|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|27 Sep 2001||Usama Bin Laden||Relatively simple, Stick your penis in a light socket. Shocking..|
|27 Sep 2001||Charlie Manson||1) dress up in an appropriately disturbing outfit, such as a school girl outfit or altar boy.
2)fix a hose end with a broomstick, and the other with a gas mask.
3)insert the broomstick in your ass, and place the gas mask on your face. as you become excited by the rectal intrusion, you will quickly use up the air in the mask, and pass out, make sure to duct tape the mask to your head as to prevent last minute changes of mind.
4)Drift off into oblivion
|24 Sep 2001||bludmudder||First you will need to get a fire hose. Lube it up and ram the business end of that motherfucker all the way up your ass. When it won't go any further you will need to shove it in some more (an understanding friend may be able to assist you). I suggest getting some strong adhesive tape and wrap your body in it to secure the hose. Next, find a fire hidrant near on a busy street with a lot of people around. Hook up that badboy and open the flood gates. Now SCREAM! Tell everyone how much your life sucks! Tell them! Scream at the heavens! SCREAM! Tell God why you have a fire hose up your ass! Tell him! It would be a good idea to have your middle fingers flailing in the air. I'm not really sure if this will kill you, but if you live you will have a new found love of life; you will now be stronger than anybody else in this cruel world (not to mention very clean passages). A new perspective, and a wide asshole.|
|18 Sep 2001||DROOGIE||Just come over to my house and I will beat you over the head with a claw hammer until your brains come out|
|15 Sep 2001||Firehead||Get a microwave. Brake the front glass. Put your head inside the microwave and turn it on. Your eyes will explode and you'll vomit your brain.|
|08 Sep 2001||Scar||all you do is cut your chest then rip out your heart. if that doesn't work cut all your teeth out and wear false teeth, all your friends will pay you out and then you will turn to the lord like i have. e-mail me if you want to know about the cult i have created, so you can spread the message, goodbye. then, remember scars look good.|
|07 Sep 2001||Parker||well, i always rather liked the idea of injecting some sort of anaesthetic into your veins, stopping your heart. not all that flashy, but pretty creative, i'd say.
lock yourself away somewhere, an oubliette'd be swell (not really all that common these days though), and then, as your hunger increases, rip shreds of flesh from your own body for sustenance. nice sort of a literal self-consumption, dont ya think? *grin* and what'd happened if you managed to swallow some intestine, so that it sorta wrapped down your throat into the stomach and back into the intestine that you've already swallowed? it'd be a feat of willpower (and lack of gag reflex) but it'd be damn fuckin cool to see.
|05 Sep 2001||the guy fawks method||suppose you could always wait till the shops are selling fireworks... just quickly light a load of them and stick them in every hole you have (females have an advantage here obviously) and pretty soon you will probably have halved in weight and (unless you're very unlucky) be dead.|
|31 Aug 2001||RELIGION HATER||Get your father's automatic caliber 50 machine gun...go to your local church on a major event. Call the cops in advance.
Kill as many christians as possible...But make sure you aim at painful spots. Make those disgusting fundamentalists who threatens about hell suffer utterly as they die.
Then the cops will surely come and try to stop you.
Don't bother at the cops. Just keep on shooting christians...
Then the cops will make quick work of you..
This is called suicide by cop...
However you can do something worthwhile and make your suicide meaningful by bringing as many bible stumping, hell threatening christians as possible.
|28 Aug 2001||Nick Harris||Most people commit suicide cause there lives suck like shit or their girlfriend/boyfriend left them.
I have seen this done and it works and you die feeling happy.
1. Kidnap somone you think is hot and remove their clothes and then tie them to some railroad tracks.
2. Put earplugs in both of your ears so you won't hear the train on anything.
3. Take off your clothes and tie yourself on top of them.
4. Have sex with them before you get killed by the speeding train and you'll die happy.
Railroad tracks with a person or people on it
|13 Aug 2001||becci||Lick your fingers then put them in a plug socket in the wall.|
|13 Aug 2001||suicidaire||se rentrer un pieu par les narines, jusqu'au cerveau|
|09 Aug 2001||max||freeze yourself in a deepfreeze|
|17 Jul 2001||devil from hell||1. skin urself alive
2. take a knife and shove it up ur ass
3. take a knife and cut open ur tummy, dig out ur kidneys, and show it to ur parents and say, "hey, check out my kidneys!"
|26 Jun 2001||Kevin Bay||Step 1: Cover body with Filet Mignons (necklace, coat); stew meat works as well.
Step 2: Visit your local zoo.
Step 3: Jump into Lion/Tiger/Bear pits.
Step 4: Run frantically in circles.
|18 Jun 2001||name: no||Sit on a powerful storm drain and get your internal organs sucked out your anus.|
|21 May 2001||Erlymnya the Venomous Whore||Why kill yourself when it's so much fun to kill others?
The top 11 ways to kill someone with a spoon (In reverse order)
1. Put poison in the bowl end of a the spoon your victim is about to use, they will die
2. Bash someone repeatedly with the bowl end
3. Stab someone repeatedly with the edge
4. Gouge out eyes with the handle end
5. Force the whole spoon down the neck to cause suffocation
6. Wedge the spoon sideways into the mouth; the shaft will make eating impossible; death by starvation will follow
7. Fill a room with spoons and, when the door is opened, the spoon avalanche will certainly carry the opener to their doom
8. Stretch a large piece of bungy cord till it is tight, place spoons along its length and let it go. The spoons flying at great velocity will cut the victim to ribbons with their edges
9. Place a small explosive device on the handle end and place the bowl end near a door, edge up, the victim will enter the room, stand on bowl end, the handle end will spring up and the explosive device will fly into the face of the victim killing them instantly
10. Dig a big hole in the ground and cover it with a lot of closely woven spoons, the victim will not notice the hole, the spoons bend beneath them, and they will fall into the hole; death by starvation will follow
11. Tie your victim to an enormous spoon, then get Uri Geller to bend it, the victim's spine will snap and they will die
|15 May 2001||if you are under 13 and you want to kill yourself then you should take a barbie doll, light its hair on fire, and shove it down your throat|
|16 Feb 2001||Al||Take 2 freshly sharpened pencils from your teachers desk place them gently up your nose pointing up, then bang your head on the table untill the pencils ram into your brain and kill you.|
|26 Jan 2001||Yandoon||Buy a staplegun (the kind with the really big industrial staples) and a 2000+ psi high pressure sprayer. (You should get a friend to help you with this suicide) First, have your friend staple you to your garage door (by your wrists, legs, neck, wherever). Then have your friend hook your garden hose up to the high pressure sprayer. Have them turn on the sprayer and blast it at you. The pressure should be enough to rip your skin off. Have him keep blasting it until he makes a hole thru the other side of you (This is probably a really painful way to go). Now you are dead. Have your friend put your body in a trashbag and tell him to never get horny near your dead body because he might have sex with it.|