|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|11 Feb 2007||ana||I know my life isn't as fucked up as the rest of y'all's. I have never been raped, terribly beaten, kidnapped, almost died due to drugs, or robbed at gunpoint. However, I have a load of mental illnesses. Maybe that's why I'm so smart (I'm in the top 1 percent of the country). I've dealed with depression and anorexia. I think both run in my family. Everyone on my mom's side has had it, and I think my little sister who's only 11 years old is anorexic. My mom has often asked me if I am depressed and if I'm eating enough, but I just smile and act like that would never happen. Do you know why I would do that? Wouldn't it just be easier if I gave in and let the doctors take control of me? I'm too proud. I go to a small school (only 45 kids in the grade), and I wouldn't be able to stand the way kids would treat me if they knew that I took happy pills and had to live off of a tube. I know for sure that if I had the choice, I would die, I just can't kill myself. I could never do that. I've wanted to die since I was in 2nd grade. A couple weeks ago, my mom yelled at me and told me that she wouldn't give a damn if I started to slit my wrists. Since then, the thought hasn't left my mind. I don't have a single reason to live. My parents don't care about me. My mom doesn't love me. And if your mom doesn't love you, who will? I have fallen in love with the same boy millions of times, and each time he has broke my heart in two. It's not that I'm ugly. I'm look like Katie Holmes. I'm not fat either. I always see guys that are like 16 years old checking me out (I'm thirteen). But I'll never have the love of my life. And my best friend is a girl that I always see him checking out. And she could get any boy she wanted if she didn't already have a boyfriend. I don't think she would even miss me. There's only one person I could talk to about this, and I don't know if she'll like this. She thought some kids were gonna blow up the school and she purposely stood near them so she could die. And I convinced her to go anorexic. I think she's the only person who would miss me. I haven't decided what I would write in my letter. I made a rough draft. In it, it said what to do with my money and extra stuff. It said that I was just a waste of everything and I apologize for having to have them see this. It also included enough money for a burial. I have enough money for a funeral, but I don't know if I want one. I haven't decided what my parents would tell my friends. I sort of want them to know, just so they could know the suffering I went through, but my little sister would have to face them. I just wonder if anyone would even show up to the funeral. But I guess I'll never find out. I would leave a personalized letter for every person I know that said my goodbyes and how they have affected me in my short life, either pushing me to kill myself or keeping me here on this Earth. Both would thank them.|
|09 Feb 2007||jeremy||ok i just have to let it out. im 14 and im bipolar. my self esteem can change overnight from very high to very low. now because of this and my sometimes low self esteem, i stopped trying in everything i do and i stopped exceling and things when i am pretty smart and talented and could do so much better. when i have my low self esteem, i think i am very horribly ugly and that i have no real friends (which is probably not true becuz i have 3 best friends who i can count on to be true) unfortunatley one of them is in another continent so that sucks. now i dont have problems that are as horrible as the other ppl on this website. my parents are divorced but they are now like best friends and i see them both equally because i technically live with my dad but my mom comes over every day so yeah. and i have a grandmother that i love more than anyone and that loves me the same way and did more than enough for me. im not poor either. my problem is with friends and school. i have alot of friends but im not sure who my REAL friends are and that bothers me. and also in school i rlly want to be popular but im rlly not. and sometimes i think im terribly ugly and thats why im not popular and girls dont wanna go out with me (even tho i had gfs before and i kno girls who have crushes on me rite now). idk its just that im bipolar and it rlly gets on my nerves.
but the main reason im here is that i have though about suicide before and i cut myself like 3 times (but it wasnt like deep of anything and im rlly embarrased by it and i only have one scar left and it doesnt even look like a cut mark). but i have never attempted suicide because i love life too much i mean sure it may suck now but how do u kno what will happen tommorow? or even if u do kill urself what if theres no afterlife? u shud make the most out of ur life becuz it rlly will get better eventually. so instead of moping around being depressed go do something productive. get a makeover. join a club at school. talk to the new kid. take up a sport.
i realized that being depressed and wanting to end ur life is not the answer and thats pointless. so dont be lazy and work to make ur ideal life a reality. i am and its getting better.
so please take my advice trust me ull be glad you did
|08 Feb 2007||name||Judgements of suicide:
I'v heard many things over the past years about how people juge us. Hear are a few.
"suicide is selfish"
I think people say this because killing your self solves your problem but it causes pain to the people around you. I can understand thare reasoning but consider this: Isn't it selfish to have someone stay hear and suffer so that others dont have to deal with the loss of a loved one? They would rather have some one else in pain so that they don't have to fill any. This is one of the most hypocritical jugements I'v heard.
"No one wants to clean up the mess you'll make"
Yea, so... No one wanted to clean up the "mess" you made when you were born. Squeezed out of you mothers fuck hole dripping with embryonic fluid. Wrinkled, naked and ugly. Have you ever seen a woman give birth? It's fucking disgusting. And it stinks to. Someone hade to clean that up you know.
"You cant kill your self because it's not your life. It's Gods"
No, Its's mine! The user is the owner. Enen if God did make me(wich I doubt)He dosn't care enough about my life to let it get fucked up as it hase. If you own something then neglect it and it falls into disarray; It's not to blame, you are. My life is mine because I am the only one living it. I am the only one suffering through it. And yes, it's MINE to take.
"Suicide is weak" "It's the easy way out"
Is it? Life is supposed to have began on this planit about 3.5 billion years ago. You are not the disendent of anything that didn't live long enough to at least reproduce. You'd be surprised what you could live through. Most suicide attempts fail. And the few that are successful aren't vary pritty. You'r programmed to survive weather you like it or not. You'r body will try to keep you alive for as long as it can. And puts up a damn good fight at it to. Suicide is not easy. Not just because of the physical challenge but also the psychological. Death: What is so scary about horror muvies? Why do we put murderers away? What is the worst thing you could do to someone? Why is capital punishment the most severe sentence? Thats right, they all involve death. It is your strongest most naturally based fear. Just think. Someone who is killing them selves hase to not only find a brutal enough way to actually succeed but also hase to look death it self strait in the eye. I wouldn't call these people "weak" and no, it's not "easy".
"depression is a mental illness"
No, it's not. depression is circumstantial. It's rational. It's a natural feeling. Anyone who is depressed hase a logical reason even if they don't want to tell you what it is. People seem to think that because chemical balance in the brain and depression are related it must mean that a chemical imbalance is the cause. The relationship between chemicals in the brain and depression don't say anything about ware it starts any more then saying that chickens and eegs are related. Which came first? Chemical imbalance dose not cause depression. Depression causes a chemical imbalance. Along with many other things. Think of how convenient the "illness" description is. Think of all the people who have hurt you, all the issues in your life. I'v read a bit of this blog and I can see some of the things a lot of you have been through. Just remember, it's not because you parents beat you. It's not because you were raped. Its not because you get made fun of at school. It's not because you were born deformed. Its not because of you boy friend or girl friend or maybe the fact you may have never hade one. No, it hase nothing to do with anything in you life. If you ever fill down it's because you have an "illness"... Thats just a little to convenient for me to belive. People call depression an illness because it makes the problem start and end with you. It's just something that people say to avoid looking into the mirror.
Thare are so many things people say and juge about suicide. And im sure I'v only scratched the surface. No one ever chooses to exist. You can't choose because you have to be alive (or conscious and able to think)in order to make decisions. Even if you did choose this lfe and dont remember you still existed at some time and/or form. You are the only one who is living you'r life. You have no choice in your existence. Be for or after this life. What ever it may have been before this and what ever it may be after, this life right now is yours. You can live it or end it. And no one should judge you for it.
|07 Feb 2007||kitty||ya im now 13 but wen i turned 11 i got into alot of shit i had a cousin who melested me and my suposivly best friend melest me also and its even harder to deal with wen its a gurl i have never told a single soul and it gets built up inside and u get angrier and angrier and feel itss ur fualt plus on top of it id fight with my mom about everything to ware it get brutal she pushed me down that stairs and drag me by the hair and take me away from the wrld to ware i had noone to talk to it was aweful and i started gettin on the computer and talkn to ppl and i fell in love with a boy ody who made everything turn aaround i was happy but my mom found out and took it all away from me i thought noone in this wrld loved me and noone needed me soo i started cutting myself and hitting things like id sneek out at night and go down to the mail boxes and id ware big rings on eachfinger and punch the mail boxes soo hard id bleed and bruise soo badly to ware i have mny scars and id dent my walls but they r this ne way it may not be suicidal but id find neway to make myself feel as much pain as possible to make myself feel better inside this went on for 2yrs and ya now im 13 the whole thing that happend was my dad started sticking up 4 me and tellin my mom to bac off and then i started talkin to my mom and she got it threw her head wat she was cussingme to feel well now im homeschooled and have many friends whom i luv and care 4 plus i have an amazing boyfriend and i care 4 my mom even though she hurt me not only physicaly but mentaly but i relle am happy now i mean ya i have my days were i just wanna shoot myself but then i think that is stupid it relle is cuss u donot kno who cares 4 u and how much they do soo think twice b4 u decide ur gonna kill urself and talk to someone ok it might just help...|
|03 Feb 2007||dead inside.||i want it to be ok. i want it to be ok for everyone. why can't things just be ok? God, sometimes i just feel so bad inside. sometimes the memories are so vivid. i'm not a good person. i don't like me. no one else should either. it kinda feels like my heart is sinking, and then the numbness takes over...and i'm left with trying to make myself feel real.
i know that i can't kill myself, and i don't think anyone should consider suicide. all i want is for things to be ok. i want someone to tell me that whatever happened wasn't my fault. i need to hear that. but for some reason i feel that even if i was told that, i wudn't believe it. i want to believe it tho, i want to believe it so bad. i wish i cud change things. i can't stand to look at myself in the mirror sometimes. it hurts inside. i want it to be ok. but i realize now, that it is going to come back and haunt me forever and ever.. and i might have to tell someone about it. but i don't want anyone to know. but at the same time its eating me away on the inside. i'm scared. i'm afraid. sometimes i ly in bed praying that the world would just end so that i wudn't have to face the next day. everything is just so overwhelming sometimes. some people use drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, i can't even do that. i just have to deal with it. and i'm trying, i swear i'm trying my hardest to keep on going. but there are times when i just want it to end. i wish there was some way to just remove any evidence of my existence...i wish the things i've done could disappear, i wish the things others have done to me could disapper, i wish i could just become nothing. no feelings. make it so i was never alive. make it so i wud never have to die. just nothing. but i don't see that happening. so for now, i'll just do what ever it takes to get thru each day. i hope everyone else does the same. just keep on going. even if your hanging by a thread, let that thread hold you for as long as possible. don't let it break. hopefully things will get easier for us, for all of us.
Lots of Love
|01 Feb 2007||Briana||I've been there when all i could think about was ending my life. Everyday I would wake up and wish that i didn't. I have attemted to kill myself 5 times and everytime I was so happy that I didn't suceed. The fact that I had the chance to live another day I was so happy but it would keep happening. What I found out is that we are all going to come to a time when we just want it to end. But if we react on our feeling right then and there we might miss out on a great life. We are destined for great things. But pain is part of life and we are not suppose to kill ourselves just because it hurt. Just know before u decide it is time to take ur last breath that ur not alone and ur great life will come if u give it a chance.|
|29 Jan 2007||Boddamers||I have no idea why a 13yr old would want to kill themselves or how they wud but all i have to say is we lost a good friend today, he was 18. The life and soul of every party. A smile on his face is all we ever saw. He never complained, no one ever had a bad word to say bout him at all. We came on the net tonight looking for answers to why?, why couldnt he have let us know, why did he have to do it in such a brutal way. Why? But then we'll never know. Thats life i spose. Our thoughts will forever remain with him. Hope he's found wot he was looking for and is in peace sleep tight our munchkin xxxx|
|29 Jan 2007||Luke||Hello! Its all you people who truly care and have feelings that this world needs. Always look up to someone and who you aspire to be, someone whos so brave and strong. This will help you, suicide is not always the answer, I have saved someone from suicide and they now thank me, things change in life and many times it improves. Small changes can have a big impact. The majority of us have thought and tried suicide. My most serious one was at 18, heart broken in a job i hated and i realised i only had 1 true friend. Turn to something that makes u feel good, music, writing. Dont kill the person you hate, change to someone you love! Learn to love yourself! People love you dont make them suffer|
|26 Jan 2007||Coyote Carr||My brother committed suicide. I had to see him in the morgue. I had to see him in his open casket. I had to grief for his life and his death. I still do. The suffering is not that of the one that dies, it is for us left behind.|
|25 Jan 2007||Feeling Better||Yesterday, i nearly jumped off a train bridge near my school, but my friends made me come down and read this website. It had made ma realise how selfish i was being. Most of the ppl on ere had much, much worse lives than me, and i really do sympathise. I now get counciling and anger management through scholl. My 1st appointments were this morning, and they were really inspiring. I am 15 years old, and i feel it tis too soon for me to die, so when u are 13,you are definatly too die. Get help, and read other peoples stories. I will help soo much.
TRUST ME!!! THINK B4 U ACT!!!!!!!!!
|24 Jan 2007||keitii||You know.. im not relli sure what the best way to kill yourself. Everyone seems to be depressed one way or another.. but by dying its not making it any better.. killing yourself you go to hell.. well done!! Want a cookie?
Look.. my friends have attempted suicide, yet it hasnt worked.. my mum has contemplated on killing herself. How do i know? Because she got rat assed off 4 bottles of wine and a 1/4 bottle of vodka. I had to sit there and listen to how I make her life so shit. That is why she wants to die.. because of me.
Look at yourselves.. your what? 12? 13? 14? You have a long way to live, go fucking change your lives not end them..
Thats all i have to say.
|23 Jan 2007||Lisa||The best way to kill yourself is to give up. Humanity has worked hard, and not without screwups. I am 42 years old with 2 children. I contemplate suicide but then I realize that I have nothing to lose but live until I die.|
|23 Jan 2007||lisa||I am a mom of a dead son, he took his life on Oct 17, 2006. He claims he did because he was pissed off at his dad. Life sucks and now I am picking up the pieces for his sister. my life sucked too and tried many times to kill myself, now i see what the dead person leaves behind. could life be any worse?|
|23 Jan 2007||sharmini achari||why must one kill himself? no one has the right to kill himself or others except GOD. let me share a tru experience of losing a fren of mine. one saturday, i woke up from sleep and had a short conversation with my fren. we always sleep together with her room mate who is my gud fren too. i left her in her room at about 10.30am and went to mine. we decided to go out. and so, i was getting ready.....she called me up and asked for a rope. i said i don have and a joke out of it. she was just fine at that time. after getting things ready, i went to her rum. i knocked the door but no answer... i searched for her all over the hostel and finally after i return to front of her door again, something triggered me to get the spare key of her room. i quickly ran down and got the master key from the hostel warden. and i opened the door.... she hung herself..!!!!! come on frenz... y must u kill urself? until this very second, im feeling really guilty for losing a gud fren of mine. please do not let ur loved ones suffer by losing u.... the world might not turn and look at u but remember there is always someone who might be thinking u as his/her world!!!! disappointments are for sure in life but never be too serious with it!!!!! i love all of u.... v r all the child of god!!!!! life is for once.... live to the max...and make ur best of it!!!!!
need a fren to talk to:???? contact me!!!!!
|22 Jan 2007||I just want to live||I'm almost 14 now, and I've thought about suicide twice. The first time was when I was in 6th grade, I was having problems with my friends and was was irrational. I felt like I would never be happy again. The second time I was serious was about 15 minutes ago, when I looked up this website. After reading some on these comments I calmed down and realized that ANYONE UNDER 30 YEARS OLD IS TO YOUNG TO SERIOUSLY CONSIDER SUICIDE! Suicide is a serious thing and if you ever think that it is your only answer you should calm down before you do anything to hurt yourself, a 13 y.o. Is to young and irrational to be thinking of suicide, no matter what you think there are at leaat 5 good things about your life, and that is reason enough to keep going. Even if its as little as "I look nice today" or "at least I'm trying" its worth it.|
|21 Jan 2007||Scors-b||Today I'm Dreaming
Today I'm Dreaming
Today I'm Dreaming
I'm Dreaming of a brighter day, a day where there is no fear, where there is no fear, where there is no fear.
I'm dreaming to be one of those people who only come to places like this once in their life.
I'm dreaming of a day where I look back on this past and realise that this was all a dream
A day where I'm with people who know my past, but also do not question the fact that it no longer troubles me.
And it's good.
It's good because my body is healthy. And it is no longer destroying itself.
And I can run, jump, and swim, and not feel scared.
Oh lord, how this disease no longer stays with me. How I cast my gaze over the rivers and the mountains,
And can see how there is so much beauty,
So much beauty,
So much beauty...
But alas, for it is just a dream.
If you saw something special in that, send me an email. Maybe we can be friends.
|21 Jan 2007||just a guy||Hi. I'm a 20 year old guy. I tried to kill myself 2 years ago. Things were hard at school.. I didn't have any good friends. I had a lot of pressure from school work as well. If you want to tell me your story, I am here to listen. And I hope you will listen to mine too. I don't mind whatever age you are. Please email me. (I have MSN too.)|
|16 Jan 2007||pearl||I always thought about commiting suicide!I never do it.why?Why should i?i fell depress all the time.Always sad about my life.didn't think any person cared about me!!asking to myself "what will i do if i live?or what will i do if i lived without No one to care for me,No future,No friends,No dignity.well that's stupid thinking about commiting suicide..i admit i hate my life..every little thing about it.but that doesn't stop me from thinging what is really important..education..my family..my dreams..and epecially me..my life!!if you don't have a dream it's hard to live on earth.you only get one shot,one opportunity to be to have a life!others would die trying to get a life that you hate!lets just say poor kids or even african kids who are dying from aids every single day!i fell sad.Sad for them and sad for you if you every think about killing yourself!cus your so much more than they could ever be.And they want your life.im 14 now.i just want to say don't kill yourself your ganna miss your whole life forever because your depress at an age!it's not worth it!!|
|16 Jan 2007||suicide......no more suicide:)||heiya....well u noe wat i hav left every thing and has started to live a happy life.....:)now i hav decided that i wont ever use those blades pills and that all fuckin stuff again......wow......just fuck up guys......and think deeply abt wat the hell u people are doing its totally wrong.......u noe wat now in ma school making scars on arms has became a fashion....HUH...funny na????well i really suggest u all to think abt wat u are all doin......hurting ur self is not the right way...........u should face this world.....u should fight wid this world......so dun be self pity any more.....well if any ov u wanna tawk then u can add me....on email@example.com|
|15 Jan 2007||Breeg||I'm from a fucked-up family, and i'm failing school.
My Grandfather is an A4 Psychopath, My Dad is bipolar and my sister and i both experienced my mom arguing with my drunken dad every evening.
I still remember the worst times, like when my dad said he would let us watch while he would hang himself and stab his right eye out.
I have never been succesful with girls, they seem to not want anything to do with me. I've tried everything- straightening out my curls, changin my style completely, doing well in subjects, making lies about myself...
Lately, i've been failing math. The only thing that I really care about at this moment is my friends and playing guitar.
My friends have seemed to ignore me lately, though.
I've tried to suffocate the pain by writing mellow guitar tunes and releasing my anger on emo-screamo metal tunes.
I also have a big problem with anger management. I used to scream and beat people who wanted nothing but to watch me snap, because they knew it would get me into trouble. And all people said, was that i should just behave myself. I've been bottling up countless anger incidents in my mind now along with my repressed memories, for more than 6 years.
My mother will take away the only joy in my life unless I get an "A" in math; she will sell all 3 of my guitars.
If it happens, which it probably will, i will have nothing more to live for.