Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
07 Jun 2002 Ruler Asiatic The best way to kill yourself is not to. Everything happens for a reason and that reason is for over all good. You may not see it now because depression and pain are such blinding emotions that blur the underlined purpose. There is not one person on Earth who has not felt the pain and suffering you have felt, because that is part of being a human being. The people who have suffered the most pain in their lives and the most rejection end up becoming the most successful, Why? Because after all they suffered, and all their hardships, it made them stronger and immune to pain and enabled them to set out to do what they had to without fear of failure. My father was jealous of me and hated me and tried to say I was dumb, and said I wouldn't amount to anything and abused me. And I believed him. I did not want to live, this example probably pales in comparison to what some of you are going thru, but I understand your desire for suicide. This year I just graduated from Florida Southern College the top in my class and made my father look like an ass because he said I couldn't do it. And when you really think about it, when you commit suicide, YOU are not really killing yourself, you're allowing THE PROBLEM or the PERSON who is driving you to have these thoughts to do THEIR WORK. Don't eliminate yourself, eliminate the problem!!!
03 Jun 2002 Lisa Pills, I committed suicide last February '02. The best way to do it is to drink as much as you can, Midol, Cough Syrup, prescription medicine, tyenol, advil... glip down with some alcohol, it works. See, what it does is that it makes your heart beat super fast & you feel like your heart is gonna explode. People think pills are for whuss, yeah right. If you unfortunately survive... this is what happens, they stick a tube up your- (girls) & 1 up your nose & pumpin' pumpin' pumpin'. You'll have the shits for days, some say a month, & it's blue/black (it's called "charcoal"). They take you to the mental clinic, I was in there for 1 week, but for those who are under 18, I dunno where you go. Other then throw yourself into a meat grinder or put a bomb on yourself... make sure when you do it, YOU DIE. Cuz if you don't, if they take you to the hospital "unfortunately" on the nick of time & you survive, I'm telling ya, it's hell & more, worse than the reason why you attempted suicide in the 1st place.
14 May 2002 Hang In Hey..... don't kill yourself. seriously. i've been in hospitals and all. I'm 17. my arms are cut alllllll over. it's shitty, but once u get the rigt kind of help your life can turn around. No joke. Come on, just try to hang in there. Your filling out theese shitty forms from the sicko who made up this gay website as a cry for help. none of u truly wanna die. Trust me. i know. i've attempted many times. it's really not worth it. Think of one thing to keep u going. I know, i used to have nothing at times, but then something would keep me going. Try to do something in ur spare time like a hobby. Later.
08 May 2002 someone powerful in 10 years I am 19 and I can't remember I felt a prolonged period of happiness. I am not like most on here in any sense, I have never had a drink, never done drugs, waiting until marriage and mind you this is all by choice, but my life could be very different morally right now if not for a few unfortunate things. My father's death a couple of years ago caused me to become more moral, not religious, but not allow anyone to know me at all. I don't think I have had an honest conversation with someone since that event occured. I am a master of deception, I can put on a facade of nothingness, blocking out the pain and leaving the mystery about me. I have been blessed with a lot; I have a future, and everything most could want. BUT I have an emptiness within me. I AM CONVINCED THERE ARE A FEW MARKED HUMAN BEINGS THAT HAPPINESS WAS NOT MADE FOR THEM TO REALIZE. I am one of those people that will be eternally void of love and contentment, but I have accepted it. The pressure put on me for grades, ect.. have caused me to not cause anymore pain to my family. I do have a drive, but that is out of necessity to better others, not myself. There is no hope for me, although my life will be filled with fame and power on the highest of political positions one day, I will always be the one person no one can know or ever will know.
29 Apr 2002 amandahlynn I tried to kill myself last year, I took between 20-30 Paxil, painkillers, sleeping pills for 6 days straight. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, I shook violently, I couldn't write, I couldn't read, and I wound up in the emergency room and institutionalized. From someone who knows, you don't want to wind up like that. It's not worth downing a 16 ounce cup of CHARCOAL to coat your stomach to keep the drugs from entering your bloodstream. It's not worth seeing your mother and your best friend with their eyes bloodshot from crying, sitting across from you in a hospital room. It's not worth the monitored phone calls, the nurse that stays with you 24/7, and it's so not worth the $11,000 hospital stay bill. Because after you die, people around you miss you, and you're not even around to tell. My friend committed suicide, and she never thought her parents or friends cared until after she was gone - then she should have seen how many came to her funeral, how many of her friends gave eulogies, and how many people cried when her coffin was being put in the ground. But she wasn't around to see any of that - because she thought if she ended her life, then HER pain would stop. HER pain just lived on in other people. She hung herself, and you know how painful it is to see your friend hanging from an eletrical cord from the basement ceiling, with blood streaming down her stomach from where she stabbed herself? Do you know how painful it was for my parents to get a phone call in the middle of the night saying their daughter was in critical condition because of an overdose? Don't put others in a position like that. I can understand suicide, I really can, but I just want suicidal youths to know there are other ways even though it doesn't feel like it. I started my life over again. I've had lots of slip-ups but now I'm doing better than I ever was. I still cut - still overdose - but I'm trying to stay away from positions where I put myself out to be hurt.
26 Apr 2002 demonic angel (responding to "in search of an answer")
hey i have an idea: run away from your problems, u say you have an abusive brother, run away to covenant house or some other place, it's better than killing yourself, you don't really have that many reasons to anyways, ok? And so your mom's a bitch and she wants you to be the best... HELLO!!! THAT MEANS SHE CARES ABOUT YOU!!! AT LEAST YOUR MOM DOESN'T MAKE FUN OF YOU AND SAY THAT YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF HER PROBLEMS!!! (that i'm not sure of, though) my mom nearly died of alcohol poisoning and she blames me for it! She beats the crap out of me sister who is gonna turn 12 soon while my brother (6) is screaming bloody murder at her! oh and at least you have a dad! he may be in a wheel chair but you have one! my father walked out on me and my mother, she was so mad at ME for that, that she left me with a schizophrenic grandfather! And you know what he did when he found out that i wanted to kill myself? Instead of giving me help the motherfucker yelled at me! So you think you have problems? Have you ever had to live off the street? Eat out of fuckin garbage cans? When i ran away form home i went 1 week withought food! At the end a half eaten wendies hamburger looked good enough to eat! One week all i had was an open bag of peanuts i found behind a dumpster! and i didn't kill myself, i just went with it even when i got cought stealing some food at a mall and i got arrested i didn't kill myself. Thing will get better for you and if your brother bugs ya again let me know i got fucking connections around here........ if you live in Toronto i can help you.... and if not just run away, or get a fuckin swat team after him! You can charge the bastard for assault! Tell everyone you know and you're not a piece of shit! Think better of yourself and things will get better, they sort of for me....
19 Apr 2002 oh,.,, today is my birthday, im 19 now,., i love this question and these answers,.,,, like small words get filled up when all these people explore them,.,,, i dont know why i look at this site all the time,.,, i cant say i like anyone's answer in particular,., i dont want to be alive a lot but i cant say i relate to what anyone here has had to say,.,,. i look around on the internet a lot when im sad because there's so much to see and plus i feel pretty alone and i try to find at least one other person that could think like me,.,, it hasn't worked yet but i think the internet is the wrong place to look,.,, anyway,., i just felt like celebrating my birthday here instead of anywhere else,.,, becoming part of all this other unfulfilled muck that can only find its strength and meaning from people's constant amendments to the way this website looks,.,., i feel like i should answer the question simply because it's there,,.,, but im very good at making music and i constantly look forward to a day when im famous and i can set up a video camera and cut my wrists pretty bad but not enough to kill my tendons and tape me playing piano and see how long i can stay conscious,.,, i think that right now that is the most beautiful thing i can give to this world,.,, i would play my prettiest song and anyone could watch me dying spitting out the best my mind can do at trying to react to life,.,,,., i spend hours and hours a day making up songs on a piano and a lot of the time im thinking of how perfect it would all be if my wrists were pushing out my blood and i knew i had to do the best i could because those would be the last notes i would play,.,, and then to have it on tape to show other people like me so they can cry like life really is this bad,.,
09 Apr 2002 Karlynn hi i'm 14 and i attempted suicide around 10 times, once i slit my wrist damit it hurts that's not the best way, the other time i took a tylenol because the docter said that i have a 50/50 chance of dying. All that happened was i got vilently ill. other times were pretty much the same.
26 Mar 2002 Richard Manfre Whatever you do don't try using bleach. It only eats away at the inner lining of your esophagus and if it even gets down your throat into your stomach it only eats away at the lining of that too. Bleach is not something that is able to be kept down by your body. I'm not sure why. But it just doesn't. I've tried it before. I drank almost a full cup of it. All that happened was I vomited it up and ruined my mother's carpet and my clothes. I tried this when I was 17. I am now 19. I'm thinking of trying something else again though....
20 Mar 2002 It Really Doesn't Matter... My confession: I'm 23. I have lived my whole life doing right - never did drugs, slept around, helped my single mom out by taking a job and always working to help her and my younger siblings. My point is I discovered it really does not matter in the end what kind of sacrifices you made. Life does not reward you for being decent or a good kid, student or person. No one will come up to you and tell you that you did a good job resisting peer pressure. I have discovered in my 23 years that the bad guys or the people who live it up turn out just as fine as the ones who struggled for the basic. My point: it really doesn't matter. Sluts wear white on their wedding day, adulters funk around all week then go to church on Sunday, and it's the good guy that will get fucked in life. Why bother to live in a world where you did everything right by everyone's standards, only to discover that it really doesn't matter... if God was so concerned about good and evil God would do something about it. I for one have decided to end this bullshit life for myself.
19 Mar 2002 Riley I used to love myself and my life. I've always been someone who other people could talk to. I was good at listening. Then one day a friend of mine came to me for help. He was thinking about killing himself and wanted someone to be there for him for a change. I listened for a long time until he was finished talking. Then I talked. I told him about all the reasons he had to live. I told him that there was people who actually cared about him and that it was all in his head. After that we would talk a little everyday. He was slowly getting better. A while after that I started actually thinking about what I was telling him. I slowly began to realize what I load of shit it was. I began to relate to everything he was telling me, then I started realizing that there really wasn't much there for me and what there was, was just too painful. I realized that before I was living a complete lie. I am ugly. I am stupid. I have no future. Why should I keep living in the pain of knowing that everyday? I dont want to go back to living that lie. The only reason I'm stil here is cuz i want to keep my friend from killing himself. I know that sounds odd but I do care about him much more than I do myself. I want to be free of this. All of it. The pain, the want, the guilt of knowing I will never be good enough. I want out. After all, a little bit of pain is worth complete freedom, isn't it?
18 Mar 2002 Ben my biggest problem is that my brain constantly works. i wish you could stop your brain from working, at least in certain areas. im addicted to pills an alcohol, oh yea that helps i guess. but i find myself thinking more in depth on how my life sucks, how my hate is growing and my love is rapidly leaving me. i dont want to die without pain. i want to die slowly and painfully so i can cry again. man im not even sure when is the last time i truly cried. crying use to feel so good, but i guess that's when i truly felt anything. well i dont go around saying go ahead kill yourself, but if you feel like its the only way, its up to you. i dont want to better myself any longer i no longer wish to wake up everyday. i just want it to stop for me. ive never been selfish in my life... and if this is selfish then its been 21 years of unselfishness, its about time i had my due.
16 Mar 2002 Cant take downs butthole When I was 8, I tried 2 jump off 9 stories building with my younger sister only 6. In the end, we went back to bed instead. Right, you're thinkin "Hello?! 8!!?? What problems is there supposed 2 be?!" Being eight years old wasn't an easy task for me. I'm 13 now, and I'm still lookin 4 the way n courage 2 die. Life has ups and downs, well, just take it that I'm that butthole who can't take the downs. Struggling my whole life to meet my parents expectations are crap. They just can't accept that I'm 1 of those students who's lazy, always wants fun, super money spender and just waste my life away. People just don't seem 2 understand what I think and that pretty much suck. I have 2 asshole parents who think they're doing all the good sorts for me but...
04 Mar 2002 Already Dead Well it's a done deal. I am officially going to end my life tomorrow, March 4th(my birthday). What's the meaning of life anyway? Pain and suffering+ being a slave of money until you die. To all you peeps who think it will get better as you age, it won't.
Now if you are depressed and wanna kill yourself, I suggest, it helped me get through some bad times but it's just not helping anymore.. I gotta go, cya on the otherside..
27 Feb 2002 Tami I remember when i was 9. My parents got divorced and dad moved out. Dad and i were best friends. We did everything together. It wasn't long after that, that i started to feel very unhappy. I have felt unhappy since then. I have come to terms with dad leaving, but now he has left for good. He died July25, 01. Dad was the person i always talked to about anything. Even if "my way" was wrong, he never told me i couldn't do anything. The rest of my family just never listen and to top that my mom is a bitch. Anyway, when i was nine, i thought if i jumped in front of a car, that would do it. Well, i'm 30 now and that car still drives by every day. Funny how it became to look like a gun. I still think about killing myself everyday. Honestly, i don't think it will ever go away. I've been admitted to several hospitals and all they do is give you an anti-depressant and tell you to call them in a week. There is no magic pill to make these thoughts go away. I talk to my pychologist once a week, but it seems to me that we never solve anything. I'm starting to wonder if there is anything to solve. Something stupid keeps me alive everyday. Even if it's just a tv show. Some of you may be laughing, and i understand, but to me you must realize that this is not a joke. Now that my dad is gone forever, it will only be a matter of time.
25 Feb 2002 Julie I had a friend that i was close to, we did everything together. we were like sisters. we changed together, we went through the prep, fucked up and that is were we stayed. we often cut our wrist, od on tionl, and did all the fucking drugs we could get our hands on (for being only 12 & 13). I stopped because i had been sent away for a wile. when i came back she was almost dead. she had cut-up most of her body from head to toe, i had to convince her she was doing something wrong. Now WE are going thrugh the freak stage but when people look at us they see all of our scars on our arms, legs, and during the summer on our stomachs. we lived through it and now we are happy that we are still alive.
23 Feb 2002 LaDonna To anybody of any age that thinks of suicide: I went through many years of actually planning it and almost carrying through. I have gotten past that but it the thoughts of suicide, death, and dying cross my mind often. I suffer from depression and anxiety. These thoughts still happen though take medication. I have times of joy and inbetween as well. I am labelled a bipolar or manic depressive to some. I believe we can't ever get rid of the bad completely. I am learning to live with the flow. Music is a great help as well as are other people. Feel free to write to me if you want to exchange thoughts. You will get no preaching from me about whether or not to do anything. Everyone must make their own choices in life. I choose to keep living. To me, it is the best choice. I care about me. It did take a long time for me to care when no one else did. Peace.
14 Feb 2002 Meika In response to my own sugestion:

What I meant is that it does'nt give a person the right to kill themselves. It is just an understanding of why people do.

I've been there....and I'm still alive to prove that we all have suicide thoughts at one time or another. We are not alone in this thought. Every one starting at the age of 9 to when we die will have these thoughts. As a child we may have had some rough dealings and believe that by killing ourselve is a way to spite those who did us wrong. When I was 10 I threatened to jump off the bridge, all because I was confused and did not understand the situation at hand. My suicide thoughts did not end there. I was later diagnosed with clinical depression and it was traced back to the age of 3. The only thing I have'nt tried is to hang myself or to shoot myself. I have OD'ed many times. I also have had an abusive relationship of which my partner mentally, physically and sexually abused me. I now because of this am a much stronger person.

I now see what the situations are and personally believe that for myself....time heals.

I have studied, got a degree in fine arts. I am a professional artist. I manage a web magazine based in fashion and soon another based in art. I will also be dealing art and fashion as time goes on.

Life is not what it seems when you see the greater picture.
07 Feb 2002 jo hill i posted a couple of days ago, looking for pill information. it's 4 am now and i've been having a very very bad night. i got online to check this site and my mail to see if there were any helpful suggestions about pharmaceutical suicide for me. instead i found the following email from a friend who lives in europe. i haven't heard from him in 2 years. i apologize to him for reprinting this, and advise you that english is not his native tongue, which is what makes his writing style so charming.

"Dear Jo.

first of all: happy birthday! It has been quite a long time that you have been blessing this world with your presence, and this deserves celebration. Reading newspapers I often arrive to the conclusion (and I think you share this point of view) that this, should be the most horrible planet of the Universe, or better said, since the Earth is a beautiful place, after all, the planet inhabited by the most horrible and destructive of the species. In this moments of crisis it is always good to think a bit, and then you arrive to the conclusion that this world is horrible, but we always have Josephina Hill. It may seem little, if you think it like that, but it makes all the difference. You are this little bit of salt that transforms a dish not even acceptable for dogs into a dish of a three stars michelin restaurant; you are the litle candle that changes the darkness of the horrible dungeon into the romantic cavern, or the peace of the chaple. You are the litle water that makes grown flowers in the dryest dessert. Although you will understand better what I mean if I tell you, that for me, and for many in this crazy world, you are the little whisky that makes coca-cola interesting.

In another words, I thank God to have created you (a work so fine and so excellent, that only can be the work of someone not only almighty, but also good to the infinite), that He put you in my way, and that I have had the chance of meeting you, of sharing some whiskys, some interesting discussions, some good moments in some good places, and a whole lot of great letters.

It is just the last one, the pretty Christmas card that you send me (what a difference with myself) that made me remember how nice you are. A real friend. However, once again, I see that you've been suffering for the international situation, for the twin towers atack, for the reaction of your country, the war, the Middle East situation, the new budget, etc.

Well, let me tell you, that, for once, I probably share your point of view on all the subjects. I must add my shame for the humiliating response of the European Union to the situation. So far so bad. What worries me most, however is YOUR suffering. It is true, we are in the middle of a mess, the world is colapsing, nothing is going well. It is difficult to be happy in such conditions, but Jo-see, it is not your fault. You were born in the USA but you are not the president. Your country has done wonderful things as well. If you can do something to change the situation, well. If you can read, think, try to understand it, wonderful. But don't feel think it around, don't feel sad. Look for the good things of your life. You have your family, your friends, and you can even see Oscar Peterson LIFE!!!! (I feel jealous).

I have always asked for your prayers. I'm sure that they have help me a lot during this decade that we have been friends. And I feel thankful to you for them (of course prayers mix well with whisky. One thing does not contradict the other, and I'm also thankful for the whiskies we have taken toghether). But since we have been most of the time separated by 8.000 miles, it is good to ask a Common Friend to look after one another. So I'm going to pray for you now. It is my turn. I'm going to pray the Lord, that you have in you the same peace that the world needs; that He keeps you the big heart that makes you involved in other people problems, but at the same time, that He protects it against anxiety or grief. Of course I pray the Lord that he find a nice guy to you, and not like the two stupid blind fellows that were incapable of realizing the kind of girlfriend that they had just found. If some day they found a diamond in the street they will probably kick it.

Well, Jo-see, just tell you that I will pray for you. I'm sorry this is not one of the good old letters of the past. A computer is not like the good old pen, and it is quite late at the night of a long working day. But I'm determined to write something more digne of your eyes for the next letter. I just wanted to reply anyhow to your postcard with the promise of a normal letter with news from myself and my life in the capital of Europe. But before, please, let me hear from you.


wow. that letter sure stopped me in my tracks. fate, chance, serendipity, God? that i should receive this tonight? (to be cliche), in the moment of my darkest hour? it's potently obvious that i can't kill myself tonight. probably not for a little while yet.
02 Feb 2002 Andrew n Redding I think the best way to kill yourself would be to run your parents' car in the garage and have a hose from the tailpipe to the window and make a small crack so the bad air can get it but not a lot can get out- put your foot on the gas so more will come out-then you fall asleep and you never wake up then all the mother-fuckers that did bad shit to you will feel like shit thinking that they could have saved you-i play on doing this cause everyday i wake up feeling like shit and i feel even worse every single day and mainly cause i dont know the cause of this. i have all the friends in the world i get everything i want and i can do anything i want- my parents let me do all kinds of drugs and tell me that i shouldn't but they don't give a fuck anywayz all my friends think i should get help and that it's gunna get better- well FUCK THEM those cock sucker jew-bitches dont kno shit they dont kno what i have to feel every day of my life and they dont kno all the shit i have to do though in my life everyday so fuck the world cause life ISN'T worth living and i think if you really are depressed and feel this shit pain everyday then you should kill yourself like i plan on to tonight-everyone one wish me good look and i hope to maybe see some of you where were all going


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