Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
08 Oct 2005	J. Piz	Hey. I'm not gonna tell you my name, but I will tell you a bit about me. I am a girl (J. Piz is just kinda a nick name, so if anyone i know happens to read this then maybe someone can help, other nicknames just in case ur not familiar with this one, jacks, jax, jayjay,jackie.)I just recently turned 13. For about a year, I've been feeling extremely depressed, and the weird thing is, sometimes I don't even know why. I guess you can say I'm a bit of a cutter, but it's not too intense. I've got two older twin sisters, who are practicly perfect, and I feel like my parents always want me to be exactly like them, if not better. I don't get why they can't just except me for who I am. I know because of all their expectations and a bit of my own will, I am probably going to either smoke, or be a drug addict or an alchoholic when I grow up... that is if I even do grow up. It is unbelievable how many times I've thought about killing myself, and all the different ways, although I've never actually tried to. But recently, my depression and lack of explaination had gotten so out of hand, that I'm thinking about committing suicide more and more often. I've practically gotten to the point in which I will actually try to kill myself. I agree with the question many of you asked... what will people think when I'm dead, how much will they miss me, will they miss me at all? What would my friends think. If I'm dead I guess I'd be able to see who my true frinds actually are, well i mean were. I wish I could be able to see what it would be like if I died, without actually being dead. (Doesn't almost everybody?) I go to a shrink because of my depresstion and cutting, but I'd never tell her that I might kill myself. Speaking about cutting, here's a story. Once my parents, my two sisters and I were in the car coming back home ( i forgot where from.) When the topic of cutting came up. At that time , nobody knew I was a cutter. Anyway, my sisters had said that people who cut only do it for the attention. BS! What do they know about cutting anyway? I mean, for example, if a person cuts, and doesn't show anyone, then who the hell are they cutting for attention? I would like to show my sisters that for once, they're wrong! I'd like to die, and when I'm dead, I want them to see my arms and all the scars. Sad or not, regaurdless, they'd think,"Oh so she wanted attention." or something along that line. but then they'd read a note that I wrote before my death the read, You might think I cut for attention. One reason you can be sure that I didn't is bacause no one knew about me cutting, so there was no one to give me the attention you think i wanted. You might think I killed myself because I wanted attention, but here's something for you to think about... How the hell would I be able to get attention if I'm DEAD??? Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, back to the real world, away from my fantasy... I want to die, but yet I don't. I think one of the reasons I don't want to die is because I want to be able to experience everything I'm able to do when I'm older. if someone can answer this question that would be great... is it really worth it to be 21 years old? i mean if i'm waiting to kill myself, as hard as it is, and i have to still suffer all the depression, just to make it to the age of 21 where i can have all the rights and privalages, then i want to make sure all those rights and privaligages are actually worth the taurment and pain I'd have to go through just to make it to 21. Please help me out on this question. There are so many problems in my life that i want to figure out that i'd go on for hours, but i won't. Like many people here, there are many songs that discribe my life and the way i feel. I don't want to list them, but i will put up the lyrics to one of my fav. songs and one of the best songs in the world, called Hide and Seek. where are we what the hell is going on the dust has only just begun to fall crop circles in the carpet sinking, feeling spin me round again and rub my eyes this can't be happening when busy streets amess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy hide and seek trains and sewing machines all those years they were here first oily marks appear on walls where pleasure moments hung before the takeover the sweeping insensitivity of this still life hide and seek trains and sewing machines you won't catch me around here blood and tears they were here first hmm, what'd you say that you only meant well well, of course you did hmm what'd you say that its all for the best of course it is hmm what'd you say that its just what we need you decided this hmm what'd you say what did she say? ransom notes keep falling out your mouth mid-sweet talk newspaper word cut-outs speak no feeling no i don't believe you you don't care a bit you don't care a bit hide and seek. My mottos are: 1.eat well, stay fit, be healthy, die anyways. 2. Live life to the fullest. (as in get drunk be on drugs, do whatever floats your boat, even if you wanna be a serial killer, cause you only have one chance to do whatever you want to do. So get it all done before you die.) I guess i go by these mottos. I mean, it's pretty true, you can be in the tip top shape, healthiest, richest person on earth, but your gonna die any ways. You can be the most boring person and think you're haveing a good life, or the most outgoing, outrageous, most fun person and KNOW you're haveing a good life. Why try to get far in life if you know your just gonna die in the end and lose it all. Your gonna find out you worked your ass off for absolutely nothing. (it's all your choice how u live your life) anyway, I want to kill myself. I'm SO depressed i just can't take it anymore! I know i'm gonna kill myself, but i wish someone could see this and stop me. But it's gotten to the point that nothing can stop me now. I've made up my mind. I think I'll wait a week or so to see how things go. I have a week to try to see if things get better. and if not then i guess this is probably good bye. ( I hope someone is listening and getting this message before it's too late.)
05 Oct 2005	Monique	I'm 13 And Already Ive done Drugs Drank have sex I fucking hate my self I'm like The Popluar out going girl that all the guys love but its just I only love one person who doesnt know and I wish I could Die I'm a model and shit but I still Wish I would fuckign die I Feel Usefull I slit my wrists ever dayy about 5 times I'm not scared too die I love the Pain I gett use to it and when the Drips of Blood Runn down my Armm it makes me feel Wonderfull I guess it makes me feel good cause I'm one step away from dying when I was 12 I Got hit by a Car and Was in a Hosbital for a week I almost Died but I guess I was Meant to go on (no one knows how I feel and I know I will Die someday I will Fucking Jump off A Bridge I got a bigg pluse I live right by one ) x0xSexi-Monix0x@hotmail.com -Moniique- Sucidal
05 Oct 2005	Melissa	I'm 14, and I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately. I've always thought about it, even as a small child. I still have a bit of a conscience left in me, so I've decided to wait it out for a few years-I can't leave this place without my rabbit. I'm sorry you, and everyone else wants to kill themselves. I'm sorry for your pain, if you want to talk you can email me at Qtmlissa@yahoo.com I also need someone to talk to, none of my few friends would understand. I'm considering taking a gun to the heart or brain, or pills. I wouldn't want a mess to horrify my family.
04 Oct 2005	TeaRs	I feel so alone all the time, i dont have many irl friends, and i dont talk to them much. People just seem to ignore me, so they wouldnt care if i died, right? I have been thinking about this for some time now, i once tryed to jump out of 8th floor window but couldnt. This time i wont chicken out. I have been depressed all week and i cant find anyone to talk to. Almost anyone, i talked to this girl i met online, shes cool and all. And when i was about to jump she told me not to, but after that she forgot me again. So i ask, why should i live on if everyone forget me in 5seconds? I wonder what will happen if i jump, i hope ill black out before i hit the ground, dont want to feel the pain. I just wish id fade away and seese to exsist. Then i would be finaly out of my misery....
03 Oct 2005	Joanne	I hate life I am always depressed I might wake up in the morning and be happy and then i just become sad and I cry for no reason I just reflect back on my life and feel like shit I have good friends but everyhting they say to me makes me feel depressed even when they say something like you have a bit of dirt on your face so i go to the toilets and cry to myself my family gangs up on me at times and i get blamed for everything I try so hard to stop myself from doing something stupid cause maybe in a few years i will feel better becaus eas i red earlier lots of people have this problem at this age but it hurts and it makes me feel really bad i feel like none loves me everwhere i go i just see hate I dont want to die so i guess i am really looking for advice to help me not do it but this is th eonly website i could find
02 Oct 2005	ela	I can`t live anymore.So if someone knows a way that is quick and doesn`t hurt so musc, please tell me! NOW!
02 Oct 2005	Greg	I don't really want to die, but I can't continue living like this much longer. Man is my lifa a mess, and the fucking anxiety is overwhelming. I have panic attacks and deep depression. Just plagued with hopelessness. What I need is medication. I am experiencing anxiety so severe I can't function. I started seeing a counselor 3 weeks ago, but I cannot find a doctor that I can afford. I'm unemployed and the anxiety is so bad I can't hardly look for a job. I would drive 200 miles in a heartbeat if I could just get an appointment. I've made dozens of phone calls with no luck. I guess I'll just have to scrape up 200 bucks and go see someone. I've been obsessed with suicide for a few months now. I really do hate myself, and this world too. I can only think of 2 acceptable ways of doing suicide so far: 1. Gun in my mouth, which requires buying a gun. If I do this I will go far away and do it deep in the woods somewhere. 2. Just today I thought of this. Take several sleeping pills to ensure a deep sleep, then park my car in an enclosed place. Kick back and read a book until I start dozing, then start the car and leave the engine running. Problem here is I don't know where to park, since I don't have a garage. Slicing my wrists is out of the question I think. Way to gory and messy. I would have to lay there in the bathtub and watch all that blood squirting while I wait to die. I wish I could get my hands on a lethal substance such as arsenic, or potassium cyanide. I need to find a suicide forum. I need some advice on how to do this.
30 Sep 2005	lolly	hi im 13 nd im reli lonely and iv been bullyed ever since school i admit im in the popular crowd in school but dat dosnt help matters these 2 boyz r bullyin me atm nd i can stand it im slittin mi wrists nd if i had the gutz i wuld commite sucide mi friends dont relise how i feel i cover it up to them nd the one i love fukin h8z me what do u do some1 help me plz add me badskoolgirl@hotmail.com
24 Sep 2005	candice	hi its candice ,i havent been on in a long time....well anyway ill get to the point,the csa is involved now, cuz i wanted my friends t leave me house but they would so i took 3 pills 1 hour later they left,and 1 hour n a half later the cops show up at my door they said that they called n i took 12 pills THAT WAS BULL SHIT so now i cant be left alone anymore i fucking hate them all.....I wish everyone will just leave me alone....I cant take it anymore.... anyway i seriously need to talk to someone so anyone want to talk? just add me piro_chicka@hotmail.com
22 Sep 2005	shud i die?	hi everybody,am 18.jus 2day, I had this very desire to finish myself by hanging. I've always wanted to suicide because of familial problem, n even emotional ones..I was abused wen I was very young, yet I forgave that person just to live n let live.Then, everyone I've loved has gone far away from me (death,gone abroad,betrayed). I had a circle of frens, n each n everyone of my frens left me.My sister n brother, whom I luv a lot, left me for abroad...n am alone, here, with my aged parents.I saw many violent sights in my life, due to wich am quite traumatised. My grandma n granpa died...they used to care so much for me...even I was separated from my aunty, who brought me up from birth till I was 9...n then, weneva I had a crush on sum1, my luv or infatuation(woteva) was so reciprocated..n finally, I luvd a guy..we wer together for 3 yrs..we shared so many intimate moments..he was my life, everything to me. He used to be my hope to live...I had so many dreams, but he left me for another gurl, swore at me so much, n put a slur on my character..I was always sincere to everyone. I made mistakes too, but I rectified them. I fell very guilty for havin luvd my bf so much..now that he isnt here, I dunt feel like living. I live with my loneliness, and it's so true that SILENCE IS THE ONLY FRIEND WHO NEVER BETRAYS..that's y, i feel like dying..I have my exams in 1 month, but i cant even revise..I kip on crying..am getting depressed gradually. I wish for death so much..just like u all, I wonder y God hates me so much..I've seen positive sides too, but only wen I was wid my bf..d prob is dat, even if sumday he wants to patch up, I cant accept him, coz he's hurt me verbally a lot..it pains too much.n wen i fink dat the person I had truly luvd so much has left me alone, i cant live..I dunno if there's any good moments ahead, n i dunno if i'll liv to see them. shud I die bkoz my bf has left me?
21 Sep 2005	hemanth	i dont want this life please help me please.i want to dye with out pain .that normal death should like norm,al death.please help me please help me help me
19 Sep 2005	Chloe	I want to kill myself NOW! I'm in love and i dumped my boyfriend for a boy, but now i regret it. My mates h8 me because of it, what is the point in living? I'm 11 and i wanna die. I'm gonna try overdose but if that dont workthen ill stab myself, any peaceful sugestions get back to me!
18 Sep 2005	Katie	When I was 13 I was cutting my wrists and overdosing on pain killers and vodka. I'm now 18 and still cutting. Honestly if you find the best way to die, please let me know. I'm still interested.
16 Sep 2005	Jonathan	I am 38, and I feel that my wife and my kids would be better off without me and with the life insurance $$ than they would be with me aand the way things are now. I really can't take much more. Every day I wish the heart attack would just come already, because I know its coming from the stress anyway
15 Sep 2005	Tai	i am 17 and i want to die. The problem is i am scared of doing and sometime i am not sure.. i am still waiting for life to get better and maybe my parents to take me to a doctor.. but they wont...they dont belive i have problems .. they think its teenage thing.. its not ... my boyfriends of 2 yrs and i are takeing a brake but he still treats me as if he loves me... i am so confused.. since i hav spent so much time with him ... i have lost touch with all my other friends and somehow i cant regain it.. i feel like i cant talk to any body how i feel cuz they would just laugh it off...if u know of a painless and certain way to kill ur self please email me... i am scared of death but i am even more scared to live... cuz life for me will not get better....i have anger problems so i will always push people away from me... and no one will even try to get help for me and i am too young to do anything.....help.. please
15 Sep 2005	lolly	have u ever felt like every1 around you dosnt give a shit about you nd they jst agree wid u nd hug u bt reli dey dont mean fukin any of it dey jst fink ur pafetik nd ugly etc etc well datz wat i feel at the moment nd i h8 it nd i havnt got to the stage of commitin sucide but i mite some1 plz help me or talk 2 me
13 Sep 2005	Amy	I've been cutting since I was in the 7th grade. I would sit in my room crying...and cutting. I never got the never had the curage to Push hard into my arm.. until now. I've come so close..and realized.. that maybe i dont wanna die. I think about what would happen when my heart stops beating, and all the systems in my body shut off. I mean I could get away with it.. like noone would fine me until hours after... but its the feeling that youre letting everyone down..and risking other peoples lives. You may think that if you cut..and die from it..that your friends wont go do the same thing..your wrong. 4 of my friends have been in the hospital for cutting..and i continue to do it. but once you get so far.. you realize, that maybe you have a little left to live for, and that little goes a long way. I got so close tonight.. i thought of all the negative things in my life.. forgetting about those few select positve things in my life. Life will always be hard. There are no short cuts in life.(Thats what my teahcer always says.) As you become a teenager youre gonna hate life.. and suicide isn't the way to go. I mean.. look whos talking, i know.. thats probably what youre saying.. & I know for a fact i will continue to cut. Its the person i've made myself to be. & I've seen friends comitee suicide.. and it hurts everyone around you.. no matter what you say or think. but its become an addiction. I can stop myself 1/3 times...but thats not enough. People say that cutting isn't a form of suicide..and I agreed to that because I didn't want to believe that I may end up committing suicide.. but in the long run it is. I just needed to write to someone other than myself..and i was kinda sick of writing suicide notes.. so yeah
13 Sep 2005	...	i have a question.... my friend slit her wrists once... and now she's having problems at school .. she's stopped slitting, but she still gets dirty looks at school and no one seems to understand .. how can she hide the cuts on her wrists? besides wearing long sleeves...
09 Sep 2005	a person with problems	ummm i found this site looking for a way to kill myself.... and im just so sad and alone, but you have helped me i have read and even emailed a few of you... and id like you to know that you saved my life (at least for another day) i am sitting here at my desk and i have my suicide note here and im just so sad.... so if anyone would take there time out to email me and mabey just talk (over email) it would help so much... im just so fucking alone i have no friends and me and my family have problems (i really think they all hate me) just please... i need to talk
08 Sep 2005	Ray	I am 17 years old ,and I live with my mom. I been in foster care along with my 2 brothers sence I was 4 years old ,because my parents got a devorce. Well, my dad last year tried to commit a murder suicide on his new wife ,because she was trying to screw him out of everything. Now I live with my real mom who is a asshole out the world. She makes me feel as if things were my fualt. She is a complete ass to me because I do things diffently then her. She blames me for being the way she is ,as in the way she looks. I am tired of her blaming me ,and dealing with her crap. I want her to feel my pain. I want her to know it was her fualt I died. I want to let everyone know what she has done to me. She left me and my brothers at someones house and told them to tell the cops she abandoned us so she could put us in foster care. She screwed up my life. I just wanted to know what would be the best way to die and make her feel how I feel. I want her to know she made me do it.

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