|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|22 Aug 2007||empty||luckily i've never had anything terrible happen to me so i don't know why i want to end my life other than i am miserable every single day. i always feel so utterly alone all the time, even if i'm surrounded by a group of "friends." i also don't have any one really to talk to; no one to really confide in because no one around me really understands. i'm not brave enough to actually commit suicide. i feel like a waste of life and truthfully i lash out at my friends and my parents for no reason, then feel really guilty about it, and cannot do anything to change my situation. i cry myself to sleep practically everyday and i feel everyone would be so much better without me.
the one quote that has helped me get through a lot is: "you can always put off suicide." so what's the risk in taking a chance and having hope that tomorrow will bring some unexpected happiness? it's only 6 words long, but that sentence has helped me so much over the past 7 years. it has even helped me cope with these suicidal thoughts right now. if you had access to some hemlock or something else that would guarantee death, would you actually take it? see, i don't think i have the guts to. and i hope that no one here does either. you have no idea how much reading all of your stories have helped, even in prolonging my life by a few minutes.
|21 Aug 2007||still here....||i'm 14, 15 in 5 days. i have attempted suicide 3 times, and failed every time. so my plan is that if i bottle up all the pain and anger inside me, it will make me stronger, strong enough to take my life away. but then i decided i would give life one last chance, for my friends sake. one year ago, i had a close circle of friends. They supported me and really liked me, or so i thought. you see the truth is, i always knew i was different to other people. When i was as young as four, i dreamt about everyone i love dying and things burning and the world coming to an end, and that's not normal! so when i turned 14 i found my feet and realised i was turning into the person i wanted to be. i was fed up of following the crowd and wanted to become my own person. then things took a turn for the worst, i started to suffer from depression. the people i thought were my "friends" left me and ridiculed me because i was different. i got addicted to alcohol and spent 6 days a week, drunk. then one night when i was out i was quite drunk and i was walking along when a strange man, in his 30's, grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me round the back of the hall, with his hand over my mouth to stop me screaming, yes, i was raped, and he threatened to kill me. every day my depression got worse, until i was diagnosed with manic depression, and saw councellors and psychiatrists every day. and i had no friends left, my own father started to hit me, and tell me that i was a freak and constantly reminded me that i had no friends. that was when i first tried to commit suicide, and failed then i met two people, the only people i could call "real friends" merryn, and matthew. they accepted me for who i am, and that felt good. but merryn moved schools, she wa an hour and a half drive away, and matthew was 20, and he started having a relationship with a girl in my year, and we faded apart. i tried again to end my life, and failed. then i was determined i would not fail again! i got my hands on a large dose of morphine and injected it into my leg, i didn't know where to inject it, but figured it would do the job anyways. i woke up in hospital a few days later, extremely pissed off that i was a failure AGAIN! the doctors said i was very lucky to have survived, but i didnt feel lucky at all! they said that the amount of morphine i took was enough to knock out four horses! and that if id injected it in2 a vein, i would have been dead before id finished injecting! merryn heard about this and came to help me, she said i needed to meet some people who could show me that this life is worth living! and it was true i met loads of people who i love! they are amazing! and i was actually starting to feel a lot better! then just recently my dad banned me from all contact with them! because they are a lot older than me! and he doesn't want me "gettin myself into trouble!" im slipping back into my old ways and i don't want to! i miss my "real friends" so badly! i have no contact with them at all! i can't live without them! and i've told my dad this, but that just gets me a smack in the face! i need help, im too young to leave home, and i cant cope! just when my life was getting back on track, it's been taken away from me! i don't think he wants me to be happy, i think he actually WANTS me to die!|
|15 Aug 2007||anonomous.||Dont kill yourself.
Everything will be okay in the end.
If it's not okay, its not the end.
Killing yourself is just proving to everyone that you gave up.
Then everyone will think lesser of you.
If you make it through it, People will think of you more highly.
I know this for a fact.
|15 Aug 2007||dianne||You want to kill yourself at 13??? I am 26, and I think of doing it still, just this year I have had 2 miscarriages, and life is getting harder. Thinking and doing are 2 different things though! No one said life was meant to be easy, cos it isnt...it's damn hard, but if life wasnt hard, could u just imagine how boring it would be? only cowards commit suicide, because they cant deal with life, so they take the easy way out....well BOOHOO, life has its moments...good and bad...u cant just think of the bad times, otherwise u will end up miserable, make ur own happiness...we are here for a good time not a long time, so make the most of it! how do u want to be remembered? as someone that was always depressed and down? or someone who grabbed a bull by the horns and took on life? dont take the cowards way out...because u just never know what tomorrow or the next day might bring you|
|09 Aug 2007||trying||i tried to kill myself about two years ago i was 14.... my life from the very start has sucked the stuff ive seen and gone through is unimagineable and i finnally decided id had enough.. so i took about 100 tablets i really thought that itd all finnaly be over instead i woke up two weeks later in hospital....i had to stay for 3 months while a psychologist diagnosed me and i have to say i got better but it wasnt the doctore he was a complete idiot... i just finnaly had enough of having to tell ppl how i felt so i stopped i didnt take my medicine i didnt go to counselling and i prtended ntohign ever happened... and now verytime i feel like i cant go on i remind myself that in a few years time itll be different everything and everyone will be different it may sound stupid but its all ive got... doctors cant help me and i know somethings wrong but i honestly thinki can keep going and i know all of u can too.......................|
|08 Aug 2007||kaitlin||For all you people that are thinking about commiting suicide please don't why put your family & friends through pain for the rest of their lives and if not for them for yourselves if you dislike yourself that much get surgery or anything.. Trus me anything is better than suicide i tried to hang myself once in my bedroom my mom came upstairs about 3 minutes later i was choking she cut the rope and she was absolutely crying her eyes out i felt really bad and have never done anything like it sinse i felt terrible watching my mom pour her heart out. And all you young people why the hell would you want to kill yourself you've got your whole life ahead of you and even if you *think* your fat and ugly there are worse off people in the world than you people getting torchoured everyday innocent people children adults its horrible. Youve got your lives ahead of you getting a job first boyfriends/girlfriends n stuff even if your ugly there's someone for everyone i hope this has changed your mind .. if not i really think you should seriously think about it before you do anything suicide is the worst thing in the possible world!!! to be honest i felt like this many of times but yourve just got to look on the bright side really least your on this earth one of gods great creations why commit suicide yeah it may seem good at the time but as soon as the blade or w.e goes in you will regret it trust me life isnt all bad even if ur an ugly bitch like me.. just put ur head up high and fuck the world were all equals were all the same please dont do it were all related some how if not by blood then by love so please dont harm urselves theres no point!! PLEASE!! Love you all xox|
|04 Aug 2007||Kelvin||Im a 16 year old gay high schooler. I get good grades, Im a talented artist and composer. My family is well. I have plenty of good friends. Im over-sensitive, chronically depressed, and i have a family history of suicide. Sometimes I wish I could JUST DISSAPEAR. Im terrorfied of tommorows and shameful of yesterdays. Im too big of a coward to kill myself. I want to die soo bad, but I know I cant. I have loved ones that depend on me being here. People may not appreciate me while Im here, but I know I have a role to play in the grand scheme, and it would be irresponsible to give up. Just because you feel like dieing now doesnt mean you will always feel that way. Everyday is a chance for something wonderful to happen to you, and life only lasts so long, you might as well live it to your very last days. If you want to kill yourself, I beg you to reconsider. I know the impossible weight of life, I know how you must feel so hopeless against, and I know you can overcome it. Whoever you are, know that I love you and that you will be in my prayers.|
|01 Aug 2007||sarah||i cant tell you the best way but im now 21 and living what i would deem a pretty normal and good life however when i was 14 i did try to commit suicide because i thought i wasn't good enough and that i wouldn't end up anywhere decent i got made to think i was useless and a waste of space the only thing i got out of my failed atempt was 3 weeks in hospital and 4 years of pyscotherapy and belive me it wasnt fun if you want to commit suicide my advice would be to put it to the back of your mind and if you still feel that way in a years time do it at the end of the day most people dont suceed but it will make you see things in a different light trust me been there! and as for all you people slagging off the creator of this site well what the fuck you doing here in the first place yes i doo doubt the creator is actually 13 but maybe they are trying to help!!|
|01 Aug 2007||dana||if you want to die at 13 God bless you because your heart is already dead at such a youg age.please reconsider?
i am 39, and grew up an only spoiled rich kid. parents split when i was 16, remarried my mom screwed my bf at the time and i now have a brother from that.
my father never speaks to me, and lives 5 miles up the road.
i have ocd and now i know when i was 8 and afraid to sleep, and had weird thoughts and feelings, i wasnt crazy like dad said i just had mental issues and they have mutated into some form of malignant craziness.i have a great bf, who has taught me to love myself, even tho my parents still, old as they are, kick me down every chance they get and focus only on their new kids and could care less about me or my kids,their grandkids...
life is tough, i have lived in cars, moved 35 times since 18, and now at 39 live in a beat up trailer with holes in the floor, and am on ssi because i cant cope with the public.the rest of my family is rich,but they would not buy me a band aide if i was bleedin.i just dont care anymore..
but you know what? i dint wanna die. i love my home and my life, i love my family even tho they dont really give 2 shits about me. im a black sheep never got the college the rest of the family got.dont want it. im learning to be happy every day with what i have and i know in the future with Gods help and some luck ill be just fine. and you will be too. anyone can die it isnt an accomplishment,living is a true quest.
|28 Jul 2007||reverse mortality.||i feel as though i am growing old watching everyone else living a good life. a life that getting up in the morning is desirable.
i feel like i fallen thru the cracks of socioty. like socioty is burdened with my ability to breathe. i am in a bubble. you cant hear me scream and the hole i have fallen into is so deep echos would distort my cries for help. this world, socioty, isnt for me. not anymore.
when my family ousted me as a young child i lived as a wild dog in the deep Forest. i remember the day i went feral. it is almost a revelation to become as a wild animal.
you become free in a whole new way. to be wild means you would rather starve being free than be well fed in captivity. to be wild means no cop can take you to jail. being wild means you are not afraid to die.
a older wiser friend of mine spoke once to me about the worst kind of dog is one that has gone wild because it doesn't appear to be wild. it has been around man before. and it can walk right up to, and amongst a crowd of humans and no one has a clue the nearby animal has developed a taste for fresh meat.
as i walk amongst the humans i pity them. they are slaves to this socioty. they have not had their inner beast awoken. few know what freedom is. i am a danger to socioty. but if i seek help and i tell a counselor they will lock me up. (there is no help for me.)
I'd rather starve to death.
i have had pet wolves. have you ever looked into the eyes of a wolf looking back at you. the gaze is cold, silent and piercing. penetrating thru you. as if you are not there. they are studying you. they are studying for the exam of do or die. eat or be eaten. live or die. freedom is beautiful.
my family and everyone i have ever had any association with has turned their back on me.
life has taught me many things. my life has been very hard.
have you ever used a tree root for a pillow? have you ever been blamed for a bad drug deal and had people hunt you even in your own neighborhood as you are a man eating bear? have you ever tasted the bitter flavor of rotten tomatoes inside a burger you found in a dumpster? ask yourself if your life is so unbearable you want to kill yourself? I'm not saying i went thru this you can to. maybe you are as strong as i am. but if i didn't find someone finally, that loves me i would be dead now. maybe my fate isnt completed yet. maybe my purpose in life is to be a serial slaughterer. i feel it growing in me. the desire. the one i love is teaching me well i dont know what to call it. but it soothes my inner beast. maybe one day i can have balance in my life. i wrote this to show you that no matter how bad the world is against you maybe, maybe there is hope. maybe if you live long enough you may even find love. i wont tell you its a for sure thing. maybe your fate is to be counted among those who make the suicide statistic head count. i would say i hope not but i dont care. i wrote this more for me than you. after all i am kinda like you. a walking human steak.
the Forest is calling to me.
|23 Jul 2007||Anne||For all those people, childred, kids, teens, adults....who think suicide is the answer to something. I can tell you right now.. it isn't. I do understand how you feel though. By killing yourself all your going to do is make life a living hell for everyone else who cares and loves. And even if u think that no one cares about you.. Remember that people do care. I care.. Thats one of the reasons that I am writing this. When I was young.. I raped and molested by my own father. And i never said anything.. Instead when I was 12.. I started cutting myself. It made me feel better. But the longer i did, the more i did it.. because i guess i got used to it and just one cut wouldnt help anymore. . .
And during that time i did want to kill myself and i did try, but cutting my wrist.. That only left me with a permanent scar, that i may or may not have for the rest of my life. But its been here since i did it.
After that, when i couldnt do it anymore since my mom would always check me for it. I turned to bulimia and anorexia.. that only gave me more problems. I was doing well and i no longer had that sever depression, but at the same time i cant control the eating disorder, so from all the purging and lack of nutrients, My teeth are rotting,(literally), my hair is falling out, i cant go out for long periods of time because I get to weak to even walk. And now my depression is back.. because im loosing things that once mattered to me, Like my teeth..
So now i dont want to die but I going to. Ive tried killing myself other ways too, besides cutting my wrist. I tried pills, starvation, posionous liquid, ... I'm only 15, and i already threw my entire life away.
And for those of you who are under 13 and who are even older, I know it may not feel this way. But you dont need to kill yourself. Take all that wasted energy and use it on something useful. Go after a certain dream you have or something. Everyone has a dream, my dream was dancing, and now I have to kiss that dream goodbye forever, because I cant even walk more then a half an hour. Doctors say my body ever be the same, so it wont even matter anymore.... Im going to die soon and i know it. I can feel it. And i no longer want to..
So please. please. .. im begging u..dont do it.. i know.. i know for fact that everyone is here for a reason, i believe that now. But things werent suppose to be like this for me. I was suppose to be the pretty nice popular girl in school that every one loved and that loved her life, and had a best parents ever and lived in a gorgeous house.. I wasnt suppose to be this way.. but it is.. and theres no going back.
NOOO going back.. once you do something thats it, its no going back. So before you do something that may change the rest of ur life. Just think twice about it..
|21 Jul 2007||none||I hate you stupid people that want to kill yourself because your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you. Guess what, I'm 20 and I've never had a girlfriend, ever. I've never even slept with a girl. That's right I'm a virgin.
I'm fat and no matter what I do, I can't get skinny. That is why I think of suicide.
Some days, I have good days. Good times with friends, etc. Other days, I get crap about my weight from my parents (dad mostly)...or I get looks by other family members because I'm heavy. Family gatherings are the most awkward. I try to avoid them. I am also not financially secure like most of you. I've had a job since I was 14. I've had to pay for everything I own since I could remember. It really pisses me off that these rich kids want to commit suicide. wtf, you are rich, nothing to ever worry about, don't have to get a job, or pay for a car.
(in case you were wondering, I'm 5'11', 265lbs.)...yes I'm fat. I know it.
Anyways, I'm rambling now.
Some days I really want to kill myself, other days I don't. It's hard decision you know? It just really pisses me off that these rich/varsity football/good looking people want to kill themselves. You have such a better quality of life than most.
Well that's my view anyways.
I'll go crawl back into my hole now.....
|20 Jul 2007||Society's Failed Child||I used to be full blown suicidal. The scars are still there from failed attempts. Life got to be so fucking hard that I started not giving a damn about anything. Now I just kill myself off with drugs, insomnia, loneliness, and aggression and dwell like the black widow I am in my own personal hell in dreams and wake.|
|20 Jul 2007||Ellen||I am 49 years old and I regularly think of commiting suicide at some point in the future. I will definately not do it while my mother is alive because we've already lost my dad and my sister and she doesn't need to go through any more stuff.
I also am in a quandry as to where and how I'll do it. I don't want to do it in my room. (I live as a housekeeper with a family with young children so this is not the place)
I think I will go camping and try and find some kind of lethal concoction and hopefully just fall asleep.
Also I will fast for a few days and clean out my system so I don't leave THAT kind of mess either. The body I leave I'm afraid cannot be helped.
Why? I have complex reasons. I've never believed in life at all costs.
Mainly, I am just a total failure. I have never been able to maintain friendships or a decent job. Even as a child I never had friends and the lonliness has carried over into adulthood. Some day I will not be able to work and I refuse to end up on the street or in a nursing home. I am not able to keep a good job either because I fail at everything I do.
Even when I've come close to success I always do somethig to ruin it for myself. I don't mean to but I do. I am talented and consider myself intelligent but I just don't have a decent quality of life.
Now before anyone calls me selfish keep in mind that all I have is myself. I really have no friends and so I try to be my own friend and therefore I am first in my life.
Heaven and hell are not an issue with me--I am an agnostic. I think the concept of heaven and hell is a man-made tale to keep people in line. I guess that makes me a communist since I think it was LENIN who said "Religion is the opiate of the masses."
Anyhow, I feel like I have no control of my life so I seek control of my death. Everyone dies. I would rather choose my own method thank you. I'd rather kill than be killed. Thanks
|19 Jul 2007||Jori||ok people listen commting suicide is NOT selfish its just dumb i understand people that want to do it but its ur life do what u want to liosten my dads brother commiteed suicide when my dad was 15 his brother went to his room layed on the bed found his dads gun put a pillow over his head and shot himself in the head i dont control u but think twice im only 12 but trust me its not worth it hopefully u will take my advice please i love u all and hope god blesses u !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
|19 Jul 2007||Hello, I am new to this site. I just wanted to tell you my story. It's not a suicide story, but a story of my life and the ups and down's of it. You see I am a british pakistani muslim who has been brought up in england. Ever since i was young i have experienced some sort of racism, i remember in year 3 a guy taunting me and shouting "did you fall into a mud puddle you dirty thing". As i grew older and moved onto secondary school, the racism grew and i started to get bullied. I hated every minute of school and was very angry and upset person inside. I was then molested at 12 by my 40 year old cousin. my parents were very strict with me being muslim and didnt let me go out much or have a boyfriend. I felt like the most ugliest person alive and my only friend stopped talking to me and i was all alone. I remember sitting in the toilets at lunchtimes because i had noone to hang out with, i felt like such a looser. thats when i started feeling suicidal, i really really wanted to die. the thing was i just wanted to dissapear, poof, but just not go through the whole process of suicidal; i guess i was just scared. anyways i then went into year 10 where things started to get better, they werent great but just better then they were before. i got a boyfriend but then my parents found out and went crazy at me. i got beaten up, and they still hate me for that now. i finally started to get a bit more confident when i was in 6 form, but the thing was i couldnt completely be happy as i was still in the same enviroment and around the same people as i was when i was depressed and suicidal. i came out with brilliant a levels (well for me ABB) and i am now studying pharmacy at uni. when i went to uni, it was great because it was like starting fresh again, i could be who i wanted to be. at uni i have started to use drugs, it first started off with just cannabis smoking, which lead on to ecstacy and mdma, and then coke and mushrooms and ketamin. i know that drugs shouldn't be the answer, but the drugs have let a part of ME come out. its a me who is amazing and strong and lovely (sorry if i sound pathetic). i know i will never be able to be myself around my parents because to them religion comes first before children and i have been threateened to be disowned. i dont want to loose my family so i keep as good as i can, but my parents still manage to find flaws in me. when i went to university i found out that a lot of my friends had insecurities. one of the most popular and amazing guy at uni, i recently found out self harm. my bestest friend in the world who i found at uni self harmed and was suicidal, i look at her scars and my brain goes into shoked mode. the thing that i have learnt from my life is that, life in general revolves around people and interactions, and thats what keeps us all going. if you are suicidal, then it could be a combination of enviroment and possibly a mental illness such as depression. 13 is too young to be thinking of killing yourself, and that was around the age i wanted to kill myself. But i look back and i do think that if i had ever gone through with it then i wouldn't have found myself. the advice i can give you is just change your environment; change schools, start fresh, when you start fresh you can be whoever you want to be. drugs are bad, but good at the same time. ecstasy, coke and mushrooms (however never take mushrooms when you are depressed) have opened up my mind and made me see things in a different way, which is much more healthier. in all honesty when people say shit makes you stronger, it does but then it doesnt, infact sometimes it makes me weaker. but i just hope that one day i will be rescued. when i look back i didnt TRULY want to commit suicide, i just wanted attention. i wanted to scream at the top of my voice to everyone "YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! I AM A PERSON TOO! WHY DON'T YOU PAY ME ANY GOOD ATTENTION, WHY DON'T YOU TREAT ME LIKE A FUCKING HUMAN BEING! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"
looking back, i do feel like a completely different person. Suicide is never the answer.
|16 Jul 2007||Kim||I know how everyone feels on this site..I tried to kill myself severaltimes. My mom just killed herself 3days ago by shooting herself in the mouth, and I really just feel like doing the same. But I have a 19 month old son and I'm really trying tohold on for him..but my mommy was my best friend and its SO hard to live without her..If anyone even knew half of how i felt rite now u probally would appreciate ur moms alot more..|
|16 Jul 2007||Silverwing||Ok, Right now, the woman I love is wanting to end her life. I have spent the last 4 hours off and on trying to talk her out of it. She found this site, and it has helped make her decide against it. She is the only thing in this world that makes me want to stay in this world at all. Im 27 years old, and I have already been to war for the US, even though that wasnt our role in Bosnia. I have seen horrors and had to commit horror's alike. But what drives me to keep wanting to go on is her. She is the love of my life and ill give everything for her. It took me this long to find her and I wont let her go. Please, beleive in the fact that there is someone out there that loves you, even if you haven't met them yet. I had nearly given up all hope till this year. Then we met, and i haven't wanted for anything else than to have her with me.
So if you see this site and think of suicide, please reconsider. Take it from a man who nearly gave up his own life. Life does get so much better and you will find someone who will love you for you.
|15 Jul 2007||Melinda||To: Alex
Don't take your life. God only gave you one time around. Use it to help other people. When you help others, you help yourself feel better. I am 40 years old and deal with depression every day of my life. I have though of suicide as well. It's not that we actually want to die, we want the pain and the depression to go away. I believe in God and I know that if I take my own life I will end up in Hell. Why don't you read the book 28 minutes in hell. People have to deal with different illnesses in their lifetime, ours is depression. It's hard to make someone understand what we're going through unless they have gone through it themselves. Don't give up. You are too young to waste your life. Find a church and go to it. Heck, don't wait for the church doors to open. Fall on your knees, where you are, and cry to God to help you. He will hear you when you pray earnestly. Know that he loves you and know that even though I don't know you, I care about you and don't want you to do anything to hurt yourself.
|15 Jul 2007||SizzerZ||Guys... there is no reason to kill yourself under thirteen. If the world is screwing you over, screw the world. I went through the whole suicide thing and i found that after i stopped thinking about it and learnt to move on it got so much easier. why kill yourself so young?!|