Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
18 Oct 2005 UniversalTourist this is a koan if i ever saw one
know what a 'koan' is? it's a device used by a zen master to force his students to meditate. the master poses a question, but one that does not have a ready, logical answer. the student meditates upon the question - and may or may not come up with 'the answer', but the important part is the meditation.

what's the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? clearly there is no logical answer. the only people who could supply an answer would be under-13 year old's who have successfully killed themselves. anybody else is just a poser.

and the posters here reveal a lot of posers. people giving other people advice. i don't care if you're telling me how to kill myself or not to kill myself. i don't want your fucking advice. if u really knew how to kill yourself you'd be dead already. if u don't want to kill yourself, don't pretend to know me, asshole.

i appreciate the people who have shared what methods didn't work for them. at least i'll probably avoid those methods next time

(i don't want to give my e-mail address because i don't want a lot of wankers writing to me)
15 Oct 2005 Don Ray Buy a small pine tree. Plant it in your backyard. When it grows to be 200 feet tall, climb up and decide if you really want to go through with it. By that time, you'll probably be at least 90 years old.
You may decided that 90 is just too young for suicide.
06 Oct 2005 Lucy Cortina Mouchette has just emotionally ejaculated into my boobies...

I could actually feel his brains filter all of their knowledge and beautiful emotions into my breasts. Perhaps they would become as artistic as Mouchette. I let out a scream of turkish delight, and peered down at my boobs - I could see Mouchette's face pressed in-between them. It had taken so much energy out of him that he'd fallen asleep with a smile on his face. I lay there for a while, enjoying the wonderful feelings he had pumped into my boobs. It was like they'd been given a whole new life. I was in heaven. But I was still on top of a collapsed table, full of chicken breasts coated in garlic butter.
A thought suddenly hit me.
"I'm gonna STINK of garlic! It'll ruin that new pink top I bought at Bonne Marche!".
I threw Mouchette off me, who rolled off the table with a thud and continued dozing. I ran around the mansion, arms flailing, covered in garlic butter, looking for a bathroom. I slipped on a patch of marble flooring, and landed on my back. Evereything went tits up.
A door opened next to me, and a man came out!
"Can I help you madame?" he said, peering down.
"Er..yes, oui. I'm looking for the bathroom, how you say..le...batheroome?"
"Zis way madame" he said, offering me a hand. I glared at him.
I tried to get up by myself but only succeeded in slipping around on the floor like a fish with boobs. It was no use. I reluctantly took his hand, and he hoisted me up.
I had nothing to cover my boobs with but decided I didn't care - the're probably so big they can probably be seen from the Moon by now anyway.
I followed him to the bathroom and said "Merci boucoup", then locked the door. I slumped onto the floor, thinking the nightmare was over.
But nothing in my world is ever that simple...
I noticed that the floor seemed a bit sticky, so I looked down...and let out a scream. There was blood all over the floor!
01 Oct 2005 chameleon i think i may have figured out my 15 year plight. you see at a young age i discovered i had to wear glasses because of my poor eye sight. they seem to have always been a bit lop sided. well just the other day i was getting out of the shower and as i finished drying off i gazed upon the glory of my testicals. i was fixed upon them. watching as they just dangled there in the mirror. i noticed one was dangeling a bit more than the other. i began to meditate upon this and then it dawned on me. its true just as everyone had always told me. my glasses were in fact straight. as was my head. its just no one else can see it because they are lop sided as well. trapped in this paradox. however due to the extra sag it has thrown off my whole universe in which i exist. its not just my glasses or my single testical. its not just the words on a page as i read. i have discovered what really is the center of the universe. it is my own family jewels. and since one of them is off centered so is the whole universe. so when you see something leaning a little to the left (northern hemisphere) you wonderfull people who have read my post will know why. i would like to formerly appologize to each and everyone who finds this an inconvenience. i am terribly sorry. however this is not entirely my fault. i plan on having corrective laser surgery to fix this matter so the universe can once again go back to normal. and there can be balance in all our lives. this may also be a major factor in someones brain being in someone elses boobies. im not sure about that though.
20 Sep 2005 Lucy Cortina (continued)

"Oh Lucy!" exclaimed Mouchette. "Oh Mouchette!", exclaimed I. "Give me your brains to keep me alive!" Mouchette ran around the table to where I was seated, ripped open my blouse, and lifted me onto the table. It creaked under the strain.
"Not the breasts!" I said, but it was too late, Mouchette pushed me backwards onto the plates full of chicken breasts, turkey breasts, and so on. It was very slippery.
We made love on top of the table. On top of a table full of breasts.
And he certainly didn't disappoint. At some point during all the passion, the table collapsed, but I didn't notice - I was in such ecstacy. The feelings coming out of his beautiful brains were incredible. Such power, such beauty, such darkness!
My breasts began to slowly expand, but I didn't notice until it was too late. Mouchette rubbed garlic butter over my boobs, and it felt so good I commanded him to continue. He was actually lubricating my boobs in preparation for his evil plan...
As they expanded, small holes began to open in the nipples. I felt like I was going to orgasm. The feeling grew, as Mouchette squeezed and rubbed my boobs, as they inflated, until I reached the point of climax. When I did, a very odd thing happened. Mouchette's brains ejaculated into my boobies! Not physically, but emotionally...

18 Sep 2005 a person with problems OK this is the most fucked up post of my life but i thought i should do it.

Its only been a little more then a week since my last post, but since then i tried to die twice, of course no one noticed. I guess is makes me luckey. I then asked for help from my parents who i thought didnt give 2 fucks. I WAS WRONG. They imidiatly took me to a docter got me some meds and schedueld me some appointments with a shrienk. But thats not why im posting. I am posting to offer my help. Ok im 14 older then some of you younger then others but i know what it feels like to be teased relentlessly. I also know what its like to have everything going great and still want to die.

ANYONE THINKING OF SUICIDE, email me i will listen, if you dont want me to try and talk you out of it i wont, but just haveing someone who understands can make a world of diffrence. It did for me, and i am also willing to help you talk to your parents. I am willing to give them advice or even email them for you to tell them what your planing so you can get help.

Please read this and please dont do anything youll regret.

email me at

oh ya one last thing all you shitheads who are saying "this site is disgusting" or anything like that SHUT UP this site saved my life. And mouchette if you need help running this site, i can help im good with html and stuff.

Peace apwp
17 Sep 2005 Bobby Can someone post tips on how to write a suicide note?
10 Sep 2005 Lucy Cortina You may all wonder where I have been these last few months. I'll fill you in:

It was a lovely summers day in gay Paree, birds were singing and french folk were eating croissants. I got a call on my mobile - it was Mouchette. He'd traced my number, the sneaky bastard! He invited me to dinner at his secret mansion, and being curious I agreed. He sent a blacked-out limousine to take me there. Very fancy.
Mouchette's masnion was beautiful, full of towering stained glass windows and turrets. As you'd expect, it was also totally over-the-top. Blood ran down the windows and the door knocker was a striped penis.
"Very lovely", I said as he answered the door, to which he replied "I agree", looking down at my boobs.
He was very polite, and offered me chocolates and wine, which tasted suspiciously like blood.
The main course was, quite appropriately, a selection of breasts. Chicken breasts, turkey breasts, goose breasts - the works. They were all coated in garlic butter.
"These are much nicer than my breasts", I commented as I tucked in.
"Oh I don't know about that...", said Mouchette.
At that point he looked at me from the other side of the table. I looked at him. Our eyes twinkled. In that moment we both knew what we REALLY wanted. I fancied him for his brains - he fancied me for my boobs. I had been lusting after those beautiful artistic brains of his for so long now that it made my very boobs ache.

(If only I knew how accurately my desires were about to be fulfilled...)
08 Sep 2005 Mouchette's Bitch Help! Someone help me. Mouchette has imprisoned me in his bathroom as a joke - he knows I'm claustrophobic and it causes my boobs to inflate. He watches me through the 2-way mirror and laughs at me every day. He thinks it's funny when I can barely breathe because my face is pressed against the wall as my breasts expand.

I am sending this message telepathically via one of Mouchette's brains, as his brains are inside my boobies, and he is only using one of them at the moment.
21 Aug 2005 K i think that this website was a very good idea even if you didn’t mean it to go the way it has.
I’m sure that it has helped a lot of people in there quest to find happiness, even if all that is helping them is getting things off their chest. it has also helped me through reading some of the answers and me realising that things could be worse. Another thing is that I came on this website very low, I wanted to kill myself, but from reading the answers, I was turned off suicide, mainly because I thought that pills would be easy, I learnt that they are not.

so i suppose this is a thank you, for making this website.

p.s Oh yeah, I don’t know what the best way is to kill yourself, I wouldn’t, I have never succeeded.
09 Aug 2005 please dont kill yourself. i will give you three wishes. i am a genie. email me and you will get three wishes. only one rule. you cannot use any wish to wish for more wishes.
31 Jul 2005 Scors-b It was dark outside, and the hospital room felt small, hot. Wind gusted through the small gap in the window, rustleing the blinds. There was a distant light from through the glass panel on the door, where the night staff must have been.
I woke with shock, although I was sure I hadden't slept for a month. I felt like death, hardly able to move.
Checked the time in anticipation. It was 06:16, and my drip had run out, as the doctor said. My bed sheets were soaking with sweat. There was no sound apart from the static in my ears. Then I knew what was coming. Thick black fluid and stomach acid rushed up through my gullet, spewing out of my mouth desparatly. It didn't stop. Unable to breathe I pulled towards the basin in the corner of the room. It kept coming, blocking air from my lungs. Gasping for air and trying so hard to stay still, I turned my head. The bed sheets had been stained, a stream of black mixture flowing accross them. I think I could hear the night nurse on my left, but another gut wrentching dose of vomit blocked out anything she said. I stood, for a while, praying there was no more to come, and yet still embracing the horrific pain that pumped through my veins and muscles. I made a guided collapse to a chair, and the nurse declared she was going to get clean sheets. I sat in shock. It would be several days before I could walk again.

Suicide is not a game. If anyone wants the benefit of my experiance, please email me.
29 Jul 2005 Grandma Goth in Killer Heels I don't know what brought me back to the site today - I went through a brief period of being fixated with it about 18 months ago. Thought it was for real and ended up having nitemares about kids committing suicide and stuffed animals with striped penises... I always did have an overactive imagination but dropped out of art college to "go on the road" after a term!!!

I stand by what I said about there being some middle aged bloke behind this orchestrating the whole thing. BUT I've yet to see the film "Mouchette", and I know exactly what it's like to be so touched by a piece of art you want to go on to create something of your own.

I'm a writer and work from life, but believe that art imitates life (and maybe vice versa) so it all evens out somewhere.

It's difficult to think of the kids when the kids are only thinking of themselves. But anyway, peace love and empathy to all. Hope we all get better soon, huh?!


Em xxx
25 Jul 2005   Why should they care when I die, when they never cared when I lived
15 Jul 2005 Lucy Cortina Chorus:
I'be got brains in my boobies
I've got brains in my boobies
I've got brains in my boobies
Mouchette put them there

He now controls my boobs,
after a little operation.
The can float, they can inflate;
they're the world heavyweights.
Everyone is jealous,
cos Mouchette's inside my boobs.
He now gets all his pleasure
living inside my boobs

*repeat chorus x 2*

The world cries "where is Mouchette?!" "where is Mouchette?!"
Nobody knows, nobody cares,
for his brains are in my boobies, my boobies boobies bobies.
Mouchette is here, there's nothing to fear,
for his brains are in my boobies;
and my boobs will go on..and on.....

*chorus x 2*

My boobs want to explode,
when Mouchette is having sex.
No one knows how he does it,
he has a lovely pair of brains!
They could destroy the world,
so must must stay inside my boobies
Mouchette's brains are too big
so they must stay inside my boobies

*chorus x 2*

His brains must stay incide my boobies.
02 Jul 2005 Guest who i have also been intimadated by people every where i go:


verb {T}

to frighten or threaten someone, usually in order to persuade them to do something that you want them to do:
- They were intimidated into accepting a pay cut by the threat of losing their jobs.



frightened or nervous because you are not confident in a situation:
- Older people can feel very intimidated by computers


noun {U}

- The campaign of violence and intimidation against them intensifies daily.



making you feel frightened or nervous:
- an intimidating array of weapons

- an intimidating manner

- She can be very intimidating when she's angry.

also i have been

noun {U}

unkind words or actions that make someone or something look stupid or worthless:
- She was treated with scorn and ridicule by her colleagues when she applied for the job.

- He's become an object of ridicule (= a person that everyone thinks is stupid and criticizes or laughs at).


verb {T}

to laugh at someone in an unkind way:
- She rarely spoke her mind out of fear of being ridiculed.

- At the time he was ridiculed for his ideas.



stupid or unreasonable and deserving to be laughed at:
- Do I look ridiculous in this hat?

- Don't be so ridiculous! I can't possibly afford to go on holiday.

- It's ridiculous to expect a two-year-old to be able to read!



- Hotel rooms in the city are ridiculously overpriced during the festival.
29 Jun 2005 THIS PISSES ME OFF Mouchette, why the fuck aren't any of my answers in your favourites section???!! I have worked so damn hard on those posts and I have done everything I could possibly do to contribute to this fucking sick and perverted site. If I ever see you, I will flatten you like a waffle with my fly squatter you dirty freak!
26 Jun 2005 Rare-Me in indonesian language..S.o.r.r.y..

dari umur 11 tahun saya ingin bunuh diri karena merasa terasing dan tersiksa secara fisik oleh orangtua sy. Penderitaan saya bertambah ketika seseorang yang saya sayangi meninggal. Saya tidak mengenal arti cinta kasih dari manusia di dunia ini. Ketakutan menghadapi dunia luar setiap hari dan kebencian bila bertemu orang tua saya membuat rasa sakit di hati dan pikiran saya semakin besar dan meradang hingga sekarang. Setiap hari,bila rasa sakit itu datang,dengan membayangkan menembak tepat ke kepala, saya merasa lebih baik. saya ingin punya pistol sesungguhnya,karena dengan memiliki itu saya merasa kuat karena bisa benar-benar mengontrol sakit saya. Saya tinggalkan teman-teman terdekat saya karena mereka tidak bisa memahami saya. Saya sendiri dan hidup menyendiri di dunia ini.Saya tidak memiliki suatu hubungan yang berarti dengan semua orang yag ada di sekitar saya sekarang ini. Saya sungguh ingin mati. Mati dengan menembak kepala saya. semakain lama sakit yang saya alami semakin menjadi. i need a gun..
18 Jun 2005 life is not all I hate. I hate every activity I do throughout the day. right down to posting this thread. i am so self loathing and just plain miserable. i am so depressed i dont even want to kill myself. why even get up out of bed. why get dressed? why eat? why cant I just DIE?

someone please email me and tell me if you feel like me?

I hate myself. i hate my mom and my whole family. and i fuckin hate this salad i am eating. who the hell is cesar anyway?











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