Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
08 Apr 2005 Nathalie Bonjour,
Je suis Nathalie, voici mon histoire: Quand j'avais 5 ans, ma mère m'a laissé sur le trotoire au centre-ville. Une adolescente qui avait 17 ans, m'a pris comme enfant à ses côtés. On habitait dans la rue, cela n'a pas été facile tout les jours... Un jour son chum ( il aussi était dans la rue je le considérait comme mon père) s'est fait battre à mort par des gangs de rues. J'avais 12 ans, cela faisais près de 5 ans que lui et ma mère (adoptive) se fréquentait. Ils était pour se marier, quand ils auraient de l'argent.
Mais un soir d'hiver deux jours après la mort de mon ''père''. Ma mère m'a pris la main et m'a dis d'être forte... Qu'elle était pour partir longtemp. Elle est parti partiquement nue, m'avais donné tout ce qu'elle possédait sauf une corde. Le matin de très bonheure, Je l'ai retrouvé morte, pendue et gelée... Je l'est décrocher, je l'est déposé sur le sol... Je me suis couché sur elle malgré qu'elle était froide... J'ai pris la paire de ciseaux que j'avais et je me suis coupé... J'ai telment perdu de sang que lorsque ce camelot m'a trouvé j'était inconsciente. Il a prit soin de moi.
Aujourd'hui j'ai 27 ans, Je suis mariée au camelot, J'ai deux belles filles Tania et Maryse. J'attend présentement un garçons... J'ai encorre la chaîne en argent que ma mère adoptive portait lorsqu'elle est morte... J'aurais aimé partagé ce boneure avec elle, j'aurais aimé qu'elle soit grand-mère... Je pleure à sa tombe à tous les ans... Si tu as perdu ta mère ou si elle ne t'aime pas... Moi je t'adopterai...Moi je serai l'épaule sur laquelle tu pouras pleurer... Je serai là pour te serrer dans mes bras...
Nathalie
06 Apr 2005 Leanora hi, look i want this to be posted. i dont want to be really cliched and annoying but suicide is never the way. it sounds like most of the people here are having an awful time in life, and i know exactly what it feels like. long story short, was hit by my mum since i was 6 for 6 years and watched her try to kill my dad. thats still with me and im really depressed, but no-one really knows that. i'm moving out in 4 months when im old enough (Im 16). so for me, thats my light at the end of the tunnel. u are all so young and do you not realise how much time you have to change ur life? you can move out soon, u can go far away and live a new life and get help and try to help yourself. don't give up, please. You can be anything you wanna be, I actually only one tried to commit suicide but it didn't work and afterward i was too scared. we all have issues here but when u beat them it will be the happiest day of ur life!! xx
05 Apr 2005 Im still here To all you people out there thinking about suicide PLEASE dont go through with it. It isnt worth it no matter how much you go through. I was cutting for a while (about 7 months 4 days a week) Until one of my friends found out and told the counsolor at school. He kept on telling my friend that he was going to tell my mom but he never did. Then my friend told me either you tell your mom or I will. I know my mom would rather find out from me. I told her and she freaked she didnt know what to do all she could do was hold me and cry. That right there is the worst feeling in the world to my mom and me. I didnt know what to say. Then March rolled around and it was going to be 2 years that my dad died so i took vicadin that day so i wouldnt have to actually deal with what was going on. My friend got blamed for giving me it but it wasnt her. My friend just resently thought that well since you cut I think Ill give it a try. I found out not from her but from another friend and once again I didnt know what to do all I could do was hold her and cry. I couldnt tell her what she did was wrong because I made that same exact mistake. I wish so much that I could take what i did back and I wish I could just talk to her and tell her to not make those same mistakes but she is bull headed and she wont listen to me. I tell her every day that I love her and I would never want to lose her. But I guess she doesnt understand. So I hope all of you out there that read this dont make the mistakes I made it isnt worth it!! There is no way to kill yourself when your under 13 tough it out it will get better I promise!!
01 Apr 2005 Naomi I have planned suicide plenty of times, but I never really thought how it would affect everyone around me, until my best friend became very suicidal after her youngest sibling died after a brain tumour. I had to always try and stop her, she has attempted it several times, everytime her older brother managed to stop her. But we had a fight only last night. We made a pact, you go I go. I thought that it would stop her, but we both became angry with each other, saying things we didn't mean, but I think I killed her.
The only way to kill yourself is to stop your ventilator when you're an old, old person, ready to die. My great-grandma died when I was 6, my Nan moved away when I was 12, but I'm 14 now, and my best friend wants ot kill herself. I miust be jinxed. Fate has turned its back on me, leaving me to find my own path. At many times, I have decided that my path has finished. Many times I have taken pills to school, ready to kill myself slowly infront of my friends, many times I have cut my wrists deep enough to swim in, many times, I have looked at websites to find a reason why I should stay. Many times I have found a reason; that Lauren is still here, and I never want to leave her. But I think she has left me.
So if you're reading this Lauren, I'm sorry.
01 Apr 2005 in memory of i have actually had 3 friends commit suicide in my lifetime of 23 years. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and it hurts everybody. before you even consider suicide, please be aware of how people that love you would feel... would you want to see your grandmother cry, or your father, or your mother, or your little cousin who is only 7? would you want your cat or your dog to miss you and lie in your room waiting for you to come home? this is not something to joke about. if you need help, you should call the suicide hotline. please. if you decide to commit sucide, its too late... and you'll never to get to see a smile on your own children's face someday...
21 Mar 2005 Shattered feelings at the simple age of five, i jumped off my roof to try and kill myself, though i was unsucessful, i am now 14, and still attempting suicide, since i am to proud to ask for help, from any one, even my dad, who cares so much about me, knows of only one cutting, though i have cut myself once a week, and every week since i was ten, the scars run so deep, they will never go away, i am turning 15 shortly, my mum is pretending like she actually cares, i have always been close with my dad,and never close with my mother, dad=best friend/ mum= worst nightmare... i have tried numerous times, to try and have a familial relationship with my mum, but she doesnt allow me to, she favors my other siblings, and doesnt seem to care about me, i wouldnt call it neclect,but i wouldnt call it loving either, me and her fight every day, over the stupidest things, i dont think she would even miss me if i did in fact succed with my suicidal attempts, i do yes suffer from manic- depression, and she knows it, but still wont care, my dad will morn for me, but he has a life, and wont be able to cry for long, my friends can also make new freinds, my dear sweet love, Merrill, the only guy i have ever been happy with, who respects and loves me so much, will find another, though i am sure he will morn, for a few days, as will my friends, but they will all move on, my siblings, wont notice i am no longer there, since i mainly stay in my room, plaining my next suicidal attempt, one of my best friends Alicia, killed herself when she was 13, she cut herself, drank some clorox, and pushed herself infront of a car, all in one hour, of one day, making me go further into depression, still i cannot seem to stop trying to kill myself, and will never, ever seek help, but only look for a way to help myself, but if it be gods will, i succed in removing myself from this world, first, then let it be......
19 Mar 2005 ....merinda... Not a day has passed when I havent' thought of killing myself, in the past three years, at least. It's a thought that has never left my mind, and I can't talk to anyone about it because they are all judgemental and patronise me if I were to say anything of the sort. A guy i knew killed himself a week back... and his funeral's tomorrow. I'm not sure how that's going to go but i really wish his death was not part of reality. However, this made me realise, these things DO actually happen.
17 Mar 2005 A Mom My 11 yo daughter tried to hang herself last night. Luckily she did not do it. I'm shocked and saddened quite frankly. I have read some of your stories and our life isn't like that. She is loved and cared for. Never abused in anyway. I don't understand why she'd want to do something like that. She was just diagnosed with diabetes and it has been hard on both of us. But is that a reason to die?! It isn't! For all of you who are abused and unloved, I pray you find peace and self love. For those of you like my daughter who are loved so much but somehow doesn't know it, I pray that you tell your families how you feel so that they can help or get you the help you need. I've heard my daughters cry for help and will get her all the things she needs. Especially hope for the future. Thank you for listening.
13 Mar 2005 Em I've been suicidal since i was about 12 probably. I am now 16 and have attempted suicide multiple times with various methods. i tried slitting my wrists, shooting myself (didn't have the guts to pull the trigger), suffocating myself, ODing off any kind of pills, drinking lots of alcohol, etc. The reason i want to end my life is because it just sucks. its not working out the way it should. I to often covet what others have and it just hurts to bad so i think the only thing i can do is just end it all. i don't have my license because i know i won't get a car. all my friends have cars and i have to depend on them to take me to school and whatnot. its little things like that, they build up and make me suicidal. yesterday, 3 of my friends said they can't take me to school. 2 of them said it meaning they can't ever do it again. one of their reasons was because they though i needed to get my life straight. for all they know my life is straight, this depression, this life that i live, i put a mask on in public, nobody knows what i know. when i told my friend about it last night, she didn't believe me. she refused to believe the thoughts i was having and what was happening to me. its called clinical depression. it just doesn't go away. my life is falling apart before my eyes and by the time i realized it, the depression had taken control of most of my functions and i can't do anything about it. its like i'm just there. my mom doesn't love me all she does is cuss me out and remind me about how stupid i am. she'll call me a whore out of the clear blue. my dad is in jail, and my brother says how stuipd i am all the time and puts me down. people always tell me how skinny and hot i am, but yet when i look in the mirror, i don't see that. i recognized that i hadn't eatin for a few days. i never drink anything, i suffer from dehydration. i've got all the symptoms for that..but yet, i do nothing to try and treat it. i'm never thirsty. when i actually do cry for help, nobody listens or cares. they think i'm joking around maybe, or just don't believe me. i don't go out with my friends anymore, i don't call anybody, i just sit in my room alone. thats how i like it. but then i could cry because i am alone. my depression remains untreated because nobody see's it. i have every single symptom of depression. i went through a a list of dozens of symptoms and u name it, i had it. actually..i HAVE it. this is all happening to me now and in the last couple weeks of my life. its a saturday night, i'm 16, i'm not supposed to be at home, but i am. my best friend got a boyfriend and thats all she cares about now i haven't hung out with her since him. i could cry about it all. but i won't let myself. 2 of my friends hate me right now because of something. i honestly don't know. i could continue on all night but i don't want to waste any more of your time. i don't have as much problems or severe problems like some people i've read about on this site, but good luck to all. i'm tired of crying, and trying, yea i'm smiling, but inside i'm dieing.
12 Mar 2005 .... Considering we found out yesterday a guy in my grade killed himself, its a pretty fuckinghard time for me and all my friends at the moment. You think its neva gonna happen to someone you know, someone you care about, but its ure as hell does. It still doesnt seem real, but it is. Its not something any of us will forget about, especially at graduation. I guess its also pretty ironic i'm back here after all thias time on mouchette, because i used to have strong suicidal tendancies, and just have to question why the fuck do things like this happen in the world. The thought that there is something so bad and something so fucked up to drive as person to kill themselves.
11 Mar 2005 CC IMPORTANT: Heres my story. Please read it. My life has been bad since day one. When I was 3 months old my father shot my mother and then himself. I was forced to live with my aunt and uncle who were very abusive. They would scratch my arm with a piece of glass until it got to the bone. Their children, my cousins, would tie me to the tree in the back yard and throw rocks at me for hours at a time. When I reached grade 7 I ran away because I couldn't take it any longer. That was a mistake. As I was walking away, a man offered me a ride. It was a winter day so I would do anything to get into a nice heated car. Well as you can guess he raped me and stole my backpack then threw me out on the street. I lived on the streets for a few days, and almost starved to death. Then one day as I walked to the bridge to get my life over with, I saw my uncle and he saw me. He forced me into his car and took me back to his house. He locked me in the basement and abused me and made me do humiliating things. One day when my grandma came over I thought I had a chance. She was always a nice and caring woman so I thought she would help me. And she did. After a long argument I was brought back to her house. She was nice until she died. Then once again I was with my uncle. This time he went too far and dropped me off of his staircase which was about 4 meters off the ground. I broke both my legs which made me helpless to him. He beat me constantly and I could not do anything about it. When my legs healed I ran away once more. This time I seeked help from a womens shelter, I was 18 at the time. They took me in and treated me good. I was there until I was 20 and then I left. I got a job at a greenhouse and was paid good money. I got engaged to a restaurant owner. It was literally too good to be true. The boss at the greenhouse harassed me and forced sex with me and took pictures of it and posted it on the internet. My husband heard of the site with a friend and left me. I was unemployed and alone. I made my way through my life living with friends and going in and out of apartments. I am now 34 telling you to comit suicide if you are truly that depressed. Things wont get better. Nothing will ever get better. Wondering why I havent killed myself yet? Because I cen't stand to think of the pain I would cause other people. I am just living my life day by day hoping to get murdered, or some form of death that doesnt involve self-pity or indulgence. I tried to cut myself but that does not do anything. It doesnt make my pain go away and it doesnt make my life better. It causes disease and infections. I want to die please take me god...please.
05 Mar 2005 Christine Dobreva Last week, I slitted my wrists, it was all bleeding so bad...It didn't hurt at first, though. I wanted to commit suicide, but I...just couldn't make. Coz of my boyfriend, I suppose. But the great reason is that I can't really stand my mom. She never wanted me, and I can't move out since I'm 17 only. But that will happen soon. She is the one who shouts at me all the time, calling me names, hitting me, bumping my head in the wall, throwing knives over me, trying to not let me go home in the evenening when I get back from school. I've been suicidical for 10 years or more now. Have tried pills, blades, knives, fire...practically almost everything you can imagine. And I just make it to the hospital and them bastards save me. Why...I do believe in God and I love him. I know I'll go to hell and won't do any good by killing myself, but there are times when I just can't take it anymore. I'm in a constant depression and I never want to go back home. When I'm in the lift in out block of flats, I just make the cross sign, and pray to God I'll be able to face the next fight with my mom. She never listens to me, she never understands me, and I can't take it. I love school coz I feel safe there. I don't feel safe at home. And I never will. It's fucked up, and I'm ruined inside. I'm considered beautiful, thoughtful and funny, but I'd give it all away, just to know my "mother" won't let me down again. I'd sell my soul to anyone, just to know I won't go back home...
04 Mar 2005 Jenny I always wanted to kill myself! When i was in 5 grade i didn't eat and so i got very sick and very skinny! My parents said they were going to take me to the hospital but they didn't! Ever day my parents would get upsett cause they love me! My friends didn't talk to me cause i was doing that to myself! Some of my friends started to cry and one of them started it to cause she looked up to me! So i stoped and i started eatting again! My friend started eatting too!Everone was happy and my parents are not upsett any more! I know what your going through! BUT DON'T KILL YOUR SELF ITS NOT WORTH IT! Now i am 13 and some times i still want to hert myself but i wount cause i don't want to hert the people i love again!
04 Mar 2005   Part of me won’t go away
Everyday reminded how much I hate it
Weighted against the consequences
Can’t live without it so it’s senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul
And just live with a gaping hole
Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low ‘cause it’s part of me
Ya hardly see right next to the heart of me
Heard of me the routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And now I’m sick of this
I can’t stand the sandpaper thoughts that grade away on my sanity
I rather not even be then the man that’s staring in the mirror through me

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside
Swallowing me

It can’t be frightening if you’ve never felt it
Once it’s been dealt with you feel like you’ve been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem’s all gone
And then you start to see another piece of yourself that you can’t let be
And that reason’ll last fight to free yourself
Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well
And now you know you can choose to lose the part in your heart
Where your insides bruise
You can live if you’re willing to
Put a stop to just what’s killing you

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what’s killing me

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside
Swallowing me

(Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently
This part of me won’t go away, part of me won’t go away
Everywhere I look around I see how everyone ought to be
Every time I see myself there’s always something wrong with me
Everywhere I look around I see how everyone ought to be
Every time I see myself there’s always something wrong with me)

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside
Swallowing me

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside
Swallowing me

I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me
01 Mar 2005 Era Well hey everyone my name is Era, and i'm writing from the Van Nuys Area in CA. I'm 15 years old and i've been suicidal since i was about 12 or 11. It started with me basically hating myself and everything about me. My mother has a very lousy personality and she usually took out her stress on me and my little brother. As it turned out all the emotional shit she said really affected me and i was constantly trying to make myself better. i began binging, never eating and working out constantly. As a result in 7th grade i began making more friends and i was a cheerleader, for a while all the pain went away because i was kept busy and i truly felt wanted, but when my mother and i started fighting again everything came rushing back like waves of hatred and anger. in 8th grade the cutting began, as well as the drugs and i was taking two lines of cocaine everyday just so i could lose more weight. i ruined almost everyone around me's life because i was known for doing stupid things. they of course thought i was fine, but even as we laugh the heart aches and all my problems were dragging me down. after cutting lost its appeal i began burning my skin and popping pills just to see how many i could take until i went unconcious, when nothing happened i became more drastic and slit my throat. i was unsuccessful and just ended up in the hospital. my mother once again blamed it all on me and my friends didnt know i had a 'problem' i guess you could say that all i really wanted was for someone to notice what i was doing, but no one every did. till this day i think about commiting suicide, but i'm a little older and living with my dad and those emotions dont surface as much. I'm kept busy and go to this continuation school that have kids with problems also and it helps to be around people like me. i see a therapist reguarlarly and i've begun to read the bible, but sometimes i cant really control myself and all i want to do is die. looking in the mirror is like seeing someone i dont want to be anymore and when i wake up its like a slap in my face, knowing that i'm still in this shitty world. i know theres people out there like me and i'd like to commuicate with you all if you want. just email me at empress_whiskey@yahoo.com take care you all.
01 Mar 2005 Rita I don't think I know the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13. I've been reading the stuff people post on here for quite some time now, I still don't think I've read them all, but I feel like I can connect with more people here than I've ever been able to anywhere else. I really did not have a horrible life like some of the people here, but I feel the pain that many of you feel day in and day out. I always felt like the way my mom treated me was so shitty. I noticed that a lot of the things I did never seemed to be right. I was always doing something wrong. I was screw up. I felt like I was the daughter she never wanted. Everytime they would fight it would almost always seem to be because of me. Many may say, "no it's not your fault, don't think that." But once, when they were fighting and my dad had already left for work, she called me into their room and told me that i was the reason they fight. It's all because of me. My mom has even told me how many times she's wanted to leave us. She has yet to do it, but I wouldn't put it past her just one day walk out when she got really pissed off.

When I was in middle school was when depression really started to kick in for me. It didn't help that I didn't fit the stereotype of the pretty girl. I was too smart, too tall, too nerdy to be anything that was considered cool. In seventh grade, in three consecutive days I tried three times to commit suicide. Obviously none of them worked. I was too naive to really do it right I guess. I tried ODing on two of those occasions, leaving a note by me when I went to sleep for when I didn't wake up...I did. The third time, I made a suicide concoction of sorts to drink. I can't remember all that I put into it, but I do remember putting some household cleaner in it. I was too scared to really drink a lot of it...I took a sip..then I broke down into tears. I didn't really have any other suicide episodes until 8th grade when my mom called me a whore and a prostitute because she had found out I had kissed my first boyfriend ever. For that whole weekend I was in tears and so upset.

Freshman year of high school I think was really the worst. My mom flipped out because I had started seeing a guy that was older than me (he was only one grade ahead of me). I continued to see him behind her back and she found out. It was the worse day of my life. The next morning I had decided that that was the day I was gonna end it all. I could not continue to live a life where I'm a screw up for my mother. Always a screw up. I decided I was going to hang myself. My parents were going to my cousin's wedding and there was no way I was going to make an appearance with tears streaming down my face and looking like I hadn't slept in days. I could not put up a front like as if everything was ok, so I stayed home with my plans. I made a stupid mistake though. I told someone what I was doing. He was worried about me and I was in tears so I talked to him on the phone as he tried to console me and make me change my mind. But he had called the cops. They showed up at my door, called me on the phone to asking me to let them in. I was so freaked out and i felt so betrayed by my friend. I let them in and they talked to me and asked me to go with them. They put me in the ambulance and drove me to the Emergency Psych ward. I was there for almost the whole day. I had to talk to a therapist, they kept me in a room with someone at all times. But I think that the scariest part was when my parents got there. Seeing them walk past the room I was in made me want to stay there instead of going home. Needless to say I did. I thought things would get better and they did, here and there. But sometimes things were still shitty. My mom blatantly tells me that if I had committed suicide it wouldn't have solved anything, that I just would have gone to hell. Thanks mom.

Throughout the rest of high school, I managed to deal with everything I guess. Depression would surface every once in awhile. So much so the end of my sophomore year, that I say a therapist again and got prescribed prozac. They put me in a group therapy with a bunch of other teenagers too. That was so stupid. If anything, it just put a bunch of teens with problems in one room, it didn't solve anything, just made us see that there were other people with similar or worse shit to go through. If anything we just bonded over our problems, not learned how to solve them. I stopped taking the meds after a while cuz they weren't doing anything, and I just wanted to take em all at once to see if I'd OD.

I thought I was getting better recently, but I really doubt that. The depressions been coming back, and I've been as emotional as I was back then. I feel empty inside...dead even. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to see a therapist. For me, it's just a waste of money. I've been thikning about committing suicide again. Considering that I'm older now, I feel like I have so many more options for me now. I can do what I want to do...I just don't know if I will yet.
20 Feb 2005 Scott I have overdosed severasl times now and one is very disappointed that I am still. Child sexual assault and poor parenting has lead me to the path of suicide and the urgent want to end my life.

I now have two shrinks, one community mental health worker and a clinical psychologist but between them and all my pills I still want to knock myself off.

Next and sure plan... I am going to overdose on my Temaze Sleeping pills going to the garage and stand on a step ladder and tie the rope around the frame of the roof and around my neck.

When I fall into the coma because of the sleepers I will fall out the ladder.... All over red rover.
13 Feb 2005 Paul Sleeping pills, quick and easy...painless too i guess. ill clean my room and make it tidy ( once and for all) for the first time...and den pop sum pills and lie underneath da bed...so my room stills looks perfect. since my mum wants it to be so perfect, ill leave it so fucken perfect for da rest of her life.
13 Feb 2005 Heidi To those teens wanting suicide i want to share something. When I was a kid I had no friends. I was abused verbally and sexually by both parents and some teachers. I remember almost dieing in an accident and my family made it into a family joke. I was so depressed I would not leave my home. I was extremely suicidal. Teens. Trust me. it will get better. Life as an adult is different than the life you now know. I am glad I hung in there for it will get better. Do not kill yourself. I am now 35. before you kill yourself think about the people that do love you. Your friends. The life experiences of your future that you will not experience if you died. There is life outside of high school. There is life outside your family. A whole new world awaits you after you graduate and find a job and move out of your parents home. Please do not give up on your life.
12 Feb 2005 caity i dont know i have od"D 3 times my wrists are slit 18 times right now i have the words kill me carved in my left shoulder, i tried to hang myself. i swear to god i will never die i wish i would die to finally get it over with. it's like there is some sort of force that prevents me from dying. i hate it! i wanna die i want all of this pain to go away i wanna be set free from myself.

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