|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|08 Jan 2006||non-suicidal||well...i was just browsing the net when i came across this website...actually, thats a lie. i'm pretty pissed at my parents right now. some people say, "oh my god, my parents just don't understand me" but im willing to bet my bank account that they understand you more than you think. however, in my case, i KNOW that they don't understand me. they are just sooooo...gah..there is no word in the english vocabulary to describe them. my dad is getting better...but my mom...holy crap. she is so insensitive, untrusting and selfish. i realize that many people are being beaten by their parents as we speak, so why should i complain if im not being physically abused? well, im not sure. it just seems to me that i have to bottle up all of my emotions...until i end up bursting. which i know will happen soon. oh man, here i am complaining about my parents when there are MUCH bigger problems out there. the thing is, i have friends and siblings who actually LISTEN to me (unlike the parental units), and i have to say that those are the only people who are keeping me going right now. i'll admit, i have had suicidal thoughts at one point in my life (because of my parents, of course)...i mean really, who hasn't?? but what im trying to say is that its not worth it to give others the satisfaction of you killing yourself. if you're all saying that you have no friends, that everyone is turning on you, then why would you do what they EXPECT you to do? i've always hated doing what other people wanted or expected me to do...i would always do the opposite. my parents tell me to clean the table (not ask), and i would simply make it dirtier....even though im a neat freak and i absolutely think dirt is disgusting. wow, im so off topic. im not giving you pity, cause i realize you don't want it. all you want is to be heard, right? thats all i've ever wanted from my parents, for them to listen, trust or love me. but, i honestly don't think thats ever going to happen, so do you know what i do? i MAKE friends who i know will listen to me and help me when im feeling low. i know that its not like you can walk up to a stranger on the street and say, "be my friend" ...of course its not that easy! but keep looking, its worth it when you find at least one friend who you like listening to and who will listen to you no matter what. eek, i write a lot...and i haven't really answered the question. the truth of the matter is, that i have no idea:) im not going to suggest you find god or get over it... just talk about it like you are on this website, and someone will listen. i read a lot of these emails and although i can't exactly sympathize with you, i want to help.|
|08 Jan 2006||bronwyn||hey im only 16 and i dont know how old this site is and whether or not anyone reads it or not but id like to help. first off i was once in your positions, only once did i have the guts to actually attempt anything more severe than cutting, but my mother came home early just as i was slipping through the noose. I am atheist so you know that i do not believe, but something must have kept me here. I never got councelling but the tremendous amount of support i got afterwards from my parents helped me. It made me realise that there are people here for me, even if its very few, and i would certainly not want to hurt the only people still holding out for me. i was 12 years old when i did this and i am now 16. I am still young but in those 4 years i have realised it wasnt worth it. Ive pulled through and now things just couldnt get better. To get the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain. Im not going to go into my own details anymore, would just like to let you all know that there is more out there. Hold on. Youre more beautiful than you all think. If you would like to chat about anything, post your email up here and i will add you to msn or drop you an email. Dont be scared to come forward. :) smile|
|05 Jan 2006||Immortality lost||Have you ever had one of those days. No... I suppose you haven't as you don't know what "those days" implies. The fact is, I can't explain it to you. You have to have one of "those days to have the vaugest idea what I'm on about. Sufice it to say that having one of "those days" is a very bad thing, and let's also say that a good portion of my days have been "those days". Now lets say that I'm going to kill myself. You notice I dont say want to kill myself, and in a bit you'll know why.
I have a good life. I have never seen any of my loved ones die, have never been raped, beaten too badly, or bullied. Yet I will kill myself. I will do this because my life will not get better. Oh yes, my surroundings might change, I'll meet new people, have moments of true happiness, and live a normal pathetic little life. But for what. No one will remember me when I'm gone. Any good I've done will be undone by more bad. I have no delusions of changing the world.
I see so much beaty everywhere, and I see a pattern to things. This world is a wonderful place to be, and I don't want to leave it. But I will. Because as much as I want to live, I know I wont. I will be alive, but I won't live. Everything good that will happen to me, I'll ruin. I'll just keep finding ways to make myself miserable, untill I won't see the beauty in anything anymore. I'm sorry that I have to die. But I DO have to. And that is it. And that is all.
|05 Jan 2006||Kathrine||when i was 12 i was raped. this was my most horrifing day i was walking home from school when my best friend's boyfriend's car pulled over next to me.him and his brother offered me a ride home. and me being an idiot said sure. i got into the car and they started driving. then they pulled over at a vacant lot. then my friend's boyfriend's brother got out and opened my door and made me come out. then he told me to go into the abondaned buliding in the lot. i started to sense what was about to happpen so i started running away but he pulled out a gun and treatened to shoot me if i didn't stop. he came towards me and pulled me fromthe hair into the building. when we were inside he demanded for me to take my clothes off but i wouldn't do it. so he started beating me. i was close to passing out but i stayed strong and he started to take my cloths off then he started to kiss me and then started touching me you probably know what happened next. i was so disscusted i started to cry.after he stopped i layed there frozen for a while then he told me to put my clothes on and he threatend me that if i told anyone about what happened he would hurt me once more.he finally started taking me home he left me at the corner. that night i cut my wrists but my mom came in when she heard me scream.i was taken to the hospital immidiatly. weeks later i didn't feel well and started throwing up. i fainted and iwoke up in the hospital the next day. i found out i was pregnant. i still wish i could of killed my self!|
|04 Jan 2006||marco||Hi i would just like to say im 26 ive been smoking heroin since the age of 16 my dad used to kick me so hard blood would poor from my mouth my uncle lived with us who would try and stick up for us but he was much younger than my dad so he got the same as us so ill start from the age of 10 had so many kickings my eyes could and still do not focas on things mum took me away from my dad at 11 turned in to a motocross theif took them home ringed them stamped them sold them some we kept one day we was racing and my friend had a accident where some wire on the pitch hit him he died instantly he was 23 he had 2 kids and one on the way kept getting locked up mum had no money and i had to provide christmas day we ate bean toasties by now im 13 we stole a car went joy riding police came up beind us we did one my friend lost it round a bend the car toppled over and over everyone in the car bar me died i felt id cheated them horrible feeling we were in it together so in total at 13 id lost 5 friends and didnt think i deserved to live got a girl at 14 who was unlike the rest she was 23 and i realy fell for her on my 15th birthday she got run over and killed on her way getting me a guitar from then i knew i had to die coz every one i had was dead but i kept on met new friends at 16 got offerd heroin i used to hate heroin addicts used to shout to them bag head smack head then the table turned i confided in my uncle who i mentioned earlier im 26 now still smoking heroin trying to kick the habbit but its hard last year my uncle who was there for me tryed to cut his wrists i went to see him in hospital give him the normal lecture tryed to talk sense in to him and told him i loved him for the first time in my life i said you have 4 brilliant kids come on try fight it a week later he did something what i wont say coz i dont wanna give anyone any ideas but he did something what gave him multiple injuries on the way to the hospital he was saying sorry to the ambulance men and at hospital saying sorry to the nurses for bothering them he diead 10 minutes later see he lost his mum and dad and couldnt handle the pain so he ended it but what the fuck about us now we are in pain even though you dont see these paople every day dont mean they dont care i still want to die but my mum is it far on her but then is it fare on me living in hell coz i dont wanna hurt her and the answer is yes no mother should have to bury there child everyone feeling suicidle dont let the shitty world win you control it dont let it control you you decide your own destiny and fuck all the shit what you get theres paople who need you all even people you havent met yet even auntie dorris who you never see but sends you a card at christmas theres people who are left beind who carnt carry on without you my uncle has caused so much hurt and pain i loved him to bits but what he did was wrong we was there but we didnt show it and thats something we have to live with for ever i only told him i loved him when he was in hospital well maybe he needed to know before that and not just off me of everyone who knew him people just get so wrapped up in there own lives they dont seem to give a shit about ours but when they lose you,youve killed them too please people wake up and live life is one big road with lots of signsso when you contomplate death focass on your life love to yoyu all jj|
|04 Jan 2006||Paul||killing yourself is never the answer, so many people get hurt, i went through sever depression a nwmber of years ago because i was bullies at work, i bough my own grave a was setting my affairs in order, life was so dark and empty as if i was all along even though i knew i had people who cared for me and loved me. I am a christian and tought why is my father in heaven alowing me to go through this? In the end i thought about the people i would leave behind, my wife and children, and others. I called that time the night of the dark soul even thought it was 3 years, i was also afraid i would end up in hell, although i dont know if i would have or not, (I do believe in Hell)and if that was the case my problems would have been like a party if i'd had done it and gone there. This is somthing to think very long and hard about, if you do take your own life you will go out of time and into eternity, but where will you be? In heaven with God or in total darkness, depressed for ever with no way out. Dont kid yourself Hell is real and there are many people who are there right now who wish the never toke there own lives and if they could talk to you right now for even 10 seconds they would tell you the same. Please take this as a warning and a help God loves you and will listen to your problems, help your needs and lift you out of this if you talk to him, he is there and will prove it if you ask him. Dont listne to people giving advice on how to kill yourselves they are cowards and liars, they are the ones who dont care.|
|01 Jan 2006||ryan johnson||are there any forums like this in more of a debate style? philosophically, i have overwhelming evidence to say that life is an incidental, random, and pointless phenomenon. it's not necesarilly harmful, but inconsequential. i saw this, and it seems irrefutable, and this is the most obvious reason i have to end it. this all stemmed from the question " what's so important about being happy?"
to say that life is just the most valuable thing and offer no evidence doesn't really help people, unless they are dim, in which case their death would benefit everyone else's lives
let's see, list of my personal issues with death : when i was about 8-9 i remember thinking a lot about if i disappeared or had never been born, and sometimes i would think about starting a sink and hitting my head on the faucet. for some reason i thought i could just hurt my abdomen, and would try my hardest to squeeze some vital organs (mostly my liver because i could feel it), and usually just hoping i wouldn't wake up every now and then. later, i just decided to think about the entire existence i was leading, and questioning happiness as a motivation kind of unraveled things for me. at 13 i brought a knife to school and tried to cut my wrists, but having no experience or knowledge i gave up. on and off i would try to cut my wrists or strangle myself, but not until about feb of '05 did i do any internet research. now my best bet tieing a belt around my neck, and around a flashlight, and twisting the flashlight until i either cut off a lot of vein flow or can't breathe, depending on what the belt is pressing on. i'm no good at cutting, but i know there's an artery next the the blood donating vein, that's just under the surface, and next to some nerve or tendon. it is a major artery and will kill in under an hour, but i can't bring myself past light scratches.
so, i repeat my question, are there any debates about this, other than the internal struggles in every human worldwide? i'm sick of cop out "life is precious" or "it will all get better" answers, because this is amateur and damaging advice. if you're going to off yourself, do the research and play to your strengths. if your parents have vast amounts of medications, find out the ld50 and take it. no more half attempts for the fashionably miserable, who need the attention in our overpopulated world - leave suicide to the pros.
|01 Jan 2006||Gennie||i went thru alot of bull crap, when I was 13 and it really sucked. I always thought I'll be ok and live my life like I'll die that day..haven't happend, yet. Now, that I'm 25 and I'm going thru more shit then ever....I dont know, anymore. I'm lost and confused about life. Getting married didnt helped either...made it more worse. Why the fuck did I get married?? well..stupid of me, thought it will be better. I should stop thinking about my future, because I'm making it worse everyday...and it's probably, why I'm here in fucking NEW YEAR DAY to talk about it. Surviving sux and killing yourself sux....I guess, I'm just a coward, eh? *probably* I'm not sure anymore....................and I'm getting tired. Tell me something I dont know and I dont need to hear from freaking 17 yrs old kid, life is valuable. Trust me kiddies, I've been to hell and came back. You have no idea, what I've been thru, and your are too young to give me any advice.|
|31 Dec 2005||Just A Person||at least 50% of people are capricious, selfish, ruthless, ignorant, cruel or aggressive and aren't worth the time of day.
45% range from pretty awful to so-so.
3% are not bad.
2% are caring, decent and intelligent.
we live in a world where spiritual values are seen as pointless and most ppl just want to grab what they can for themselves and don't care whose body they trample on in order to lift themselves up. If people minded their buisness then their wouldnt
be so much hate in this world
look guys this is the world we live in if we were all the same in life it would be boring..
hmm... if you hate everyone so much that you wish they didn't exist, why are you spending your time reaching out to tell us all about it? Get a cat... that's what I did (dogs are good too). He's the best friend I've ever had. I just tell him what I think of humanity, and then we drop the subject (he never has much to say) and go for a nice long walk. Maybe I'm a little crazy, but hey... I'd be a lot crazier and a lot less happy if it weren't for my cat.
|30 Dec 2005||Ashlee||When I was 15 I took a bootle of anti-deperessent just to see what would happen. I pssed out in the tub and wake the next morning in a psych hosptial for attempted suicide. I don't think I can die. i've tried to many times with the same results. I mean hell I stepped in front of a car, got up and walked off as if nothing happened.|
|30 Dec 2005||Ashley||I wrote in a story of what had happened to me in hopes that some one would read it and stop to think about what they wanted to do. I am highly offended that you would think that I was suggesting ways to kill yourself. I wathed my girlfriend die and I live with that image everyday. Not only do I live with this horrid image, but I also live with the regret I have from trying to take my life too. Every time I think of her, I feel let down and hurt and sad and angry... I get angry with her and I know I schouldn't. I get angry with myself for being angry with her. I know why she did it, and I know it wasn't right. The last thing I saw in her eyes was regret. Regret that she was hurting me, that she was taking her life... AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ACCUSE ME OF SUGGESTING THAT SOMEONE HANG THEMSELF?!!! My girlfriend wasn't the only person I lost to suicide. My boyfriend hung himself because of his father. Suicide hurts everyone INCLUDING THOSE YOU LOVE, not just the ones you want to hurt. THAT WAS THE POINT I WAS MAKING!!!!|
|28 Dec 2005||Ashley||I am 17 and I have tried to kill myself on numerous occassions since my girlfriend hung herslf infront of me. I have scars on my wrists and and on my back from where I cut---no, slashed, myself an innumerable amount of times. I've tried drugs and pills from my mom's work bag, she's an EMT. I've tried just about everything except hanging myself. I watched my girlfriend hang herself at a party one night when I was about 14 or 15. We were on the deck and it had a roof that went about half way over it. We were drunk and she had been depressed for a really long time. We were making out when she pulled away and said, "fuck this, all of it, I love you babe, but I can't deal with my life anymore." Her father used to beat her and he had beaten her pretty hard the day before...she had cuts on her face from being thrown into the wall and her arm looked like he had tried to break it again...she was full of bruises, but to me she was as beautiful as ever...she always faught back against him. She always got out alive, she always came back to me so I could hold her. I tried to stop her, but she oush me off of her. I tried to get the rope off her neck,but slapped me and punched me...she was a strong fighter. I tried to get help as she was tieing the rope to the roof rail, but no one listened. I tried to get her down, but I couldn't get theknot undone. I tried to sit her on my shoulders so she could breathe, but she kicked me till I fell. I tried to save her, but I couldn't. I picked up a piece of glass from the broken window she had kicked me into and tried to cut the rope, but it was too late and the rope slipped and cut my wrist alittle. I remember it didn't hurt, nothing hurt after not being able to save her. I took the glass and started cut my wrists anyway I could...that's when everyone inside realized something was wrong...my boyfriend makes me cover my scars on my wrists when we have sex now, but he doesn't know that I keep my arms covered for a different reason.|
|28 Dec 2005||Harlan||When I was 13, I was very depressed. I was hearing voices in my head telling me to kill myself, I called them rage. They ate away at me and were always teasing and taunting. I thought I had nothing to live for, but I was wrong. Suicide sounds like a great way to end your suffering, but in reality you must be alive in order to feel relief. Don't just end your life and give into the pain, suffering is a part of life no matter how intense the suffering may be.|
|28 Dec 2005||6,995 days old.||I often wonder whether I will die old or young.
Right now, I'm thinking probaly 60% chance I'll die early, 40% I'll make it in the land of the living.
What will be hardest is that I know I have so much potential. I could be weathly, and have a successful career. I would make a good father. I could leave my old life behind. But somehow, I don't feel it was meant to be. Everything in life that really mattered to me was always a 'nearly'. As in, I tried so hard, but the things that really mattered to me were always out of reach. And it's happened so many times, over and over again. For the past 9 years. Solid.
So: I've given up; because that's the only thing left for me, that I can do. I don't have the energy to keep going. Not with my family being such a bunch of useless lemons.
There's no doubt about it: the easiest way out for me is to stop living. Not work through my fucking problems. Fuck that. I tried that for most of my life, and it got me no-where. So fuck the councilors, and fuck all the judgemental middle class people with their nice lives, who don't know shit what it feels like to have nothing. And all the judgemental people for that matter. Because most of them don't know the true meaning of pain. Don't tell me I live in a rich country. I don't care. Don't tell me I'm privalaged, I'm not interested. Don't tell me that you think I should buck up my ideas, I'll stab you in the fucking heart. Hows that for an idea.
I'm trying. I am. I really am. I trying REAL HARD to be someone better. But I don't have one single person in the real world who wants to help. Don't we, each other, matter more than money, or media, or politics?!? Isn't honour what matters more than ruling the f***ing world? Do people have to get so greedy, and power hungry? It's just sick.
I think it would be better if instead of greed, and power, people spent their time on love, and compassion. How many millionaires do you know who have said: "right, I don't need $700million to live on, so I'll give $695million away tomorrow." Why can't they?? Huh? Greed? Oh yeah, thought so. Do they care about the millions of people who don't have jack to live on? No, didn't think so. Fuck Bill Gates, fuck Rupert Murdoch, screw them all. Glutony is a sin. It says it, not only in the bible, BUT IN THE 10 FUCKING COMMANDMENTS. How can they ignore it!? And these people go to church!? And the very same types of people tell us that we should be giving OUR money to charity! God save us.
|28 Dec 2005||helper||i have seen the doctor and i am much better now!
people talk to your doctor please it will help alot.
my doctor helped me alot.
|27 Dec 2005||A.S.S.||Hi .. Cool site .. I met my girlfriend here .. Thank you .. She's fuckin' great .. I never thought that would happen when I wrote her .. But everything worked out super .. She's here right now .. Flew all the way to Belgium for me .. Ain't that crazy ? .. Makes me feel super happy .. I came here looking through stuff wondering how I could kill myself .. 'cause that was a hudge problem to me .. And then I found her message .. So that's a good thing about this site .. Go e-mail eachother people .. Haha .. So you will meet someone for you .. :p Haha ..|
|26 Dec 2005||Shhhhh...||WEll all i can tell all of u is im 12 turnin 13 soon and its weird but its like everytime something bad happens it just makes me want to die even more but i knoe that its not the answer first of all music even if u dont notice it it makes u think ur life is shit even though music is my life i love listening to it and singing i dont knoe im only 12 right now and i have alot of time ahead of me to see whats out there my dad doesnt live in america so i barely see him me and my mom used to fight every day and i always thought maybe if i die her life will be easier and she can be happy and then i realized she would kill herself thats the same thing i would do if she died all i can tell u is try to talk to someone i knoe the pain trust me but i reached out for help and made it through so can u but sometimes i still think about it ive decided to wait a couple more years to see if my life would remain like this and if it improves i guess i haev something to live for if it doesnt im not gonna stay in this shit whole sometime the only way to get people to care and learn to care for others is suicide ive been on this site last year i think ya well anyways please listen to me people wait it out wait till u move out of ur parents house and then if its still shit do watever u want but member u can always try to find one person who will be there for u im tired of this shit cus i have alot of friends but none of them are truly in my heart there was this one gurl butnow she doesnt even talk with me but watever im just gonna wait till i get older get myself a bf and see how its goes and if i decide taht ima go through with suicide ill loose my virginity to him and then kill myself so lets see if i make it through but im sure all of us can|
|25 Dec 2005||Jo Coffee Spoon||Hang around and wait.
At 14 Fuck to be liked by the boys, liking to be fucked comes much later.
Develop bulimia at 15.
Run away from the friends who come to hate you and vice versa at 16. Hook up with a blond beggar outside Burger King in Bristol. Within the hour let him take you back to his car park squat, fuck and sodomise you violently. Love and hate the piece of shit in equal measures. Break your heart when the selfish cunt dies of a heroin overdose in the October of that year.
Spend the Xmas of your 18th year away from home. Hook up with a bloke same age as your Mum who turns out to be alcoholic, sadistic and brutal, ends up trying to kill you by turning your arm at a funny angle, cutting off your air supply with your own elbow. That's when the panic attacks kick in.
Get rescued by an emotionally retarded comtrol freak porn addict. Develop night terrors, kick him til he bruises black and blue.
Not deal with any of it. Get high on drink and drugs every weekend from now til age 70, and fantastise about suicide on every come down. But at the end of the day you're too chickenshit - scared to live and scared to die. Not quite the suicide kit you were looking for, but all the ingredients for a life only half lived and a huge therapy bill.
|22 Dec 2005||alice||im 14 now but from bout the age o f ten i was sssssssooooooooo depressed i didnt no mi dad and mi mum got remarried!not noin ya dad is hard i was allways wonderin who he was and wat life he lived,in about easter time i contacted his solicitor to find him !(i hated myself 4 doin it 2 my mum)but my mum and me dnt get on theres no talkin bettween us i cook my own food buy my own clothes so i4t i had a rite to know!!wen my mum found out she went mad and musta hit me bout 100 times ND I COULDNT TAKE IT I HIT HER BACK knocked her out and ran away for 3 days i wished id of neva dun it!she now understands my hurt and pain i had id often starve myself to feel betta or cut myself wat else could i do!my mum is my best m8 now i love her soooo much neva give up hope make em realise how much theired miss you!xxx|
|19 Dec 2005||.laurin||well i dont really no much about the most effective or ineffective way of qactually doint it. but i do kno the way i feel and the reasons i would like to end my life. some people that would meet me and say ooh she just the goodie two shoes girl with the laugh that ist heard throughout the halls, but what they dont know is behind that smiling face n the blond hair and blue eyes. its a girl that live day to day w an emptyness that she trys to cover up. she has hatred and pain buring in a furry inside her and doesnt know what to do or how to deal with it. most people think she has the perfect life and she has nothing to worry about that i am just making a mt. out of a mole hill but wht do they kno. i have no one to talk to about it. my life story:my mother was 18 when she had me i was 2&a half mths early i almost died but for some reason i was kept alive (now i wish i wsant) my mother went on to go to skool and my father 25 at the time just started his own business so if u couldnt tell i was at the bottom of the list. i spent most of my younger years with my great grandmother whom i love deeply and wish she was still with me today. even as a young girl i had problems my mother would never b home so i would sleep my the door to our apartment waithing for her and when her and my father were home i spent all the time i could w them cuz i always thought they were going to leave they also fought alot and i lways blamed myself and wished i could just go away and there life would be fine. well the day came and they were no longer together and my mother and i moved with my grandparents which i enjoyed but it was hard and i blamed myself for my parents not working out and always wished i could do somethin to get them back 2gether but my mom went on to get remarried and thats what everythin changed.we moved an hour away from the rest of my family and friends i was in 4th grade and i was very dipresed and i guess u cold say ate my feelings so not only was i new but i was fat and was shy and bullied by another girl at skool at called names and it was the same at home w my mom she alwasy caled me fat and wished i was skinny like i used to b which didnt help anythin. then to top it off even if i made friends i was never around to spend time w them b/c i was always w my dad every weekend. then it got a little better my dad was never there for any of my activities and when i was w him he was always working on cars usually n i was stuck w all these older people(not much time to b a kid)nd i cleaned and cook since i was 7 for him. when id get home my mother would bash me about my dad n blah blah...well the years went on and my mother made me join curves a weight loss pace for women where i did lose alot of weight which made me feel better but was never enough for her or me and i just couldnt lose enough but it did get better and i went on to highschool were things got better but not w/o my mom puttin me down say dont b suprised if no guys are intrested in u blah blah i mean im not sayin in hot r anything but i was 115 5'4" blue eyes and real blond hair so i wouldnt say i was ugly but she sure made me feel that way.then i did meet a guy n fell inlove i kno ur prob thinkin u dont kno what love is but at the time i didnt, now i do.my live was good really goood i had some one that cared for me the way i was n like me for me well i went on to skrew tht up b/c i was getin the attention i always wanted. and from there on it been down hill and now at the age of 16 its an all time low i just dont kno what do do w myself my father and i have since lost contact and my mom n stepdad care not about anthin but my 4 yr. old sis and my mom blames me fo all the bad n her life n think calls me trash n wish she would have aborted me when she had the chance n im not good enough to b in her family there friends dont even kno who i am unless theve been friends along time and ive had ppl ask if i was the nanny, i mean im not the best daughter in the world but im far from the worse yes i fight w my mom what teen doesnt n yes i go out w my friends and ive made mistakes who hasnt but ive learned from it u kno ...but kno my mother doesnt think that she calls me names yells at me punches me but she makes sure it not hard enough to make marks or if it does its ova the weekend but its mostly verbal i almost wish i was physical b/c atleast people but believe me b/c my mother used to b different and nice around others and everyone loved my mom said shes "so nice n young and cool" yeah really dot kno her behinde closed doors.and i go to skool day after day wearin this mask tht everythings ok laughin that laugh that everybody loves (so they say). and now i just cant take it anymore the pain is to great to deal w it just needs to end my life everythin and at the moment i dont c a better way and i know many are thinkin she doesnt have it bad but if u only knew.. i would love to do anythin i could for anyone except my mom that is to make their life easier.well thanx u for taking the time to read..sorry for wasting your time..xoxo|