|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|12 Oct 2003||Steve||Oh God, the pain! Those of you who have been posting here for years must be very strong, because I've only been visiting this site for a few months and I'm afraid my time has already come and I'll be committing suicide within the very near future. I had a bad experience a couple of days ago and I feel like the pain I've been feeling over the past several months has suddenly increased one hundred fold.
Though I was suicidal before, I had actually been managing to continue with my everyday life quite well without any severe attacks lately, but now everything's changed. I can't eat (this isn't due to an eating disorder, I've literally lost my ENTIRE appetite due to overwhelming depression and anxiety). I can't sleep either for the same reason. I have shivers all over, not because of the temperature, but because my body actually seems to be in some sort of severely depressed/anxious state of shock that it can't snap out of. I'm sitting here writing this and I'm scared, because on one hand, I don't want to die, but on the other hand my life has become so miserably hopeless and depressing to the point that my body has entered a state of shock and I can't even do basic tasks properly such as eating and sleeping. I never thought I'd be saying this, but I think I'm definitely going to kill myself sometime within the next 30 days, because I just can't deal with my pain anymore. I feel so wretched and worthless right now that I could seriously end up killing myself tomorrow for all I know.
As I said, I don't know when I'll go through with it, but I think I'll be dead within the next month. Therefore, as soon as I stop posting for an extended length of time, you guys can pretty much assume I'm dead, because I feel so terrible right now that each day feels like another nail in the coffin. I'd like to thank everyone here for your company, and Mouchette for running these boards. I wish you all the best, and for my sake, and everyone elses that's commited suicide, let's hope there's something fulfilling beyond our broken lives. I may continue to post up until my death, but I just thought I'd finalize things preemptively, just in case I don't return.
|11 Oct 2003||josh||hey i am really sorry if i caused a problem but i am cutting myself and i dont know wat to do plz help me thanks|
|09 Oct 2003||michelle||hi, my name is michelle and im only 14 and i have try to commit suicide. im not like other people i have a bf and my family dont get along. my best friend have just recently had killed himself and i have been in running in to da law a lot in da pass 3 months but i found a way to stay alive and dat was my little girl vanessa. she is only 9 months and im living my life to be with her. i hope many others dont kill themself but just seeing dis web-site and reading wat people wrote is just where i belong here with other people who think and act like me. i need help!
thank you for ur time!
|06 Oct 2003||Steve||help, help
get me out of here
|30 Sep 2003||joe blow||i dont know . but i do know that my time has come. i have no choice now but to end it all.. i have nothing left in this world.. i have made my mind up it was a hard choice but now it is made.. goodbye world ..ill never see my mother again or all the things in this world.. the navy hates me and wants me dead too ..so.. be it..|
|20 Sep 2003||leanne to steven||Oh,Steven,we can be losers together. i'm a minority in every place i go, even at times when i may not look like one, i sure feel like one inside. when i walk the streets (a rare thing) and i see people smiling... it makes me sad, i want to smile, so sometimes i fake one, but it hurts,it fades, so i dont bother. im starting college on monday, im dreading it... enrolement day was dissapointing... i was surrounded by sheep... people who dress the same, act the same, walk&talk the same. these were exactly the kinda assholes i was hoping to escape from at high-school which was the whole point of leaving, but it seems the 'clone syndrome' is spreading more rapidly than i thought. i think what this place needs is a little less of the normal, acceptable & ordinary and more people like us. we need to spice things up a little with more nut-cases ,loonatics, freaks, mental-head-cases. i'd feel more at home then. im a goth/grunge girl myself, everyone stares and my family ask why i dress in black, well its coz i feel like im in darkness 24/7. its like everybody else radiates with health, their colourful inner-selves shines on the outside and im like the background of a painting... or a dull shadow or a grim wall. im noticed and i stand out but i feel invisible and get ignored. im like the side dish at the restaurant that nobody orders so it just gets pushed to the corner of the table, or it gets sent away.
i was doing a bit of thinking one sleepless night, and i thought.... hmmm, if we get 100 depressed suicidals and give them a gun, i wonder how many would actually pull the trigger? i admit i'd hesitate. i wanna die so much but still i find myslef hanging around for something.. i dunno... maybe waiting for my package of happiness to be delivered, but still it hasn't arrived. i dont think it will, so why am i still lurking around? i feel pathetic most of the time saying to myself, 'oh just stop wallowing in self pity for fuck sake, accept that life equals loss, stop embracing and indulging in all your flaws and imperfections!'' why isnt it that easy? i wish it were. i wish i could take my brilliant mate's advice and 'lighten up' 'smile' or 'cheer up.'
this is coming from a 17 year old who first attempted to retreat on a permanent vaccation at the age of 13... im crap at this suicide thing... useless at living and hopeless at dying. is there anything i'll ever get right?!
|14 Sep 2003||kat||how fucked up am i? im 15 yrs old, ive barely been through any shit, yet i have no faith in life. This website is a perfect example, it just shows that life is shit and the only thing that keeps us going is the hope that it'll get better, but it doesnt... it never does because nothing changes not ppl not things... They evolve but at the core never change. i only wish i knew someone as fucked up as me or had someone to convince me that im not fucked up at all, two opposite extremes but i need someone to satisfy the cynic in me and someone to satisfy the idealist. The truth is neither of these "someones" exist. I wish i was normal, i wish i didnt loathe myself so much, i wish i wasnt fucked up, i wish cuz thats all i have left, empty meaningless wishes that will never come true, but its a better alternative than killing myself. i dont think i'll ever commit suicide. i mean ive cut and ive come close but for some reason i know i'll never do it. What's ironic is the only reason i cut is out of self loathing and other that the satisfaction of physical pain the only thing i got from it was more self loathing. I want to escape life, i wanna run away from myself, only i dont know how. So for now i'll just make it through another day, numb, detached, pretending im happy, pretending im normal, ignoring the scars that adorn my left hand. Because that's what life is... a game of pretend.|
|06 Sep 2003||ronwelthy||la solitude, toujours cette solitude qui vous envahit la nuit, qui vous fait douter de tout, ce même sentiment qui vous fit la voir sous son vrai regard. Parfois je m'installe dans la cour du lycée et je les voit, tous en groupe a discuter de chose et d'autre. Et de ne pas en faire partie cela me rend si triste et me montre l'évidence, je ne suis pas comme eux. Pas que je sois plus idiot, juste plus seul, juste plus triste. Enfin il faut dire que depuis le collège la vie ne m'a pas aidé, dès la 6eme j'ai connu les insultes, les humiliations, ce qui m'a conduit a me réfugier dans les livres et maintenant que je voudrais me refaire une place, je remarque que je suis trop éloigné d'eux.
De plus l'amour, que jai toujours recherché sans jamais le rencontrer... enfin si, je l'ai vu l'année dernière. Aline, une fille intelligente, jolie, différente de toute celles que j'avais vues avant. Mais la confiance en moi que depuis la 6eme j'avais perdu, je ne l'ai jamais retrouvé, et donc je l'ai laissé partir avec ce gars, ce type que tant de fois, même si je ne le connait pas, j'ai voulut tuer.
Maintenant, cette année je suis dans la même classe qu'elle, Terminale L a St Charles Val a Orléans et son visage que jamais je n'embrasserai, sa voix qui ne parlera jamais pour moi, est encore dans ma mémoire et je n'arriverai sans doute jamais a m'en débarasser. Aujourd'hui je me retrouve toujours tout seul, sans une fille a qui confier mes secrets, avec des parents pour qui le mot d'ordre est controler. C'est triste la vie quand on se sent trop différent pour aborder les autres. C'est pourquoi seul la mort m'apportera le réconfort, seul l'absence de douleur, de conscience, de sentiment me permettra d'accéder a cet état de pur bonheur, délivré des problèmes matériels. Je me dit qu'enfin, au paradis , je serais certainement plus heureux que sur cette ville merdique ou le silence est d'or et la parole interdite, ou la solidarité a disparut pour laisser place a une indifférence caractérisée.
Je m'en vais, je part. Aline, j'espère qu'un jour tu comprendras que tu aura été l'Unique fille que j'aurai aimé, que tu y repenseras toujours
|01 Sep 2003||Steve||I'm 18 and I want to die so I can end the pain of no longer having anything to be grateful for in my life. I've been spending a long time trying to come to terms with who I've become, and the more I think about it, the more I hate myself and I want to end my life and all of the pain that comes with it. All I have left is emotional baggage that is too heavy to carry and is causing me to sink deeper everyday. I don't know how much longer I can last. This past year of my life has just been one massive downward spiral and I feel like I may be nearing the end of my ride. All of my hopes and expectations for myself were nothing more than dreams that have left me broken and without any reason to continue. I am afraid of what the future may hold in such an ominous time for me. I just keep going, day by day, waiting until the moment finally comes that my depression disappears permanently (I STRONGLY doubt this will happen) or I am finally fully resolved to kill myself and end up going through with it. (This seems more likely unfortunately)|
|01 Sep 2003||Alex||Hello everyone. I wrote here about a year ago during one of my suicide moods which I used to get in swings back then. I used to get them every few days and I would log on to suicide sites every time I felt like killing myself. Since then some things have changed.... and some haven't. I find that I don't feel suicidal as often as I used to however, when I do get mad, I really go at it, often trying to slit my wrists without really killing myself (just until a little blood comes out). I found out that I was looking for a lot of attention, often trying to flaunt my "injuries" to the girls at school I liked. I've sinced tried to analyze what happens during these mood swings (it does help to be smart sometimes) and have started a suicide journal that I write in when I feel like utter shit. I still flip out about once a week and this is usually due to pressure. I am still in very tough courses including two AP classes, one of which, bio, is considered to be tougher than the average freshman college course. I'm only telling people this so they know where I'm coming from when I say I'm under a little pressure. My parents, especially my dad, insist that I will have some remarkable, thoughtful effect on the world. As soon as I hear the bullshit spew out of his mouth I just clench my teeth and think of the sweet pain on my wrists as I slide that razor up and down. That is one of the times that I get "suicidal." The other is when I think of my social life, or lack thereof. I still don't have that many friends, and even though I got a date for the christmas ball last year, I got shut down when I went for a goodnight kiss. There's this girl in Wisconsin that I met when I was out there visitng my other friend who lives there and we would probably be going out if we didn't live 1000 miles away. That was one thing that really got me was the day I got back from Wis. I missed Lauren so much, and I realized how pathetic and sad my life here is. I went at it that night and I still have marks from where I started cutting. I guess this is still a cry for help from anyone who's willing to read it. I can help myself but as this school year gets going I'm just going to get swamped by work, and the pressure is just going to build until i explode. I'm one of those people that takes all the shit from everyone else and it just piles up until one day.... and that one day is going to be bad. I'ts not like I'd go kill someone else, but I might finally make that blade a little bit sharper...|
|23 Aug 2003||Terri||i'm nearly 16 years old. my life has been shit for a while now. everyday i have a battle with myself wether or not i should kill myself or not. i've tried but everytime chicken out. i have nothing to live for. i'm not like most cases, i've had boyfriends and i could get more if i wanted but no one understands me. i don't talk to people, i rather hate being in a crowded room if i'm not drunk. my parents are together but both act like they don't want me around. if they had it their way i most likely wouldn't. i find myself crying all the time, and trying my damndess to find something good in my life. but i never do. i need someone but no one cares. please help me, i only want to be happy. please.|
|05 Aug 2003||Lezard Valeth||I'm 17 and I hate my life, I have depression since I was 5, I never had friends and people only aproched from me when they wanted to tease me or wanted a favor or something from me, even my family hates me, I never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone, no one never cared about me, my whole life is a failure, i feel down all the time and i'm always thinking on suicide but I'm such a coward that I'm a failure in even that, I just wished to know why god hates me so much, if anyone knows a fast, and painless way to suicide tell me cause I'm starting to get enough courage to end my pityful life...|
|05 Aug 2003||iza|| somebody please help
hi. i went outside a few minutes ago, i was wandering down the street and thought about a suicide. it seems like the only way out. but then i remembered, that today is my mother's birthday and it would be nasty to kill yourself on your mum's birthday, right?
but i'm so much tired of this motherfucking life. right now i just really want to die. there is absolutely nothing in this world that i could live for. i wish someone would just kill me. o god what the hell did i do to you???? why do you have to hate me so much?
for somebody in slovenia:
crt tole je zate:
ce bos enkrat dozivu to kar sm jst s tabo, me bos razumu. ce ne, me verjetn ne bos. tist obdobje,k sm bla s tabo je bil nedvomno najbl hepi obdobje mojga lajfa-ce ne celo edin. brez tebe nimam nc! vse stvari so nepomembe in mi ga cist zvisijo, tko kt jst teb. zelim si, d bi me meu tok rd kokr mam jst tebe, pa me nimas.jst pa tud nobenga druzga nm mogla met vec tok rada. kva nej pol se delam? zajebala sm k sm sploh kdaj bla s tabo,k od takrt naprej je vse drugac.k si mi dal sreco pa upanje pa vse, pol si mi pa vzel to nazaj in zdej je se huj!!!lubm te.ampak sam se potihem in sam se jst to vem...
everything is fake. enjoy people!
|31 Jul 2003||Joshua||I hate my life. Ive been suffering from depression ever since i was about 6-7. Im 18 and have never felt as worse as i am right now. I constantly think about killing myself, the only reason i can think of, why im still here is because of my mum. I dont know what she would do if she knew I killed myself.
Im 18 and i have never had a girlfriend or a job. All my friends are moving up and on, and i am going no where. I am an ugly pathetic loser. I dont know what to do. THis is not a message for you to sympathies to, i guess im just asking for help
My life is shit and i have no reason to believe that it will ever get any better. Why cant i just die accidentally or something, then it wouldnt be my fault.
|29 Jul 2003||molli||O thank god yur still alive Just a girl I was worried there for a while... gay punk- u were right she was still alive wow hope might have done somehting...
but ya my life is getting more fucked up and I wish my parents would just split. they were fighting again today and again today... and also I had a heart attack today only a minor one but when it was over I ended up coughing up blood... now I find myself fighting to live for others I will never be able to live to keep myself happy .... but to make others happy...I don't want to die now but at the same time want to escape the pain and I have lost so much weight .. I am very sick right now and confused ... and just need some ppl to talk to ....
|26 Jul 2003||vicky||Life is meant to be finished
I want some help only way to come out my miseries is to kill myself. I am dying inside with no one to speak to. 3 years back i came to know that my wife, whom i loved so much was having an affair with my cousin that son of bitch bastard mother fucker i wanted to kill that bastard and that bitch also
why it had to happen with me
she claims she is innocent and that bastard got after her
but i know she is lying
I wanna go and finish myself
|22 Jul 2003||emma||i really cant b fuked 2 live my life anymore it is so fuked up and all the ppl i do meet and understand they live in america and stuff and theres me livin in england! i cant cope no more so plzzzzzzzzzzz sum1 help me my email addy is firstname.lastname@example.org|
|22 Jul 2003||kerrie||my name is kerrie i dont want to live anymore i have been depressed for a long time i just need someone to talk to|
|21 Jul 2003||brody||i haven't got anything wrong with me and my family is as perfect as can be so why do i always have feel like shit!? i'm 14 years old and i just wanna die. i wake up feeling like shit but most of the time, i cant even sleep (insomnia) sometimes i even cry myself to sleep. i've tried so many times but every time i've been brought back, it has done nothing. i just wanna die. why can't anyone understand?! my parents think im over it but i'm not, why would i be?i just feel so lonely what's the point in me living coz all i feel is pain. please tell me how 2 end it be4 i cause my family more pain!|
|15 Jul 2003||Jennifer||The reason that I wanna die is that well maybe I have problems and think of things in a different way than most people. I do not believe that I was put here for any reason at all. I think that this was all a mistake and I was put on earth by accident. I look to the stars each night wondering why and feeling this loneliness as if I was forgotten by a different race of people. I think I made a u-turn and it was an accident that I ended up on earth. I see things different. I sometimes think that I can hear and feel animals pain. I can read people. I feel the pain for people who do not see the earth as the shithole it is turning into. I speak my voice on abusing people and animals and I am laughed at. I have dreams of places I do not know and have not seen. I am not normal. I feel now that on my 21st year I have to die to prove a point. I want the world to see that they are all slowly killing the race of humanity. They are all going to suffer for how they treat themselves. I know that there are others out there who think like me. But I can no longer stay here. I was always told in dreams of my pregnancy that would take place on my 18th year of life. That indeed came true. And the child was taken away due to his father almost killing him. He was to be a child of the light. I am now told that because I let him slip away and this child almost died, that due to this on my 21st year I will die for not letting him be raised by me. I was to teach him the natural ways, Now it will all be lost and my point for being here is now totally lost. I will be dead soon. But the voices tell me that it will have to be by my own hands. What do I do?|