|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|16 Mar 2002||Cant take downs butthole||When I was 8, I tried 2 jump off 9 stories building with my younger sister only 6. In the end, we went back to bed instead. Right, you're thinkin "Hello?! 8!!?? What problems is there supposed 2 be?!" Being eight years old wasn't an easy task for me. I'm 13 now, and I'm still lookin 4 the way n courage 2 die. Life has ups and downs, well, just take it that I'm that butthole who can't take the downs. Struggling my whole life to meet my parents expectations are crap. They just can't accept that I'm 1 of those students who's lazy, always wants fun, super money spender and just waste my life away. People just don't seem 2 understand what I think and that pretty much suck. I have 2 asshole parents who think they're doing all the good sorts for me but...|
|04 Mar 2002||Already Dead||Well it's a done deal. I am officially going to end my life tomorrow, March 4th(my birthday). What's the meaning of life anyway? Pain and suffering+ being a slave of money until you die. To all you peeps who think it will get better as you age, it won't.
Now if you are depressed and wanna kill yourself, I suggest www.1000deaths.com, it helped me get through some bad times but it's just not helping anymore.. I gotta go, cya on the otherside..
|27 Feb 2002||Tami||I remember when i was 9. My parents got divorced and dad moved out. Dad and i were best friends. We did everything together. It wasn't long after that, that i started to feel very unhappy. I have felt unhappy since then. I have come to terms with dad leaving, but now he has left for good. He died July25, 01. Dad was the person i always talked to about anything. Even if "my way" was wrong, he never told me i couldn't do anything. The rest of my family just never listen and to top that my mom is a bitch. Anyway, when i was nine, i thought if i jumped in front of a car, that would do it. Well, i'm 30 now and that car still drives by every day. Funny how it became to look like a gun. I still think about killing myself everyday. Honestly, i don't think it will ever go away. I've been admitted to several hospitals and all they do is give you an anti-depressant and tell you to call them in a week. There is no magic pill to make these thoughts go away. I talk to my pychologist once a week, but it seems to me that we never solve anything. I'm starting to wonder if there is anything to solve. Something stupid keeps me alive everyday. Even if it's just a tv show. Some of you may be laughing, and i understand, but to me you must realize that this is not a joke. Now that my dad is gone forever, it will only be a matter of time.|
|25 Feb 2002||Julie||I had a friend that i was close to, we did everything together. we were like sisters. we changed together, we went through the prep, fucked up and that is were we stayed. we often cut our wrist, od on tionl, and did all the fucking drugs we could get our hands on (for being only 12 & 13). I stopped because i had been sent away for a wile. when i came back she was almost dead. she had cut-up most of her body from head to toe, i had to convince her she was doing something wrong. Now WE are going thrugh the freak stage but when people look at us they see all of our scars on our arms, legs, and during the summer on our stomachs. we lived through it and now we are happy that we are still alive.|
|23 Feb 2002||LaDonna||To anybody of any age that thinks of suicide: I went through many years of actually planning it and almost carrying through. I have gotten past that but it the thoughts of suicide, death, and dying cross my mind often. I suffer from depression and anxiety. These thoughts still happen though take medication. I have times of joy and inbetween as well. I am labelled a bipolar or manic depressive to some. I believe we can't ever get rid of the bad completely. I am learning to live with the flow. Music is a great help as well as are other people. Feel free to write to me if you want to exchange thoughts. You will get no preaching from me about whether or not to do anything. Everyone must make their own choices in life. I choose to keep living. To me, it is the best choice. I care about me. It did take a long time for me to care when no one else did. Peace.|
|14 Feb 2002||Meika||In response to my own sugestion:
What I meant is that it does'nt give a person the right to kill themselves. It is just an understanding of why people do.
I've been there....and I'm still alive to prove that we all have suicide thoughts at one time or another. We are not alone in this thought. Every one starting at the age of 9 to when we die will have these thoughts. As a child we may have had some rough dealings and believe that by killing ourselve is a way to spite those who did us wrong. When I was 10 I threatened to jump off the bridge, all because I was confused and did not understand the situation at hand. My suicide thoughts did not end there. I was later diagnosed with clinical depression and it was traced back to the age of 3. The only thing I have'nt tried is to hang myself or to shoot myself. I have OD'ed many times. I also have had an abusive relationship of which my partner mentally, physically and sexually abused me. I now because of this am a much stronger person.
I now see what the situations are and personally believe that for myself....time heals.
I have studied, got a degree in fine arts. I am a professional artist. I manage a web magazine based in fashion and soon another based in art. I will also be dealing art and fashion as time goes on.
Life is not what it seems when you see the greater picture.
|07 Feb 2002||jo hill||i posted a couple of days ago, looking for pill information. it's 4 am now and i've been having a very very bad night. i got online to check this site and my mail to see if there were any helpful suggestions about pharmaceutical suicide for me. instead i found the following email from a friend who lives in europe. i haven't heard from him in 2 years. i apologize to him for reprinting this, and advise you that english is not his native tongue, which is what makes his writing style so charming.
first of all: happy birthday! It has been quite a long time that you have been blessing this world with your presence, and this deserves celebration. Reading newspapers I often arrive to the conclusion (and I think you share this point of view) that this, should be the most horrible planet of the Universe, or better said, since the Earth is a beautiful place, after all, the planet inhabited by the most horrible and destructive of the species. In this moments of crisis it is always good to think a bit, and then you arrive to the conclusion that this world is horrible, but we always have Josephina Hill. It may seem little, if you think it like that, but it makes all the difference. You are this little bit of salt that transforms a dish not even acceptable for dogs into a dish of a three stars michelin restaurant; you are the litle candle that changes the darkness of the horrible dungeon into the romantic cavern, or the peace of the chaple. You are the litle water that makes grown flowers in the dryest dessert. Although you will understand better what I mean if I tell you, that for me, and for many in this crazy world, you are the little whisky that makes coca-cola interesting.
In another words, I thank God to have created you (a work so fine and so excellent, that only can be the work of someone not only almighty, but also good to the infinite), that He put you in my way, and that I have had the chance of meeting you, of sharing some whiskys, some interesting discussions, some good moments in some good places, and a whole lot of great letters.
It is just the last one, the pretty Christmas card that you send me (what a difference with myself) that made me remember how nice you are. A real friend. However, once again, I see that you've been suffering for the international situation, for the twin towers atack, for the reaction of your country, the war, the Middle East situation, the new budget, etc.
Well, let me tell you, that, for once, I probably share your point of view on all the subjects. I must add my shame for the humiliating response of the European Union to the situation. So far so bad. What worries me most, however is YOUR suffering. It is true, we are in the middle of a mess, the world is colapsing, nothing is going well. It is difficult to be happy in such conditions, but Jo-see, it is not your fault. You were born in the USA but you are not the president. Your country has done wonderful things as well. If you can do something to change the situation, well. If you can read, think, try to understand it, wonderful. But don't feel think it around, don't feel sad. Look for the good things of your life. You have your family, your friends, and you can even see Oscar Peterson LIFE!!!! (I feel jealous).
I have always asked for your prayers. I'm sure that they have help me a lot during this decade that we have been friends. And I feel thankful to you for them (of course prayers mix well with whisky. One thing does not contradict the other, and I'm also thankful for the whiskies we have taken toghether). But since we have been most of the time separated by 8.000 miles, it is good to ask a Common Friend to look after one another. So I'm going to pray for you now. It is my turn. I'm going to pray the Lord, that you have in you the same peace that the world needs; that He keeps you the big heart that makes you involved in other people problems, but at the same time, that He protects it against anxiety or grief. Of course I pray the Lord that he find a nice guy to you, and not like the two stupid blind fellows that were incapable of realizing the kind of girlfriend that they had just found. If some day they found a diamond in the street they will probably kick it.
Well, Jo-see, just tell you that I will pray for you. I'm sorry this is not one of the good old letters of the past. A computer is not like the good old pen, and it is quite late at the night of a long working day. But I'm determined to write something more digne of your eyes for the next letter. I just wanted to reply anyhow to your postcard with the promise of a normal letter with news from myself and my life in the capital of Europe. But before, please, let me hear from you.
wow. that letter sure stopped me in my tracks. fate, chance, serendipity, God? that i should receive this tonight? (to be cliche), in the moment of my darkest hour? it's potently obvious that i can't kill myself tonight. probably not for a little while yet.
|02 Feb 2002||Andrew n Redding||I think the best way to kill yourself would be to run your parents' car in the garage and have a hose from the tailpipe to the window and make a small crack so the bad air can get it but not a lot can get out- put your foot on the gas so more will come out-then you fall asleep and you never wake up then all the mother-fuckers that did bad shit to you will feel like shit thinking that they could have saved you-i play on doing this cause everyday i wake up feeling like shit and i feel even worse every single day and mainly cause i dont know the cause of this. i have all the friends in the world i get everything i want and i can do anything i want- my parents let me do all kinds of drugs and tell me that i shouldn't but they don't give a fuck anywayz all my friends think i should get help and that it's gunna get better- well FUCK THEM those cock sucker jew-bitches dont kno shit they dont kno what i have to feel every day of my life and they dont kno all the shit i have to do though in my life everyday so fuck the world cause life ISN'T worth living and i think if you really are depressed and feel this shit pain everyday then you should kill yourself like i plan on to tonight-everyone one wish me good look and i hope to maybe see some of you where were all going
I'M SORRY TO MY MOM AND MY DAD, IT DIDN'T HAVE TO COME TO THIS BUT I HATE YOU, YOU'RE ONLY A BUNCH OF COCK SUCKERS-FUCK YOU AND AT MY FUNERAL I WANT YOU TO PLAY "LAST RESORT" BY PAPA ROACH
|30 Jan 2002||STVE||OKAY LISTEN UP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. *NONE* OF YOU HAVE HAD IT WORSE THAN I HAVE.. SO FUCK YOU ALL. HAS ANYBODY -- I'M TALKING ANYBODY IN HERE EVER HAVE A NUT RASH??? I DON'T THINK U HAVE. I DOUBT U EVEN KNOW WHAT ONE IS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU WHAT A "NUT RASH" IS. IT'S A RASH ON YOUR FUCKIN NUTS. THAT'S RIGHT A SCROTUM RASH AND IT'S PAINFUL. I GOT ONE AFTER I LET SOME BITCH GIVE ME HEAD AND A 1 HOUR HANDJOB... SHORTLY AFTER (LIKE A DAY OR TWO) I REALIZED THAT MY DICK WAS TURNING RED AND IT BROKE OUT IN A RASH. SINCE THEN, IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS I HAVE SEEN OVER 7 DIFFERENT DERMATOLOGISTS, BEEN PUT ON A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS INCLUDING ANTIFUNGALS AND STEROIDS. AND FINALLY -- FINALLY AFTER FUCKING 2 MONTHS OF SUFFERING THE RASH IS ALMOST COMPLETELY GONE. BUT DAMN. IT TOOK A FUCKIN WHILE. AND EVERY DAY -- EVERY DAY I'M TELLING YOU WAS A LIVING HELL FOR ME. I COULDN'T SIT RIGHT, COULDN'T SLEEP RIGHT, COULDN'T GO OUT AND TALK TO PEOPLE CUZ THE THING WOULD ITCH SO BAD I'D HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE TO FUCKIN ITCH IT. I VISITED THE BATHROOM EVERY 5 MINUTES MY FRIENDS ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG BUT IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING TO TELL THEM U HAVE A FUNGAL RASH ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN PENIS, ISN'T IT ? SO QUIT WHINING ABOUT YOUR STUPID ASS PROBLEMS -- TO THOSE WHO ARE SICK AND IN PHYSICAL PAIN I CAN FINALLY RELATE TO YOU AND I GIVE U MY SYMPATHY CUZ THERE IS NO HELL LIKE THAT. FUCK IT HURT TO WALK TO MY MOTHERFUCKIN CLASSES FOR SO LONG AT THE COLLEGE I'M AT JUST CUZ OF THIS RASH. THANK GOD IT'S GONE BUT IT'LL DAMNNN 2 OR 3 MONTHS OF MY LIFE WASTED AND ALL THAT FUCKIN MONEY. ON TOP OF THAT I WAS ALOONE FOR CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS' I EVEN RAN INTO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND AT A KOREAN RESTAURANT IN ANNANDALE ON THE NIGHT OF CHRISTMAS !!!! I'M SITLL VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT CUZ I'M TOO SCARED TO APPROACH HER AGAIN SO WE JUST STARED AT EACH OTHER LIKE FUCKIN MORONS ACROSS THE RESTAURANT. PLUS I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE ME LIKE THAT -- FUNGAL RASH AND ALL -- AT THE TIME. NOW IT SEEMS LIKE LIFE WOULD BE BETTER CUZ THE RASH IS GONE RIGHT? MAYBE I COULD GO HOME AND CALL HER UP AND VISIT HER ? WRONG. CUZ NOW THAT MY PENAL SKIN IS BACK TO NORMAL MY FUCKIN FACE ISN'T. I HAVE TWO HUGE ZITS ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FUCKING FOREHEAD I WONDER WHEN THE FUCK IT'S GONNA GO AWAY. ANOTHER ONE I POPPED ON MY LEFT CHEEK AND ITS LEFT A RED MARK THAT'S BEEN THERE 5 DAYS ALREADY. AS LONG AS THOSE ARE HERE I AIN'T IN THE MOOD TO CALL ANY EX, OR ANY GIRL FOR THAT MATTER UP. I GO TO CLASS WEARING A VISOR CUZ I DON'T WANT PEOPLE SEEING MY FACE WHICH, WITHOUT THE PIMPLES, WOULD ACTAULLY BE NOT BAD LOOKING. ANYWAYS WELCOME TO MY HELL. AND FUCK YOU MORONS.|
|24 Jan 2002||The BiPolar Lady||Talk 2 me. Im bi polar so i kno wat its like 2 hurt. And no i wont cum out with sum kinda 'god luvs ya' bullshit cus it aint tru. I been thru more shit than ne fucker i kno. I got paranoia problems and god knos wat els. Life sux but sum ppl deserve a chance. Sure, it feels degrading 2 kno that a brain disease is takin ova u but if i can cope ne fucker can. I have dark moments and i have a lot of them but iv learnt 2 shut up and rely on myself. Yeah, lifes hard, its very hard and it often dusnt get betta, but u can stop ureself from gettin in the shit ppl like me hav got ourselves in2. If uve got sum1 2 talk 2 in those dark moments @ 2 am on a friday nite wen ure stoned or drunk and cant c 4 the tears and u just dont have the energy 2 scrape ureself off the floor then ure lucky. But if u havent then talk 2 me. I dont discriminate and iv been thru more shit than ud think. I wont lecture u ill listen. And i wont spin sum bull about life bein precious cos the world dont work that way. Even if u dont wanna talk about ure probs feel free 2 chat bout drugs or sex or wateva. Take care xxx (TheLadyKnos)|
|22 Jan 2002||chris||ok i have thought about it again!!! and i said that gas is the best way b/c it would just kill u in under one minute, trust me i used it on my dog and it's killed in damn near instanly. but since i was sitting here thinkin about it i came up with a better solution: what u do is get some gun powder, i mean get a lot of it. and what u do with it is put it in ur mouth and make sure that u have ur mouth completely full. and what u do next is get a match and put it in your mouth. and before u know it ur head is off of the rest of ur body. this is what i think would work better than swallowing a cupful of gas. and ppl say that slitting ur wrist doesn't work. i have never tried it but most ppl are pussies when it comes to slitting ur wrist. if u are going to do it make sure that u use a big kitchen knife and it would be better if it had a schraded edge. don't press down softly either. make sure that u press down with all of u might and make sure that u are excluded from ppl. be somewhere in the country or some shit. and i have one last way that i am going to tell u about. well i sat here and thought about this one for a while. but u have to find someone that is willing to take the death penalty!!!!! but u put ur head on a cinder block and the u have ur comrad that is there with u get a sledge hammer and in just one blow to the upper part of the skull ur are dead instantly. so find someone that wants to die so they will be willing to go to prison or have them have a gun and as soon as they have hit u. they take their own life. well, ppl while i was writing this i thought about which way i'm going to go. i'm fixing to end this letter to y'all. but as soon as i get off the computer i'm going to get a knife and just slit the fuck out of both of my wrists and then im going to light up a ciggy and remember all of the good times in life like smoking that kill. so ppl i hope that i have helped u in anyway that i can. but plz don't send any responses b/c i won't be here to answer them. so peace to all of my suicidalholics. and i'm going to be dead in the next 10 mins. hell i may even light up a ciggy and a joint, no fuck a joint i want a sweet (blunt) well im outa here. and mom and dad if u read this i just want u to know that i love u . bye bye dead 17 yr old|
|22 Jan 2002||chris||hey ppl i am not 13 i am 17. and today i got arrested by the cops b/c of my parents. and now i'm thinkin about doin it. and i hope that they really know that i love them so much. but i am just sick and fuckin tired of living. they don't know how i fell right now. i am most likely going to be put on probation and i'm not goin to cut for that shit. i was on it for 15 mths and i hated it . it's all their fault b/c they didn't have to call the cops. i swear i think about this all day everyday. and i don't know which is the best way to do it but i think that i'm going to get a cup full of gas and just drink until i'm not here anymore. god i just love y'all so much, mom and dad and even jason. and at my funeral i want want y'all to play my favorite song. and that would be high so high by south park mexican. and i want y'all to know that i love y'all very much and it all didn't have to come about this way, but it is the best thing to make me and y'all both happy|
|16 Jan 2002||Someone||It does take courage 2 die and I confess till now, I haven't got that courage. I'm only 14! People tell me I've got a way long life in front of me but who cares when you have to face the world everyday you're facing now?! I've done many things, broke many laws, never got caught and my parents just have no idea. It's hard to die when you have a big career dream in front of you and even if you know it might not come true, you're waiting for it. I have 2 dreams in a row about me going to die and I wake up n go: 'Oh thank god it's only a dream' then I began wondering if I really wanna die. But when you get real fucked by some stuff, you don't give a crap. I dunno... Life is messed up for me.|
|15 Jan 2002||black raven kempy||ok i am not under thirteen i am thirteen, i have been cutting for about three years. but everyone says it gets better blah blah blah.. it doesn't... believe me... it doesn't, your bullshitting yourself if you think it will because it won't. i also hate to pop all you shitheads bubbles but god isn't real and you are once again bullshitting yourself if you think he is. but as i was saying before, i do cut, i am not supposed to anymore because i made a promise to someone that i shouldn't have made. but i have tried to kill myself. and everyone always says "it hurts to much to slit your wrists" NO PAIN NO GAIN!! DEAL WITH IT!! it's supposed to hurt, DUH! But if you are really determined to kill yourself, think about it, you don't want to get hurt? you're a wimp! you gotta feel pain to make it better. duh|
|15 Jan 2002||MICHAEL JOSEPH SENNE, JR||DEAR WENDY, JEFF ,MOM ,DAD ,AND SISTERS,
BY THE TIME YOU ARE READING THIS I WILL BE SOMEWHERE ELSE I DON'T NOW IF IT WILL BE HELL OR IF IT WILL BE HEAVEN BUT MY SOUL WILL NOT BE ON EARTH ANY MORE. I AM VERY SORRY THAT IT CAME TO THIS . BUT ALL THE PAIN THAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING FOR AT LEAST SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE HAS NOW COME TO AN END. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. I FEEL THAT I AM JUST HURTING MORE PEOPLE THAT I AM HELPING AND THAT HURTS ME THAT FOR EIGHT YEARS OF MY LIFE I HAVE HURT MANY PEOPLE IN CLUDING YOU ALL . AND I JUST CAN'T FIND A WAY TO HELP THAT. IT REALLY SUCKS WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO DO GOOD BUT YOU ALWAYS END UP DO THE WRONG THINGS. I KNOW THAT NONE OF YOU EVER THOUGHT IT WOULD COME TO THIS BUT IT FINALY HAS. JEFF, I HAVE TOLD YOU THAT WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK YOUR TRUE EMOTIONS COME OUT OF YOU. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE REALLY DRUNK WALKING ON THE WAY HOME FROM NICKS AND I TOLD YOU THAT ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS DIE WELL. THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING FOR A WHILE NOW. IT REAYY HURTS WHEN YOU FINALLY REALIZE THAT ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN YOU LIFE IS TAKE DRUGS GET DRUNK EVERY NIGHT, BREAK THE LAW OVER AND OVER. THAT THERE IS NOW REASON FOR YOU ON THIS EARTH. I DON'T WANT EVERY ONE TO CRY AND MOURN OVER MY DEATH BUT TO BE HAPPY FOR ME THAT I AM NOT FEELING THIS PAIN ANY MORE. I AM SO SORRY IT HAD TO END THIS WAY.
I WOULD LIKE IT IF I WAS BURIED IN A CATHOLIC CEMETERY. AND IF YOU WOULD JEFF PLAY MY FAVORITE SONG AT MY FUNERAL. IT KINDA GOES GOOD WITH A FUNERAL WELL YOU KNOW THE SONG "IN THE END" BY LINKIN PARK. THANK YOU JEFF.
HERE IS MY WILL.
1.ALL OF MY CLOTHS GO TO JEFF HOLSCLAW
2.MY STEREO WILL GO TO WENDY CANNON
3.MY COUCH TO NICK GRIFFITH
4.MY KEG DEPOSTS TO JEFF HOLSCLAW
5.EVERY THING ELSE YOU MY PARENTS CAN DISPERSE
I SAY AGAIN I DO NOT WANT ANYONE CRYING OR MOURNING OVER MY DEATH. I AM SORRY IT CAME TO THIS BUT ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING IS GONE NOW.
SORRY, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH,
MICHAEL JOSEPH SENNE, JR
|14 Jan 2002||Jason||I am not under 13, I am 20. It is 13-Jan-02 and in one month I will be dead. I plan to shoot myself with my 20-gauge shotgun thru the back of the head. I will cock the gun, place it against my soft palate in my mouth and pull the trigger. It will leave a somewhat ok sorpes and be sure to do the job.
Please wish me luck. May everyone who is reading this find the strength to have the courage to end their pain, and others as I have found.
|12 Jan 2002||I envy the ignorant, too blind to see.||I've been over and over this site, reading all the serious suggestions, childish comments and "dont do it" messages from people that just do not understand. I am 17, over the last couple of years i've been realising how pointless and painful life is. To begin with there are no goals except for what you set yourself, but then, why bother? Society expects everybody to eventually get married, hold a job, buy a house and have children. In this time we live in it is so simple to get divorced marriage is needless. The amount of work involved in most respectable jobs leaves very little time to actually do what you want to do. The typical day for the average man/woman...
Get up. Go to work. Come home. See husband/wife/kids. Indulge in hobbies, generally including tv, music, computer... little time for anything major... so, who wants to spend their life like that? like the rest of the world? I know i don't, but that's not the only thing that keeps me constantly feeling down.
It seems to me that the people who are happy in life are the selfish people that are totally fine with hurting others if it suits their personal gain. That applies in everything, work, relationships, even queueing in line for a fucking macdonalds. You can work it out.
ok, a little about me... I consider myself fairly intelligent, not a bad looking person but nothing special, i'm comfortable with that, Yet for a reason i'm not quite sure of, i have very low self esteem. Like many others i self harm, my left arm is coloured pale skin with patterns of cigarette burns and cuts. I know some people talk about self harm on here and they lie. They talk about blood flowing from the cuts, maybe if that is across the veins I dont know because i don't cut there, but I know that anywhere else you would have to cut pretty damn deep to make the blood actually flow out that way, and that would be incredibly painful, i have held a cigarette on my arm for over a minute, after about 15 seconds it goes numb, but it's very painful at first, and the strawberry gashes on my arm from the shallow knife cuts hurt more than the cigarette, I haven't had the guts to cut any deeper. My depression first began when i was 15, as with many others it was caused by a girlfriend. I don't want to go into that but it started me thinking. After we broke up I was incredibly depressed for a few months until I met a new girl. I was happy to begin with but still held fear of getting hurt, and she spotted it. Not long after she told me she loved me, I thought it was too soon and told her to think about it but she insisted and still told me over the next few months. A couple of months later I fell in love with her too and thought things were looking up. Until she suddenly realised she didn't actually like me anymore. Or love me in the first place. The reason i'm saying this is because its the sort of shit that happens all your life. Love is the best feeling in the world, at least from what I have personally experienced and others say the same. But it never lasts. Nothing lasts, and nothing is worth living for. From all this I have come to the decision to end my life, and I think im going to use the carbon monoxide method by the car with pipe from exhaust through window technique, 100% effective so long as you are not spotted doing it within about 15 minutes, but I have never driven before in my life, and stealing my parents car is very risky. All i need to do is actually learn to drive so I can get to the isolated place i have in mind. I may be getting anti-depressants soon, and would like to know if it is possible to overdose effectively with them (as in die from them, not just take more that the stated dose, so no cocky emails please). Or if anyone has any better suggestions please email me, I will most probably help you out too if you are looking for advice or feel the same way as me and want to talk. This is basically a big fucking rant I felt i had to get off my chest, and i i would apologise but hey, you didn't have to read it. Great website mouchette, it gave me a few ideas.
|22 Dec 2001||Mary||ok, here it goes. i am not a teenager but i will tell you my way of getting out. Today i'm ready, my life is over, it has been for a long time. I don't want to leave any kind of mess for anyone to have to clean up, well drastic messes that is, like what you get from blowing your brains out or slicing your wrist. I have had to tell my husband (who I am now divorcing so he and our kids can move on), and i had to tell my shrink (who is an idiot) i don't see him any more and although i had to give details, you can't tell me they believed me, jeez like they think people can't lie wihtout blinking an eye. Fools, all of them. Anyway, here is my plan.... and i believe it could work cause it would be days before anyone found me and by then... you guessed i'll be gone. I plan to find a place to hide my car (already have it picked out but if i give details and i'm discovered then SOMEONE might try to stop me, like why I don't know but i guess they feel that it would be the hero thing to do). So i get in my car, park it, leave the motor running, go to sleep. It would be at least 3-4 days before i'm discovered, and if it's cool outside, maybe longer, not sure how long it takes for the body to start to decompose. So you see, no mess really, cause they can just tow the car to a dump and burn it with me in it and that's it, all gone! :) no blood, no brains, maybe a few bugs but hey, they have to eat too.|
|17 Dec 2001||Sara||none of u ppl who r sayin dat u shouldn't try to kill ur self have any idea wha their talkin about the live their happy little lives sheltered from the hardships and shit lives the rest of us have to put up with u have parents who listen to you friends who care and are lookin forward to x mass i like a few of u other ppl agree that suicide is de only way to be happy. i'm headin toward x-mas knowin dat i'm gonna spend most of it slashing my arms for the third year in a row while listenin to my parents fight about how much my mothers had to drink and when de slashing doesn't work crying myself to sleep ye dont know jack so get a life|
|16 Dec 2001||slag bag||im serah, and i'm 14 years old i can get very suicidal at times. my life is fucked up and so am i, i am a slut i had sex when i was 12, i self-mutilate, i drink, i do every fucking
i'm now listening to papa roach-last resort, i just feel so suicidal i will find some drugs haha
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