|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|31 Oct 2003||serenity_in_death||I'm 17 and have a boyfriend who loves me a lot. But I sometimes wished he had never fallen so deeply in love with me, because i'm hindered from jumping out of my apartment 15 stories high, because the vision of his face just clouds my mind and makes me falter. It's so painful to be trapped, when your heart so wants to die. There seems to be nothing to be happy about in life, with my parents expecting me to ace my exams since i've been all my life, yet i'm spiralling downward now even though I study so hard. They don't seem to care. Friends at school are fake and competitive and don't give a damn about me. I hate myself. I feel I deserve so much punishment for being such a pathetic and hopeless person all my life. What's the point of living when there's nothing to be happy about?|
|29 Oct 2003||Annette||ugh someone please just tell me something besides jump off a bridge or shoot myself.... cause i obviously won't do that. i already tried ODing so many pills so many times and slitting wrists definitley don't help.... so any suggestions, please they are greatly appreciated :)|
|29 Oct 2003||Annette||im not under 13.... and im not new to this site. of course im starting those stupid thoughts again. i kept thinking that i got over this stupid suicidal bullshit.... but i guess not. if it keeps coming back to haunt me to make me keep trying..... im obviously not over. but i think its a sign probably telling me i should do something already to just end it. i know this sounds stupid but what really is a good and easy acess to kill myself. i already tried the ODing and cutting wrists methods plenty of times so that's not possible.... if anyone can give me some good ideeas besides jumping off a bridge or taking a gun cause i obviously won't do that, it'd be helpful. thank you|
|24 Oct 2003||alex||i just found this site and i can really relate to most of these people here. im only 15 and i have already tried to kill myself 3 times. twice with pills and once with starvation. starvation wasnt really a smart one. then i already finished all the pills i can find in the house. there are many reasons why i just wanna die. im different i have always been, im mexican and i cant even fit in with the mexicans its funny really... i have friends but all they do is not accept me for who i am and backstab me. i have nothing going for me in life. i havent even been on a date! much less kissed the a girl. my mom is constantly yelling at me when i rarely see her and always threatens me, i was beat horribly when i was a kid, and i also saw my only friend get gunned down in a drive by ever since ive always been alone. im as dumb as a stick and i am as attractive as a lump of green mold. the only decent thing i can do is play guitar. and im just decent... but if anyone has any advice or some form of easy painless suicide e-mail me.
and the best way to kill yourself under 13 is umm... choking on playdoh?
|24 Oct 2003||Larua||Life. Whats the point? I just got out of a 2 year relationship and can't seem to get over it. But the relationship really isn't it. I've tried killing myself at least 5 times and was never successful. Nothing in life even matters anymore. I know that sounds depressing and many of you are probably like... dude get over it, life is great, life is grand.... everything is just falling down in my life. I've tried so hard in everything for 20 years, for what? Everything that I ever loved and everything that I ever wanted was a waste of time. I've wasted years of hoping and loving and do you know what? It got me nowhere.|
|20 Oct 2003||rosy||I've tried to commit suicide before but haven't succeeded at it. i'm 16 and no one is there for me. the only thing keeping me alive is thinking how much my mother and little brother will suffer if i'm gone i also have a little brother on the way and i want to be able to see and hold him before i decide to go through with it. if any1 knows a way to commit suicide that is not painful and successful then let me know!|
|19 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||i was wondering if i could talk to u. for a while sometime. if u ever get a chance. Have u ever tried to commit suicide? i'm about to take some pills right now. nothing major just about 4000mg. last night i took about 9000mg. nothing's happened yet. but i'm still waiting. I just want someone to talk to. and i have no one.
|19 Oct 2003||Michael||i feel so alone, all i have wanted to do since i was 6 is kill myself. but i'm too gutless to do it. i'm now 19 and i'm Australian, at university. i have always felt so different from everyone else and i've never fit in anywhere, i have no real friends. i had some in college (in Aus thats highschool), but all they did was betray and hurt me. Now at uni i have no friends at all. i haven't been abused, and in some respects i'm quite lucky, but i always feel like shit, and feeling like shit when i really, compared to say like people in 3rd world country or those below the poverty line, should be happy, makes me feel guilty and then i feel even shittyer. i feel lost and alone, and i can't see any real reason to live. Love is a lie, and hope is an even worse stigma.|
|18 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||Sometimes you believe that there is no other way out than to just end it now and not have to worry any more about the agonizing pain and the twisted torment. For you, dieing may be a way of solitude, a way of total peace. What should it matter to anyone else if you're going to do it or not? Shouldn't it be your life? And the people who say they care after u attempt it, why didn't they show they cared in the first place before u tried it. I'd love to get out of this teasing reality. The only time i am truly at peace is when i'm sleeping and even then it gets interrupted by whispering howls and gruesome nightmares. So i guess there isn't a true peace any way. I mean after u die what then? What happens when you're dead? Is there a god, a 2nd life, true peace, or just all blackness and quiet sounds. I wish i knew an answer. I wish i could help someone. or that someone could help me. But i'm lost and i can't seem to find my way.|
|18 Oct 2003||Tiffany||I just found this site a few days ago and really felt close to the people responding to it. Chris is an excellent writer and Leanne sounds like a very good friend. As for the others who write very little, I hope I can help in some way. My little brother committed suicide last year. He will now be forever 18. It was the worst experience of my life. He dies every day in my mind and there is nothing I can do to help him. I also tried suicide twice, once at 15 and another time at 16. I was such a screw up I could not even succeed at that. I somehow made it through that with the help of my friends. I am now older and very thankful I screwed up my suicide attempts. My life changed so much that thinking of taking my own life now would never be an option. My family background is pretty screwed up too. My father just died in May from Alcoholism. And since my father was both mentally and physically abusive, my mom decided she would just be mentally abusive. Please email me if you want to talk about anything. I have a lot of experience with suicide.......|
|14 Oct 2003||Thomas||Hi my name is Thomas and i have a problem. My problem is that i think about commiting suicide every day. I am now 19 and my birthday was only a couple of days ago. The reason i feel so depressed is due to the overwhelming stress i undergo everday. I appear to be thirty years old and not very attractive and it is heart breaking. On top of that everyone i know looks down on me due to my various mistakes. Also due to the fact that they think i am a homosexual. My mom also has become crippled due to an unkown entity that has retarded her body. I am seriously loosing my mind. And the other day i had somebody shoot at our house. Yeah shoot at our house. My whole family looks down at me and feels i am the reason to blame, and in a sense i am the reason to blame. I am very tired of living and am right now seeking help as a last attempt to regain some of the sanity that i have lost over the years. Please somebody help me.|
|14 Oct 2003||molly whitlaw||my answer is not just for people under 13. i have been suicidal for most of my life. i am 15 year old girl with a normal life and iv tried ODing 3 times (it doesnt work, but i have had my stomach pumped) and jumped out of several very high windows apparently i am lucky to be alive but i cant look at it that way. i seem to spend my whole life cutting myself up, looking for the next bunch of pills i can find, getting stoned or drunk. there is nothing else that makes me happy anymore i wake up each morning and cry cos im still alive. if i see pictures of war and suffering i feel guilty for hating life so much when there are people who would do anything for my life!!!, but i can't help how i feel. if anyone reads this who feels how i do please mail me cos it would be cool to speak to someone like me!!! cheers
oh yeah!!! i havent put how to kill yourself have i?................. i don't know. just don't OD it does'nt work neither does jumping out of a window!!!
but fixing the microwave to work without the door shut (stick a chop stick in the clip that shuts the door) and then microwaving your head would be quite interesting!!! please mail me and tell me if it works ??????? :)
|12 Oct 2003||Steve||Oh God, the pain! Those of you who have been posting here for years must be very strong, because I've only been visiting this site for a few months and I'm afraid my time has already come and I'll be committing suicide within the very near future. I had a bad experience a couple of days ago and I feel like the pain I've been feeling over the past several months has suddenly increased one hundred fold.
Though I was suicidal before, I had actually been managing to continue with my everyday life quite well without any severe attacks lately, but now everything's changed. I can't eat (this isn't due to an eating disorder, I've literally lost my ENTIRE appetite due to overwhelming depression and anxiety). I can't sleep either for the same reason. I have shivers all over, not because of the temperature, but because my body actually seems to be in some sort of severely depressed/anxious state of shock that it can't snap out of. I'm sitting here writing this and I'm scared, because on one hand, I don't want to die, but on the other hand my life has become so miserably hopeless and depressing to the point that my body has entered a state of shock and I can't even do basic tasks properly such as eating and sleeping. I never thought I'd be saying this, but I think I'm definitely going to kill myself sometime within the next 30 days, because I just can't deal with my pain anymore. I feel so wretched and worthless right now that I could seriously end up killing myself tomorrow for all I know.
As I said, I don't know when I'll go through with it, but I think I'll be dead within the next month. Therefore, as soon as I stop posting for an extended length of time, you guys can pretty much assume I'm dead, because I feel so terrible right now that each day feels like another nail in the coffin. I'd like to thank everyone here for your company, and Mouchette for running these boards. I wish you all the best, and for my sake, and everyone elses that's commited suicide, let's hope there's something fulfilling beyond our broken lives. I may continue to post up until my death, but I just thought I'd finalize things preemptively, just in case I don't return.
|11 Oct 2003||josh||hey i am really sorry if i caused a problem but i am cutting myself and i dont know wat to do plz help me thanks|
|09 Oct 2003||michelle||hi, my name is michelle and im only 14 and i have try to commit suicide. im not like other people i have a bf and my family dont get along. my best friend have just recently had killed himself and i have been in running in to da law a lot in da pass 3 months but i found a way to stay alive and dat was my little girl vanessa. she is only 9 months and im living my life to be with her. i hope many others dont kill themself but just seeing dis web-site and reading wat people wrote is just where i belong here with other people who think and act like me. i need help!
thank you for ur time!
|06 Oct 2003||Steve||help, help
get me out of here
|30 Sep 2003||joe blow||i dont know . but i do know that my time has come. i have no choice now but to end it all.. i have nothing left in this world.. i have made my mind up it was a hard choice but now it is made.. goodbye world ..ill never see my mother again or all the things in this world.. the navy hates me and wants me dead too ..so.. be it..|
|20 Sep 2003||leanne to steven||Oh,Steven,we can be losers together. i'm a minority in every place i go, even at times when i may not look like one, i sure feel like one inside. when i walk the streets (a rare thing) and i see people smiling... it makes me sad, i want to smile, so sometimes i fake one, but it hurts,it fades, so i dont bother. im starting college on monday, im dreading it... enrolement day was dissapointing... i was surrounded by sheep... people who dress the same, act the same, walk&talk the same. these were exactly the kinda assholes i was hoping to escape from at high-school which was the whole point of leaving, but it seems the 'clone syndrome' is spreading more rapidly than i thought. i think what this place needs is a little less of the normal, acceptable & ordinary and more people like us. we need to spice things up a little with more nut-cases ,loonatics, freaks, mental-head-cases. i'd feel more at home then. im a goth/grunge girl myself, everyone stares and my family ask why i dress in black, well its coz i feel like im in darkness 24/7. its like everybody else radiates with health, their colourful inner-selves shines on the outside and im like the background of a painting... or a dull shadow or a grim wall. im noticed and i stand out but i feel invisible and get ignored. im like the side dish at the restaurant that nobody orders so it just gets pushed to the corner of the table, or it gets sent away.
i was doing a bit of thinking one sleepless night, and i thought.... hmmm, if we get 100 depressed suicidals and give them a gun, i wonder how many would actually pull the trigger? i admit i'd hesitate. i wanna die so much but still i find myslef hanging around for something.. i dunno... maybe waiting for my package of happiness to be delivered, but still it hasn't arrived. i dont think it will, so why am i still lurking around? i feel pathetic most of the time saying to myself, 'oh just stop wallowing in self pity for fuck sake, accept that life equals loss, stop embracing and indulging in all your flaws and imperfections!'' why isnt it that easy? i wish it were. i wish i could take my brilliant mate's advice and 'lighten up' 'smile' or 'cheer up.'
this is coming from a 17 year old who first attempted to retreat on a permanent vaccation at the age of 13... im crap at this suicide thing... useless at living and hopeless at dying. is there anything i'll ever get right?!
|14 Sep 2003||kat||how fucked up am i? im 15 yrs old, ive barely been through any shit, yet i have no faith in life. This website is a perfect example, it just shows that life is shit and the only thing that keeps us going is the hope that it'll get better, but it doesnt... it never does because nothing changes not ppl not things... They evolve but at the core never change. i only wish i knew someone as fucked up as me or had someone to convince me that im not fucked up at all, two opposite extremes but i need someone to satisfy the cynic in me and someone to satisfy the idealist. The truth is neither of these "someones" exist. I wish i was normal, i wish i didnt loathe myself so much, i wish i wasnt fucked up, i wish cuz thats all i have left, empty meaningless wishes that will never come true, but its a better alternative than killing myself. i dont think i'll ever commit suicide. i mean ive cut and ive come close but for some reason i know i'll never do it. What's ironic is the only reason i cut is out of self loathing and other that the satisfaction of physical pain the only thing i got from it was more self loathing. I want to escape life, i wanna run away from myself, only i dont know how. So for now i'll just make it through another day, numb, detached, pretending im happy, pretending im normal, ignoring the scars that adorn my left hand. Because that's what life is... a game of pretend.|
|06 Sep 2003||ronwelthy||la solitude, toujours cette solitude qui vous envahit la nuit, qui vous fait douter de tout, ce même sentiment qui vous fit la voir sous son vrai regard. Parfois je m'installe dans la cour du lycée et je les voit, tous en groupe a discuter de chose et d'autre. Et de ne pas en faire partie cela me rend si triste et me montre l'évidence, je ne suis pas comme eux. Pas que je sois plus idiot, juste plus seul, juste plus triste. Enfin il faut dire que depuis le collège la vie ne m'a pas aidé, dès la 6eme j'ai connu les insultes, les humiliations, ce qui m'a conduit a me réfugier dans les livres et maintenant que je voudrais me refaire une place, je remarque que je suis trop éloigné d'eux.
De plus l'amour, que jai toujours recherché sans jamais le rencontrer... enfin si, je l'ai vu l'année dernière. Aline, une fille intelligente, jolie, différente de toute celles que j'avais vues avant. Mais la confiance en moi que depuis la 6eme j'avais perdu, je ne l'ai jamais retrouvé, et donc je l'ai laissé partir avec ce gars, ce type que tant de fois, même si je ne le connait pas, j'ai voulut tuer.
Maintenant, cette année je suis dans la même classe qu'elle, Terminale L a St Charles Val a Orléans et son visage que jamais je n'embrasserai, sa voix qui ne parlera jamais pour moi, est encore dans ma mémoire et je n'arriverai sans doute jamais a m'en débarasser. Aujourd'hui je me retrouve toujours tout seul, sans une fille a qui confier mes secrets, avec des parents pour qui le mot d'ordre est controler. C'est triste la vie quand on se sent trop différent pour aborder les autres. C'est pourquoi seul la mort m'apportera le réconfort, seul l'absence de douleur, de conscience, de sentiment me permettra d'accéder a cet état de pur bonheur, délivré des problèmes matériels. Je me dit qu'enfin, au paradis , je serais certainement plus heureux que sur cette ville merdique ou le silence est d'or et la parole interdite, ou la solidarité a disparut pour laisser place a une indifférence caractérisée.
Je m'en vais, je part. Aline, j'espère qu'un jour tu comprendras que tu aura été l'Unique fille que j'aurai aimé, que tu y repenseras toujours