|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|31 Jan 2002||Lucy Cortina||"Man! I feel like a woman!"
'My dad is a tranny' story:
I was looking for tweezers in mum and dad's bedroom. Why mum thought I wouldn't find them in dad's tie drawer, I don't know. I did find something very strange in the tie drawer as well as the tweezers. It was a sort of apron thing in a special box. I hope against hope dad is not a transvestite. It'd be more than flesh and blood could stand if I had to 'understand' his feminine side. And me, mum and my sister have to watch whilst he clatters around in one of mum's nighties and fluffy mules... we'll probably have to start calling him Daphne.
I suppose dad was surprised when he came to tackle me about dyeing my hair blond. "At least I'm a real woman!!" I shouted at him. "What in the name of ass is that supposed to mean?" he said. Honestly, he can be so crude sometimes.
After dinner, when dad was doing the washing up, I said casually "Why don't you use your special apron, dad?"
He went ballistic and said I shouldn't go prying through his drawers. I said "I think I have a right to know if my dad is a transvestite!" Mum laughed, which made him even madder. Mum said "Calm down darling, it's just that it's quite funny to think of you as a transvestite". Then she started laughing again. Dad went off to the pub, thank goodness.
Mum said "It's his Masonic apron. You know, that huddly duddly, pulling up one sock, I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine sort of thing".
I smiled and nodded, but I haven't the remotest idea what she was talking about.
|31 Jan 2002||Liz_high_goddess||i think it would be interesting to try to overdose on nutmeg. the spice, nutmeg, can get you very high in small amounts, but claims are made that it can be fatal. Since i have never heard of anyone dying from ingesting nutmeg, i don't know if this claim is valid. But it would be worth a shot, cause if it didn't work, you'd just be really stoned. That canister of regular ground nutmeg in the spice cabinet should do nicely.
i have used nutmeg. it does get you high, but it might make your eyes a little red for an hour or so. so be careful, 'cause people will think you use pot. it wouldn't however show up on any drug test and it's legal, so i do it at work. i am hoping my boss will ask me to take a drug test. this would be very funny to me. if you want advice on using nutmeg, e-mail me. if you try this because of me, e-mail me. if you'd like to know ways of making it not taste bad, e-mail me.
enjoy nutmeg: another great plant from mother nature!
|30 Jan 2002||STVE||OKAY LISTEN UP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. *NONE* OF YOU HAVE HAD IT WORSE THAN I HAVE.. SO FUCK YOU ALL. HAS ANYBODY -- I'M TALKING ANYBODY IN HERE EVER HAVE A NUT RASH??? I DON'T THINK U HAVE. I DOUBT U EVEN KNOW WHAT ONE IS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU WHAT A "NUT RASH" IS. IT'S A RASH ON YOUR FUCKIN NUTS. THAT'S RIGHT A SCROTUM RASH AND IT'S PAINFUL. I GOT ONE AFTER I LET SOME BITCH GIVE ME HEAD AND A 1 HOUR HANDJOB... SHORTLY AFTER (LIKE A DAY OR TWO) I REALIZED THAT MY DICK WAS TURNING RED AND IT BROKE OUT IN A RASH. SINCE THEN, IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS I HAVE SEEN OVER 7 DIFFERENT DERMATOLOGISTS, BEEN PUT ON A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS INCLUDING ANTIFUNGALS AND STEROIDS. AND FINALLY -- FINALLY AFTER FUCKING 2 MONTHS OF SUFFERING THE RASH IS ALMOST COMPLETELY GONE. BUT DAMN. IT TOOK A FUCKIN WHILE. AND EVERY DAY -- EVERY DAY I'M TELLING YOU WAS A LIVING HELL FOR ME. I COULDN'T SIT RIGHT, COULDN'T SLEEP RIGHT, COULDN'T GO OUT AND TALK TO PEOPLE CUZ THE THING WOULD ITCH SO BAD I'D HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE TO FUCKIN ITCH IT. I VISITED THE BATHROOM EVERY 5 MINUTES MY FRIENDS ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG BUT IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING TO TELL THEM U HAVE A FUNGAL RASH ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN PENIS, ISN'T IT ? SO QUIT WHINING ABOUT YOUR STUPID ASS PROBLEMS -- TO THOSE WHO ARE SICK AND IN PHYSICAL PAIN I CAN FINALLY RELATE TO YOU AND I GIVE U MY SYMPATHY CUZ THERE IS NO HELL LIKE THAT. FUCK IT HURT TO WALK TO MY MOTHERFUCKIN CLASSES FOR SO LONG AT THE COLLEGE I'M AT JUST CUZ OF THIS RASH. THANK GOD IT'S GONE BUT IT'LL DAMNNN 2 OR 3 MONTHS OF MY LIFE WASTED AND ALL THAT FUCKIN MONEY. ON TOP OF THAT I WAS ALOONE FOR CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS' I EVEN RAN INTO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND AT A KOREAN RESTAURANT IN ANNANDALE ON THE NIGHT OF CHRISTMAS !!!! I'M SITLL VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT CUZ I'M TOO SCARED TO APPROACH HER AGAIN SO WE JUST STARED AT EACH OTHER LIKE FUCKIN MORONS ACROSS THE RESTAURANT. PLUS I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE ME LIKE THAT -- FUNGAL RASH AND ALL -- AT THE TIME. NOW IT SEEMS LIKE LIFE WOULD BE BETTER CUZ THE RASH IS GONE RIGHT? MAYBE I COULD GO HOME AND CALL HER UP AND VISIT HER ? WRONG. CUZ NOW THAT MY PENAL SKIN IS BACK TO NORMAL MY FUCKIN FACE ISN'T. I HAVE TWO HUGE ZITS ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FUCKING FOREHEAD I WONDER WHEN THE FUCK IT'S GONNA GO AWAY. ANOTHER ONE I POPPED ON MY LEFT CHEEK AND ITS LEFT A RED MARK THAT'S BEEN THERE 5 DAYS ALREADY. AS LONG AS THOSE ARE HERE I AIN'T IN THE MOOD TO CALL ANY EX, OR ANY GIRL FOR THAT MATTER UP. I GO TO CLASS WEARING A VISOR CUZ I DON'T WANT PEOPLE SEEING MY FACE WHICH, WITHOUT THE PIMPLES, WOULD ACTAULLY BE NOT BAD LOOKING. ANYWAYS WELCOME TO MY HELL. AND FUCK YOU MORONS.|
|30 Jan 2002||Lucy Cortina|| "Lesbian Lust"
Someone farted in assembly this morning (I suspect nauseating P.Green). Whoever it was, it was really loud and it was during the silence we were having to think about all the poor people. And it wasn't just a quick one, it was a real knee trembler.
At the moment I'm absolutely frozen. I may have TB. Honestly, Miss Stamp is obviously a sex pervert as well as clearly being a lesbian. Why else would anyone make girls run around in sports knickers hitting a ball with sticks? She calls it hockey - I call it the wanderings of a sick mind. If I miss the party cos of lesbian lust Miss Stamp WILL DIE. SHE WILL DIE.
(and I can vouch for that).
|30 Jan 2002||chris||hey ppl i wrote some shit on the site a while back and i just want to say that im not killing my self b/c i have more to live for. bye bye for now any girls that want to talk plz email me and ill help u to the best of my ability|
|30 Jan 2002||fucked up bitch||when ur like me death is just a part of life, i don't care anymore about anything. but death, now that's something worth thinking about. u see self improvement like masturbation gets you nowhere but self destruction it's worth it.
i wrote this, it just sees what i feel: Death by Obsession
Darkness in me
Fills my mind heart and soul,
It has my spirit trapped
In a prison of burning hell
With my soul rotting by that same plague
My body resembles only death,
And as the darkness grows
So does the obsession,
And so I long to die
On this hell called earth,
My fears disappear,
There's no more pain
Death is here.
|30 Jan 2002||Amanda Ridgeway||Well, i have slit my wrists with a razor and it didn't really hurt... I broke apart a double bladed shaving razor and use those blades because they cut really deep and don't hurt. You are already gone by the time realize how deep you cut yourself... well not in my case unfortunately... but I also overdosed on about 130 iron pills... they will take you out faster than some pills because of the way the iron hits your bloodstream... it is easier to obtain razors and pills when you are under 13 because your parents most likely don't keep tabs on you... and the tiny razors are easier to hide than knives...|
|30 Jan 2002||(insert mildly amusing name here)||During you designated lunch period wander over to the nearest lunch table, climb to the top proclaim you are the one and only GOD then proceed to pull out your trusty 18" machete, or Charlie as I call mine, and test your self decapitation skills (be sure not to forget to aim for the cheerleaders uniforms when bleeding to death).|
|29 Jan 2002||Lucy Cortina||"Sisters are doin' it for themselves"
Today I went for a walk with my sister in her push chair. She was singing "I am the queen, oh I am the queen".
To my absolute shock horror, we bumped into this really hot boy that I fancy. He came over and said Hi. My sister looked casually up at him, and said "I am the queen". He said "Are you?" (ohhh, he's so lovely to children).
Then my sister said "Yes, I am the queen and Lucy did a big poo this morning".
I couldn't believe it. He could not believe it. It was unbelieveable, that's why! I said quickly "Er, well, I'd better be going". He said "Yes cu later". Thinking quickly I said "See you at Kim's party maybe?" and he said "Maybe".
Bloody hell!! Sacre bleu!!
|29 Jan 2002||Sanjay||All of you guys are sooooo unoriginal! This is how you kill urself... in style!
1) Stuff urself into a Cremation oven and turn it on. Make sure you bring a Microwave oven dinner with u, try and eat the food before you melt, see how far u get. Gotta love the irony.
2) Go sky-diving and 'Pretend' ur parachute isn't opening, smash to the ground in a huge splatter. This way if u sabotage ur parachute right, u can get compensation for ur family to help with funeral expenses.
3) What about good old hanging??? Well here's my advice... Get a metal wire and tie a NORMAL knot around ur neck, (Make sure both ends of the wire are reallly long), tie the metal rope on the left side to a fence and the right side of the rope to your mates car. Tell your mate to show you how fast he can do 0-60KPH in. Ur unsuspecting friend will do so, and Slice! U should be decapitated quite quickly.
My dad chose number 3, although he went for the simple old hanging, while overdosed with drugs. I was only 16. Ahhh well, im 18 now and 2yrs wiser. I'll be orite.
|29 Jan 2002||M||I think when I was 13 I tried a cocktail of drugs which I found around the house. I tidied my room just after I'd taken them and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning with no effects of any of the pills. So I tried again that night. It took ages to swallow so many little pills and I knocked it all back with beer. When I woke up again the morning after I realised that God or whatever has decided to punish me by not even getting out of my life. People around me keep dieing but I never get chosen. I'm not too depressed. I have friends and ambition and my family don't want for money. The thing is... I really suck at life. I'm really bad at it. And if you don't like something in your life you can drop out or quit or something. So why shouldn't I throw away the whole thing??? Anyway this is all dull. I think I'm going to try and kill myself. But I don't know how. I guess I'll try pills again but what I'd like to do is get a gun and fire it into my mouth but I have no idea how to do that. All the other options seem a little unreliable, you know????|
|28 Jan 2002||meghan||i don't know, when i was 13 i was wondering the same thing myself. i wish someone would give actual advice instead of just "how could you?" or some shit like that. anyway... on to another instructional page|
|27 Jan 2002||Lucy Cortina|| "Neighbours"
We have 2 neighbours. One of them I call 'The Sea Monster'. All she does all day is shout. She's also ugly and wears tartan, and needs to visit the ugly home with me. The other neighbour I call 'The Bore'. He lives alone, he likes opera music and gardening. He seems to have a relationship with his garden plants (although I dont know if it is sexual). Once a month, he covers his garden with, what I presume are the contents of his toilet. The smell is awful! Eughh.
Also, I suspect my mum is having an affair with him. She pops round to his house every few days, taking doughnuts for him. Ahhh!!! What if he becomes my stepdad???
Why can't the neighbours commit suicide? PLEASE LORD!
|27 Jan 2002||-----||Actually, I've attempted suicide about 12 times and I was thinking if you would like some help with your page or if you have any questions then email me at Softball_Ace13@hotmail.com I loved this page so Keep in touch eh? oh if i don't respond then you know why.|
|27 Jan 2002||Lucy Cortina||Well I am quite flattered. Thanx! Happy Birthday (I'm not sure I believe it's your birthday - why would you want to be looking at our sad posts when it is your birthday? You should be having a party and dressing as a stuffed olive like I did) As a matter of interest how old are you? I'd say you are older than me. I'm 16. Anyway, gotta go now - dad is cooking, and I can smell smoke!
|27 Jan 2002||Guardian||Me again, I just wanted to let you all know, the only reason I came here in the first place was to figure out a less painful way kill myself. Cutting yourself deep enough to actually do any damage is a lot harder than one would think, unless you have an extremely sharp knife. Anyway... I just found an amusing poem, thought I'd share it :
Razors pain you, rivers are dammed
Acid stains you, drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful, nooses give
Gas smells awful! you might as well live.
How true. Someone come shoot up my school, so I don't have to do it myself, how about you, oh ye suicidal 13 year old nut?
|27 Jan 2002||The boss here||Lucy Cortina darling,
This board is updated only once a week or so, although I read it everyday. So if you want want to make me laugh, please keep posting everyday, if you want to make all the visitors laugh, just post once a week.
It is my birthday today and I am god to this site, so I may break all rules, even my own, that's why I updated your postings before the rest.
-1* they really made me laugh, and I wished I'd been close to suicide so that they would have saved my life.
-2* you didn't mention any email so you didn't need to receive the automated message for the suicide board participants in a weekly group sending as I usually do, and I wanted to publish your postings on the spot, this is why you thought for a moment you were the only one to post. But you're not. It's always quite busy here, several postings per day.
-3*answering someone on the suicide board is something I never ever did before, but since it's my birthday today, I wanted to do something unusual.
|27 Jan 2002||Lucy Cortina||By the way, am I the only one posting on this site at the moment? I really love to see the sometimes funny posts of others who are only half there.|
|27 Jan 2002||Lucy Cortina||It's like this. I've decided that I'm going to make regular posts on this website. And to be honest, suicide is far too boring so I'm gonna try and cheer up you people, and make you realise that life is worth living. And I'm gonna put a title to my posts.
"I use it to keep my balls still"
> At school, my teacher (not the lesbian) was illustrating a point with the aid of some billiard balls on a tea towel on his desk. So I put my hand up and asked him: "What part does the tea towel play in the molecular structure?" This is when he made his fateful mistake - he said "Ah no, I merely use the tea towel to keep my balls still". It was pandemonium. I could not stop laughing! So you see, if you feel suicidal just get a video of Friends or somethin and have a laugh. Life isn't so bad!
|27 Jan 2002||Renegade-X||MY MISSION FOR GOD
When I was under 13, I threatened suicide to my parents by drinking petroleum solvents. But they convinced me not to, for I would get sick first, so I abandoned the idea. Then when I was 11 1/2, I tried electrocuting myself, but still, my efforts were futile.
My suggestion to you is if you can't find a GOOD WAY TO KILL YOURSELF, then you should wait until your a little older, for there will be a lot better creative opportunities available.
I'm now just 3 days from turning 18 and I am scheduled to die this summer. I'm was or still am a self-mutilator, I have a developing psychotic disorder, as my pussy-ass shrink says. I have been treated for years, but nothing helps.
I also have Asperger's Syndrome (an autistic spectrum disorder), which is why no motherfucker can ever understand me. But now, I've realized what kind of person I am. I am older and wiser, but my life is still going to hell. So I want to die now! For if I don't, I'll drift more into insanity and probably soon end up in a mental hospital again, like last year when I tried overdosing on Advils while in school.
I will be doing this in the name of God, for it will maybe lessen the corruption of today's society. But mostly, I want it to have a great effect on my family, because of the suffering they have inflicted upon me. Especially my step-mom, who's been abusive to me for most of my childhood. Even though she's a very religious Jew, the fat, ugly bitch still doesn't understand the act of kindness. She entitles her daughter, my stepsister every right in the house, while posing so many restrictions on me. Hopefully, my horrible death will cause emotional harm to my entire family, including my mother, for divorcing my father, and my father, for remarrying to that chicken-head.
Another reason why I'm doing this is because I feel that the world is coming to an end, especially after the September 11 incident, I feel that there is nothing left in this world for me. Since I was 11 1/2, I had such a huge interest in aviation and I've always wanted to learn how to fly. But now, after I heard about how a handful of highly motivated terrorists could turn 4 civilian airliners into guided buzz-bombs loaded with Jet-A, I feel like I've lost all my pleasures in life. There is nothing left!
It's not just the Islamic militants, Neo-Nazis, drunks, drug abusers, other psychotic maniacs (like the mother who drowned her children in the bathtub), criminals, and other lowlifes that I blame for taking everything away from all of us. It's the entire human population that fucks everything up, ever-since Adam bit into the forbidden fruit. Ever-since the serpent convinced him to perform that first sin.
Before the Hebrews could be led into the Land of Israel, they were given 2 choices, to sign a covenant, agreeing that they would, for life, follow all of God's commandments. If not, they were to walk the desert for 40 years.
Self, annihilation as it says, is condemned in Judaism and Christianity. I totally have no belief in this because I know that in my heart that this is only a man-made law that some self-proud imbecile inscribed in the Holy Torah, or wherever else. I, for certain, do not believe that God ever condemned suicide, saying that he, the omni-present, the King of the Universe, can only be the arbitrator of who will and will not pass from this earth. He only mentioned that Thou Shall Not Kill another man. He never mentioned that Thou Shall not take your own life, for he has left that up to us.
As God created man, he had entitled everyone in that form to receive, love, pain, happiness, grief, sorrow, anger, envy, and disease and punishment. But most of all, he gave us all free will. A free will to do anything. But we all have abused this privilege by committing murder, theft, sex crimes, and pain among the helpless and feeble souls. If this is how we are to live, then we show God that we hate him and his creation, for wanting to live as a human being is a sin. I'd say because of this, it would make God more secure if we all killed ourselves.
Pride is one of the 7 deadly sins around. The Jews and Christians and others are a rogue religious group comprised of nations and organizations who take pride in who they are and tend to preserve their traditions and sinful legacies. They condemn suicide because they want to fight against what is right for humanity. What I believe in is a healthy way to remove the tumors of this society. I kind of have the mind of Young Goodman Brown, huh?
I have no pride in who I am, because I know that I am part of the sinful nation and that I must be punished, for I must redeem myself. At this very moment, my skin crawls with maggots and lice, because I'm an ugly-looking four-legged animal called a human being.
The Jews and Christians and others, take too much pride in themselves, thinking that they make up the good of the people. No fancy clothes, jewelry, cunning personality, or generosity will ever hide from me who they really are, for they all and everyone who doesn't follow the right path of salvation is part of the sinful nation and is doomed to the eternal fire. If they all had the mind like me, they'd all grab a box cutter and carve a mark on their foreheads so when onlookers pass by them, they'd know who they really are.
God gave us free will in order for us to do the right thing, not to kill others in cold blood. He truly welcomes suicide as a healthy way to cleanse a nation of its sins. Even though it may anger him, he still shows love and compassion to those who have no where to turn.
I have chosen the best way to die.
I'm 18 now and as mentioned before. If you want to die right, you must be patient and wait for the right window of opportunity. As for me, I now have legal access to a hunting rifle or a shotgun. Even before when I was still a minor, I was able to purchase two high-powered CO2 air pistols with no problem. But I will not attempt to kill myself with them because they do not have enough power to inflict serious damage, but it'll cause me more pain and if not for any internal bleeding, it'll take days for me to die of lead poisoning and I'd probably just end up in a hospital bed.
If you want to die right and do not have a criminal record, do what I will do.
I will go to the nearest Dick's Sporting Goods store and purchase a 12 gauge shotgun (a good one like a Mossberg Trophy with a cool scope). I'll have to sneak it into the house somehow; maybe by throwing it up on the roof so that I can fish it from my bedroom window. If my parents find out, they'll tear my ass up so bad.
But I'll find the best time to purchase it by finding out what day they'll go out shopping. I'll ask if I can borrow one of their cars, and if they agree, then I have a shot. There is no other safe way to transport the fucker, so sticking it in the trunk and driving home is the only fastest and legal way to get it without risking the fucking cops.
When it's time for me to die, I will make sure that my parents are out of the house shopping or something else. I will discharge their cell-phone batteries so they can't call for help when they get back. I will take all my shit to the backyard, where there's concrete foundation that's used for the deck. That will be used for my cremation pyre. I will cut the phone lines and use an axe to smash the telephone interface box so that communications will be cut off.
Finally, I will douse myself in gasoline and light a match, causing myself to go up in flames. And at last, I will stick the shotgun barrel in my mouth, making sure that the muzzle makes positive contact with the upper palate and pull the trigger. The ammo I'll use will be 12 GA. Copper Sabots, to ensure that my skull explodes instantly, spilling my brains and shit all over the wall of the house while my stepsister's grandmother watches helplessly from the window.
I can imagine that my funeral will be just like the one for Mathew Feiner, a kid in our community who killed himself. I heard that he ODd on pills, put a bag over his head and blew his brains out with his pistol. One thing that makes no sense to me is him putting that bag over his head , even though he knew he was going to put a hole in it. Even though I cried over his death that Saturday night even though I didn't know who the guy was, I praise him for what he was done.
I've seen how his death had sent a shockwave throughout the whole community. First his family, then our school, even though he didn't go there. I am truly proud of him, for he really set an example for us. I just can't wait to meet him when my time comes. In the meantime, my family will be chanting,
"Yisgadal v'yiskadash sh'mei rabbah."
Oh, and to all You motherfuckers who do not respect our goals and try to turn us away from our deeds of self-annihilation, well Fuck You! We don't care about your bullshit suggestions. You may think you're trying to help, but your not. You're the ones who make our lives horrible and you rob us of our freedom. You are the bullies who torment us in school. Fuck you assholes! Fuck you! You can't stop us from killing ourselves. No matter how many rude comments or any help suggestions you add to this site, you can't stop us.
We are One. We will increase and our bodies will clog the cemetery grounds. We are many, we are star-crossed. We are powered by the will of thanatopsis and YOU LITTLE SHITS ARE NOTHING! I suggest that ya'll should log off now and instead, go fuck yourselves with a bag over your heads so that YOU ALL WILL DIE like the rest of us. But if you're too chicken, why don't ya'll take a sledge-hammer and smash your modems into pieces so that you can never go on this site and bother us again with your lame-ass excuses for living in hell!
No one will try to stop me from killing myself. Just a note to any of you who try to impede my goal. If you're a teacher, my parent, or any other bitch, don't you ever, I mean ever get into my way! For if you do, I will seriously fuck up your mind and physical being so bad, that you will wish that God made you without testicles.
I mean it! If you ever step onto my property, I will handcuff you to the fence that makes up the perimeter of my backyard, and beat you up with the butt of my shotgun. Then, I will make you watch me kill myself. You will even taste my blood and brains as they splatters everywhere. You'll be a live witness to my suicide.
And to any police who'll try the same. You may have sent me to the hospital last time. I've spent 9 fucking days locked up because of you, PIGS! You may think you've won, but this time, I'll be ready and I'll execute my plan. DON'T EVER INTERLOPE!
Remember, I will have all my guns with me all the time and I can and will use deadly force at all times. Do not come near my house. I will keep my scanner on at all times and I have all the police frequencies programmed. I'm as good as dead, so it'll do no good trying to save me. If you come into my property, I will take one of you out with my shotgun and the other one of you will have to shoot me back. If you do, please try to hit me in the heart or the head so that I'll die instantly.. That's supposed to be your role as a law officer. You're nothing but a couple of Nazis who make it hard for everyone else. I hope you all die and go to hell, fuckers!
If any of you are like me, can you please e-mail me at:
I've always wanted to hold a conversation with someone who's gone through the same shit as I had.