|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|09 Mar 2003||une vierge non suicidée||mouchette, je n'ai pas trouvé la meilleure forme de suicide, mais déja je t'en donne une qui ne marche pas: prendre environ 30 cachets d'aspirine. c'est trop de la merde ca, j'ai essayé, ça m'a rien fait, c'est dégueulasse, j'ai fini à l'hosto en réanimation, et, un an après, j'ai toujours pas trouvé d'autre solution. J'ai aussi essayé de m'ouvrir les veines, ça pue la merde, mes ciseaux coupaient pas, et en plus, ca fait trop mal. Si ça peut t'aider tout ça...|
|19 Feb 2003||suicide note XXX||If I could go back in time, and visit myself, do you know what I would say to my younger self? I would say, "KILL YOURSELF! LIFE IS NOT WORTH CONTINUING!"
My biggest regret in life is allowing it to continue for so long.
I'm not going to let it go on anymore, i am going to stop this pointless existance RIGHT NOW. i tried to be a good person. i tried to be me, but i dont know who i am, i'm scarred of what i am. Anyway, i wanna thank all the people that know me on the net for being my friends these past few months and i really appreciate it. I hope you all find peace soon (whether you live or die).
Mouchette, i hope you never close this site cause its a good thing no matter what anybody says, your site helped me a lot. All i can say to you kids (or anyone) who are thinking about killing themselves is to wait a few months, you never know, things might get better for you. If it doesnt get better, and it comes to the point where everybody hates you, you havent got any friends, you only go out at night so normal people dont see you, and you're going through mental torture everyday, and you've forgotten who the fuck you are, THEN do it. thats the stage i'm at you see, i have tried. Anyway, i am aware that i'm going to hurt my family a hell of a lot by doing this, nobody could possibly understand how sorry i am. But i'm too far gone, i have only two options:
1) end this pointless life
2) live an unhappy life isolated from the world going through mental torture everyday and past memories haunting me for the rest of my fuckin life, to save my family the hurt of losing me. TOUGH choice! but i'm going for number 1.
In the past suicide attempts i have done, i have told my family or someone i know, that i was going to kill myself (the reason i did this was so that i could say goodbye!) and i either got caught or was stopped from doing it. But this time, i am not going to make the same mistake, i am going to do it without giving any indication that i'm going to do it (apart from this suicide note, but no one that knows me in the real world knows this suicide is from me). Anyway, its time to do it, i have 90 10mg valium and a bottle of vodka, i've finished crushing half of the tablets and i have put them in the bottle, i will swallow the rest (i fuckin hate sallowing pills). I sincerely hope you all the best in whatever you choose to do. And to all of you that think no one cares or loves you, YOU@RE wrong, i care, i love you, i feel for you, i know you're pain. Believe me i do. I am going to go now, i have put my favourite tunes on, i have my cigs right next to me, and i have a spliff which i will smoke after i've drunk and swallowed everything. See ya..... Lots of Love Kim XXXXX :)
|31 Dec 2002||Liza||I really don't know what to say on the subject, either way. I've tried to kill myself before, but was stopped by so many things. One of my friends is just like me, depressed, lives in a fucking hell hole, and hangs on to life by a thread. And I only saw that when I realized how close I was to killing myself. Because that thread was me. She told me once, and I didn't believe her, how she would become a damn whore, selling herself out if I were to die. But I get that now. And she's not the only one that depends on me. My girlfriend ( what, you have a problem with me being bi? )... she used to have problems like that. And I know that if I killed myself, she'd flip out. Start hurting herself again. She might even kill herself. And I would feel like such a damn fucking asshole if she did that. Because I care about her so much, and... and... I wouldn't be able to stand the thought of her dead.
But telling someone that they're being stupid for wanting to die... that's not helping. Pointing out all the people that would miss you doesn't help much either. My parents have a problem with me being who I am. A girl who loves another girl. They've banned me from going over to anyones house, from seeing anyone outside of school, and they've tried to ban me from talking to 'her'. And they fight. God, I'm sure some of you know, a lot of you know how this feels, but to those who can't understand why anyone would want to die... have you ever come home to a place where your parents are always screaming at each other? Where you can't tell what's going to happen the next day? And you can't even leave that awful place, because your parents want to punish you for being who you are? It hurts, damnit. It hurts a lot. And no one understands... they all tell me to stop, to quit hurting myself, not to kill myself, that so many people would miss me. Well, to a point, fuck them. It's not fair. Your life shouldn't be hell.
|17 Dec 2002||Annette||Well what do u know...toda is my bday. Why did i need to make it. I took 43 fucking pills(excuse my french)!!!!!My G-d?!! What the hell is it gonna take to kill me! its like the more i take th less serious the results are. All i did was throw up 3 times. It was sooo annoying. o yea my heart starting beating fast too thats it. lol it was pretty funny though cause i told everyone it was from eating "bad cheese" HAH. yea well anyways now im def scrwed cause i haveo more pills left. i took all the ones ossible from my numerous occasions of when i OD'ed. Ye wel if you guys hae any ideas imdeinately up for thm. I cant live anymore this life isnt for me. My friends and jus everyone around me but especially "certain" freind (s) of mine make me wanna do it. The most recent weh ni did it yesterday was becuase of a "friend". i udnno if thats the proper termfor her but whaever. ok i have togo now bye bye. Ill try again wiht something else next weekend. byee|
|10 Dec 2002||Ti-bulls||Je c pa je ne l'ai pas encore trouver ms je peux vs dire de ne pas tester l'alcool a bruler a la place de l'eau ca ne marche pa !!!! J'en suis la preuve vivante !!!!|
|28 Nov 2002||Mary Jonstone||On coming across this site I felt that I wanted to share my story with you. I have written it out in detail and only a small bit (the beginning) I have put on the site for space reasons. Want more, reply by e-mail
I was 14 at the time. A horrific incident to say the least. In our smashed vehicle beside me lay my badly disfigured uncle. I had been riding in the front seat in the middle and to my left was my brother. He was gasping for breath and spitting blood at the same time. Myself, I don't know how but I was unharmed but for some blood coming from a gash on my forehead. Blood was everywhere and lots on me. Later on after all the injuries had been accounted for, little of it was mine. The frightful thing for me as I sat between two of my dearest friends was that only moments before I had been thinking of death. It was an ongoing theme for me. As a challenged teenager the thought of killing myself came to mind frequently. Now death it seemed was on my doorstep although not in the way that I had imagined. When will the rescue people come? Time was standing still and stretching out forever, complete shock and disbelief had numbed me. I felt so helpless and responsible at the same time. What about my uncle and brother? Some one help us, Please.
|27 Nov 2002||Jenna||This really doesn't have anything to do with answering the question at hand, but I have to say this anyway. I am really sick of everyone saying that "you should just talk to someone" or "you would feel so much better if you talk to someone"! And I don't just mean on here, I mean every site i've visited on depression or suicide says the same thing. I have tried to talk to friends about it, i've even attempted suicide before, but my so called "best friend" and her cousin caught me. And guess what she said after, "you just did it to get attention." Ya that's it! And I gave your cousin a bloody nose for pulling me off the train tracks for attention too. I can't even talk about the incident with her because she makes me feel stupid about it. I've tried to talk to other people about it too, even my boyfriend, but no one ever gives a shit. No one wants to hear your sad stories, it just brings them down. I've been contemplating suicide since I was 12 years old, I am now 22. You'd think if someone really cared they would have helped me by now. I've tried and tried to make people see how I feel but either nobody notices or they just don't care to notice, I don't know, but I give up! So to all you people out there who think I just need to go talk to someone, all I have to say is FUCK YOU!!!|
|19 Nov 2002||HaVe No OnE||Ok I wrote before sayin I wanna die and shyt. Ya sometimes (most of the time) I feel that way. But the other night I was for real about 2 kill myself when one guy.. Cal.. made me feel completely better. He didn't even say anything about me being stupid 2 wanna commit suicide. It was a regular conversation. I guess what I'm trying to say is wait a little longer because you never know when that special someone will turn u around. But I still fully support anyone who knows they have nothing... don't think ur phsyco or anything.. don't worry...|
|17 Nov 2002||chris||I'm not 13 i'm 23. For as long as I can remember, I had this feeling that somehow I would have been better off stillborn. A lot of people just cannot accept that a person, regardless of age, would simply not want to be alive. They will tell you that you are selfish, you're just "at that age", the bible condemns it, what about your family. And countless other trendy phrases aimed at swaying your thoughts. Never have they woken up crying, wishing for an end, longing to just go back to sleep, for everyone to go away, for everything to forget you, these people have no clue. If you or anyone you know feels like this, talk about it, surround yourselves in an atmosphere of peers who know what you are going through. My mind does not possess the proper language to annunciate to anyone reading what I mean.
I know of a kid 20 years old, shot himself. It's just devastated his family. And it's easy, even for me, to tell a person to "just go get help". But that is what you have to do. And if you are one of these fruity bastards who would say to anyone displaying suicidal behavior," you're selfish, stupid, etc...", shame on you.
|09 Nov 2002||Teresa||I've been slitting my wrists for the past 2 years. I've been suffering depression and been getting in a lot of trouble and i thought suicide was the way out, and i still have the feeling it is. I usually do it with all different types of razor blades. I sometimes slit my wrists for no reason cause once i started i felt like i couldn't stop. I'm still surviving of course and i've been covering it up a lot, but it's not easy.|
|08 Nov 2002||Missing Dyl||Sorry but this is a sick site, not a good way either. My friend died recently -first encounter i've had with death. No 1 had any idea he was depressed. I see his twin sister and brother. Don't do this people! Imagine what your friends and relatives will go through. Imagine seeing your friend lying there in a coffin as i had to see mine. imagine that... it's not a good feeling crying for ages mourning for them to come back when it ain't gonna happen. My mate just had his 18th Birthday and about 300-500 people went to his funeral not everyone could fit in the building. He was a special person and is and always will be. I think you all know someone special in your life so imagine if they killed themselves. I know it's hard for u to believe me but this true what i'm saying. I have had thoughts and had many friends say that they wanna do it. this site... i can't believe the things people write! If they have been what me and my friends have been through they wouldn't say crap like they do. Hope you all take care of yourselves and cherish moments with your special people.
Oh and by the way if they had done our school photos a week earlier he would have his pic in the year book but no, so he's not in the year book either. i'm putting a pic of him i have in mine where he is meant to be.
|06 Nov 2002||Well... i don't think it's a bright idea to do that.. but i have tried. when i was 8 years old till i was about 12 i was gettin molested. and i hated everyone. i didn't think i was good enough for n e thing so i figured if i died all the shit would just be over.. and it got worse. me and my mom fuckin hated each other, me and my sister fought a lot.. and i was a lil drunk/druggy. so i just took a knive in the bathroom and tried to kill myself! all i could think about was how much of life i would have missed out on.. i wouldn't have kids/husband i wouldn't be able to go to college get a good job nothin.. and i realized that i shouldn't have to suffer for people's mistakes. for my mom's mistake of not knowing. for his mistake of doing that to me.. i was killin myself over other people's shit.. now i quit drinkin. smokin weed n e kind of drug i quit.. still smoke but.. i'm here. i didn't let bad fuckin people make me think my life is not worth living.|
|04 Nov 2002||Justine||I came across this when i decided suicide was my only answer. I have not attempted yet, but I do cut myself. I do not slit my wrists, because I did not always want to die. I'm not even sure if i do now. But i do need control and release. By being able to bring pain to myself I can control some emotion, nothing can hurt me like i can. I need that control or i would lose everything. And the release... seeing your blood and knowing you have drawn it... it's satisfying. Of course it all ties back the idea that there is so much pain in my life, that if i can get a leg up on it, i can be in control. I hate my life, i hate myself. I go to a school where nothing but perfection is allowed. And you must follow everyone else, and you must be fake, and superficial. If money isn't your first priority, to hell with you. Money isn't my first priority!! it means nothing to me. It's stupid. If you need money to be happy you have no soul. And where is the joy in being like everyone else? Everyone else is that way, be different! be bold, be your own person. dont conform. UGH! this may not seem like a lot, but to me it is. Not to mention i have seen much more terrible shit in my life. From divorce, to death, to drugs, to rape. I've been through it all. And I will never be sane, and don't claim to want to be, but to be happy... i know i can, if i can get out of this place, my school. It's drowning me. It's erasing who i am inside slowly, day by day. I walk into the lobby and I can feel my individuality being ripped away from me. Everyone tells me i'll get better, i know i won't. Not until i get out of this school. Not until i can be myself. I am myself, but i'm not accepted, anywhere... anywhere here. And if i'm not accepted anywhere at all, then so be it, but i can't live on behind this screen of blurr. I don't want to fade out into everyone else. I want to stand out, to be my own person. But until then, i'll cut myself, i'll burn myself. I mutilate myself, because it's the only way i know how. And when it comes, that i have nothing left inside of me to hold on to, then i jump. I live on 17, it's garanteed death. What holds me back now is that somewhere inside of myself is the real me, and if i get out of my school, it will live on, and i am willing to keep myself alive for that. The other thing is my family. They would be so affected, i don't know if i could put them through that. I don't think I could ever be that self-centered. Not ever, but if I loose who i really am, it won't matter either way because i'll either be literally dead, or i'll get into drugs and sex and my mind and soul will be dead anyway, dead and tortured. I need help, so much help. And i know it. And i know what i need, out. Out of my school... out of this type of life...
I'll be back, I love the idea of this page by the way. It's helpful, thanks!
|01 Nov 2002||loser||I am almost 30 and have constantly thought of ways to die since I was a teen. I have told myself that life has ups and downs but now I think that is a sorry excuse. What is the purpose of the down period? Why must we suffer? Unlike a few of your other posters I have not used drugs, have not had multiple sexual partners, basically I have tried to live a "good" life and yet I am still "here" after all these years. Slipping back into the hole. The only thing that stops me is the fear of eternal damnation. If I could just close my eyes and never be simply cease to exist as if I never was.....|
|25 Oct 2002||annette||yes yes ive been here soo many times writing how this is the time im gonna end it. well that thing that seomone wrote that u should slit your wrists then sit in a hot bath. i never tried that. maybe that is why it never worked when i slit my wrists. and also when someone wrte to OD on an empty stomach. DUH im so stupid no wonder why every time that i did OD all i did was throwup the food with the pills. well anywayz yea life sucks ass and i feel like such a worthess piece of shit. well i think im gonna try the wrist thing after school tomorrow and since its winter i can cover it up by wearing long sleeve shirts:) ok cya|
|17 Oct 2002||another saved soul||I may not be under the age of 13 but have been suffering from severe depression for the past several years. I have many times thought of killing myself, the number of times i've put the gun to my head or held the knife to my wrists or throat are uncountable. The only thing that stops me is that I know that there are people out there that truly care about me. The only advice I offer to those of you who want to die is that it isn' t worth it. Tell someone they will listen and may be able to get you some help if not help you themselves. Trust me I know that it feels like no one cares, I thought this to until room mate and best friend came home and found me bleeding from cutting myself. I wanted to die but talking to him made things easier and I have begun to see that there are people that care. Don't do it or at least reason with yourself first and understand that human life is short as it is. I have a tattoo on my back now that represents to me life. I would like all of you considering suicide to think of this first. "The sun will always rise again on another day, the past is gone and the future is coming. Live life in the present and live up to your expectations not others."|
|04 Sep 2002||Pat||I've read some of the stories on here and i have to say my problems don't seem so bad compared to some of these people... I think everybody goes through that stage where they feel sorry for themselves, but i'm tired of feeling sorry for myself ... and i'm tired of sympathy from other people. My problem (not that it really matters) I'm a big "fuck up" I've been messing my life and others up for a while now.. probably since i became a teenager. But most of my problems right now revolve around a girl (pathetic.. i know). I just can't make any right decisions, can't stay away from the drugs (police), other girls!!! :(
And i treat people like shit. I don't like who i am and every attempt i've made to improve my life has failed . all i do i fuck up worse. it's gotten to the point where i really don't think i can fix it, and killing myself sounds pretty nice right now. I didn't write this for sympathy... just wanted someone to know my story.
I love you Nicole.
|31 Aug 2002||-----------||i once tried to slit my wrist and i hit the artery perfectly. i waited to die and was almost successful until my room mate came back two days early from her vacation. i almost lost my hand and had to undergo serious surgery to repair my tendons and actually lost my artery and my ulna nerve. i have no feeling in my pinky and ring finger and a huge scar from the surgery were they had to make extra incisions to repair my tendon. i do not have full mobility and feel pain each day from my wrist. i can do things with my arm but it hurts with each movement.|
|27 Aug 2002||Fucked up||Its 6:28 AM and every time i fall asleep someone calls me and wakes me up or my parents do. I haven't slept more than 2 hours in a row in days. And yeah I know, this isn't my own personal journal to write this stuff in and i'm sure no one wants to read about it but i'm bored out of my mind and no one else will listen.
so hmm... how does my life suck now? well my ex bf / best friend told me the other day that when i kill myself he wants to be on the phone. And today when i said i might have done too much dope cause i couldn't swallow he said he hopes i od. My other best friend who has turned into a bisexual but won't admit it, wants me to go to her house and "do stuff" with her. We used to be so close and tell each other everything and now she has to go and turn into a lesbian and ruin it all. And to think, all those times i changed my clothes in front of her thinking nothing of it. My parents either don't take me seriously or just dont give a fuck about me. And i'm too young to drive or do anything so i'm pretty much stuck here for the next few years (assuming i live that long) So basically, my life sucks. Then people wonder why I'm depressed and tell me to get help. I don't need a counsler, i need money! If i had money i could get my learners permit, rent an apartment and get the hell out of here before i do something drastic like suicide. I plan on taking about 6 10 mg valium and then going to take a nap on the railroad tracks. it's just a matter of time before i go through with it.
|17 Aug 2002||suicidalgirl||Apparently my parents know about this site now. So I came in my room the other day to find my mother and father reading my post and laughing. yeah mom and dad, its real funny that you do drugs and i was brought up around them my whole life, its funny that i want to kill myself right? They dont take me seriously, my mom says "oh dont be silly" when i say i want out. dont be silly?!!? what the fuck? i want to die, i seriously want to fucking die, how is that "silly"? they tell me to go to a counseler, like thats gonna help. counselors have never seen anyone od and have to drag them down the flights of stairs to an ambulance, they werent doing crack, heroin, pills and so many other things at my age. So how can they help? tell me to go on paxil for my overwhelming depression? No I dont think so, im not gonna be controlled by some mind altering drug. And to someone who asked if there is any other atheists in here, YES RIGHT HERE! I dont believe in a god there couldnt be one, it just doesnt make sence. And I know my parents will read this and i dont give a fuck.
To my parents: Stay out of my fuckin business! you never gave a fuck b4 so why do you wanna read my posts? its not like your gonna care if i kill myself anyway. what will it be about 2 weeks of mourning? big deal! then its over with and forgotten.