Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
12 Oct 2006	Erik	Hey A.L. I read about half the posts on this site during the past couple of hours but yours stood out to me. I am a 35-year-old white male whose life has sucked for the last 20 years. No, it never did "get better" as people told me it would when I was a teen-ager. I can't commit suicide because it would destroy the rest of my parents' lives. I always say to myself "no one deserves to live like this, not even a murderer", so certainly my parents don't. But that's what my suicide would do to them. So it's just living in this "Hellhole of a life", as A.L. put it, day after day, year after year. There's no other choice. The most twisted, ironic part of life for me is when someone tries to counsel me by saying "life is a gift". Heh, ain't that a kick in the arse! Who would want this gift? Another funny "joke on us" that is quite similar is in Christian scripture; it says if you ask your father for a piece of bread, will he give you a scorpion instead? (If that's not exactly right, the sentiment is still correct.) Well it's funny, my dad certainly would not hand me a scorpion, but that's what I got out of life! Another funny one that preachers tell is that "Jesus came to give us life in abundance". Yes! More please! Have you read all these posts? Yes, what we really all want is more of THIS. Something else that is funny: Dying quickly by jumping off a tall building is "selfish" but dying slowly, a little each day, during the course of 20 or 30 years, living a completely pointless, frustrating and miserable life, is acceptable and even honorable! Hey, and don't you just love those preachers who say "God wrote The Bible", or, "The Bible is God's letter to you." Heh. They are hilarious. Well, my dog wrote "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater". You want to hear something even more hilarious? Once I was so desperate that I . . . Nope, no razor blade . . . Nope, no noose . . . Nope, no bottle of painkillers . . . Nope, not even my handgun . . . I was so desperate, I actually started giving money to one of those televangelists! Yes, it's true! I actually gave that son of a bitch more than $300 before I wised up. Now I can't even pay my rent! I have to borrow money from my parents to pay my rent! Talk about being a loser. The girls are all over my broke ass. Speaking of televangelists, they suck! Here is some news to some of you: human beings, imperfect just like you and me, wrote every book, including The Bible. Don't let some jerkoff tell you that if you pray for something and "believe" with all your might that it will happen for you. Odds are, it won't. The problem is, enough people will get lucky and then tell you about how their prayers were answered ("Oh God has blessed me SO MUCH") and it will just confuse you and make you wonder what you are doing wrong. (Why, you are sinning, of course! You idiot!) Do you know what it really means to "believe"? It means to take heed of a warning or follow some advice. For example, if someone says, don't walk on the subway rails or you'll be electrocuted, and you are a "believer", you won't walk on them. You won't need proof, you just won't walk on them for fear of being electrocuted. It's not some mental exercise, so stop "wishing" thinking that if you wish hard enough things will change. They probably won't. Here is something interesting. Have you ever read in the Christian scriptures about Jesus being "tempted in the woods"? Do you know what the writer meant when he said that "Satan" tempted Jesus by encouraging Jesus to hurl himself off a cliff? Bingo! It meant that the hero of the story was tempted with the very same horrible crap that is dragging us all down -- thoughts of ending the suffering of self. But trust me, there is no way of getting around the problem of hurting others with your suicide (I have studied on it a right good while), so it just won't work. We're stuck here in this "Hellhole of a life", as A.L. put it, and that's just the way it is. (The good news is, you don't have to worry about going to Hell, you're already here!) I guess, maybe, if your entire family and all your friends, if you all committed suicide together, and didn't leave anyone behind to suffer for it, then maybe it would work. But how can that work? There is always some friend somewhere who is going to be left out and left with the sadness that he or she doesn't deserve. So then what is left for us to do as we suffer through this crap-o-rama in this sewer we call Earth? Did you ever see the film "Sling Blade" with Billy Bob Thornton? Well there is a scene where Billy Bob's character (an ex-mental patient and killer) is discussing with his new friend (a boy of maybe 10 or 12) the experience he once had of witnessing the body of an aborted baby (it may even have been his little brother). And he said of the girl who destroyed the baby, "She ought not to have done that. He woulda had fun sometimes." There is your answer. Fun. Try to save up enough money (or time or whatever resource it takes) so that you can go and have fun sometimes. Whenever you have fun you can almost escape for a few moments. I'm not saying that I agree with Billy Bob's character that a few moments of fun make a lifetime of hell worth it. But since we're already here, it's different for us. Good luck A.L. Erik
10 Oct 2006	CiCi	Like many of you on this site, I have too thought about suicide. About 5 years ago, I felt that I had nothing to live for. My father had just went to prison and me and my mother were staying in an apartment were she was struggling to pay all the bills. In school I was constantly picked at because of my looks and had no real friends because they too would pick at me. I absolutely hated life and everything about it. These feeling started to fade away when I got to high school and started getting attention from boys. But I found out that all most of them wanted was to use me for sex. Three years later and life is becoming what it use to be like. Whenever I feel suicidial, I just stop and think of the many things I can do in the future. I think of how my death would inpact my family and I wouldn't want to put all that stress on them and make their lives more miserable. I'm attending college next year and have decided to become a changed person. I don't have to live my life the way it use to be or think about it. I'm only 19 now, but I know for a fact that if you are under 13, then you need to live a little longer to find out if this is what you really want to do. Just think of the many people your death will impact. Good Luck
06 Oct 2006	Currently_Nameless	This Is my One year anniversary on this site....And I know some of you people would deem that "Pathetic" But, I feel some sort of accomplishment in it.....Seeing how I've made it another year in my life, So, No matter how many people say this site is sick, It's been REALLY helpful to me.
04 Oct 2006	A.L.	I play devil's advacate on this subject. I am a 23 black female attending a promiant university yet every night I cry myself to sleep and every morning I wake up disappointed to be alive.I really HATE life there is no HOPE for my future.I am never happy I just have moments of happy. Over my 23 years I have attempted suicide 4 times (2 by pills, 1 slitting my wrists ,1 getting hit by a car on my bike)and have been hospitalized 4 times yet instead of getting help the doctors pump you with medication which makes you crazier than you originally were. I wanted to die all those times but on one hand too afraid of the unknown of being dead.To me this is Hell on earth but what if it gets worse and not better by killing myself? I want someone to kill me so I can't be blamed for anything but I can get out of this Hellhole of a life.What really happens when we die? Remember once it's done there is no changing your mind. Anyway I just wanted to share my thoughts.
04 Oct 2006	Lb	Killing your self would be horrible. There are many ways to seek helo for thing that are killing you inside. My best friend just commited suicide 6 days ago. And that alone is killing me inside .. I thought about even commiting it myself. But to see how it affects your family members and your friends,...its just horrible. Now i live in pain everyday not knowing why and how this probley will never go away and its all because he killed himself so think twice
04 Oct 2006	david	i've posted on here once before. 11 april 2006.at the time, i had several suicide attempts behind me. i said in that post about how the only reason i could think of for living was hate. i got an email from that posting.and the advice really helped. i've sat both sides of the fence. im not going to tell you not to do it, because for all i know your life really isnt worth living, and i know what it's like to want to kill yourself. all i'm going to say is try to get help. turn to religion, the samaritans, your friends, whoever. just be sure you've tried everything, absolutly everything, before you resort to suicide. it should be an absolute last resort.
02 Oct 2006	joy	At age 13, you don't really know what you are missing out on. dont let the intense emotions that you are feeling now stop you from experiencing all of lifes joys. when i was 13, i failed. at 14 i failed, and now at age 32, i have a wonderful life and two beautiful children. remember that you are going through things and the main word is through. you will find love and happiness and find the wonderful thing that makes you special and unique. someone will complete adore that part of you.
26 Sep 2006	Jacob	This is for the dickhead named stay alive. Threatening us with the fear of the afterlife is no way to stop someone from committing suicide. Don't you think we're fucked up enough already... feeling that there is no way out.... Then you try to scare us MORE by telling us that the afterlife is worse... well FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is real... death might be the only way to escape and get some peace and some rest. I'm not 13.. in fact I'm a father, and i am in the situation where I am losing my baby girl (who for the record is the only thing that has ever been worth living for). I am a failed father and I have sacrificed my life for my child.. now I have nothing, I'm old... and alone. There is no point carrying on... there is only hard work and heartbreak ahead. I need to know that I will live in peace when I die. The alternative is just too much to think about. And in regards to your comments about starving people in India... yes people live in poverty, in some terrible circumstances.... but suicide exists in all countries & in all cultures... these people are also killing themselves (and eachother). They have fewer means to do it, fewer options... and are less educated about it. But if you have a loving family who take care of you.. that's enough to survive even the toughest hardships... I know because I have lived in many countries like this.. and was starving myself. One thing I do know is that you cannot really understand the world until you are about 23.... therefore you should not take your own life until you have lived away from your parents, made your own decisions... and had a crack at life for yourself. I know how hard & lonely it can be in that prison called your bedroom... the fear... the lonliness... the confusion... that will pass when you are old enough to leave home. I myself am obviously considering suicide.... the thought of starting my life again now, with my broken & devastated heart... and old body is just too much.. I can't do it. I wish I could go home to my parents and cry in their arms and be taken care of... but I can't... I'm alone. I am also prepared to listen to any of you kids who are thinking about suicide.. just send me an email...
25 Sep 2006	Jay	To all of you who has disorders, low self esteem and other bugs in their heads. I want to share my experience with you all so you know that there is way out. English isn't my first language so please give me a break on my grammar. I was born in Ukraine and that is one shitty place i can tell you. I had to attend boarding school because of my step father situation. Did my four years there. Yahoo! :( I came to Canada in 1999 with my parents... All this "No money", "No language", "No job" situation drove me to the point where life has not much of the meaning anymore... I was very very sad guy. No interest in life, no friends, suicide thoughts... I woke up one blue morning and looked in the mirror. I saw 220 pounds ugly guy who lives in fucked up family situation. I hate my step father! I hate the way I look. I said to my self " I NEED WAY OUT" there should be an option. So found one. I started collecting on welfare so i could move out. I developed anorexia so i can loose weight... I used MDMA drug ( Ecstasy ) to raise my serotonin level. A year later I was HAPPIEST guy in the world. I lost 60 pounds. I was independent. I found OK job. Drugs kept me happy. I started getting interest from girls allot. My happiness continued for another year or so... Then everything crashed. I had liver problems, wasn't able to sleep, my weight was 150 pounds ( 6'1" Tall). My eating disorder escalated to the level that one day I was so weak that i couldn't stand up from my bed in the morning. I spent that week at home. I starved my self to the point that i had hallucinations. I literally almost died from starvation. My mother found me in this condition after she couldn't reach me for a while. My mothers opinion meant nothing to me and she knew that. What did I achieved for the past 2 years. Sick, skinny, lonely and ugly again. I rolled back to where I was but with health issues now. One day I've met a person who I became friends with. He didn't care about my conditions and never mentioned or asked about abnormalities he witnessed during the time we spent together. We were talking about different thing including business opportunities and he complimented on several of my ideas. One day he offered me to join in the company he started. This was the first person in my life who was ready to trust me. I couldn't be live it. I want to implement your ideas in life He said. Can you imagine how it sounded to low self esteem person who scared of his own mirror reflection. Some people who knew about my condition approached my new business partner and warned him. I believe in him he replied to everybody. SOME ONE BELIEVED IN ME!!! One year later (2005) business started to pick up. We were attending gym together on a regular basis, I've met my fiance and I bought my first apartment. I'm 27 yo now. I'm happy successful guy still with few bugs in my head. My friend is like family now. My fiance supportive and understanding. I look good and I feel good. Trying to stay healthy and taking good care of my self. I'm not completely cured yet. I still have mood swings and minor disorders but I'm a happy guy now. I didn't fix my parents situation. God be with them I just let it go... What I'm trying to tell you is that life can turn around, it can become great and full of new feelings and achievements. You are all good people! You know pain you know hate. You know dark, let light to enter your life. Open up give others the chance to get to know you. Find your hidden talents. Acknowledge your minuses, get rid of all negativity in your life. Do what ever it takes but please please don't harm your self. You can't fix everything but you can improve allot! Believe in your self, believe in others. You HAVE friends just give THEM a chance to call you a FRIEND. It can be a parent, brother or school friend. People who care about you - are out there and they love you allot. And I love you too and wish you the best.
22 Sep 2006	Francio	There's no point to sucide, not to me anyway. Sure I almost killed myself, but now I just don't see the point. And no, my life isn't great now; I just stopped caring. I'm probably a little crazy now, but not the "harmful to society" type of crazy--just the silent kind. My story? Eh, doesn't really matter. No one really cares, and that doesn't bother me. All I know is, I'm not here to uplift you, or tell you what to do or not to do. Hell I dont know why im even posting, I was actually doing a search on lyrics and this site came up for some reason. Back to the point, the one im not sure im trying to make: well, I'm not going to give up my life. Being me, I'd rather just sacrifice my life to someone; to something; give my life to a cause; a puprose; I dont know. I'm not lying when I say I hate almost everyone, even my own "friends," or rather just acquantences. Oh yeah I forgot, I have no friends. Short story: gave it all up for a chick who wouldn't give anything for anyone. Hope she dies. Half the things I say don't make sense, but I guess I'm not a very rational person so it doesn't really matter. Intepret this anyway you want: dont kill yourself, kill the pain.
22 Sep 2006	Sangvina	Well, I tried to commit suicide by overdosing three days ago. I was desperate, miserable and depressed. I was just a wraith...My mates saved my life, even though I didn' t want to be found. It was that damn coincidence...otherwise I' d have been death by this time. But when I talked to psychologist and my parents, I realized how stupid I had been. I dunno what I wanted to tell by this story, maybe just get rid of that bad part of my life... Be strong and remember : NEVER try to overdose yourself by paracetamol - It takes a lot of time to be effective and earlier or later you ' ll be found by someone, still alive.
19 Sep 2006	ImsuchanEmo	There is no best way to kill yourself..Why? Because if there was then it would be part of nature it would common sense...but neway I'm here to tell you my personal experience please read cause im not gonna judge u or tell u its completely wrong because then i wouldnt be respecting peoples opinions. When I was 14 I attempted suicide for the third time and landed in the hospital. This resulted in so far 2 years of friggin unnecessary therapy bcuz now they think im psycho. Im always asked if im thinking about something (suicide they mean). But im not suicidal anymore in fact i feel better now. I noe pain is something u dnt wanna feel bcuz wen ur suicidal u dnt wanna feel nethin bcuz pain seems to be the only thing there and its nagging and u feel hopeless.but wut we dnt stop to think is that we're feeling bad for ourselves. we're feeling sorry for ourselves. And I dnt think we should b like dat. Yes the whole world might hate us and we might not b loved by people but first we need to love ourselves bcuz b4 nethin is us. we need to take care of ourselves b4 we think of gettin into a relationship for those who think a bf or gf is the solution its not trust me..the guy i "fell in love" with screwed me over and took advantage of me.. told me he loved me wen he didnt and he took my virginity away bcuz i trusted him bcuz i thought he cared..he just took advantage of my situation and made it seem like he was the only good thing going in my life..now it hurts me being so stupid like dat and it taught me a huge a lesson. I also wanna tell u guys that dnt always trust therapists or adult ppl..they'll go and tell sum1 that ur suicdal and u'll b stuck in the psych ward for God knows how long..trust me ive been there..they keep u in the psych ward they drug u to "numb" the pain wen theyre not doing nethin and they get more money out of u being there that long. if u dnt trust ne1 if u dnt have ne1 like my mother never did ( she was an abused child by her family) then take on a new hobbie like writing or drawning or photography bcuz wen u see ur pain on paper it feels so much better bcuz u read it and its just soo good..and yes i noe pain takes a long time to heal im sayin it cuz im living it rite now..my brother was raped for a yr by a "close friend" and a guy i considered to b my brother and u could possibly imagine the pain i felt wen my brother told me " u think u have bad but u dnt even noe" and then he told me the rest. it gets me angry and i cry bcuz its so horrible to imagine them raping my lil brother wen he was 8 years old so sometimes i have murder on my mind...u just have to give pain time and u also have to help urself..always remember yourself b4 anyone..and if u wanna noe wut i did to be better well i started going to a christian church and i fell in love with God..trust me God does do miracles even if u dnt believe..and its not completely a matter of fate many people have personal experiences like my mom.. i almost my mom 5 years ago she died during the surgery but ws revived after 2 mins and i thank God for that everyday... if u wanna noe da rest of the story or talk to me about absolutely nethin trust me i wnt judge u cuz thats not the way and im no one to judge ne1 bcuz im not perfect either so email me at yayyitzme@aim.com or instant message me at yayyitzme (aim) or ksexynena1023 youre never always alone u just have to look for sum1 God bless u and i hope u do start believing in urself to whoever here is planning suicide...
14 Sep 2006	Nikkie	well.... when i was younger i used to look in the mirror an see nothing, feel nothing and everyday i thought, why the hell am i really here, people used to put me down and everyday i would sit there with a blade to my wrists... but i couldnt do it.. and im pretty glad i didnt do it either.. u see 13?..ure only just growing up and all different emotions, hormones an feelings will b mixing with your head, making you think of these things when you get angry or upset...but wait until u turn 14, u'll be even more attractive thn u were wen u was 12 or 13..then when your 15 or 16... u look in the mirror, see how beautiful u are, not just your appearance but everyone has a beautiful person inside thm...all it takes for true happiness is to b strong and confident, find yourself a true love...thn u would loom bk on your life when your happy at 21 thinking " why the hell did i even think these things back thn"...everyone finds true hapiness one day but it just takes time and patience...im 16 now and the happiest i could ever be, and i used to think suicidal thoughts when i was under 13... but eventually it will come...strong people would try and tackle this problem themself but if you still cant bring yourself to stop thinking these thoughts...talking does help.. i hope this message reaches you all in time.xxx
12 Sep 2006	Javier	... Yea, i understand all your feelings. My names JAvier, you dont need my last name. Ive been arrested, gotten my ass kicked by my parents, and have smoked ciggarettes. Yea. i dont give a fuck, you know why, cause, ive tried suicide, i laid down on the train tracks down here in miami, got tired of waiting, then when it actually came, i realized i didnt have the balls to it. So, when im 17, im joining the Army. Not to die, to fight, to take all my pain out and little fucks that try making me and my whole fucking country weak! FUCK THAT! Im gonna live, and im gonna become a director. Yes, im suicidal, and.. well, im 13. Hey, if any of you weak, suicidal monkey people wanna talk to me about your feelings, feel free to AIM me, Undertaker9518. Thank you..
10 Sep 2006	michael sandborn	Let yourself live until your 24. I'm 24 now and every day I feel my anger and hatred for things I could have done right the first time. I'm in my 3rd college now, I'm doing well. Top of my class, highly respected, expected to do great things, received excellent marks in all my classes for the past 3 years and pretty much friends with everyone in the school. Each day I want to die. The responsibility and pressure of being "that guy who's gonna make it big." It's frustrating. My parents use me as if I'm some financial investment. "Sure, use all da money. Just become rich and famous and buy us a house." What if i Don't? What if i fail? What if for some reason my right arm fails (i'm an illustrator)? What if i just don't make the cut compared to other competitors... and that's when i think back to being a kid again. All those chances to end it. Everyday. I was a bit of a cutter, i would suffocate myself until i clunked out, etc. through myself off buildings to find out what would and wouldn't hurt me. I always wanted it over. I'm 24 now and I stayed home stick from work with a migraine. Maybe. I've been laying mostly staring at the ceiling crying, wanting to die. I've been doing this a lot lately. It's hard to say why I don't just do it. Fear, misunderstanding, shame, etc. it seems so damn easy. The kit you ask? Is homemade. I have bleah, knives,tones of art stuff that could kill me quite easily. Or I could lock myself in the garage, turn the car on and suffocate. The problem for me is that I don't do it because of the sadness about how I will make my family feel. My fiance, my little brother, my mom, my dad whom has always had hopes i'd be an illustrator. People I don't want to dissappoint, but each day i think of disapointing them. But the fear of disapointment is SO deeply rooted into my being i can't do it. So you ask what's the best way to kill yourself at age 13? There is no way. There is no answer to this question. I found this personally because I was looking for help on either stoppingmyself or helping myself complete my attempt. In the end i read many of these letters and decided there's no sure answer. To life, death, suicide, whatever. If you're thinking of committing suicide, live a little. I went to high school in the midwest, if anything makes you suicidal it's that. Popularity = the only way of success. I left for california in 2000 and learned that's all shit. Popularity is nothing and never will be. I'm popular? and i feel nothign for it. Fuck it. It's up to me how my life goes forward, not the populace of the world, so no. I won't kill myself. Because that would show that "they", being the fuckers in highschool, won. I WILL NOT LET THOSE FUCKERS WIN. ALL OF THEM. THE KIDS WHO BEAT ME UP, FUCK THEM. KENNY SEGURA, FUCK YOU. Ahem. I will be better than them, i will pursue life as i want with or without their permission beause i don't need it. So fuck them, fuck everyone, and tell anyone who says your worthless to fuck off cus you are worth something and sadly, it takes a long time to figure that out. End RANT.
08 Sep 2006	Me	I have no idea what a 'suicide kit' is and truth be told, I find the idea of one deeply disturbing. My message to those of you on this site who are contemplating suicide is - DON'T DO IT, SEEK HELP!! One of my oldest friends committed suicide two weeks ago and She left behind a little boy. She, like you, thought that there was no hope, that noone cared about her. They did. I will grieve for the rest of my life as will so many others. I will never get over the fact that she couldn't see any hope for the future - they was a lot of hope for her and and whole lifetime for her to live. There is always hope. It is very important to see a mental health professional to find out what the problem may be. I think my friend may have been bipolar. Never commit suicide - there is always hope and you will leave a trail of devastation. I will never recover from my friends death. I would mourn her every day for the rest of my life. And she thought that noone cared about her either. She was wrong.
07 Sep 2006	Sandra Grigg	Hang in there !! Tomorrow is a new day! my husband committed suicide on the 11/10/95 leaving a 1 year old boy behind! and I personally have been molested by my brother and put in a juvenile detention by my father and to this day I am very angry but I am alive and today my son is turning 11 !!
28 Aug 2006	LoveR..... i LOVE YOU	i hate my life.... why?? no point asking cuz nobody would seem to care. i am ugly all over because of what i THOUGHT i was. now im better. i had burns, cuts and scars on me. theyre gone now with some medicinal help and i am only 14. my life is great. im fairly good looking not like you need to know. but, i am just pointing out the fact that life (no matter how bad) will get better. i mean, people have to find out the harder way. but i am telling u. love ur life like u have never before. i hated mine and did the worst possible to me. not worth it. nobody cares. the only thing that is true is that the worse your childhood is when you are younger, the better it will get when u r older. trust me. dont die, dont try die, dont even think about it. if ur life gets bad. punch ur pillow, have a good cry, talk to your pillow (no matter how akward u feel doing it) and then if u want, talk to somebody (anybody). i pranked a number and told them my problem. i got comfort from most of my callers. my biggest, most sincerest thanks to Jan (shes a grandma). she talked me straight through my problems, told me hers and we became friends. i talked to her nearly everyday. just when i thought life was getting as good as it could for me, she past away. i felt depressed and i went back to my trying to die ways. i phoned other people met another nice lady and became friends. sometimes it makes u feel dumb, but i know it helped me. if u feel lonely, remember me. i tell u one thing. i do not hate u. i dont despise u for anything. i love you and you should love everything u have. LOVE YOUR LIFE LIKE I LOVE U. TRUST ME. TAKE MY ADVICE AND TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK AND KEEP TALKING. IT REALLY HELPS..... REMEMBER I LOVE U. I WONT STOP LOVING U TILL THE DAY I DIE. LIVE LIFE TO THE MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (look at them sidewayz)
26 Aug 2006	steph	This is my story. Take it or leave it. I tried to kill myself.I was gonna drink bleach. I knew it would be bloody painful but I knew it would be the last pain I would ever feel. Its said that it does a real number on your vital organs. And at the time I had no desire to live. I was gonna crawl under my bed drink it and feel myself scream violently as it hit my stomach. But mom noticed my heavy depression and I was hospitalized and locked up for a couple of days. I remember using some cherry blossom smelling shampoo, I loved, while I was hospitalized. But now that smell always reminds of that alwful place. White rooms, people waking you up at 5 am, your still half asleep from the night of other patients screamin, and they're taking your blood sample harshly, you take a shower, and the rest of day mostly concerns you having to talk with strangers, other patients, in groups and about your problem your still not clear on. Its been a while since then and now I see Therapists and doctors that treat me like a thing than more of person, it seems like. It much better just talkin to good friends and loved ones. But Now things seem better and I pretty much enjoy my life. Why did I try to kill myself? I dont remember or either I dont know why.I have a good life, and people always told me I was creative, smart, unique and likeable. I love 60s music and animals. I'm pretty much a hippie chick. Sure, my parents got divorce when I was young and my highschool is full of assholes. But that never got to me. I think I was bored with my life, everday was pretty much get up, school, home. I did stuff like steal, and public harass people, make art, film places I'd go, watch endless amount of movies, smoke pot, chill and meet people a coffee shops. And started to think if there was much to life. I felt I'd pretty much got my kicks. What was next? Go to college, Get a good job, have a husband, kids, a fancy house filled with knick knacks and shit I dont need? sounds so planned out. Perhaps I just wanted so badly to get away from some future I thought I'd have at the time. And maybe thats the only option I could think of in my confusion and depressing loss of my point of living. I think I was scared of growing up. But you can hear me right now. I never will. I'm just not scared anymore. I'm gonna have fun with life. Fuck how life is said to be lived, the whole reason I wanted suicide was becuz life lost its interest to me. I was so wrong. I was terribley wrong to insult gods work as well. So I'm gonna make life interesting. And I've also decided for my career to be a pilot. So whats the best way to kill yourself? heh.... livin...livin like theres no tomorrow and lovin it.
24 Aug 2006	trisha	hey people,im trisha and im fifteen.u used to want to kill myself when i was ten twelve and thirteen.But now i am a stronger person.you guys dont need a site like these.have some self respect.When i was nine my dad and my uncle rapped me.i never told a soul and im telling you now so you know that you are not alone.look at this page.the majoriy of people writing in here are doing this to help you.i know the last thing you want to hear is that things are gonna get better and that one day youll look back on this and laugh so im not gonna tell you it.when i was fourteen i moved in with my boyfriend ...my mum didnt give a shit she was happy to see me go and my dad fucked off a year after he raped me.im now motnhs pregnant with twins and im happy.i never thought i cud feel this way in a million years but i am.im not gonna make out like i now have the perfect life...because i dont ...and i still have bad times...i do anything possible to hide the scars on my wrists.you need to know that the people that have made you feel his way dnt deserve you.you dont need em.fuk em.why give them the pleasure of you commitin suicde.you need to prove them wrong.you need to show them that you are a srong person even if you dont feel like one.this lifes a bitch but u gotta be its pimp.the world aint all smiles..infact most of the world is darn right depressin...but you have so much to live for.you have your whole life infront of you.you can move away and start a new life.put all the bad memories behind you.you dont wanna hear the scientific facts and u dnt need to hear the wankers that come on here egging you on.they dont know you.you are your own person and you control you.you have to be strong.look at me.im just an ordinary girl.a fifteen year old girl.when i walk down the street im proud to be here.im proud to be breathing.im proud of myself when people call me stupid for bein pregnant.at leats im here im living i made it threw all that shit.i couldnt give a shit about who wants to bring me down.i dont need them.and neither do you.this website is pathetic.i mean the maker basically says it himself.he says i have very litle experience in this subject.then why bother man.they say that before you die your whole life flashes infront of your eyes.i dnt no about you but im gonna make mine worth watching.im not gonna look back in thirty years and wonder what ive done with my life...and neither are you.your gonna fight and ur gonna be strong because thats what you are.no matter how many people tell you your not.i used to think that death has gotta be betta then what im feeling now.but how selfish is that.there are people far worse than me.and i wanna help them.so what am i doing now.we havent even lived yet.you all have your whole life infront of you.and u wanna throw it away at the begining.its hard yeh and im not sayin that frm now on its gonna be easy coz it aint but is worth it in the end.theres a whole world out there and u gotta see it.go on be strong.hold ya head up high and ull get threw.grit your teeth when the hard times come.cry your heart out when your upset.and blok ur ears when people give u shit.your worth more than this.more than them and u are one hundred percent worth more than this shity pathetic website.im here and so are millions of other people.email me im always here for you.xxxxxxxxxx

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