|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|31 Jan 2006||I||tONIGHT I MOVE IN THIS HOISPITAL.
IF I HAVE A REASON 2 LIVE, I DONT KNOW. HOWEVER FEW YEARS AGO, PPL RAPED ME AND ABUSED ME IN SECRET FOR LIKE 3 YEARS. AND THERE WERE ALWAYS PEOPLE COMING 2 MY BEDROOM AT NIGHT WHISPERING RANDOM STUFF TO ME. AND I WAS ALWAYS SMELLING THIS ACIDIC SMELL THAT WAS EVERYWHERE THAT I WENT.
AND I GOT MORE DEPRESSED AND DEPRESSED EVERYDAY. I HATED THE PPL WHO HAD RAPED ME AND I HATED THE SMELL TAHT I SMELT AND I HATED THE PPL HU TALKED 2 ME DURING THE NIGHT.
THEN I WENT COUNSELLING AN UNDERWENT HYPNOTHERAPY AND I FIND OUT THAT THE RAPING THING WAS ALL IN MY DISILLUSIONED HEAD AND MIND, AND THE PEOPLE WHO CAME UP TO ME AT NIGHT WERE ALL IN MMY HEAD, ALONG WITH THE ACIDIC SMELL. I SUFFER FROM A RARE FORM OF MPD.
I HONESLTY DINDT KNOW IT WAS ALL IN MY SICK MIND. I THOUGHT I WAS SANE. OH GOD, I APOLOGISE 2 THE PEOPLE WHO I BLAMED FOR 'DOING' THINGS 2 ME EVEN THOUGH THEY DINT DO ANYTHING IN REALITY.
I AM SORRY 4 ALL THE SHIT AND CONFUSION AND ANGER I HAVE CAUSED.
I WILL DIE THIS AFTERNOON. I CANNOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF BEING MENTAL, AND MOVING IN MENTAL HOSPITAL, SO I WILL COMIIT SUICIDE SECRETLY EVEN THOUGH THERE IS A GUARDIAN WATCHING ME AT ALL TIMES, AND EVN THOUGH IM NOT ALLOWED NEAR KNIVES OR NEAR POINTED OBJECTS.
|29 Jan 2006||boltzmann||I just wanted to say that the injecting air into your veins is probably the most painful way you can kill self. what do you think happens when the air bubble passes through your heart? heart attack (doesnt have to kill you the first time) then what you think happens when it passes through your brain? Stroke, convulsions, brain damage... might not be dead yet... air bubble goes round for a 2nd trip, who knows how many trips it might take before the end. I work in a hospice (a place where people go that are activly dieing) all death is very painful there are very few that die in peace most pass away with so much pain that they are given so much morphine just trying to make it less painful for them.
Dieing is not a good thing.
|25 Jan 2006||Sharon||I tried to kill myself once and I want to tell you it was the most scariest thing in my life. I am glad today I didn't die because there were demons all over me waiting to take me to hell. I could see the most ugliest demons. I am happy that God spared my life. If you kill yourself people, I am here to tell you that you are going to hell when you die. So if you are having these thoughts,it is nothing but the devil wanting your soul.|
|25 Jan 2006||Lauren||Listen guys~
Im 21 and a lot of shit has happened to me in my life. My dad left my family when I was 10, I was raped when I was 16 by some one I trusted, and last year my mom died. Believe me I know what its like to hurt. I cut myself until I was 19 years old. I understand. Throught most of my teens I wanted to commit suicide, and attempted it twice. What I want to tell you is that IT DOES GET BETTER. I now see that I have a future ahead of me, and that the horrible problems that I had really werent the end of the world. I got through them all, not very well, but I did. You will get through the problems you are having. If you just wait awhile it will be better for you. You can leave your parents house and be your own person. You can go off to college, or move away and get a job. Something wonderful might happen to you in the future. Why risk that chance and die now? No matter how horrible it is now (And I know how terrible it can be), I know that in time everything can get better. Circumstances change. At the end of you life, you will look back and be happy that you did not kill yourself in your teens.
|24 Jan 2006||Too Ashamed to Say||I'm so scared. I'm 26 years old and have considered suicide for over 10 years - but THANKFULLY, I have a conscience. I think about my parents and how crushed they would be, and I think about my brother and the disappointment it would cause. Someone said that suicide is selfish - they couldn't be more right. But, as much as I know all of this, I'm afraid it will eventually NOT be enough to stop my thoughts, my plans. I used to be like many of you - problems with my parents, feeling alone, etc etc that led me to these thoughts. But as I've gotten older, the issues have grown. I'm not supposed to think like this, I'm from a very prestigious family of doctors, I'm very educated - and I've always been full of smiles...on the outside. Just when I thought something was wrong with me, I met the most amazing man - and we have been together for a long time now. We have our own issues that I won't get into - but an accidental moment of unprotected sex led to pregnancy. I decided that the best option we had, the best for both of us, was to terminate it. I am reminded a MILLION times a day of my decision - how can I look at my parents and not be ashamed of the choices I have made? I don't understand- I have everything to look forward to. An opportunity for a successful career ahead, the plans of a wedding in the works - but right now I don't want any of it. I want to walk away and pretend I was never here - I want to erase my existance from this world. I have made too many mistakes to live with myself and to believe that I can be a good daughter, friend, sister, wife or mother. I am disgusted with myself...|
|22 Jan 2006||gamble (daz)||i have tried everything i can think of t finish it all i hung my self i slashed my wrists and i even jumped off a bridge i dint want t tell anyone why i was doing it because i was scared what my family would say when me and my girlfriend split up it nearly killed me in its self but now we are back together and im happy again, so i always say stop thinking bout the preasent and start thinking bout your future because it can only get better if you are reading this now cant it, i had support from my mate if you dont then you need to tell someone it really is a lot off your chest or if u want to ask people you dont know then this site is really helpful but in the end its up to you just think it can only get better|
|22 Jan 2006||anon||i think this website is amusing. obv im not saying that i think suicide is amusing. but i think its amusing reading peoples reasons and the total extreme deifferences in them. i think its funny when its totally obvious someone is exagerating there reasons as to justify their feelings. you dont need reasons to commit suicide. i also think its amusing that i rlly dont think this site is helping anyone. and SOME of the people on here seem to be very un intelligent and complete attention seekers. no offence. no one seems to be helping anyone. no one is even rlly taking notice.
im not here to help you. because i stumbled across this site with no intentions of giving a fuck about it, and i dont. but i know there must be one person on this site who rlly is looking for help and rlly does not know where to turn, and to that one person, i pray that you read this:
you dont need this site. at all. all thses people on here you dont even know. they cant help you. everyone goes through this feeling. absolutely everyone. i have. of course i have. some people not as bad as others. some people take actions other people dont. but everyone does go through it. so to that one person, get the fuck off this computer and go speak to someone. try your parents, i know how you dont want to tell them, for reasons that are different for others, my reasons were the guilt, didnt want them to blame themselves, i didnt want them to get upset or mad, i thought it would cause un necessary worry. but eventually one day i told them, and i can promise you it is never as bad as you imagine. or if your parents rlly arent an option, then speak to a friend. and if a friend rlly isnt an option then ring a help line, there are so many. but for god sake do not just let go, and do not get dragged into this site, your so beautiful just because your alive, and i know exactly how you feel, i rlly do, but for god sake, if i can live through it, then so can you.
|21 Jan 2006||Ashley||I've posted here before and have always told of my past...now I wish to speak of my present. I am 17; I cut my wrists; I cut my back; I did it last week. The cuts are heeling; the scars are forming; they over lap. I DON'T DO IT BECAUSE I WANT TO DIE, I DO IT BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE. When a person is alive, they can feel; they can feel love; they can feel sad; they can feel happy; they can feel pain; they can feel. That is what I want. I want to feel; Feel more than the blade of a knife; feel more than the warmth of my blood; feel more than thfresh wound in my skin. I DON'T DO IT BECAUSE I WANT TO DIE, I DO IT BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE.|
|18 Jan 2006||Miss K||To all you searching for a way out;
I was 13 a very long time ago but having read a lot of the posts on this site its become evident that being 13 now is not comparable to being 13 when I was young. Suicide had never crossed my mind back then and yet now I toy with the idea, even though society will dictate that being older and concequently wiser, I would know better that to think in such a way.
But I want to point out that the notion of taking my life only plays in my mind, deep down I know that it will never happen. Its merely my mind giving me an option so that I dont feel as if I dont have any. You know that feeling of beign trapped? Where every possible thing that can go wrong does, and nothing that you say/do/think is good enough for those around you? Well, during such times teh best think to do is give yourself options; think what you can do to get yourself to stop feeling in that particular way. one of the options should be suicide, ideally the last. You see, the more options you have, the more it beings to feel like a plan...a map if you will. A map that can guide you out of your hour of darkness.
And as you emerge from that place, bear in mind that suicide is an option. An option, but not the path.
|17 Jan 2006||Lexee||Hi everyone my name is Lexee and I am from Connecticut. Okay I have found out 2 day that I have diagnosed wif this mental disorder. And now I know that I am beginning to get very depressed, and suicide seems 2 be a good way out. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I HAD A MENTAL DISORDER! I thought I was normal.
Ok I dont know how to describe this, but I will try very hard too.
There were times when I was seeing and hearing things that were not really there and when I was actually hearing and seeing things THAT WERE there. But the thing is I couldn't tell the diffrence between my 'hallucinations' and reality. My hallucinations were actually so real and lifelike. Like one thing in my hallucinations my frend was trying 2 commit suicide and I actually belived that, even though it was all in my head, because it was so lifelike.
I even thought others around me were mental, before i knew about my condition and I blamed them for things they didn't even do, but I thought they did them, becauise I saw them doing things in my hallucination like things.
I am now taking medication.
|17 Jan 2006||Dave||Hi im Dave in 28 and i know how you all feel by killing your self. but i got to say i tried it but it was a long time agaon cos i was so hurt by my ex who i feel in love with. but shit happens and you cant help how ppl feel but im here if you need somone to talk to and to be a mate to. my msn is email@example.com. also b4 u ask when i tried to kill me self i tried to hang by a rope but the thing snaped lol.. but in a way im glad it did cos im still here and life better for me now and if u did die then u only hurt ppl u love and maybe go to hell. anyhow thank you for looking drop me aline xxxxx|
|16 Jan 2006||Adam||im 15 and i wnt to die cause ever since ive turned 13 ive been gettin the blame for everything any1 does n i wnted to get it out my system so i tryed to kill ma sen didnt work i was gettin happy wid ma gf weve been goin out 3 months n now she wnts a baby and now she wnt stop moanin and its jst pissin me off and now shes preg wid ma kid by a condom splittin n she wnt get an abortion or nyfin so i jst wanna die|
|16 Jan 2006||Confusion with a K||its hard to live.. but when u finaly open urself ot someone and show how u feel and wut ur plans are for ur future, they break down and it stops you from doing wut u really want to do. when you feel the pain, finally are able to just finish the battle, you feel calm and ready. its an amazing feeling, its not even scary. but u try to say goodbye to someone you love nad it stops the feeling. you feel guilty.. suicide for me, it is the answer, but dont give up. im still here and so are you, something is keeping us here. we all just need to find out what it is that makes us want to stay and live our lives for that one thing.|
|15 Jan 2006||B||From just briefly skimming the contents of this forum, it is obvious that there is a mixture of people who find suicide a joke and some who are seriously battling with depression.
Everyone, suicide is NOT something that people can take lightly. People who think that they're going to get attention from others because they are facing hardship and mental problems will end up wasting their lives. There is so much opportunity out there, and even though it may seem tough and useless at times, you can make yourself a great life if you try. But if you're going to whinge and complain on a stupid website about the things you hate and not actually do anything about it, then you're an idiot. It'd be a lot better if you got some help and tried to fix up your life, rather then blame others for being miserable enough to end your life. But I can also tell that for some people who can't get that help they need, this site can provide some support.
I'm 15, and there were times in my past when I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die, and I indulged in the self-pity that contemplating suicide often offers. You can only fight your depression when you realise that you are not the centre of the universe - everything does not revolve around yourself, and when things go wrong, you do not need to just kill yourself.
Eventually, I realised that I was being immature and stupid, and I left my suicidal phase. But I still cut myself when I actively want to sink into my self-defeat, and I have damn ugly scars all over me to remind me of my stupidity. But never have I ever cut myself with the intention of committing suicide, because I knew that suicide is not the answer... I have been lucky. For all those out there that want to die, you need to know that, too. Suicide does not solve problems. It just eliminates them in the worst way possible.
|14 Jan 2006||kin||im not under thirteen. i'm fourteen. life is only a living hell for me. i want to end it. at home, i can't please my mom: i'm not neat enough,i don't have enough friends, or my clothes aren't fashionably enough.
at school, its too much. for everybit i try, it only gets worse.
my mother and siblings hate me. my father too.
my parents want a divorce because of me. they say i'm not respectful. they say i'm never good to them, that i always start fights. everytime i try to help, i only get blamed.
my friends, if you could call them that, know nothing of me but my name. as quickly as i became their 'friend' they are willing to say shit about me.
people are saying taht life is valuable, that noone should give it up. but then they talk about this wonderful place we go to when we die; worry free, a place where you can do no wrong. they call it heaven. what is so wrong w/ me wanting to go there?
|12 Jan 2006||Mandy||Hey guys, I just wanted to post to tell you somting, I find very important. Just yesterday, I wanted to just die, nothing made sense, I couldn't stop asking myself, "why, why, why?!" I'd tried to hide my being suicidal from y friends, instead of talking to my friends about it, I put it here, as to not hurt their feelings. Unfortunatly, one friend of mine saw this site and saw my site, and eventually most of them found out. Mostly I was bombarded with pointless pity. No action. And then my quite possibly dearest friend found out, and this is what he told me...
He said, "You remind me of some who just got shoved to the floor, be instead of getting back up, you just sit there, with you head hanging... You're life is like a diamond necklace thrown in the gutter; it's so valuble, yet so mistreated, someone has to pick it up out of the filth and make it new again."
At first, I didn't understand what he was saying, and then I was listening to my music, and all of a sudden, I just got it. He meant that my life is worth somthing!
I'm not going to tell you "omg! don kill urself, its bad!!!1" but I will tell you, if my life is truly worth something, your's must be too, your life is just like that diamond necklace in th gutter, but noone can pull you out unless you let them...
|11 Jan 2006||UNKNOWN||I want to kill my self but I don't know how its seems easy but its really compilicated. I have messed up my life and I don't know how to fix it everyday I come to the same stuff and the same people telling my I'm a terrible person and everyone is better than me. And then trying to force to me to do things or threating and hurting me if I don't do them . I have hate for them and my parents scream and me and they tell me im the worst child anyone could every have and that everyone is better than me. And I try so hard to be normal but no one realizes abd excepts you while your trying to change. I've learned that if you start of acting like one way and you show people that that is who you are then they will always think of you as that they won't let you change into what you want to be that doesn't make a lot of sense i;m sure to you but i mean I showed people how studpic i was and how ugly i was and then after that i changed and i turned better prettier and i tried hard to change and i atually got exactly how i wanted to be i dressed a lot better like wore in style clothes instead of ugly clothes and everything. But the people still see you as how you once were and i hate it can't they see that if a person changes they want to be treated differently. The only way to start a fresh start in your life like with people around you is start all over. If you are in a school that everyone hates you except mabey your close friends then move and start acting how you want to be treated. From the begginging .And if your like me and your parents don't understand you. They just don't know how I feel and they think I have everything adn should be the happiest person. But I'm not they think i'm smart im the dumbest person and everyone but them knows it. And every time I think i'm doing soemthing good or anything i always get told it was terrible. When ever I think i look good people tell me how ugly i am but they truly dont relize what the fuck kind of a person I am infact I don't know if anyone does. Only the people that mabey I talk to online and that I show who I am to them. Then I show them my picture and they don;t think its ugly. Cuz even though i;m not the wost person alive and the ugliest piece of shit ever people know me as a loser and a ugly fucked up piece of shit cuz thats what i was before but then i changed but they don;t seem to understand that.
I'v tried to cut myslef and to slit my wrists but ive given up that now because everyday i just hope that mabey my life will get better and that i will become happier and that people will come to understnad who i really am
|10 Jan 2006||jason||I really don't understand the question any more than I understand the meaning of life. To me life seems little more than a suffering endurance test. I know other people out there are happy, but they have reason to be. They are loved, they are successful, they are popular and respected.
I on the other hand, have none of those things. I live like a robot would live. I get up, eat, go to work, come home exhausted go to bed, wake up, eat and repeat. Nothing in this world interests me, not even women any longer. I want nothing that life has to offer - not a thing.
There is nothing on this earth that I would want. Not a pool, a big screen t.v., or even a nice car. Nothing matters to me. This life of mine seems completely lost. What is the point?
So many people feel this way, the number always growing. Men need women, and since feminism, fewer and fewer people find what they're really searching for I think. This world no longer offers a life of meaning.
And I am simply searching for a way out. Given the chance to live life again, as a famous celebrity, with a beautiful wife and kids, a nice home, car you name it, I would say know. I couldn't bear to go through life again. Once is already more than enough for me.
|10 Jan 2006||Ashley||I wrote this poem after my friend hung himself. I hope it helps some to understand suicides effects on everyone they think doon't love them.
It changes us all
But I was once told
Everything happens for a reason.
I dont quite understand why
Im not sure I ever will.
Why some one so loved
And so close to your heart
Would go and hurt you so.
I dont get it
How some one so young
Could feel so unwanted
And do something so stupid.
Its beyond me.
Death is forever
No matter how its done
God himself cant reverse it
And it makes no sense to me.
|08 Jan 2006||non-suicidal||well...i was just browsing the net when i came across this website...actually, thats a lie. i'm pretty pissed at my parents right now. some people say, "oh my god, my parents just don't understand me" but im willing to bet my bank account that they understand you more than you think. however, in my case, i KNOW that they don't understand me. they are just sooooo...gah..there is no word in the english vocabulary to describe them. my dad is getting better...but my mom...holy crap. she is so insensitive, untrusting and selfish. i realize that many people are being beaten by their parents as we speak, so why should i complain if im not being physically abused? well, im not sure. it just seems to me that i have to bottle up all of my emotions...until i end up bursting. which i know will happen soon. oh man, here i am complaining about my parents when there are MUCH bigger problems out there. the thing is, i have friends and siblings who actually LISTEN to me (unlike the parental units), and i have to say that those are the only people who are keeping me going right now. i'll admit, i have had suicidal thoughts at one point in my life (because of my parents, of course)...i mean really, who hasn't?? but what im trying to say is that its not worth it to give others the satisfaction of you killing yourself. if you're all saying that you have no friends, that everyone is turning on you, then why would you do what they EXPECT you to do? i've always hated doing what other people wanted or expected me to do...i would always do the opposite. my parents tell me to clean the table (not ask), and i would simply make it dirtier....even though im a neat freak and i absolutely think dirt is disgusting. wow, im so off topic. im not giving you pity, cause i realize you don't want it. all you want is to be heard, right? thats all i've ever wanted from my parents, for them to listen, trust or love me. but, i honestly don't think thats ever going to happen, so do you know what i do? i MAKE friends who i know will listen to me and help me when im feeling low. i know that its not like you can walk up to a stranger on the street and say, "be my friend" ...of course its not that easy! but keep looking, its worth it when you find at least one friend who you like listening to and who will listen to you no matter what. eek, i write a lot...and i haven't really answered the question. the truth of the matter is, that i have no idea:) im not going to suggest you find god or get over it... just talk about it like you are on this website, and someone will listen. i read a lot of these emails and although i can't exactly sympathize with you, i want to help.|