What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|08 Apr 2020
||Yell "Allah Akbar" in a U.S airport.
|02 Apr 2020
||Shove a industrial Fryer into your rectum
|30 Mar 2020
||Beat your meat so much your skin falls off
|30 Mar 2020
||Many of you are to young to remember the days when micheal jackson was still black. Oh those were the days. The days of prozac and cocaine. Those were the days of break dancing and when being a white supremeist was socially accepted. The days when being queer was frowned upon. It was a time when the mullet hair style was popular. It was a time when the poor people could not afford a leather jacket but it was ok because the affordable denim jacket was cool. But these days are long gone. It became uncool to be black and so micheal jackson became white. Some experts say micheal jackson turned white because at some point in time it people became afraid of the negros and this made it harder for parents to accept huge sums of money to let their children sleep over at micheals house so he could molest them. And not only the parents but also the children trusted him more. But you see micheal jackson is now tormented in hell. Demons make him dance, then rip his face off and wipe their ass with it. Then they rape him. Every single day his face grows back and it starts all over for him. Yes boys and girls the good ole days are long gone. Now we have locusts and earthquakes and hurricanes and tsunamis and sink holes and droughts and wild fires and people killing people we have popes leading masses straight to see micheal jackson. I often wonder if pope francis will get to buttfuck micheal jackson in hell or if they will just crucify the pope in hell. They both like children under 13. Just write the pope and tell him your age and that you have never been molested before and you wanted to go to the vatican for a 2 week molestation fest. Then you will want to kill yourself because he has herpes.
|21 Mar 2020
||chopping your penis off with a machete and bleeding out
|26 Jan 2020
||First, you aquire some Clorox, pull a knife from your ass, and proceed to chug some Clorox while stabbing yourself.
|22 Dec 2019
||Headbutt a nail
|19 Dec 2019
||a friendly shopper that snapped.
||The other day i went to the store. It was super busy and packed with shoppers. There was a big fat guy there who was obnoxious and being ignored because he was interrupting another customer/store associate conversation. The fat fuck didn't seem to care about waiting his turn and just started getting louder and louder asking the same series of questions. Where are the prunes? Do you have any prunes? I finally spoke up and said there are prunes over there and pointed, on aisle, don't be rude or your bowels get stopped up. Every shopper began laughing and acting shocked. The fat ass tried to act unphased but his cheeks were bright red. The guy obviously had bowel problems and probably because he eats to much. He is the kind of guy who stays single his whole life because he is so open to speak about his restroom experiences. He needs those prunes because his turds are as big as his cankles. So i met him in the parking lot with a ski mask on. I robbed him of his prunes, money, and shoes. I made him eat all his snack cakes right there telling him he was going to suffer the worst constipation he ever had. I kicked him right in his fat gut and left. Since i kept his government issued photo i.d. i went to his house. He was laying on the floor of his restroom crying from being constipated. He had been giving himself enemas. I kicked him in his fat belly again and handcuffed him. I made him eat all the food in his house. I told him his fat ass was going to die from not being able to shit. He started shaking and sobbing. I put a bag over his head and said i will come back every day and feed your fat ass until you die. I told him if one piece of shit comes out of your ass i will cut you open and tie your intestines in a knot and sew you back up and make you eat food everyday until you die. I told him i was going to take pictures and video him and send it to his mother so she could see how disgusting he is and that all this happened because he was rude in the store. If you had just been cool and not raised your voice over everyone to get your selfish way you could have enjoyed the rest of your geeky constipated life where you stay a virgin forever because you are to fat to even see your dick. But no. You think you are so important. How important will you be as a corpse with 15 kilos of dried up impacted shit inside you? Fuck you you fucking fatfucking fuckass. So tomorrow when i go back i am going to feed him oatmeal with sawdust and metal filings. Once he is impacted i am going to kick him in his rock hard impacted turd filled gut.
|06 Dec 2019
||sleeping in a government building tower nightly
||Become one of those people who do nature shows in africa. Lions or hyenas will eat you. A hippo or a crocodile. A rhino might charge you and crush you. And it is even possible a person over there might cook and eat you. You probably have a better chance of being a victim of genocide over there. Its sad how much killing is goin on. But hey, this is what you want. Because you are just too sad and prozac isnt helping.
|04 Dec 2019
||I'm your mom
||I'll teach you a way to fucking end it all. Take a couple of fucking shotguns and shot up your local church or school, the rats in those buildings deserve what's coming to them. Kill them all and burn their corpses with napalm, and watch as their fucking bodies burn to ashes. Then when all the fucking fat pigs are outside the building getting ready to tear you a new hole, go outside with a hostage, then blow your fucking brains out in front of them. This way you'll traumatize them for life. I know a thirteen year old can't even kill a goddamn fire ant, they wouldn't have the guts to do this shit.
|17 Nov 2019
||live stream it on Utube.
||Wear lots of heavy wintet clothing and jog in place saying over and over there is no place like home, no place like home until you are about to pass out then Snort hot sauce up your nose and pour it in your eyes and then jump in a bath tub full of ice water. Dont leave a note or tell anyone why.
|16 Nov 2019
||mouth, nose, ear plugs. use them at night so they all synchronize. mouth and nose plugs suffocate you while the ear plugs prevent you from hearing people screaming that their child is dying
|14 Nov 2019
||Being eaten by a sperm whale. I hear those things can make the whole pacific ocean cloudy with just one orgasam. What a tremendous feat, I am unable to do that with just one bathtub. Just a cool interesting fact, but sperm whales are the cause of oceans being so salty with their extreme multiple hour fertilization fest.
|13 Nov 2019
|09 Nov 2019
||again, i will apply to a local store called Kyles Hot Chicken. i will send a video of myself eating their product in hopes of getting their attention. they will see how much i enjoy the feast and they will hire me instantly. i have done this many times with little to no response. the CEO of this hellish mom and pop resturaunt has messaged me numerous times begging for me to quit harrasing them, but im NOT harrassing them. On sunday i will do this again, this time amping up how much i appear to like their horrid chicken. i need money and they arent complying.
|05 Nov 2019
||I was made in a laboratory in canada. There are 4 of me previous to me and i am the first of the 5th generation clones. I was made in a place called cloneaid. I had to escape because i was apart of a series of experiments that were a secret contract with china. China wants to build a super army of clones that is billions strong. They were going to cyrogenicly freeze me. I acted like i was going to go along with it but i stabed the scientist in the neck with a pen and took out his eyeball to get past the biometric security. When i escaped the the trash shoot i landed in a dumpster full of dead clone body parts. I kept a hand.
|07 Oct 2019
||Watch Squidward taking a shit from Deviantart. While your room is nothing but dark, sooner or later. Some big ass dipshit will take you to any big city in Ohio, where you will work as a cobbler for the rest of your miserable life.
|25 Sep 2019
||by shooting yourself in the head with 2 desert eagles at the same time and playing some Japanese heavy metal dubstep
|16 Sep 2019
||moehammid ali dean
||I think it may be a cultural thing. For instance if you are born and raised in the west they will tell you there is no best answer. If you are born in the middle east they will tell you the best way is with one of those special vests and that method will bring 72 virgins in the afterlife. I never understood how they got the number 72. And wont that be special. 72 virgins will only be a virgin once for all of eternity. And then no more virgins for you mr. Suicide vest guy. Unless of course, the special vest blows off your ding a ling. Then they would be a virgin forever. But the rest of the world knows the truth. The 72 virgins are actually male demons in hell with genetalia like an elephant but is rotting flesh from all the diseases and flesh rotting bacteria. They have been in hell for thousands of years and they are going to bend you over and take turns with you. You will get analy raped 72 times a day for all eternity mr. Special vest guy. And the whole time you will be whipped if you dont say haaah-la hak-bar, salami lick em, lick em salami.
|09 Sep 2019
||make it stop, just make it stop please!
||I ate a medium sized bowl of beans today at lunch. This gas is killing me. Oh its awful. Its already bad but the last bit of aroma gets worse going to a putrid burnt pop corn smell. And I am bigg ripping it every two or three minutes.