|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|27 Nov 2000||Dark Frog||Tie some piano wire around something a foot or more (but not too high) above your own height. Wrap the other end around your neck, then put super glue on your hands. Hold on to your head for a few moments, then jump off whatever it is that the piano wire is tied to. After you land, your family members (friends, police, etc.) will find you holding your own head|
|26 Nov 2000||Alex Rex||WALK to a gas station and press the cash button. If the man at the register doesn't check and just absentmindedly hits the ok button for you to pump, hold the pump straight up in the air. Keep in mind there isn't even a car near you. Start pumping and look straight at the register, when the guy finally looks to see why you've pumped so much gas, light a match before he can turn it off. This ought to blow up the whole place, or at least your pump and certainly demolish any trace of you. The gas guy (if he leaves) will never forgive himself for being so stupid and not looking to see that you actually did not have a car. Good luck ^^|
|26 Nov 2000||Akiyuki||Dunno if this has been given but it's something I'd do if I had the opportunity. It takes a little preparation, but I'm sure you could find instructions easy enough. Build yourself a nice bomb, big enough to explode your body. Attatch it a time or even an altimeter set at about 50 feet. Done? OK. Get yourself a baggy trenchcoat - preferably beige so you don't get odd looks. Conceal in it gasoline and a match. Take the whole shebang up to the roof of a high building.
What you want to do now, is start ranting and yelling and freaking out so people below will see you and start pointing and stuff. Then when a decent-sized crowd has amassed, douse yourself in the gasoline, light yourself on fire, and jump off the building.
Now you're on fire, and screaming toward the ground. Remember that bomb you built? Well, when it goes off about 50 feet above the heads of the crowd, they'll all get sprayed with little bits of you. It's very messy, and very unexpected. If you do this, tell me where you live and I'll make sure to come see.
|25 Nov 2000||bob the builder||with your fathers penis enlargement kits inserted into your ears.|
|25 Nov 2000||Pip||choke and die on your own fist|
|25 Nov 2000||Joanna||hang yourself with a guitar string (works best for musicians and angsty rats who want to be kewl while comitting suicide)|
|22 Nov 2000||SLaiG_i||dip your mom's titties in poison and nurse away my lad. Oh $hit -- that might kill me too! :(|
|22 Nov 2000||ItBurn||Swallow a whole live rat.|
|03 Oct 2000||John Simon Ritchie||inject melted peanut butter into your veins... when it hardens you die, and it's a good source of protein|
|02 Sep 2000||Mr Tug||Melt down some crayons in the microwave. Pretend its hot cider at daddy's lawyer christmas parties.
Pretend it doesn't burn.
With a wax coating covering the insides of your throat swallow several boxes of safety pins, thumb tacks and razor blades.
Wait. (This could be the boring part. Be sure to have a good book or friend to keep you company while you wait to die.)
|29 Aug 2000||Jenn||get two sharpened pencils, shove the sharpened part in each nostril so it stuck there, then slam the eraser into a table so that the sharpened ends shoot up into the brain, killing you.
i hope that was a better answer than before, thank you
|18 Aug 2000||Kathleen||if you are of the oppisite sex (male) you can brake off pieces of your G.I. Joe and shove them down your throat. plus, also, you can take a huge kitchen knife, strip down, and start shaving all your body hair being sure to press down as hard as possible. then, start slicing the knife down your genitals. then back up to your throat.
female: oh screw it! have mad erotic sex for a straight week, then blind fold yourself, have a lover tie you up to your bed, cover you in honey, syrup, etc.... then have him let loose billions of bees and ants. see how it goes.
if you believe you have a sick twisted mind, write me pleeeeease!
|13 Aug 2000||ferdinand mendez||The best way to kill yourself when you're under thirteen is to eat as many peppers as posible. By then you are still HOT when you die.|
|05 Jul 2000||Crazy Deus||Some people need to understand that there is a fine line between humor, and serious life.
Those who can't handle humor, should not dabble in serious life, either. I can't stand those who can't handle a really funny joke, albeit a little tasteless. So stop the crap about: "I'm so sad, I know someone who commited suicide" or "Death isn't funny, I've seen too much death already." And so now, I am forced to say: THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE. You take me seriously, then I'll hunt you down and kill you myself.
And thus, my solutions:
1. Attack a beehive with your bare hands. (If you look like Macaulay Culkin, more power to ya)
2. Play outside. During a hurricane, earthquake, or small war.
3. Get into contests with your other 13-year old friends as to who can swallow the largest, pointiest object that can be found.
4. Jab enough pencils into yourself so that the lead actually kills you.
5. Go find daddy's gun. Go to school. Kill, when youre done havin fun, kill yourself.
6. "Where all the white women at?" (if you dont know what this is referring to, go watch Blazing Saddles)
7. Try to stop a gang shootout. Success only leads to the need to do it again.
8. Rub raw meat all over you, and carry around a dog whistle. Walk around, play a tune.
9. Eat only candy for a few months.
10. Finally, two words: POWER TOOLS.
|27 May 2000||brennan||build a simple wooden coffin and lay in it. then tell a friend to nail it shut. dispense several cans of that self-expanding foam for filling in household cracks, etc. the coffin will rapidly fill, suffocating you, and at the same time the foam will make an exact mould of your corpse. leave instructions to have a jello salad made with the mould.|
|13 May 2000||Damp||The best way to kill yourself when you're under 13, is to set your house on fire and let the firetruck run you over, when they come.|
|10 May 2000||Hells Wrath||Self Beheadment with hedgeclippers.|
|01 May 2000||Kenny||What I would do is get a gun, dress like a bum and go on the streets to a really fancy restauraunt and ask to be served. If they reject you go outside again and tap on the window. When you get everyone's attention that's inside eating their rich food, lean your head against the window and blast your fucking brains all over it. Make sure all those wealthy people inside are watching you, traumatize them for life. Oh yeah.. and don't forget to smile while you do this.|
|15 Apr 2000||tom||Stick two pencils up your nose and slam it your head on the desk. Crashing the pencils right through your brain.|
|11 Apr 2000||psychobitch||Any good suicide kit would include these itmes:
1- a fountain pen and a sheet of decorative, official-looking paper perfect for writing your will on (don't want those younger siblings getting all your cool stuff!)
2- a small diary for an optional manifesto - tell the world what's wrong with it before making your lasting impression.
3- an arbitrary number of syringes. o say about ten (prefilled with painkillers), a noose, a bottle of lighter fluid and a jet-lighter (the kind that doesn't go out in the wind).
4- a child sized, plush wooden box to use as a casket, a personalized headstone (so your parents don't put some dumb thing on your last rock) and a shovel.
5- instructions that read as so:
Hide your suicide kit well. If anyone finds it, you're sure to be grounded for months. After that, dig a large hole in the backyard (just tell your parents you are trying to tunnel to hell if they ask - this is to cause suspense and leave a nice burial plot) on the last night, lay out your manifesto and will out on your bed, turn on the radio or tv so they think you're still there. (Insert ironic musical choices here). Go out to highway with a bridge. Tie the noose to something sturdy and put it around your neck. Stand on the edge of the bridge. (Smoke any cigarettes now, you won't be able to later). Dowse yourself using the entire bottle of lighter fluid. Inject as many needles as neccessary with one hand, holding the lighter tightly in the other. After a few minues, the painkillers will make you woosie and you will fall off of the bridge. Hopefully, you will have enough strenght to light the lighter. Do so. You now have a show FIT for all the stupid masses in their oncoming-traffic vehicles!
And when you are in heaven, you can tell god that it wasn't your fault, you od'd on painkiller, causing a terrible accident and get early parole from hell.