|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|09 Nov 2005||refound Soul||when i was 10 i was 10, i got very depressed and didn't know why, for long time i didn't know i was deprssed. I used to ask my parents morbid questions all of the time, what would they do if i die, and i'd tell them that it was ok for me to die, that sometimes dieing is some times a good thing, which i realise, now, must have scaird the shit out of them. I wanted to die so badley, but how could i do that to them? I tri and tell them stuff, when they where happy so that they wouldn't get so sad. They got me help and counciling and meds, which i didn't want, coz when your depresed your in the wrong mind set. But here is my advice to you, get help, take it even if you dont want it, i am 19 now, doing things i never thought possible and having the time of my life. I am so greatful for my family and friends helping me through. I still get down occationly, but i just have to remember to hang in there and things will be ok in the end. Good luck to all of you people. Good times WILL come, even if you cant see from where.|
|08 Nov 2005||wes||this is not help, but more or less advice:i wanted to kill myself because i am in love with my ex. she said she loved me still also, but i messed it up.
i felt worthless untill i relized that maybe life will get better, and she'll come back to me. so i live my life one day at a time in hope. i am happy enough now that i know there is so much to live for. put your problems aside and just think of the good in it.
|03 Nov 2005||kni||im an international student.i have barely any freinds in my school. no one bothers to try to become freinds with me. i used to be an excellent student in my country. here cos of my depression and rejection im horrible. i have a bf here. we fight day in and day out. the only time wer not fighting is wen wer having sex. i enjoy it at the moment and then i start loathing it. my bf cares about me a lot...but has his ex gfs emails and pictures everywer..he makes fun of me cos im on the heavier side and i have cellulite..and wen i talk to him abt it he fights with me..my family expects a lot from me..cos theyre extremely educated and are all doing somethin great for themselves..and im nothin they thought i would be. they call me the black sheep of the family..they love me..but they make me feel like im nothing..i used to be the most popular girl in my school bak home..but here im nothin. i have 5 conversations a day..al of them are fights with my bf. i feel lonely and lost. i feel like nothings worth it. i know i wont commit suicide..but im soo sad..ive never felt lower in my life..i did everythin i could do make things work with my bf but we keep fighting and i keep gettin blamed..now it seems wer going to break up..and the worst part is..i have noone to turn to if we do break up..il lose the only person i have here..|
|02 Nov 2005||Alexandra||Ooook. To start off..I'm 13 years old and my life is totally fucked. I've attempted suicide countless times. When I was only a few months old, my parents had my grandmother take care of me for the next five years of my life because my mum went back to university and my dad was a photographer and was very busy, though he would take care of me at every chance he could. As I grew older, I grew more and more distant from my mum, cuz she was never there, and it doesnt help that my grandmother (on my dads side) who took care of me, hated my mum. Just recently I watched some old tapes of me when I was 2 or 3 around christmas time. All of my closes family was there, grandparents, aunts and uncles from my mums side and both grandparents from my dads side. My grandfather (on my dads side) died shortly after that tape was taken, and I was devistated. That is when my life just fell apart. But anyways, on that tape, I noticed that I would constantly reject my mum and everytime she would try to tell me that I'm beautiful, or try to play with my hair, or hug me I would tell her to stop it. This was at the age of 3 or 4! I think that because of that she is sortof bitter now and she favors my four year old brother, and she is never compassionate towards me. Around the age of 11 I first cut myself, I was scared, and extremely angry at my mum for threatening to kill me (we were having an argument). My mum and I argue non-stop and she can get violent. Other than that, school is okay, I'm struggling in mathematics and thats it. I have tons of friends and I am a very loved and loving person. I love my dad with all my heart and we have never once had a disagreement. He would take time off from work just to spend time with me. When I had to get surgery on my neck (from tripping on a kite and landing on a screw that was sticking out of the ground) he brought me ice cream. Even though I couldnt eat it, the fact that he did that was probably the most memorable part of my life. Even thinking of it now makes me cry. The only thing now that stops me from cutting myself is the fact that i am afraid that people will notice. Last year my best friend and I were joking around and she grabbed my wrist from under a long sleeved shirt and i had cuts there, so obviously, it hurt like hell and my wrist started bleeding through the shirt, she saw and without thinking, she pulled my sleeve up and everyone around me saw my cuts and now think im insane. My parents arent aware of this, but i think that at first, cutting wasnt just to make me feel better, but i also thought that maybe my mum would notice my wounds as another form of telling her that i need help.|
|01 Nov 2005||Caitlin||3 years ago, when i was a freshman, i became depressed... not clinically (or so they thought)... but i know i am. i tried to kill myself quite a few times... it wasnt severe or anything.. but i told my boyfriend... and he told my guidance counselor.. which landed me at the hospital and at therapy for 3 months, every day for 3 hours after school. i hated everything... my family... my dad made my life hell cuz he hated my boyfriend.. and favored my brother and sister... and my mom just went with him... school was just so overwhelming cuz i wasnt doing well and people we getting up on my back about it... and to be honest i just didnt care... my friends were not my friends anymore... everything just fell into one... i took pills and cut my wrists.... then after therapy i was *cured*... but everytime i was pissed/uspet/sad... i would always think of killing myself... i wouldnt always do it.. but i thought of it... then one time last year... i was so pissed off that i finally grabbed 22 advil and 12 cold med and 1/2 a bottle of smirnoff black ice... and went to sleep... bout 2 hours later i woke up... sweating i couldnt hear... and then out of no where my friend steve calls.. and i couldnt hear him.. and i told him what had happened... and he called my parents.. who were going to take me to the hospital but i threw up at my house... and they knew i wouldnt come home if they brought me there... so i stayed awake for the next few hours.... and now i cant take pills... cuz im afraid of dying for now reason... but now i wish i could.... ive thought about it so much in the past hour... i should just go for it... everyone hates me cuz i said something they took the wrong way.. and i cant deal with shit like this anymore... i just dont know....
i know you probably all are like o her problems arent bad or anything... and im not saying they are... i just cant handle things like that... im sorry....
|30 Oct 2005||sharpshot||I'm 13 and in 8th Grade. I feel like crap right now and kinda suicidal. I have felt this way and even worse countless times and while I have sometimes wanted to kill myself, I never could do it. Not even try. I guess I was just kinda scared of the pain. Sometimes I just try to fall asleep and forget about everything and sometimes I just feel so bad that I just want to lock myself in my room and never come out. I usually feel like crap cause of school. I'm nothing close to a nerd but im not too popular either. It's just that sometimes kids at school can act like bitches. I guess that school is almost the only thing that stresses me out sides my parents being divorced and my dad being a money hogging pig (in nice words). What really pisses me off is when there are like really big assignments and you have very little time for them. Well anyway, back to the point. Actually, I'm not sure what the point is but essentially I finnally figured out that there is so much to look forward to in life.|
|29 Oct 2005||Jason||Its strange, almost predictable kind of. I have felt this way when I was 11. They tell you that life gets better, funny speach. I find the opposite to be true. It is 13 years later and I still feel the same. In fact I feel worse, because now not just being depressed, I have to deal with all the grown-up stuff too and I just do not want to. There is no fair world. I have never asked for a lot in life. I never strove to be rich or famous. All I want is a wife and children. Why is this never what I get? I almost had it once, I was almost married. But the bitch walked out on me. That was 3 years ago and I'm still not over it. There is just really no end to this pain. No matter how far away I may go sometimes the pain is always there. I am so smart, yet I can never get anything to work. The one time I found an OK job, it was stolen from my by a jealous asshole named Dino. He hates any employee lower than him that is smarter than him. He gets them fired. I now have had to pay for his jealousy, move back home with my mother where I don't want to be, in a city too far way from my friends and too far way from a good supply of jobs. I hate it. All I was told was that things would get better. Its a lie. A lie I have lived for 13 years. From the day I first wanted to die to today is 18 years. I have had this feeling dragging on my soul for almost twenty years. I know that seems like a long time for some of you people here particurly if your around 13. I can see no bright light at the end of the tunnel. And if you do it is probably just a train going toward you. I can just see myself living the next 60 years like this. I want it to end there is no point. Everything that has a beginning has an end. Peraps I ust need to make my ending come faster.|
|29 Oct 2005||hope||Suicide is not the answer. Life is too precious to throw away. If you are on this site seeking a way out, realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You don't know what you have until you lose it, I found this out the hard way. I attempted suicide at 16 and failed. I'm now 21, a senior in a military college, and have been struggling with suicide since my freshman year. Recently, my life spiraled out of control and my command intervened. Although I did not like the intervention (which involved seeing doctors and being put on medications) I truly believe that their actions saved me from going off the deep end. However, because of this, I have lost everything I came here for--my FAA medical and pilot certifications, and my ability to be an officer in the military. Currently I don't know if I am even going to be able to graduate. That is why I offer this piece of advice and hope: Seek help before you do the inevitable. Whatever pain and tragedy you feel in your life--please realize it is not the end of the world. There is something better out there if you are willing to go after it....|
|28 Oct 2005||three strikes.||When the thought of killing yourself comes into my mind i think what the fuck would make someone want to cause harm to themselves.
is it because family life is going no where, and there friends are no where to be found? or they just dont have any? have you experienced a loved one pass on? what is it that makes one want to kill themself?
well in my opinion.
why the fuck would you kill yourself when you can have one last thing you can enjoy. just one last thing.
make something of YOURSELF.
do something you love or try something you will learn to love.
cause havoc, screw up a few times.
thats life for you.
in my life.
here are the facts.
my biological mom died when i was 7.
my aunt when i was 12.
my uncle when i was 10.
my kid neighbor whom i grew to adore and baby-sat.
drunk driving is what got him.
the list continues: and now.
my step mom who has always been mom to me is dying of cancer.
and my other uncle and poppy (grandpa) are in the hospital with diabetes.
those are not my excuses to kill myself.
those are my reasons to live.
you could miss so much by killing yourself.
you could eternally hurt those around you that you never thought gave a shit about you.
in life take chances. take risks.
dont make a risk or a chance to harm your life.
it makes no sense.
and until someone can prove to me that it does.
then realize this..
your seeing the light of day.
for you once were in the darkness and now your in the light.
make use of it.
|28 Oct 2005||The Wonderer|| Well, I dont have my problem as badly as u guys do, but i still have some to say.
When I was 9 I first told my parents that I wanted to kill myself. I am now 14, and these years have been a living shit hell. To start off, I am obese, have ADD and ADHD and asthma and Obssesive Compulsive Disorder. I kinda have no friend and HAVE A MAJOR CASE OF PARANOIA. Obssesive Compulsive Disorder and my huge case of Paranoia are killing me here. But especially my paranoia. I really cant have friends for a long period of time. Usually I can hold a friendship for just a couple of months. Sometimes, if i'm lucky, a year. But thats top. A year.
The thing is, because i cant hold a long term friendship, my paranoia makes me go crazy. Because I cant hold long friendships, I usually stay with my new friend for so long and stick to them and be around them so much, that it annoys them and they back off of me. I always have this paranoing thoughts that I have to be EXTREMELY nice and EXTREMELY friendly so that my new friends would like me. Also, after my hang out with the friend is over, my Obssesive Compolsive Disorder kicks in along with my paranoia. I get thoughts of, " did i do or say something that might get them to hate me or stay away from me?" these thought usually last non stop up untill the next time I see them, when i try to understand from them if they were offended or whatever from the day before.
Also, I have never kissed a girl, Never even had a girlfriend, never hugged a girl from love ( have hugged as an aquentence hug), never had been invited to a party, and was many times left out from like times when my friends hang out but never invite me.
I guess i am kind of sad, but i still have some hope. But very often, i lose that hope, and am then considered to be depressed. I take Zoloft, and many other medications that have hard names, but over the years i have taken possibly every medicine on the market, and they made me happy, really. But that happyness never lasted for a very long time. A while ago I got so upset, that instead of taking my prescribed 2 zoloft pills at night, I took 5. That really made me feel good, but it felt kinda wrong. But it was relly relaxing, really.
I am not always full of hope, but i am at least once or twice or even alday somedays. Usually when i am busy, my mind doesnt think about suicide or depresion. But since i have no friends, i am often not busy and do tend to think about suicide. I have never cut myself, because i dont know what it does. I do want to at least once in the near future smoke pot and thats something i intend to do.
At my sad or depressed moments, which happen usually twice or three times a day, I hate myself and want to die. At those moments, i am my own worst enemy. But thank god, im usually sad just a couple of times a day, and for just 10-30 minutes.
Im not trying to cheer u up by what im gonna say, but im just gonna share my goals for life: I would like to really feel my turning point in life, which everyone says happens right after your teenage years and then live my life in peace. I would also like to have a girlfriend, and I would also like to finally kiss a girl. Also to have sex. Also, to marry a girl, and have kids with her.
I just hate sitting around all the time being alone and upset, so this year i joinned a few clubs at my school, and am doing activities to find some friends and have some fun. I guess what im really trying to point out here is that i actually try to help myself. And deep down I know, that even though I sometimes have suicidal thoughts, I will never have it as far as actually killing myself. And even if I have a gun loaded to my head, I know i will never have the guts to take my own life. I just try to stay positive and try to do as much as i can do...
|27 Oct 2005||The one no1 wants to be||Well, here's my story. Back when I was 10 when me and my family were on a trip to the east coast, in our hotel room's bathroom, i told my mom i wanted to kill myself. And that idea came after 2 years of shit and fuck. I am now 14, and still thinks about the way i will kill myself someday, IF I WILL EVER.
So here is a little shitty facts about myself:
I am obese
I have no friends
90% of my class hates me
i have obssesive compulsive disorder
I have ADD and ADHD
I have never had a long term friendship with eny1
I have never had a girlfriend
I have never been kissed or hugged by a girl
i am pushed around and bullied in school
My own parents have steriotypes about me which are ba
My own parents do no listen to me EVER
I am the biggest loser in my town
I have tried getting drugs and am still trying
I am never happy for at least a day
I get upset and suicidal everyday.
I am afraid that if non of those things change in my life SOON, I might actually and for real kill myself.
About the drugs, I just think Well, if i'm gonna die, if i'm gonna kill myself I should take some drugs. At least die a happy death.
So basically, i have a fucked up life. I do not believe its worth it to take that pain and sufferage that seems to be getting worse over time. ANd just remember that this thought of suicide has been with me since I was 10. 10!
Again, basically, I hate myself and want to die.
But again, I dont know when or how or if I ever will Kill myself. But what I do know, Is that things really go worse as they seem to, and get seriously worse like they seem to, and if i have no resistence against it from any1, I might just do it.
JUST REMEMBER that im not psycho or anything. I was born with all of these disorders. I have tried so many different ways to help myself, but they all fail, and they're not worth trying.
Yes I am a depressed teen! Fuck this world. I am just not like other people.I dont know how to get along with people like most people do. im just different. Different in a bad way. Ohhhh very bad way. I am not meant for this world and cannot keep up with it. THER IS SO MUCH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND PEOPLE AROUND ME CAN DO TO HELP ME. BUT THEY ALL SEEM TO IGNORE ME. I HATE THIS SHIT. WHY AM I THE ONE WITH ALL THESE PROBLEMS? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO THAT I'M GETTING SHIT FROM ALL? FUCK THIS SHIT.
|26 Oct 2005||Tom||i've just sat here for ages....... reading everyones accounts of their lives etc, and its really quite sad and depressing but anyway on with my story.
I'm 15 now over the past 2 years i tried to kill myself about 4 times now, but i never could do it, the only reason i couldnt do it was because of my friends, they told me that they do care, and that they are always there for me. my killing method, tiny bit different to everyone elses, i have a 2"5 sword in my bedroom, dont ask why, i held it to my neck and was either going to shove it in, or fall so it stabbed straight through.
I just would like to say the three most important friends that helped me stay alive and show me that life is worth living. Liz was the first person that was there for me, then her friend stace.
but now i have a new face that loves and cares for me shes called Leigh, she is wonderful i dunno what i'd ever do without her now, i really like her now, and hope that we are good friends for a very long time, maybe more some day because i truely do love this girl.
but anyway i just hope that people do read these and take into consideration that their friends, family do care, even if they dont show it that often THEY DO
|20 Oct 2005||HappySister||There is no best way to kill yourself. You need to think of who you are leaving behind. Who loves you and wants you in their life. Believe it or not, you're loved. I caught my sister trying to commit suicide. Man was I scared. I told her I wish I had more time for her, but I have a really busy life; school and work. I love her with all my heart. And so does my family. We'd be lost without her. She never really thought of it that way though. Instead she felt sorry for herself, kept telling herself that she was all alone. Now we all make time for each other, I take her shopping and we go out for dinner. She concentrates more on school and things seem less complicating. I dont wanna lose my sister. I love her. Please think before you try and hurt yourself. You're not alone.|
|17 Oct 2005||bree||how to start. my best friend thinks that the world hates her when she knows she's fine, i get so annoyed i just lost my friends twin sister to suicide, she hung herself at the age of 14 and all i can think is what a waste of life, i mean i ve tried to cut myself b4 and i cant do it the pain and then thinking why would of i been born if i wasnt meant to be here. my friend alwaizs says that she cuts her wrist and that she trys to hang herself but i think its a put on, she makes me feel down cus shes alwaizs talkin bout it, she made me think bout suicide she made me the way i am 2day. my life may not be the best but my family and friends love me and nothin is betta then that, bcus when u think about commiting suicide think about the ppl u are leaving behind not who would care. becus the world does, your family, ur friends, ppl u dont know would hate to see you die and will regret everything they have sedto u, so dont take it out on them its not there fault ur likr this as i was saying keep it to urself or tell a counciller cus frankly i dont want to feel put down cus my best friend feels down|
|17 Oct 2005||tormented soul||i wish i could tell you that if you 13 you shouldn't off yourself cuz there is so much more to life. But then i'd be a hypocrite liar. I'm 21 and a lost child. I feel like there is no way out. Sure my parents love me, but when i tell them how i feel they say it's not that bad or get mad. i'm actually sitting here typing this slowly cutting myself. I'm not a pain person, in fact i fear pain. it just seems at this time to be the only way out. I cut and it goes away a little. I really wanna die and i don't know why. I mean i guess to some degree i do. on a deeper level i guess i don't. I mean sure there are always moments of joy or clearity but usually for me they are followed by moments of pain and despair. it's like everytime something good happens something bad happens too and it's not the opposite. I really think that if your 13. Just wait. High school is shit. Kids are shit. Being young is shit. you'll grow up and shit will change. but if you can't find a way out or a way to feel better like me by the time your 21. then i dunno. just don't be a lonely loser like me. I don't know you but i care. which is odd cuz at the moment i don't care about myself. But reading these made me think..i don't want anyone on here to die. and i hope some of the older postings..are still here. i wish i could gather each of you and make you feel better. but at the same time i understand your pain. so please don't give up and i'll try to do the same.|
|13 Oct 2005||I want to die. I deeply, truly want to end myself. Im sick of this feeling that I cant shake. Im sick of trying to be a clown at school to cover up my insecurities. Im sick of going to the bathrooms at school to cry before class. Im sick of being yelled at for being late because of it. Im sick of being alone. I want friends. I feel cold all the time. My room feels cold; empty. Not the cool breeze that I once enjoyed. It feels like death. There was hope yesterday. How foolish of me. I thought there was hope. I loved her. I still love her. She laughed. She laughed at me, like I was nothing. How cold that felt. As if my being sunk deep into my body and my skin became deadweight. Im sick of not being able to get a job. Im sick of failing school. Im tired of not being able to advance any area of my life because theyre all intertwined. I fail school because I have no friends and cant get a girlfriend and I lose all motivation. Im in a program at school where I need to work a job to pass. Im not motivated to get a job because of the same reason Im not motivated at school. I went to apply at Target yesterday. I filled out an application at their kiosk. At the end I was supposed to pick up the phone and tell an associate that I had completed an application. I didnt have the confidence. I didnt have the confidence to pick up that phone. Seventeen. Thats how old I am. Ive never been kissed. Never been held by a girl. Never been hugged. Seventeen. Fifteen. Thats how old the girl was that thought the idea of me being with her laughable. I want to die.|
|09 Oct 2005||wanting out||I am different each day. Some i love life, others I am deadly. I can never really predict which day will be which. Some days, I escape writing poetry, others with a blunt or a bottle. It really depends on the time of day and the weekend. I really am not psycho though like everyone thinks i am. my family thinks im addicted to alcohol, which is no where near the idea. the fact is, i just am not happy with whom it is that i am, and that will not change. i havent accomplished anything that ive set out to accomplish in life, and while everyone thinks its funny and that im a big joke, i dont think i am. im frustrated because i want to be strong and good like everyone else is and i cant. and when i smile, i really want to be because im happy. not because im holding my tears back. today im depressed and i want to be like everyone else that can just give up and end it, but i just cant. there is always one person i want to hug, or another i havent seen in a while and i simply cant. i cant do a lot of things, though, and thats why im like this. i didnt put my email, either. i never would.|
|06 Oct 2005||MARY||There was many times in my life i felt like giving up ending it all. Even thou they do'nt no it.It was my children who keep me from going even when there was days i think they'd be better off with out me.But i no how crewl this world could be .I have lost a few good friend,s.because they to felt they could'nt go on.Iall way's wish i could off said some thing to keep them here.With me i did'nt no to it was to late.So i live with the guilt of not knowing.Every days a challage everybody has good days bad days some days i dont want to be here at all.MUSIC is my joy make me a instrument to your peace.Where there is hatred let me show love.Where there is injury;pardonWhere there is doubt,faith Where there is despair,hope Where there is darkness,light;And where there is sadness,joy;Grant that i may not so much seek.to be consoled,as to console;To be understood,as to understand;So in the end you got a friend .Just remeber we where put on this planet to love as to be loved.This is only my opionion I Feel that it selfish I no how it feels to lose someone you love it very hurtful the feeling does,nt go away what if so don,t come off with that stupid shit.YOU GOT A FRIEND|
|04 Oct 2005||t-vo||Welll.... I wouldnt commit suicide but i can relate to the deep depression & emptyness. I am also the "mr. smiles" at my school. I cant help it. I'm called stuff like bitch or faget and i have to just laph it off. in my opinion, society sucks. we abide to rules that try to control us. now back to suicide.... i would rather goinsane and try to kill as many as i could. HA HA AH. skrew the inocent, they need to be liberated from there life. Then they wont have to work. :-) but srsly, stop listening to emo and listen to punk, id suggest nervous breakdown by black flag|
|02 Oct 2005||me||ive been thinking about killing myself. i feel so empty sometimes. and the sad part is no one even realizes it or notices. At school i always smile give compliment entertain people and generally i come off as a nice person. So what i want to know is will they miss me if i'm gone?|