|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|04 Mar 2007||unknown||im 15 years old i was rapped for the first time by my bf when i had just turned 14 i stayed with him though he also hit me once or twice thats when we broke up at the time i was being serverly bullied by people who where supposed to be my friends i had someone attempt to rape me several times i managed to get away each time though when i was around 6 i walked in on someone rapping someone else infront of my sister then he was about to do the same to my sister my mother was mentally and physically abused by her father i had someone try to kill me the year before last a couple of times i had a person i fucked just to feel something i tried to kill myself i drank and smoked alot i was pregnant at the time and it killed my baby. i acted as the dutiful daughter at home pretending everything was fine when i was sinking further and further into depression eventually i stopped trying to kill my self as we had no knifes sharp enough to penatrate my skin enough to kill me and overdoses didnt work as i was used to heavy medical doses after almost breaking my back so i started to sleep alot to get lost im my dreams as it seemed to be the only thing i could control. i was bulemic the only thing that made me do that instead of findin another way to kill myslef was cus after my mother found oout a few of the things and told our closest family and when i told my brother about the rape and the attempted rape they werent disgusted with me they tried to help me the still loved me and i have a little sister who adored and looked up to me and who i adored and i didnt ever want her to accidently find out. mental illnesses run in the family its usually our escapes i slowly stopped doing some of the stuff i was doing and now my life is back on track the point to this is no matter whats wrong you will always have one person who will always care for you, you just have to be willing to open up i felt much better after i told people my family has had its ups and downs but were in everything toogether and if you let people everyone of you who feel you have nothing can have that to your friends are the family you choose for yourself so if you have problems with your biological family make friends create a new family your real friends will stand by you no matter what so talk to them|
|03 Mar 2007||Your friend, and always here||To begin with, I want to say that everyone who has opened up on this website and told their stories, inspire me so much.
I am 19, and I feel as though Ive lived forever. Ive lived through so much, as Im sure so many have. My first boyfriend hung himself and I blamed myself and began cutting. My second I lived with after being kicked out by my drug-addicted mother who's Münchhausen syndrome I dealt with for years. I was 14 at this stage, and put up with a year of drugs, rapes and violence because I had no where else to go. I was heavy on the drugs, using needles to numb the pain.
At 15 I met my last boyfriend who after 3 years, an engagement, a house and a child, left me for drugs and a stripper. I then continued to screw myself up by getting an abortion. That did it for me.
I had a bestfriend through all of this. The day after my abortion he came over to find me in a bath full of blood. I'd taken valium with alcohol and managed to slit both my wrists.
I was taken to the hospital and passed out half way there. When I woke up I saw the pain on his face, the anguish. I scarred him for life. He came over to my bed and cried and cried, devastated at not only the sight he had seen but the chance of losing me.
The love I now have for him, my hero, or my angel as I call him now, keeps me strong everyday. Every time I think of hurting myself I remember the tears he shed, covered in MY blood. I remember what pain I put him threw because I couldn't deal with my own.
It has been over 6 months since my ordeal and I beg that those who feel horrible pain and want to end their life, please think of what kinds of pain you may leave behind. Suicide is not the easy way out, it is so hard to work up the courage to do it. I now can only imagine what I would have done to my bestfriend if he had have been too late. He would never be the same.
I can now only thank God and Daniel that he was at my hospital bed, rather than my funeral.
|02 Mar 2007||a||hello i was reading this b/c my friend has comited sucide. i have also been sucidal at some points. he hung him self in his room, i miss him and think about him every day its like why man why. he had alot going for him in the things he did he was funny and caring. i never saw it coming until i got the phone call i droped down and cried. i hadent cried in a long time but this just blew my mind. he was only 18 . rip man. just dont kill yourself alot of ppl out there love you and care for you and so does god.|
|02 Mar 2007||nevermind||fuck this teenage bullshit...i'm 32 years old ok. i was raped when i was 10. i have the lowest self esteem possible. i hate myself. i feel responsible for everything thats fucked up in my life. im engaged to a fucking stripper!!!! she wasnt a stripper when i met her but we "needed the money" so she became one. its killing me. you fucks that moan about "your sister treats you like shit" etc you all have no idea...
i have 3 kids. my eldest is 8. i havent seen her for 6 months because her mum and me had a fight and i cant afford a lawyer to take her to court. the middle one is 6 but she's not mine biologically. she's a little shit. i hate her with a passion. sorry but i do. she has come so close to being beaten to death so many times, she has no idea. my youngest is the only reason i dont hang myself everyday. i love her. she is everything to me. shes almost 2. she adores her daddy (me)...
all you wankers that think life sux because you cant get laid or your mum hates you or whatever...fuck you...if your mum hates you, do something to get back at her...get a tattoo or something..get some slut pregnant...dont kill yourself. once you grow up and you get to your 30's and your wife's pussy is a fucking tourist attraction in the town where you live, THEN you can think about topping yourself...ok..but only think about it! dont ever do it.. ill tell you why...because, when you have kids of your own, and you will, no matter how fucked up you are, there is nothing in this shitty fucking world better than the look on your daughters/sons face when you get home from work and they are happy to see you. i swear to god. it cannot be beaten. i would put up with a million times more shit than what i have put up with so far, just so i can see that look in my daughter eyes once more. its not worth it. take it from me. i've measured the rope....i've picked the rafter...ive got the pills stashed away ready to OD on them...i've cut myself heaps of times...NO FUCKING POINT TO IT...life will still be fucking shitty...life will always be shit. it's how you deal with it that makes you different from the cowards who actually DO suicide...learn to play guitar or piano or something and whenever you feel like shit, concentrate on learning a song you like or whatever. works for me...anyway, if i'm still alive, you guys should stay alive...believe me...seeing that look on your kids face....melts your heart...
best way to get back at people who hate you is to just live life and be happy...
|01 Mar 2007||Francesca||The best way is to wait until you're 47, when your body and your lover and your children have betrayed you. When you've been divorced against your will from your husband of 26 years, when your breasts and liver and lungs have been diagnosed with cancer, and your teenagers are saying they HATE YOUR GUTS.
Until then, you have lots to live for. Live life, for one day, it REALLY will be unbearable.
|27 Feb 2007||Adolf||I must say as a person whose experienced the harsh realities of abandonment, drugs, and a couple of beatings you can really tell the people who haven't experienced real life. Real cold situations where you cant help but feel like the whole world is against you. If you've never considered suicide and you mock people who have you haven't lived through mind numbing situations but you will. You should just think of this. I used to mock the depressed and suicidal before the world fell down on me from every angle the law, my family, my girlfriend, my best friend for years, complete lack of money, and severe drug addiction (Oxy's really are the most addicting thing on the planet.) I came accross this site completely randomly, the question what is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13 showed up on my google results. You're way too young chances are if your 13 your problems are girlfriend or boyfriend related. Not even close enought of a good reason to kill yourself.|
|27 Feb 2007||gone inside||im 13 years old..alot of people will say i have a perfect life. i go to private school i have alot of friends i have an amazing boyfriend and i get almost anything i want. but i want to die. because all that i listed above can be gone in just a second. i have a mother, whos nice to me only when she feels like it. and then i have a sister. who hates me and is only nice to me when she needs something. and then the worst is when they are together....my mom and my sister get along soo well. and when im around they do everything they can to exclude me. all they do is complain about me. im a straight A student, i dont lie, or cheat or do drugs, i dont hang out with the wrong people, i dont even go to parties. but im always getting yelled at for something im always getting grounded for something. my mother over reacts on everything that happens. i came to the point where i did cut myself and i have been thinking of suicide many many times. all i need is a quick painless method.|
|23 Feb 2007||lyn||Can i just start by saying life is never as bad as it seems. there is always someone worse than you. when i was 10 i was sexually abused by my best friends dad. at 22, my neighbour tried to rape me and the council refused to move me. when i was 26 i was jumped but there is something in the back of my head telling me that i have to carry on. killing yourself is the selfish way out. think of those u are leaving behind. also think of the person who will find u. thats the things that keep me going. life will get better i promise|
|19 Feb 2007||zach||i dont have the crapest life and i no that but it doesnt stop me wantin to die i can only think of one reason not to die and its to see my little brother grow up but i cant deal with the pressure of school and my mum and dad never see eye to eye with me and yea i feel like crap all the time, i cant do with pressure and i drink most weekends to get rid of the pain but i just wanna die now but i dont have the balls to hang myself or take aload of pills :(|
|15 Feb 2007||janelle||Hey, I'm 22 yrs old n I had a really fucked up life..... but so did everyone in the entire fucking world. Everybody goes through things in their lives that make them sad and make them feel like they have the worst life ever. No ones problems are bigger than anyone elses cause everyone takes shit differently. What's devestating to one person could be no big deal to another and visa versa. Its all about how one can handle a tribulation. I read a lot of these things on here, and a lot of people blame a mental illness on why their suicidal. That's straight up bull shit! I have bi-polar and there were many times in manic phases where I did shit I regretted, but I did it cause I wanted to... I've been off of my medication for 6 years, and I've learned to control myself on my own. I have a 2 year old daughter, and my own business. I still get a lil crazy from time to time, but so does everyone else. Only you can help yourself. Shit happens, and you can't change it, so why let it bring you down. And another very true thing, although it may be a lil cruel, is, if you were serious about killing yourself, you'd just do it. You wouldn't tell anyone, you wouldn't be reading shit on the internet, you wouldn't even be writing about it. You'd just do it. So stop talking shit, cause you're not serious. I hope some of you children take heed to what I'm saying.|
|14 Feb 2007||???||I am 12 and reely depressed day after day i feel myself slipping further into a depression drowning myself in sorrows. My sisters hate me and so does my dad i dont want to kill myself but i soon think i will have to. But if you do want to commit suicide i do not recomed slitting your wrists it hurts and has no effect but it does pump the adrenaline fiersely around your body making you feel stronger and better... I wish you all a happy life this is the last you may ever hear of me...
from --not 2 be known
|12 Feb 2007||andrea||well my life was really hard since i was borned..
my mother allwasy blamed for anything..
she would miss treat me and had a really bad infancy..
i was a LOSER when i staerd i my school nobody liked me i cried averyday i came from school..
my father is the only person that defend me...
my grandfather is dieng he has cancer..
my aunt allmos died 2 weeks ago..
my grandpa abused my mother..
i have been through alot lately ..
drinkign and smoking..
i really dont like my life and i cut my wrist but...
i feel so empty
and dead inside
like if nobody loved me and i cant love nobody
my mom hates me..
and i really want to die!
|11 Feb 2007||ana||I know my life isn't as fucked up as the rest of y'all's. I have never been raped, terribly beaten, kidnapped, almost died due to drugs, or robbed at gunpoint. However, I have a load of mental illnesses. Maybe that's why I'm so smart (I'm in the top 1 percent of the country). I've dealed with depression and anorexia. I think both run in my family. Everyone on my mom's side has had it, and I think my little sister who's only 11 years old is anorexic. My mom has often asked me if I am depressed and if I'm eating enough, but I just smile and act like that would never happen. Do you know why I would do that? Wouldn't it just be easier if I gave in and let the doctors take control of me? I'm too proud. I go to a small school (only 45 kids in the grade), and I wouldn't be able to stand the way kids would treat me if they knew that I took happy pills and had to live off of a tube. I know for sure that if I had the choice, I would die, I just can't kill myself. I could never do that. I've wanted to die since I was in 2nd grade. A couple weeks ago, my mom yelled at me and told me that she wouldn't give a damn if I started to slit my wrists. Since then, the thought hasn't left my mind. I don't have a single reason to live. My parents don't care about me. My mom doesn't love me. And if your mom doesn't love you, who will? I have fallen in love with the same boy millions of times, and each time he has broke my heart in two. It's not that I'm ugly. I'm look like Katie Holmes. I'm not fat either. I always see guys that are like 16 years old checking me out (I'm thirteen). But I'll never have the love of my life. And my best friend is a girl that I always see him checking out. And she could get any boy she wanted if she didn't already have a boyfriend. I don't think she would even miss me. There's only one person I could talk to about this, and I don't know if she'll like this. She thought some kids were gonna blow up the school and she purposely stood near them so she could die. And I convinced her to go anorexic. I think she's the only person who would miss me. I haven't decided what I would write in my letter. I made a rough draft. In it, it said what to do with my money and extra stuff. It said that I was just a waste of everything and I apologize for having to have them see this. It also included enough money for a burial. I have enough money for a funeral, but I don't know if I want one. I haven't decided what my parents would tell my friends. I sort of want them to know, just so they could know the suffering I went through, but my little sister would have to face them. I just wonder if anyone would even show up to the funeral. But I guess I'll never find out. I would leave a personalized letter for every person I know that said my goodbyes and how they have affected me in my short life, either pushing me to kill myself or keeping me here on this Earth. Both would thank them.|
|09 Feb 2007||jeremy||ok i just have to let it out. im 14 and im bipolar. my self esteem can change overnight from very high to very low. now because of this and my sometimes low self esteem, i stopped trying in everything i do and i stopped exceling and things when i am pretty smart and talented and could do so much better. when i have my low self esteem, i think i am very horribly ugly and that i have no real friends (which is probably not true becuz i have 3 best friends who i can count on to be true) unfortunatley one of them is in another continent so that sucks. now i dont have problems that are as horrible as the other ppl on this website. my parents are divorced but they are now like best friends and i see them both equally because i technically live with my dad but my mom comes over every day so yeah. and i have a grandmother that i love more than anyone and that loves me the same way and did more than enough for me. im not poor either. my problem is with friends and school. i have alot of friends but im not sure who my REAL friends are and that bothers me. and also in school i rlly want to be popular but im rlly not. and sometimes i think im terribly ugly and thats why im not popular and girls dont wanna go out with me (even tho i had gfs before and i kno girls who have crushes on me rite now). idk its just that im bipolar and it rlly gets on my nerves.
but the main reason im here is that i have though about suicide before and i cut myself like 3 times (but it wasnt like deep of anything and im rlly embarrased by it and i only have one scar left and it doesnt even look like a cut mark). but i have never attempted suicide because i love life too much i mean sure it may suck now but how do u kno what will happen tommorow? or even if u do kill urself what if theres no afterlife? u shud make the most out of ur life becuz it rlly will get better eventually. so instead of moping around being depressed go do something productive. get a makeover. join a club at school. talk to the new kid. take up a sport.
i realized that being depressed and wanting to end ur life is not the answer and thats pointless. so dont be lazy and work to make ur ideal life a reality. i am and its getting better.
so please take my advice trust me ull be glad you did
|08 Feb 2007||name||Judgements of suicide:
I'v heard many things over the past years about how people juge us. Hear are a few.
"suicide is selfish"
I think people say this because killing your self solves your problem but it causes pain to the people around you. I can understand thare reasoning but consider this: Isn't it selfish to have someone stay hear and suffer so that others dont have to deal with the loss of a loved one? They would rather have some one else in pain so that they don't have to fill any. This is one of the most hypocritical jugements I'v heard.
"No one wants to clean up the mess you'll make"
Yea, so... No one wanted to clean up the "mess" you made when you were born. Squeezed out of you mothers fuck hole dripping with embryonic fluid. Wrinkled, naked and ugly. Have you ever seen a woman give birth? It's fucking disgusting. And it stinks to. Someone hade to clean that up you know.
"You cant kill your self because it's not your life. It's Gods"
No, Its's mine! The user is the owner. Enen if God did make me(wich I doubt)He dosn't care enough about my life to let it get fucked up as it hase. If you own something then neglect it and it falls into disarray; It's not to blame, you are. My life is mine because I am the only one living it. I am the only one suffering through it. And yes, it's MINE to take.
"Suicide is weak" "It's the easy way out"
Is it? Life is supposed to have began on this planit about 3.5 billion years ago. You are not the disendent of anything that didn't live long enough to at least reproduce. You'd be surprised what you could live through. Most suicide attempts fail. And the few that are successful aren't vary pritty. You'r programmed to survive weather you like it or not. You'r body will try to keep you alive for as long as it can. And puts up a damn good fight at it to. Suicide is not easy. Not just because of the physical challenge but also the psychological. Death: What is so scary about horror muvies? Why do we put murderers away? What is the worst thing you could do to someone? Why is capital punishment the most severe sentence? Thats right, they all involve death. It is your strongest most naturally based fear. Just think. Someone who is killing them selves hase to not only find a brutal enough way to actually succeed but also hase to look death it self strait in the eye. I wouldn't call these people "weak" and no, it's not "easy".
"depression is a mental illness"
No, it's not. depression is circumstantial. It's rational. It's a natural feeling. Anyone who is depressed hase a logical reason even if they don't want to tell you what it is. People seem to think that because chemical balance in the brain and depression are related it must mean that a chemical imbalance is the cause. The relationship between chemicals in the brain and depression don't say anything about ware it starts any more then saying that chickens and eegs are related. Which came first? Chemical imbalance dose not cause depression. Depression causes a chemical imbalance. Along with many other things. Think of how convenient the "illness" description is. Think of all the people who have hurt you, all the issues in your life. I'v read a bit of this blog and I can see some of the things a lot of you have been through. Just remember, it's not because you parents beat you. It's not because you were raped. Its not because you get made fun of at school. It's not because you were born deformed. Its not because of you boy friend or girl friend or maybe the fact you may have never hade one. No, it hase nothing to do with anything in you life. If you ever fill down it's because you have an "illness"... Thats just a little to convenient for me to belive. People call depression an illness because it makes the problem start and end with you. It's just something that people say to avoid looking into the mirror.
Thare are so many things people say and juge about suicide. And im sure I'v only scratched the surface. No one ever chooses to exist. You can't choose because you have to be alive (or conscious and able to think)in order to make decisions. Even if you did choose this lfe and dont remember you still existed at some time and/or form. You are the only one who is living you'r life. You have no choice in your existence. Be for or after this life. What ever it may have been before this and what ever it may be after, this life right now is yours. You can live it or end it. And no one should judge you for it.
|07 Feb 2007||kitty||ya im now 13 but wen i turned 11 i got into alot of shit i had a cousin who melested me and my suposivly best friend melest me also and its even harder to deal with wen its a gurl i have never told a single soul and it gets built up inside and u get angrier and angrier and feel itss ur fualt plus on top of it id fight with my mom about everything to ware it get brutal she pushed me down that stairs and drag me by the hair and take me away from the wrld to ware i had noone to talk to it was aweful and i started gettin on the computer and talkn to ppl and i fell in love with a boy ody who made everything turn aaround i was happy but my mom found out and took it all away from me i thought noone in this wrld loved me and noone needed me soo i started cutting myself and hitting things like id sneek out at night and go down to the mail boxes and id ware big rings on eachfinger and punch the mail boxes soo hard id bleed and bruise soo badly to ware i have mny scars and id dent my walls but they r this ne way it may not be suicidal but id find neway to make myself feel as much pain as possible to make myself feel better inside this went on for 2yrs and ya now im 13 the whole thing that happend was my dad started sticking up 4 me and tellin my mom to bac off and then i started talkin to my mom and she got it threw her head wat she was cussingme to feel well now im homeschooled and have many friends whom i luv and care 4 plus i have an amazing boyfriend and i care 4 my mom even though she hurt me not only physicaly but mentaly but i relle am happy now i mean ya i have my days were i just wanna shoot myself but then i think that is stupid it relle is cuss u donot kno who cares 4 u and how much they do soo think twice b4 u decide ur gonna kill urself and talk to someone ok it might just help...|
|03 Feb 2007||dead inside.||i want it to be ok. i want it to be ok for everyone. why can't things just be ok? God, sometimes i just feel so bad inside. sometimes the memories are so vivid. i'm not a good person. i don't like me. no one else should either. it kinda feels like my heart is sinking, and then the numbness takes over...and i'm left with trying to make myself feel real.
i know that i can't kill myself, and i don't think anyone should consider suicide. all i want is for things to be ok. i want someone to tell me that whatever happened wasn't my fault. i need to hear that. but for some reason i feel that even if i was told that, i wudn't believe it. i want to believe it tho, i want to believe it so bad. i wish i cud change things. i can't stand to look at myself in the mirror sometimes. it hurts inside. i want it to be ok. but i realize now, that it is going to come back and haunt me forever and ever.. and i might have to tell someone about it. but i don't want anyone to know. but at the same time its eating me away on the inside. i'm scared. i'm afraid. sometimes i ly in bed praying that the world would just end so that i wudn't have to face the next day. everything is just so overwhelming sometimes. some people use drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, i can't even do that. i just have to deal with it. and i'm trying, i swear i'm trying my hardest to keep on going. but there are times when i just want it to end. i wish there was some way to just remove any evidence of my existence...i wish the things i've done could disappear, i wish the things others have done to me could disapper, i wish i could just become nothing. no feelings. make it so i was never alive. make it so i wud never have to die. just nothing. but i don't see that happening. so for now, i'll just do what ever it takes to get thru each day. i hope everyone else does the same. just keep on going. even if your hanging by a thread, let that thread hold you for as long as possible. don't let it break. hopefully things will get easier for us, for all of us.
Lots of Love
|01 Feb 2007||Briana||I've been there when all i could think about was ending my life. Everyday I would wake up and wish that i didn't. I have attemted to kill myself 5 times and everytime I was so happy that I didn't suceed. The fact that I had the chance to live another day I was so happy but it would keep happening. What I found out is that we are all going to come to a time when we just want it to end. But if we react on our feeling right then and there we might miss out on a great life. We are destined for great things. But pain is part of life and we are not suppose to kill ourselves just because it hurt. Just know before u decide it is time to take ur last breath that ur not alone and ur great life will come if u give it a chance.|
|29 Jan 2007||Boddamers||I have no idea why a 13yr old would want to kill themselves or how they wud but all i have to say is we lost a good friend today, he was 18. The life and soul of every party. A smile on his face is all we ever saw. He never complained, no one ever had a bad word to say bout him at all. We came on the net tonight looking for answers to why?, why couldnt he have let us know, why did he have to do it in such a brutal way. Why? But then we'll never know. Thats life i spose. Our thoughts will forever remain with him. Hope he's found wot he was looking for and is in peace sleep tight our munchkin xxxx|
|29 Jan 2007||Luke||Hello! Its all you people who truly care and have feelings that this world needs. Always look up to someone and who you aspire to be, someone whos so brave and strong. This will help you, suicide is not always the answer, I have saved someone from suicide and they now thank me, things change in life and many times it improves. Small changes can have a big impact. The majority of us have thought and tried suicide. My most serious one was at 18, heart broken in a job i hated and i realised i only had 1 true friend. Turn to something that makes u feel good, music, writing. Dont kill the person you hate, change to someone you love! Learn to love yourself! People love you dont make them suffer|