Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
22 Aug 2002 billy i glad you missed me, trust me i am glad to be back. my body was detained, yet... my mind was somehow set free. like sobriety is some new divine drug.
too bad there are no signs of addiction. too bad there are never any signs of me letting up. thank you. anticipate.
12 Aug 2002 Lucy Cortina YAY! What a joy to be home again! Oh wow..to the awful stench of the bore next door (neighbour) putting awful manure on his garden. Ughh. I wouldn't be surprised if it's his own manure too.
Is there such a thing as vegi-sexuals, do you reckon, Mouchie? If so then HE is one. He spends so much time amongst his cabbages that it's unreal, and probably illegal. He tends to them like a lover would her mans dinner. Why am I surrounded by les idiots?
A few weeks away from the likes of mum, and her abnormally large behind (she could send it off to Africa, I'm sure it'd keep the starving going for at least 12 months) and dad with his 'inventions', such as the spoon that times the egg (LONG STORY!). I suspect while I've been away he's been in my knicker drawer to feed his desire to be a woman.
Ok.. I'm getting a bit dried up now, ain't I?
The point I'm trying to make is that I'M BACK ..and ..um....

where is my Billy?
11 Aug 2002   Where is billy the freak? I want more entertaining stories!!!!!
19 Jul 2002 billy miss lola emailed me with the the following piece. i enjoyed it, and i am sure you will too.


billy
17 Jul 2002 Billy you can call me MR.B i'm 13 and the best way to kill yourself by ODing (over Dose) on LSD so you have fun the last days of your life
13 Jul 2002 Lucy Billy, me too! I'm going on hols soon, not too far from Mouchette's very own land, although this place will not be serving me any frog legs or baguettes (poo!). However it has plenty of sausages to offer me - but, you know, Lucy Cortina always demands the biggest, juicyest and meatyest sausages.
See you all soon.
And Billy mate - ALWAYS wear a rain coat, if you get my drift.
13 Jul 2002 billy i am sorry, but due to tragic circumstances you will not be hearing from me for the next month or so, not forever. so don't worry your little heart, you can't get rid of billy that easy. i'm hooked.
13 Jul 2002 Suicidalgirl 420 Hello fellow suicidal ppl, its me again (although you probably dont remember me cause i havent posted for awhile, but ive been reading everyones elses posts) I just wanted to say that I agree with the ecstasy thing, its unbelievable how good that drug is. And i also wanted to say that Lucy and Billy you are both really funny. Just my drugs and your stories are enough to keep me alive for now, and ppl say this website causes suicides! I think of this website as a place to say your last words, join together with other suicidal ppl and to just let your anger out. Once again thanx Mouchette for making it possible!
Much love,
Shady 420 a.k.a. suicidal girl
11 Jul 2002 annette billy it's just soo hard to try and keep myself alive. everyday is different. one day i am fine, the next day i wanna blow my brains out cause of something, i got into a fight with my friend or something... i think it'd make the world a MUCH better place w/o me. there would be much less problems. but i really apprieciate you trying to help me. thanx:)
11 Jul 2002 billy mitzy, his birth name is kurt donald cobain. any real nirvana fan would know that kurt was a photographer and a painter. you know that picture on the back of the nevermind cover, the one of chim chim with the explosives strapped to his head, and the raw meat in the back round. that was a portrait he used to describe his first sexual experience when the credits came for cover art he told them to spell it kurdt kobain so that there would be some mystery about his name.if you read the liner notes in the cds you see he spells it many different ways, any one is acceptable. he even went to the point of saying ''i hope they think it was somebody else" to quote the great one. he didn't really like the spot light, we all saw how he handled fame.

annette, it is time to get real, it is a dog eat dog world. so they have no respect for you. they treat you like shit, don't give them the satisfaction of pissing on your grave. rise above it become something better. sure you will always have that weird feeling inside, but soon it will be squashed with better feelings. you should be on a platform touching the stars, not one fathom deep.

ps-anyone with tips on wiping the ass email me.
10 Jul 2002 Mitzy Bitch Hey, um Billy, hun, just thought id mention, its kurdt kobain, not curt cobain..... thanx.. oh and hahahaha i hav a very rare and very illegal recording of them live in japan hahahaha..... RIP Kurdt RIP Roy Rivers, and Kelly and Dona, all four of these xcept roy (my m8s brother) killed themselves, he crashed his car in2 a friggin lorry.... i knew dona, i luved her, my boyf knew kelly, he broke her heart wen she died.... i kno loads of ppl say this kinda stuff on this site, but ive seen it from all angles, all im sayin is think b4 u do it, i mean, once ure gone, ure fukin gone, and u leave lonely ppl behind, i know, im suicidal 2, as bad as it gets, i mean panic attacks in the street, paranoia, self harm, alcohol and drugs (hence the name, mitzy pills), it nums the pain but it never takes it away, fucked up shit ye, and i know wat dona was goin thru especially.... she died on the 26th Febuary 2002. think about how much it hurt me wen i found out, ha funny thing is, she only did it cos her mom topped herself. c how much destruction suicide causes? i know wat thats like in a way, my mom was suicidal wen i was 8yrs old, after my dad left. ye lifes not fair and it fuckin hurts, but every1 deserves help, so wake up kids dont b naive, grow up a little and c it from other ppls eyes, the ppl who ure gonna hurt, sad thing about suicide is, it hurts all the ppl u dont want 2 hurt, i learnt that the hard way... i know its hard 2 talk 2 ppl, so the way i do it is ova the web, its easier.... so u know, if u wanna talk, or just rant, email me, its cez45@hotmail.com

peace out
***xxx cez xxx***
10 Jul 2002 Annette billy it's seriously the ONLY way out of all my problems. it's not fair that i'm 14 and have to live a life of miseries. and i think by killing myself it will show other people how important it is to treat people equally and with respect b/c i know i wasn't.
10 Jul 2002 billy you know annette, being dead isn't very cool. killing yourself certainly doesn't make you popular. it doesn't make your parents love you anymore. it doesn't make that ex-boyfriend you thought you loved come back. it doesn't make anything better. you would probably get your name in the local paper under the obituaries. woop dee do. you wouldn't be alive to read it.
think about things that would make your life better. it does get better.
10 Jul 2002 odd_orange oh my billy, you have done it once again. u are hilarious! ..how do u do it? anyway, i just had to say that, u crack me up so much it's not even funny. lucy, too. *my stomach feels sort of upset tonight, things aren't digesting as usual... that damned hot salsa i had. but i took heed of the early warnings of it being spicier than my usual medium. (i asked my mom why she got hot instead of medium, and she said she bougth it for future use in some recipe, she later told me after i had opened the jar.) i wish i was informed of that information before i had a last-minute decision to open a new jar of salsa. although she said it was ok that i used some of it, knowing that she would use it later might have deterred me just enough to the point of deciding not to open the jar, therefore preventing any stomach discomfort from eating the my-head-is-going-to-explode-into-an-ooy-goooy-mess-intensely-hot salsa... so i didn't finish the portion i poured myself in the bowl, too hot for me to handle... i put it back into the jar. no worries for the rest of the family though, i do not double-dip my chips.
09 Jul 2002 billy i bet you are wondering why i stopped calling myself billy is a freak? well, it seems there is a group of people who decides if you're a freak or not. they call themselves the freak recruiting association or f.r.a. for short. so get this, three people show up at my door, well.. .four if you count the siamese twins. they flash these badges at me. "what the hell is going on?" i ask. i guess the bearded lady was the brains of the outfit because she did most of the talking. "let me explain ourselve: since freakshows have been banned from circuses and carnivals we have formed an association which only purpose is to preserve the traditional nature of freakhood." in compleate awe of the situation i let her continue. "it is to our understanding that you claim to be a freak mr. billy". she sounded like joe friday from dragnet. "why yes" i said confidently. her mustache curved with the contour of her lip. i believe she was smiling, i'm not sure. "may we please step in mr. billy? if you cooperate this will only take a moment of your time." she still had that nasty smile. "come on in. i have nothing to hide. i am just as much a freak as any of you." that was the wrong thing to say. the bearded lady was obviously offended by that statement." listen here buddy if you were half the freak i am, i was headlining barnum and bailey's sideshow when you were still a glimmer in you dad's whisky glass!" i shut up. "we put up surveillance cameras all around your house and office. there is no apparent freakyness. tiny here, she points to a 20 inch man who was standing next to a relatively normal looking man, has been hiding in your laundry basket in attempts to find any hidden oddities that might be under your clothes. he reports none". okay i thought. "mr. billy we have reason to believe you're not a freak at all, and to pose as one would be fraudulent and punishable by a 15,000 dollar fine and/or five years in prison by f.r.a. law. as a last attempt to defend myself i pointed to my two front teeth. "look i have a slight overbite and i am fifteen pounds over weight". all four of them laughed at me. "that is hardly enough to classify yourself as a freak" she said as she sat an official looking envelope on my coffee table. "we will show ourselves to the door, good day mr. billy". they then turned and left. first the bearded lady, then the siamese twins, then tiny, then finally the normal looking man who shut the door behind him. which was odd because he shut it with the extra appendage growing out the small of his back. the envelope the freaks left simply said in writing that i will stop referring to myself as a freak or i will pay the consequences. so thought about it. billy the freak is no more. billy the odd, no. billy the imperfect it just doesn't have the same ring. billy will suffice.
09 Jul 2002 billy i am back !!! lucy, odd orange emailed me and told me she thought we were both funny. why don't you say something to her because you don't have an email address posted. you have a fan.

so let me tell you where i've been. i unfortunately have a dial up modem, anybody who knows anything about mp3s knows it takes forever for a song to download when you are on dial up. well anyway nirvana is my favorite band. i check the listings for what nirvana songs come on everyday. i get lucky sometimes and get a demo song or a rare live song and that only makes my nirvana collection more complete. happy happy happy. so of course when saw (NIRVANA: METALLICA ENTER SANDMAN COVER <<VERY FUCKING RARE!!!!!!>>) i got steamy in my loins. i attemped to download it. at first it kept saying user not on line. unhappy unhappy unhappy. i kept at it and finally it started to download. i did not move for the whole three hours it took to download. it excited me to think i would be listening to a song i never heard before by nirvana. at last it said download complete. i played the song, it wasn't a nirvana song at all. it was this song about guys having sex with other guys. i was so disgusted. i slammed my keyboard off my desk and broke it. i finally got a new keyboard. that was a rotten joke to play. that wasn't only disrespecting me, but disrespecting nirvana and curt cobain. i have anger problems.

RIP: curt cobain
08 Jul 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy, where are you? I need my weekly dose of counselling a la sarcasm. Shall I report my parents to the police? They'd be banged up for life for child cruelty if I did. My dad is at the moment singing "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" by Whitney Useless.
I could just about manage to find the strength to switch the PC on. I will now lie here, and die in pain in front of all of you.
(Britney Spears can have my breasts when I'm gone).
07 Jul 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy, I feel for you. My grandad has problems similar to yours. You know what they say... loose lips sink ships, and loose bowels.. er.. scare owls? I dunno. I recommend some Immodium Plus, mixed with salt and milk.
06 Jul 2002 billy lucy!!!, to see you again makes my bowels move in an explosive way, great to see you. remember they are never too big. that's what the typical american male believes. wow, that puts me in such a great mood i will talk about something depressing.

a man can only take so much before he snaps... his fingers and wishes everything would go away, like some miracle granted from on high. to think people say rock bottom is the lowest you can go. i should get a job being a professional excavator.
03 Jul 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy babe, I've hardly no time to be here. I've been subjected to a mum making me go for rides in the country, claiming "it'll do you good!" God knows how being seen in public with your parents will "do you good". It's torture. Death by boredom, not recommended for squeamish folks.
I read in the paper this week that Britney Spears is getting "fat". What, like she stuffed her face with a bowl of lettuce and ate 2 grapes instead of 1? I don't think so... If Britney is fat, then what are the rest of us?

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