|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|12 Nov 2006||Still hopeful||I don't think any person should try to commit suicide, especially if you are 13 and under. It makes me sad to read some of these entrys and see how many people are depressed these days. I think this site is really great though, it made me realize a lot. I'm not alone. I think that may be the main reason why people want to die. They have nobody to share life with. I really felt like I was the only person in the world with no friends, a broken heart, and no hope. Everybody I love lies to me. Everyone thinks I'm a joke. Nobody considers my feelings or thoughts anymore. I don't understand life. I just can't face it anymore. It's so hard when nobody's on your side and way harder when everyone's against you. I've tried to kill myself multiple times. When I was 16 I tried to kill myself with 3 bottles of some random pills, then when I was 17 I tried to hang myself with the cord of a blow dryer from my shower head, then I hit 18 and my life came together. I was happy, I had a job and my family. Then October hit and it went downhill from there... in June I jumped out of a moving vehicle going 40 (I wasn't driving). All I'm trying to say is that I've been you, whoever you are. I feel your pain, but I'm happy to be alive. Death is not the answer. All you have to do is realize you are not alone, if you really are like me accept it for what it is. And learn to be okay with yourself for a while, nothing is forever, things are always changing, be strong.
|12 Nov 2006||Asja||Today my friend commit suicide. He hung himself in a closet. A few months back another one of my friends commit suicide, he shot himself, and about 4 years ago a guy at the highschool I graduated from commit suicide he shot himself. My whole point is when ur sad and u think things cant get any worse ur wrong things almost always get worse b4 they get better. when u think somethin is good theres always better. suicide is not the answer its the easy way out. I been depressed before and have felt like commitin suicide on multiple occasions. But things change and life goes on u maybe in the dark a long time but the light will always come.|
|11 Nov 2006||Beatriz||Okay,
My name is Beatriz.
I let so many things affect me.
These are just a couple of the things that are wrong with my life...
1. When I was born, my father was off getting drunk.
2. My father tried to kill my Mother twice.
3. My Father has hit and abused my mother in front of me when i was young. He almost killed her
4. My father is a deppressed and an alcoholic.
5. My father is Dead. He died from alcohol poisoning.
6. The night before my father died I was angry at him because i knew he was off getting drunk. So I said if he dies i don't care. My mom even told me to stay awake and wait for him.
7. I am thousands of miles away from his grave. He was buried in Mexico.
8. I get beaten up by my mom and used to by my dad before he died.
9. My mother always tells me how she hates me, likes my siblings better, and how its my fault my father died.
10. My mother is having an affair with her manager. Who has a pregnant wife and a daughter that ran away.
11. My mother got an abortion because she said she felt like she was going to die if she had the baby
12. My mother is trying to get pregnant again.
13. I am depressed and suicidal.
14. I have tried to kill myself 10 times. And I have been very close to killing myself so many times that i lost count.
15. Exactly 9 months before my father died, we bought a new house, so now we are poor.
16. I am expected to feed myself and my little sister.
17. I always fight with my mother.
18. I see the dead
17. I am taken for granted by my Mother
I am Catholic but I am not going to try to rub my religion all over you like others do. I always fantasize about my death. But if you really think about it we dont have it all that bad. Some people are starving to death and dont want to die. But here we are well nourished (unless you have an eating disorder) and we want to die. That would just be a waste of life. My friend has so many problems, way more than me, her father has tried to kill her. Have your parents tried to kill you? And some kids here are sad because their friends commited suicide, it shows how much you know about your friends. They probably had crap going on in their lives, and there you are amazed and sad because they killed themselves. You were probably not a good friend to them, and now you want to kill yourself?! Thats the most stupid thing I have heard in years. Live with it! Its not you that had all the problems that they had. And I dont think that they would like it if you killed yourself anyways. And people that say nobody loves you, someone has to. Your grandma, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, grandpa, cousin, friend, dog, anything. My grandma and grandpa hate my family because they think that we did that to my father. My other grandparents are dead. I know someone that does love me. Its my cousin. My baby Cousin. He always is good to me. I love him back.
Someone must love you.
If you dont believe so or just want someone to talk to email me,
|10 Nov 2006||Chris||I tried killing myself 2 times, first time with 300mg muscle relaxors, that didn't work, so I kicked it up a notch, I tried killing myself with 1360mg of oxycotton, my point is, don't use pills, they don't fucking work!|
|05 Nov 2006||Ashley||I have found that killing yourself is not the way out. I work at a hospital and I see many of you under 13 come in trying to overdose, or shoot yourself and were unsuccessful. Then you become a vegetable the rest of your life in constant pain and or on a ventilator having to wear a diaper because your brain is partially dead.
There is hope.
I know a man named Jesus that takes all the bad away when you realized that he loved you enough to die for you.
Pray to God. He will give you answers. He will give you peace on the inside.
My dad molested me and my mom beat me up every day and because of what Jesus did for my life and the relation I have with him, I am now a nurse and have a family of my own and I am happy.
It is possible.
Dont give up.
Call on Jesus.
|27 Oct 2006||finally happy||ok, you know what? suicide is a BAD FUCKING IDEA. im 15 now, and i tried to kill myself TWICE. ok, the first time i tried to cut my wrists, but i chickened out. the second time, i was going to hang myself from a tree branch. i had it all set up, tied the noose, and had it around my neck. i was sitting on the branch, which was about 10 feet off the ground. ok, i thought to myself, this is it. i was absolutely sure that suicide was the only way out of my problems. so i jumped. and thats all i remember. when i woke up, i was laying on the ground with the tree branch next to me. it had snapped. my suicide failed. and if i had to pick a single moment that i am glad turned out the way it did, it would be that moment. becuz i hav found in the last few years that suicide isnt the way out. and some may say that ohh... im so pathetic, my life will never get any better. FUCK YOU. its never gonna get better with ur shitty ass attitude. you need to work constantly at being happy. take chances, ask ppl out. make friends instead of waiting for someone to come to you. and whatever you do, please do not kill yourself. because i had a friend, his name was andy howard, some of you may know him from the band Twisted Method. well he killed himself, and it devestated all his frieds, including me, and his family. no matter how fucked up your life may be, please just deal with it, becuz no matter what you think, if you kill yourself, youre cheating, God intends to test us all thru this life, and if you make it to the end of your life, then you win, you made it, you can enjoy FOREVER in heaven. by the way, google heaven and hell, what are they? theyre figurative terms for the best and worst situations you can imagine. ok, now lets look at a comparison, how long does the normal person live? like 80 years? ok, fine, suffer for your 80 fucking years. then when you make it to the end, you go to heaven. forEVER. not just another 80 years. its like highschool. if you go all the way, you graduate, you hav the knowledge and the ability to suceed in life. but if you drop out, its gonna suck ass. so please read this, and remember that no matter how shitty your life may be, it can only get better! so work to make it better, instead of doing something that will fuck yourself, and make your family and freinds feel like shit too.|
|25 Oct 2006||Chrissy||I justed wanted to say dont give up.
I have felt really low of late and I know that I wont commit suicide it would be to devastating for my already long suffering family.
I for a long time saw myself as a joke, someone not worth two carrots.I wanted to prove something to the world and say that I had a right to be here and I left my home to go to university. It has been the hardest Thing I ever did. I become isolation cutting myself of from old friends who I saw as part of my problem of going nowhere in life.
Most of all I wanted respect but which could be gained in a way that made me something individual - I would join the un having been in a society at univeristy and wanting to help people I found the most pluristic and worldy body that could help me achieve this.
My lack of descent education has been my strongest barrier on this journey. My desire for the UN has waned as I believe I had recovered from my depression. However depression is an on going battle and can not be cured, that doenst mean to say you dont have a life it just means keeping an eye on things and getting to place where you can fucntion.
I found it very hard on my return to univeristy so many faces, so many opinions so many noises all out of my control, control had become a key word for me a key place to be to at least feel in control. Of course you cant control every utside influence the noisy drunks, the opinion of a rather annoying women in a lecture. Everthing seems to become subjective and if you find issue with someone or something which has seemingly no bearing on reality you are deemed to rude. However it does have a bearing on your reality and perhaps its impossible to friends or agree and have a nice day all the time thats for sure. What is important is the ability to get rid of yoru frustrations and feel like you are accept and at least ackoweledged within the working environment you dwell. I took lectures so serioulsy last year. I was competitive and wouldnt let soem things go, I felt intimidated by the younger members , the young bucks, ignored by the females and dealt with as a 'interesting case' by the lecturers.
I anaysled everything and everybody to even say hello became a life and death situation.The consequences of which could be catashopic to the world I was attempting to feel comfortable in.
And now I live with two guys, I dont know them and I feel unwilling to give enough of myself to ever feel comfortable with them. What happens if they something I dissaprove of ? what happens if they say something to offend me ? well they ahvent as of yet by I am obbessed about social dynamics and have been sicne sitting in my lecturers for the first time on this particular course.
Good luck and keep fighting
|24 Oct 2006||Rudi||Ever heard the story about a young boy named Jared High? (www.jaredstory.com) Believe me this site is worth visiting! Ive been through a suicide attempt and its a nightmare! If you are visiting this site it means that you still have some doubt left in you about suicide and you are seeking help. And that is a very good sign. I wish you all of the best and good luck! Rudi|
|22 Oct 2006||Bunnie||I have already died. I killed myselff, but when the hospital pumped out all of the things I took and did CPR I came back. My life isn't the same now. If you want to kill yourself just remember one thing not everyone gets a second chance.|
|20 Oct 2006||jordan||Hi i am jordan, i am a 19 year old woman from australia who has recently been reading the stories on this suicide site, i really feel for all of you who feel suicidal and or depressed,
i have been in the darkness of suicide,
i was sexually abused from the age of 6 to 14, my mother died when i was 16 and i became depressed, i had an eating disorder and began cutting myself, i went down hill quickly and attempted suicide twice but was put into hospital so i could not attempt it again, i hated anyone touching me, more so men most likley due to the sexual abuse, i realised that i was gay and that had a huge effect on me because my family are homophobic so i couldn't tell them and had no support in this area.
i never spoke to anyone about my problems, i wore long sleeved shirts so no one could see the scars on my wrists, i should have talked with someone, a proffessional, but i didn't because i didn't trust people, but that was a mistake, i should have asked for help because those are things that no one should have to deal with on their own.
so if anyone wants to talk about what they are feeling feel free to e-mail me and talk to me.
|12 Oct 2006||Erik||Hey A.L. I read about half the posts on this site during the past couple of hours but yours stood out to me. I am a 35-year-old white male whose life has sucked for the last 20 years. No, it never did "get better" as people told me it would when I was a teen-ager. I can't commit suicide because it would destroy the rest of my parents' lives. I always say to myself "no one deserves to live like this, not even a murderer", so certainly my parents don't. But that's what my suicide would do to them. So it's just living in this "Hellhole of a life", as A.L. put it, day after day, year after year. There's no other choice. The most twisted, ironic part of life for me is when someone tries to counsel me by saying "life is a gift". Heh, ain't that a kick in the arse! Who would want this gift? Another funny "joke on us" that is quite similar is in Christian scripture; it says if you ask your father for a piece of bread, will he give you a scorpion instead? (If that's not exactly right, the sentiment is still correct.) Well it's funny, my dad certainly would not hand me a scorpion, but that's what I got out of life! Another funny one that preachers tell is that "Jesus came to give us life in abundance". Yes! More please! Have you read all these posts? Yes, what we really all want is more of THIS. Something else that is funny: Dying quickly by jumping off a tall building is "selfish" but dying slowly, a little each day, during the course of 20 or 30 years, living a completely pointless, frustrating and miserable life, is acceptable and even honorable! Hey, and don't you just love those preachers who say "God wrote The Bible", or, "The Bible is God's letter to you." Heh. They are hilarious. Well, my dog wrote "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater". You want to hear something even more hilarious? Once I was so desperate that I . . . Nope, no razor blade . . . Nope, no noose . . . Nope, no bottle of painkillers . . . Nope, not even my handgun . . . I was so desperate, I actually started giving money to one of those televangelists! Yes, it's true! I actually gave that son of a bitch more than $300 before I wised up. Now I can't even pay my rent! I have to borrow money from my parents to pay my rent! Talk about being a loser. The girls are all over my broke ass. Speaking of televangelists, they suck! Here is some news to some of you: human beings, imperfect just like you and me, wrote every book, including The Bible. Don't let some jerkoff tell you that if you pray for something and "believe" with all your might that it will happen for you. Odds are, it won't. The problem is, enough people will get lucky and then tell you about how their prayers were answered ("Oh God has blessed me SO MUCH") and it will just confuse you and make you wonder what you are doing wrong. (Why, you are sinning, of course! You idiot!) Do you know what it really means to "believe"? It means to take heed of a warning or follow some advice. For example, if someone says, don't walk on the subway rails or you'll be electrocuted, and you are a "believer", you won't walk on them. You won't need proof, you just won't walk on them for fear of being electrocuted. It's not some mental exercise, so stop "wishing" thinking that if you wish hard enough things will change. They probably won't. Here is something interesting. Have you ever read in the Christian scriptures about Jesus being "tempted in the woods"? Do you know what the writer meant when he said that "Satan" tempted Jesus by encouraging Jesus to hurl himself off a cliff? Bingo! It meant that the hero of the story was tempted with the very same horrible crap that is dragging us all down -- thoughts of ending the suffering of self. But trust me, there is no way of getting around the problem of hurting others with your suicide (I have studied on it a right good while), so it just won't work. We're stuck here in this "Hellhole of a life", as A.L. put it, and that's just the way it is. (The good news is, you don't have to worry about going to Hell, you're already here!) I guess, maybe, if your entire family and all your friends, if you all committed suicide together, and didn't leave anyone behind to suffer for it, then maybe it would work. But how can that work? There is always some friend somewhere who is going to be left out and left with the sadness that he or she doesn't deserve.
So then what is left for us to do as we suffer through this crap-o-rama in this sewer we call Earth? Did you ever see the film "Sling Blade" with Billy Bob Thornton? Well there is a scene where Billy Bob's character (an ex-mental patient and killer) is discussing with his new friend (a boy of maybe 10 or 12) the experience he once had of witnessing the body of an aborted baby (it may even have been his little brother). And he said of the girl who destroyed the baby, "She ought not to have done that. He woulda had fun sometimes." There is your answer. Fun. Try to save up enough money (or time or whatever resource it takes) so that you can go and have fun sometimes. Whenever you have fun you can almost escape for a few moments. I'm not saying that I agree with Billy Bob's character that a few moments of fun make a lifetime of hell worth it. But since we're already here, it's different for us.
Good luck A.L.
|10 Oct 2006||CiCi||Like many of you on this site, I have too thought about suicide. About 5 years ago, I felt that I had nothing to live for. My father had just went to prison and me and my mother were staying in an apartment were she was struggling to pay all the bills. In school I was constantly picked at because of my looks and had no real friends because they too would pick at me. I absolutely hated life and everything about it. These feeling started to fade away when I got to high school and started getting attention from boys. But I found out that all most of them wanted was to use me for sex. Three years later and life is becoming what it use to be like. Whenever I feel suicidial, I just stop and think of the many things I can do in the future. I think of how my death would inpact my family and I wouldn't want to put all that stress on them and make their lives more miserable. I'm attending college next year and have decided to become a changed person. I don't have to live my life the way it use to be or think about it. I'm only 19 now, but I know for a fact that if you are under 13, then you need to live a little longer to find out if this is what you really want to do. Just think of the many people your death will impact. Good Luck|
|06 Oct 2006||Currently_Nameless||This Is my One year anniversary on this site....And I know some of you people would deem that "Pathetic" But, I feel some sort of accomplishment in it.....Seeing how I've made it another year in my life, So, No matter how many people say this site is sick, It's been REALLY helpful to me.|
|04 Oct 2006||A.L.||I play devil's advacate on this subject. I am a 23 black female attending a promiant university yet every night I cry myself to sleep and every morning I wake up disappointed to be alive.I really HATE life there is no HOPE for my future.I am never happy I just have moments of happy. Over my 23 years I have attempted suicide 4 times (2 by pills, 1 slitting my wrists ,1 getting hit by a car on my bike)and have been hospitalized 4 times yet instead of getting help the doctors pump you with medication which makes you crazier than you originally were. I wanted to die all those times but on one hand too afraid of the unknown of being dead.To me this is Hell on earth but what if it gets worse and not better by killing myself? I want someone to kill me so I can't be blamed for anything but I can get out of this Hellhole of a life.What really happens when we die? Remember once it's done there is no changing your mind. Anyway I just wanted to share my thoughts.|
|04 Oct 2006||Lb||Killing your self would be horrible. There are many ways to seek helo for thing that are killing you inside. My best friend just commited suicide 6 days ago. And that alone is killing me inside .. I thought about even commiting it myself. But to see how it affects your family members and your friends,...its just horrible. Now i live in pain everyday not knowing why and how this probley will never go away and its all because he killed himself so think twice|
|04 Oct 2006||david||i've posted on here once before. 11 april 2006.at the time, i had several suicide attempts behind me. i said in that post about how the only reason i could think of for living was hate. i got an email from that posting.and the advice really helped. i've sat both sides of the fence. im not going to tell you not to do it, because for all i know your life really isnt worth living, and i know what it's like to want to kill yourself. all i'm going to say is try to get help. turn to religion, the samaritans, your friends, whoever. just be sure you've tried everything, absolutly everything, before you resort to suicide. it should be an absolute last resort.|
|02 Oct 2006||joy||At age 13, you don't really know what you are missing out on. dont let the intense emotions that you are feeling now stop you from experiencing all of lifes joys. when i was 13, i failed. at 14 i failed, and now at age 32, i have a wonderful life and two beautiful children.
remember that you are going through things and the main word is through. you will find love and happiness and find the wonderful thing that makes you special and unique. someone will complete adore that part of you.
|26 Sep 2006||Jacob||This is for the dickhead named stay alive. Threatening us with the fear of the afterlife is no way to stop someone from committing suicide. Don't you think we're fucked up enough already... feeling that there is no way out.... Then you try to scare us MORE by telling us that the afterlife is worse... well FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is real... death might be the only way to escape and get some peace and some rest. I'm not 13.. in fact I'm a father, and i am in the situation where I am losing my baby girl (who for the record is the only thing that has ever been worth living for). I am a failed father and I have sacrificed my life for my child.. now I have nothing, I'm old... and alone. There is no point carrying on... there is only hard work and heartbreak ahead. I need to know that I will live in peace when I die. The alternative is just too much to think about.
And in regards to your comments about starving people in India... yes people live in poverty, in some terrible circumstances.... but suicide exists in all countries & in all cultures... these people are also killing themselves (and eachother). They have fewer means to do it, fewer options... and are less educated about it. But if you have a loving family who take care of you.. that's enough to survive even the toughest hardships... I know because I have lived in many countries like this.. and was starving myself.
One thing I do know is that you cannot really understand the world until you are about 23.... therefore you should not take your own life until you have lived away from your parents, made your own decisions... and had a crack at life for yourself. I know how hard & lonely it can be in that prison called your bedroom... the fear... the lonliness... the confusion... that will pass when you are old enough to leave home.
I myself am obviously considering suicide.... the thought of starting my life again now, with my broken & devastated heart... and old body is just too much.. I can't do it. I wish I could go home to my parents and cry in their arms and be taken care of... but I can't... I'm alone.
I am also prepared to listen to any of you kids who are thinking about suicide.. just send me an email...
|25 Sep 2006||Jay||To all of you who has disorders, low self esteem and other bugs in their heads. I want to share my experience with you all so you know that there is way out. English isn't my first language so please give me a break on my grammar. I was born in Ukraine and that is one shitty place i can tell you. I had to attend boarding school because of my step father situation. Did my four years there. Yahoo! :( I came to Canada in 1999 with my parents... All this "No money", "No language", "No job" situation drove me to the point where life has not much of the meaning anymore...
I was very very sad guy. No interest in life, no friends, suicide thoughts... I woke up one blue morning and looked in the mirror. I saw 220 pounds ugly guy who lives in fucked up family situation. I hate my step father! I hate the way I look. I said to my self " I NEED WAY OUT" there should be an option. So found one. I started collecting on welfare so i could move out. I developed anorexia so i can loose weight... I used MDMA drug ( Ecstasy ) to raise my serotonin level. A year later I was HAPPIEST guy in the world. I lost 60 pounds. I was independent. I found OK job. Drugs kept me happy. I started getting interest from girls allot. My happiness continued for another year or so... Then everything crashed. I had liver problems, wasn't able to sleep, my weight was 150 pounds ( 6'1" Tall). My eating disorder escalated to the level that one day I was so weak that i couldn't stand up from my bed in the morning. I spent that week at home. I starved my self to the point that i had hallucinations. I literally almost died from starvation. My mother found me in this condition after she couldn't reach me for a while. My mothers opinion meant nothing to me and she knew that. What did I achieved for the past 2 years. Sick, skinny, lonely and ugly again. I rolled back to where I was but with health issues now.
One day I've met a person who I became friends with. He didn't care about my conditions and never mentioned or asked about abnormalities he witnessed during the time we spent together. We were talking about different thing including business opportunities and he complimented on several of my ideas. One day he offered me to join in the company he started. This was the first person in my life who was ready to trust me. I couldn't be live it. I want to implement your ideas in life He said. Can you imagine how it sounded to low self esteem person who scared of his own mirror reflection. Some people who knew about my condition approached my new business partner and warned him. I believe in him he replied to everybody. SOME ONE BELIEVED IN ME!!!
One year later (2005) business started to pick up. We were attending gym together on a regular basis, I've met my fiance and I bought my first apartment.
I'm 27 yo now. I'm happy successful guy still with few bugs in my head. My friend is like family now. My fiance supportive and understanding. I look good and I feel good. Trying to stay healthy and taking good care of my self. I'm not completely cured yet. I still have mood swings and minor disorders but I'm a happy guy now. I didn't fix my parents situation. God be with them I just let it go...
What I'm trying to tell you is that life can turn around, it can become great and full of new feelings and achievements.
You are all good people! You know pain you know hate. You know dark, let light to enter your life. Open up give others the chance to get to know you. Find your hidden talents. Acknowledge your minuses,
get rid of all negativity in your life. Do what ever it takes but please please don't harm your self. You can't fix everything but you can improve allot! Believe in your self, believe in others. You HAVE friends just give THEM a chance to call you a FRIEND.
It can be a parent, brother or school friend. People who care about you - are out there and they love you allot.
And I love you too and wish you the best.
|22 Sep 2006||Francio||There's no point to sucide, not to me anyway. Sure I almost killed myself, but now I just don't see the point. And no, my life isn't great now; I just stopped caring. I'm probably a little crazy now, but not the "harmful to society" type of crazy--just the silent kind. My story? Eh, doesn't really matter. No one really cares, and that doesn't bother me. All I know is, I'm not here to uplift you, or tell you what to do or not to do. Hell I dont know why im even posting, I was actually doing a search on lyrics and this site came up for some reason. Back to the point, the one im not sure im trying to make: well, I'm not going to give up my life. Being me, I'd rather just sacrifice my life to someone; to something; give my life to a cause; a puprose; I dont know. I'm not lying when I say I hate almost everyone, even my own "friends," or rather just acquantences. Oh yeah I forgot, I have no friends. Short story: gave it all up for a chick who wouldn't give anything for anyone. Hope she dies. Half the things I say don't make sense, but I guess I'm not a very rational person so it doesn't really matter. Intepret this anyway you want: dont kill yourself, kill the pain.|