|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|16 Mar 2010||R.S. Hardeman||My father died when I was nine years old. He suffered from depression and an on and off again battle with drugs. Friends and family tell me that I was his world, however, I fail to believe so because of his selfish act. When he past I was told that he had died in a car accident. But just like a yesterday, I remember the night before his funeral his car was in perfect shape sitting at my aunts house. For some reason their was always something wrong with that picture but I never put much thought into it. It was a humid summer weekend I was at my bestfriend house and confided in her grandmother about the way I was feeling about my dads death. There was something in me (maybe God) saying that something was not right. She told me to pray and if God thought it was time he would reveal the truth to me. Well, that very next day I was at home my mother had called and asked me to look for some papers, and it was then I came across my fathers death certificate. Only with curiosity as I read it to my surprise there it was. It stated that he indeed did committ suicide. Emotions feel me with angry, guilt, sadness I felt it all. I later found out that everyone knew but me. I pushed myself away from his family feeling so hurt. I always asked my self Why? I was turning 16 that year and now at the age of 19 I can really say that was not a sweet sixteen. I've always had thought of killing myself. I've tried once and thought about it over a million times. After trying my mom told me I was throwing a temper tantrum and honestly that really hurt. Afterwards I tried a therapist and during one session my step-dad was invited in and he of course agreed with my mother. This was like a slap in the face cause at that very moment I was screaming out for help. I felt alone and that everything I did or every answer I wanted was pushed away. I needed so desperate affection but it wasn't offered. People just looked at me like I was sick and treated me like I was a mental patient. Now I'm at a different place in my life. Im still sort of angry because I felt like my dad was being very selfish and missed out on the essentials of my life. At my lowest moments I still think about killing myself but Ive found something that keeps me going. So for those that are thinking about it I think you should find something that you look forward to. Me, myself it was my neice. Being my first neice its something about that little girl that keeps me going. I'm anxious about my future and I try to find something big or small to atleast make me smile everyday. I wrote on my mirror words and phrases of encouragement. The other day I was very upset and now for some reason I hardly ever just cry or let the pain out. With me being a very sensitive and emotional person this is strange to me but I had a break down. And, for some reason I looked up at the mirror and I seen the words I had written (smile) and I smile there I was smiling because I made it another day here at peace. Had I killed myself I never would have made it there...simply happy|
|11 Mar 2010||AG||TO ANYONE WHOS ABOUT TO KILL THEMSELVES DONT DO IT,THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOUR HURTING INCLUDING YOURSELF depressions just a feeling everyone gets, it doesn't mean you have to go to the extreme and do anything drastic its basically a part of being a teenager, as a matter of fact being a teen are some of the stressful years of your life|
|10 Mar 2010||Jungle||I have to agree with Mr. Survivor down there. We are indeed more powerful because we made thoughts that the "normal" person have never done. We made those thoughts and we are still in this world fighting to achieve the aim that everyone have set for his life. And even moments of suicide when we feel like we don`t have any aim, we do, we just don`t know it yet but we have to go on to find what is the aim of life. It`s funny though that people around us have no idea how we feel inside and even if you try to share your feelings they think is a joke. But this doesn`t mean that they are any better, it just means that they are living a routine without any problem which involve spirit or heart.|
|03 Mar 2010||Survivor||There is no best way to kill yourself. There is only one way, and that road will always lead to death (obviously). But none of us who ADMIT to want to commit suicide will or should take that road. We are stronger than that; those of us who admit to it, admit to a problem we have: We admit that we are too courageous to do it (and thats why we havent done it, those of us who are on this page have decided not to kill ourselves yet). Death is so welcome, and so easy. Its been more than 9 years since these thoughts of suicide entered my mind, and Im still alive. Its because I cant do it, because I wont, because even though its the easy way out, its not the road I wish to take. We are proud, we who admit to the desire of surrenderring our souls; we are stronger than death itself because not only do we admit to giving in, but we understand the pain that brings living with this burden. Every single day that we live is a day survived, a day of pain, of hurt and of thinking we are undeserving of anything that is good. And yet, we are survivors, we are stronger than your average person who lives their life as a fairytale, or as a "normal" person. We overcome much more than anyone else; and this makes us stronger, it makes us more powerful, it makes us smarter and more perceptive of life, of love, of happiness. Each smile is more appreciated by us, even if no one else knows. It makes us special, because we feel more than people without those feelings (the negative side effect is that we have to live through pain, but trust me when I say no one knows the happiness we know, even if it was just for a second, in a dream, no one normal will come even close to this feeling; how do I know? because Ive seen "happy" people, and they know not what happiness is, what pain is, what sadness is; they are dead in the face of feelings, which is why they dont understand us or care to understand us or the idea of suicide...to them its a taboo, to us its a reality that eats away at us). Regardless, We are lost souls, but we are so many, just read what people have had the courage to confess in this website. Its not about family, its not about friends or boyfriends or even God; its about you, or in my case, me and my willing and ability to survive in a world that wants me to die or commit suicide. They say, kill yourself, I say, make me; and everyday they try to but I will damn well laugh in their faces and say: if you were me, you would kill yourself, but I will survive whatever challenge you force upon me, not even your evil will of self destruction will murder me for I will overpower my self hatred, my own desire to die, my incapacity of dealing with the pain in this world. I will survive, even if I dont want to, only to prove to myself and the world that these feelings of self loathing will not overcome my desire to defeat them. Its so easy to die, its harder to live with the desire, and YES, that does make us better people. Are you a survivor or another statistic? Because, believe it or not, its your choice. You can choose to be better than everyone else or be just who they expect you to be.|
|27 Feb 2010||BuffyDecember||I hope you don't figure out how to succeed at rendering yourself extinct. There can't be anything that is so bad or a life that is so awful that this is the fix. Trust me, I have tried twice and I am glad I didn't get it right.|
|17 Feb 2010||Matt||I'll be honest, I found this because once again I find life a battle. But to be honest I found this a little shocking that we're talking about someone who's thirteen. I'm thirty nine and have batttled depression from when I was thirteen or fourteen. I still fight now and some days are a constant struggle.
But all I know is this: This life is a wonderous experience and along the way you will meet beautiful people (as well as the ugly) and you will see amazing days and dark days. Some days you will feel dead to the world and others will feel as vital as any spring day.
I'm a photographer now and though depression is still a batttle I wouldn't change it for the world.
Don't worry, life will grow around you, the impossible will feel possible and most of the people you hate will vanish.
Live because that's all we have. Every minute of every day.
|07 Feb 2010||almost there||the best way to kill yourself is to drink yourself to death. I mean, fuck, you'll have some good times, right? you'll go nuts at the bar and dance on tables and get into fist fights and crash your car (if you're lucky you might even kill yourself in a car crash) you'll have sex in stinking toliet cubicles and you'll try to kill your best friends for no reason. well, i know i did. and guess what? if you're hanging around piss heads no one will even raise an eyebrow! hooray for uncontrolled alcoholism! as they say drink until you can't feel feelings anymore!
i mean, life can suck balls... hell, i know. i won't go into it, my point is that the best way to make things better is to make a change in lifestyle. no one said it had to be a change for the better.....
|02 Feb 2010||cancerofhehead||pills: 1,8% chances of success. worst choice. you d have to spend 6 years of your life in the warp trying in average 50 times to not even hope of succeeding. flying from 12 meter up: 65% of surviving. train: 10% of all attempts ended in survival. germany, that s where i live is the country where people commit suicide the most using train crashes, collision or decapitation, in worst case one in ten, integral amputation. that s how i dreamt MY future. who knows how body react when confronted with high speed train at 10m, 1m i suspect even 30 sec are enough for lethal reflex, the one that makes conscience jump for stupid will of specie to survive, and fail. amputation of both arms, one leg, the head has been sawnd back in place to the head, disjoined to 2/3rd, that s enough saving YOUR life a jugular and a carotidiss have remained intact, your BRAIN DAMAGE noone s bothered, anyway didn t you prefer life with all your limbs, or brain, hi ! hanging. noone knows, it all depends how you plan in, how much noise you make falling down the rope, and with whon you live. neighbours might be enough to save you even if you live alone you ve just borrowed a ladder from them. and EVERYONE knows you re a psycho in the neighbourhood.
stop, that s enough
i ve been watching this site again from work since experiencing drug induced suicide psychosis in deed. it s over now, let me just warn all about ABILIFY ARIPRIPAZOLE take it maybe if you re feeling low, anhedonic, catatonic, year after you quit, suicide story turns in quick. all effects in all users. i lasted only 2-3 weeks in my case, it can strech over 1-2 months never feel so low in hell, something hits you in the head, dopamine flux in the wrong place do it do it d o it now, quit murder then the voices, not like you hear them i just heard them think, "kill yourself", "etc etc", sorry that s just not when i feel like doing it, i d not end it that way in any case proving them right, i just want to act like death when i DON T CARE, even the pain, i m a medic, i know what it takes, pills dont work , never, in 98.2% of cases they don t, you just vomit in your lungs, whether 50 pills, 100, 200 (i ve not been further), sleeping pills, antidepressants, tranquilizersa, antipsychotics, even mixes won t do.
|30 Jan 2010||Dalyn||I'm not going to bother telling you my own story, it's not nearly finished yet, and I'd hate to not have an epilogue to offer. So, instead I offer a very real, very sad testimonial to the question at hand: There was a young boy, nine years old that I knew from school. Why a child so young would hate himself so much, or even know the connotation of the word suicide is up for debate. Regardless of what demon he was waging war with in his heart, he deemed it necessary to commit this act himself. He waited for his parents to go out, leave him with his older brother, my friend, Dale, who was only thirteen at the time. Dale asked if he would like to come to my house, ride bikes to get there. His little brother, Eli declined. He said he would rather stay and play video games. When Dale left, Eli disconnected his nintendo, wrapping the cords together to create a strong rope. At about this time, he also went into the medicine closet and digested an entire bottle of his mothers antianxiety medication. He returned to his makeshift noose, stringing it from a wooden rafter on the ceiling in the kitchen. At some point he must have worried this would still not be enough, and went to get a tie of his fathers, wrapping that around his neck along with the cords. He stepped up onto the kitchen counter, leaning forward to wrap and adjust the cords, and stepped off into the abyss. Needless to say Elias did not play a game again. Three years later, riddled with guilt, Dale became addicted to painkillers, supplied by myself, from my grandmothers stock supply. He ended his life the same day, three years later, as his brother. This is a lesson in how suicide directly affects those in your family and around you. If anyone would like to hear my personal struggle and request help, or if you would just like to talk about anything under the sun, you may contact me on AIM: MyUtterVacuity or email@example.com|
|27 Jan 2010||Courtney||Hi. I'm a 20 year old female. I stumbled across this site after searching "best way to commit suicide" on Google for about the 5th time this month.
I've been battling depression since I was in middle school. The only thing that kept me alive was anime, music, and the friends I created in my head. I went to a psychiatrist when I was about 15-16 and she diagnosed me with major depression, social anxiety, and schizophrenia. I'm sure I'm bipolar too.
I was in such a horrible shape. I was so depressed I sometimes didn't even have the strength to take showers in the morning before school and I never did my hair or looked in the mirror. I wore the same 3 outfits every day to school for every week. I cried when I woke up and I cried before bed. I had no friends, but I didn't want any. I convinced myself that humans were evil and I should avoid them at all costs.
I started cutting myself when I was 15 because I heard it helps ease the pain. I had major mood swings and I would cry because of everything.
My grandma died when I was 14-15. That killed me. Nothing is worse than hearing your own mom crying that she wants to die because her mom died. When you're young, you think grown ups are strong and can solve everything. The saddest thing is realizing that they are just human and they used to be teens once too.
The first thing the psychiatrist said after only talking to me a few minutes was "we need to get her to a hospital ASAP!" So I went to a mental hospital for a bit. I never wanted to go back when I got out. That set me straight for a little while and I was determined to become a better person.
I got my first boyfriend when I was 15. He was my first love and he was the only person I talked to. He cheated on me and told me to commit suicide. I cried for so long because of that.
I recovered after a few years and I finally got a friend when I 17 in hopes that it would make me feel better and make me forget about my ex. He was my best friend. He died shortly after in a car crash. He said that we would go to college together, but we never got the chance. I went to college without him and became depressed because of it.
I was so lonely. I slept around with a few guys in hopes of curing my loneliness, but that just made it worse. I got a bad reputation. I got picked on a lot because of it. I've been called just about every derogatory name you can think of.
The most depressing things in life are the things that happen to you because of your own damn mistakes; things that you could have controlled, but didn't due to your won recklessness.
So here I sit, at age 20, setting an appointment to see the same psychiatrist I saw when I was 15. My mom and I cried in each others arms because of it. She says that belief in God would help me, but God does not help me. Some people get comfort from Jesus, others don't. I wish I did, but I don't. I was a deeply religious 15 year old, and yet belief in God still didn't help.
The only thing that helps and is keeping me strong right now is seeing my mom cry when I cry. I know it would kill her if I died. I would never want to put that pain on her or any of my other family members. Suicide is selfish, and selfishness is the cause of all sin.
Feel free to hit me up if you ever want to talk:
|26 Jan 2010||no.||fuck i used to have friends and a girlfriend but then i got caught bythe cops wth drugs. i had been grounded for a year with no contact to my girlfriend and when i get ungrounded what do i find? my best friend with my girl friend. i just started thinking about suicide again. she was the only thing keeping me happy. i have never told anyone because its too weird. i feel if i did tell anyone they would just dismiss it or think im crazy fuck maybe i am.|
|24 Jan 2010||starfish||Jabb, you are taking a wrong approach. There's no point in waiting for someone to come and magically make your life worth living. People are just like that, they care about themselves, not giving a shit about others, especially those they don't know. Moreover, if you look too needy, you'll scare them away. It's you who has to make the change. Don't make yourself depenent on others, self sufficiency is the key. You are in college so get good at something, it's bound to attract people at a certain point, even if they just ask you to tutor them. People befriend those that are useful to them. It's kinda like barter - you give something to them and get something else in return. Regardless of what some hypocrites may tell you, nothing is free in this world. You are young and have endless possibilties spread out before you. You only need to grab one. It'll most likely require a lot of work but everything in life comes at a price. Good luck and I hope you'll be able to pull yourself out of this dark spot you're in right now.|
|23 Jan 2010||acid||I don't know it's everywhere it's all that's in my head i can't get it out it's everywhere i look i don't know how to get rid of it all it just keeps coming back and back and back and back
i can see all of you smiling and laughing and having a can of beer
no one needs me.
|14 Jan 2010||Elizabeth||my niece is 12 and its amazing seeing the change in her from happy carefree child to sullen ill tempered stranger. Its like she had a personality transplant over night! But its exactly what happened to me at the same age, and from reading all the other blogs its easy to see that if you don't fit the mold, we all feel like it at the same type of age. Its not gonna make you feel better to know your not alone, because it still doesn't solve the problems you're all facing. I tried to kill myself when i was a young teenager and i really wanted to die. But looking back i am so glad i didn't, and its not because everything in my life got better, if anything alot of things got worse. But thank God for rescuing me. God gave me peace in the midst of my pain and joy in the midst of my sorrow. My situation to an outsider was much the same. But God gave me a new heart and out of it came a new attitude, a new mindset. He made me love myself, because he loved me. He loves you too. Even if you don't believe it now or ever, he's there... always.|
|10 Jan 2010||jazz||Swim Down. Down, Down, Down until you cant get back up. I've done it, but by mistake, and in the wrong context. I wasn't tryin to die when it happened. And i didnt die, but the jist was there. Reading this website reminds me to say, as we all realize,. it's forever!! As this comes off as a warning, the redundancy is pretty appparent. You can't get any do-overs.
There's another method as well., better than all the others. Cleaner than weapons, faster than poison or cutting. Less graphic than accidents, or violence., the stongest point is if you're into the lifestyle, it really could be by accident, and truthfully out of your control. And you leave a nice looking corpse. And the strongest thing, is as it kills you you may not even realize it, although panic may be involved. I'm not going to say what the method is though. the reason is it's the best way to live, and the best way to die. I'd rather see people live though.
|07 Jan 2010||Kat||It's better to talk about it with someone who will listen than take it into your own hands. No more suicide games.|
|28 Dec 2009||ScareCrow||I don't know how I feel reading all of these posts, although I do know that I couldn't endorse anyone killing themselves at 13. Now at 40, I feel my own will to live slipping away daily. I can't say that I had a bad childhood, or that everyone is against me, or that there is anyone else causing me pain. I went through that phase in my early 20s - suicide was a reaction to the disappointments of ended relationships, but I got over it. Now, however, it is different. I am truly struggling with hopelessness. I keep trying to 'soldier on', but even in that the best case scenario is arriving at a more difficult situation. Even if I win I lose. I am currently living hundreds of miles from home. I have a decent job, although I suspect I will soon be fired. Although I feel that I am constantly working I can't keep up. Part of the reason for that is that I am trying to complete my Ph.D., which would complete an 8 year pursuit. My paycheck barely pays the bills, and I can get no assistance. I have had some other setbacks over the past 2 months and don't know if I will be able to pay tuition this semester, which will terminate me from school and make this 8 year journey moot. But that is just another stress in what has been a constant struggle for the past few years. I'm so busy that I have no time for forming a meaningful relationship, and all my friends are far far away. I'm not crying daily, not bitter or angry, just tired. I feel as though I have already wasted my life and just know that it will not improve, even though I try to tell myself that it will. I do think about people in my life that I will hurt if i take my life, and that may be my only barrier, but I'm just tired of trying to keep going. Ironically, my chosen profession is in psychology, and for years I counseled suicidal patients. The things that I would say to them sound hollow when applied to my own life. I don't think I will end my life, even though I do believe that I want to, but I feel myself stepping closer to that edge. Nothing dramatic, no big statement to make, just want relief.|
|16 Dec 2009||d...............||i wish that could work for me. i wish i could say to him, "if you leave me, i'll kill myself" and he'd stay so i wouldn't. but that wouldn't work. not in this case. because in this case, nothing matters. not life, not love, not death nor peace. nothing matters. there is no secret to life. it's just existence. all you do is exist. numb, broken, but breathing. your still existing. can't laugh anymore, can't cry anymore. just keep pretending. keep existing. keep hurting, but keep breathing. HE has a plan for us all. None of us will ever know what HE has planned for us. But we can count on one thing, death. Everyone will pass. Existence will never last forever. I promise you that. HE promises you that. So keep breathing, keep hurting, keep trying if you want, or give up, but just keep breathing, wake up in the morning, go to sleep at night, fake all your smiles, keep pretending so noone tries to snoop in your business. breathe. the end of the world is near. there is far too much wickedness in the world right now for it to keep going on much longer. people are less shameful, everyone is a killer, a rapist, a molester, and no one cares to stop it. HE is getting angry. The earth itself is tired of humanity just taking and taking and never giving anything back. So just breathe. Keep breathing. There is only so much oxygen left. It's running out folks. Just enjoy the way it feels when you breathe it in and let it out. It's a simple pleasure. breathe.|
|12 Dec 2009||faeith||Live life, and deal with whatever crap Fate throws your way. Dealing with this pain is the definition of 'living a life'. Happiness cannot be achieved without a price, even if suffering is the price you pay.
I am a 21 year old girl, turning 22 in two months, and half my life I am in engaged in an epic battle with Fate. I am living with a KillerPainful-LifeLong-disease, a family that is too far away, a boyfriend who is at times as heartless as heck, and friends who are too busy with their own life. Many a times when I am just too weary, and tired of hurting, I sit with a blade in my hand contemplating death. A sinful bliss.
As purpose rewrites the hopelessness
pain cancels out the burning anguish
calm takes over the rampage insanity
while numbness creeps in boisterously
silence replaces the stifling sobs
as death sets in, disguised as tranquility...
But this not how I want go down. I boast to myself, and who ever cares to listen that I am not the kind of person who gives up too easy. So I sit here contemplating death, but not doing anything about it. I think 'this is not going to achieve anything in the end except for ending my suffering, and life is suffering so deal with it'.
Theres always going to be a moment
Thats going to make life go out of control
no escape, forced to bask in its raiment
stay and fight, try again to be whole
... Dont wait till everything around you begins to fall.
And, I sit here with a blade aimed to my jugular as I contemplate life...
|06 Dec 2009||anonymous||i was full on suicidal for about two weeks because i was heartbroken, i was about 90% of the way there. i had already chosen an overdose as my way of dying.
"In the end, You will make it through"
This is 100% certain. You will always make it through in the end. But the end can be referred to as surviving and dying.