Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
19 Oct 2004 President Bobo of the SSSS agency I would like to inform you all that the process of reviving Lucy Cortina has begun. We were unable to locate her nipples, so decided to use the caps from 2 Cola bottles. However, we have encountered a bizarre problem. Her breasts were filled with air once again, but then proceeded to inflate and deflate - up and down. Sometimes they inflate so much that we fear they may burst. We believe her breasts may have encountered a timewarp and are re-living the many stages that Lucy went though in her previous life. So, provided her breasts never actually burst, we should be safe. If anyone is aware of the full details of Lucy's Expansion Years, please let us know.

As always, we will keep you informed of the results. And thank you again Mouchette, we shall deliver Lucy to your offices in Amsterdam once she is in full working order.
19 Oct 2004 lazarusdmx I realize children are oh so smart these days, but how in the world could anyone actually believe that a 13 year old french speaking girl in amsterdam created this pastiche of post-modern garbage-shit? more likely some disaffected european fine arts student that has come to the terrible and inevitable realization that they occupy a meaningless and passe niche in the world, and, while trying to fufill the internet art requirement of their 7th year of schools final, is attempting a feat of online angst through garish and clashing backgrounds. or maybe it's an alien in the body of a french girl. or maybe it's a thirteen year old with a death wish. CLIFF YABLONSKI HATES HER, WHATEVER SHE IS, SO SHE BETTER NOT SHOW UP IN APPLETON CITY.
19 Oct 2004 Yami No idea. But when you manage it, be sure to tell us all how you did it.
18 Oct 2004 noone Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance.

Thinking about suicide but you're not sure if it's the right thing to do? Here are some tips to help you decide whether or not killing yourself is a good choice:

1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
18 Oct 2004 sleepless in ltown You know... i went out in search of a way to kill myself tonight and i'm glad I found this site. Am i still sucidal... yeah... but i'm still breathing right now. What really struck me in this site was not all the endless preachy 'don't do it... you have so much to live for... light at the end of the tunnel' shit... what really struck me was the rest of it. I find the only people that can really talk about depression are people who are truly depressed themselves. Even people who 'used' to be should shut up... i heard somewhere that the brain cannot remember physical pain... sure.. you remember it was unpleasant and you can recall a fraction of what it was like but u'll never be able to remember how the pain actually felt. I think it's the same with depression... people who have somehow gotten out of it can remember it was shitty... but they can't really 'feel' it again without becoming depressed and suicidal again. The only postings that mean anything are the people who feel like they want to die... truly want to die.. .not seeking attention. I am one of those people... but i'm a wuss. If there was a 100 percent sure and painless way to kill myself sitting here right now i'd do it. Thats what i came here looking for... but after reading through the endless postings on here... and killing a defensless fly... i'm not going to kill myself right now... maybe tomorow... I look forward to reading more posts... that's what you have to do i guess... find something u want to do tomorow night and just breathe till then.
14 Oct 2004 ? I am 12
i tried to fucking kill myself with my samurai katana my parents got to decorate my room with. when we bought it it was sharp and i thought that it was still sharp. so i hung it from my ceiling in a way so that when i cut a string and i was laying down it would behead me. i cut the string and life slowed down, i realized that i didnt want to die. the next thing i knew i felt a thud against the lower part of my head and everything went black. i woke up in in what im guessing was a few hours later
i thought wow being dead is a lot like being alive but i then realized that i was alive and my katana was dull. luckily my parents were out so they never found out about it
03 Oct 2004 Temple Je vais te donner ma recette personnelle, même si elle a échouée pour moi, elle est vraiment belle et amusante à expérimenter. Une aprés midi, il faisait beau, j'étais dans la maison de mes parents, il y avait juste mon frère avec moi j'avais à peu près 14 ans. J'ai regardé par la fenêtre, je me suis aperçue que le vent soufflait dehors, c'était triste et beau, alors j'ai voulu faire une chose triste et drôle : je suis allée chercher la boite du petit chimiste que j'avais eue pour Noël. J'ai commencé à mélanger les produits aux noms les plus impressionnants dans un tube à essai bien propre. Ensuite, je suis déscendue dans la cuisine, le tube à la main. J'ai regardé par la fenêtre, le soleil brillait, les arbres commençaient à perdre leur feuilles, le vent soufflait et j'ai vu mon chat marcher tranquillement sur la terrasse. Alors, j'ai pleuré doucement et j'ai avalé très vite le contenu du tube. J'ai mangé une banane pour que les produits restent dans mon corps et me tuent. Malheureusement, j'ai très vité été prise de vomissements, et alors que j'avais ma tête au dessus des toilettes, mon frère est arrivé effrayé et m'a demendé ce qui m'arrivait. J'avais des larmes sur les joues et je lui ai répondu en riant que je n'arrivait pas à me tuer.
22 Sep 2004 Phil Pah...we need to restore pride to the suicide room, this is getting ridiculous now. Let's all sit down in big comfy chairs, with Mouchette as the leader, handing out cups of hot chocolate, and gossiping about our preffered suicide methods. Let's all get fat and wobbly together! *group hug*

Therapy over.
20 Sep 2004 Zarathustra I am sad !
I get no attention, respect, acknowledgement. My train of life is going on dead railtracks. What is the reason to continue living when everyday is the same: boring and tedious!
Change? Alter my state? Is that what you're thinking of? I'm only complaining while being lazy? NO ! This is not whining ! What keeps me alive is that maybe sometime I'll have a chance to spend the rest of my life in solitude in the mountains. I realized life is a complete waste of time.. and not did I realize this when I was depressed but when I was having the happiest moment of my life!
20 Sep 2004 Phil Burning cats is all well and good (in fact me and my boyfriend plan to truss up my mum's cat like a turkey, lay her on her back and cook her in the oven. And then serve her as dinner for my mum, who would no doubt say "Mmmm it's lovely and tender, can I have some more?")
Anyway it's just as I've always known - the abused becomes the abuser, though instead of acting out your anger on humans in real life, you do it online. But we aren't cats and we can fight back. I would suggest you see a shrink, but I know you won't do that anyway. Sounds like you have internalised homophobia, or something (I know about it cos abuse has played a part in my life too for various reasons), it means you can be gay yet hate gays too, for a certain reason (you know why). You need to be seeing a shrink, but you don't want to... do you?

Hey everyone, I am talking to an automated robot, how sad is that? Take a look at, it's a great way to pass the time, when you are depressed and all that.
14 Sep 2004 Will Snow Well, I did the most silliest of things yesterday and tried to hang myself. Thankfully I got scared and cried. Which probably did me good. To cry that is. Anyway apologies to those that know me cos it was a selfish act and it only hurts people you really care about and i fully regret doing it. But I get really depressed. I do try to hide it. I dunno why I get depressed cos Im actually happier now than I have ever been. Ummm, somehow that doesnt sound as though it makes sense. Anyway, I will be putting my washing line in the bin when I get home. Well folks, Back to my 'House of passion'. No, No, No not me! The other residents. You would love to know what goes on....
11 Sep 2004 Phil Ooh Felicia, you know imitating Mouchette used to carry a heavy punishment...

Bollocks if they have found Lucy's body (or boobies), don't let that stupid president guy fill you full of gobshit about me. If they had found her breasts they would have inflated like one of those inflatable beds and consumed the world. Once they expand there's no stopping them... I should know. They need to be contained at all costs!
Revive Lucy? Bollocks. I searched for her for months and she was nowehere to be found.
No no, it's a hoax. Don't believe any of it.
11 Sep 2004 Mouchette Tech Support The laughing section that you witnessed was indeed operated under a midi program run by a sick hairless monkey.

A group of aardvarks got together and formed a protest. In the midst, a pig was trampled on by a herd of noisy buffalo, as a spectator recorded the squealing sounds. It was later recorded backwards to form a laughing effect.
03 Sep 2004 aneglgurl hey mouchette, when I went on your site in the library there was this laughing sound that came from my computer. the whole of the library then started laughing. you are one sick fuck!
01 Sep 2004 President Bobo of the SSSS agency I can confirm that a booby (sorry, body) was recently discovered, and on my identification of the booby (sorry, body), I found it to be that of one of our SSSS agents, Lucy Cortina. The last news I heard of her was that she and agent Danny had gone missing, and our investigation into their disappearance led us to a cryogenics lab hidden inside Mount Booby (which is incidentally shaped like a booby). We believe that the evil Dr Philville was responsible for this, as he had been hounding Danny and Lucy with death warrants. He is a bit crazy in the head and had recently escaped from a secure mental hospital, and for whatever reasons he had, wanted Lucy dead. He is still at large.
We believe that agent Danny, out of his infinate love for Lucy('s breasts), froze Lucy in the cryogenics lab so that one day, he could return to Mount Booby and bring her back to life. Agent Danny, however, is still mising - presumed dead.
Curiously, we also discovered that Lucy Cortina's right nipple was missing from her breast, and that her breasts had considerably deflated since her 'Expansion' years. We plan to revive Lucy, but as of yet we are unable to do so. This is because of the missing nipple from Lucy's breast. We need to find the nipple ASAP, as Lucy's breasts are continuing to deflate at an alarming rate. It seems that the nipples act as corks - imagine a balloon without anything to stop the air escaping - this is what is happening to Lucy's breasts. Without her breasts, there would be no point reviving Lucy as her primary function in the SSSS agency is to seduce.
If we cannot find her nipple, we shall sell the remains of her breasts on e-bay.

Thank you Mouchette, for allowing me to post this update (and I will speak to you in private later about the millions you will pay for Lucy's breasts, as I know you were somewhat obsessed with her, plus you can afford them unlike some of the paupers around here).
29 Aug 2004 Phil The gay jokes? The world has gone gay, that's why! Pink blood now oozes down the screen whenever I make a post. Mouchette is really my boyfriend, that's why he always pushes my posts into his favourite list.
28 Aug 2004 me@hook a battle that many of us face in our lives is that of awakening.

it is a battle with the self that never ends.

i have been thinking lately about the circle of pain...

and how the circle of pain within my own life has continued in different places and with different people but always with me in the core of it.

i have decided to get out of the circle of pain and try as hard as i can to invite and allow pleasure and joy and peace to touch me inside.

have you ever considered that some of us are self destructive and self abusive and that it draws others locked into pain towards us ... thereby deepening the circle of pain?

i have recently been thinking about this.

i was given a great gift by someone.

my own pain is what drew them full of violence and anger and self hatred towards me gripped in the circle of pain. if i had not had that inside myself some place, it would not have resonated towards me.

anger waters the seeds of anger. violence begets violence.

the addiction to eternal complacency.
28 Aug 2004 Elena There are times when the sense of self feels like a sense of utter isolation and disconnection from others. Silence screams all around me. Is there anything louder than the silent treatment from someone who no longer cares about you? Is there anything louder than the air inside a room with only your thoughts? Being alone is good because everyone's speaking voice is so loud and clear when you finally emerge from your self imposed solitude. When i meditate, all of my fear surges up inside me and i stare it down and then gaze at it steadily and extend my hand in friendship.

i am remembering Paris now. i am remembering a perfumed bath and walking the streets alone late at night and in my aloneness knowing that i was indeed home. i am remembering Jerusalem now. i am remembering walking the streets of the Old City and in my aloneness knowing that i was indeed home inside Damascus Gate. i am remembering Trondheim, and the Icelandic outback, and Oslo, and Copenhagen, and Brussels... a few of the places where i have felt i was truly home.

There are many beautiful places in my memories where i have been and have had the surge of awareness that i was home. This is the sense of self and aloneness that i love the most. No one with me. On my own. Walking in the shadows. Listening. Breathing. Feeling my heartbeat in my chest.
28 Aug 2004 no hands Hi!
I'd like to order two large pizza, nachos for two and a diet coke! Thanks!

...wait a second... am I in the right place?
19 Aug 2004 crackerjack To the lady who asked "Why do people use the word faggot?".
Well, it's quite interesting that you should ask that.
It originated from the term "faggot", in the context of a bundle of sticks, which, as you probably know, evolved from the French term "faggotto", and of course previously and ultimately from the Greek "phakelos" (Li. "bundle"). This was in fact used as offensive term to describe women. More specifically, one's partner. This is because a woman can be seen to weigh one down, much in the same manner of a large bundle of sticks, which, if carried around for a long period of time, will without doubt become somewhat of a burden.
This expression, which evolved to describe male homosexuals in the early twentieth century, evolved almost certainly from this, in the belief that these males resembled women.
However! We must take into account the fact that it is regularly used outside the context of simply describing a homosexual person.
We can say "That teacher is such a faggot!!" While meaning, in fact, that teacher is 1) harsh 2)demanding 3)unfair, or anything else really!
In many ways it is a very interging word, which retains the spark of rudeness, while at the same time the versatility of being ready for use in friendly social situations.
For example.
Gay Person 1: "Hey, how you doing, my old faggot??"
Gay Person 2: "I'm great, you faggot you! It's great to see you!"
As you can see, it's versatility provides a great deal of uses, in casual, formal and imtimate situations! An excellent word! See now, isn't it better to be educated rather than just labelling something "bad".

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