|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|05 May 2007||jess||iv had a crap life
but iv survived
if i can so can u
u can email me or add me on msn at
email@example.com i u wanna talk
|27 Apr 2007||Bennyboi||Its me again, I read something today, it was on this website too! It was made by someone called "Peggy" I would just like to say that the page she typed was truley inspiring and I would also like to say thankyou Peggy,
It only takes a few people to change everything for the worse...
But, it takes just one, just one person to make great changes for the better!
So, if "Peggy" is reading this, thankyou, thankyou peggy!
To anyone else reading this,
"Choose life, we'll miss you if you left this planet. So would those people you were meant to help!
|27 Apr 2007||dead inside.||so there isn't anything to do, and i find myself at this site again. the following will just be random thoughts from my head, so feel free to ignore me. suicide is a crazy thing. this morning was pretty low key at work so i was just standing at my till flipping thru a magazine. the cover story was about Virginia tech. And they had little pictures of the victims and a little about there life. and it gave me the chills. do you think those kids woke up that day thinking they were gonna die? most likely not. some of them were my age. i go to a university too. i don't know if any of you heard of what happened in montreal a few months back. and then there was the columbine thing. why does this happen? it happens over and over, and all society does is make the killers famous. put their pictures all over the tv stations. i understand that in these cases, the killer is also a victim. so why doesn't society try to stop this by going to the main source. all those lonely kids, that sit at the back of the class, and never say a word, and always get picked on...why don't we help them? why don't we try to soften them before they completly lose it? speaking of which, who decides all this anyways. humanity isn't suppose to be a pecking order. who decides whats considererd pretty? Anyone hear of Rena Verk? Her classmates killed her cause she wasn't normal, normal meaning she wasn't thin and pretty. so maybe its all hollywoods fault. aren't they the ones who advertise and define "beauty." They've made a mold, and if you don't fit it, then your weird. i know i am completely going off topic here....but really its all connected. Kids feel bad because they don't look a certain way. because they don't have enough money. because their families aren't happy and complete like the ones in the movies. and then these kids isolate themselves from everything real. and their minds become infected with revenge. revenge for what? they don't even know. all they end up needing is a target. they are only human after all. humans like having someone to blame. and then in the end result, innocent lives are taken. lives are shattered. wives become widows. kids become orphans. parents lose there children. what is my point? i have no fucking clue. humanity puzzles me. it sickens me. it worries me. you never know when its going to end. you have it and then poof, its gone. everything goes away. roses always die. your here for only a short period of time. might as well make the best of it. enjoy what little time you have to live and breath and eat and fuck. yeah life sucks. i know. but keep in mind, this, the whole living bit of it, is just like 10% of the big picture, maybe even less. what comes after it is forever. Think of the word forever. The word itself seems impossible to believe. Forever means it never ends. it just goes on and on and on and on. this bit here, this will end. and when it does, you won't ever get it back. the pain, the misery, the anguish, the suffering...and even the love and happiness....all the stuff that we have to endure, its just temporary. it will go away, whether you let fate handle it or you decide to take into your own hands...either way...it'll still end. so just make the best of the time you have here. ever feel love? like when it completly consumes you? ever lose it? like when that one thing/person is your whole life, they are the reason your heart beats.....and then its gone? all those feelings are beautiful in there own way. the fact that you can feel something, whether it be pain, or love...thats what life is. its those feelings. i have no idea how to explain it further. but like the song says, "i'd rather feel pain, than nothing at all."
this was just a bunch of rambling. i know. if you actually read this, your probably more confused than you were before. -sigh-
i don't even know if mouchette will post this. oh well.
i hope things work out for everyone.
|27 Apr 2007||HansVonG.||what i didnt explain in my last post about surviving storms is what a storm does.
it brings rain which brings life to plants and animals. habitats for reptiles.
and if it brings destruction with the storm then it makes jobs for people which feeds mouths.
your lifes storms while bad do bring good to you.
not all of it is revealed at once.
|27 Apr 2007||just a guy||"When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad that they have to get better."
I think this has to be the most true thing I have ever read. Take another look. This pretty much sums up why I'm still alive, and maybe it also does for you. No matter how bad things are, there is always hope. Hope is the most important thing in the world. Without it we would all be doomed - hope is what makes you study at school, take a job interview, try out for a team. Hope can make you get up in the morning and I suppose it can also keep you living a life that you really wish you never had.
For me, it feels like just whenever I'm maybe about to find the one thing that would make it all worthwhile, it just fucks up. It fucks up so much that I wish i was more than dead... because right now i can't even explain the pain and frustration. It's maddening, like a beautiful summers day.. but then the thick black clouds come rushing in from all four corners of the sky and fill the chest with deadening pressure. Uncontrollable, like something eating away at you from the inside. I just don't fucking like it. Get it out, before it eats my soul.
I just wanna be me and feel like thats ok. I just wish I could get to know 'me' before I keep trying to get to know 'you'. I just wish god would stop fucking around and just let me out. I wanna be free. So stop the fear and the pain and unlock me so i can get out. Let me out, i wanna get out.
Maybe if there was one thing i have learnt, it is that you have to look after yourself. Because no-ones really there looking out for you.
"No-one except yourself that is,
No-one except you"
So be kind with yourself (but not unforgiving) and remember that there is always one thing that can keep you alive- hope. Pretty shit I guess but then if you can accept this and forget everything else that you are living for life should be a damn sight easier.
If you've read this far and can see any sense in this post, email me.
|25 Apr 2007||HansVonG.||i know a few folks that hung themselves. sad really. couple of years later LIFE is still moving foward without them. no one remembers them. and thier suicide solved nothing. we where just kids. i played with them. ate and drank with them. cheated on school tests with them. got in trouble with them.
whats really bad about the whole thing is the reason they commited suicide was serious at the time but several years down the road it would have been a mere bump, a pot hole. something trivial. something that wouldnt naturally stop life.
im not gonna tell you not to kill yourself. its your life. you have to make your own way.
what i will say to you is this is my LIFES experiences. maybe they will help you. maybe you have already made up your mind. but i wanted to die many times already. and im still here. living. surviving. and yes suffering.
the cold hard matter-in-factly truth about life is that it isnt fair. i didnt make the rules. and these rules cant be broken or bent. accept this and it will get easier.
you cant change the weather. storms happen. whatever your storm is you survive it. it will pass.
|25 Apr 2007||Ame||I have reasons to end this life. when I was around 8, my classmates picked on me about my weight, and when I was 10, I did something and they all hated me for it even though I have no consciousness about that incident,I didn't know what I was doing, and so I had no real friend up until elementary graduation, but I had one. Yet she turned back on me when I needed it most. When I was sick, i tried to overdose on different medicine but that only prolonged my hospital stay. I was really depressed that time. When I got out, I took an exam at a different school a long way away from them. I was happy that I passed. I thought I had a chance. And there's where I met my real friends. But on the next year, we were separated in different class. Call it shuffle system. And there's where my feel to end kicked back in me. I was in second year then, I have some of my old freshman students with me and others from different sections. I thought that they will be my friends but NO. I was happy that I could help them as much but one time, the entire class asked me for all the materials we needed. the materials can be easily bought. that's where I thought they abuse me. And so they did. I always do the hard work, and they dish out the credit. I only smiled at them but the pain and pressure severes me so. Then, when I visited my best friend, she called me by the name of her classmate. I was shocked, although I didn't show it. I just smiled at her and left. When there are events concerning our class, I get left out especially when it means pairs. I was the only one alone. I was always the one left out.But the face I show was not being pissed but a happy one, a fake one. To tell you the truth, all of my emotions are fake outside. Until someone realized it and has seen through me. During one of out camps, I tried to sleep face down on my pillow to stop breathing. Bad luck, that person was beside me. She tried to wake me up but no use. I passed out. Another time, when we were making bows and arrows, I pretended to practice shooting, the head facing me. Noone notices until blood spilled out. I missed by a few feet from the heart and shot my arm near the wrist instead. I felt alive.
They sent me to the clinic and left me there. No treatment. No first aid. Noone. I was alone. Again. I was muttering to myself,
I want to die
really, I do,
I can't live any further
It will only cause others pain,
If I die,
Then they won't be hurt,
because of me...
Now i'm 13 and about to enter third year high school( I knew you wouldn't believe me), the pain is only starting.
My list of reasons is a long way from what I have told. I hope that there can be a way to end everything, suicide is a permanent solution to an eternal problem.
|22 Apr 2007||HansVonG.||baffeling it is....
why people turn to people when they need help when people is the main problem.
healing is a process. i am working on my process. you could even say i am being processed.
my life is similar to drinking public toilet water in a gas station. i know about suffering so bad you just want it to end.
i also know that is not the answer.
i know that when all hope seems to be lost that if you just keep living that tommorow may bring something better.
i know this from living life.
in the gutter.
|22 Apr 2007||megan||i tried to commit suicide when i was 15 because of some family problems and problems at school...and its not the right way i tried to over dose and then i tried to cut my wrist...my friends found out and went to the school counsler i missed 3 months of school becuase i was in a hospital.. im not 16 and i go to a new school my parents r devorced its still hard but i know im loved and cared about i still go to counciling 1 every 2 weeks...|
|22 Apr 2007||The Heart Broken lil sis||Please,dont anybody on here kill themselves.I havent tried it my ive lost many people due to it.My friend George Palladino,who was like my brother, jumped off the Walt Wjittman Bridge in Philly on Nov. 21,2006.I miss him so much. If your trying to kill yourself first stop and think about the people ur eafecting. i lost 3 people in the past 7 months due to suicide. Im begging u, PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF. It wont make the pain go away because the guilt of what u did and the memories of ur happy days will follow u and ull start to regret it. Dont hurt ur family and friends by doing some stupid shit like that.Im starting to cry just thinking about why my "big bro" jumped of the damn bridge. Please go and get help or whatever u need to do so ur not another precious life ruined.
Love u bro
R.I.P George Palladino
|18 Apr 2007||sara, the twin of ' a fool'.||i have copied and pasted a post from this site that was written in jan. my reason for this is the peroson who wrote the post was my twin sister, please read:
you all wana know about hopelessness? if i'm actually lucky enough that i get 2 fall asleep then when i wake up i think oh shit, here we go again. i dont often get to sleep though. when i was six my older brother devised a game called the list. it was basically his way of getting to molest his baby sister. my parents let him get away with it. i'm 19 now not far from being 20 and although it was 13 years ago i still remember, and of course have never had the chance to talk about it with any1. since then i become a very sick and twisted person, i dont blame my brother, i probably would have been this way anyway. first of all i lie, i mak stuff up for sympathy, i dnt like lying but i cant seem to stop myself, but i'm not lying now cos i dnt need 2. none of you will eva know who i am. second of all, i hurt myself, i'm a fool like that. i dont have any1 anymore, and i never will have. i've dreamt about killing myself for as long as i can remember, i've tried a few times 2. i plan 2 try again, and this time i will suceed. i am of no use to this world. i am of no use to any1. why am i writing all this crap on here? well because my life is that lonely that i have no1 else to tell. to all of you out there who do plan on killing yourself, think first, because if you suceed then there is no turning back, and if you fail your life will be even more fucked up than it is now because people will know and will always know that you're another kid that tried to kill themself. please think. dont end up like me.
she died on 5th jan 2007. i beg all of you reading the posts on this site. don't do it. my sister needed help and our parents ignored her every cry. she was a very unwell girl and felt she had nowhere else to turn. she would never have put the burden of her life onto anyone she loved but she should have done. she was my twin and the very moment she died i felt half my heart and half my soul slip away, never to be recovered. i myself have had the same suicidal thoughts as she did, even more so knowing that i now have to live my life without her. but i feel this intense need to live, to say fuck you to the rest of the world and live my life as i want it. i force myself to hold my head up high and live the life i am meant to, with all its ups and downs. i do this because i dont want to give any1 the satisfaction of thinking that i failed, and now i need to live life for my sister aswell. i need to make her look down on me and feel proud that i have carried on where she could not. please, i beg you all, do not give up hope. i know at times there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel but please believe me there is. just reach out to someone, anyone and they will help you cope, help you see. don't become another statistic, become a surviver and join me in saying fuck you to all those who put you down, make you feel bad, and use you in ways that are not meant to be. don't give up and let urself down as that is worse than death. there is always some1 who cares, even if they are a stranger. thank you for taking the time to read my message, i hope it may be of some help. my love goes out to you all.
|16 Apr 2007||emily||i have experience with a very close friend who i love with all my heart in the suicide department. she tried to kill herself by overdosing. when i heard the words come out of her mouth when she first got out of the hospital, she said "i tried...to kill myself" i will NEVER forget those words. they gave me the worst feeling i have ever felt. ever. to this day i have a huge fear that something will happen to her and i am constantly checking up on her. i do NOT suggest killing yourself. it will most deffinately cause pain in your friends, and family as well (even if you dont think so). i think her suicide attempt effected me more than it did her. i am still suffering from her attempt to kill herself and i thank God everyday that she did not succeed.|
|15 Apr 2007||Anonymous||For everyone on this page:
I found this site totally by accident. The irony is that I have also felt this. I, too, once thought things were so bad the only way I was going to feel better was to die. I was so wrong. Please don't act on what you are feeling right now. Talk to someone, anyone, about how you feel and what you are thinking of doing. If your parents are the problem, fuck 'em. Talk to somebody else. People who you don't even know yet want you to be well. While it seems like most people suck, some don't. Spend the rest of your life trying to find one. You will.
|14 Apr 2007||scott||I'm not preaching and trust me i know the counsellors and shit don't know anything, but u should think about your families and your friends think about the fact that someone is always worse off than you are i tried to overdose repeatedly i tried cutting my wrists and i tried hanging myself.
When my mum found me in my room hanging by a school tie it cut her up so bad and thats whats made me want to say this to you all no one could change my opinion on suicide wen i woz trying for it but please consider your loved ones pick yourself up brush yourself off if anyone laughs at you or calls you names stick your middle finger up and say fuck you same if anyone tells you what to do find someone to love and that will love u back and shit will get better just hold on for a little longer please.
all my love and hopefully a little ray of hope scott peace xx
|14 Apr 2007||ihateme||well.. hi. Im a 15 year old girl from Australia who has so many depressing problems. I've considered suicide, but I really dont think its much of an option for me. I don't want to put my family or friends in any pain, and honestly, i dont think I would be able to pull it off..
Sigh. Does anybody else know what its like to be so painfully shy that its hard to live like a normal person? I find it so hard to socialise.. im always sad and lonely. I feel like such a freak.. Ive also got very low self esteem and I have recently lost about 15 kgs. Its not like im overly fat or anything.. its just.. im not skinny. All of my somewhat "friends" are very skinny.. and i try so hard to fit in. Most of the girls at my school are very pretty and skinny. No guys like me.. i feel so unloved. I've had SO many fights with my friends, when i was 12 (in 2004) i had to have counselling as i was bullied and got very depressed.. My whole class that year hated me.
But really, my biggest problem is that i keep embarrasing myself. Its driving me INSANE!! I feel like im really unlucky.. i get hit in the head with balls, i do stupid things in front of the guy i really like.. i know this doesnt seem like much to complain about. but when it happens so often, it seems like it cant all be a coincidence.
Theres hardly anything i enjoy anymore. Life is hard. I have severe anxiety attacks.
I think many people in the world are just plain mean. I have a boring life and i am so afraid of the future..
Good luck to anyone that feels the way i do..
|11 Apr 2007||flick||i passed out after slitting my wrists at school in the bathroom when i was 13.
but im 16 now.
AND WITH A VENGEANCE
trust me. dont get mad get even
|10 Apr 2007||HLM||OK, I was in a bad mood when I posted on 4-10-07 about the guy who said girls should just leave guys who are mean to them. I'm sorry especially for swearing and spilling my anger all over the place. It was hard to read all the depressed messages from unhappy children on the message board and know that so many kids are suffering and so many other kids have died b/c of their pain and seeing no way out. I think that pretending suicide is a game is a bad way to go, b/c it's so very real and so very bad when it really does happen. I have been suicidal on and off a lot in my life and I'm mostly VERY GLAD that I did NOT KILL MYSELF. Some days are hard and some days are good. But I have seen what suicide does to the survivors and I do not want to do that to my loved ones, especially the ones who have already suffered such losses before. If you are in a situation where you feel like killing yourself is the only option, please reach out to other people for help; find a safe adult to talk with, call a suicide hotline, write in a journal, go to sleep, play with your pet dog or cat, listen to music, write music, do any thing you can think of that is safe and keeps you from taking away your own life. I do not have the answers for why we are on the planet, but I do believe that each person is unique and special, but most of us think we are lower than dirt, just for things that other people also do or think or feel. We have these mean messages in our heads and these awful pains in our hearts that tell us LIES about ourselves and these feelings and thoughts are very powerful, but that does not make them accurate or correct or even "real" as in "true" so we have to find ways to dismantle their power, to build up friendships and good things to do and say and think and feel in our lives. If you cannot stay alive for a whole day, then break it down into little manageable pieces, like 1 hour or 1 minute, and just keep adding up the time until you get past the feeling and thinking of wanting to kill yourself. I think it's important not to "play" suicide, but I also think a lot more people under 13 are thinking about it than grown-ups want to recognize or let on, and we have to find ways to make it okay to talk about feeling that bad. Childhood is not all easy and happy and shiny and fun like some people pretend it is when they tell you it's the best time in your life, what are you complaining about. But suicide is not the answer, especially when you are still a kid and you haven't even gotten to live on your own yet, b/c sometimes that can make things a lot easier on your mind and heart, when you are no longer under the control of people who do not have your best interests as their goals. I have also read that most of the methods that people use to attempt suicide are (1) VERY PAINFUL, and (2) OFTEN UNSUCCESSFUL, so you should not risk it unless you are willing to end up paralyzed or with other problems b/c of brain damage and stuff from what you did to yourself. Again, it's not the best choice to make; you can find so many other things to do with your time and energy, including reaching out to other people who are hurting and helping them understand that they are not alone b/c you know what it's like to feel bad too. And you can play video games or read books or sleep or swim or make friends or go for walks or make art or poetry or sing or study or play sports or hang out with your siblings or meditate or pray or make jewelry or friendship bracelets or play frisbee or get a job and save up money to do something cool in the future. And you can ask for help from teachers, friends, parents, peers, hotlines, support groups. There is NOTHING wrong with needing help; I think that's why we are on this planet for one reason, is to be there for each other, b/c we are not meant to do it all alone. If you are hurting so much that you want to die, you probably have a good reason to feel that way, usually b/c of something bad that someone else did to you or that happened to you or that someone or something made you believe about yourself. Some people want to die b/c they masturbate a lot or are gay or lesbian or because they have been sexually abused or had someone break their heart. These are real reasons to feel really bad for a while, b/c they are hard things to cope with in this world, but they are survivable things too. No matter what you have done or had done to you, you can make a difference in your life right now by choosing not to hate and/or kill yourself, by choosing to believe that you really are already okay just who you are. That I can promise you. Life is hard, I won't lie; and it's not often "fair" either; but it's worth the risk to stay alive. Please have compassion for yourself and understand that you have are not crazy to feel pain or to think you want to die; and that you can choose not to die even when you feel like you want to die; you do not have to act on these feelings. You can find ways to stay alive for another hour or another day and you can find people and things that will help you heal whatever made you feel so awful. I am so amazed by the open and honest sharing of so many kids and adults about their suicidal feelings and the terrible pain of losing a sibling or friend to suicide. You all have inspired me to keep going and I hope I have helped you a little too.|
|07 Apr 2007||-----||best thing to do is find somebody who you love. doesnt have to be of opposite sex or sexual at all. just someone who wont judge you and you can talk to anytime. about an hour away from death mine started talking to me and i pulled through. i hope you ppl are as lucky as me|
|04 Apr 2007||Caitlyn||I'm 16 and I don't think suicide is the answer for anything. When I was 14 I felt like I had a bad life...I had 3 other siblings, Two brothers one was 23 and another who was 16 and a sister who was 25. That's not the part that I thought was bad. It was the fact that my 23 year old brother wanted nothing to do with me and my family. It took long enought to get my 25 year old sister to get involved. I found out that he wanted nothing to do with us which was one reason. I went to a different school than everyone else. I went to a catholic school. We had the same classmates every year and it didn't help when they all hated you. So I went through school being hated by other people for six years strike two. Then my aunt died from a fire in her house. She was of old age but she was one of my best friends. I would go and see her everyday after school and I really miss her still strike three. I had it with life and I though about suicide a lot. I was cutting myself a lot which I thought helped me but it didn't. I cut for about a year. No one could tell. My parents would worry about me when I was staying inside my room everyday. Constantly. Crying everynight. Thinking my life was horrible. I had to think of something to do. I would always try to keep myself busy and around other people because I knew that I wasn't going to be okay alone. The one day I told my mom how I felt and what I was doing. Then one day and she took me to the doctor to have a psych. eval. They found out I was bipolar and they put me on medication for it. Now that I am older I realize what a stupid idea it was, how I really didn't do anything but mess up my body, and how I effected everyone around me. But a couple weeks ago it hit me on what it would feel like to my friends and family if I tried to kill myself. My friend about two or three weeks ago I got a call from a hospital in the city. It was my friend. She was crying and she had told me she tried to kill herself. I started crying. She tried to hang herself. About a week and a half after being in there she finally came home. She came to visit me and she slept over my house two times in the four days that she was home because her and her mother didn't get along. She was home for three days and the fourth day she was at my house. She had slept over. She told me that she didn't feel good and that she wanted to stay home from school. I told my mom and my mom said that she had to talk to my friends mom to see what she says. My mom tried to get hold of her mom but it didn't work. So my mom told my friend to just go to school with me and go to the nurses if you don't feel well. She she went to school. The school had taken her out of class to the nurses and told them that she had to go home for "unsafe" reasons. She had called me that night and talked to me sounding fine. She said she would call me back. About an hour later she called me and said that she was at the hospital. I was like why and she said that she had tried to hang herself again. (her sister found her with the cord around her neck the first time, the next time it was her mom) I freaked out. I thought to myself, "Is she even thinking about how this would affect us, as her best friends, or her family?" I wanted to yell at her but I'm her best friend and I'm there to help her get through this. She didn't call me back that night like she promised and I haven't talked to her since. I am worried about her, and all this suicidal stuff that she's going through is all about a boy. Life's great, if your life is a mess, organize it, if you feel like you're going to hurt yourself, call someone to talk to, go to a friends house, go outside, do something to keep you busy. REMEMBER: If you're given something, cherish it. It's a gift and it's only given once. Love it.|
|31 Mar 2007||dead inside.||i don't want to be here anymore.
not without you.
i am so weak.
why do i need people so much?
everyone always leaves.
everyone that says they care leaves.
i just want someone to hold onto.
just one person.
it wouldn't matter if the whole world hated me...i just need one person's love...thats's all...am i asking for too much?
maybe i am.
i know, i suck.
i should just leave now.
i want to go so bad.
i want to fade away.
i want to disappear.