Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
11 Jul 2005 Jay Habbs dear friends, i know it gets really hard when a loved one passes away, or someone abuses you. my grandma and my dearest uncle passed away almost at the same time, and it was really hard for me. i had to go to drug/alcohol rehab because i wanted to kill myself. i know now that life can be made much better through hard work and perseverance. it is really hard when your parents etc. hit you and stuff. it is REALLY hard but you have to pull through. for if you kill yourself you are letting them win; you are letting all the abusers, bullies, molesters win. please call someone, call the cops if someone touches you inappropriately or tries to molest/abuse you. tell your school authorities; if they don't listen call 911 in USA, for they will take action against the oppressor. believe me if your family members act like nazi-idiots on you, you must seek outside help. it is really tough to bring yourself to tell outsiders about your family problems, but it is a good option. believe me, please, your friends can be a big help. you can always talk to me. please, at least, try to talk to some authorities, psychologists before you kill yourself. you owe it to yourself. my contact info is: j_habib05@hotmail.com , j_wizzle05@yahoo.com and iHateHippies83 for AIM. please, please, please you must tell someone about the abuses/problems in your life, for even strangers can be sometimes helpful. call 911 if anyone pulls anything on you.
y'know we are the people that make this word a wonderful place. us youth. we must not let our oppressors be the better of us.
07 Jul 2005 TREATMENT Depression is more common than you think and most people who receive treatment for depression get better. Unfortunately, many people who are depressed don't get help. There are many reasons people don't get help. Some people think that seeking treatment is a sign of weakness. Others are afraid to be seen as "crazy" for seeing a counselor or taking medication. Some people feel that their thoughts and feelings aren't important enough to bother others with. Don't be one of these people!

Depression is real and with help you can get better. Remember that you are a worthwhile person who deserves to be heard and understood. Making the choice to get help is the first step to overcoming depression and being the best you can be!
07 Jul 2005 LINKS PLEASE READ. www.adamspage.com - Wonderful site. Highly recomendedfor anyone. Has loads of great links as well. It also has an email address so you can contact Sue. Sue is very caring and dedicated. Highly recommended if you are in need of support.

http://www.mcmanweb.com A very good site, this has loads of useful articles about bipolar and depression.

www.geocities.com/sky_blu_grl/comein Great site, veyr personal. Poetry, and writing also on the site. Definatly recommended!

www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury This is a very good site that I certianly recommend. Very imformative and can answer questions

www.wingofmadness.com - Wonderful site, very imformative. If you are a teenager with depression I recomend cheching it out, it has an article for teenagers with depression and it helped me a lot (www.wingofmadness.com/articles/teens.htm). It also has a good article for if you are a friend or relative of someone with depression (www.wingofmadness.com/articles/someone.htm). Can answer questions and emails but doesn't garuntee.

www.allexperts.com/browse.asp?Meta=321 - This is very good if you feel alone. It has a list of people who you can contact who have medical degrees, have gone through it themselevs or are just very caring people. This link is for depression and sucicide. The link here: www.allexperts.com/browse.asp?Meta=237 is for bipolar disorder.

depression.about.com - This is very informative with loads of links. Maybe it is a little overwhelming if you need information quick because it is a massive site wiv hundreds of links on it.

www.psycom.net/depression.central.html - This is a very good site with a lot of links on. Again it may be a little overwhelming. It has a good page with hints for speeding up recovery: www.psycom.net/depression.central.hints.html

www.channel4.com/health/microsites/H/health/magazine/mind/self-harm.html - Lots of clear information with the basic facts of self harm. If you go to the 'pick a feature' bar you will find more articles about depression, bipolar disorder, suicidal feelings, and more. At the bottom of each article it lists webpages and contacts where you can seek help or find out more.


www.bbc.co.uk/health/mental/suicide.shtml - Good basic information about suicide and also a link for self harm (www.bbc.co.uk/health/mental/selfharm.shtml)

www.worldwidedepressioncoalition.com - Depression web forums.

http://members.tripod.com/~dudley_delaney/index-28.html - Edgar Cayce

Helplines websites and contact information

www.samaritans.org - If you ever need to talk, these are the people to go to. They have centers based all around the UK and they are always there, even when no one else is. I have recently discoverd them and they have certainly helped me ALOT towards recovery. Unfortunatly they don't give advice and can only listen. Everything is confidential.
EMAIL: Jo@samaritans.org
TEL UK: 08457 90 90 90
TEL Republic of Ireland: 1850 60 90 90

www.uk-sobs.org.uk (SOBS - Survivors of bearevement by suicide) - Helpline for people who has lost a loved one through suicide in the UK.
TEL: 0870 241 3337

www.Sane.org.uk - Has leaflets on Talk therapies that inform you on the varoius psychological therapies. They have phone numbers for certain areas so check out there site for the number for your area.

Childline - 0800 11 11
Search engine submission
www.addpro.com - Submit your URL to more than 120 of the most popular search engines on the web. You can also create meta tags for your site.
06 Jul 2005 P CJ if you are still alive belive me I understand your pain. Why dont you email me:

hesalonerarebelyeah@hotmail.com
04 Jul 2005   was bullied, mostly verbally, from between the ages of 11 and 16, I was forced to leave school early (aged about 15 1/2) because of this and forsake my education which was going nowhere anyway due to constant disruptions from these "ignorant sadistic scum". That's right 12 years later and I haven't forgiven or forgotten this and I expect I'll carry this "baggage of hate" around with me for as long as I live, When I was around 17 and 18 I used to plot killing these people but I'm not that type of person to actually carry something like that out. A few years back I registered with friends reunited (in my case enemies reunited) and was depressed to see my tormentors posting things like:-

"I'm now with xxx the love of my life and our little boy xxx living in xxx and I work as a <really good job> hope to get into contact with all my good friends" etc.

I can only advise people in my position: Do not register with this site! why register? what do you want to know?!

I know these success stories can be a load of bull but it still makes me angry to read it. And I just think that knowing my luck they're true. As you've guessed I don't wish these people well in their lives.

I know what it is to be bullied and I sympathise with others that experience the same. All I can say is don't stand for it, retaliate and don't let them destroy your life. Don't do what I did and let everyone cr@p all over you, it's not worth it. Changing school/college/workplace is better if you really don't want to face the problem.

My bullying was mostly verbal and during my schooldays, I was called "gay" (which was false) and isolated from other people. I was tormented and picked on constantly, my mother and my family were insulted and so was I. I cried but they had no pity for me. It continued until I could take no more. I'd fake illness in order to avoid school and in the end I used to bunk off because my parents, not understanding the situation, forced me to go.

I'd hate for anyone else to go through what I went through, it has affected my entire life and I know I can never live like a normal person again... god I have tried.

If anyone wants to contact me about this feel free I am a good listener and I will try to help you out of this seemingly inescapable situation, through conversation, if I am able. Post and ask for my email address if you need help. If you are being bullied out there take heart you're not alone and people can advise you and help you
25 Jun 2005 Suicide Survivor "Suicide only makes sense to the suicidal." Specht
"Pain is only bearable if we know it will end...not if we deny it exists." Frankl
We grieve for our loss and for our inability to spare each other a pain so deep and so wide that words fail to express its true size.
~~Robert Smith
When sorrow has no words it expresses itself in the body.
Memories are bitter treasures, when each one is clue.
~~Christine Smith
Who knows the battles they won before they lost the war?
So I find words I never thought to speak ~ T.S. Eliot
"My brother shot himself.
He is dead.
I am a survivor of suicide."
~ Me. (Marna)
Pain so deep and buried within that we don't find out until we bury them. ~ Nancy Hodges
How Many Suicides Does It Take to Change the World?
~~Christine Smith
Oysters accept pain and make of it a pearl.
We should all be wealthy beyond our dreams.
~~Christine Smith

So these are the words of Suicide Survivors. Please take some time nd visit http://www.1000deaths.com Each person who takes their life die one death, but those lest behind die a thousand deaths trying to put the pieces back together. We must learn to understand why so many turn to suicide as a last resort...we will never understand if we condemn them for making such a decision and we will never understand if we haven't walked in their shoes. In the words of a dear friend of mine: "You don't know hell until you've walked a mile in my shoes on a good day." Calling them selfish, cowards, and weak makes no difference in this world at all. It only proves that there are much weaker people out there who think it is okay to kick people when they are already down.

After all, it is the strong who don't survive. They are lead to believe that they should just 'grin and bear it.' Try treating cancer by grinning and bearing it!

With that said, think twice before you call someone a coward. Who is the real coward? Help someone out of the hole they are in instead of covering them with dirt.

To those of you in pain.....if you have no one to talk to, email me. I will not condemn you for even thinking of suicide. I know how it feels to die alone and to live in pain....alon. Since my son too his life, I am left to keep his legacy alive. So email me if you need any support at all. Every life is a treasure. Don't forget to visit www://1000deaths.com Thanks for reading this. Happiness will come tomorrow if you let it.
24 Jun 2005 Tala *Clears throat* I'm 15, not 13. I've had thoughts of killing myself since I was nine or ten something like that. I've actually done it and died two times, the doctors brought me back. Let me tell you some shit, cause I've died. I know. Believe me or not I dont care I'm giving hard facts. When you die there is nothing. NOTHING and sometimes you may think nothing is better than something, but it isn't. Really, it isn't. When you die it's like your closeing your eyes.. Only forever. You see nothing feel nothing hear, and see nothing. Since I was 6 I've been beaten, raped and done different drugs givin to me by family or friends. My brother would rape me everynight untill he moved away. I'm still beaten by my parents. I still do think about suicide. It's something that enters my mind everyday. Everynight. Just a large cut across the neck I think to myself about that. I don't have many friends, but you need to learn to stop listening to the world, honestly... Who cares what others think? Who cares what others do to you to make you feel this way? Stop careing, and let go. If your parents beat you, pick up the phone foster homes aren't that nice no, but it's normaly slightly better or way better then home life. If you are raped once again, call the cops get them in jail. Do not turn to drugs, it doesn't do much but make you forget for a while, feel good for a while, then come down and feel like a total piece of shit, probably something you felt worse then off the drugs. Sucide, I'm sure you've heard this line many times, and I shall repeat it to you, suicide is not the only answer. I've had friends around me die people who you thought never cared do infact care. They're just scared to ask you whats wrong or anything. Call someone, suicide hotline is always open and you can always talk to them there, and they'll help you. Honestly, you ask for an answer out of it, your life, your emotions things like that. But thats not going to make you a stronger person, you need to talk to someone, get help get back on the right road. It's better trust me. I still get beaten I still get raped. But I don't sit and just let it happen anymore, no I do something about it. An officer may not like you but when it comes to something like this, they must do it and if they refuse, you can get them fired.Officers may be a pain in the fucking ass (Trust me I know) But they fucking do care it's they're job. It's what they want to do for a living is help people and make lives easier and better and happier and safer.I hope you read this, I hope you read it well. I'm a councler for kids at my school. I'm not going to lecture you anymore, I'm not going to tell you not to do it, it's your life... But trust me it does indeed get better if you try to make it better. But if you want a friend yes friend. I'll be your friend no matter what if you want to talk with you can IM me at angelofdeath3789 for AIM bloodandwar300@hotmail.com or bloodandwar400 on YIM my email is bloodandwar400@yahoo.com and I'm normaly on a lot. I'll always get back to you if I'm not though. Stick with it kids, it all gets better and turns out it's not that bad on the other side when you 18.

-Tala-
23 Jun 2005 madz Well, I want everyone to know that I have had a hard life...but after reading the other responses I know that I’m not alone in the way I feel about life. When I was 14 my father took me to England and while in a hotel he raped and beat me...this is where my life went downhill. I was scared emotionally and physically. I began to cut myself and cry myself to sleep every night. I wanted someone to help me "snap-out-of-it" (as my mother puts it). Now, I am 16 and nothing has changed...my father hasn’t touched me but it is as if he's forgotten what he did to me. I haven’t cut myself in a couple of weeks but every time something happens that I can’t handle...I begin to hurt my self.

At the moment...my boyfriend talks to me about things that help me keep positive and he allows me to talk for hours about what I hate about life and he never tells me to shut-up. I feel the best way to commit suicide it to kill your old self (as crazy as that sounds)...the way I was before, I was well on the way to slitting my wrists. But now I have changed, I have a steady life with help from the only person I trust...as strange as it sounds...but discarding your past you can help shape your future

Anyone who is 13 or under and wants to kill themselves...maybe all you crave is a companion...I am always available to chat if that’s what will help you consider you best option. Please write to me (babychickie20@hotmail.com) anytime you feel like and tell me what’s on your mind. I’m not qualified or anything but I am experienced in getting through the pain. Please do not do anything to drastic...talk to me or someone you trust first...you’ll see how much you really are needed.
20 Jun 2005 samantha well my name is samantha. on may 17th my father commited suicide. well he was my step father but he seemed more then that to me. i really dont care about this website. and how its named what is the best way to kill yourself when your under 13. what kind of title is that. it is very hard for family members to deal with suicide. it leaves them with questions that can not be answered. this whole thing that theres a suicide toy box thing what are people trying to teach kids these days. just because some people are not happy dont mean everyone else isnt. please dont be mad when u read this just write me back and let me know how you feel.
19 Jun 2005 Suicide The best way to kill yourself? Well we know so much but before you do....HEAR US OUT....WE'RE HERE TO HELP, OUR SITE IS NOW UPDATED, PARENTS, SUICIDAL TEENS, ANYONE.......it won't really hurt trying would it? ... WWW.SUICIDE.CJB.NET > > > T E E N A G E A D V I S U A L S E R V I C E, all data we hear is kept 100% confidential under the 1998 Data act
07 Jun 2005 josh obviously if you havent killed yourself yet there is still something inside you saying i want to live i just need a reason.
heres your reason.
BIGPAPAJOSHY@AOL.COM email me. tell me what your problem is rather than post it on this site and get 50 emails that are condeming you for the way you feel inside. i will talk to you and try to sort thru some of the mess in your life and try to come up with a real solution to your problems rather than just saying you need medication and counselling.
07 Jun 2005 Nylphada (SYS/AS) When your heart would have explosed...
When tears will run done your cheeks...
When suicide will leave a sour taste in your mouth...
I'll be there... we will be there we are the the suicidal youth services team... we would love love to hear your story... and of course help you make the best decison

Nylphada

www.suicidalyouthservices.piczo.com
suicidalyouthservices@hotmail.com
07 Jun 2005 Azalia what the hell is this? are you seriously even thinking about 13 year old kids killing them selves? I have a little sister whose 13 and I cant event hink about it. I thought about suicide, I had a pretty rough life, you know the usual, born to a teen mom, lived in a motel til 13, step dads a crack head, real dads a dead beat alcoholic, never raped...but i was continually molested from age 6 to 11 by a bunch of teenage boys who lived down stairs. Dont ever give up. Ever. It will get better if you want it to. Go to high school. Get into college. Make bank. Live your life to the fullest and have kids and make their lives wonderful. Suicide? How do you know whats on the other side? you dont. be a good kid. you dont know if there is a heaven or hell. your to young to die. you all mean something to someone. so if you dont want to live for you. live for someone else. your kids. life hasnt started. I thought I knew it all when I was in high school. I didnt. College came in a flash. Life gets better if you want it to. I promise. Get good grades in school. go to college. It makes the world of a difference. Dont ever give up on life.
06 Jun 2005 Andrew There is no way to kill your self cause u shouldnt kill ur self at 13 or there for any age you should live ur life free and happy i am not trying to be your mother adn tell u what to do but be smart and let me try to talk u out of it!! email me at ghettopimp0914@yahoo.com or im me at ghettopimp0914
06 Jun 2005 Joyce, mum of Karen If you are thinking about suicide ... read this first.

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It
will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad
feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only
someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I dont know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that
for the moment, you are reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you
are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it
were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit
with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart.

But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this. I have
known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some
small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to
reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short.

While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple,
practical things I would like to share with you. I wont argue with you
about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are
thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, youre still reading, and thats very good. Id like to ask you to
stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that youre at least
a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really
will end your life.

Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being
unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at
this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even
while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to
live. So lets
hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.>

Start by considering this statement:

~ Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping
with pain.?

Thats all its about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or
flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesnt even mean that you really want
to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right
now.

If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if
I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing.

(Thats why its useless for someone to say to you, cheer up! - of course
you would, if you could.)

Dont accept it if someone tells you, thats not enough to be suicidal
about". There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or
not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be
bearable
to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain
becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have.

Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. When pain
exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is
neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally
neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources. You can
survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:

(1) find a way to reduce your pain, or

(2) find a way to increase your coping resources.

Both are possible. Now I want to tell you five things to think about.
>
1 The first thing you need to hear is that people do get through this --
even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there
is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this
information gives you some sense of hope.

2 The next thing I want to suggest to you is to give yourself some
distance. Say to yourself, I will wait 24 hours before I do anything. Or a
week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just
because you feel like killing yourself, doesnt mean that you have to
actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal
feelings and suicidal action.

Even if its just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by
reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read
this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you
are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I
hope it is to you.

3 The third thing is this: people often turn to suicide because they are
seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to
be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek,
if you are dead.

4 The fourth thing is this: some people will react badly to your suicidal
feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually
increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by
saying or doing thoughtless things.

You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not
about you. But there are people out there who can be with you in this
horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a
hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply
care
for you.

Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone
whats going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try
<AHREF="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm">The Samaritans</A>
by
phone or e-mail worldwide, or look in the front of your phone book for a
crisis line), call a psychotherapist, carefully choose a friend or a
minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen.

But dont give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this
alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful
lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you
need to regain your balance.

5 The last thing I want you to know right now is this: Suicidal feelings
are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to
continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the
various self-help groups available both in your community and on the
Internet
and various online services.

Well, its been a few minutes and youre still with me. Im really glad.
Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should
reward yourself by giving yourself a gift.

The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near
the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more
coping resources than you have pain. So lets give you another coping
resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping
resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find
someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you
got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one.

Hopefully the first person you choose wont be the last. There are a lot of
people out there who really want to hear from you. Its time to start
looking around for one of them.

Now: Id like you to call someone.

05 Jun 2005 The Four Horsemen Listen to me.

A lot of religious types say you will go to hell for committing suicide. Whatever god you may believe in, I don't think he would be cruel enough to give you a life of pain and suffering, provide you with an easy way out, and then condemn you for taking it. If god really is that spiteful, I'd rather go to hell than heaven anyway.

Still, I don't think suicide is the way out, but I probably only think that because my life is pretty good right now. All those people who don't understand suicide or make cruel jokes about it have a good life, and that's why they can never understand how truly painful life is for some people. I used to hate my life, and I fantasised about suicide for a time, but I learnt to rise above.

Some people with pain in their lives see no purpose in life. Others turn to religion to provide purpose. If you find strength in religion, good for you. But for some, the dictates of religion go against reason. We live in a cold world, where great pain and suffering is possible. What god would endure that?

Nevertheless, here we are, for better or worse, and whatever it was that caused the universe (or universes) to form, which you may call god if you like, decided that you should exist too. We would all like to give meaning to that reality, and the best I can come up with is this: the meaning of life is to live, and no more or less than that. So live. Even though LIFE=PAIN as we all know, as humans our great strength is our ability to endure. To go on. To keep looking up, in spite of a cold world that seeks to drag us down. I don't accept bullshit from anybody, and neither should you. Every time someone kicked me down I stood up. I'm still standing.

Society tells you it's wrong to hate, but I'm here to tell you that it's ok to hate when you've been hurt. I don't want to turn any of you into serial killers, but if you see yourself as a victim you will never be happy. Don't turn your hate against yourself. Hate the world that has betrayed you. Hate everyone that has ever kicked you down. Don't let go of the hate that makes you strong. The time for weakness is over. Remember, you are the greatest person to ever walk the face of the earth - until you believe that you will never be happy. Nurture an arrogance inside of you, a real sense of entitlement.

And keep looking up.
05 Jun 2005 there is hope hi my name is robert. i have never met you but i want you to know that i love you enough that i took some of my own time to post this so you could have the opurtunity to know there is hope. i almost hung myself once. and today i tell you i am so glad i didnt do it. i have three children and a beautiful wife named karen. i have a nice home, not to big but its big enough. i have three cars, one is new. but most importantly i have happiness. i wake up in the morning and i am glad to be alive. and i want to help you to find this same happiness. my life has not always been like this and matter in fact most of my life i was suicidal and deppressed. today the joy i have in life is way better than all the hurt i ever felt. if i had to go thru it again just for a moment of what i have today i would. i beg you please do not use this misfourtune in your life to do something negitive. use your pain to fuel you to make right choices and positive steps in life to better yourself to finnaly achieve what you want in life. if you want to write me an email please do. robert@gmail.com is my email. i promise you that if you write i will not ever give up on you. i will keep on writing you for years if neccasary to help you get on the right track. maybe you just need some positive reienforcement in your life. a true friend. well my name is robert. you can email me at robert@gmail.com
03 Jun 2005 Eric Hey,
I know where most of you are coming from and its almost impossible for just one person to turn around all your feelings. Theres nothing I can say to make all your problems dissappear. In the end your the only person that can change the way you feel and I know it can be difficult. Ive been where all of you have and ive cut and tried suicide. I know some of you are here for help and want someone to talk to, so if you do, feel free to e-mail me and we can talk a little bit. I used to have the e-mail prorally007@yahoo.com so Ive ive talked to you before and lost touch, please e-mail me too at cautionoverjump@yahoo.com Thanks!
30 May 2005 Ben Dear Mouchette,

I have received an email from you today concerning a post I have made a couple days ago on your site. I must say I didn’t know you emailed people so it was a surprise. Anyway, I do not think my post would encourage people to kill themselves at all. All of those who come to your site, mostly by accident, are there for many different reasons. Some are here to cry for help in hopes someone would hear them. Some come here to share their deepest pain and struggles they are experiencing or have experienced. Some come to talk others out of what fate they have already decided. Then there are some who get pissed off for a site like this one to even exist and they say things they normally would not because they have lost control of their own ignorance trying to prove someone elses.

Did my post encourage anyone to attempt suicide? Maybe and maybe not. I cannot know how every person is feeling in their heart, and in their soul. We, as people, have never learned to look inside someone struggling with emotions, depression, or any other problem that becomes an endless battle. A battle that is far too incessant to be fought alone but it always is. We always search for physical pain inside someone in need of help. Tears maybe. Scars and bruises of course. But the problem is never found on the outside. The tears, the scars, the pain that can be seen, does not matter. What matters lies beneath that bruised skin. Those bruises are only a manifestation of the aching force underneath that frowning face. When tears cry themselves to sleep, when they rest upon your dampened pillow, when they leave trails of diamond streams flowing weightlessly towards your chin, when you are alone in the midst of the echoes of your very own cries, when you know the pain that floods your heart and drowns your soul, in the end, it is a pain no one will understand but you. It is a pain you know too well. It is a storm that crushes the wings that lifted you up. Suicide becomes the only way to fix the wings that have been fractured by that violent storm. Why? Suicide brings you the answers no one else will bring. I cannot speak for everyone, every ounce of sorrow flowing against our hearts is diverse and unique in its own way. But It has the same agonizing effect to every human being.

So I guess what I have been trying to explain is there are many things that influence a person in his/her decision to commit suicide. It is not a decision that happens over night. It happens when pain becomes unbearable, and our eyes become blinded by the empty happiness and comfort suicide brings. It takes the pain away when nothing on this earth will. It takes years of anguish and heartache away in one jump, one cut, one pill. It is a way out we find when the roads we travel lead to nowhere. Hope whatever I wrote shed some light on whoever out there is struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide. It is not the tear we should see, it is the drops of sorrow inside that tear. Please post this mouchette. Ben. If anyone needs advice or anything….I’m here. Ben.
29 May 2005 shawntay briylee what can i say?

i dont want you to kill yourself.
need a friend. someone to talk to?
email me. sbriley33@yahoo.com
i have tried to commit suicide before. i may have not been in your shoes but i have felt similar feelings and emotions. please email me. when you do i will give you my phone number and you can call me collect if you want. please before you kill yourself contact me. its ok and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. let me help you. what do you have to lose?

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