Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
21 Dec 2007	Benjamin Wolf	Hello, I'm Ben, 15 year old, am english but live in switzerland. I've tried killing myself at 13 years old, and at 14, by hanging myself, never worked out because i couldn't make a knot...stupid. This summer, i got bad grades everywhere, and lost all my friends because of drugs and sexual orientation. Even my dad, and my mom, who used to tell me they loved me so much, told me in a restaurant, in front of my little brother, than in my 15 years of life, i have never proved that i was capable of something, which i realised was true. I want to try again, but i keep resisting because i know i still have a life in front of me, but what can i do?
17 Dec 2007	andrew	well im 23 and life is not getting any easier. im in debt, im not in college anymore, i have a dead end job. my family really dont listen to me, im going no where fast, and all i can think about is damn, it would be so easy to just make it all stop. i want to so bad too, i fell bad, i have twin brother, and an older sister. i feel bad for what they just might think and feel, but why does it have to take me ending my life for them to notice me? i wish i had an easy answer! i wish i was smarter. why would you kill yourself under 13 you havent even lived life yet. but im 23 and it doesnt get easier, as we all know everything gets harder. im sorry for those reading this, i know it makes little sense. i dont have a perfect life, i can never achieve(sp?) any of the goals i really want to, because deep down i feel like a no talent, a loser. i have nothing, just debt building up against me and my loved one. i just wish this message was clear! I NEED HELP!
17 Dec 2007	J. Campbell	I first wanted to kill myself when I was 16. I got through high school because of my emotional disturbed girlfriend and lots of drugs. When I started college everything felt really good, I was out of my old town, away from all of the people that I knew. A few months here and I have fallen back into my old habits. No amount of drugs or alcohol can save me from my thoughts of failure. I am tortured by life but scared to end it. I waste my days sitting, wishing that the clock would move faster. I want all of this to end, but I'm petrified by my fears. The earth is so vast and so old. I am so small and my time on it is short. However I'm beginning to think that I should make the best of it. The earth is 4.5 billion years old, I'm 18 and I'll probably only live to see 73. It will all be over soon enough. cowcampjohn@hotmail.com
13 Dec 2007	Serra	Hi... I'm Serra and I am currently 12 (I know Im young plz dont bother me with it). My life is going blue. Idk y n idk how but I'm scared of going home from school because my mom will be there and start screaming. I never want to come home. I want to die but I'm too scared. I dont want to end up not dying and being disabled. Idc about the humiliation since there is none. I want to die. My life is a mess and I cant take it. I wake up at night randomly to cry and sometimes I want to cry but I cant. I feel I dont deserve to be in this world and I am n ot needed at all. Plz someone help I cannot take it. I fear that when waiting to be stronger, something is going to happen to make it worse. I want to get help. But Im scared of the reaction my parents will give me if I randomly come up and say I wanted to see a professional. I dont know what to do.
13 Dec 2007	Taylor	i found this site after googleing "how to kill yourself". im 21 and like all people i have had thoughts of suicide. my best friend died in october of a heroin overdose...i didn't even know he was using such things. the worst part is his life could of probably been saved- he started convulsing and the people he was with freaked out, took their stuff and left him. lets see, on top of that my sister has run away, my aunt was diagnosed with cancer, my grandfather's retnas completly detached from his eyes so he is now blind and i watch my mother get worse and worse in her miseries each passing day. this all happened within a couple months. my body has been unable to handle all the stress and i know have stomach ulcers that make it so i can't keep any food down and its very painful. i'm so sad that it hurts...everywhere...mind body sould whatever. i randomly break down for no reason during the day...i'll be fine and shopping for groceries and the next thing i know i'm drivin to my knees from crying so hard. i've read these posts of how selfish i am for wanting to end my life...but frankly, i don't give a damn. anymore, the people in my life are miserable and treat me like shit. the only reason i'm here right now is because of myself- and now i'm a miserable piece of shit as well. i'm not sure what i was looking for when i googled "how to kill yourself". a way out i guess. i keep going over what i could do in my mind....i can't slit my wrists because 1- don't like blood 2- don't want to chance not slitting deep enough. i don't have a gun or know anyone who does. theres nothing to hang yourself on in the dorms (some student tried and the closet came down on him). so i can take pills or do the whole carbon minoxide thing. truthfully, i've already tried to take a shit load of sleeping pills- the irony is my stomach ulcers made me throw them all back up. anyways, i just wanted to say fuck off with all these comments about how you need to think about the people you're leaving behind- none of them would of left you behind if you would of actually fucking cared about them. i see these suicide stories and am jealous that they have gotten peace and freedom from such a horrible world.
13 Dec 2007	Gia	I want to die. This world is not mine. I have stopped taking my anti-depressants, they are just numbing me from reality. I have so much to look forward to but I just don't want it when it feels like this.
12 Dec 2007	.................	Hi. My name is Hollie. Just recently i have been wanting to kill myself & to be frank i still want to. I reli reli hate my life & i just wish people understood me. After a year and a half break up i am reli heartbroken. Then you have that person tellling you how much of a BITCH you are & that they hate you and don't want you. I mean i dow reli blame him as i did cheat on him. But he wasn't at all perfect. Yeah maybe he didn't cheat on me but he hurt me in many many more ways. Such as kicking & punching me if i wqas in way of telly, punching when he got angry. This was before i cheated on him. Don't get me wrong he realli ain't a bad person but i didn't deserve that. He didn't even treat me like a prober human being. The most reason why i want to kill myself is because of me. I don't like who i am. But most the time i don't like how other people am. My Dad, Reminds me how much of a bitch i am and how much he hates me with his loud voice and horrible attutude. He can't talk, he was the one that lefted me for 2 years while he was in prison in Germany!!! I reli needed him. I had exams and everything. I needed my father! I Don't Know What To do!
11 Dec 2007	bored to death.	kissing.coffins.666@gmail.com if your random and weird come talk to me. im so bored i want to slit my wrists and i am serious about that. maybe we can talk about random things and pass time till waves of happiness come our way.
10 Dec 2007	CONFUSED.	I M A GIRL 4M PAKISTAN.......I M 16 I M LOVE WITH A BOY.HE IS ALSO CRAZY ABOUT ME BUT MY PARENTS R NOT AGREEE WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP.I WANT ON DATE WITH HIM 1 DAY AND MY PARENTS GET KNOW ABOUT IT .NO BODY IS TALKING WITH ME .I WANNA DIE I CANNOT LIVE WIDOUT HIM.I LUV HIM.......I DONOT WANNA DIE BUT WANNA ALERT MY PARENTS.......DAT I CAN DO ANY THING.GIVE ME ANY IDEA WHAT CAN I DO????????PLZ HELP ME....
08 Dec 2007	ca	I don't really know where to turn anymore, everyday seems to get worse and worse, my only wish is for this pain to end....but the only way i know how is suicide. every day i wake up, the feelings are still there, its like a knife tearing away at my heart, i feel empty and alone even though i have people around me, i have lost interest in everything, things i used to enjoy doing, i dont anymore....i really need help but fear i am way beyond help
07 Dec 2007	Kellzy	i am not 13, yet 33..... 13 is hard but it gets a bit bemmtter so hang on 33 yrs old alone, single mother, working everday and always being alone.. no adult contact...end this but how... I cant do this anymore
07 Dec 2007	Hayley	Ok, i am sorry for this and i am not normally like this. I am very suicidal and grown up with selfharm from a young age, self hate, low confidence. My parents use to beat me when i was very young. My Boyfriend died and i am always depressed. I am failing at school and everything hurts. I am crying all the time and always sleeping. I cut myself and i am wanting to commit suicide alot. I am scared and there is a normal sense to survive and the feeling of guilt. I am looking for some advice either on a quick way to end it all fastly or some advice to make it any easier for me to continue living. I am just a very mixed up 14 year old. Also... I want to say... cutting is not a good way to end your life, slow and painful!
07 Dec 2007	raven	i have been suicidal for four years. little things set me off - i dont want to live. i dont want to breathe. i love so many but they dont care about me. no one cares. no one wants to know. i feel so stupid and alone, because i am suicidal over a boy. a fucking boy. why am i so stupid? im fourteen and i am already pathetic, worthless. a shell that takes up space that could be used for something useful. i have nothing. i am nothing. im a burden. a parasite on everything that is good. no one wants to see me alive... i was going to take any pill i could find, wash it down with alcohal. all at night so no one would know until morning. i really hope that i dont hurt anyone - to be honest i am too useless, pathetic, and idiotic to be listened to. i am selfish for writing this.
06 Dec 2007	I hate u	i wish i was pretty i wish i was skinny i wish i was popular i wish i ppl wouldnt hate me i wish my parents wouldnt hate me parents wanting me to change wanting me to be perfect lyke my sister,wanting to change my wieght ,wanting to change my apperence saying u hate me, rumors at skool, calling me names ,ny last wish iz for everybody to leave me alone,i am a disaponment to my parents if i die than i want them to be happy because they have a perfect child 'my sister' IM JUST SORRY IM NOT PERFECT
06 Dec 2007	Amber	Well this is my second time here the first time I talked about how I've tried on a couple of occasions and I failed at it because someone was always there to find me. I'm not doing any better if anything I'm worse now then I was then I come from a family with problems my mother offed herself when I was 16 and I was blamed for it she did it a little after I got out of the nut house selfish bitch anyway the older I get the more my emotional problems become worse I dont want to seek help my help is alochol and drugs I am rarely ever sober I do everything I can to make the world go away my bf does'nt help me either in fact I was doing ok till I met him he's put me down in so many ways I hate myself but I keep going and I dont know why I feel terrible evry single day I cry when no one else is around my nerves are shot to hell and I really dont think that I will ever get better even with treatment I dont know what to do please help me!!!
05 Dec 2007	fucked up	I tried to hang myself today. I fell off the stool before i meant to and i struggled to pull a chair over to stand on so i didn't die. I think i need help, I don't know what to do. I can't tell anyone because then people will think im crazy and bad things come from letting people know you are suicidal, i've seen it happen to other people. No one knew i was planning on doing it, I cant tell anyone that i think i need help. I dont know what the fuck to do.......
05 Dec 2007	Tina	haiya. ma nymz Tina..m 15 n lyk u guyz, m a sykopath..so ma parents say.. it startd wen ma parents gt a dvorc. twaz ol ma mumz folt. she a bitch n a goldign ho n yea..i hate her. n ma dad..cnt do nuthn ryt. m a screwup 2 him? a mistake. i was raped a fw months ago n its worsnd.ths filn ov unworthines n id rather b ded than liv lyk ths. i dnt wana bt m constantly thnkn abt kiln maslf n hv tried a fw tymz bt nufnz hapnd 4 real. i fl lyk da failur dat i am.
05 Dec 2007	Tina	Haiya guyz. my names Tina.. m 15 nd suicidal js lyk da rest ov u guys.. it feels kinda relievn 2 finaly b wit ppl whu undastand hw I feel. it all startd wen ma parents gt a dvorc wen i was 13. its ol ma mumz folt..yea, i hate da bitch. shes a fckn ho n a goldiga. i luv ma dady bt 2 him im a dsapointment..i cnt do nuthn ryt.. bt mor dan ol dat, i was rapd nd i fl so worthles nd m swimn in a sea ov 'if onlyz'. i realy h8 maslf nd hv tried it ol. landed in hospital a cupla tymz.. any suggestionz?
05 Dec 2007	Jacob	im crying as i write this message so i dont care if its sloppy. hello again people i dumped my GF because she cheated on me :( it broke my heart into pieces and now i dunno what to do i love her so much and i want her but she keeps seeing this guy. We talk and we say how we still like each other but she wants to fight but i dont wanna. Cause i wanna go back out with her so she dont get with any other guys. Im ripped into pieces and its breaking my hurt i want to die but i dont got my gun yet :( I got really no one to talk to and its all building up inside me so when i get angry i go crazy. I hate my life i hate it so much all i think about is suicide and what cool ways i can get shot. I really wanna have a Suicide By Cop and when my heat comes in im gonna cause i fucking hate people now i had yars of bullying and that has made me insecure thats why i hold things cause im afraid to talk to people cause im afraid they will turn on me. Im allways been bullied and teased at school and years of bullying can really make someone not ok inside. People dont know how bad bullying is. My parents dont help at all i wanna start cutting again and they go through my computer like they own it so now ive gotta install some security to keep the bastards out yes i hate my parents as a matter of fact. Hmm if anyone wants to talk ad me on msn or email me at: BILLABONG_360_@hotmail.com
04 Dec 2007	Oxlena	I love how all the posters under 'blame' and 'sadistic' don't have depression and/or don't know how it is to be suicidal. It actually makes me giggle a little. Yeah, I'm Bipolar. No, it isn't my fault. I know that...It doesn't change the fact that I hate myself and wish I'd fall over and stop breathing. Go ahead and say that I do it for attention, but you'll be wrong. If I wanted [negative] attention I'd get into drugs and drinking and fuck everything that walked. It's ass backwards to try to get attention from pretending you're suicidal. You're just going to get into a whole bunch of shit and then REALLY wish you were dead. The last thing I want is attention; I just want to feel better. Some days I feel like being happier would make me lose a sentimental part of myself; other days I resent myself for the simple fact that I haven't committed suicide yet. I'm seventeen years old and I have a record of self-harm, but not many serious enough to be called suicide attempts. I cut my wrists, but I wear long sleeves all the time so people don't see the cuts. My mom - who is the only person who can really help - doesn't believe me. She thinks that you have to have a REASON to be depressed. I guess she doesn't realize that all the negligence over the years has fucked me up pretty severely. She's never cared about me, and she isn't easy to talk to. I asked her, just once, to help me. I reached out for help. She told me to "Go take a walk." She said nothing more and ignored all else I said. There was nothing more to say. I've said, "I'm just going to go kill myself, nobody would notice anyway." And she just laughs and mocks me and tells me I'm probably right. All my friends think my parents are nice, and they can be, but not especially often to me. They get generous enough every once in awhile, but that's no substitute for love. They think that throwing materialistic items my way is going to make everything all better, but they don't realize that I'd give all of that up for just someone in my family that I can call and TALK to, that cares, and that will keep my secrets and not run off and tell all of the rest of my family. I just don't know what to do. I don't think my friends believe how shitty my parents are to me [behind closed doors], and it makes me feel absolutely worthless. Some days I feel so helpless it's all I can do just to get out of bed and do things for myself. I'm home-schooled because I refused to go back to highschool. I couldn't handle it. I wasn't learning anything, and I couldn't handle the people because I went from a tiny Catholic school to a [seemingly, to me] huge highschool. (A lot of good Catholic school did for me, by the way; I'm an atheist now. I felt like God had forsaken me...Before I realized that the world is too fucked up to have a 'loving' God. If there is a god, He's a hypocrite bastard and I loathe him, or her or it or whatever the fuck it is, with every fiber in my body.) I have no trouble doing my schoolwork on my own, but it's about the only thing I don't lack motivation for. I'm also anorexic because I feel that I don't deserve to eat, and I'm hoping that eventually my body will just follow suit and shut down like the rest of me. I have a boyfriend, but I don't think my friends approve, even though we've been together for nearly three years. I feel like such a waste of space. I can't even believe I'm going to bother posting, actually. I don't feel worthy of being represented on this site. I'm afraid my friends are eventually going to realize that they can't help me and give up on me. They act like they'll always care for me and help me as best they can, but I think the time is going to come when they'll give up on me like everyone else. They aren't the type of people to do such a thing to someone they love, but face it, I'm beyond help. The only people who can truly, permanently help me aren't what I would consider allies. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live miserably and I think that those are my only options.

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