What is the best way to commit suicide when you're under 13?

Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?

27 Oct 2006 steve plz help mi some one the person i love is trying to over dose its driving mi to doing it as well please hellp i dont want her (u_no_when_yoov_been_meloned@hotmail.co.uk)my name is steve and i love this girl please help her to stop mi email is xx-steve-luvin-melon-xx@hotmail.co.uk
thanx help before its to late its happenin now

27 Oct 2006 Phoenix I just wanted to make a correction to my previous statement regarding the mixture of ----. First of all it does not release a -------- gas, but instead releases a deadly gas that irritates the lungs, causing them to fill with fluid. In effect causing you to drown.

I imagine that a --- death is similar, whereas your body is deprived of oxygen by the destruction of the red blood cells... Either way you suffocate to death.

I don't know what I believe in as far as god goes, but since I last shared I went through a terrible depression and am feeling quite numb.

The endless drowning in emotional pain has subsided, I feel like I've been given an emotional novacain. I don't know if someone else read my plight and had me in their thoughts, or if just sharing helped to bleed the poison, or if my mind just had enough.

Anyway, I hope that whoever else is looking for answers can find them, or at least the peace of numbness until the pain passes.

DON'T DO DRUGS! Drugs are bad, m'kay..

26 Oct 2006 cory thomas i fink the best way to die is in ur sleep, no lies ders been many times wer i wanted to kill myself bt i cant get the gutts to actualy do it, also i have a girlfriend dat i fink is goin to try an harm her self, bt i dnt want her to i love her so much, bt im torn between dis ,if she ever killed her self i dnt fink id b able to live wid it therfor i fink it wud make it much easier for me, den mayb dat way i cud be wid her for ever

26 Oct 2006 garrett DiVincenzo i am 15 and life is already fucked for me i kno i have no future i kno i have no life ahead of me and its sorta sick but i wanna put a hole throw my head just to see the next world well by wat i have siad so far i bet most of the people that r reading this think i am sick in the the head no i am not wen ur mom disowns u but not ur sisters u got time to think y did she do that i was only 3 i did nothing and wen ur da beats u soo badly wen u fight back he gets a bat then beats u agian wen the cops don't balieve u wen u have to call the emergency room every other night cuz ur not like ur sisters or wen if a teacher calls from school u go 2 weeks with out food or a bed and if u try running away u get cought cuz u got a fucking tracking device implanted in u cuz u decided to run away wen u were only 6. i would never write somthing online this personal or any thing only if one reason if i would kill my self. so in about 5 mins witch is 6:35 10/26/06 i will put a bullet in my head so i say this kids that think they r suicidel well guess wat im doing it in 3 mins so i hope u all don't turn out like me

25 Oct 2006 grace my name is grace and i lost my best friend/bf when i was 12. he just left one day with out a goodbye. it took me forever to move on but i found someone who loved me more than i ever thought that anyone could love me. problem was that i was too wrapped up in my death to see this love. and now its too late. after 11 attempts and at least 9 hopsitalzations im still here. after addictions to e, lsd, pot, painkillers and sleeping pills. i just wait for a slow death from a destroyed liver. ive fought through a broken family, a broken heart, three major addictions, four car crashes, eleven attempts, nine hospitalizations and an eating disorder. why isnt god letting me just die?

25 Oct 2006 Danni Ello ive tried 2 kill miself by taking an overdose. i find life really hard i have been bullied all my life and noone really likes me. No1 seems 2 understand that i dnt want to live... i h8 life. y iz it evry1 iz 2 faced and stabs you in the back. i feel like i cant trust any1 please help me x

25 Oct 2006 colette im not under 13, but i am suicidal... Have been for a very long time. If i can remember correctly it started when i was 9. Reason is being molested by those who should have loved me. i truely hate myself. im 27 now. ive been raped as well. ive seen 5 or 6 shrinks in my lifetime. Therapy doesnt work. i cant talk. i just wish that i was dead... that i could die as quickly as possible. ive tried to kill mysell so many times. i cut myself a lot. i want to fucking die!!!

23 Oct 2006 Jacob My name is Jacob. I have been depressed with suicidal thoughts for 4 and a half years. im 14, 15 on the 18th of april. if you want me to give you some advice just email me - hopy56@comcast.net

22 Oct 2006 Phoenix Hello. I've read a few of the plights here, and as I sit here typing with tears in my eyes and heaviness in my heart for the pain I see in [all of] your words here, I hope that I have some thing to share that will help you find strength to go one more day.

I've alot to say, and I'll answer the question the best as I can, but I must first beg you to find your passion in life. You have one, we all do, for me its dancing.

I'm a 37 y.o. gay male that has been living with HIV/AIDS since 12, when I was raped, beaten and left for dead in the desert. I was raised by Jehovah Witness mother and step-father, both of who either hated or dispised my existence in thier secret hearts.

I could never tell them what happened, just as I couldn't tell my mother I was molested by my foster parents when I was 3. My parents thought I had ran away for a few days and came home bruised and broken from the wicked world out there. To this day, they are still clueless to the events of the rape.

I knew I was infected, the asshole told me he infected me, and even if I were to live, I was going to die of AIDS. I hid this from my parents, and I don't think they even know today.

I eventually escaped their controlling abusive behavior; I haven't seen them for nearly 20 years now. I've spent most of my life praying and begging w/ all my heart, all my soul, to die. I admit, there are times the dark clouds disappate and life goes on, but those times are becoming more and more scarce and last even less time.

I have recently lost all my friends, the truth is if I died right now, the only person to know would be my landlord. I've also just recently lost the only person who ever treated me with any respect and love, when I realized he was ignorant of my HIV status. I told him, knowing I would loose him, and haven't heard from him since. I love him, I have hurt so many people in my life (either through my short experiment with drugs, or the way I've treated the ones I love), never meaning to hurt, or harm anyone, just trying to live life like everyone else.

It seems I'm cursed to have nothing, and live in perpetual, never-ending remorse, shame and self-loathing. I cannot imagine loathing myself any more then what I do.

I was a short term (1 year) tweeker, and in that time lost all my self built friends/family that mean the world to me (Thomas S, Tommy S, Tony M, Gena M, Tracy A, Tim O, and all the rest). I lost my car, my savings and everything I owned to my tweeker boyfriend during that time who tried to kill me 9 times and failed. I didn't really mind, I wanted (still want) to die.

I've lost any and all chance of ever being able to be a dancer. This hurts as much as anything else, for dancing is my sole. I hear music in my dreams, I dance myself out of bed in my sleep, I dance through the grocery store, in line and on the street. Music is the only thing that possesses me and drowns out the pain, suffering and torment I live with.

But now, my grief and guilt over the misunderstanding of my HIV status drowns out everything else and I can't bear to laugh. I have to drone out the overwhelming self-hatred and pain with anything that can occupy my mind.

That only lasts so long, for as soon as I have to sleep, or am given a single moment of a happier state of mind, instantly I remind myself of the possibilities that await the guy I love, and my part in it.

Although he never asked, I never volunteered. I assumed he knew, everyone knows, I don't keep it a secret. I should've made sure he knew, but you know what kind of mood breaker that is even if he did know.

Anyway, I now realize that I have nothing left in life. I have never really had anyone (not even mother or father) love me (although I have had a alot of guys chase me), I have no friends, no job (too sick off and on to hold one down), no money (still waiting endlessly for SSDI to approve my application for assistance), no future (I've been HIV postive for over 20 year and full blown AIDS since 2001 - my cd4 fluctuates around 45), no hope, no prospects, no chances and lastly no more chances to dance.

I think the easiest and possibly a painful way of dying is with home-made cyanide (bleach and ammonia). The vapors are extremely poisonous cyanide. Cyanide has no chance of survival. It is a free radical that destroys red blood cells.

A free radical means that there is nothing that will react with it to nuetralize its effects, in other words, once introduced into the human body, if not removed (if introduced cutaneously, it could be cut out instantly) it will continue to destroy your red blood cells until there were non left.

You would die of metalbolic failure, cell death, suffocation... I believe this method would be quite painful as you would quickly die in a cell by cell death. However I don't know if it would be painful or if the release of death would be worth it.

DO NOT attempt blowing your brains out with a gun. You can live through it if you don't do it right. For example, a little known fact of Kurt Cobain's suicide, he had to blow his head off twice.

The first time, he missed and blew half his head off, passed out, and came to realizing his error. With half a head he finished the job.

One of my lost friends/roommates was a ICU Nurse for over 20 years and told me of some of her patients who attempted suicide with a gun and only blew out their spinal column and lived. Forever condemned to a life as a quad, never being able to end it, forever hooked up to machines keeping them alive against their desires.

Pills, if you try and fail, too many things can go wrong. Someone may find out, if you live and they know, your life as it is, gets worse 10 fold. Even if noone finds out of the failed attempt, the subsequent side-effects can have permanent effects such as:
-Dependancy
-Toxicity (causing organ death/failure) try living w/ a colostomy bag hanging out your ass, or hooked up to a dialysis machine (not that I can imagine an overdose failure ending in a colostomy bag, but...)
-Brain Damage (hey, this might solve the suicidal behavior, a do-it-yourself lombotomy)
-Paralysis

All of these will end w/ someone knowing of your failed attempt; and although it might get you help (probably just a lot of psycho-bable bs) you'll be forever classified a 51/50 and if you ever overcome the suicidal times of your life, you'll always be labled mentally ill.

Jumping off a building/high place... U want your remains to be roadkill? If you don't care about that, do you want to live through that and be like the poor bastard who tried to blow his brains out and failed, forever consigned as a quad?

Try the noose, and if you fail, you can have a tell-tale scare around your neck. Or, if your lucky to break your neck but unlucky and live... again a quad.

Face it. The fact is we are meant to be tortured and tormented. Why play into it, why make it stronger. Why make it worse. Life sucks and will find a way to SCREW you over every time, and if you try to beat life, I fear a guarantee that it will rise up and really make things worse.

I know how stupid that sounds, but think about it. If it wasn't true, why are you reading this, why are you so miserable. Your reading this, your at this page because your spirit longs to be free of this mortal coil, this hell; and you KNOW life hates you, and does anything it can to make your life miserable.

Anyway, like the 31 yo w/ wife and kids (for your kids my heart dies, because of your pain and where I fear you will end up; for you my hear bleeds, your pain is unjust; and for your wife my heart hates, her apathy and attitude are tantamount to murder) I have muscle relaxers, and a few months worth of HIV cocktail that I plan on o/ding on. I've tried these last 20 years to not take any meds hoping to die quicker, but I'm just unlucky and am one of those doomed to live with it, forever sick.

I don't know when I will finally finish this, I know there is still something left undone, something I have to do. I just hope I have done it by writing here, passing along some tidbits of knowledge that may help others.

Anyway, feel free to post my email, or edit my message for content or length as you see fit. Anyone who responds to my email address while I still persevere I will attempt to answer.

Anyway, blessed be all. ONA and Sigma Pi forever

Phoenix
Delta: Duke of Hurl of the Eta Iota Chapter

18 Oct 2006 Emily Hope Help please! I'm only 11 years old and my brother rapes me. My Dad stabs me and they're both drunks! ive tryed cutting myself but they just got the idea i like the pain they're giving me so they do it more and more now.I've tryed to run away. I found my sister that way, but my brother found me, so ive been thinking about suicide latly, but i dont want to. I want to someday meet someone and fall in love. but thats probally never going to happen. and I dont want to call child serveses again. I dont want a diffrent family...i love this one...please help..

17 Oct 2006 Rae Hey my name is Rae. i'm 18 years old. i tried commiting sucide several times. here are some nifty ideas. you could stop eating for 3 days and stop drinking water too. that will kill you. you could cut your wrists and you can die that way. or give your self a thousand paper cuts. any way possible i'm gonna be dead i hate life and it sucks.

17 Oct 2006 sara hey ive had a terrible life i hate it and thats all i can say im 14 and dont feel it can get any better but alot worse! my familt gives me everything i want and need but i am always depressed i feel like takin my life but just dont have the guts to do it. thinkin about my family if i was dead and how they feel makes me feel so bad for them. i had to go to a counciller when i was 12 as i dreamed about things a 12 year old shouldnt dream about such as my parents dying it was realy hard for me when i woke up cryin! also school is the worst times for me ive moved schools alot and just cant take it my secondary school i got bullied alot and its not like i cant stick up for my self its just im not the type of person that likes school and i left that school a couple of months ago as it got to much and had to move in with my dad leaving 3 sisters and one brother and mum and a step dad which was hard as ive never left them before expecially my mum as ive been with her all my life! its was very hard leaving my 4 year old sister and 2 year old brother as im realy close to them i finally settled down but had to get a new school i now do have a new one and im hating it as its a new school making new friends and its just not working people in year 10 seem to have their own friends own groups and so on i dont no wot to do and at this point in my life im thinkin about commiting suicide ive already cut my wrist and wrote death letters i dont no wot else to do please help im desperite!

16 Oct 2006 Binaya Neupane I have been through severe depression and frustation since one year? I want to get rid of this bladdy and miserable life.

15 Oct 2006 Tania don't do it , i'm 13 i tried it , first by beconming so bulemic i threw up blood then by cutting myself , get help , fall in love . i need help myself so if any of you want to get a friend who has had a life that you couldn't possibly imagine both good and bad . write me . i grew up as a missionary to china with my parents there my life was really fucked up but ya know it can be worse and that is a thing that you can dwell on and it will help but please contact me if you need help

14 Oct 2006 ASHLEE HI I AM ASHLEE AND ALL MY FAMILY IS DEAD THEY GOT KILLED IN FRONT OF ME WHEN I WAS 7 YEARS OLD AND EVERY DAY IT FLASHES BACK AND I SEE IT I HAVE TRIED TO KILL MY SELF LIKE 5 TIMES EVERYDAY I CANT STOP AND IT THE ONLY WAY I CAN BE WITH THEM I HAVE NO FAMILY AND EVERYONE LOVES ME COZ IM POPULAR AND EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS BLAMED ON ME I GET SO MUCH SHIT FROM PEOPLE IT IS NOT FUNNY I HATE EVERYTHING AND I GET JUGED EVERYDAY COZ IM EMO BUT I AM STILL POPULAR AND I DONT SEE 1 REASON THAT WILL MAKE ME NOT WANT TO KILL MY SELF AND I AM IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND JIAH BUT HE DOESNT LIKE ME IN THAT WAY AND HE MKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT COZ HE IS SO PERFICT AND I WILL NEVER BE WITH HIM UT I JUST WANT TO DIE !!!!!!!!! if anyone has a reason for me to stay alive heres me msn addy kiitycat_69@hotmail.com

13 Oct 2006 Grim well my life sucks and it still does!yeh I'm a disasterpiece ..yey ! wll i tried to commit suicide 4 times now...once when i was 10 the second when i was 12 the third when i was 14 and the last was 12 days ago (coma) whell i tried drug overdose the first and las times and jumping in front of a car ...damn thease new break tipe
i see no reason to not commitin suicide (4 me that is) i hate miself ... i mean no female interest no friends i'm beeing treated like a gost ... don't commit suicide ... it's not worth it ( but i still would)

12 Oct 2006 its me mom. you know who i am right? hello everyone.
i am writing this to say that i have decided to be pro-choice. yes i am going to end my life. i feel that no matter what i do it is just not worth it. uneventful. boring. and everyone is so selfish. i dont see the point in anything. it is like a gloomy cloud in my head. i mean i dont have problems like you people. i have what would be considered a good life. but its all so annoying and pointless. it doesnt really matter. soon i wont have to think about it anymore.

10 Oct 2006 mady no one loves me. no one even likes me. not my family or no one. i just want to die.

10 Oct 2006 Alex Hi everyone!
I recently lost my job at a multinational company here in the UK. Since then I've ben struggling to find a job. The usual responses that I get is good qualifications but we decided to go withj others. Lately I've been having thoughts about ending my life as the torchure of being unemployed has hit for the second time in my life!! I am so embarassed to go out and see people, or ex-colleagues. I tried everything i came so close to get a job with Unilever but they chose the other person! I am really disappointed and frustrated with my life!

10 Oct 2006 Levi help me!!!

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Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
27 Oct 2006	steve	plz help mi some one the person i love is trying to over dose its driving mi to doing it as well please hellp i dont want her (u_no_when_yoov_been_meloned@hotmail.co.uk)my name is steve and i love this girl please help her to stop mi email is xx-steve-luvin-melon-xx@hotmail.co.uk thanx help before its to late its happenin now
27 Oct 2006	Phoenix	I just wanted to make a correction to my previous statement regarding the mixture of ----. First of all it does not release a -------- gas, but instead releases a deadly gas that irritates the lungs, causing them to fill with fluid. In effect causing you to drown. I imagine that a --- death is similar, whereas your body is deprived of oxygen by the destruction of the red blood cells... Either way you suffocate to death. I don't know what I believe in as far as god goes, but since I last shared I went through a terrible depression and am feeling quite numb. The endless drowning in emotional pain has subsided, I feel like I've been given an emotional novacain. I don't know if someone else read my plight and had me in their thoughts, or if just sharing helped to bleed the poison, or if my mind just had enough. Anyway, I hope that whoever else is looking for answers can find them, or at least the peace of numbness until the pain passes. DON'T DO DRUGS! Drugs are bad, m'kay..
26 Oct 2006	cory thomas	i fink the best way to die is in ur sleep, no lies ders been many times wer i wanted to kill myself bt i cant get the gutts to actualy do it, also i have a girlfriend dat i fink is goin to try an harm her self, bt i dnt want her to i love her so much, bt im torn between dis ,if she ever killed her self i dnt fink id b able to live wid it therfor i fink it wud make it much easier for me, den mayb dat way i cud be wid her for ever
26 Oct 2006	garrett DiVincenzo	i am 15 and life is already fucked for me i kno i have no future i kno i have no life ahead of me and its sorta sick but i wanna put a hole throw my head just to see the next world well by wat i have siad so far i bet most of the people that r reading this think i am sick in the the head no i am not wen ur mom disowns u but not ur sisters u got time to think y did she do that i was only 3 i did nothing and wen ur da beats u soo badly wen u fight back he gets a bat then beats u agian wen the cops don't balieve u wen u have to call the emergency room every other night cuz ur not like ur sisters or wen if a teacher calls from school u go 2 weeks with out food or a bed and if u try running away u get cought cuz u got a fucking tracking device implanted in u cuz u decided to run away wen u were only 6. i would never write somthing online this personal or any thing only if one reason if i would kill my self. so in about 5 mins witch is 6:35 10/26/06 i will put a bullet in my head so i say this kids that think they r suicidel well guess wat im doing it in 3 mins so i hope u all don't turn out like me
25 Oct 2006	grace	my name is grace and i lost my best friend/bf when i was 12. he just left one day with out a goodbye. it took me forever to move on but i found someone who loved me more than i ever thought that anyone could love me. problem was that i was too wrapped up in my death to see this love. and now its too late. after 11 attempts and at least 9 hopsitalzations im still here. after addictions to e, lsd, pot, painkillers and sleeping pills. i just wait for a slow death from a destroyed liver. ive fought through a broken family, a broken heart, three major addictions, four car crashes, eleven attempts, nine hospitalizations and an eating disorder. why isnt god letting me just die?
25 Oct 2006	Danni	Ello ive tried 2 kill miself by taking an overdose. i find life really hard i have been bullied all my life and noone really likes me. No1 seems 2 understand that i dnt want to live... i h8 life. y iz it evry1 iz 2 faced and stabs you in the back. i feel like i cant trust any1 please help me x
25 Oct 2006	colette	im not under 13, but i am suicidal... Have been for a very long time. If i can remember correctly it started when i was 9. Reason is being molested by those who should have loved me. i truely hate myself. im 27 now. ive been raped as well. ive seen 5 or 6 shrinks in my lifetime. Therapy doesnt work. i cant talk. i just wish that i was dead... that i could die as quickly as possible. ive tried to kill mysell so many times. i cut myself a lot. i want to fucking die!!!
23 Oct 2006	Jacob	My name is Jacob. I have been depressed with suicidal thoughts for 4 and a half years. im 14, 15 on the 18th of april. if you want me to give you some advice just email me - hopy56@comcast.net
22 Oct 2006	Phoenix	Hello. I've read a few of the plights here, and as I sit here typing with tears in my eyes and heaviness in my heart for the pain I see in [all of] your words here, I hope that I have some thing to share that will help you find strength to go one more day. I've alot to say, and I'll answer the question the best as I can, but I must first beg you to find your passion in life. You have one, we all do, for me its dancing. I'm a 37 y.o. gay male that has been living with HIV/AIDS since 12, when I was raped, beaten and left for dead in the desert. I was raised by Jehovah Witness mother and step-father, both of who either hated or dispised my existence in thier secret hearts. I could never tell them what happened, just as I couldn't tell my mother I was molested by my foster parents when I was 3. My parents thought I had ran away for a few days and came home bruised and broken from the wicked world out there. To this day, they are still clueless to the events of the rape. I knew I was infected, the asshole told me he infected me, and even if I were to live, I was going to die of AIDS. I hid this from my parents, and I don't think they even know today. I eventually escaped their controlling abusive behavior; I haven't seen them for nearly 20 years now. I've spent most of my life praying and begging w/ all my heart, all my soul, to die. I admit, there are times the dark clouds disappate and life goes on, but those times are becoming more and more scarce and last even less time. I have recently lost all my friends, the truth is if I died right now, the only person to know would be my landlord. I've also just recently lost the only person who ever treated me with any respect and love, when I realized he was ignorant of my HIV status. I told him, knowing I would loose him, and haven't heard from him since. I love him, I have hurt so many people in my life (either through my short experiment with drugs, or the way I've treated the ones I love), never meaning to hurt, or harm anyone, just trying to live life like everyone else. It seems I'm cursed to have nothing, and live in perpetual, never-ending remorse, shame and self-loathing. I cannot imagine loathing myself any more then what I do. I was a short term (1 year) tweeker, and in that time lost all my self built friends/family that mean the world to me (Thomas S, Tommy S, Tony M, Gena M, Tracy A, Tim O, and all the rest). I lost my car, my savings and everything I owned to my tweeker boyfriend during that time who tried to kill me 9 times and failed. I didn't really mind, I wanted (still want) to die. I've lost any and all chance of ever being able to be a dancer. This hurts as much as anything else, for dancing is my sole. I hear music in my dreams, I dance myself out of bed in my sleep, I dance through the grocery store, in line and on the street. Music is the only thing that possesses me and drowns out the pain, suffering and torment I live with. But now, my grief and guilt over the misunderstanding of my HIV status drowns out everything else and I can't bear to laugh. I have to drone out the overwhelming self-hatred and pain with anything that can occupy my mind. That only lasts so long, for as soon as I have to sleep, or am given a single moment of a happier state of mind, instantly I remind myself of the possibilities that await the guy I love, and my part in it. Although he never asked, I never volunteered. I assumed he knew, everyone knows, I don't keep it a secret. I should've made sure he knew, but you know what kind of mood breaker that is even if he did know. Anyway, I now realize that I have nothing left in life. I have never really had anyone (not even mother or father) love me (although I have had a alot of guys chase me), I have no friends, no job (too sick off and on to hold one down), no money (still waiting endlessly for SSDI to approve my application for assistance), no future (I've been HIV postive for over 20 year and full blown AIDS since 2001 - my cd4 fluctuates around 45), no hope, no prospects, no chances and lastly no more chances to dance. I think the easiest and possibly a painful way of dying is with home-made cyanide (bleach and ammonia). The vapors are extremely poisonous cyanide. Cyanide has no chance of survival. It is a free radical that destroys red blood cells. A free radical means that there is nothing that will react with it to nuetralize its effects, in other words, once introduced into the human body, if not removed (if introduced cutaneously, it could be cut out instantly) it will continue to destroy your red blood cells until there were non left. You would die of metalbolic failure, cell death, suffocation... I believe this method would be quite painful as you would quickly die in a cell by cell death. However I don't know if it would be painful or if the release of death would be worth it. DO NOT attempt blowing your brains out with a gun. You can live through it if you don't do it right. For example, a little known fact of Kurt Cobain's suicide, he had to blow his head off twice. The first time, he missed and blew half his head off, passed out, and came to realizing his error. With half a head he finished the job. One of my lost friends/roommates was a ICU Nurse for over 20 years and told me of some of her patients who attempted suicide with a gun and only blew out their spinal column and lived. Forever condemned to a life as a quad, never being able to end it, forever hooked up to machines keeping them alive against their desires. Pills, if you try and fail, too many things can go wrong. Someone may find out, if you live and they know, your life as it is, gets worse 10 fold. Even if noone finds out of the failed attempt, the subsequent side-effects can have permanent effects such as: -Dependancy -Toxicity (causing organ death/failure) try living w/ a colostomy bag hanging out your ass, or hooked up to a dialysis machine (not that I can imagine an overdose failure ending in a colostomy bag, but...) -Brain Damage (hey, this might solve the suicidal behavior, a do-it-yourself lombotomy) -Paralysis All of these will end w/ someone knowing of your failed attempt; and although it might get you help (probably just a lot of psycho-bable bs) you'll be forever classified a 51/50 and if you ever overcome the suicidal times of your life, you'll always be labled mentally ill. Jumping off a building/high place... U want your remains to be roadkill? If you don't care about that, do you want to live through that and be like the poor bastard who tried to blow his brains out and failed, forever consigned as a quad? Try the noose, and if you fail, you can have a tell-tale scare around your neck. Or, if your lucky to break your neck but unlucky and live... again a quad. Face it. The fact is we are meant to be tortured and tormented. Why play into it, why make it stronger. Why make it worse. Life sucks and will find a way to SCREW you over every time, and if you try to beat life, I fear a guarantee that it will rise up and really make things worse. I know how stupid that sounds, but think about it. If it wasn't true, why are you reading this, why are you so miserable. Your reading this, your at this page because your spirit longs to be free of this mortal coil, this hell; and you KNOW life hates you, and does anything it can to make your life miserable. Anyway, like the 31 yo w/ wife and kids (for your kids my heart dies, because of your pain and where I fear you will end up; for you my hear bleeds, your pain is unjust; and for your wife my heart hates, her apathy and attitude are tantamount to murder) I have muscle relaxers, and a few months worth of HIV cocktail that I plan on o/ding on. I've tried these last 20 years to not take any meds hoping to die quicker, but I'm just unlucky and am one of those doomed to live with it, forever sick. I don't know when I will finally finish this, I know there is still something left undone, something I have to do. I just hope I have done it by writing here, passing along some tidbits of knowledge that may help others. Anyway, feel free to post my email, or edit my message for content or length as you see fit. Anyone who responds to my email address while I still persevere I will attempt to answer. Anyway, blessed be all. ONA and Sigma Pi forever Phoenix Delta: Duke of Hurl of the Eta Iota Chapter
18 Oct 2006	Emily Hope	Help please! I'm only 11 years old and my brother rapes me. My Dad stabs me and they're both drunks! ive tryed cutting myself but they just got the idea i like the pain they're giving me so they do it more and more now.I've tryed to run away. I found my sister that way, but my brother found me, so ive been thinking about suicide latly, but i dont want to. I want to someday meet someone and fall in love. but thats probally never going to happen. and I dont want to call child serveses again. I dont want a diffrent family...i love this one...please help..
17 Oct 2006	Rae	Hey my name is Rae. i'm 18 years old. i tried commiting sucide several times. here are some nifty ideas. you could stop eating for 3 days and stop drinking water too. that will kill you. you could cut your wrists and you can die that way. or give your self a thousand paper cuts. any way possible i'm gonna be dead i hate life and it sucks.
17 Oct 2006	sara	hey ive had a terrible life i hate it and thats all i can say im 14 and dont feel it can get any better but alot worse! my familt gives me everything i want and need but i am always depressed i feel like takin my life but just dont have the guts to do it. thinkin about my family if i was dead and how they feel makes me feel so bad for them. i had to go to a counciller when i was 12 as i dreamed about things a 12 year old shouldnt dream about such as my parents dying it was realy hard for me when i woke up cryin! also school is the worst times for me ive moved schools alot and just cant take it my secondary school i got bullied alot and its not like i cant stick up for my self its just im not the type of person that likes school and i left that school a couple of months ago as it got to much and had to move in with my dad leaving 3 sisters and one brother and mum and a step dad which was hard as ive never left them before expecially my mum as ive been with her all my life! its was very hard leaving my 4 year old sister and 2 year old brother as im realy close to them i finally settled down but had to get a new school i now do have a new one and im hating it as its a new school making new friends and its just not working people in year 10 seem to have their own friends own groups and so on i dont no wot to do and at this point in my life im thinkin about commiting suicide ive already cut my wrist and wrote death letters i dont no wot else to do please help im desperite!
16 Oct 2006	Binaya Neupane	I have been through severe depression and frustation since one year? I want to get rid of this bladdy and miserable life.
15 Oct 2006	Tania	don't do it , i'm 13 i tried it , first by beconming so bulemic i threw up blood then by cutting myself , get help , fall in love . i need help myself so if any of you want to get a friend who has had a life that you couldn't possibly imagine both good and bad . write me . i grew up as a missionary to china with my parents there my life was really fucked up but ya know it can be worse and that is a thing that you can dwell on and it will help but please contact me if you need help
14 Oct 2006	ASHLEE	HI I AM ASHLEE AND ALL MY FAMILY IS DEAD THEY GOT KILLED IN FRONT OF ME WHEN I WAS 7 YEARS OLD AND EVERY DAY IT FLASHES BACK AND I SEE IT I HAVE TRIED TO KILL MY SELF LIKE 5 TIMES EVERYDAY I CANT STOP AND IT THE ONLY WAY I CAN BE WITH THEM I HAVE NO FAMILY AND EVERYONE LOVES ME COZ IM POPULAR AND EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS BLAMED ON ME I GET SO MUCH SHIT FROM PEOPLE IT IS NOT FUNNY I HATE EVERYTHING AND I GET JUGED EVERYDAY COZ IM EMO BUT I AM STILL POPULAR AND I DONT SEE 1 REASON THAT WILL MAKE ME NOT WANT TO KILL MY SELF AND I AM IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND JIAH BUT HE DOESNT LIKE ME IN THAT WAY AND HE MKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT COZ HE IS SO PERFICT AND I WILL NEVER BE WITH HIM UT I JUST WANT TO DIE !!!!!!!!! if anyone has a reason for me to stay alive heres me msn addy kiitycat_69@hotmail.com
13 Oct 2006	Grim	well my life sucks and it still does!yeh I'm a disasterpiece ..yey ! wll i tried to commit suicide 4 times now...once when i was 10 the second when i was 12 the third when i was 14 and the last was 12 days ago (coma) whell i tried drug overdose the first and las times and jumping in front of a car ...damn thease new break tipe i see no reason to not commitin suicide (4 me that is) i hate miself ... i mean no female interest no friends i'm beeing treated like a gost ... don't commit suicide ... it's not worth it ( but i still would)
12 Oct 2006	its me mom. you know who i am right?	hello everyone. i am writing this to say that i have decided to be pro-choice. yes i am going to end my life. i feel that no matter what i do it is just not worth it. uneventful. boring. and everyone is so selfish. i dont see the point in anything. it is like a gloomy cloud in my head. i mean i dont have problems like you people. i have what would be considered a good life. but its all so annoying and pointless. it doesnt really matter. soon i wont have to think about it anymore.
10 Oct 2006	mady	no one loves me. no one even likes me. not my family or no one. i just want to die.
10 Oct 2006	Alex	Hi everyone! I recently lost my job at a multinational company here in the UK. Since then I've ben struggling to find a job. The usual responses that I get is good qualifications but we decided to go withj others. Lately I've been having thoughts about ending my life as the torchure of being unemployed has hit for the second time in my life!! I am so embarassed to go out and see people, or ex-colleagues. I tried everything i came so close to get a job with Unilever but they chose the other person! I am really disappointed and frustrated with my life!
10 Oct 2006	Levi	help me!!!