|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|17 Oct 2001||mesexymomma||eat lots of pink twinkies while jumping off your momma's knee.|
|13 Oct 2001||Jed....really, no, really||Since you're talking about a toy for children, I would suggest that the box should contain numerous bottles full of brightly colored liquids (non-toxic, of course) with labels like cyanide, arsenic, propylene glycol (this one should be a brilliant green), etc. Also in the kit should be several bottles of small pills (made of sugar), 2 or 3 razor blades (rubber ones), a hangman's noose (also made of rubber), a small map with instructions on how to get to the observation deck of the Empire State Building (this should be erroneous), automobile jumper cables (fake ones) for electrocuting oneself, and, of course, a large (plastic) rock with a pair of handcuffs attached to it by a large eyebolt (instructions to use in a deep body of water should be included). Because this would be a fairly big box, it should only be marketed to the really large-scale toy retailers, and the box should have a warning along the lines of: do not purchase for children who are already getting ideas, unless, of course, you hate them.
Alternately, you could LABEL the various chemicals and pills non-toxic, while in fact they are exactly what they claim to be... I would not suggest this for more than one box in every 30 or so.
Of course, if you just want ideas on how you could kill yourself, and not several thousand small children, you could email me...
|28 Sep 2001||andromedor||find some lizards with little machine guns and make them watch really violent movies, then eat them when they are alive whilst you sit on the washing machine when it is on spin cycle!|
|26 Sep 2001||fucked up bitch||THE BEST SUICIDE METHOD EVA!!!!!
Go to WEST KIRBY GRAMMAR SCHOOL, ENGLAND. Choose TEXTILES for GCSE or A-level (even better!!) and get Mrs William as the teacher. DIE A HORRIBLY, EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL DEATH!!!!!!!
|22 Sep 2001||rachel||Stuff a teddy bear down your throat.|
|07 Sep 2001||sal||i think it would be interesting to try to overdose on nutmeg. the spice, nutmeg, can get you very high in small amounts, but claims are made that it can be fatal. Since i have never heard of anyone dying from ingesting nutmeg, i don't know if this claim is valid. But it would be worth a shot, cause if it didn't work, you'd just be really stoned. That canister of regular ground nutmeg in the spice cabinet should do nicely.|
|14 Jul 2001||jason||you cannot kill yourself until you are 13 or older. Once you reach the provisional age of 13 - you may only do so on Friday the 13th. If that should happen during your thirteenth year - you may only do so by visiting 13 churches of Catholic sanction - and you must divulge thirteen sins to each of these 13 churches. Upon the admission of your one hundred and sixty-ninth sin - if found truly unworthy of life - you will be consumed by caustic fires that radiate from your heart and consume you into a pithy blither of ash.
This is the only way.
|23 Jun 2001||Myri||After much thought i have decided the best way to kill yourself has got to be drowning in a giant churning vat filled with chocolate, singing God save the queen and wearing a suit made of razor blades so as you are churned you are also severed!|
|21 Jun 2001||suicidegentleman||sauter d'une falaise en sautant a la corde|
|19 Jun 2001||Moore-Bid||The best way to kill yourself when you are under 13 is to go to a laundry mat, crawl into a heavy duty washing machine and tape a note and some quarters to the door asking for someone to please deposit coins for wash. Make sure you remind them to shut the door tight and to add fabric softner during the second rinse. Now you will be dead and squeaky clean.|
|04 Jun 2001||Velvet||Live until you get into high school. Then, let the teachers, cool kids, your parents, and the guidance counselors slowly kill your soul. As you get horrible grades and your parents keep on harrassing you about how you are "ruining your future," you will be alive, but not actually living. Pretty soon, you'll go insane and shove hot burning coals into your eyes at Christmas.
Another way you could die would be to work yourself to death. Never have fun, just work, work, work, work, etc.
Finally, (this is my favorite way) you could walk into school one day, get on the intercom and request that everybody come to the auditorium, proceed to tell everybody that they suck, and then shove two sharpened number two pencils up your nostrils. They must be number two or else it won't work right.
|27 May 2001||hell's devil||get a lollipop and swallow it. it's not your fault cause your parents are letting you have candy. :) also why you're brushing your teeth swallow the toothpaste and toothbrush. it's not really a suicide cause you wouldn't have done it if your parents didn't make you brush your teeth! :)|
|07 Apr 2001||jorgen||eating your toy train might be a good start|
|07 Apr 2001||todd||eat barbie dolls untill you choke|
|12 Feb 2001||bodrell spicer||the kit contains a bracelet made of razor blades, which you can secure on your wrist and spin it around, so make a nice clean cut all the way around. Or the blade could be spun with a motor.|
|08 Feb 2001||Twist of Faith||Get yourself a Knife and have your friend jump on your back and slit your throat ear to ear then stick a CO2 cartridge in your sternum then stick little bars or soap down your throat so that when they pop you head back a bar of soap comes out. HUMAN PEZ DISPENSER|
|05 Jan 2001||melo||jouer à cache-cache avec son petit frère et se cacher dans le lave-linge (si on est pas trop gros), attendre qu'il arrive, comme il est petit, il ne sait pas ouvrir la machine à laver alors il appuie sur le bouton qui la met en marche, si les parents ne sont pas là il y a des chances de succès.|
|08 Dec 2000||Jay||Fill your pockets with candy and jump off of a building... that way not only do you die, but the kids at the bottom get a nice little treat.|
|24 Nov 2000||gm9||Are the ways are supposed to be different for a 13 years old? But maybe you could commit suicide in a Toys-R-us, by a bloody way, like making a deep cut in your neck from one ear to the other with a razorblade (or a very sharp knife). With this way, they would speak of you on CNN.|
|22 Nov 2000||hasbro||well..i would try toys. they all seem to be pretty deadly. you could ride one of those hip new scooters around for a while until you hit a curb making the scooter spark which ignites your pants. .. maybe you could buy a nintendo and have a fatal seizure.
if i were you... i would buy all the legos i could afford, get some strong glue, and build a fortress around yourself. then you can starve to death, or , if you built it really well, you can suffocate. in the end you also have a nifty mausoleum. have a happy suicide!!