What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|26 Jan 2020
||First, you aquire some Clorox, pull a knife from your ass, and proceed to chug some Clorox while stabbing yourself.
|22 Dec 2019
||Headbutt a nail
|19 Dec 2019
||a friendly shopper that snapped.
||The other day i went to the store. It was super busy and packed with shoppers. There was a big fat guy there who was obnoxious and being ignored because he was interrupting another customer/store associate conversation. The fat fuck didn't seem to care about waiting his turn and just started getting louder and louder asking the same series of questions. Where are the prunes? Do you have any prunes? I finally spoke up and said there are prunes over there and pointed, on aisle, don't be rude or your bowels get stopped up. Every shopper began laughing and acting shocked. The fat ass tried to act unphased but his cheeks were bright red. The guy obviously had bowel problems and probably because he eats to much. He is the kind of guy who stays single his whole life because he is so open to speak about his restroom experiences. He needs those prunes because his turds are as big as his cankles. So i met him in the parking lot with a ski mask on. I robbed him of his prunes, money, and shoes. I made him eat all his snack cakes right there telling him he was going to suffer the worst constipation he ever had. I kicked him right in his fat gut and left. Since i kept his government issued photo i.d. i went to his house. He was laying on the floor of his restroom crying from being constipated. He had been giving himself enemas. I kicked him in his fat belly again and handcuffed him. I made him eat all the food in his house. I told him his fat ass was going to die from not being able to shit. He started shaking and sobbing. I put a bag over his head and said i will come back every day and feed your fat ass until you die. I told him if one piece of shit comes out of your ass i will cut you open and tie your intestines in a knot and sew you back up and make you eat food everyday until you die. I told him i was going to take pictures and video him and send it to his mother so she could see how disgusting he is and that all this happened because he was rude in the store. If you had just been cool and not raised your voice over everyone to get your selfish way you could have enjoyed the rest of your geeky constipated life where you stay a virgin forever because you are to fat to even see your dick. But no. You think you are so important. How important will you be as a corpse with 15 kilos of dried up impacted shit inside you? Fuck you you fucking fatfucking fuckass. So tomorrow when i go back i am going to feed him oatmeal with sawdust and metal filings. Once he is impacted i am going to kick him in his rock hard impacted turd filled gut.
|06 Dec 2019
||sleeping in a government building tower nightly
||Become one of those people who do nature shows in africa. Lions or hyenas will eat you. A hippo or a crocodile. A rhino might charge you and crush you. And it is even possible a person over there might cook and eat you. You probably have a better chance of being a victim of genocide over there. Its sad how much killing is goin on. But hey, this is what you want. Because you are just too sad and prozac isnt helping.
|04 Dec 2019
||I'm your mom
||I'll teach you a way to fucking end it all. Take a couple of fucking shotguns and shot up your local church or school, the rats in those buildings deserve what's coming to them. Kill them all and burn their corpses with napalm, and watch as their fucking bodies burn to ashes. Then when all the fucking fat pigs are outside the building getting ready to tear you a new hole, go outside with a hostage, then blow your fucking brains out in front of them. This way you'll traumatize them for life. I know a thirteen year old can't even kill a goddamn fire ant, they wouldn't have the guts to do this shit.
|17 Nov 2019
||live stream it on Utube.
||Wear lots of heavy wintet clothing and jog in place saying over and over there is no place like home, no place like home until you are about to pass out then Snort hot sauce up your nose and pour it in your eyes and then jump in a bath tub full of ice water. Dont leave a note or tell anyone why.
|16 Nov 2019
||mouth, nose, ear plugs. use them at night so they all synchronize. mouth and nose plugs suffocate you while the ear plugs prevent you from hearing people screaming that their child is dying
|14 Nov 2019
||Being eaten by a sperm whale. I hear those things can make the whole pacific ocean cloudy with just one orgasam. What a tremendous feat, I am unable to do that with just one bathtub. Just a cool interesting fact, but sperm whales are the cause of oceans being so salty with their extreme multiple hour fertilization fest.
|13 Nov 2019
|09 Nov 2019
||again, i will apply to a local store called Kyles Hot Chicken. i will send a video of myself eating their product in hopes of getting their attention. they will see how much i enjoy the feast and they will hire me instantly. i have done this many times with little to no response. the CEO of this hellish mom and pop resturaunt has messaged me numerous times begging for me to quit harrasing them, but im NOT harrassing them. On sunday i will do this again, this time amping up how much i appear to like their horrid chicken. i need money and they arent complying.
|05 Nov 2019
||I was made in a laboratory in canada. There are 4 of me previous to me and i am the first of the 5th generation clones. I was made in a place called cloneaid. I had to escape because i was apart of a series of experiments that were a secret contract with china. China wants to build a super army of clones that is billions strong. They were going to cyrogenicly freeze me. I acted like i was going to go along with it but i stabed the scientist in the neck with a pen and took out his eyeball to get past the biometric security. When i escaped the the trash shoot i landed in a dumpster full of dead clone body parts. I kept a hand.
|07 Oct 2019
||Watch Squidward taking a shit from Deviantart. While your room is nothing but dark, sooner or later. Some big ass dipshit will take you to any big city in Ohio, where you will work as a cobbler for the rest of your miserable life.
|25 Sep 2019
||by shooting yourself in the head with 2 desert eagles at the same time and playing some Japanese heavy metal dubstep
|16 Sep 2019
||moehammid ali dean
||I think it may be a cultural thing. For instance if you are born and raised in the west they will tell you there is no best answer. If you are born in the middle east they will tell you the best way is with one of those special vests and that method will bring 72 virgins in the afterlife. I never understood how they got the number 72. And wont that be special. 72 virgins will only be a virgin once for all of eternity. And then no more virgins for you mr. Suicide vest guy. Unless of course, the special vest blows off your ding a ling. Then they would be a virgin forever. But the rest of the world knows the truth. The 72 virgins are actually male demons in hell with genetalia like an elephant but is rotting flesh from all the diseases and flesh rotting bacteria. They have been in hell for thousands of years and they are going to bend you over and take turns with you. You will get analy raped 72 times a day for all eternity mr. Special vest guy. And the whole time you will be whipped if you dont say haaah-la hak-bar, salami lick em, lick em salami.
|09 Sep 2019
||make it stop, just make it stop please!
||I ate a medium sized bowl of beans today at lunch. This gas is killing me. Oh its awful. Its already bad but the last bit of aroma gets worse going to a putrid burnt pop corn smell. And I am bigg ripping it every two or three minutes.
|08 Sep 2019
||white pants parade
||Go jogging while on your period with no clothes on. Period blood going everywhare
|03 Sep 2019
||menstral menstrations of mental divergence
||Associate with people. Anyone. A little part of you will die with your interactions with each person. This is due to either they will lie to you, cheat you, use you, or they will just be a complete utterly useless sack of shit with the IQ of a small matchbox full of grean peas. It is amazing how humans have survived for thousands of years. And the funny thing is they just keep getting dumber and dumber. This will take a lot of time. If you want something quick go into a womans restroom and get all the "sanitary napkins" also known as maxi pads or tampons. Put the pads in your pockets and hang the tampon strings around your ears or necklace. The smell of menstration attracts bears. And bears will eat you.
|24 Aug 2019
||mass murder then drown yourself in the blood of your victims xoxo gossip girl
|18 Aug 2019
||I met an alien with big tits. She said her species is dying off from a disease and she needed to take back dna samples from three land animals. I told her to just stay on earth but she said she was the only survivor with big tits and her genes must carry on. I said thats not going to happen and hit her in the head with a baseball bat and took her to my basement and chained her up. I still have her. I do not really know what to do with her. She can clean and cook so i am thinking sell her to whoever offers the most money. Let the bidding start at 10k.
|12 Aug 2019
||I have begun a new hobbie. Its called hair plucking. All you need is some tweezers. You pluck one hair at a time. If you pluck more than one its ok. No one is going to hold it against you. I actually have two new hobbies. The othe hobbie is trapping animals. I like foothold traps. I skin the animals and tan their hides. I trapped a skunk and i asked someone what to do. There is a product called skunk sleeper. It is a syringe on a stick. The stick is a paint roller extension pole, for painting celings or tall walls. The syringe screws on. The man told me the best liquid to put in the syringe is acetone. I tried this and the skunk started convulsing and shaking and acting like it was in tremendous pain but died quickly. I have been thinking about trying other chemicals. Such as motor oil or brown gravy.