|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|04 Sep 2018||Quincy||It's a sad day. The National Museum of Brazil in Rio de Janeiro has burned down. I had some of my greatest artifacts there. Pieces of ancient south america history. Objects i personaly found on expeditions and put there for the world to see. Artifacts thought to have been before the birth of Jesus Christ. The oldest predated the sphinx. They are gone forever. The royal family lived in the building before it was a museum. I think it was arson because there is a group of people who want to erase from brazils history everything about slavery. The royal family had many slaves some were used as sex slaves. Some were tortured. Yes Brazil has a dark past. But it's very dark now with the museum burned down.|
|30 Aug 2018||xxxMemelordxxx||Comprehend the eternal abyss called life.
Or just stare at memes
|24 Aug 2018||Chow chin ping||I met a chinese monk who liked to wear a baseball hat backwards and wear very dark sunglasses indoors. He had a gold neclack that must have weighed 12 kilograms. He was a rapper and he rhymed with english and chinese. He wanted to be a ganster so bad. He always would ask people waas ahp mye nig-row-san? His mom was the sweetest lady. She would make you a bowl of sticky rice and while you ate she would tell you stories about having men grope her and how she pretended not to like it but really she did. She said her nipples would get so hard she would squeeze and twist them. The rice was so good you would just listen to her stories. She even let me twist her nipples one time. Her wanna be gangster son pulled out a glock holding it sideways. He shot me 14 times. I am thinking chinese monks get real mad when you touch their once source of sustance. While i lay there dying from multiple gunshot wounds to the chest and head she told me a story about when her wannabe gangster son was a baby and she would change his diaper and how he would have poo poo all over his wang. I tried to tell her to shut up and i didnt want to hear that but i couldnt because i was choking on my own blood and could barely get any air in my colapsed lungs. She gently grabbed my hand and placed it on her breast. And right before i lost consiousness she told me her son was going to get caned and grounded for shooting me. holding a nice warm and bloody breast.|
|28 Jul 2018||Sgt. Davis||I am Sgt. Davis, commander of Alpha pod space station 061297. I am in charge of the space monkey operations. If you are recieving this transmission you must act before its to late. My crew was undertaking a deep space exploration operation, code named Irene, when we traveled into an electromagnetic storm that shut off all power to our space station except our reserve battery banks. I followed protocol and sent a small pod flown by a monkey into the storm first to see if it was safe. As the pod entered the eye of this storm electric charges began flashing all around the pod and a time warp opened sucking the pod inside never to be seen again. The gravitational field that this warp created was so great it began drawing the entire space station into the storm. Our battery bank did not have sufficent power to activate the thrusters and we to were drawn into this time warp. We were transported back to earths upper atmosphere. We began dropping altitude until we crashed. We are no longer in the year 2018 and this transmission is being sent back in time. The year is 2487. All of the earths people have gone tribal. All of the cities are ruins and overgrown like a forest. There was a war and biological weapons were used. Man made disease was released and killed over 95% of earths population. The only people left are immune to this disease. Your mission is to stop this war that plunges man kind back into the stone age. All the animals are dead and all men are either canibals or vegitarians. There is a constant war between the two factions. The vegitarians are called meat sacks and the canibals are called outcasts because they are not allowed in the camps where they grow food. In this new world no one is safe, its constant chaos. My entire fleet stays inside our crashed space station, drawing oxygen from outside and energy from the sun. We have traded some of our monkeys for water and food but the inhabitants of the earth eat these monkeys. Sources of protien are scarce. If you can not stop this war or the biological weapons to be manufactured most of you will die, and those that survive will be less fortunate. This is space monkey
Force of alpha pod commander, Sgt. Davis, out.
|26 Jul 2018||Level V security clearance for||Today the most bizzare thing happened. It was a very hot day. So i decided to sit under my favorite shade tree and sip on some ice tea. As I sat enjoying the fragrance of the blooms of my cookaburo tree I saw a faint shadow on the ground forming just outside of the edge of the trees shadow. I began to hear a faint and distant fearful but constant shout. In less than 3 seconds before i wondered what on earth is this, a man fell from the sky. He sank into the ground nearly 13 centimeters. I thought for sure he is dead and began wondering if someone else or even if a plane might fall on top of me. Or even worse damage my favorite shade tree. As I looked into the sky. The man began laughing. He slowly stood up in pain. He shook it off and seemed to be fine. I asked him if he would like a ride to the hospital and he refused, only asking for some low dose asprin. I always keep a bottle with me and so I gave him some asprin. He thanked me and told me he wanted to repay me for my generosity. I told him its quite alright the asprin only costs me about 14 cents a piece. I asked him to sit with me and drink some tea. He said that was a delightful and splendid idea. We began to talk and he told me about how it was he fell out of the sky. He told me that he had been born on a space station orbiting one of saturns moons. He claimed he was there to harvest a certian ore that is not found on earth that can be used in making steel alloys that are 1000 times as strong as any steel and be virtually weightless. He said his crew was harvesting this element to be used in manufacturing devices to torture people. He told me how aliens had ambushed him while he went deep into the mines one day. He said they did experiments with him and how he was going to be ,take back to earth. He escaped and jumped out of the alien space craft falling to earth.|
|23 Jul 2018||Traveling salesman||Ahh, its time to relax. Put on those favorite fuzzy slippers kick back and sip on your favorite beverage while you enjoy another session of suicide fanatics worldwide. This is the one place you can not only be yourself but you will also find fun for the whole family. So get ready to share laughter, tears, and disgust in peoples self rightous judgmental personalities. Just be careful about giving out your information or someone may come to your house and kill themselves on your door step after knocking on your front door.|
|14 Jul 2018||Travalingua||The best way to kill yourself is simply to read this and do exactly what it says. Read all of this and follow the instructions exactly. Now read this again.|
|10 Jul 2018||BBB (babybatterblasting)||Turn yourself into a petrified rock statue.|
|10 Jul 2018||Police raid dream.||Yesterday i had the most peculiar dream.
This dream was most peculiar in that i received the interpretation of this dream the instant i awoke.
I was at a friends house, but in real life i do not know these people or the house. The house is always the same. I had borrowed a pair of pants in the previous dream and was to return them. I went to change to discover i didn't bring an extra pair of pants so i said let me return them to you next time... ok.
There was to be a party outside and people began showing up, so we went outside. Shortly after i had to pee so i went thru the back yard past the shed into the woods.
I was about to relieve myself when i heard cars pull up at the house and loud shouting, "Police this is a raid get down get down...."
I said: "time to go".
I ran into the woods past a back alley and further into the woods. In 30 more meters a path oped up and i took it. The path forked, and i went right. As the path curved i came to an opening where i saw a pond. I thought i must return later and go fishing.
Once i saw the whole pond i saw hundreds and hundreds of racoons. When they saw me they all ran at me, screetching and howling. I had a small chain and i whipped it at them. The racoons stopped and I ran. I saw them all turn and run to my friend's house. I saw an opening in the woods to a building which was a doctor's office where I went to as a young child.
I had to use the restroom very badly by now so i ran there. Building was locked up. Down the road was a McDonalds. I hurried to the restroom only to discover inside it was a hair salon but all the salon chairs were toilets like in jail, stainless steel. There was a lady cleaning them with a blue cleaner. In the back was one toilet that was not so out in the open. But a little old lady ran in front of me and sat down. She must have had the flu because she was murdering that toilet. I waited and when she flushed water came out even running over her legs. So i went next door to another place and in this bathroom there was a party with at least 30 people. I asked an employee if there was a toilet anywhere. He took me to a hidden door and inside the restroom was a used clothing thrift store. To the right was a restroom. I was about to explode in my pants.
The stall door opened to a staircase and had a canvas strap tied to a backpack. I had to put the backpack over random junk to keep the door closed.
As i sit down on the toilet i woke up.
I was in pain i had to go to the bathroom so bad.
I must have peed for 2.5 minutes with a constant and highly pressurised stream. As i laughed about my dream it made the pee stream gain more pressure in sync with my laughter, which made it hurt even more.
|05 Jul 2018||סוניה סוחו||Cut vains|
|27 Jun 2018||Ari||ahogándote con un chicle|
|27 May 2018||Saggy tits in bollywood||Its been so long for an update... me thinks mouchette has killed herself. Someone at last has submitted the best way, and she did it. After all these years. What ever shall we do now? Where shall we go?|
|08 May 2018||Dreams do come true.||I had a bizzare dream the other day. I just took a short 20 minute nap in a chair, but the dream seamed to last for hours. In this dream I was killing myself. The first time I cut my wrists. Real deep down inbetween the bones. I could feel my body getting cold and I felt all the blood left in me draw up into the center of me where all the organs are. They teach this in classes for paramedics. I could literaly feel myself die. But I instantly awoke into another dream. I knew the only way to wake up was to die in the dream. In this dream there was no knife only rope. I tied a slip knot and put around my neck. I tied the other end around the closet rod. I got on my knees and leaned foward. I could feel my face get hot, and then slowly I couldnt see and I got weak. I passed out. Then I awoke in my bed. I was in another dream unable to wake up. This is when an idea came to me. Maybe this time i am not dreaming. Maybe if I kill myself this time it is for real. And I dont wake up and I dont wake up in another dream and I am dead for real. And then I thought the only way to know for sure is go on mouchette.org and submit this story. If it gets posted then I am not dreaming. If it never gets put up then I am still trapped in this dream and so I can put these scissors to good use.|
|18 Apr 2018||Traveling salesman||As a traveling salesman i get sent on assignments that some times are boring, sometimes they are dangerous. But this assignment is probably going to be the death of me. I have to go to china and wear a fork costume. I give away a fork per person i speak with. The chinese are very resistant to the western culture of the fork. They are prefer chop stics. They want me to sell forks in china.|
|15 Apr 2018||101 ways to die everyday||Oh my little suicide enthusiats and hobbyists, why do you fret? Don't you know the weather is becoming more violent and deadly? Don't you know war is coming? Can you not see war brewing on a global scene? The animal rights activists will release all the animals from the zoo and bears lions and tigers will be in every major city with a zoo. The end of the world is coming. You dont need to kill yourself. If you are not burned alive by meteor showers or eaten by a tiger the cannibals will get you. Sink holes. Tsunamis. Cancer from drinking city water. Nuclear winter. Soon millions of dead human remains will be everywhere. A new sickness every few months and now dead body bacterial field. You will die sometime anyway. What's your rush?|
|13 Apr 2018||The great escape||My little fly. Buzzing on my eyelid. Watching on my wall. How i wish you would get 1000 of you friends to grab me and fly me up in the sky, carrying me far away. To my own island in the pacific. We can eat coconuts and crab everyday as we watch the tide roll in.|
|25 Mar 2018||Mortimer Jones||I have been feeling a bit peckish lately. I made my trip to the moon with my backpack rocket boosters. I have all the pictures and videos soon to be up loaded to youtube. When i re-entered earths atmosphere all of my clothes caught fire and 18 seconds later i plunged into the pacific ocean around 300 miles west of Hawaii. I broke my spine in 14 different places and my eyebrows are completely burned off. I look so funny with no eyebrows. I was rescued by a blue whale. He swam under me and pushed me to the surface and brought me here to the hospital in honolulu. I am laying in a hospital bed on the beach sipping pina coladas with a morphine drip i.v. a nurse comes every 6 hours and gives me a sponge bath and a shot. They said i can not do any fishing right now because of my broken back. I even told them the story how i saved an elephant stuck in the mud with my back broken when i was on an expedition for hunting tigers in India. They still dont want me doing any fishing. Any way my dear friends i will heal up and when i can go on another suicidal journey i will keep you posted. This is Mortimer Jones, and good night.|
|19 Mar 2018||Quincy Archabald atURservice||Download the new suicide app. You can keep track of what you did with attempts. So if you swallowed 47 xanex but forgot the dosage per pill and woke up two days later, you can look it up in your suicide app detailed log book. You can even do selfies. Link it up to your facebook, twitter, and google accounts and if your smart device has a heart rate monitor it will automaticly upload your obituary. With time and date stamp. It can even upload a goodbye selfie video to youtube with gps location included so they can find your body. The suicide app is the new modern way for someone in this busy world to stay connected. Right until the very end.|
|12 Mar 2018||black halo||In the desert I saw a creature, naked, bestial, Who, squatting upon the ground, Held his heart in his hands, And ate of it. I said, "Is it good, friend?" "It is bitter bitter", he answered, "But I like it because it is bitter, and because it is my heart."|
|19 Feb 2018||A traveling salesman||Just imagine if in your community there is a road called suicide lane. You could use a gps satellite navigation device and go there every day. And when you get there the gps voice says you have arrived at your destination.|