|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|12 Apr 2004||lost||I think about killing myself everyday, no joke. No, it's not the best thought in the world, but it races through my mind every day. I tried killing myself by taking a bottle of pills, but I only through them up. I tried suffocating myself, but i chickened out at the last minute. I ask why I am here. I want to know the point of life. I don't know what to do. Every time I am about to kill myself, I chicken out. I cut myself a lot and I don't want to go to any therapist. I just want to die. Please help me.|
|10 Apr 2004||Joyce||Ok, there is no good sure way to kill yourself. Had friends who took pills and ended up mental cause it was caught in time to leave them a veg. Then a gun, blew half his brain out, left a veg and worse off. Then rat poison, left them with stomach problems - someone always seems to find you in time it seems, the car turned on with the tailpipe steaming - no the neighbor is too nosey. It won't work if God has a plan for your life - if he plans to use you as a garbage can or something like he does me. There is no abuse or pain that I have not suffered from my fellow man. I am bankrupt, divorced, remarried, abused, laughed at, sick, handicapped, you name it. I don't think you are weak if you think about it, I think you are a good person no one cares about. I am very pretty and talented and have 5 kids, but my husband is abusive and everyone around me is selfish and uppity. They all mock me out and tell me how to run my life. It's lonely. I just sit most days, go to work where I don't get paid in the greenhouse cause it is a pipe dream of my husband that it'll pay off someday. I come home, work more, and it ends with sleep. I wait I work, I sleep, I pray God will just take me that is how you commit suicide for REAL - give up and let God use your life for whatever he decides, which my purpose is a toilet for other people to crap on.|
|04 Apr 2004||bt||I'm not 13. Actually, I'm just over 15, a male, and my life is pretty bad (at least I think so). I was diagnosed with anorexia about 6 months ago, and I've been recovering *extremely* well. I was the one who initiated help, and I really worked hard to get better. But, a few months ago, a was diagnosed with depression. I'm on my third type of anti-depressants, and on a pretty high dosage. Soon after that, I started cutting.
The cutting was pretty bad, but I've been challenging myself to see if I can stop, and I've been luckily able to. My legs are pretty scarred up, but there's not much I can do.
With me, I find it hard to go on because I don't see the point in living. I have great relationships with girlfriend, parents, family, friends, etc. But, even with that, I cannot see the point in living. I keep asking myself what the point of life is, and I don't believe in religion. I'm an unofficial anarchist, and I think that religion is stupid -- but that is *solely* my opinion.
I'm also asking myself and seeking answers to questions about the universe, who humanity/galaxy was created, who I am in this world, etc.
I've had suicidal thoughts the last few weeks. Not very bad, but a few times I have started planning. But, after I informed my psychologist that I had these thoughts, we made a promise that I have to call her if I am thinking of doing anything.... which I will live up to.
But, anyway, other than that I just felt like adding my story. Thankfully, I have a *fucking* wicked psychologist, who is really helpful. This might be just because I was lucky, but if you are thinking about suicide, get a psychologist -- and one that you like. I know, sometimes it's not possible, but she is who has really saved me.
Anyway, if there is anyone out there who just wants to relate to someone else about what they're going through, I'm here. I'm going through a tough time too, so talking to other people is always good. Thanks.
|28 Mar 2004||A Confused Girl||I am 14 now and I live in California... I never really thought my home life was that bad so I never realy considered killing myself, but ever since 8th grade started I have been getting into a lot trouble... drugs... grades... alcohol... and friends.. I was grounded almost every other day and it sucked. I am one of those people that always thinks ahead and one day it just came to me, while i was crying over my boyfriend dumping me that i had so much more shit coming in my life that I wasn't ready for. I have only been suffering from depression for around a year but it's getting worse, i've already cut my self, but just once to see what would happen. I often get nightmares about death and suicide and it freaks me out... i never know what the dreams mean. Lately I have been thinking more and more about suicide... the more I thought about it I realised that I never could think of anything I wanted to live for... actually I considered doing it tonight and that is why I am telling all you strangers... I guess you could call this a good bye... Thank you for listening to me... you are the first to do that.... i hope your lives go better than mine... these are my last words... good bye!!!!|
|21 Mar 2004||Christine||In the first place i would like to ask... Why do you want to do such a thing? I am a mother of a 7 yrs old boy who lost his father to suicide when he was only 18 months old. I to this day am in a new relationship but still suffer from this awful thing called suicide. My son to this day asks questions about his father and cries every night to have his father near him. You don't just hurt yourself doing this you also hurt many people who love you after you end your life. I till this day miss my son's father and have many unanswered questions that can never be answered. I am also depressed and is on antidepressants but that would never make me end my life. I have thought about it when i was younger but now i relieve how much it hurts the people you leave behind. So please don't ever commit suicide before you even think about it go get help please.. Do it for the ones who are left behind when you would be gone....|
|15 Mar 2004||Hmmm...||Alright.. you all have wrote a little bit about your life... here's some of mine..(im over 13. im 17)
To cut a long story short..
I wont go into reasons why Im suicidal i dont see why i should tell you, Its my stuff, no one needs to know.
I was in a 'hospital' because I had been suicidal for a while. I didnt have anything to live for, im guessing you all know the feelings that are inside and how much some one hurts when they're suicidal?. I learnt never to trust anyone, the only person I could truely talk to, was myself, I met Shane, In the hospital he was there for the same reasons, we clicked, it took us 4 months to actually talk to each other and realise that we could trust each other, he was the only reason i was alive, I was the only reason he was alive, but we both had bi-polar (manic depression) and paranoid shizophrenia, it was hard seems we both had it, it got really crazy sometimes, it was kinda hard dealing with self harm too, but we made it as long as we were 2gther, but as all suicidal people no, u cant get rid of the feelings, he got too depressed one night, he wasnt thinking straight... he OD on Acetaminophen..... (paracetamol) LD-50 (mg/kg) 338 oral, 500 i.p./Generally Takes Bout 2 Weeks 2 Die, Usually In Great Pain From Kidney And Liver Failure... he was in a coma for 3 weeks.
When he came around because of the time the pills had been inside him before he had his stomach pumped, his memory was really bad, he couldnt remember anything since octbober, he couldnt remember me, He thought he hated me, every time I would see him he would freak out at me and hit me, He was given 4 weeks to live, because of his liver.. i had to stand around and watch him slowly die and not even talk to him, all im trying to say by postin this if, if ur really want to die, do anything but OD, then if it doesnt work.. other people dont have to suffer too, fine u wonna die, i totaly understand that, just dont take anyone else down with you..
|15 Mar 2004||fiona||hi im 14 and have tried to commit suicide 8 times but evey time some bastard has to keep me alive!
1. slitting my throat (bled alot thought i was dead but i woke up in hospital craddled in my moms arms)
2. swallowed 100 paracitamol (puked alot my mate called 999 and i had my stomach pumped)
3. tried hanging myself on the hook of my door (mate came in with my mom and cut the rope i was revived by my mom)
4. cut all my veins in my arms (my cousin walked in to tell me dinner was ready and called my mom i pumped full of blood in hospital)
5. it was my other suicidal mates idea to eat frozen meat get food poisoning bad and die( just made me puke and shit alot)
6. jumped from the 4th floor of flats (broke my collar bone and was in a coma for 3 weeks)
7. i tried drowning (my mom walked in when i was unconscious she revived me and give me a 4 hour lecture on how much it hurts her to see me do this)
8. and finally i got my mate to tie a air tight bag over my head (but when i fell unconscious she thought i was dead and took the bag off and told my mom what happened so my mom tried to revive me and guess what bad luck for me, it worked)
my mom keeps a constant eye on me now as she knows how i am. i have been put on tablets to help me as they think i have a mental problem but i will try again could you give me away to do it? im getting fed up of waking up.
email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
|15 Mar 2004||sarah f||I am not 13 - i am turning 21 this year but i have been severely depressed for the last 5 years. i had done the overdosing of pills and ya - it is completely useless - you still wake up. i would also be called a cutter because that in my opinion is the best solution to pain - it is immediate. i live a good life, with good girlfriends, great parents and the best pets in the entire world. When i started cutting, i have just lost my best friend and boyfriend and i didnt know what to do other than cry and in anger i took a knife out and cut over 200 times into my arms. My parents found out so when i continued i kept it secret - the cuts got very deep and i still look at the scars and i feel nothing. The suicide attempts and episodes of cutting i am sure will continue until the day i die. I constantly hope i am killed in a car accident or murdered or whatever. For the people (like me) who want to die more than anything in the world i'll tell you what keeps me here: i can't abandon my cat and dogs - they need me; i couldn't be responsible for the pain my parents would feel for the rest of their lives and that's it. I am scared because i think and my best friend who just ditched me is sure that i will succeed when i really decide to do it. If you are at all unsure, wait it out - you can kill yourself when you are 30 if that is when you actually become sure - there is no rush. I had to tell someone this so thank you!|
|10 Mar 2004||Zack||Hello, I'm not sure exactly why I'm writing here... It really doesn't seem like my sort of thing to get sympathy from random internet people. But since I found this site I might as well tell my story. About a year and a half ago I tried to kill myself. I took a full bottle of bayer asprin and half a bottle of rum (knowing alcohol and asprin don't mix). I had consumed a large amount of asprin and a fair amount of alcohol within about 10 minutes. Not long after I had started to question what I had just done, but then figured it was all for the best and would be worth it in the long run. I decided to go to sleep and expected not to wake the next day. I woke up at 12:00AM as scared as I had ever been. Not only because I felt weird, but because I wasn't dead. I lied in bed for about an hour wondering what was going on inside my body, when I decided to get up and get a glass of water so I could maybe fight off what I had just done. Soon after I was vomiting heavily. I made sure not to leave a mess so no one would find out, and then I went back to bed. I surprised myself a 2nd time when I had woken up once again. There was an intense ringing in my ears that I wasn't sure would go away, and it felt like someone had beat me up then drugged me. Supposedly I have made a full recovery (from the attempt at least) but I'm not sure, because I never ended up going to the hospital or ER, so I may very well have permanent damage, but it's not seeming likely. I still have to tell anyone about this besides my close friend that I just recently started talking to again. The reason I ended up here is because my "depression" seems to have come back. I thought I had got over this about half a year ago; I would constantly make sure not to let myself feel bad. But yesterday morning I woke up and it's back. And this time I can't get over it as quickly and simply as I normally do. The truth is, I found this site by searching for the simplest method to commit suicide since I hated my previous/non-working method. While typing this I've been continuing my search and have found a couple sites. But since I found this one I figured I might as well give this a shot too. I don't really know what to expect in replies, and I also don't think this will effect me but.. Well that's my story...|
|09 Mar 2004||Krista||I've visited this site every few months to read about everyone else and I felt it was my time to contribute. In high school, I was "perfect." I was one of the best students, I played alot of sports, I chaired organizations, had lots of friends and was actively involved in community service. I got into one of the best colleges in the country and that's where I am now. And I'm fucking miserable. I've always felt depressed since I was a child but could never talk about it to people but for some reason I think telling it to strangers will help. My heart goes out to everyone who lives such rough lives, I'm sorry that you all had to go through such terrible things. And on the outside, everyone always thought that I had a great life but no one really knew what was going on on the inside. And now at college I'm finally breaking down. I haven't done any work all year. I haven't gone out. The doors open, I'm smiling; the door's closed, I'm crying. I don't know why I've never been happy. I've had shit happen to me like everyone else. But I don't think that's why. And I've never been able to talk to anyone about it. I've never told anyone the things of my past, maybe because I'm ashamed. I've never told anyone I've contemplated suicide and now I want to. Life sucks.|
|02 Mar 2004||Issued Girl||well, im not under 13, and i dont know the best way to kill urself when ur under 13, but i do have a story. im a 15 year old girl, and i have been suicidal since i was about 7 years old. my mom and dad would always fight non stop when i was young and when i was 6 they got in a huge fight and my dad moved out. then shortly after my 7th birthday he committed suicide. ever since then, my mom hasnt been there for me, shes beaten me, she actually has tried killing me... when i was about 12 she tried killing me. she tried stabbing me, and it worked. she stabbed my arm, because i moved. but ever since i was 7 and my dad died, i have been a loner in the family, and everyone would hit me and hurt me all of the time. they all call me names and things and i have nothing to use against them. ive tried killing myself numerous times, and ive been popping pills since i was 12. everyday i think about killing myself, im failing my classes because i dont have the ability to focus anymore. ive had 3 people in my life commit suicide and ever since that third person did it, ive felt it was my turn. i pop pills about twice a week sometimes only one and then i will try to cut myself and just watch it bleed for a lil while. ive tried hanging myself one time, and i have tried slitting my throat a few times.
What i think is, is that if your under 13 you dont need to die or commit suicide. youve got your life ahead of you, live it well... you only get one chance. I know im not a great person to be taking advice from but trust me ive been told millions of times that i shouldnt commit because ive got my life ahead of me...
|23 Feb 2004||omen||Firstly slitting your wrists is painful, slow and ineffective. If you live (which is very likely) you may have only succeeded in cutting off some of the functions in your hand. Secondly, Suicide is not the only answer. even though it seems that way at the time. I have had suicidal thoughts for about six years now, contimplating it to the point of planning it. I was boulimic, and highly anxious. Getting out of the house was a terrifying thought, I would have to prepare myself for about half an hour before i left home, even to go to school. I quit all the sports I was doing, I cried myself to sleep, and the only time I could feel any real emotion was when I hurt myself. My parents know I was unhappy, well mum does anyway, but they have no idea about anything else. I cut myself but only enough to not leave a scar so as I could still hide it. Two years of throwing up almost everything I ate was really taking its toll on me, I read that it was some sort of avoidance behaviour. I don't know. But slowly things started to change for me. I got into uni, and have now almost finished my degree. All of these feelings of invisibility, and worthlesness, come back now and again, but I'm dealing with them differently. there is hope. Just give it time.|
|16 Feb 2004||Sara||I am a 14 yr old girl with many problems, yes, i have tried killing myself numerous times! I know it is a sick and painful pleasure of all of ours.... i dont know why i still do it. I am failing in skool, and i cant even concentrate on my social abillities. It is impossible for me to function in an everyday life. Why do i feel this way you ask? One reason, is because of my 39 yr old father. He is an alcoholic, and a drug addict. Always been, always will be... he messed up my life completely.. he told me empty promises, beat me, every imaginable way. Another reason i am like this is mainly because of my ex boy friend... he now lives in Florida but when we were younger he lived next door. We met when we where only 2! Our mothers where best friends. We did everything together. About 2 yrs ago when i was only 12... he hit me, constantly... that was his way of letting out his pain. Then one day, he got me pinned in a corner, and he went to hit me, and well i hit back out of rage. That's when he started cutting me. He wanted to commit suicide but he was such a coward that he tried to kill me! He slit my wrists, the back of my knees, and slightly scratched, but enough to make me bleed... he would slit my neck, or try my throat. He used to burn me with his ciggs... he used to cut my hair down to my scalp! I hated him... One day i went up to this hill we have by my house that all the kids hang out at.. i went up there with a blanket and my lunch... a little while after he went balistic on me... anyways he followed me... he came up to me with a gun... he said to me if i didn't strip, and fuck him that he would shoot me... in that place he had the gun to my head. I didn't want to die then, so i absoulutly had to do it... yes...... i was raped... and i will live with that pain for the rest of my life. Anyways i am older now, and more mature.. i have learned how to handle my disabllities. I was diagnosed with Asthma and Emphysema... along with Cancer.... i am a strong girl, with a long life to live... but i don't want to live with the hurt and sorrow both of these men have inflicted on my poor soul... i never told anyone this story except fpr my best friend, and my boyfriend... my NEW boyfriend... one that is wonderful. I don't know why i hurt myself, but my doctors say that i am not a "suicidal attempter" i am just a "cutter" meaning i cut myself just to make the pain go away, not to kill myself,... in other words no... i dont wish to die... i wish for the pain to go away... that's all. I dont see the reason in killing yourself... especially if you are under 13! That is sick.. but.. it all depends on how you feel... and i know i dont understand anyways problems here cause i dont know how they feel inside. i am learning to become my own shrink... lol.. pathetic yea i know.. but it is working...|
|15 Feb 2004||tricia||i hear that suicidees go to hell or if they reincarnate, they will suffer 10 times worse than in their previous lifes. cos taking your own life is sin. i don't know. i do want to die so bad. it hurts too much to live but i do not know if it will hurt more if i died and went to hell instead of somewhere peaceful. that is why i am still here struggling, coping. i am 23 already. half of my life span is already gone. i find life extremely meaningless for me. i have tried to end my life several times in the past but it didn't work. it certainly isn't that easy to die as you had seen on tv shows or read from people had wrote about them slitting their wrist or downing many pills at one go. i talked to my mother the other day, i told her about my thoughts and that one day if and when she finds me dead on my bed, she should try, understand and forgive me. i think the best way to kill myself is cutting and slitting my wrist. it is actually quite difficult to cut. before you can even bleed your skin, you would be hurting and burning like hell already. i had tried a few times and i finally found a way to cut it deeper, make it bleed in a faster easier way. hmm... that's all i have to say. i pray that all of us who are feeling very troubled in here will be able to find some peace without trying to harm or kill themselves. i can't find my peace which i have been looking for a very long time. i really do not know how long i can stand this. but i'll try to cope as long as i can, whether it's an hour, a day, a week, a month or a year. good luck to everybody. i hope each of you find your own happiness one day.|
|11 Feb 2004||WVDistressedWoman||Well, I'm not under 13 but, anyways, I'm 19, goin on 20 and I've been suicidal ever since I was 6 yrs old. When I was 6, I tried jumping off of a train, the guy stopped me and it was all because I didn't want to live and today it feels like I still don't. Well, the problems are my mother was sick all the time and my dad was a drug addict and my dad liked beating on my brother because he wasn't his biological son and his dad died in a car wreck when he was 4 ys old. People come to think that my mother and I was something that we're not. I didn't know what to do, I mean, I would sit in the upstairs reading collegeiate books and I was the one who would take care of the cleaning of the place. My brother would just go to the neighbors to eat. My dad, when I was 4 yrs old, he starved me, mom wasn't able to get up. Later on, in the years, I began using drugs and everything, had to learn to cook around 9 yrs old, I began drinking, popping cold medicine pills, smoking marijauna, and then I even would burn myself sometimes and do things unintentionally, it was called MS, the worst depression there is and there's nothing anyone can really do about it. I've been through humpteen doctors and psychiatrists. People think I'm something that I'm not, I mean, I'm the nicest I can be to ppl but, they're all wrong and wanna judge and try to control me, like that one bastard a few yrs ago who tried breaking up my mom and dad for yrs and yrs, he went to hell, well, I hate to talk about this but I was jumped onto by too many ppl and he was one of them for being so jealous of all the friends I had and because he couldn't get my ass and now this pervert prick next door is doing the same thing, they're only doing it to themselves because they're the ones who are really fucked. Now, I think I'm straightening up my life, when I said right now, before I mean that's just how I feel on the opinion. I just feel that people should back off and whatever they're thinking and if it's that bad, they should keep it to themself and not say a bunch of idiocrisy rumors. It's just not right, I mean, I'm going to college, have a boyfriend, friends, and I work part-time, have hobbies, and always keep my hands busy by playing music, video games, or on construction and remodeling, just doing something. I mean, ppl don't actually know what that stuff does to ya, it will really mess ya up but, it's only up to you and it's not up to other ppl to get better, only you can do that, and don't pay attention to them idiots, that drives them even more mad or then they finally get the clue and as for some who don't, they only will when they're dead, I suppose.|
|06 Feb 2004||one very lost teenager||I have no idea wat the best way to kill urself is. I'm only 14 years old and i already hate myself and the rest of the world. My family doesn't give a damn about me or what i think, and my friends have no clue whatsoever how unhappy i am. I spend every day, all day, thinking about doing drugs or committing suicide. Every day when i get home from school i walk in the kitchen, pull out a knife, and stare at it for like a half hour trying to decide whether to kill myself or not. I'm such a fricking coward that i don't even have enough guts to stab myself. I'll probably just end up becoming a drug addict or something. I really don't care anymore. My life just seems so useless.|
|23 Jan 2004||alannah||i was reading everybody else's stories and thought to add my own. i am over thirteen, so soz. i am nearing 15, next week. i never imagined i'd make it this far. i have battled anxiety and depression for more than five years and the worst thing is my family wouldn't have a clue how bad it really is. i indulge in food to try and eat the pain away but it just makes me fat and more miserable. i wish i could stop the pain and i know i can. i have thought about it enough. but death is easy and living is the real hell. i am gutless and that's why i am still here and i have no clue why i'm writing this ... i wish i were brave enuf to die but instead i keep living through pain. why, i don't know and i don't if i ever will.|
|23 Jan 2004||Father in pain||I'm a little shocked and scared to read some of what you are all saying. I found this site while looking for answers to my son's death. My 14 year old son took his own life, and it's a hurt that I simply can't understand, comprehend, and most of the time feel I can't live with. At 13, 14, 15, 16, whatever.... life is to be lived. If you are feeling like doing these things, run away, hide, go to a new city, live on the street, go to friend's houses, the hell with your folks if that's what it takes. Change your name, change your address, change whatever needs to be changed if it allows you to live, because all things this painful are truly temporary. The only thing that isn't temporary is death. It's permanent. It leaves a hole in the universe that nothing will ever fill for those around you. Suicide is permanent. It's not a dream, it's not a game, it's not a viable choice. Parents screw up. But because they're screwed up doesn't mean you have to be. I'm a parent, or was. I've screwed up. I'd give up my life to hold my son again, to hear his voice, to feel his touch for only a moment. Please, please.... do whatever it takes to make it through whatever shit is in front of you. Hurting people is fine, if it's temporary. You or they can always make amends later in life. But if you die, no one ever gets to say "I'm sorry." God, how this hurts to read, write, or think about.|
|22 Jan 2004||Elaine||Billy, you were right. It's a monster.
I thought i was fine. Something about today broke me. I went to the back stall in the back bathroom after 1st period this morning and started crying. Only, this time i couldn't stop. The bell rang. People left. I cleaned myself up. I asked the nurse if i could go home. My stomach hurt. Saying nothing, she wrote me an off campus pass. I didn't need to worry about the attendance clerk, she murmered.
I'm home now, and for the past 9 hours I've cried myself into a weak ball of lazy submission.
There's nothing wrong with me. I'm not depressed. Dying is not my thing. But there's something about Today that broke me.
I'm only 16 and life is in every way grand. The moon is full and in the dark its light through my window embraces me like a warm streetlamp on winter's eve. Needs must be i am in every way marvelous magnificent and beatific. Tomorrow always grinning glorious. There was just something about today that broke me.
My eyes are swollen and my heart grows tired of struggling this way against gravity. Today is my last because tomorrow will be better.
|06 Jan 2004||leanne||hi i'm 16 so i'm not under 13 but i have been suicidal for that long. i've read what everyone else has written and it made me realise just how many people feel the same as me. some days i'm really high and everything is great, other times i'm depressed and just wanna hurt myself. sometimes i just wanna slit my wrists for the fun of it and watch the blood pour down my arm. i laugh at the thought of it but deep down inside i really wanna do it. i have a great life - well so it seems to others but my pain is deep down and it won't go away|