|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|09 May 2000||Aaron||cross my path|
|06 Apr 2000||Paradigm Shift||This method works best if you want a prolonged, dramatic death (aka "The Sixth Sense Death"): Hide a bottle of cleaner under your bed. Come down with a slight cold, and ask for a coke in bed. Add cleaner, enough to make you sick, but not enough to kill you. You will fall ill. Ask for food in bed, either claim to be or actually be too sick to make your own. Keep adding cleaner to your food, until you want to end it. Call your parents/friends into your room, say you don't feel good, and pretend to sleep. When they leave, drink the rest of the cleaner.
This method is shorter, but no less dramatic (aka "the Sketchbook Death"): sit down on a public bench near a busy street with a notepad or sketchbook, and begin to draw or write, either poetry or dark charcoal drawings. After about an hour, jerk your head up, cry, either real or pretend, throw off your clothes and jump into traffic.
This one is my favorite (aka "The New Age Death"): For an hour, light incense in your room. Being alone is NECESSARY. Clear your mind. All your pain, all your life is just a memory, and even that's fading. All that's left is the ache for the next world. For an hour, concentrate on that ache. Either it will consume you, or reach for an old dagger that lay beside you, and thrust it into your heart.
|06 Apr 2000||Martin||Give children a box to play with with two big buttons on it; if you press one button someone else will die, if you press the other you will commit suicide.
But the buttons change properties....
|05 Apr 2000||LAI||:::: walt kept backups of himself everywhere ::::: but at least one ::: had to be active at any given point ::::::::: walt was only RAM ::::: ROM doesn't lend itself to consciousness ::: he lived on a knifes edge :::::::: knife switch perhaps :::::: as soon as power was cut he disappeared :::::: nobody ever knew if it was a suicide or a murder ::::::|
|05 Apr 2000||yesno||in my house, if you wanted to kill yourself the easiest way to do it would be to NOT take out the trash. Let it fest for a few days and then mom will have no choice but to kill you. This is much like the 'death by cop' suicides we've been seeing lately.|
|17 Mar 2000||joey||The best way is to be the first human being to get stretched into spaghetti by crossing the event horizon of a black hole.|
|21 Feb 2000||The dude||Embarrassment|
|16 Feb 2000||babyblue||The best way to kill yourself when your under 13, is to hang yourself, but you have to have the rope tricked so that you give the rope to a baby, and they can let go of the rope. When the rope is let go, the baby will waving bye bye to oldest child.|
|15 Feb 2000||F Biss||plug your orthodontic retainer into the wall socket|
|13 Feb 2000||Guy||Eaten by a cat !|
|02 Feb 2000||Miki||Dear Mouchette,
Dress yourself like a cat and go to the cat carpet shop.
|26 Dec 1999||Rockit||Twisted dear, mail me and chat...|
|22 Dec 1999||roy||Fearing the fact that I am apparently quoting a movie - I will proceed...
::the world is more interesting with you in it::
|20 Dec 1999||JULIE ELLISON AND TAYLOR JEWELL HENSLEY||The 101 Best, Most Clever, and Most Disturbing Ways to Kill CREATED AND PRESENTED BY:
~JULIE ELLISON AND TAYLOR JEWELL HENSLEY~
C 1999 Happy Days Inc.
1. Slit your wrists.
2. Drink cleaning supplies.
3. Put your dad's rifle in your mouth and shoot.
4. Cut yourself along several major arteries and slowly bleed to death.
5. Fill the bathtub up with hot water and get in. Go underwater & breathe until I say stop.
6. Give yourself a homemade tattoo with toxic silver pen.
7. Fill the bathtub up. Grab a toaster & plug it in. Get in the bathtub and bring the toaster with you. Push down the button & enjoy!
8. Boil several gallons of water on the stove and "accidentally" spill it all on yourself.
9. Bash your head in with a hammer.
10. Get an axe from the woodpile & split yourself in half.
11. Use your telekinetic powers to make the house fall apart.
12. Tease the elevator by not letting it close until it buzzes loudly. Stand in the door's way and let it close.
13. Break a mirror. Take two sharp pieces of the glass and shove them in your eyes, hard and deep.
14. Shove a Chef's knife up your butt.
15. Kill someone else and plead for death by lethal injection.
16. Break a bottle of wine on a table and shove it in your stomach.
17. Have your best friend run you over with a steamroller.
18. Turn on the iron until water dances on surface. Put it on several places on your body, keeping it in each place for at least 45 seconds.
19. Jump off a building, aiming carefully to impale yourself on a lamppost.
20. Drive a wooden stake in your heart.
21. Induce vomiting until you black out and slip into a coma. This coma should last for several months, in which time your family will certainly decide to pull the plug.
22. Put your pinky, as well as any other digits that will fit, into an electrical socket.
23. Purposely catch your clothing in the escalator at a local mall and fight off anyone who tries to help. Enjoy the ride!
24. Swallow vanilla bath beads.
25. Drop a lit match down your throat.
26. Eat three tubes of toothpaste - and I'm not talking about trial size.
27. Hang yourself in your closet with an electrical cord.
28. Unbend a coat hanger and slowly & carefully shove it up your nose.
29. Crash a car into a department store window displaying a nativity scene. Merry Christmas!
30. Lodge your head in the toilet bowl and flush mercilessly.
31. Get your hand caught in the CD-ROM drive and attempt to cut it off with a dull pocketknife.
32. Make a pipe bomb and blow up your house with you inside, of course.
33. Stuff toilet paper down your throat until you choke.
34. Eat baby powder.
35. Eat deodorant.
36. Take a walk in the ghetto with a giant boom box blasting Vanilla Ice.
37. Anger a cannibal.
38. Drown yourself in a spoon full of water.
39. Get a friend to throw a few CDs Frisbee-style at your stomach and throat.
40. Swallow fifteen razor blades.
41. Drink 2 bottles of cough syrup.
42. Lock yourself in a room. After you've eaten the carpet and peeled the paint off the walls for a snack, you'll eventually starve.
43. Swerve into the left rear wheels of a moving transfer truck on your bike.
44. Break a battery open and pour it into a glass of Dr. Pepper and drink it.
45. Live on top of an active volcano.
46. Piss off O.J. Simpson.
47. Eat a string of Christmas Tree lights.
48. Give yourself a million paper cuts--if the paper cuts don't kill you, the counting will.
49. Nail yourself to the side of a federal building.
50. Scalp yourself. If you're not dead, make photocopies.
51. Cry your eyes out:literally.
52. Burn plastic and breathe in the toxic fumes.
53. Charge into a big screen TV.
54. Lag behind when participating in a Bull Run.
55. Walk around in downtown New Jersey with a Target store shirt on.
56. Smash your head in the safe door again & again & againÉ
57. Spray a bottle of air freshener up your nose and inhale at the same time.
58. Eat a dog with heartworms raw.
59. Strategically place yourself in the middle of a very busy intersection at rush hour during daylight savings time while wearing a tight, black jumpsuit, being ever so careful to hit every car you see.
60. Go to a horse race and jump out in front of the leading horse screaming at the top of your lungs, "I'm a pony! I'm a pony!"
61. Make like Sonny Bono when on a skiing trip.
62. Get run over by an ostrich.
63. Get naked and lay on 12 150-watt light bulbs, then flip the switch.
64. Cut off all your fingers then write a ten-page report on "Polyester versus Cotton Fabrics" with the stubs.
65. Get pregnant and then have your mother perform an emergency C-section just for kicks.
66. Jam a toothbrush in your bellybutton.
67. Brush your teeth with a MACH 3 razor.
68. Drill a hole in your head.
69. Find a huge pine tree. Cut it down with a chainsaw while standing in its falling path.
70. Skinny-dip in a shark tank with your favorite rubber ducky.
71. Drive with a rabid monkey in your back seat.
72. Play NASCAR with an unsuspecting fellow driver.
73. Jump off the balcony in a school auditorium.
74. Smash your head through a wooden door, making sure you get plenty of splinters.
75. Jump in the way of a moving subway train.
76. Drip hot wax all over your body, then light matches and light your feet on fire. The flames will rise and consume your entire body, but before you do that, make sure you drip hot wax in your eyes & let it harden.
77. Do back flips in a mosh pit.
78. Attempt to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
79. Jump out of a moving bus window and do shoulder-rolls across the highway until you get run over.
80. Always use the wrong tool for the job.
81. Float on your back in the Anaconda River and wait.
82. Get in a pool with piranhas and have them tear off your flesh bit by bit, eating you alive.
83. Wedge yourself in the doggy-entrance on the garage door and have a friend press the "garage open" button.
84. Use a chain saw to cut out pictures.
85. Shove a TV antenna in one ear & out the other.
86. Strangle yourself with your best necklace.
87. Bite your arm and suck & swallow the blood. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
88. Perform self-quadruple bypass surgery.
89. Take out your own spleen, cook it for 2 minutes in the microwave, and eat it.
90. Cut yourself up and feed as much of you as possible to the family dog.
91. Cut off your limbs and put them in the crock-pot for your family to find. If your crock-pot isn't large enough, put extra flesh in the freezer for later.
92. Swan dive into the 10-gallon fish tank.
93. Give yourself a buzz-cut with bush shears.
94. Gather up a group of friends to push all your pressure points at the same time.
95. Make believe you're in a psychiatric facility with padded walls when you're really in a steel cage.
96. Straddle a neon sign. Don't let go, no matter what people tell you.
97. Go swimming in an oil spill. Don't forget to open your eyes under water!
98. Smash your porcelain "Precious Moments" dolls in the middle of the street and consume the large pieces left over.
99. Roll around nude in the street at noon.
100. Drink paint. Eat the stick you stirred the paint with. Drink paint thinner to wash it down.
101. Take all the pills in your medicine cabinet, along with at least one shot of every alcoholic beverage known to man and take a little nap. Don't bother waking up.
|19 Dec 1999||ROBENT||Pickles ......... seriously lots of pickles. They are easily attainable and in the correct dosage can be quite lethal.|
|19 Dec 1999||John Watkins||I believe (i before e except after c) that it doesn't matter, because you achieve the same outcome.|
|14 Dec 1999||dank||CROSS MY PATH!!|
|11 Dec 1999||doug||Jane wonders "what is the best way to keep living when you're over 87?"
Dick wept as he pondered the question.
Which do you think is more difficult?
Color Jane a bright dread-red.
Color Dick a ravished chalky-blue.
|10 Dec 1999||matthew horton||swallow a box of upholstery tacks with the cherubic animosity of captain crunch.|
|03 Dec 1999||Big fly||Very gently, with a large pink feather.
(Eventually you do kill yourself around the age of 75 from feather whipping exhaustion.) You get RSI in your wrist, and all your neighbours know you as "that strange old woman who whips herself with that large dirty pink feather."