|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|06 Jul 2006||ryan||a letter from my best friend and lover,
Some of you are probably wondering why I ended my life, some of you are probably angry at me, and some of you probably don't care. I think it's pretentious to write a suicide note, but it seems to be the thing to do. I don't possess the literary ability or vocabulary to adequately express the pain and hurt I feel inside and have felt for many many years -- this letter will just scratch the surface.
I woke up in a motel room in Moscow Idaho about two months ago with the realization that my life had strayed very far from how I always imagined it would be and that I didn't know how to correct it. I'm not exactly sure how I came to this point but I'm sure that it happened very slowly over a long period of time such that I didn't notice the changes.
I've thought of suicide and various points in my life since I was 15. My experiences in high school left me deeply scarred. I came away from those years feeling fundamentally broken and not good enough. I always thought I could shake those feelings in adulthood, and have learned various techniques to distract myself from them, but they still haunt me. As much as I've tried to rid myself of certain feelings I can't shake the idea that I'm not good enough and that I am unlovable.
I have never liked myself. When I look at myself in the mirror I see only flaws. When I am out in public, I compare myself to everyone I see and never measure up. I feel completely and totally crippled by my insecurities. Why would anyone ever want to love me when I can't even love myself?
In the last month and a half, I've woken up every morning and cried. I cry partly because I wake up at all and partly because I am in so much emotional pain. When I've thought of suicide in the past it has been more of a passing thought -- just an option. Two months ago I began to think about it again but more seriously. I spent a month searching for a reason to stay alive, watching people, traveling, thinking, trying to distract myself. I couldn't find a good reason and began to feel like more of an outsider as I watched happy people going about their happy lives. I spent the next month planning the details of my suicide while trying to appear as normal as possible. I simply began to disengage from life.
I have always been a stupidly optimistic person. I have always believed that people are fundamentally good at heart. I've always believed that love could heal me. I've always believed that I would find the "one" that I would spend the rest of my life with. The last few years have treated me to a series of incredibly painful experiences and disappointments with a few moments of pure joy in the middle. As I look back on those years I realize that I have only myself to blame. I am the only one responsible for my life and for my actions. The optimism I always held onto so proudly no longer exists within me. I feel like I have failed at so many things lately.
My first grade teacher once told my mother that I was the most creative child she had ever seen. Remembering that comment makes me smile and then makes me sad. I've used it as a measure of my life and feel like I've failed that teacher and myself. At one point I possessed a creativity that has been all but destroyed by my own insecurities and self-doubt. I used to believe that the creativity would return if I conquered those demons, but I'm now 32 and am haunted by the same things as when I was 22. I am a decade older and have very little to show for it.
I am incredibly sorry for any pain that I've caused anyone because of this. Not wanting to hurt my family and friends has kept me alive for a long time, but my pain has become unbearable. Please know that I have finally found the peace that I've been searching for for 17 years.
I am grateful for everyone who has been part of my life. Notwithstanding the pain, I've
had a pretty good life. I've met incredible people, I've fallen in love, and I've traveled
May he rest in peace!
|27 Jun 2006||joemonday||For all you kids here is my story. I am in my 40s and since the age of 13 I also wanted to commit sucide. I dont drink, dont take drugs and dont hang out with the wrong group. I am married and have no kids. I was doing a search on google and came across this site because at present I am having those same thoughts because I feel like that I am not needed by anyone. My job situtation here in canada is bleak. Working a low paying service job is pathetic at best beccause prior to sept 11th I was in a High tech field. Many of you may wonder why I have not attempted sucide long ago. I suspect its hope and the fear of what may happen to my soal after I leave this earthly place. For any of you who are kids and want to consider it find somone who CARES! Dont go to your friends. Thay are not trained professionals in this area. Teenagers will often ignore your situation. Trust me being a teen is one of the hardest times in your life. Life does not get easier. I relize there is different forms of depression. Mine is mostly event driven ie, loss of job is my big one. Seek help and especially from somone who cares....thats the most important aspect. DONT hang around people who are a negative influcence. If you friends are into commiting crimes, putting people down getting into fights then change friends.
Again I cannot emphisis this enough...stay away from people who are a negative influence and epecially those who take drugs.
|15 Jun 2006||Kelsey||Im 19. I tried to kill myself Feb 28 2006. I slit my wrist and cut 6 tendons and my median nerve and I can't feel my fingers any more and I can't use it like normal ever again. I am in an abuisve relationship with my boyfrind that I'm still with. We got in a fight one morning and I said I wanted to die than be there. So I got a big knife and hit my arm with it like 5 times and the last time it sliced my wrist open like 3 inches. I freaked and we went to the hospital. The bills are around $$$60,000!!! I figure if I'm gonna die somebody else better do it, cuz now Im more fucked up than I was before I slit my wrist.|
|02 Jun 2006||natisha||Look whoever that audrey person is...dont bloody listen to her shes no help at all! she makes you more depressed!!..me and my brother tried to commite suicide together 8 months ago...we both took 145 tablets each...my brother ricky died...i lived...he gave me the tablets that didnt matter if i took 1000 of them they wouldnt make any difference and he took all the 800g tablets his body couldnt take it..i only vomited.. and i had to sit and watch my brother die...he was only 17..(im 15)i tried to save him but it was too late and now i have to live with that everyday of my life...but im guessin that he knew something i didnt...because a month ago i gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl called latisha perez( im half spanish)...and that means at the time me and my brother commited suicide i would have been just 2 months gone...i know my brothers looking down on me and latisha everyday...i thank god everyday for latisha but i cry everyday for the uncle she could of had...theres always other solutions rather than suicide.. you dont have to think about the ones taht will hurt if you die... becuase your pain is the most important but think of the future when these problems have gone and what you can have and if its over an ex or a boy or even a girl...the father of latisha left me when he found out about my brother...and he hasnt ever seen latisha but im in love now...with my fiance and hes a great father to latisha and has helped me threw all the bad times so just remember when theres nothing left..maybe its becuase your looking to hard...sometimes you just have to sit back and wait in life...everything comes together in the end..dont listen to the people that put you down or laugh at your problems...they dont know you...smile lift your head up and show them that your strong enough to rise above them...dont waste your life ..because in a few years you can show people that your worth more than they are and that youve made it through...be strong and think of the things youll miss out on..people come and go in our lives but its up to us whether we're srtong enough to let them go...xxx|
|01 Jun 2006||Beck||ma mate killed herself about a year ago and i really miss her and want her back but it is really saddening to see or hear about someone killing themselfs we need to help people over come it.|
|01 Jun 2006||mel||It funny how much your mind-set can change and you have no idea how it happened. I was 14 when I first tried to kill myself although i don't think i was really serious and also started slashing my wrists. When I was at 18, through years of depression and absolutely no self worth at all I really wanted to die and I don't know why but I donated blood cause I thought it would make the 200 tablets I took later on, work more effectively. I can't even explain what happened it was awful, but I remember thinking afterwards, 'Damn it didn't work', I was sooo angry at myself. I am still depressed, but I just want to say that killing yourself is not the answer. It just takes longer for some to realise this.|
|31 May 2006||Allyson Miller||Hey guys I'm 17 now and to tell u the best way to commit suicide would be devistating even to me. though i can't say i havent tried, i just couldnt follow through with it. I havent tried in acouple years now and to know that i ever even tried is embarrassing, i also used to be heavy into self mutilation thus the embarrassing scars. I have friends and family and i am truely a caring person though stress and depression just seems so overwhelming that i really do want to leave this world but only for alittle while, enuogh time for things to calm down. My best friend killed himself 2 years ago and i only wonder why i dont have the strengh to do it. plz if you ever need a friend i'll be here.|
|30 May 2006||DJ||I've been very suicidal in the past. I would cut, over dose, starve myself. Whoever is reading this and is wanting to kill themselves. Don't! you can beat this..all you have to do is find a positive way of life. I'm not sure if I've found it but many ppl have influenced the way I live and I'm really grateful I didn't succeed in killing myself. It's your choice...make it a good one!!|
|29 May 2006||Audrey||First of all, SUICIDE ISN'T THE ANSWER. MY SON SUICIDED AT 16> I'm 44 years old. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO SEE WHAT A 30/6 CAN DO TO SOMEONE. I'VE SEEN the human body contains, ALL OVER MY WALLS FROM ONE END TO THE other end OF MY BASEMENT. Its not pleasant, and it totally destoyed it. Its nothing but heartache for the ones left behind. SELFISH AND INCONSIDERATE. ALL OVER A DAMM GIRL. I know from the age of 16 to 60, people have problems. I too have wanted to kill myself, ever since I lost Richie. I know what you all are going through. My husband left me, because i got depressed and coped by being on the computer. ALL I CAN SAY, IS I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SITE IS EVEN ON HERE ABOUT WAYS TO END A LIFE. I HOPE YOU ALL CAN FIND WAYS TO GET HELP. THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT LOVE YOU. I know, because my other son and his friends came in and stopped me. For two years, my other son ignored me, BECAUSE HE SAW WHAT HIS BROTHER DID TO MY DOWNSTAIRS, and IT MESSED WITH HIS MIND, TO WHERE HE showed no affection, EMOTION, because AND DEALT with his brothers death in his own way. By segregating himself from me. Until then, he realized he had to talk about his brothers death. Now 5 years later, he is having problems, again. PLEASE JUST THINK ABOUT THIS. YOU WANT TO GET PISSED AT ME, FINE. ITS YOUR LIFE. What do you all know anyway, right?|
|28 May 2006||I made it through alive||As a college student that plays softball, I know what it is like both as a person that has had suicidal thoughts and who has had girlfriends who have tried to commit suicide. I am currntly working with a 14 year old to get her to stop trying to kill herself. What I can say to all of you young people is that no matter how many people tell you its not worth the pain or the sorrow that you can cause somebody, ultimately it is your choice. But when I talk to my girlfriends mom or to my mom, I realize that cutting/attempted suicide, doesn't end the pain for you it just gives your pain to someone else. I should know, I began to severely cut myself all because my girl couldn't talk to me about why she wanted to die and eventually led me to due the same because I felt as though I let her down....I know that this has been a long story, but serious sit down and think of the people that are going to take on your pain...it helps put your life into perspective...|
|26 May 2006||simon||Sorry I am not under 13 I am 33 I have attempted suicide twice when I was 18 and 19 years old. The first time I set light to my car with myself in it. I bottled out but just in time as I jumped out the petrol tank exploded. At the time I didn't think much about it.
the second time I took 100 tablets. I was found in time yes in time. I didn;'t think that at the time but now I am thankful. Hey life isn't always good but it is what you make it. I have traveled half the world having 2-3 holidays a year. I have made lots of friends and have had a good life style. I have even lived in Canada for a year. Looking back if I had committed suicide then I would never have enjoyed these special moments in my life. It is easy to tell someone not to attempt suicide but if you are really serious about it you won't listen and sadly there isn't anything we can do but if you are reading this site then you are thinkoing about it but not sure we can help you. If you feel so low to take your own life please phone an organisation that can help you talk through your problems. When you become an adult then you will see things differently you are treated different by people. All I aSK NOW IS STOP AND THINK WHAT YOU ARE DOING. Think what you want out of life and turn your life around and aim for that like travel or owning your own business what ever you think you may enjoy focus on that and aim for it. Good luck simon
|24 May 2006||Ariel||I'm 15. Since I was 10 I have wanted to kill myself. Just I've never had the guts to. sometimes I love my life, sometimes I hate it with a passion. The ridiculous thing is that everything I love is the same as everything I hate most the time. I started cutting myself a year or two later...I felt numb and I wanted to know if I could feel anything any more. And guess what. It didn't hurt. I hate myself. The worst thing is how good I can feel one moment, and the next I just want to die. Literally.
On a brighter note, I'm not suicidal at the moment...Just depressed.
|22 May 2006||Rachel||Hi, my name is Rachel, well I am 15 and I started to burn myself at the age of 14. It was basically a daily thing for me. Everything was going so wrong. Then just a few months ago I started to cut myself. I would cut so deep that I would bleed for so long. I have before tried to commit suicide twice, and many times before I thought of how everything would be so much better if I was just dead. Now I started to talk to a friend of mine and he helped me so much. Anythime I feel bad then all I have to do is talk to him. That is the best way for anyone to feel better is talk about it. I also now go see a counsilor to help me cope with my depression. So all you have to do is ask for help and then slowly but surly you can get better.|
|22 May 2006||simona||i have two sisters and both of them tryed to end their lives.i know from experience that this attempts causes only pain. i cannot explain in words what i felt when they were in the hospital. now i think that they won't do it again but i live with that fear that one night i will wake up and see one of them lying on the floor. this thing really affects ur life. i still have trouble with my sleep.|
|20 May 2006||some one who knows wat its like||u don't! i have wanted to, then i talked to my cousin who i had always looked up to. i was doing alot of bad things, cutting, anorexic, pills. then i just started talking to her, and she told me how much she cared for me, and wanted to help. i thought she didn't like me. so, if u think your not loved, think again. some one out there loves u. if your adopted, your adoption parents wanted u. your only 13, so am i. u have years and years ahead of u. think of how much your family loves u, and how much u mean to them. its wat kept me strong. without my family, i would me buried in a box underground right now. i'm just saying, talking really does help. just, talk to a role model, its great to get it all of your chest, and be really close to the one u look up to. odds are, they went through the same thing. so PLEASE, just talk to some one. u can use a different name and say, " do u know who ----- ----- is?" then say they have the problem that u have. they'll give u their opinions, and it helps so much. the sky has never looked bluer, the grass never looked greener, the sun never felt warmer. and when the person u choose to talk to learns more about u, u learn more about them. so please, just try it, its better than any high u could possibly imagine|
|19 May 2006||Just wishing on a star.||Hey. Right you're being silly. WHAT has really gone wrong jsut think of it now yes now. Think of the cause. Was it you, was it somone else? Just think about it while i tell you my story.
1.I was rather popular at school, after being a depressed 'goth'. I had now changed and had been let into the 'it' crowd and was known as the 'it' girl. Everything was going good i had no reason to get depressed i had a big social life and everything but then i met a boy. The boy partly ruined my happy spark for a while, i didnt know why i just felt like i needed him. He told me he needed me at one point anyway, we went out he was my first kiss and then he decided my legs were to big. YES MY LEGS. I was devistated. Then one of my best friends admit that she likes him and then she goes for him and it ends up exactly the same except , she gets dumps him because he was at a friends house with me. I go alll upset have all the "it crowd go against me and i run away from school.
2. My dad is an alcholic. He works alot aswell, a couple of years ago he moved out. My mother coped and went all thin and depressed, i had a little sister at the age of two aswell i was only 6 or 7 and had to deal with the shouting the " wheres my dad tonight?" every night. I didnt even think of suicide i just cried and got on with it, i had to. I was only 7, 7 your not are you?..... Anyway my patience and he came back after two years. Now he still drinks and has a monthly strop where i am worried sick and do not see him for a couple of days.
Just please be happy and dont do anything you will regret right now i am going through a traumatic time where im not allowed out and have to go to a unit. Its not fair. But il live with it, il deal with it and so will you. A good way to help is to talk to a councelor. Ive had everything taken off me and my life is turning upside down. But am i dead, NO. deal with it, it will get better!...just keep telling yourself it will. Just remember be carful what you wish for!..x
|17 May 2006||Mouse||Heyz, I'm 15 in the 9th grade. At the age of 13 in 6th grade I started to cut myself. I hated life. So at the age of 13 in the 7th grade I did suicide. I had killed me self. I lost so much blood that My heart stoped. The took me to the hospital. They began to do CPR on my and stop the bleeding. I was died for 2sec. For 2 sec I was in hell. Hell is not a good place. Now I'm damned to eternal damnation for stoping my heart. SO DON'T DO IT CAUSE IT'S NOT NICE TO KNOW THAT WHEN YOU DIE YOUR GOING TO HELL. Plus now Thing happen to me. I keep hopeing that there is a way in to heaven for me.|
|17 May 2006||Someone Who's Been There||I am 31 years old and attempted suicide 11 times by the time I was 17. Nothing is worth ending your life over. Nothing, and I can tell you from experience that just taking extra strength tylenol or Advil, will not do the trick. I one time took 150 Tylenol and over 200 Benadryl, and just ended up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped and hallucinating for 2 days.......NOT WORTH IT. You have to find someone that you trust to talk to and try to get your feelings out in the open, and cry, cry all the time if you have to, but it will make you feel better. Get a counselor, but most of all realize that life is worth living, even though you may not get your way all the time. Life is rough, and it will always be, but you have to make the right decisions for your life to go the right path.|
|12 May 2006||mason myngheer||listen all u kids im 12 and lately ive tried to kill myself i took 6 extra strength tylnol pills i waited and waited for 2 hours then i realized something i didnt have to kill myself i had my whole life ahead of me and i was really fat 240 AND I WAS DOING HORRIBLE AT SCHOOL so i made myself throw up so if i can do u can! if u think nowbody cares about u I DO! AND MANY OTHER PEOPLE SO PLEASE THINK ABOUT WHAT U CAN DO LIKE HAVE A HOUSE,KIDS,WIFE AND HAVE A BEATIFUL FUFILLING LIFE PLEASE DONT MAKE THE MISTAKE I ALMOST DID!|
|11 May 2006||wyatt||i am 15 years old and tried to commit suicice multiple times by cutting my wrists. before i read the stuff on this site i felt like i was so fucked up and that i was the only one that can understand what im going through. even though my friends try to cheer me up and help me it only makes me feel worse and that im too much of a pussy to make things better for myself, and since i couldnt successfully kill myself i felt like even more of a pussy. I know that my life is pretty messed up at the moment but after reading this site i knew that i am nowhere close to as fucked up as i think i am, sure i am suicidal but i dont live with an abusive family or put up with nearly as much shit at school as some of u people do. i now know that if i really wanted to commit suicide i would have ended it a while ago, but now since i was lucky and didnt die i now know that i have to make the most of my life and see if it would really be worth throwing away all the good things i have in this world. Hopefully in the furure i make the right decision because i was so close to making the wrong one. I am so glad i found this site because when i found it i was searching to find out if overdosing on advil would kill me. I thank all of the people on this site for helping me realize what i have to do to resolve my problems and also realize that suicide is not what i need in my life right now.|