Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
12 Dec 2009	faeith	Live life, and deal with whatever crap Fate throws your way. Dealing with this pain is the definition of 'living a life'. Happiness cannot be achieved without a price, even if suffering is the price you pay. I am a 21 year old girl, turning 22 in two months, and half my life I am in engaged in an epic battle with Fate. I am living with a KillerPainful-LifeLong-disease, a family that is too far away, a boyfriend who is at times as heartless as heck, and friends who are too busy with their own life. Many a times when I am just too weary, and tired of hurting, I sit with a blade in my hand contemplating death. A sinful bliss. As purpose rewrites the hopelessness pain cancels out the burning anguish calm takes over the rampage insanity while numbness creeps in boisterously silence replaces the stifling sobs as death sets in, disguised as tranquility... But this not how I want go down. I boast to myself, and who ever cares to listen that I am not the kind of person who gives up too easy. So I sit here contemplating death, but not doing anything about it. I think 'this is not going to achieve anything in the end except for ending my suffering, and life is suffering so deal with it'. Live. There’s always going to be a moment That’s going to make life go out of control no escape, forced to bask in its raiment stay and fight, try again to be whole ... Don’t wait till everything around you begins to fall. Live. And, I sit here with a blade aimed to my jugular as I contemplate life...
06 Dec 2009	anonymous	i was full on suicidal for about two weeks because i was heartbroken, i was about 90% of the way there. i had already chosen an overdose as my way of dying. Just remember; "In the end, You will make it through" This is 100% certain. You will always make it through in the end. But the end can be referred to as surviving and dying.
02 Dec 2009	a miscreant of death	what is the point in life? everyday i hate waking up and everyday i hating getting out of my bed. i hate people for turning against me. I hate living day in and day out. just getting through the day is a fight to survive. there are so many ways that i think of how i want to die but it seems to just be a phase im going through that never ends. I understand I dont want to die but there is no other reason to live when not one person, or your recent boyfriend gives a f*ck. im currently fighting everyday to stay alive as well as wanting to die. this has been going on since mid 2005 maybe early 2006. so then why am I still here? obviously I do not want to die as I am still here but everyday I feel the thoughts of not wanting to go on for anything. the recent breakup turned and backfired on me and he has not given a F*&%ing Sh*t about me in who knows how long. I hope he is getting some good sex to realize how much he has hurt me, and to push away the real friend that I am. He has no one else that will ever love or care for him the way I do. Suicide is an option always but why on earth does every one says its not recommended? when everything else fails why would anyone want to keep going on? there is nothing to live for in life right now and like I said this started back when, so obviously I dont want to die but I want the thoughts and depression to just go away! I want him back and I want him to realize he was the one that f&%$ed up and wish he was the old bf that I knew in the beginning. becuz of him, everything going downhill since 2005, depression, im just tired of going on. and im sure I will still be here in a year with the same thoughts and feelings of emptiness and loneliness becuz even I know Im not deserving of love or happiness. it has been proven to me for some time now. write later my miscreants of death.
10 Nov 2009	Titus	Kid I'm sorry but you're nuts. I'm 22 I'm gay I'm a furry, I have a shit job, my parents wish I was dead, I feel like killing myself. but kid, why do you ask this question?there is no good way because it's not a good thing to do. Teen's are a cruel and ruthless bunch of basterds but really come on. you know nothing of the world when you're 13 or younger. you know nothing but the hate s and predgeduce(Sp?) of the teens and teachers around you. You're as depresed about this shit world just like everybodty else is. Call a helpline, and take down this site.
08 Nov 2009	Conscious	I don't know how to start this. Really, it's cliched, but there's no beginning to this. I've, in my life, cycled through so much thought that I have gained extra years of nothing, pent up as bags under my eyes. My emotional state has become void from over use and experimentation. I drift listlessly through days full of shit. At school I watch the others bite down on the bullshit of the world and force them selves into the position of a cog. The driving engine of society is where they will one day go. This I don't have a problem with. . . I wish I could do my homework too, and drop a 4.0 into my life. . .The only problem is when I sit still I can feel the blood moving in my feet and I can't bare the feel any texture. I find myself spending most of this free and uncomfortable time residing my self to various sides of inexistent deputes. . .Shit I don't know, I'd just like to actually learn something from the education system. Not just attempt to form myself into a rigid schedule that in the midst of I have to plan for an impending future. When I see people talk about college and their plans in life, even just buying a car, I cringe. All of the teachers think computers and the internet are the way of the future. . . All it is is forced consumption. So are most things. Everything is just economics and social trends it seems these days. I hate sitting through people having conversations about facebook, if I tried to discuss how social media wasn't that great of an idea no one would listen, there to busy tagging photos and tweeting to hold a conversation. . .I'm sick of gender roles in society, yet the concept of transgender youth is not appealing. All your doing by claiming to be born in the wrong body is keeping a fat cat surgeon rich and defying a specific role for each gender(in essence creating the divide that made you feel so isolated in the first place) Whatever though, do what you will. . .Post-feminism is a term I recently herd used, I think it fits with my thinking. In childhood, irony was cool, but now I guess it's extended to the teenage years. It's so utterly boring to see. Alas, I feel so shitty not learning in my history class. If only it were geared for people interested in learning, not just picking a number at the grocery store of college. . .But I can't complain to much, as I said before I can't do homework well and on time. . .I'd wish to have a bottle of wine right now, I'd be content with my state of affairs. God, I sound like a Bukowski character(minus the enjoyable bouts of traveling). Eh, I see people taking them selves seriously and cringe too. Especially the ones that claim to be taking artistic roads, the more depressed ones, I wonder if they hate me. It's sort of a fun game when people who claim to resent society resent me. I just think about how overproduced and awful their music is, but I just smile and tell them to keep it up. . .Growing up is funny though, you get to better understand people, you know, put them on the same playing field as you and watch how simple they are. I'm really sorry, I'm sounding super pretentious, I don't ever behave like this out loud amongst others, I just have so much fucking anxiety over nothing. . .I'm really sick of waking up in the morning. . .
18 Oct 2009	jimskiii	ayeee boys and girls im jimskii obviously not my real name im 14 and fuck ive had a fucked up life but im not emo and shit have nothing against emos but ive been through alota shhit ive been stabbed and and my bros got in too hard drugs i drink and all that shit and i got expelled and i got kicked out of my dads and all this shit ive been fucked my whole life i had mild skysophrenia i think mm and i dont care if anyone i know reads this just shut up and if any of use nedd help i dont care add me on msn ur more then welcome coz i know how you feel so add me is you feel the need techno_unrated@hotmail.com and if any dickhead motherfuckers add me ill fucking get pissed off take care guys
05 Oct 2009	Instanteaneous	Well, i have had my heart broken many times!, for some reason, to me, love is the best thing in my life. I do care about being successful and what not. I am in college and have a 3.7.One reason why i am doing that well is because i am in love which keeps me going and happy and a reason to be successful and think of my future. Recently, my gf moved to another city becaue of college, a couple hundred miles away. lately, she ignores me and i feel as if shes forgetting me. I am a great bf and i feel that if she breaks up with me i will be depressed and will not know how to handle it. She seems to bethe type that would not cry or care too much about breaking up with a gu since she is very attractive ad knows she can get anyone she wants. I prefer to be in love than to be successful. I wouldn't be surprised if she has been cheating on me :l.Recently, after shetalked to me about breaking up i couldn't stop tearing. I have this small sword maybe a foot and a half long an i cut my chest across to see how it felt and if it would calm me down. i actually couldnt not feel it because of how sad i was. My sadness was way more painfull than hurting myself with a sword.i also cut my throat on the side just to see if it would help fight the other pain i was feeling, emotionally that is. At school when people ask, i would tell them i was in a fight or whatever. I live a normal live and to others i am actually cool. i do not show my emotions, maybe to 2 of my clos friends but thats it. The rest see me as a fun outgoing person when in reality i am sad inside and cannot find the perfect love. I did find the girl of my dreams 4 years ago. She left me and after that i don't think i will find another one like her. The girl im with is nothing compared to her although i treat her like a queen and do everything right while she prefers her friends over me :(. Well if anyone can relate to this in someway reply and try to help? maybe? idk
03 Sep 2009	no i refuse you my name	Slit your wrists as fast and as painfully as you'll break your family's heart. Then, let your blood pool into a dark crypt of self loathing, until one day your mother finds you passed out from blood loss. On that day I was reborn.
02 Sep 2009	SourSonia	If You Are Really Depressed And You DOnt Even Know Why, Then You Probably Have A Good life, A Happy Life, But There Is Always Something Missing, And That Thing Can Be Small Or Large, But It Makes A Difference. That Difference Can Lead To Suicide, Belive Me, Ive Tried A Lot Of Things That All Led Me To Hospital In Fail. If i Had To Choose Another Method Of Death It Would Be Locking Myself In A Garage With One End Of A Hosepipe In The Garage And The Other End In The Exaust Of A Car With The Engine Running. That Is Only Me though, Im 13 And Living My Life As If Its Already Over, Im Dead Inside But That Doesent Mean I Have To Be Dead Physicly Yet, Ive Still Got Stuff To Do In My Life Like Loose My Virginity To The One I Love Or Travel Around The World. Yeah I Will Enjoy It But There Is Still The Missing Peice of My Life, And That For Me Is My Dad, Since He Had Married Again Which Was When i Was 5, Ive Never Seen Him Again. I need A Father Figure In My Life, Not A Shitty Old Boyfriend That Makes Me Feel Like Shit Every Single Day, or A Mother That Mentally Tortures Me, Or A Sister That Got Back With A Person That Had Tried To Rape Me And Dident Get Sent Down For It Or The Little Annoying Brother Who Every Day Tells You To Die Whilst Holding A Knife Up To Your Throat. Some Times It May Feel Like There Is No Way Out Of This Misrible Fucking Life, But If You Think To YourSelf That You Are Strong Then HopeFully You Can OverCome All That. I Admit I Do Have It Pretty Easy Compared To Some People, And I Feel Bad For Those Who have Got it Worse, I Really Do, But Just Dont Give Up Hope On Yourself, Yur Better Than That, And I Figured That Out MySelf, No Anti-Depressants Or That Shit, Just A Lot Of Thinking, I Mean Who Are You Really Trying To Impress! Just Take What I Have Said And Think, Dont Give Up yet, as Much As You Feel You need To, Just Live Your Life First, Then If You Enjoy It, You Wont Have To Come To Death, It Will Find you By Itsself, When You Are Truly ready, and Only Fate Can Decide that. Just Be Happy~ No Matter What!
06 Aug 2009	Paul	I used to think of killing myself when I was 12, 13, 14, 15... and on and on and on I'm 50 now. Was a cop for 25 years, and helped and saved countless lives and turned others around had four children one grandchild they are all good people... yet here I sit still thinking of killing myself 38 years later because I am sad and don't know how to handle the sadness but, sure glad I did not when I was 12 would not have made a difference in the world if I had died in 1970 or shortly thereafter... older but not quite wiser?
04 Aug 2009	Kamilleon	Well, I'm 13. theres a hook in my garage, and we have rope. this is probably the easiest next to shooting yourself, because te most painful part, when you jump off the table and break your neck, it just makes you want to die even more. but the other night, I dreampt of doing this. the garage was decorated like a fortune-tellers hut, and there was a tall lady there next to me. i remember floating, right above where the hook was. the lady helped me through it, like she had done it before. but of course, thats impossible. when I jumped off, the room got darker and darker, and all i could see was the feint glimmer of the candles. then, i started to feel pain. not a physical pain, but a mental pain. It was like regret, longing, sorrow, and fear all at once on maximum power. i imagine that to create that dream, my bodys emotion hormones went on overdrive, because the emotional pain hurt even worse that when my appendix burst. and after i died, i could still feel the emotoinal pain. I felt as if my body, my concience, and my aura BECAME the pain. it grew deeper, and deeper. until it hurt so much, i screamed. in real life. and i woke up. at first, i didnt remember the dream at all. i knew i screamed, but i didnt think about it when i woke up. later that day, i was online. something reminded me of that dream, and soon i was on the floor crying. please, dont commit suicide. my theory is that the last thing you do with your energy, you will be for the rest of existence. and the only time when dieing would feel good is if your a happy person and you were having a good time and died. or of you are a sick person, and you were resting. but a depressed person commiting suicide to end the pain, it doesnt end, you become it.
03 Aug 2009	Shana	That deep dark place where no light enters... its a transitional space. It feels infernal, eternal.. but like all things, it passes. Everything is in passing. Nothing is ever constant. Nothing. Some things last longer than others. Is that a depressing thought? It can be, but it can also be hopefull. Sometimes, you need to LET your world come crashing down around you, and in that silence, when the dust is settling, the noise is over but is still reverberating on in the inside of you. If you sit in that darkness, and let yourself feel the emotions of your world crashing, you will live to see the dust settle, and what is before you is an entire NEW world that you had NO idea about. Eventhough you had no hope for something better.. write about your pain, write through the pain.. sing, paint, dance, play, and live through the pain. The creations from the pain are beautiful.. and you will look back with sadness that you felt so terrible, but you will be happy to have grown to see it.
10 Jul 2009	TWiGGiNS	What is there to this madness? It’s all crazy. Just like me. Maybe that’s why I love this so-called life that I have. For some awkward reason, I kind of enjoy the pain. The inferno in my gut; the ice under my skin. It’s my own favorite brand of drug. Forget heroin or crack. My addiction is suicide. What is this building supposed to be considered? My home? What the hell is a home anyway? I’m not sure if I’ve ever had one. A building filled with cheap furniture and lies is all I’ve ever known. My body feels like its made out of cold steel. Like something you would see out of Edward Scissorhands. Covered in paper skin. Smooth, cold, white: paper. I touch, I listen, I look at, I talk. But I never feel, I never hear, I never see, and I never speak. Even to the people that I do honestly speak to. Even when I do honestly tell someone about this, they don’t ever care enough to do anything about it. They call me lazy? They are the ones who are watching their friend or family member getting torn to shreds. They are the ones watching me lose my mind. They are the ones watching me decay. Slowly but surely. But do they do anything? I think not. They are all way too caught up in their own little daily existences. Because in reality, nobody cares about anybody. It’s all just lies. People say “I love you” all the time. TV, friends, family, music, significant others, ect. But does anyone really know what love is? Can anyone truly define it? I’m literally losing my mind. I’m honestly going crazy. Oh well. Its all in good humor I guess;). I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now. In the back of my brain and the crannies of my imagination I know that I am deeply deeply hurting right now. Sobbing in my stomach. But on the front, I feel happy. Tired, but abnormally happy. Oh well. I guess its just another unknown side effect of being a lunatic:) Cheers, Twiggins<3
04 Jul 2009	Michael Evans	This is the first time in my life I have ever been open to even typing my thoughts on the web to people I don't even no.... Perhaps I am doing this to help me feel better in keeping my sanity. I have always suffered from anxiety and depression. Never once have I complained to anyone about it. Life is a shit hole. Yes, it does have it's ups and downs. I've heard this many times. I have felt at one point in my life the air I breath was taken away from me and woke up gasping for breath. It was at a sense peacefull but scary. I guess the scary part was that I have not ever felt that before. I have came to what may be a conclusion to my thoughts. We are all brought up in diffrent enviorments and situations in life. When somthing traumatic happens there is almost a sense of dispair, which then creates stress, crazy thoughts, and of course actions you cannot take back once done, I guess I am trying to say roll with the puches, which I am getting sick of doing. I will be 30 this year and am again feeling the same I have felt before. This time much worse and have been thinking of suicide alot. My wife has had a friend that just move past this life. At a sense in my own mind this makes me feel okay with moving on as well. I do have a wife and kids. The only thing that is a fact keeping my actions in check is the fact I do have kids. To see there faces and the happiness they feel when I am around. I look at pictures alot more these days to try to keep my mind from constantly dribbling to my dark hole. My phone is a voice peace of pictures every day. When I have my moments I look at my phone. My wife is beggining to think my phone is my life. At this point in time it has been. I don't like to share my demons with family or my wife for the fact I am not looking for sympathy. I just don't know how much longer I can live feeling the constant stress my body produces on an every day basis. I think of the shit my kids will endure now that I brought them into this crapy world. Hopefully I can stay sane long enough to keep the inevitable from happening sooner. Thows that deal with the same feelings I do hope for the best. I just wish I could take my own sympathy and answer my own problem. "Till We Meet Again"...
02 Jul 2009	morula	hello, i m not another suicide story, skip the details, just wanted to warn all of you of the dangers prevailing at dwelling too far to suicide, claiming to want to kill myself, foreas in Germany the threat to suicide is a compulsive element for emprisonment in an hospital , i ll try to be sharp, but do not tell anymore you re about to drown, not your parents, not your best friend you ve got none, not even your dog, i d had an history with pills, failing to die first in february, but was highly on drugs at the time, which i was hiding from the psychiatrists that hitchhiked me at hospital, got out after one week first time, but once month after as i d stoped the phets we were taking, me and my boyfriend having to change places for sake of getting clean again, i stayed in berlin at that moment precisely when i d stoped all the chemical craze my parents cut me the money, they d send me as much to survivre or less i was seriously getting depressed the days i didn t have my grass, started harassing them at night, not so often but talking on the answerphone, telling about all those people who comitted suicide, not only that, how they d fucked up my life, my dad, my mom, unusual scheme i m the bad kid, in the end that s what my father says, because i want to sell my shares in his stupid company he calls me you you shit daughteer you , nothing to be offended by but when they decide to put me in hospital he lies to the judge, says he s given me overamounts of money when he d just been restricting me to the limit of sanity, so one morning, fed up, i drank two beers that let me overloaded with agressivity, phone my mum , the gas people walking in to cut it off, was listening to music too much, horrible mistake not to do it, right here, right now, instead telling me mum i d hang myself, then i left the flat with the doggie helmut, who can away, when i came home the cops had broken into the flat broken the doors, with 112 the firebrigade, shitty mother had phoned the police, alerted the authorities, called upon all bits and pieces of attention she could grasp, help me save my daughter, imagine i d be hanging, they take me down, save my life but not my brain, they took me to the remote place called st joseph, the local warp,was just drunk, and then there you threatened to commit suicide means a judge ll interfere, you re stuck there for two weeks waiting to meet him, when you do he sentences me to 4 additional weeks, fed vitamin K, fallacious drugs, the highest dosis possible, skip the reasons why i m so violently hit, i was chemically lobomitized, could not sense a sign of movement in my mind anymore, no symptom of an emotion whatsoever, of nothing anymore but the devastating conscience of being alive still, waiting the hours aways, counting the minutes, hell one weeks passes by, they tied me up at a bed at first occasion, because i pushed an alarm button, hallucigenic drug injection together with valium, how dare you keep your sanity in those circonstances, i came there as heavy suicidal they broke all my human rights, intentionnally lenghtening the butchery up to the moment where the soul s dead, slow agony in claustrophic containment of one s legs, arms, waist, awakes only a rare sadist vision to me, bondage and torture that s what happens to son of bitches who didn t respect their mother, wreckless junkie, all in awe before my very own rights, if you begin to protest, talk about respect, individual rights, your own, beg, then necessarily insults your executionners more injections, sound like hell what happenes after you re stuck by mummy calling the police to drag you there were you belong, into the arms of a psychotic doctor, a sadist, a nazi, if you ve been familiar with prescription drugs you d appreciate thirty milligrams of zyprexa, 1500 mg of thick antiepileptical sirup, drags you down to nothing, incapable of nothing but eat anymore, can t sleep, can t go to peace, valium, all that bullshit, 6 weeks stuck inside a smoker s room, a harden and one s little psychopath room, waiting for time to drag by so intensely wasted, doesn t think anymore, pharmacollogically prevented from commiting any mental sin whatsoever, no sign of life has been signaled in there, you re dead, walking still, they re telling you you ll never get out, you ll stay there for months and months, till you re no longer the same anymore, you ve been changed, modified, chemically, and morally, that s a sin, a shame, i lose my nerves, called them all nazis, didn t chose my medication, my fate, my destiny- after those 6 weeks and a psychiatric expert interfering to save me i m finally released, may 10 you re out of there, ok but it seems you re strange, no longer the same, they controlled you too long a time, invaded the metabolism of your brains, your emotions, your motives, your dying with depression, worse you feel like the ultimate shit. btrsl break, phone
23 Jun 2009	rusted from the rain.	please don't kill yourselves, it is not worth it. life sucks. but you become numb to the pain. so let it hurt for a while. and then one day you'll wake up and realize that you don't care that it hurts. and it doesn't bother you that you don't care. and slowly life will not be able to hurt you anymore. just keep moving on. from what i hear, 2012 is the end of the world. what's another 2 years, eh? come on kids, just keep moving. it will get easier. trust me.
03 Jun 2009	jessica	hi i have no idea if anyone reads this thread any more, but u r right now so i'll add some of my thoughts i've struggled with depression for most of my life, esp as a child. i can tell u this much. as hard as u think u might have, someone out there has it worse. someone desperately wants to live, but won't be given the opportunity. don't waste ur life. please realize that life is full of ups and downs...u just have to roll with the punches and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. i don't think u can rightfully make the decision to commit suicide, based on only 13 years of ur life. please hang in there...wait it out. at least give it a decent run. ask urself when ur 30...but not now...there is so much that could still happen to turn things around. things i have been: raped, drug user, prostitute, homeless...things i am now: married, a mother, employed, drug-free please hang in there! i did and really it did pay off...
29 May 2009	Jess	I have to say this again. I hate when people say " I know how you feel?" bull shit! I never will say that or understand you but I feel you in a way and I have been there. It takes a while but there is way. Too much to experience and some will be bad but holy damn!!! Soooo much is good! It is so worth it!! Take from someone who tried and died and was brought back. No Joke, 18 years old.. thought what is the point and took a large bottle of of HIV pain meds. Died once and was brought back to see my momma standing above me. That was it. How selfish? Keep looking at the living horizon and walk. With love - Jess
29 May 2009	Jeece	Damn, it really is not the way to go!! You don't think I know how you feel? Waking up in a hole. Hiding in a closet crying and pucking your guts up because of not being able to breath? And worse, putting on a lying smile to all your close family and friends and just hoping one will see through it. Holding a knife and cutting yourself and then trying to hide it? I KNOW!! I have been there... do not choose the exit way. Days change and they do get better. Some days are still screaming and mad but the next day is better. I promise.
21 May 2009		Hey guys, really I was going to do it, but i decided that id give it another chance... And now im happy, eventhough i still have problems, most probably more than what i had at the time, i konw how to deal with it now. I think its a question of getting to know yourself. There was a great entry a while back, it was about a monk and a guy and the reason for life, go check it out. it made me think

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