|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|17 Nov 2002||chris||I'm not 13 i'm 23. For as long as I can remember, I had this feeling that somehow I would have been better off stillborn. A lot of people just cannot accept that a person, regardless of age, would simply not want to be alive. They will tell you that you are selfish, you're just "at that age", the bible condemns it, what about your family. And countless other trendy phrases aimed at swaying your thoughts. Never have they woken up crying, wishing for an end, longing to just go back to sleep, for everyone to go away, for everything to forget you, these people have no clue. If you or anyone you know feels like this, talk about it, surround yourselves in an atmosphere of peers who know what you are going through. My mind does not possess the proper language to annunciate to anyone reading what I mean.
I know of a kid 20 years old, shot himself. It's just devastated his family. And it's easy, even for me, to tell a person to "just go get help". But that is what you have to do. And if you are one of these fruity bastards who would say to anyone displaying suicidal behavior," you're selfish, stupid, etc...", shame on you.
|09 Nov 2002||Teresa||I've been slitting my wrists for the past 2 years. I've been suffering depression and been getting in a lot of trouble and i thought suicide was the way out, and i still have the feeling it is. I usually do it with all different types of razor blades. I sometimes slit my wrists for no reason cause once i started i felt like i couldn't stop. I'm still surviving of course and i've been covering it up a lot, but it's not easy.|
|08 Nov 2002||Missing Dyl||Sorry but this is a sick site, not a good way either. My friend died recently -first encounter i've had with death. No 1 had any idea he was depressed. I see his twin sister and brother. Don't do this people! Imagine what your friends and relatives will go through. Imagine seeing your friend lying there in a coffin as i had to see mine. imagine that... it's not a good feeling crying for ages mourning for them to come back when it ain't gonna happen. My mate just had his 18th Birthday and about 300-500 people went to his funeral not everyone could fit in the building. He was a special person and is and always will be. I think you all know someone special in your life so imagine if they killed themselves. I know it's hard for u to believe me but this true what i'm saying. I have had thoughts and had many friends say that they wanna do it. this site... i can't believe the things people write! If they have been what me and my friends have been through they wouldn't say crap like they do. Hope you all take care of yourselves and cherish moments with your special people.
Oh and by the way if they had done our school photos a week earlier he would have his pic in the year book but no, so he's not in the year book either. i'm putting a pic of him i have in mine where he is meant to be.
|06 Nov 2002||Well... i don't think it's a bright idea to do that.. but i have tried. when i was 8 years old till i was about 12 i was gettin molested. and i hated everyone. i didn't think i was good enough for n e thing so i figured if i died all the shit would just be over.. and it got worse. me and my mom fuckin hated each other, me and my sister fought a lot.. and i was a lil drunk/druggy. so i just took a knive in the bathroom and tried to kill myself! all i could think about was how much of life i would have missed out on.. i wouldn't have kids/husband i wouldn't be able to go to college get a good job nothin.. and i realized that i shouldn't have to suffer for people's mistakes. for my mom's mistake of not knowing. for his mistake of doing that to me.. i was killin myself over other people's shit.. now i quit drinkin. smokin weed n e kind of drug i quit.. still smoke but.. i'm here. i didn't let bad fuckin people make me think my life is not worth living.|
|04 Nov 2002||Justine||I came across this when i decided suicide was my only answer. I have not attempted yet, but I do cut myself. I do not slit my wrists, because I did not always want to die. I'm not even sure if i do now. But i do need control and release. By being able to bring pain to myself I can control some emotion, nothing can hurt me like i can. I need that control or i would lose everything. And the release... seeing your blood and knowing you have drawn it... it's satisfying. Of course it all ties back the idea that there is so much pain in my life, that if i can get a leg up on it, i can be in control. I hate my life, i hate myself. I go to a school where nothing but perfection is allowed. And you must follow everyone else, and you must be fake, and superficial. If money isn't your first priority, to hell with you. Money isn't my first priority!! it means nothing to me. It's stupid. If you need money to be happy you have no soul. And where is the joy in being like everyone else? Everyone else is that way, be different! be bold, be your own person. dont conform. UGH! this may not seem like a lot, but to me it is. Not to mention i have seen much more terrible shit in my life. From divorce, to death, to drugs, to rape. I've been through it all. And I will never be sane, and don't claim to want to be, but to be happy... i know i can, if i can get out of this place, my school. It's drowning me. It's erasing who i am inside slowly, day by day. I walk into the lobby and I can feel my individuality being ripped away from me. Everyone tells me i'll get better, i know i won't. Not until i get out of this school. Not until i can be myself. I am myself, but i'm not accepted, anywhere... anywhere here. And if i'm not accepted anywhere at all, then so be it, but i can't live on behind this screen of blurr. I don't want to fade out into everyone else. I want to stand out, to be my own person. But until then, i'll cut myself, i'll burn myself. I mutilate myself, because it's the only way i know how. And when it comes, that i have nothing left inside of me to hold on to, then i jump. I live on 17, it's garanteed death. What holds me back now is that somewhere inside of myself is the real me, and if i get out of my school, it will live on, and i am willing to keep myself alive for that. The other thing is my family. They would be so affected, i don't know if i could put them through that. I don't think I could ever be that self-centered. Not ever, but if I loose who i really am, it won't matter either way because i'll either be literally dead, or i'll get into drugs and sex and my mind and soul will be dead anyway, dead and tortured. I need help, so much help. And i know it. And i know what i need, out. Out of my school... out of this type of life...
I'll be back, I love the idea of this page by the way. It's helpful, thanks!
|01 Nov 2002||loser||I am almost 30 and have constantly thought of ways to die since I was a teen. I have told myself that life has ups and downs but now I think that is a sorry excuse. What is the purpose of the down period? Why must we suffer? Unlike a few of your other posters I have not used drugs, have not had multiple sexual partners, basically I have tried to live a "good" life and yet I am still "here" after all these years. Slipping back into the hole. The only thing that stops me is the fear of eternal damnation. If I could just close my eyes and never be simply cease to exist as if I never was.....|
|25 Oct 2002||annette||yes yes ive been here soo many times writing how this is the time im gonna end it. well that thing that seomone wrote that u should slit your wrists then sit in a hot bath. i never tried that. maybe that is why it never worked when i slit my wrists. and also when someone wrte to OD on an empty stomach. DUH im so stupid no wonder why every time that i did OD all i did was throwup the food with the pills. well anywayz yea life sucks ass and i feel like such a worthess piece of shit. well i think im gonna try the wrist thing after school tomorrow and since its winter i can cover it up by wearing long sleeve shirts:) ok cya|
|17 Oct 2002||another saved soul||I may not be under the age of 13 but have been suffering from severe depression for the past several years. I have many times thought of killing myself, the number of times i've put the gun to my head or held the knife to my wrists or throat are uncountable. The only thing that stops me is that I know that there are people out there that truly care about me. The only advice I offer to those of you who want to die is that it isn' t worth it. Tell someone they will listen and may be able to get you some help if not help you themselves. Trust me I know that it feels like no one cares, I thought this to until room mate and best friend came home and found me bleeding from cutting myself. I wanted to die but talking to him made things easier and I have begun to see that there are people that care. Don't do it or at least reason with yourself first and understand that human life is short as it is. I have a tattoo on my back now that represents to me life. I would like all of you considering suicide to think of this first. "The sun will always rise again on another day, the past is gone and the future is coming. Live life in the present and live up to your expectations not others."|
|04 Sep 2002||Pat||I've read some of the stories on here and i have to say my problems don't seem so bad compared to some of these people... I think everybody goes through that stage where they feel sorry for themselves, but i'm tired of feeling sorry for myself ... and i'm tired of sympathy from other people. My problem (not that it really matters) I'm a big "fuck up" I've been messing my life and others up for a while now.. probably since i became a teenager. But most of my problems right now revolve around a girl (pathetic.. i know). I just can't make any right decisions, can't stay away from the drugs (police), other girls!!! :(
And i treat people like shit. I don't like who i am and every attempt i've made to improve my life has failed . all i do i fuck up worse. it's gotten to the point where i really don't think i can fix it, and killing myself sounds pretty nice right now. I didn't write this for sympathy... just wanted someone to know my story.
I love you Nicole.
|31 Aug 2002||-----------||i once tried to slit my wrist and i hit the artery perfectly. i waited to die and was almost successful until my room mate came back two days early from her vacation. i almost lost my hand and had to undergo serious surgery to repair my tendons and actually lost my artery and my ulna nerve. i have no feeling in my pinky and ring finger and a huge scar from the surgery were they had to make extra incisions to repair my tendon. i do not have full mobility and feel pain each day from my wrist. i can do things with my arm but it hurts with each movement.|
|27 Aug 2002||Fucked up||Its 6:28 AM and every time i fall asleep someone calls me and wakes me up or my parents do. I haven't slept more than 2 hours in a row in days. And yeah I know, this isn't my own personal journal to write this stuff in and i'm sure no one wants to read about it but i'm bored out of my mind and no one else will listen.
so hmm... how does my life suck now? well my ex bf / best friend told me the other day that when i kill myself he wants to be on the phone. And today when i said i might have done too much dope cause i couldn't swallow he said he hopes i od. My other best friend who has turned into a bisexual but won't admit it, wants me to go to her house and "do stuff" with her. We used to be so close and tell each other everything and now she has to go and turn into a lesbian and ruin it all. And to think, all those times i changed my clothes in front of her thinking nothing of it. My parents either don't take me seriously or just dont give a fuck about me. And i'm too young to drive or do anything so i'm pretty much stuck here for the next few years (assuming i live that long) So basically, my life sucks. Then people wonder why I'm depressed and tell me to get help. I don't need a counsler, i need money! If i had money i could get my learners permit, rent an apartment and get the hell out of here before i do something drastic like suicide. I plan on taking about 6 10 mg valium and then going to take a nap on the railroad tracks. it's just a matter of time before i go through with it.
|17 Aug 2002||suicidalgirl||Apparently my parents know about this site now. So I came in my room the other day to find my mother and father reading my post and laughing. yeah mom and dad, its real funny that you do drugs and i was brought up around them my whole life, its funny that i want to kill myself right? They dont take me seriously, my mom says "oh dont be silly" when i say i want out. dont be silly?!!? what the fuck? i want to die, i seriously want to fucking die, how is that "silly"? they tell me to go to a counseler, like thats gonna help. counselors have never seen anyone od and have to drag them down the flights of stairs to an ambulance, they werent doing crack, heroin, pills and so many other things at my age. So how can they help? tell me to go on paxil for my overwhelming depression? No I dont think so, im not gonna be controlled by some mind altering drug. And to someone who asked if there is any other atheists in here, YES RIGHT HERE! I dont believe in a god there couldnt be one, it just doesnt make sence. And I know my parents will read this and i dont give a fuck.
To my parents: Stay out of my fuckin business! you never gave a fuck b4 so why do you wanna read my posts? its not like your gonna care if i kill myself anyway. what will it be about 2 weeks of mourning? big deal! then its over with and forgotten.
|16 Aug 2002||Tessa||Whahaha, I was just looking for a songtext when I found this page.
I don't know what the best way is.
When I was 11 I tried to slit my wrists with a knife, but I got scared, started thinking how people would react if I wasn't there anymore. (at the time children called me names and stuff for over a year, i got sick of it, and they hurt me really bad).
When I was 12 we moved, things were fine. Then when I was 15 things got bad again. Somebody died, school, me, just things that happened in the world.. I started to slit my wrists, now for real, not with a knife, but with cissors (how do you write that word?) The first one was at April the 13th, 2001. I stopped at a point, because I wanted to give myself a little more time, there was a concert coming up, my first one from the band that I still like. Their music saved me in some kind of way. But in another way it destroyed me more. I didn't quit slitting my wrists, I just always stopped when it started to bleed. Maybe I didn't really want to die. I was depressed then.
Someone told me that I should talk to professionals, but I didn't want to. To me those people are people who pretend to know everything about it, but they just can't if they haven't done it themselves, if they haven't lived trough the same things as me.
Now at this time, my life is great except of the bad things that always happen when I have a good time, so I can hardly allow myself to have a good time, because I am afraid of what might happen.
I haven't slit my wrists for a while anymore, I've got now more than 8 beautiful scars. There are I guess 2 or 3 people who know about this. Not even my parents, they are too busy with their own things.
I don't know if I will ever try again to kill myself, I know I can't promise not to.
Maybe this is a good way to try, maybe not. If you do, you have to cut very deep (and good).
A few years ago I read a poem about cutting wrists (sorry, can't find it). It said that you have to sit in a warm bath and then slit your wrists, because of the warm water the blood will keep flowing.
Actualy I hope that you don't follow the advice, but it is your own decision.
Now when I'm down I write about it (stories and songs) and it helps to talk to someone. (I tell different things to different people, so they never know the real me). Maybe you can try that too.
(I'm 17 now, and still alive. I gave myself another year and see how it then is, so maybe I'm gone next year)
|25 Jul 2002||Velguader||I've tried killing myself as well. First was the wrist slitting (doesn't work) then gas (doesn't work) and then I tried hanging (got busted). Right now... my life still sucks and i would prefer death. But wouldn't you know it. A month at a child psychiatric centre and I've lost my nerve. I keep a bottle of pills hidden in case I ever face a great tragedy and I regain my nerve. I'm 16 now. I bumped into this site when I was 14. I was looking for a painless method of suicide. Anyways, I've sort of changed my life. Instead of following the shitty depressing path of going to a hard school with people that don't like me, I've just stopped altogether. I live in my room and read comics and play video games. I guess I sort of have commited suicide. All you might need to do is find out what's bugging you and get away from it. I got tired of being in a fucking sausage factory of a life. I hate shallow petty assholes that were my "friends" just so they could feel better about themselves. Maybe the answer isn't suicide. Maybe it's eliminating the OTHER part of the problem. You have just as much a right to live as everyone else. Do you take the nitrogen or the gycerine away?|
|15 Jul 2002||sad and suicidal||This morning I woke up with a bad feeling in my head, once again I'd woken up to depression, on and off for the last year I have turned myself into a pin cushion.
I'm 15 too right, my body is scarred and many a time I have tried to kill myself, but for some reason I can't, it never works, I took an overdose and had my stomach pumped, I've repeatedly slit my wrists but I've always had people helping my. What I dont understand is, if I wanna die, why cant I? Why do I always have people trying to stop me? I know they love me but if they love me enough they would respect my idea to do it, I'm slightly worse this month, it's coming up to the anniversary of a close friend's death who commited suicide almost a year ago.
I dont know why I'm writing this, it's not worth it.
|13 Jul 2002||Annette||well yea im here to complain again. i tried sooo hard to think of how i should stay alive and it just doesn't work. if anyone of u had a friend like i do then you'd wanna do it also. and a life tha i do trust me you'd be tempted veeerry easily to end it. and i've even tried EVERY possible way. i lost track of how many times of attempted. well i guess tomrrow is prob just gonna be another attempt but maybe 57 pills would work good. bye bye|
|06 Jul 2002||Gary-17yr||k...
I'm about to do this right, and-do it now.
I'm here in arken-red-neck-vill.... I can't take it, I figured I'd do some reading about suicide before all of this, and I found this site, and so I just wanted to give my last words and a bit of a story about this.
My name is Gary Linton, I was born and lived for 9 years in a town in Missouri, and then to where I am now. My parents never listened to me, especially when my uncle forced me to give him oral sex when I was 7. I was beaten by my father for "degrading a respectable man" FUCK HIM!! My parents neglected me when I was a child, never giving the time for me, all they cared about was... was their stupid fucking jobs and money for a real house.... Hitting me when they had a problem with something not even related to me.
I just hate life in general and I have read what a lot of you have said.. You're right. Fuck those who don't get how shitty life can be, fuck those snobs down the street with the $100 shirt, hat, shoes and pants that are all pre-worn. Fuck my uncle who got away with something no one even believes me for. I don't fucking give a shit!.... heh, Dad finally left the gunrack unlocked....
You'll reading this, maybe even mail me and say "funny message"... well, I won't be here to say "thanks" back. I'm hitting enter, and then blowing my brains out, I suggest if you're under 13 then you can do it too.
count to 10 starting now... Bye
|05 Jul 2002||Hopeless, Useless and High||I'm 15 years old, from the USA and I think life sux! No one understands me, my parents think I'm crazy and that I say I don't wanna live just to get attention. Fuck attention! I just want out. I've seen too much, done too many drugs and know too much. I've got too many problems to keep on living. I can't find a good bf, I spent all my money on concert tix and weed so now my phone is about to get turned off and I owe money on all my credit card bills. I grew up watching my parents and ppl I didn't know doing drugs and committing countless crimes, two of my parent's friends committed suicide and although my parents always talk about how they took the easy way out, I think it took courage and I admire them for going through with it. If only I could get the courage to do it. But I figure I should use the time I have left to fuck around, skip school, not listen to authority figures and just drink and do as many drugs as possible, if i cant find a way to kill myself I'm sure that if I keep these habbits for a while I'll die soon anyway (and have fun in the process)
Peace Out fellow suicidal ppl
|18 Jun 2002||Nurse Betty||Ahhh Mouchette, what do you think? And 13, really? The French must be so advanced from us American Barbarians! I am tired of seeing so many people botch the job of trying to kill themselves. So tired. The new bride, who married on Friday and shot herself in the temple on Saturday...body alive and donored out 5 days later.... The 60 yr old after drinking Whiskey and taking Valium who missed his brain but blew out an eye and will have permanent sinus problems...the many, many vegetables who linger in rest homes with brain injuries from pills that only cause oxygen depletion to their brains, but not death. Was I suppose to answer your website without my name or email? What people choose to do with their life is not my problem. If one were to read your site, suicide would be delayed quite a long time don't you think, Mouchette? One can not encourage something like suicide. Each decides for theirself. Have I answered your email to your satisfaction? Good Luck with your Kit. Do you think Mattel will Market it?|
|17 Jun 2002||phsyco#777||i was thirteen the first time i tried to commit suicide and clearly it didn't work. i stole my mother's vp commodore and went to my dealers house and scored $100 worth of pot, i smoked that down to the last crumb, i drove around for around 24 hours and then i decided to finally do it while i had the chance.... so at 210 kmph i slammed myself (and the car) into a cement wall. the wall collapsed and i was stuck in the car ALIVE. i fell into a coma for three weeks, i was then assesed by a psych doc and i was locked up for three years of my life. now during those three years i stole the hospital car and slamned the fucker into a steel pole at high speed (fuck those air bags). i slit my wrists, hit an artery and passed out in the shower from blood loss. i hung myself from the tree in the court yard and passed out. i swallowed a razor blade in the hope that i would cut all my guts open and die of internal blood loss, it just came out in my shit! i tongued all my meds i collected around 200 sedatives at 10 mg each and all that happened was ...i got a stomach pump (charcoal). they put a tube down your nose and pump you full of this black shit. oh and i'll tell you some thing else .. if you want to escape the whole hospitalisation thing then all you have to do is tell them that you are feeling fine now that you now appreciate your life and that you want to live life to the fullest or some bullshit like that . but NEVER under any circumstances do you tell them that you want to die, they'll lock you away, and believe me once your in there it's so fucking hard to get out. it makes your desire for death become a need|