|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|22 Aug 2007||Jodie||I'm 12, 13 next february, and ever since I was 9, i've been cutting myself. Before i first cut myself, I was beaten up in school and my friends, who i'd been with for years, either moved to a different place, or didn't seem interested in me anymore. I started hiding razors from my mum, and cut my ankle, because no one could see there. A year later, me and my brother moved to a different school because the bullying got worse every month. When we moved school, straight away, people started swearing at me, throwing sharp stuff at me, and chasing me with chairs. My mum told the school about this, but they did nothing at all about it. I made only 2 friends during the 2 years at my new school, but 1 of them, Chloe, moved to Oxford, and thats when suicide came into my head. SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE. Rebecca, she was unpopular as well, and because we were bullied, it ruined our friendship. Last year, I went to high school. All the girls there hated me, and spreaded rumors that i was lesbian and lots of other hurtful stuff. Then i started cutting my wrists with the razor. The girls still hate me, and i'm starting to take pills from my mums medicine cabinet. I wish the kids did kill me in primary school. My life is never gonna get any better.|
|21 Aug 2007||MOB||Someone please reply. I'm 15 and I have a life. Mom and dad are seperated but that's no big deal. I got people who care for me and popular at school. A and B student and football runningback. The problem is that I suffer from mental illness. Borderline schizophrenia and minor dementia which I should be in a mental clinic for. I also believe I might be pyschopathic which troubles me. I have all the symptoms such as high I.Q., extrovertiness, persuasive and barely feel emotions. Never happiness or sadness. I hallucinate about everything just turning gray and distorted for hours. I rarely sleep and when I do I have reoccuring nightmares. My only intrests are women and seeing death(for lack of a better word.) I'm a strong agnostic so religion does nothing for me. I sometimes think about killing others and how to do it. I'd want to mutilate them just so I can be known for something. I'd rather feel sadness then nothing at all in my humble opinion. Life doesn't mean much to me. I've had close friends shot and close family members die and it doesn't affect me. I'm unsure if I should kill myself just to protect others. None of my friends or family know about my problems except my pyschiatrist(Who has not told my family for he knows if he did I might become worse.) These kids who have family issues and other petty problems; try and remember that there is no problem that lasts forever. I understand I'm being a hynocrite by saying that. I believe when you die that you just die. Nothing but black, no dreams, no heaven, no hell, reincarnation or anything like that. Be happy that you have the ability to be feel whether it's happy or sad. Because too me right now there is no difference if I live or die.If my family knew what I knew they would hopefully understand how I feel. What should I do?|
|20 Aug 2007||Waiting||Ever since middle school I've thought of killing myself. I was always part of the picked on group. The small group to the side not many people wanted to hang out with. I think my suicide thoughts back then were more of a way to show people how much hate was built up inside. I always thought of walking out in the courtyard in front of everyone and shooting myself in the head.
But I'm a different person now. I think of suicide for different reasons now. Perhaps as equally selfish or stupid, but I can't help it.
While I used to be picked on a part of the nerdy type group, I've always been the guy who everyone likes. I've had friends from all different groups of people, though I have still felt pressure. In my second year of high school, all my friends had left for other schools and the only friend left was a loner just like me who ended up leaving the school because he punched a bastard who probably deserved it anyways. It seemed his goal in school was to torment those as much as they tormented him. Unfortunately it left me in the dust.
Even though I've had friends, I've been a loner every since 7th grade. I hated going over to friend's houses. I don't know what in me changed because I use to be a normal kid, despite being picked on.
I was also raised in a middle class home, despite going to a fairly upper class private school paid for in part by my grandparents and a grant. I always felt slight pressure from that. But even moreso are the dreams my parents have for me. My dad doesn't want me to have his life. He didn't go to college because his father didn't want him to. My grandfather owns a bowling alley and my dad has been working in the back of the bowling alley in a screenprinting shop his whole life. He figured he was working his way to eventually own the bowling alley. My grandfather recently passed away and left the bowling alley to his wife.
I've lived primarily with my mom for my whole life. She's been overprotective, to the point where I never had much contact with girls even though I had the chance. I've had chances with girls but never took them or was held back. I'm 20 and I've never touched a girl in any way.
I've always quit before I ever excelled in anything. Piano lessons...quit, even though I play the keyboard to let my emotions out quite frequently. I can't dedicate myself to anything. I've always considered myself fairly well balanced. I'm good at many things. I've never had to strive for good grades. I'm always complimented on my artistic abilities, even though I know I could be ten times better if I devoted myself.
But I can't. And there I was in college trying to figure out what I want to do. Computer science...I quit. Graphic design...I quit college altogether. I took a break from school over the summer. Figured I'd get a job. Took a job from my step-dad but ended up doing a screen printing job because the other job was too hard and I was interested in screen printing. I disliked the people. I hated feeling like, even after months, like I'm this new guy and every thing I do is wrong or they have to make some comment on it.
So I quit because I have anger management issues and I shoved my mom and yelled in her face and had the cops called on me. Betrayed because she was scared. As if I'd do something to harm her. I spend my time harming myself. When I fuck up, I hurt myself. I bash my hand. I bash my chest. I don't cut. I don't take too many pills. I just like the feeling of blunt pain.
So now I'm stuck. Should I go back to college? If I don't, I have loans and other issues to pay for. Should I work? For what? My own survival? I don't even want to live, so how can I be motivated to do anything.
I've never felt apart of this world. I have no desire to grow up and make money and live, no matter how successful I may be. I have great potential, it's not like I'm some waste of blood. Perhaps my ego is too big. I consider myself greater than many people. I have a hard time creating bonds with people because I see through bullshit. I see through stupidity. I see too many carbon copies of people walking around.
So here I am. I think to myself, if I had a gun right now, I would most likely try. I don't know why a gun. It just seems right. I can't stand the though of self strangulation. Poisoning myself. Bleeding myself. Something about a loud noise and and explosion of blood just seems right.
But now you see the other side of me. I quit because I'm lazy. I quit because I have no motivation. Where am I going to get a gun? Even if I knew where, I'd have to go out and get it. A young looking guy who's never used a gun and would look green in some gunshop buying a gun. Too much pressure just to get the thing I need. So maybe I'm not ready. I'm not ready for life and I'm not ready to die. What am I supposed to do. Sooner or later my parents will kick me out. I will feel constant pressure from them to get a job before that. I can't just be lazy. But if I go to college it would be for them, not me.
I left college to figure out who I was. But I haven't. I haven't even tried. I can't. How am I supposed to tell my family that I just want to go away where no one knows me. I don't want to be in contact with you. How do I tell them that? I'm too strapped in here where I am. I need to start anew.
But life is all about pressure. All about what people will think. All about obligation.
I've always had this weird notion that I'm supposed to die in some heroic way. I've thought of joining the military. Throwing my life on the line. Fearless. Forcing myself in bad situations so that I don't have to do the honors of killing myself.
But I'm waiting for something to happen. Something to bring me back. But I doubt it will happen. You have to go out and actively seek things in life but I just have no motivation to do so and I don't know how to change my motivation.
So maybe one day. Maybe one day I'll be gone. Maybe one day I'll build up enough willpower to kill myself. Until then, I'm stuck here feeling pressures that I don't wish to feel because I'm to cowardly and unmotivated to make myself a better person.
|17 Aug 2007||mandy||im so depressed i cant help but think what a failure i am at everything my family call me names like whore brat my dad treats me like shit cause i was "the accidental" child my dad and mom bash me i even got bruses on my arms and legs to prove it i just wanna see her face after i die i got the best suicide plan laid out im gonna cut my throte in front of them and when i drop dead theyll see what i am they probebley wont even do a funeral theyll put me in a cardboard box and throw me away i cant wait to see there faces :( you know what stuff the world no one knows i exsist.|
|17 Aug 2007||keisha||i am 10 my parents r split my aunts twins died n my dad moved to sudbury n my dad has anither fuckin kid with a different woman the kids name is lenny ever stupid name my mom drinks so how is a good way to kill my self???email me.please|
|10 Aug 2007||Sara||I'm 19 now, and as far back as I can remember I have wanted to commit suicide, or at least hated my life. I live in a rich family, but you wouldn't know from my appearance. I have an older brother, who gets all the attention and love. For a good 6 years, my mom's friends didn't even know I existed. I wonder if I was an accident. For the past 7 years, my mom has put me down about my weight (she'll buy a pair of pants that are too small, say I can fit in them and when I can't she shows me she can and then starts telling me I need to lose weight), my intelligence, my height, my art (which I used to be proud of) and various other things. It's constant arguments about nothing at all. Right now, I am grounded because my brother hit me. My dad used to get so angry at me if I didn't understand something, he threw books or other items on the table at me. Once he tried throwing me down the stairs. Freshman year of high school, the school found out and he was forced to stop. Friends take advantage of me. They know I'll do anything for them, so the say jump and I do, but when I ask for favors they turn the other cheek. I just finished my freshman year of college, and had 2 room changes due to shitty roommates. My first roommate told me how fat and dumb I am along with when I can eat, sleep, do homework, turn on the fan, have a friend in the room, or be in the room in general. My second roommate was crazy. She spread rumors that my boyfriend raped me twice (which was false), and then threatened to kill me 5 days before school ended and finals began. I have never had a true best friend. When I think I have someone, I lose them due to something like I won't convert to their religion, in a grade below them when they move to middle school, or moved and decided life is better if they start completely new. Granted, this is not even close to the whole story, but it is unnecessary to write everything.
I know I just ranted, but I think I needed to write something down to help myself. We focus on all the negative things because in life we are told we are suppose to be happy. Society makes us believe life is always happy. It's not. Quote from a movie called 28 Days "No one adult human being is happy! People are born, they have a limited amount of time going around thinking life is dandy but then, inevitably, tragedy strikes and they realize life equals loss! The whole point of the game is to minimize the pain caused by that equation! Now some people do it by having kids, or making money, or taking up coin collecting, and others do it by getting wasted." Instead of suicide, I think we all need to find something that makes us truly at bliss. I haven't found it yet.
|09 Aug 2007||jess||i know i cant exactly say you dont kill yuorself everythign will be fine cus i ent gonna lie, i dnt no weva it will be, but ill just say think about living, give life a chance. i hate life, its shit and mine is completely fucked up- i messed up the only chance i ahd for happiness when i gt moved to a foster family cus of the was my family treated me and i messed that up big time just cus my foster parents had rules. somethign i wasnt used to. i think everythign will be ok now but i messed up big time and i can never change wat i did. iv always felt different, lost unloved. my mum didnt give a fuck aobut me she ahted me cus my stepdad hated me. i love mum cus well shes mum but she dosent love me and i cant tell u how much that hurts me. the pain is unbelievable. one of my bests mates ever is in hospital- she slashed up her face neck and stomch and that reli hurt me. this site helps me everyday- iv met soem reli cool people, made some reli nice mates but helped loads of people. if you want to talk- ill try to help add me or email me firstname.lastname@example.org
|08 Aug 2007||colette||light a gasheater, turn it up and block all the openings to the door. get in a nice, warm bath and just drift away. thats what i would have done if we had gasheaters here. im not really sure what i would do otherwise. maybe douse myself in fuel and just light a match. i dont know. im basically too scared of the pain to do it that way. im such a pathetic excuse of a human being i'd probably even fail at killing myself|
|08 Aug 2007||colette||i suffer from bipolar mood disorder and borderline personality disorder. you dont have a clue how much i want to die. life just isnt worth it to me at all. im poor. i cant even afford the most basic stuff. i have tonsilitis right now and i cant even have my tonsils removed. i fucking hate myself|
|07 Aug 2007||zoe||im 16 yr old n i have written on this site b4 i feel so ashamed becoz im so depressed all the timen i jus want to end it all! thing is i do feel guilty coz ive never been abused or anything lyk that i jus feel usless n as if its my timeb to go! my dad dont talk to me my family dont care about me i jus feel lonely fat n ugly all the time! ALL i want is just 1 reply which will help me find a good way to kill myself i tried n overdose b4 n it didnt work so anything else that may work plz help me go"|
|05 Aug 2007||jessica||Im so sick of life im planning on killing myself tonight i get bullyed every freaken day my freinds arnt talking to me my mom started doing drugs my dad left us life is so depressing i live in foster care thiss is so hard my step family treat me like shit. i close my eye's every night and wish i could sleep forever im only 14 im sick of seeking for help im just writing this to say goodbye to those who give a crap (nobody) :( i cant stop crying anyways i would love to see my foster familys face when i die LOL bye everyone this is the last you hear from me.|
|04 Aug 2007||who cares anyways||im 14 and no joke i have anti depressents by my side now thats how im going to kill myself its not so much for attention i just really want out but what i need more than anything is help there is non my councler cant talk me out of it my friends cant you know people ask me why do you want to kill your slef well they dont understand....why do they want to live when your born into a family that abuses you when yo have like no friends your bullied why would omeone be so crule as to help you thats like keeping someone on life support when you know they are never going to live and all they are doing is suffering maybe some people think this is selfish the easy way out but you have to remember critisizing someone about the way they deal with problems isnt going to help them maybe i dont know anyone here so i can safly say im not interested in your problems i have my own but i deffinatly understand anyways i figure 3 ad should be enough but i kinda have this feeling like....i dont really want to die i just want to be saved but like thats gonna happen right i guess its too late.....
eventually we realize
forever isnt as long as we once thought it was
a friend who said would be there forever will leave you
ove is basicially the same thing as hate
we learn that promises can be broken as quickly as they are made
|04 Aug 2007||Daniel||Could you please help me. I am a Christian and I was saved last September. I am thinking about taking my own life because my whole life is messed-up. Just today, I was talking to a youth pastor about that and he reffered me to a counselor. I don't know what to do now. Could you please help me. I am 16 years old. thanks|
|04 Aug 2007||Justin||I want to die,as life ismt wnhat I thought it would be.I have been patient but it has got to end.I grew up up in a bad country,I couldnt study coz I couldnt afford it.I fianlly met someone who loved me but she changed her mind and told me to return to the same place I hate.1 broken marriage,no education,no money,ano help,im only 26.This has got to stop.KILL ME.|
|04 Aug 2007||SHERMINE(:||Ì`m 13 going 14 this dec yr 2oo7 . Im currently thinking of committing suicide , i dont know wat had got into me , i think im just too stressed . im worrying about my friend's relationship , i dont want her to suffer like i did , im also afraid of something currently , im being so called molested in class , the malay guys in my class used to touch me on my face , put their hand around me , grab my hand , & somehow harassed me , but this stoppes for awhile after my boyfriend went to confront one of the malay guy asking him to stop harassing me , the malay guy is now being suspend for some other case . I'm now afraid as i & my boyfriend had broken up , i dont know wht the malay guys will do to me whn he comes back for lesson & finds out tht i & my bf had broken up . i have no one to protect me now , im really scared . i dont want to tell the teacher about this as i dont want to make things big & get thm into trouble . Another thing im stressed about is about relationship . yah , i still love my EX boyfriend which we just broke up a few days ago . we broke up on the 3rd wk of our relationship , but i still love him alot . i dont know why , i kept telling myself tht im letting go & i dont like him anymore , but i just cant . i dont know wht had got into me , i feel like dying , i just cant face reality . i started to take panadol , trying to overdose myself . i started eating 4 in a day , as thts all i have at home . nothing happen to me , the next day , i ask my friends if thy have panadols at home , my friends gave me 3 each , which was 6 . i eat it all in a day , nothing happened to me , i only felt a little dizzy & almost vomited during lesson . i had a friend who was stressed about family problems once , & she took 16 panadols , she went into hospital . i was glad nothing happened to her , she is now perfectly fine . i thinking of trying it , but maybe im afraid to leave my friends & family in the world , but i have now bought a box of panadols which contains 2o tablets & i dont know wht im gonna do with it . when ever my friends ask me why i want panadols , i would tell thm i'm having a headache , some of thm know tht i would do silly stuffs , so thy wont bring panadols for me , but now i have 2o tablets all for myself , my mummy ask me why i need to buy panadol , i told her tht i was having a headache & our house had no more panadols & she gave me the money . i only slit myself but i nvr thought of killing myself tht way , i just have some cuts on my hand . i seriously dont know wht the hell is wrong with me , i've read some other ppls stories & they were all more saddening & more worth killing thmselves . but i just cant take the stress . i just think tht i dont belong to this world . but i love all the wonderful people around me , my family , i love thm alot , i know thy care alot for me , thy are the best family i can ever have . my friends , many of thm cared for me , but i neglected most of thm , FRIENDS , im sorry . you all are the best , im really sorry for wht i've done to you guys , if you guys ever get a chance to read this , im sorry for making you guys worry for me . i dont know whts gonna happen to me , as long as im sad & feeling down , i would consume panadols . if anything ever happen to me , takecares . people writing here , do takecare of yourself , i know many ppl feel down &upset , things will get better , i know im stupid , i can tell you people tht things will get better , but i cant convince myself to believe tht . im stupid . If Anyone can help me stop the habit of consuming panadols whenever im sad , please tell me okays . thanks .|
|02 Aug 2007||sio||being num and
letting everything go
is what i might have to do
it's to hard..
maybe i'm just not up for it..
don't take it personal
i've never been strong
i need to start fresh
without a trace of the old me
forget the memories
forget the life
end the life!
thats how i feel
the only thing is.
im selfish and
gonna go num soon
i havent coem to ask how to do it..
ive come to say goodbye and sorry
jordan i really did love you baby( my 2 year old broter)
i know what life is about
the world is
i dont want to be a part of the cruelness
|01 Aug 2007||the lion||People come and go but others have a nice time and go very well.Why am i not having a nice time?Why Must I be the only sad boy In the world?I just have to kill myself and let the lucky ones be|
|31 Jul 2007||anon||i have been suicidal for some time now,nothing is goin right in my life,i lost my family in a house fire,and hen things strtd 2 get bak on track i met a girl i was mad about,we woz together for a yr,i woz thinkin o proposin 2 her wen she decided to have an affair,i am in massive debt tht i cnt seem to get out of,i have no1 2 talk to and im just sik of life,i wil b ded soon|
|29 Jul 2007||jenn F||I am going on 34!!I have had a hard life!!When my mom concieved me she was told for sake of her health to abort me!!Obviously she did not!!growing up her family use to say"you little bastard you deserve to be shot and pissed on!!" Never knew why until 5 years ago when my dad expalined she was suggested to have an abortion!!This was explained to me just after my mom died 5years ago!!My life with her was not easy she was mentally and emoyionally abusive!!See she was abused in sme manner by her mom so she didnt know different either!!Her brother sexually abused when I was 4!!I told her but she decided her family was more important than my safty!!his sexual abuse didnt end until i was 14years old!!In school i had no friends!!No guys liked me cuz Im a dog!!I have ADD so i struggled with school but was just told I was stupid!!Wasnt diagnosed with ADD until I was 27!!My mom had a spinal disease that I have as well and have pain everyday,every moment!!My spine will fuse together at 60 or 65!!When it does physical pain will end but maybe disformed back!!I had to look after my mom when I was in high school and hardly ever made it there!i got married to a man that is from a christian family but he is mentally,and financially and emotionally abusive!!I have been stuck for 13 years and cant escape!!Everyone just says leave but not that easy!I can go but without money and my two sons!!he uses my past growing up against me!!My name is on the deed to house but I have no say!He knows I have no education so I cant support the boys and not forget my health!He has ay opver everything!!Im known as stupid bitch!!I had to ask for a dollar for a coffee and he decide if I was worth it!!I have to watch what he wants even though I pay the cable!I work at a grocery store getting minimum wage!!He sits home when Im at work and does nothing!!granted he works and his work day ends at 1:30pm but he will sit in his recliner from the time he comes in the door to 11pm!!Boys are lucky if they get supper!!he leaves dishes for me,laundry-all house hold chores mine cuz it is womans work!!He handles the money and paying of bills but things dont get paid!!he will hand $20 over to feed t4 people for groceries for two weeks!!I have ran my credit up just to buy foood,clothing for boys,and heat house in winter!!I end up sleeping on the couch,getting up every hour and half to put wood on the woodstove for warmth!!He wont carry wood in so I have too!!Everything I seem to touch goes wrong!!Even having children diddidnt go to well!I was soo sick with both kids and strict bed rest!!Oldest chil almost died as baby due to a stomache problem youngest followed with samething!!I just wish somewhere along the line id find happiness!!I cant leave him,I have no where to go!Yeah shelters but I cant care for the boys with my health!!I am truly a loser!!I remember a sign in grade 7,it read....I KNOW IM SOMEBODY CUZ GOD DONT MAKE JUNK!!"Id stare at it and go yes hes does im living proof!!I swear my im alive to prove that if there is a good he has me as a joke!!I want happiness!!I wouldlove financial freedom(not to be rich just to have bills paid and know my boys can have some experiences)I want to be loved!!I attempted suicide many times in high school!!Shows you how much of a loser I am cuz I couldnt even kill myself right!!Tried to over dose but just ended up puking and sick!!I have thought many times of just speeding my car up on way home and nailing a pole!!I dont because I worry about my boys!!My pain is becoming so strong I dont know how much longer I can go!!Lately my emotional pain is stronger!!I try to talk to my dad but he trows out how well my brother is doing!!I asked my mom if my brother was her favourite!!She replied of course he holds a dear spot to my heart he is my first born!!Why didnt they just stop at him!!They would have had it all,her perfect child,and her health and life!!when will I dont dream anymore!!I dont pray because I have lost a belief in god!!heaven and hell!!My life has been hell canit really be worsewhen im dead!!????|
|28 Jul 2007||Sam||I'm not gonna say don't do it, im 13, im heartbroke, and i feel like shit, i wanna commit suicide, because i feel its the best way to go, God hates me i think, he has given me a life of shit, so i fucking hate the cunt for it. My closest uncle commited suicide, and so did my idol, Kurt Cobain, this makes me go fourth and think "yeah, i wanna do it" i dont care what others think, my gf told me we were taking a break, and then later signed my website "im sorry to say we are not going out", how does that make me feel, some people may think "you sad cunt, my mom has died, or my dad killed himself" but that's you, this is how i feel, at the moment, i have my plans of hanging myself from my bannister, the same way my uncle did. Or overdosing on drugs, either way, i fucking hope i will die soon.|