|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|09 Dec 2004||Nina||I tried to kill myself twice when I was about 11 but my mom kept catching me. I was using just a rag and tieing it so tight around my neck till I would go blue and would hope I'd pass out and just stop breathing. It gave me the worst coughs I sounded like an old smoker. I did this because both my parents were having affairs and it made me sick that while i was crying waiting for them to come home they were out not even thinking about me. I also cut my arms to shreds and have atiny scar on my wrist where I could'nt go through with it. At 16 I develpoed my eating disorder but my mom just thinks im a joke and have no problems. I know im depressed and its not right to miss periods and never stop thinking about food. My dad is also a diabetic and I have to deal with him when he's hyper and I can't deal with it when im only 17. Ive hardly ever had n e friends and I hate the one i do have. Im also being used at my local stabls for no pay 9 to 5 doing everything but I can't stand up for myself and im so tired nowadays. I want people to realise I need help and its no joke.|
|09 Dec 2004||venom cutter||I am seriously thinking about killing my mom and then killing myself. That bitch always stops me or walks in on me and its all her fault I am like this any way. My mom used to make me let her boyfriends molest me and then they would pay her money for it. I hate her. I wish she would just die. Maybe I will help her. I need help. I need thearapy and counseling. I dont know what to do the last time they sent me away they gave me alot of drugs that made me feel real bad like I was sick. My mom made a phone call in the other room today and i think she is going to send me back to the hospital. I am sorry all of you have to listen to my problems but this is the only way I will feel better. Please dont hate me because I am gay and suicidal. If any one that reads this lives in Atlanta and would be my friend please email me.|
|09 Dec 2004||josh edmond||today i took a buch of pills and my mom found out and took me to the hospital and they pumped my stomach before the pills could take effect. i dont have any friends locally to talk to. they all hate me and spit in my face and beat me up. i feel on the inside like i am already dead. my mom knows i am gay and hates me. is there anyone out there like me. please if your out there let me know. i feel like its only a matter of time. i stole some razor blades and i am waiting till my mom goes to sleep tonight and i am going to go in my bathroom and lock the door and slit my throat after i take some more pills and drink some wine.|
|09 Dec 2004||Jennifer||Yep, well, im just another person who wants to commit suicide too. Ive thought about it, and you know, im just such a chicken. I just dont wanna hurt anyone if i do it, my sister, my other sister, and my brotehr. But they wouldnt give a shit anyways you know. No one cares im like the failure sister in the family. I just take up space and make everyone suffer. I wish i was dead. But i dont want to hurt my rents. So, yes im too chicken to do it. I just dont want to hurt them. I thought htat you know, what if i just became a nobody, someone that stalked the streets,...a "Bum" (i know not all bums are bums, some are incredibly smart people). My family wouldnt definately not care if i died then,... But then again im not sure. So you know, just live your life, and if you cant do it, i guess the best way is jump off a bridge. Gun is too messy, cutting yourself just wont work.. If you jump off a high bridge, theres no turning back, you cant fly back up! I reallllly wanna just Die, you know that feeling of just nothingness. I want that, i wish i was never born, now tahts the best way to go around it, just wish you were never born you know.|
|08 Dec 2004||Yuri||I dont know the best way to kill yourself, but i wish i did know how so i can stop searching. This life i live is my suicide. The people in it are my cup of poison. What do i want? I want to live my life. So why cant i? Im still trying to figure that out. Why do i feel this way? Because i have tried every other excuse and finally figured out why. But i cant tell you, and i really want to its just hard and you keep yelling. Just let me leave or kick me out. Its hard to be around you, and when its hard with you its hard with everyone else. I cant go to my friends because they would hate you even more i cant go to my family because they would believe your lies. I thought your purpose of bringing me here was to build up a clear life in this world but all i see are the blurry shadows threw my tears. I love you so much that it hurts to say that i hate you. Just give me my cup of poison so i can just leave this life of pain and depression that you had led me into.|
|07 Dec 2004||candice||HEY MY LIFE IS SHIT!!!!!!!! I KNOW EVERYBODY THINKS THIER LIFE SUCKS BUT MINE SUCKS MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! MY SISTER KICKS MY ASS EVERYDAY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!! SHES 14 SHE PULLS MY HAIR AND ALL THAT SHIT I KNOW SIBBLINGS FIGHT BUT SHE ATTEMPTED TO KILL MY WEN I WAS 2 I WAS IN MY TODDLER BED AND SHE HAD A KNIFE TO MY THROAT SO I SCREAMED FOR MY MOM BUT SHE GOT ONLY "NO TV FOR A DAY"YA RIGHT THATS NOT FAIR AND WEN I SWAER I GET 2 WEEKS GROUNDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BY THE WAY IM ONLY 9 IF I MAKE IT ILL SEND ANOTHER ENTRY
|07 Dec 2004||JOSH EDMOND||HI MY NAME IS JOSH EDMOND. I AM SO SAD BECAUSE I LIKE BOYS AND WHEN I TRY TO KISS THEM THEY BEAT ME UP. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS GAY AND HE CAME OVER TO SPEND THE NIGHT AND MY MOM WALKED IN ON US. I AM SO SAD I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF. I DONT KNOW WHAT I CAN DO. MY MOMMY DOSENT LOVE ME ANY MORE. SHE SAID SHE IS GOING TO SEND ME AWAY TO A MILITARY SCHOOL UNTIL I AM 18 THEN I CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE. SHE DOSENT WANT TO TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE I KILL MYSELF.|
|07 Dec 2004||JOSH EDMOND||HI MY NAME NAME IS JOSH EDMOND. I LIVE IN ATLANTA GEORGIA. I AM CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE FOR A FEW DAYS NOW, YOU SEE I AM A HOMOSEXUAL AND I DONT KNOW WHY. I LIKE OTHER BOYS. I DONT HAVE ANY INTEREST IN GIRLS. ALL MY FRIENDS KEEP BEATING ME UP AND CALLING ME NAMES. IS THIS NORMAL? SOME ONE PLEASE TELL ME I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE OUT THERE LIKE THIS.|
|06 Dec 2004||Jessica||Pills, I overdosed on Pills 9 months ago, I took 19 tylonal PM, Ambian, Night Quil and 7 muscle relaxer pills, after 9 months of therepy and counsling I still want to kill myself, I dont want to tell my cousnlur due to the fact that I dont want to be sent back to the mental institue place I hated it, it was just all about group therepy and the people their are mean well the kids anyways, I dont know I was thinking of telling my counslour but i dont want to be sent away again I dont know what to do, I want to kill myself again and do that exact same thing I did 9 months ago|
|06 Dec 2004||jeff||hey everyone. i am 22 yr old male from NC. I am married but seperated with a 3 yr old son. I have went through alot also getting my divorce, not seing my son, lose of job in nc due to no jobs and going overseas, and everything. i myself do wanna and plan to die soon. i wanna make it to christmas for my son but yet i wont even see him christmas so i dont know if i can. anyways i read everyones post and i am glad people are open on it. my time is now limited and i dont wanna do it but i feel i must to be happy. Anyways alot of you are young and can make better of your life. I myself screwed up my life many yrs ago. anyways everyone take care|
|05 Dec 2004||A.K.B||Ok mouchette what the fuck ive been reading all these fuckin entries and for some reason i think that the dude who called you a dumbass or the biggest fuck of them all is right. I mean what the fuck ive been going all throught this shit just to see if you posted my shit and for some reason. I would have to say thats a big FUCK NO! i think the only reason you do this shit is for you own fucked up pleasure just to see all these people bitching about thier pain. and what do you do? you don't say anything to us. you just sit at your fuckin computer lookin at all of our pain and angry we right. you are the most FUCKED UP FUCK I HAVE EVER MET. you did seem pretty cool at first but then. all these people and their entries. tell me this WHERE THE FUCK IS YOU ENTRIES? Tell me that. i think you are just a fucking coward and a idiot. Yeah thanks for the site but why cant you say anything you fuckin chicken ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
|04 Dec 2004||Elise||I'm not sure of the BEST way to commit...all i know is that if someone doesn't call me (jason) i'm gonna just scream and go drink some turpintine and bleach, take a shit load of pills, raid my dad's booz stash and then attempt to finish my suicide note for the 5 minutes i'll be concious after that....i hate all my fucking friends(not that i have any anymore) and i hate my mother for being so critical, my father for having a giant stick up his ass and my sister for thinking that i envy her low-idealistic-comformist thing that she calls life. i hate everything about this life and i know that where ever the hell we go after death has gotta be better than where i am....jason says he'll follow me if i do; now how stupid is that? don't ruin your life when it's all perfect just cuz your girlfriend disappears(sp). oh no, your lover is gone, what to do? surprisingly, i'm a very loving girlfriend. and would hate to see him upset, but sometimes i want him to follow me. at least i'd have the only person on this earth that i really and truely love, ya know? i mean, screw my family, they don't know me well enough to know if they like me or even love me and vice versa so FUCK them. it's not my fault they didn't pay attention when i was younger and stupid and would've given them half a chance...but that's all gone. i want out. my therapist can kiss my ass because she can't even tell that i feel like shit every second of my life and the only thing that makes this world even remotely better is knowing that i have someone out there who loves me(jason). i hate that everyone says i'm going to hell cuz i'm bi...who cares? hell would be gumdrops and fricken candied shit compared to this!!! i need to just be alone with a big bottle of pills and take them all slowly and feel them eat away at my stomach and internal organs. if jason were here, or listening, he'd be crying by now, but i don't want that. i just want him to understand that i was afraid to die at one point in my life, i honestly was, but now, things changed, maybe i am inbalenced. whatever it was, things changed, and i am ready to welcome death with open arms. people ask me why i cut. hell, it feels good! it's like you are just one step closer to death each time and the more steps you take, the happier you are. i was reading some of the entries on here and realized i'm not the only one that feels so completely out of it and feels like crying and ranting and screaming all the time; every second something goes wrong, every moment some one says no, there's another thing to add to my list. (my reasons to just get it over with.) if attempting suicide wasn't illegal, i would do it in a heart beat. i do want to die, just not this VERY second. this very second, i need the sensation. the feeling of death. the feeling of something that i want more than any other feeling. the pain, the unconcious thoughts, the shortened breath. i want it. i want everything and nothing all at once and it scares me to think that in 5 seconds, i could still be here. and now that that 5 seconds is up, i wish i could've done it right then.......my friends all think i'm bullshitting. i swear, GET A FUCKING CLUE. if you don't believe someone, they'll want to do it more, just to prove it. hey, why do you think i need a therapist, huh? maybe because i'm unstable?!?!? shows how much you know BITCH! if i had to kill myself, i would go to your doorstep with 5 shots of cynide all prepared, shoot 'um, lay down and just dissapear. i could too. you live 3 blocks away, and i have 3 gallons of cynide and bleach in the garage. simple right? but there's still so much i want to expeirience, so much i want to do before. lose my viginity, have a child, get married, fail school for once and have my parents rant for an hour while i just sat back and laughed. something, anything. i just wanna do it all once, cuz i'm gonna die anyways, right? everyone always says "you live once" but you only die once too, (unless you believe in reincarnation, but thats maybe just me) so why not make it something really blow-out fun and fufilling? i mean, you only do it once, and life is boring anyways so why not just bring the whole big waste to a blood-curdling holt? i mean, what's our purpose here anyways? we're born, we live, we die, it sucks. there's nothing here for us, not that there's anything more in death, but there's a chance to start over. just to start new. that's all i want, to start new. i need something to drink, cynide perhaps? i'll ponder that while i wait not-so-patiently for jase to be considerate and call me.......and to think, a year ago, if all this were to come out of my mouth, everyone would've dropped dead in their seats. oh well, it would've done 'em a favor.|
|04 Dec 2004||A.K.B||Hey well, im back and the pills almost worked. I was passed out for a day or two. But then i got sick i was awsome. and hey if think it will work take like a hundred or so. it most likly will work. but thats your say. yo if anyone wants to talk. just add me to you hotmail. and we can chat about shit thats happened in our lives. O and to that one dude i forgot his name just cause some one likes good charlotte. don't mean you got to be a prick.just thaught you should know. and to that nine year old don't fell bad im bitchy and i don't give flying fuck. my sister beats the shit out of me all the time. but that just makes me bitchy'er. you sound like a kick ass person. we should talk some time. my email is email@example.com if anyone wants to talk.|
|04 Dec 2004||Paulo Greer||I want to commit suicide because my life has gotten to the point where living and going thru a bunch of shit all the time is not worth it. People say that you go thru things to make you stronger and that it makes you stronger.....that is a LIE! I've gone thru so much in my 27 years and the only thing that I've learned is that a fucked up situation is just that...(a FUCKED up situation. I have NOT learned anything. If you are not happy in life you should kill yourself!! What are you supposed to do keep praying and wait for a brighter day...yeah right!! When you have waited for the brighter day for 7 years, you begin to understand that the brighter day is not coming. Don't believe that God will save you either! He sure all hell didn't save the millions of other people that committed suicide!! Where is God when you need him? He's sending his word thru some asshole telling you to pray as usual! I don't need prayer I need action. God talks a good game but works in his own time and not in yours!!!!! I figure if he doesnt work in my time when I need him what's the fucking point! I prayed and prayed and still nothing. So I'm done with God and praying it has proven time and time again to be useless. So without God I'm lost and helpless right? Right! So if I'm lost and helpless what is the damn point of living. I'm gay, alone, fat, ugly, a liar, unemployed! What more reason do I need to go on. I know that sooner or later I will commit suicide. I don't think that life is for everybody who has it. I read that taking pills won't work...and that is what I planned on using. Does anyone know what pills and how many will work? When I do this I want to do it right. I live alone so no one will fine me for days. If I cant be happy...I want to die. Someone anyone please tell me what pills to take and how many, so I can be prepared when I'm ready to die. Thanks!!|
|04 Dec 2004||Catalina||Or... the way I am doing it now... Starve yourself. And be sure to cut yourself in many place so you get sick from all the open wounds. So this way... you'll die in pain, and happy knowing you made lots of people happy with your painful, slow, death. (At least... that's my situation) (same as other)|
|04 Dec 2004||Catalina||I'd like to know your IM name if you have one. I'd really like to talk to you on AIM or thorugh e-mail. But my answer to the question, which I've tried... go over your best friends house, and when nobody is home, tell your friend you have a suprise and to close her eyes. Bring this person into the kitchen and take out a knife out of the knife block (or just a big knife) and tell her to hold out her hands. Hold the knife in her hands, tell them to open their eyes, and push the knife in your stomach (or anywhere else) with her hands as well. But you'll have to do it fast, when I did it she stopped me when she heard me reaching for the knife.|
|02 Dec 2004||Ashie||I tried to kill myself twice. As you can guess, it didn't work. I'm only twelve and each day I want to kill myself. Last time, I thought I was going to die. I wanted to die knowing that I was loved by my friends and family. I wrote a note and left it under my pillow thinking that I would wake up dead in my eternity of nothing. It would've been better without me anyways, the only thing I caused was grief. Even if I made a struggle, I'd still fail cause I deserve to drown in my and everyone elses misery. I woke up the next morning, happy to be alive. I wanted to be by my friends and family forever. I wanted to change. LOVE IS A LIE. I tried so hard to be happy, and they, actually one of my friends, someone who I thought was my best friend keeps telling me I'm depressed and that I'm faking the happiness. She thinks that she knows everything and that my pain is the same she went through. Could she ever be so wrong. I just want to be happy until I leave. If I ever act the littlest bit depressed, all my friends are on my back. They betrayed me, they told thier parents. My parents know and they think that it was in the past. I lied to them, I lied to my friends and I lied to myself. I don't deserve life, I don't deserve the perfect life I was given a chance at. I deserve worse hell then the one I'm living. My friends, they say I apologize to much, but I could never be sorry enough. Eveything I do, I regret. I'm never good enough for myself. Everything was going to be perfect but I had to mess it up. I'm worthless. I'm a failure. I try to make friends but I become friends with a person who my other friends hate for no apparent reason. It's just a sign that I'm not meant to have any friends. I still don't know why people can't give others second chances. I must be stupid cause I don't understand. You need to walk in their shoes before you judge them. You only hate the people you don't know. My most important values ever is that you never judge someone. I've been judged, I have been called mental by many people. I'm so misunderstood. I'm so messed up. I just don't want to live any more. is no god, there is no heaven or hell. It's just nothing. That must be better then this. I'm so undeserving of the great friends I have. I never did anything right. I know some people would care if I died. I know I would ruin lives of people I love. But since they "love" me so much, why can't they just let me slip away? I already ruined enough lives, I'm a failure as a friend, daughter and sister. I don't want to keep living with these regrets, my failed dreams. The more I try to save myself the worse I become. I wade in my own misery. And to all the people who think they no me so well, I wish they did know the true me, I can't hide forever. I just want to die so much now, no matter the consequences. I plan on tieing a plastic bag on my head and jumping off my bridge. Ifthe impact doesn't kill me, suffication or drowning in the ice cold water will. Now listen to all that self-pity up there, I'm such a pathetic moron. The sooner I'm dead, the sooner everything will get. I just wanted to help everybody. Why did they have to treat me like this?
It hurts to have people love you, I'd be gone already if it wasn't for that. Things...would be better if I was hated. It just hurts so much. I can't take it anymore, I want to take all my pain away. If there is life after death, I deserve to suffer. I just want to die. Wish me luck on my next attempt.
|01 Dec 2004||Kt||I need some help. My best friend is trying to commit suicide and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I tell a counselor that she will commit suicide. What should I do? I'm so afraid!|
|30 Nov 2004||cat||some would say looking at my last entry i was taking this whole page as a joke but i wasnt and getting emails from the host that are stupid doensnt help emotions. i just found out im pregnant to my ex boyfriend who just dumped me for no reason and opening your inbox to find dickhead msg's in there makes me want to come after the cunt who sent them.|
|27 Nov 2004||KT||I can't answer that... There's no easy answer. I'm 23, I'm engaged, but I have no money. I'm working 11 hours a night, overnight, 5 nights a week, trying to make ends meet. My parents racked up so many bills on credit cards that had my name on them, I don't know if I'll ever get out from under them all.
I'm overdrawn at my bank, because my job misplaced my check this week, and I had to buy gas for my car. My bank's charging me draft fees for being overdrawn. And one of my credit cards wants $550 by the tenth of next month.
I've hated the concept of money since I was 12 or so. "Money" is meaningless. It's a little piece of paper that doesn't represent anything, anymore. People value money more than other peoples' lives, and money, by itself, has no value at all. That's always said something to me about how much some people value others' lives...
I found this site because I'm upset, and have been looking at the blades hanging on my wall from time to time. I don't particularly *want* to commit suicide, but it's so tempting, sometimes... I'm tired of trying so damned hard to get ahead, and never getting anywhere. I'm tired of fighting, and trying, and praying, and only getting shit in return for it all.
What's worst about my situation is that something I hold as so worthless and valueless can have this much impact on my life. I hate my job for letting them have this much control over me. I hate my bank because their actions with my money can make me so upset. Worse, I hate myself for letting myself get so upset over something so worthless. I hate myself for contemplating suicide over money issues, when there are people out there with more legitimate reasons to commit suicide than I have.
My worst problem is over something worthless. That's how I end up feeling as a result.
I'm leaving my e-mail... If anyone wants to just talk, I'm willing to listen... Maybe I'll actually feel like I'm worth something...