|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|07 Jun 2007||Anna||I dont know the answer. I have been trying to kill myself with drugs since I was 12. I was a herion addict for 6 years. Now I am on methadone. I have 4 sons that got truly fucked by my and their fathers addiction. I want to die to pay back the pain I caused everyone I hurt. I deserve it. The little girl who started this topic--- I am her long ago. This is how it ends. You grow old and ugly and hate yourself even more.
I dont know a solution. I was in NA, incest survivor, counseling, therapy, for years but was even more insane off drugs. The depression drugs make me more suicidal.
My life sucks. Some peoples lives dont suck though. I know some who are truly happy people. I have asked how they do that. I used to think happy people were sort of retarded in some way. But they arent they are just well adjusted in their brains. The chemicals I suspect. Mine are altered, then add drugs to that and you get fried altered.
I have a truly good job for someone who is on parole. Good jobs are hard to get with criminal records. I had a chance a few years back, to work in an office with a view of the mountains in Colo. 135,000 per year with benifits as a network admin for a huge ISP. I lost it after one month when they found my history.
Read this kiddies. If you dont do something to help yourselves now you will end up like me. Living in the hall of shame trailer park, on methadone, few teeth, with 4 sons and husband dead of overdose. This could be you little girl.
Go find an NA group if you have drug problem. Go find anything that gets you out of your own head.
Do something now or you will try to cure your illness yourself and end up dead on earth living in the hell you created and living with the consequences of your bad choices.
|02 Jun 2007||Liz||Hi guys, if you are a common user of this site, than you will probably recognize me as Liz; the depressed angsty teen in need of love & care.
well, a week has passed. but not just an ordinary week, a significant week to my life.
I was sick of all the bullshit.
I finally decided to fuck over all who dared to fuck me over first.
I was in the bathroom, bleeding all over the fuckin' place. i wasn't crying though, i was all out of tears.
my mental pain was kind of numbed, and i felt so brave, like killing myself was the best thing i would ever do. i had it kind of planned. this time, i had twice as much painkillers and some good vodka. i was planning to cut up my hands, and wright something like 'no feelings', or 'virgin suicide' on the wall in my blood. Hey, if i were gunna die, i wanted to go out with a bang. i wanted something dramatic and hollywood style. after all, lifes always been a movie for me. i was actually gunna do it. i was gunna take the leap! then, i stopped and actually thought about what i was gunna do. this aint right. this site aint right, suicide aint right. dying for love, or passion, or a cause to believe in, thats true suicide! this, this is just teenage angst. i know we feel it's hopeless, and some people do have it bad. but i had hope. besides, i wasn't gunna give up. with this face and body, i could make a decent living. so anyways, i walked out of the school with my smuged mascara and cut up hands. i didn't care how i looked. i spent the day at the river smoking and writing. i got a call from jaime and rach. they asked what had happened to me, why i wasn't at school, and what was going on. i blasted! i told them everything. every thought, every feeling, every attempt i had made at ending my life, and how i was sick of it. i wanted to let them both know that if i were to go soon, it sure as hell would be becuase of them (partly anyway).
thay came to visit me. we hugged and talked like we used to. something rach said stuck in my head; "next time something like this happens, don't give up. never give up. it is NEVER hopeless".
the next morning when i woke up, i was me again. as if by magic. in only a week, i am as happy as ever. i went to battle of the bands on friday. i have my circle of friends back. they all understand me now. now everyone can see me. i went to my first party this year on saterday. everyone was glad to see me. i've got a new love interest too.
i can't believe that just 1 week ago i was writing into a suicide website telling about by angst, and now i can't wait for school tomorrow.
some things that helped me out; blasting! just blast everything out! be drastic and firm and take chances.
witchcraft, an unbelievable force i was always a part of, but now feel free to express.
fill your heart with love, that sounds corny but its true. i have more friends than ever before and it's all becuase i took a risk and let people see the real me.
wow, my life is almost...perfect.
don't be sad, we're beautiful, we're young, and we're reckless.
TAKE CHANCES! it works. so, if your gunna die DO IT, it might be the best thing you've ever done. but, i'm telling you, if you end up half as happy as i am now, you'll be glad you didn't cut that wrist or hang by that rope.
btw, feelin lonely? join a cult! i am part of covanant atm and it's like an instant family!
p.s- thanks mouchette for my own personal website! mouchette has made me a webpage expressing her feelings for the depressed and helpless. if you wish to view the page, go to http://www.mouchette.org/to?Liz,c056b62e6f1e4dfa5d6508955573d747
this will allow you to see what a tru 'saint' she really is. thanks for reading. xoxo Liz
|31 May 2007||Lucky or Unlucky||I am responding to my last post. All that was bs. I was trying to help by making it seem like it was worse than it was. So if you are thinking of sucide please don't! I exagerated the truth thinking that if my experience was worse than others, it might make them feel better. The truth is that I have tried to kill myself but it was the stupidest thing to do. If you are thinking about killing yourself, you need to trust those around you not to judge you or look down on you. They will help you get through tough times. I recently just got out of an adolesent in patient behavioral hospital. It was the best decision i have ever made. I talked to my parents and they had me talk to a shrink. He recommended I spend a few days at this place and it wasn't anything like you might think. I was taken care of and talked to counselors a lot. I feel sooooo much better now. I was put on seroquel which helps me with the voices i was hearing. I sleep better and have no interest or thoughts of killing myself. It was totally worth a few days there to get some help. You need to do the same thing and get help too. PS. the stuff about broken bones, ODing and the abuse from my step dad's was total BS too. The reason I thought about killing myself in the first place was because my bio-dad really did abuse me when I was 3 and 4. Please don't discount my words because I lied in my original post. This is the total truth. Don't hurt yourself!!!!! you are unique and are loved by someone. It would be selfish of you to deny others the love they have for you. You are worth the effort!! Take it from someone who truely KNOWS. No one can ever take your place or fill your shoes no matter what you think. Please trust me. Thanks|
|30 May 2007||Shannon||Don't I know that life can be hard. I have not had an easy life,but it has not been as bad as some peoples.My 19 year old uncle killed himself in Jan.2007. He was stuck on drugs and had his heart broke to many times to count. I loved him so much we grew up together. There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about him. I know that you might think that this life has nothing to offer you but if you hang in there it will show you that you are suppose to be here. Please just DONT DO IT|
|26 May 2007||Tz||TO ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO DIE OF A BROKEN HEART;
I have had my heart smashed up into tiny little pieces. My girlfriend of 3 years, we had an apartment together. We were relaxing in our place, when the front door was smashed down by my good friend and his father. They are both over 6ft 5 tall and the dad was very heavy..
They came to beat me up in front of my girlfriend who unbeknown to me had been sleeping with this friend of mine for a couple of months. She had not found the strength to tell me about this situation and he couldnt wait anymore to be with her, so this was his way of letting me know. The amount of love, masculine, friendship and personal image pain I went through was immense. She was my first partner and lover.
When i managed to come around and speak to her, she slammed the door in my face and left me beaten on the driveway.. I was with her from 15 to almost 19. I am still here. A broken heart heals no matter what!! Yes Ill always remember it, but look at me know, Im on the way to loving again and a successful man in my early 20's.
Focus your negative time and energy, not on trying to kill yourself, but on changing what it is that hurts u so much, u want to die. I was suicidal yes, but when it came to the crunch, I thought of what I could achieve. I hear about her through the grapevine and she and this guy are still together.. They have achieved nothing and shes an unhappy, frightened house wife. It pains me to know this, but i am on my way to becoming a doctor to help people.. Save a live maybe? Start by saving your own and put your time into something you like? I had my music. As heavy metal vocalist/guitarist.. Pick up a pen and stat writing, how about an instrument? Art? Sports? Computing? Gaming? ANYTHING - Advice web-site for people like you? Just get something to keep you coming back to it, as then its another reason to stay one more day! And before you know it, you may just enjoy being alive?!
It worked for me
|26 May 2007||www.overdose-Dontdoit.piczo.com
think before overdosing
|21 May 2007||Vicky||DON'T!!! Even when you think nobody cares about you, and nobody would notice if you were gone, i guarantee that is not true. As a teenager, it is easy to blow things out of proportion. Believe me, I know. I'm 15, and have several friends attempt suicide, as well as having attempted myself. But after I tried, i realized that my life didnt suck THAT much. My mom died when i was little, and i was forced to move to the US from England when my dad remarried (a woman I do not get along with at all). After my mother died, (I was 2) my father got very violent, mostly towards me. He would pin me against the wall or slap me, and if i would cry, he'd hold his hand over my nose and mouth, until i couldnt breathe and stopped crying. I am a horrible student, and my parents (dad and step-mom) are pretty strict (example: i am not allowed to cross my arms because it looks like i dont care)My best friend had just tried to commit suicide, and i had had a huge fight with my father (resulting in a smashed digital camera, a slight dent in the wall)and i tried to drown myself. And then, while i was underwater, i realized how upset my friend would be, even though her life wasnt that great at that time either. I remembered that she told me that i was one of the only reasons she'd not gone through with it...and i didnt want my suidide to possibly cause hers, as she has a lot going for her. You will cause devastation in everyone around yous life, and you will be the cause of more pain than you alone will ever be in. I dont understand how a person can be willing to cause all that pain to other people. See someone, try to talk it out. It doesnt nescasarily have to be somebody with a PhD...it just has to be somebody you trust. Commiting suicide is one of the most selfish things you can do....|
|20 May 2007||lucky or Unlucky||Let me start out by saying that i have tried to kill myself over 14 times.i tried ctting my wrist neck i have OD three times. I have jumped out windows, broken bones, and that is the worst shit I have tried to hang myself everything my life sucked my dad stepdad and third stepdad sexually and phisically abused me they told me to kill myself. i ampaying for thiss evryday so dont end up like me just hold on i dont even know if i will kill myself i dont know if i could try so DONT DO IT! if you need someone to talk to email me at email@example.com|
|20 May 2007||shane||im 15 years old i was duct taped to a chair at 8 yrs of age and a blunt was stuck in my mouth i was forced to smoke the whole thing with in a year i was smoking weed every day at least twice a day by the time i turned 14 (im going to leave it up to u to fill in the yrs im trying to spare the sick shitt)i was adicted to crack cocane meth and alcahol and had abused just about every mood altering substance known to man i was drinking at least 2 handles a day of hard alcahol and smoking up any where from 100 to 1000$ a day getting in and out of trouble constantly still showing up to school (but not putting in much more effort than that)constant ly geetin beaten up jumped and looked at like vomit and that was my life and it was exactly what i wanted it io be i wanted to die and i dident care today i care and i care because someone helped me and today i am atending school i bathe every day i abstane from alcahol and drug abuse i have friends i am liked i am persuing a carere i love myself and my famly i attend aa and narcotics anonimus and i am genuinely and honestly happy if u want to know how i did it and how u can firstname.lastname@example.org is my email|
|18 May 2007||wilma aka locha||My friend miriam just comited suicide and I feel like shit I miss her so much we were so close but now that she's gone I have no1 to talk to
Ppl don't kill urselfs its not worth it ur just making someone else feel alone
|17 May 2007||kristy||when ur young and stupid which u r i hated hearing that when i was in ur place but u must know that some of ur buddies on here r just talking shit i was put in the hopital for 2 days because of a suacide attempt that would have worked if my mother hadent got me to the hopital so fast when ur at that place and time ur not worried bout how much its gonna hurt ur worried bout how much better ur gonna feel i am now 22 i was 14 when i did it i just want to tell u i dont know how i got where i am today but i love where i am now i have 4 kids and live for them everyday and it feels great to have somthin or someone to live for
but when meds or docs dont work for u find somtin or someone to live for
but dont bring kids into ur fucked up life or group of friends untill ur better
in the head cause its all in ur head please write back and let me know what u think
|14 May 2007||angie.||this is awful. lets please stop encouraging someone taht young to take their life.
last year i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, OCD, tourettes, paranoia and insomnia.
my dad is 63 and on the verge of death, do to him being deaf, blind, bipolar, ADHD, narcaleptic and also suffers from post-traumatic stress due to an abusive father, and falling off a three story building while firefighting.
my mother is severely depressed and fights with me and my dad every single day.
i was raped less than a month ago by a man i had met taht same day.
i trusted him.
i started smoking a month ago and have suffered with alcoholism for nearly a year.
when i was younger whitnessed my best friend raped by her older brother and she whitnessed him shoving hangers up inside me.
i have attempted suicide 6 times.
pills, hanging myself, high jump, alcohol, cutting my wrists.
and every fucking time i got close enough until i knew i had to stop.
i knew that the only reason i was doing it was because i was crying out for help.
for someone to hold me and whisper in my ear to tell me everything is okay.
and 7 monhs later it came across to my mom that i needed someone.
i will be 15 next week.
i cant imagine if i had actually been gone from this earth.
now i have good friends, a wonderful thearpist and ive limited myself to a pack a WEEK and drinkning only on weekends.
and soon enough il realize i dont need any of that.
i dnot need to feel pathetic and feel worthless and afraid.
i have to love myself and all i have.
to all the kids under 13, and to everyone else in the world:
IT DOESNT MATTER HOW BAD THINGS ARE,
BECAUSE I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER.
just keep wishing on stars,
and think of a "better place and a better time".
its actually a song.
look on myspace or something.
"better place, better time" by streetlight manifesto.
listen to the whole thing, its 6 minutes long.
whoevers out there who thinks their life is so awful that things can never get better......
dear jesus christ just give yourself one more chance...
you can do it.
i beleive in you.
and i know out there someone loves you and someone will always love you and beleive in you too.
the only thing you have to do now is beleive in yourself...
and love yourself...
because you only have one life.
live and love it.
ill do it if you do it.
|12 May 2007||grey rainbow||well what to say i found this site by chance and from the outlook it seemed like it was trying to promote suicide now readin the things within i m not to sure what to make of it!!!!
well a little about me im and 18 year old bipolar with a schiziod disorder anger issues and avoidant personality disorder, i am going to be like this foever and it will never change i can only try to come to ways wth dealing with it!!! if your wondering why i am this way my bipolar is part genetic and the rest is interlinked and based on stuff i have been through in my life yes i have been shit on but so have many people which makes it so much harder because i often think shit people have it worse im such a bitch for fealing this way!!!!
if or when i die i wnt the people i loved to no i loved them i want to succeed, i want my eternal slumber and rest my weary eyes and lay my soul upon its bed to sleep and rest its feet being here is killing me im dead inside!!!
but if anyone wants my advise dont do it not suicide the mess left behnd is somethign unbearable and if you dont succeed it makes things worse please help yourself before you are like me dreaming of the day you can die!!!!
|12 May 2007||Tally||Hi every one iv thought about suicide in detail but never been brave enough to try and honestly havnt had good reason although im 17 n since i was 4 untill i was ten i was systenaticlly sexually abused by 4 differnt uncles at differnt tymes none of them knowing about the others and i didnt have the courage to speak out because i didnt think any one would beliveme and i didnt want to hurt my mum by telling here this of course over the years admitting these events to myself so i could get over them has caused suicidal thoughts and i have tryed cutting my self but saw teh hurt it caused people around me and becames extremly thin for a person of 5 foot ten i think i have found an answer, well it helps ease the pain and gets you through each day, get a diary and write down every bad thing that has happened to you all the negative thoughts then wen its full up burn it its like cleansing yourself because il tell u what i now have a b/f who knows about my problems but doesnt mind is loving caring and looks out for me a new job and a new bunch of friedns nothing is worth dying for except love if ure rescuing some one from danger but just think of this even if its 1 person in the whole world who cares about you even a tiny bit think how much they will blame your death on themsleves please dont do it take care all of you xoxoxo|
|11 May 2007||What is the best way to write about something as personal as this?
Well, I admit, on several occasions I've harmed my self. Cut my arm and went to my suicide location. Spent sleepness nights, lonely nights, pain filled nights.
What pain? What suffering? What excuses do I have? Well, I don't think I should tell you. I'm not commenting to be torn down by 'reactionaryies' or pro-life visionaries.
However, I'll say this... People respect me, many love me. I have a strong reciprocal adult relationship. I have sex when I want. I work hard, have a nice body, am intelligent and have finished a 1/3 of my work for a hard science PhD. And I am young, but not too young. I practice Yoga several times a week, exercise, and blah , blah I do it right. Stick to it...
Learn to relax, no let me tell you something. Or let me ask you something? Do you really believe in what you believe? Do you really accept God or are you lying to yourself. Have you looked life in the eye? Do you try? Or are you so bloated from what society says or you religion says or you body for that matter, that you can't realize that life is suffering?
And yes, I've been on Prozac, Zoloft, and now on Paxil. And I've even started on Ayurveda, ancient hindu herbal medicine. Does it work? A little... but life is still there beating us in the face?
What are we here for? What do we see in nature? Well let me tell you it is fucking? Or more politely it is procreation and the evolvement of life. Protect life.
We are slaves serving an unknown master for an unknown cause. We are brought into this world and forced to solve problems that we didn't start. Isn't that what a slave does? And then we are suppose to say "thank you, massa. please don't beat me." And then turn our eyes when something happens to our brother or sister or anyone one else, even an animal or an insect.
Turn a blind eye. Yes, how many people can not have the courage, but just look and try to live life and accept it for what it is and not for some imagined state of being?
Because there is a real world. Scientists and engineers make automobiles run and planes fly, they don't do it by magic. It is a reality independent of our beliefs in it.
And scientifically, or logically, what happens after we die? Where are all the dead people? If they are in some mystical realm, wouldn't they have come back for one of us? To tell us in a definitive way? You mean to tell me there isn't anyone who loves us that much to prove it. Not like Jesus and then dissappear for 2000 years, but stay around. Why isn't there a governing council of the dead?
And you want to analyze me? Whatever... if you take anything away from this, remember that there are people who admit that the purpose of life is unknown and good people suffer for no just cause and for the most part when we die we are dead
and when you accept that into your heart, you want to die, without any fantasies around you. However, there are people who have spent their lives looking into the light many scientists, leaders, and ordinary people and have seen the pain and fought on... admitting they didn't know
and those are the people who inspire me, however, who am I or anyone else to cast the stone on another if life gets to hard? Anyways, how much of us is determined by genetics anyways?
|05 May 2007||jess||iv had a crap life
but iv survived
if i can so can u
u can email me or add me on msn at
email@example.com i u wanna talk
|27 Apr 2007||Bennyboi||Its me again, I read something today, it was on this website too! It was made by someone called "Peggy" I would just like to say that the page she typed was truley inspiring and I would also like to say thankyou Peggy,
It only takes a few people to change everything for the worse...
But, it takes just one, just one person to make great changes for the better!
So, if "Peggy" is reading this, thankyou, thankyou peggy!
To anyone else reading this,
"Choose life, we'll miss you if you left this planet. So would those people you were meant to help!
|27 Apr 2007||dead inside.||so there isn't anything to do, and i find myself at this site again. the following will just be random thoughts from my head, so feel free to ignore me. suicide is a crazy thing. this morning was pretty low key at work so i was just standing at my till flipping thru a magazine. the cover story was about Virginia tech. And they had little pictures of the victims and a little about there life. and it gave me the chills. do you think those kids woke up that day thinking they were gonna die? most likely not. some of them were my age. i go to a university too. i don't know if any of you heard of what happened in montreal a few months back. and then there was the columbine thing. why does this happen? it happens over and over, and all society does is make the killers famous. put their pictures all over the tv stations. i understand that in these cases, the killer is also a victim. so why doesn't society try to stop this by going to the main source. all those lonely kids, that sit at the back of the class, and never say a word, and always get picked on...why don't we help them? why don't we try to soften them before they completly lose it? speaking of which, who decides all this anyways. humanity isn't suppose to be a pecking order. who decides whats considererd pretty? Anyone hear of Rena Verk? Her classmates killed her cause she wasn't normal, normal meaning she wasn't thin and pretty. so maybe its all hollywoods fault. aren't they the ones who advertise and define "beauty." They've made a mold, and if you don't fit it, then your weird. i know i am completely going off topic here....but really its all connected. Kids feel bad because they don't look a certain way. because they don't have enough money. because their families aren't happy and complete like the ones in the movies. and then these kids isolate themselves from everything real. and their minds become infected with revenge. revenge for what? they don't even know. all they end up needing is a target. they are only human after all. humans like having someone to blame. and then in the end result, innocent lives are taken. lives are shattered. wives become widows. kids become orphans. parents lose there children. what is my point? i have no fucking clue. humanity puzzles me. it sickens me. it worries me. you never know when its going to end. you have it and then poof, its gone. everything goes away. roses always die. your here for only a short period of time. might as well make the best of it. enjoy what little time you have to live and breath and eat and fuck. yeah life sucks. i know. but keep in mind, this, the whole living bit of it, is just like 10% of the big picture, maybe even less. what comes after it is forever. Think of the word forever. The word itself seems impossible to believe. Forever means it never ends. it just goes on and on and on and on. this bit here, this will end. and when it does, you won't ever get it back. the pain, the misery, the anguish, the suffering...and even the love and happiness....all the stuff that we have to endure, its just temporary. it will go away, whether you let fate handle it or you decide to take into your own hands...either way...it'll still end. so just make the best of the time you have here. ever feel love? like when it completly consumes you? ever lose it? like when that one thing/person is your whole life, they are the reason your heart beats.....and then its gone? all those feelings are beautiful in there own way. the fact that you can feel something, whether it be pain, or love...thats what life is. its those feelings. i have no idea how to explain it further. but like the song says, "i'd rather feel pain, than nothing at all."
this was just a bunch of rambling. i know. if you actually read this, your probably more confused than you were before. -sigh-
i don't even know if mouchette will post this. oh well.
i hope things work out for everyone.
|27 Apr 2007||HansVonG.||what i didnt explain in my last post about surviving storms is what a storm does.
it brings rain which brings life to plants and animals. habitats for reptiles.
and if it brings destruction with the storm then it makes jobs for people which feeds mouths.
your lifes storms while bad do bring good to you.
not all of it is revealed at once.
|27 Apr 2007||just a guy||"When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad that they have to get better."
I think this has to be the most true thing I have ever read. Take another look. This pretty much sums up why I'm still alive, and maybe it also does for you. No matter how bad things are, there is always hope. Hope is the most important thing in the world. Without it we would all be doomed - hope is what makes you study at school, take a job interview, try out for a team. Hope can make you get up in the morning and I suppose it can also keep you living a life that you really wish you never had.
For me, it feels like just whenever I'm maybe about to find the one thing that would make it all worthwhile, it just fucks up. It fucks up so much that I wish i was more than dead... because right now i can't even explain the pain and frustration. It's maddening, like a beautiful summers day.. but then the thick black clouds come rushing in from all four corners of the sky and fill the chest with deadening pressure. Uncontrollable, like something eating away at you from the inside. I just don't fucking like it. Get it out, before it eats my soul.
I just wanna be me and feel like thats ok. I just wish I could get to know 'me' before I keep trying to get to know 'you'. I just wish god would stop fucking around and just let me out. I wanna be free. So stop the fear and the pain and unlock me so i can get out. Let me out, i wanna get out.
Maybe if there was one thing i have learnt, it is that you have to look after yourself. Because no-ones really there looking out for you.
"No-one except yourself that is,
No-one except you"
So be kind with yourself (but not unforgiving) and remember that there is always one thing that can keep you alive- hope. Pretty shit I guess but then if you can accept this and forget everything else that you are living for life should be a damn sight easier.
If you've read this far and can see any sense in this post, email me.