|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|14 Jan 2006||kin||im not under thirteen. i'm fourteen. life is only a living hell for me. i want to end it. at home, i can't please my mom: i'm not neat enough,i don't have enough friends, or my clothes aren't fashionably enough.
at school, its too much. for everybit i try, it only gets worse.
my mother and siblings hate me. my father too.
my parents want a divorce because of me. they say i'm not respectful. they say i'm never good to them, that i always start fights. everytime i try to help, i only get blamed.
my friends, if you could call them that, know nothing of me but my name. as quickly as i became their 'friend' they are willing to say shit about me.
people are saying taht life is valuable, that noone should give it up. but then they talk about this wonderful place we go to when we die; worry free, a place where you can do no wrong. they call it heaven. what is so wrong w/ me wanting to go there?
|12 Jan 2006||Mandy||Hey guys, I just wanted to post to tell you somting, I find very important. Just yesterday, I wanted to just die, nothing made sense, I couldn't stop asking myself, "why, why, why?!" I'd tried to hide my being suicidal from y friends, instead of talking to my friends about it, I put it here, as to not hurt their feelings. Unfortunatly, one friend of mine saw this site and saw my site, and eventually most of them found out. Mostly I was bombarded with pointless pity. No action. And then my quite possibly dearest friend found out, and this is what he told me...
He said, "You remind me of some who just got shoved to the floor, be instead of getting back up, you just sit there, with you head hanging... You're life is like a diamond necklace thrown in the gutter; it's so valuble, yet so mistreated, someone has to pick it up out of the filth and make it new again."
At first, I didn't understand what he was saying, and then I was listening to my music, and all of a sudden, I just got it. He meant that my life is worth somthing!
I'm not going to tell you "omg! don kill urself, its bad!!!1" but I will tell you, if my life is truly worth something, your's must be too, your life is just like that diamond necklace in th gutter, but noone can pull you out unless you let them...
|11 Jan 2006||UNKNOWN||I want to kill my self but I don't know how its seems easy but its really compilicated. I have messed up my life and I don't know how to fix it everyday I come to the same stuff and the same people telling my I'm a terrible person and everyone is better than me. And then trying to force to me to do things or threating and hurting me if I don't do them . I have hate for them and my parents scream and me and they tell me im the worst child anyone could every have and that everyone is better than me. And I try so hard to be normal but no one realizes abd excepts you while your trying to change. I've learned that if you start of acting like one way and you show people that that is who you are then they will always think of you as that they won't let you change into what you want to be that doesn't make a lot of sense i;m sure to you but i mean I showed people how studpic i was and how ugly i was and then after that i changed and i turned better prettier and i tried hard to change and i atually got exactly how i wanted to be i dressed a lot better like wore in style clothes instead of ugly clothes and everything. But the people still see you as how you once were and i hate it can't they see that if a person changes they want to be treated differently. The only way to start a fresh start in your life like with people around you is start all over. If you are in a school that everyone hates you except mabey your close friends then move and start acting how you want to be treated. From the begginging .And if your like me and your parents don't understand you. They just don't know how I feel and they think I have everything adn should be the happiest person. But I'm not they think i'm smart im the dumbest person and everyone but them knows it. And every time I think i'm doing soemthing good or anything i always get told it was terrible. When ever I think i look good people tell me how ugly i am but they truly dont relize what the fuck kind of a person I am infact I don't know if anyone does. Only the people that mabey I talk to online and that I show who I am to them. Then I show them my picture and they don;t think its ugly. Cuz even though i;m not the wost person alive and the ugliest piece of shit ever people know me as a loser and a ugly fucked up piece of shit cuz thats what i was before but then i changed but they don;t seem to understand that.
I'v tried to cut myslef and to slit my wrists but ive given up that now because everyday i just hope that mabey my life will get better and that i will become happier and that people will come to understnad who i really am
|10 Jan 2006||jason||I really don't understand the question any more than I understand the meaning of life. To me life seems little more than a suffering endurance test. I know other people out there are happy, but they have reason to be. They are loved, they are successful, they are popular and respected.
I on the other hand, have none of those things. I live like a robot would live. I get up, eat, go to work, come home exhausted go to bed, wake up, eat and repeat. Nothing in this world interests me, not even women any longer. I want nothing that life has to offer - not a thing.
There is nothing on this earth that I would want. Not a pool, a big screen t.v., or even a nice car. Nothing matters to me. This life of mine seems completely lost. What is the point?
So many people feel this way, the number always growing. Men need women, and since feminism, fewer and fewer people find what they're really searching for I think. This world no longer offers a life of meaning.
And I am simply searching for a way out. Given the chance to live life again, as a famous celebrity, with a beautiful wife and kids, a nice home, car you name it, I would say know. I couldn't bear to go through life again. Once is already more than enough for me.
|10 Jan 2006||Ashley||I wrote this poem after my friend hung himself. I hope it helps some to understand suicides effects on everyone they think doon't love them.
It changes us all
But I was once told
Everything happens for a reason.
I dont quite understand why
Im not sure I ever will.
Why some one so loved
And so close to your heart
Would go and hurt you so.
I dont get it
How some one so young
Could feel so unwanted
And do something so stupid.
Its beyond me.
Death is forever
No matter how its done
God himself cant reverse it
And it makes no sense to me.
|08 Jan 2006||non-suicidal||well...i was just browsing the net when i came across this website...actually, thats a lie. i'm pretty pissed at my parents right now. some people say, "oh my god, my parents just don't understand me" but im willing to bet my bank account that they understand you more than you think. however, in my case, i KNOW that they don't understand me. they are just sooooo...gah..there is no word in the english vocabulary to describe them. my dad is getting better...but my mom...holy crap. she is so insensitive, untrusting and selfish. i realize that many people are being beaten by their parents as we speak, so why should i complain if im not being physically abused? well, im not sure. it just seems to me that i have to bottle up all of my emotions...until i end up bursting. which i know will happen soon. oh man, here i am complaining about my parents when there are MUCH bigger problems out there. the thing is, i have friends and siblings who actually LISTEN to me (unlike the parental units), and i have to say that those are the only people who are keeping me going right now. i'll admit, i have had suicidal thoughts at one point in my life (because of my parents, of course)...i mean really, who hasn't?? but what im trying to say is that its not worth it to give others the satisfaction of you killing yourself. if you're all saying that you have no friends, that everyone is turning on you, then why would you do what they EXPECT you to do? i've always hated doing what other people wanted or expected me to do...i would always do the opposite. my parents tell me to clean the table (not ask), and i would simply make it dirtier....even though im a neat freak and i absolutely think dirt is disgusting. wow, im so off topic. im not giving you pity, cause i realize you don't want it. all you want is to be heard, right? thats all i've ever wanted from my parents, for them to listen, trust or love me. but, i honestly don't think thats ever going to happen, so do you know what i do? i MAKE friends who i know will listen to me and help me when im feeling low. i know that its not like you can walk up to a stranger on the street and say, "be my friend" ...of course its not that easy! but keep looking, its worth it when you find at least one friend who you like listening to and who will listen to you no matter what. eek, i write a lot...and i haven't really answered the question. the truth of the matter is, that i have no idea:) im not going to suggest you find god or get over it... just talk about it like you are on this website, and someone will listen. i read a lot of these emails and although i can't exactly sympathize with you, i want to help.|
|08 Jan 2006||bronwyn||hey im only 16 and i dont know how old this site is and whether or not anyone reads it or not but id like to help. first off i was once in your positions, only once did i have the guts to actually attempt anything more severe than cutting, but my mother came home early just as i was slipping through the noose. I am atheist so you know that i do not believe, but something must have kept me here. I never got councelling but the tremendous amount of support i got afterwards from my parents helped me. It made me realise that there are people here for me, even if its very few, and i would certainly not want to hurt the only people still holding out for me. i was 12 years old when i did this and i am now 16. I am still young but in those 4 years i have realised it wasnt worth it. Ive pulled through and now things just couldnt get better. To get the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain. Im not going to go into my own details anymore, would just like to let you all know that there is more out there. Hold on. Youre more beautiful than you all think. If you would like to chat about anything, post your email up here and i will add you to msn or drop you an email. Dont be scared to come forward. :) smile|
|05 Jan 2006||Immortality lost||Have you ever had one of those days. No... I suppose you haven't as you don't know what "those days" implies. The fact is, I can't explain it to you. You have to have one of "those days to have the vaugest idea what I'm on about. Sufice it to say that having one of "those days" is a very bad thing, and let's also say that a good portion of my days have been "those days". Now lets say that I'm going to kill myself. You notice I dont say want to kill myself, and in a bit you'll know why.
I have a good life. I have never seen any of my loved ones die, have never been raped, beaten too badly, or bullied. Yet I will kill myself. I will do this because my life will not get better. Oh yes, my surroundings might change, I'll meet new people, have moments of true happiness, and live a normal pathetic little life. But for what. No one will remember me when I'm gone. Any good I've done will be undone by more bad. I have no delusions of changing the world.
I see so much beaty everywhere, and I see a pattern to things. This world is a wonderful place to be, and I don't want to leave it. But I will. Because as much as I want to live, I know I wont. I will be alive, but I won't live. Everything good that will happen to me, I'll ruin. I'll just keep finding ways to make myself miserable, untill I won't see the beauty in anything anymore. I'm sorry that I have to die. But I DO have to. And that is it. And that is all.
|05 Jan 2006||Kathrine||when i was 12 i was raped. this was my most horrifing day i was walking home from school when my best friend's boyfriend's car pulled over next to me.him and his brother offered me a ride home. and me being an idiot said sure. i got into the car and they started driving. then they pulled over at a vacant lot. then my friend's boyfriend's brother got out and opened my door and made me come out. then he told me to go into the abondaned buliding in the lot. i started to sense what was about to happpen so i started running away but he pulled out a gun and treatened to shoot me if i didn't stop. he came towards me and pulled me fromthe hair into the building. when we were inside he demanded for me to take my clothes off but i wouldn't do it. so he started beating me. i was close to passing out but i stayed strong and he started to take my cloths off then he started to kiss me and then started touching me you probably know what happened next. i was so disscusted i started to cry.after he stopped i layed there frozen for a while then he told me to put my clothes on and he threatend me that if i told anyone about what happened he would hurt me once more.he finally started taking me home he left me at the corner. that night i cut my wrists but my mom came in when she heard me scream.i was taken to the hospital immidiatly. weeks later i didn't feel well and started throwing up. i fainted and iwoke up in the hospital the next day. i found out i was pregnant. i still wish i could of killed my self!|
|04 Jan 2006||marco||Hi i would just like to say im 26 ive been smoking heroin since the age of 16 my dad used to kick me so hard blood would poor from my mouth my uncle lived with us who would try and stick up for us but he was much younger than my dad so he got the same as us so ill start from the age of 10 had so many kickings my eyes could and still do not focas on things mum took me away from my dad at 11 turned in to a motocross theif took them home ringed them stamped them sold them some we kept one day we was racing and my friend had a accident where some wire on the pitch hit him he died instantly he was 23 he had 2 kids and one on the way kept getting locked up mum had no money and i had to provide christmas day we ate bean toasties by now im 13 we stole a car went joy riding police came up beind us we did one my friend lost it round a bend the car toppled over and over everyone in the car bar me died i felt id cheated them horrible feeling we were in it together so in total at 13 id lost 5 friends and didnt think i deserved to live got a girl at 14 who was unlike the rest she was 23 and i realy fell for her on my 15th birthday she got run over and killed on her way getting me a guitar from then i knew i had to die coz every one i had was dead but i kept on met new friends at 16 got offerd heroin i used to hate heroin addicts used to shout to them bag head smack head then the table turned i confided in my uncle who i mentioned earlier im 26 now still smoking heroin trying to kick the habbit but its hard last year my uncle who was there for me tryed to cut his wrists i went to see him in hospital give him the normal lecture tryed to talk sense in to him and told him i loved him for the first time in my life i said you have 4 brilliant kids come on try fight it a week later he did something what i wont say coz i dont wanna give anyone any ideas but he did something what gave him multiple injuries on the way to the hospital he was saying sorry to the ambulance men and at hospital saying sorry to the nurses for bothering them he diead 10 minutes later see he lost his mum and dad and couldnt handle the pain so he ended it but what the fuck about us now we are in pain even though you dont see these paople every day dont mean they dont care i still want to die but my mum is it far on her but then is it fare on me living in hell coz i dont wanna hurt her and the answer is yes no mother should have to bury there child everyone feeling suicidle dont let the shitty world win you control it dont let it control you you decide your own destiny and fuck all the shit what you get theres paople who need you all even people you havent met yet even auntie dorris who you never see but sends you a card at christmas theres people who are left beind who carnt carry on without you my uncle has caused so much hurt and pain i loved him to bits but what he did was wrong we was there but we didnt show it and thats something we have to live with for ever i only told him i loved him when he was in hospital well maybe he needed to know before that and not just off me of everyone who knew him people just get so wrapped up in there own lives they dont seem to give a shit about ours but when they lose you,youve killed them too please people wake up and live life is one big road with lots of signsso when you contomplate death focass on your life love to yoyu all jj|
|04 Jan 2006||Paul||killing yourself is never the answer, so many people get hurt, i went through sever depression a nwmber of years ago because i was bullies at work, i bough my own grave a was setting my affairs in order, life was so dark and empty as if i was all along even though i knew i had people who cared for me and loved me. I am a christian and tought why is my father in heaven alowing me to go through this? In the end i thought about the people i would leave behind, my wife and children, and others. I called that time the night of the dark soul even thought it was 3 years, i was also afraid i would end up in hell, although i dont know if i would have or not, (I do believe in Hell)and if that was the case my problems would have been like a party if i'd had done it and gone there. This is somthing to think very long and hard about, if you do take your own life you will go out of time and into eternity, but where will you be? In heaven with God or in total darkness, depressed for ever with no way out. Dont kid yourself Hell is real and there are many people who are there right now who wish the never toke there own lives and if they could talk to you right now for even 10 seconds they would tell you the same. Please take this as a warning and a help God loves you and will listen to your problems, help your needs and lift you out of this if you talk to him, he is there and will prove it if you ask him. Dont listne to people giving advice on how to kill yourselves they are cowards and liars, they are the ones who dont care.|
|01 Jan 2006||ryan johnson||are there any forums like this in more of a debate style? philosophically, i have overwhelming evidence to say that life is an incidental, random, and pointless phenomenon. it's not necesarilly harmful, but inconsequential. i saw this, and it seems irrefutable, and this is the most obvious reason i have to end it. this all stemmed from the question " what's so important about being happy?"
to say that life is just the most valuable thing and offer no evidence doesn't really help people, unless they are dim, in which case their death would benefit everyone else's lives
let's see, list of my personal issues with death : when i was about 8-9 i remember thinking a lot about if i disappeared or had never been born, and sometimes i would think about starting a sink and hitting my head on the faucet. for some reason i thought i could just hurt my abdomen, and would try my hardest to squeeze some vital organs (mostly my liver because i could feel it), and usually just hoping i wouldn't wake up every now and then. later, i just decided to think about the entire existence i was leading, and questioning happiness as a motivation kind of unraveled things for me. at 13 i brought a knife to school and tried to cut my wrists, but having no experience or knowledge i gave up. on and off i would try to cut my wrists or strangle myself, but not until about feb of '05 did i do any internet research. now my best bet tieing a belt around my neck, and around a flashlight, and twisting the flashlight until i either cut off a lot of vein flow or can't breathe, depending on what the belt is pressing on. i'm no good at cutting, but i know there's an artery next the the blood donating vein, that's just under the surface, and next to some nerve or tendon. it is a major artery and will kill in under an hour, but i can't bring myself past light scratches.
so, i repeat my question, are there any debates about this, other than the internal struggles in every human worldwide? i'm sick of cop out "life is precious" or "it will all get better" answers, because this is amateur and damaging advice. if you're going to off yourself, do the research and play to your strengths. if your parents have vast amounts of medications, find out the ld50 and take it. no more half attempts for the fashionably miserable, who need the attention in our overpopulated world - leave suicide to the pros.
|01 Jan 2006||Gennie||i went thru alot of bull crap, when I was 13 and it really sucked. I always thought I'll be ok and live my life like I'll die that day..haven't happend, yet. Now, that I'm 25 and I'm going thru more shit then ever....I dont know, anymore. I'm lost and confused about life. Getting married didnt helped either...made it more worse. Why the fuck did I get married?? well..stupid of me, thought it will be better. I should stop thinking about my future, because I'm making it worse everyday...and it's probably, why I'm here in fucking NEW YEAR DAY to talk about it. Surviving sux and killing yourself sux....I guess, I'm just a coward, eh? *probably* I'm not sure anymore....................and I'm getting tired. Tell me something I dont know and I dont need to hear from freaking 17 yrs old kid, life is valuable. Trust me kiddies, I've been to hell and came back. You have no idea, what I've been thru, and your are too young to give me any advice.|
|31 Dec 2005||Just A Person||at least 50% of people are capricious, selfish, ruthless, ignorant, cruel or aggressive and aren't worth the time of day.
45% range from pretty awful to so-so.
3% are not bad.
2% are caring, decent and intelligent.
we live in a world where spiritual values are seen as pointless and most ppl just want to grab what they can for themselves and don't care whose body they trample on in order to lift themselves up. If people minded their buisness then their wouldnt
be so much hate in this world
look guys this is the world we live in if we were all the same in life it would be boring..
hmm... if you hate everyone so much that you wish they didn't exist, why are you spending your time reaching out to tell us all about it? Get a cat... that's what I did (dogs are good too). He's the best friend I've ever had. I just tell him what I think of humanity, and then we drop the subject (he never has much to say) and go for a nice long walk. Maybe I'm a little crazy, but hey... I'd be a lot crazier and a lot less happy if it weren't for my cat.
|30 Dec 2005||Ashlee||When I was 15 I took a bootle of anti-deperessent just to see what would happen. I pssed out in the tub and wake the next morning in a psych hosptial for attempted suicide. I don't think I can die. i've tried to many times with the same results. I mean hell I stepped in front of a car, got up and walked off as if nothing happened.|
|30 Dec 2005||Ashley||I wrote in a story of what had happened to me in hopes that some one would read it and stop to think about what they wanted to do. I am highly offended that you would think that I was suggesting ways to kill yourself. I wathed my girlfriend die and I live with that image everyday. Not only do I live with this horrid image, but I also live with the regret I have from trying to take my life too. Every time I think of her, I feel let down and hurt and sad and angry... I get angry with her and I know I schouldn't. I get angry with myself for being angry with her. I know why she did it, and I know it wasn't right. The last thing I saw in her eyes was regret. Regret that she was hurting me, that she was taking her life... AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ACCUSE ME OF SUGGESTING THAT SOMEONE HANG THEMSELF?!!! My girlfriend wasn't the only person I lost to suicide. My boyfriend hung himself because of his father. Suicide hurts everyone INCLUDING THOSE YOU LOVE, not just the ones you want to hurt. THAT WAS THE POINT I WAS MAKING!!!!|
|28 Dec 2005||Ashley||I am 17 and I have tried to kill myself on numerous occassions since my girlfriend hung herslf infront of me. I have scars on my wrists and and on my back from where I cut---no, slashed, myself an innumerable amount of times. I've tried drugs and pills from my mom's work bag, she's an EMT. I've tried just about everything except hanging myself. I watched my girlfriend hang herself at a party one night when I was about 14 or 15. We were on the deck and it had a roof that went about half way over it. We were drunk and she had been depressed for a really long time. We were making out when she pulled away and said, "fuck this, all of it, I love you babe, but I can't deal with my life anymore." Her father used to beat her and he had beaten her pretty hard the day before...she had cuts on her face from being thrown into the wall and her arm looked like he had tried to break it again...she was full of bruises, but to me she was as beautiful as ever...she always faught back against him. She always got out alive, she always came back to me so I could hold her. I tried to stop her, but she oush me off of her. I tried to get the rope off her neck,but slapped me and punched me...she was a strong fighter. I tried to get help as she was tieing the rope to the roof rail, but no one listened. I tried to get her down, but I couldn't get theknot undone. I tried to sit her on my shoulders so she could breathe, but she kicked me till I fell. I tried to save her, but I couldn't. I picked up a piece of glass from the broken window she had kicked me into and tried to cut the rope, but it was too late and the rope slipped and cut my wrist alittle. I remember it didn't hurt, nothing hurt after not being able to save her. I took the glass and started cut my wrists anyway I could...that's when everyone inside realized something was wrong...my boyfriend makes me cover my scars on my wrists when we have sex now, but he doesn't know that I keep my arms covered for a different reason.|
|28 Dec 2005||Harlan||When I was 13, I was very depressed. I was hearing voices in my head telling me to kill myself, I called them rage. They ate away at me and were always teasing and taunting. I thought I had nothing to live for, but I was wrong. Suicide sounds like a great way to end your suffering, but in reality you must be alive in order to feel relief. Don't just end your life and give into the pain, suffering is a part of life no matter how intense the suffering may be.|
|28 Dec 2005||6,995 days old.||I often wonder whether I will die old or young.
Right now, I'm thinking probaly 60% chance I'll die early, 40% I'll make it in the land of the living.
What will be hardest is that I know I have so much potential. I could be weathly, and have a successful career. I would make a good father. I could leave my old life behind. But somehow, I don't feel it was meant to be. Everything in life that really mattered to me was always a 'nearly'. As in, I tried so hard, but the things that really mattered to me were always out of reach. And it's happened so many times, over and over again. For the past 9 years. Solid.
So: I've given up; because that's the only thing left for me, that I can do. I don't have the energy to keep going. Not with my family being such a bunch of useless lemons.
There's no doubt about it: the easiest way out for me is to stop living. Not work through my fucking problems. Fuck that. I tried that for most of my life, and it got me no-where. So fuck the councilors, and fuck all the judgemental middle class people with their nice lives, who don't know shit what it feels like to have nothing. And all the judgemental people for that matter. Because most of them don't know the true meaning of pain. Don't tell me I live in a rich country. I don't care. Don't tell me I'm privalaged, I'm not interested. Don't tell me that you think I should buck up my ideas, I'll stab you in the fucking heart. Hows that for an idea.
I'm trying. I am. I really am. I trying REAL HARD to be someone better. But I don't have one single person in the real world who wants to help. Don't we, each other, matter more than money, or media, or politics?!? Isn't honour what matters more than ruling the f***ing world? Do people have to get so greedy, and power hungry? It's just sick.
I think it would be better if instead of greed, and power, people spent their time on love, and compassion. How many millionaires do you know who have said: "right, I don't need $700million to live on, so I'll give $695million away tomorrow." Why can't they?? Huh? Greed? Oh yeah, thought so. Do they care about the millions of people who don't have jack to live on? No, didn't think so. Fuck Bill Gates, fuck Rupert Murdoch, screw them all. Glutony is a sin. It says it, not only in the bible, BUT IN THE 10 FUCKING COMMANDMENTS. How can they ignore it!? And these people go to church!? And the very same types of people tell us that we should be giving OUR money to charity! God save us.
|28 Dec 2005||helper||i have seen the doctor and i am much better now!
people talk to your doctor please it will help alot.
my doctor helped me alot.