Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
05 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina "Lesbian Lust 2"

In line with my resolution to concentrate on school and not boys I went to do yoga in the school gym at lunchtime. My routine is called 'The Sun Salute' and you stretch up to welcome the sun and then bend down as if to say "I am not worthy".
Miss Stamp came in just as I was doing dog pose. "Don't let me disturb you. I'm glad you're taking an interest in yoga, it's very good for the body". Well, I was upside-down with my bottom sticking up in the air. Not something you want to do in front of a lesbian. So I quickly went into cobra but that made it look like I was sticking my breasts out at her. I think she may be growing a beard as well as a moustache. Maybe she's a transexual? Now there's a teribble thought!...
05 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina "Call of the wild"

We have a cat called Angus. He's a scottish wildcat. He often has these 'Call of the wild' episodes. I remember when we found him... I should've guessed all was not well when I picked him up and he started savaging my cardigan. "He'll die here, he has no mummy or daddy" I pleaded so we could keep him. My dad said "He's probably eaten them". Eventually we brought him home. I didn't realise that he would grow to the size of a labrador, only madder. I used to take him for walks on a lead, but as I explained to Mrs next-door, he ate it.
Mrs next-door has complained that Angus stalks her poodle. I explained "He's a wildcat, that's what they do, they stalk their prey". Why doesn't she get a bigger dog? The stupid yappy thing annoys Angus.
05 Feb 2002 jon D Hey, nutmeg girl, your e mail address isn't valid. I tried to e mail you but it didn't work. please post here again with info, please.
05 Feb 2002   choke on a happy meal toy
05 Feb 2002 alli i think you should be at least 12 before you decide to kill yourself. however, if i was a young person, i would slit my wrists and throat. overdosing would be easier though
05 Feb 2002 Mike The best way to kill (and most fun way to ghost) yourself when you're under 13 would be to go skydiving while sitting on a big trampoline (no parachute)... this way u get the largest amount of free fall time possible and then once you and the trampoline hit the ground you will be bounced a couple stories into the air then splat!
Assuming you don't pass out from the speed, the trampoline doesn't just collapse when it hits the ground and you can stay w/ the trampoline all the way down... you'll have a kick ass time!
have fun w/ this one kid
04 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina "Elvis lives!"

We have a school caretaker who we call Elvis. He has that funny hair, u know. He's also one of the most dull men I've ever set my eyes on. Anyway, today I was leaning near Elvis' hut at breaktime. I saw him put on his coat and get his shopping bag... what a wally he looked. I had nothing else to do so I decided to sit in his hut for a while, and enjoy the life of a caretaker. There was nothing much in the hut - a chair, table, a little fridge and some magazines he'd been reading. I sat down and flicked through them... and my jaw nearly dropped off. Because they were naughty magazines, if u know what I mean. Called 'Fiesta' and 'Bad Girls'. One of them was called 'Down your way', and was full of candid photos of readers and their wives in the privacy of their homes. Some of them were so fat!! I flicked through the pages to the centrefold. And it was ELVIS and MRS ELVIS!!!! NAKED!!!!! I couldn't believe it. Elvis naked. Elvis was standing by the kettle naked, pretending to make a cup of coffee and Mrs Elvis was doing the ironing naked!!!
I took the mag with me and passed it around the whole class. We were laughing all afternoon, someone only had to say "Fancy a cup of coffee my dear?" and we'd be off again!
Elvis knows someone has got his mag but he can't say anything. When he was getting his lunch we all said together "Can I get you a cup of coffee sir?" Hahahahahahaha, ain't life sweet?
04 Feb 2002 Just a Girl Dear Everyone:

I am sorry. I don't know why I did it, I was depressed for a long time, I didn't want to tell anyone. I hoped someone would notice, no one did. I thought I wanted to die. Now I realize I didn't want to kill all of me just the part that hurt so bad. It wasn't like I thought it would be. I mean I wanted to see everyone cry and talk about how great I was, get a little boost and then come back and say "Hahaha FUCK ALL OF YOU NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME!" but it wasn't like that. The girls who laughed at me in school... I heard one of them say "Well too bad, so sad, hate to see ya go" then they still laughed, that was the minute I decided they didn't matter at all.... too late. I saw my best friends, who I loved, crying, I still love them but can't let them know. She needed me one day, that's my little sister she needed advise and I wasn't there to give it to her, I still need her too but I'm not here, it's too late. My dog lays on my bed but I can't pet him, I still want to, it's too late. I was on level 9 on my new game and I wanted to beat it, now that doesn't matter, it's too late. My favorite band has a new song out but I can't hear it, it's to late. My Mom made my favorite dinner but I can't eat it now, it's too late. My parents have decided they can't dwell on "it", I have become an "it" to them they are trying to 'forget' me. That's not why I wanted to die, I wanted to make it better not be forgotten. I want to go back and change things. I could have if I was still alive... I didn't believe it then I wish I could have known, it's too late now. Oh well the pain in Death is worse than the pain I felt in life, this is eternal pain without a need for change... there is no God, there is no Heaven or Hell, you are your own God, you decide your own fate, I chose mine.
I want to Live. But it's too late for me... But not for you.

Just a Girl
04 Feb 2002 jo hill i think this is a great site. you are wonderful little fly. i love it. only close-minded assholes don't want to face up to reality- and suicide is really real, guys. swallow it. and i love lucy cortina's stories too. i've gotten some good info here, but not enough specifics, which makes sense because those who are sure of the details are gone. i'm not 13 or under, but like many here have spent most of my adult life depressed. i just turned 33, which incidentally was how old jesus was when he was crucified. if i could figure out how to pull that one off, that would be a peach. so for under 13's, i agree with the recent lad who suggested the car exhaust. as an adult, i have access to pharmaceuticals. one helpful guy suggested eating first, so as not to upset the stomach and puke it all up again. i think i may have also heard that you need to pace the intake, but i'm afraid i might pass out before i ingest a lethal dosage. so how fast can you really swallow lots of pills on a full stomach without wasting all your hard effort and puking them up? i'm talking pain and sleeping pills (vicodin, darvocet, ...) thanks to anyone who can provide some helpful info.
03 Feb 2002 doktor hans Pretend to be a witch. Some1 will tie you up & take u to the nearest volcano. they will throw u in and poof! you have your suicide!
03 Feb 2002 why was I born? Be me and live my life.
03 Feb 2002 nico grow up
03 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina "Oops! She did it again"

Last night I was sat watching TV with my sister on my knee. Mum came in and said "ohh, you look so sweet together.. I remember when you were that age.. blah blah blah..." Oh god, here we go, the 'How did my little girl get so big?' routine. Sure enough, Mum's eyes got all watery and she started stroking my hair (v.annoying!) and started to say "how did my little girl get so big?"
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) my sister let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her. I pushed her off my knee.. Eughhhh!...
Grandad farted once when we were out in the street. Really loudly. There was a posh-looking-woman behind him walking her dachshund dog. You know, those little sausage dog things (*). The woman heard grandad's fart (who didn't?) and she said "Well really!!"
And grandad said "I'm terribly sorry, madam, I seem to have shot the legs off your dog!" (*)
02 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina Well well well... I see there's been a few dog fights here. Deary me. Honestly, this is a civilised website, you should be ashamed of yourselves!
No jokes today Mouchette, sorry. I need to put my thinking cap on and come up with something. Can't have you dying on us now, can I? Something funny I saw on Tv last night though: there was this talkshow about sexual 'experiences'. A man was on, claiming his g/friend chained him to a bed with handcuffs. She then came in with some baby oil, and hit him on the ass, saying "You naughty boy!!" then when he turned around to look, it was his girlfriend's mum! hahaha
02 Feb 2002 (this is irrelevant) It is my belief that that boy who flew a light aircraft into the sky scraper had been looking at this site before doing so. I've looked through these miserable sad pages, and seen a few times suggestions of flying planes into buildings and so on. How do you sleep at night mouchette? huh? knowing that this website provides a mine of ideas and information to the whole world. how would you feel if you caused something terrible to happen cos of publishing these sick sick ideas? huh u wanka? what if someone decided to go and shoot all the kids in their school cos of reading it on here? one thing for sure i'm gonna report this site to a lot of people. i bet you've already had a lot of complaints. and so u should. u won't get away with this, sickman!
02 Feb 2002 S.Oppy Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains.
02 Feb 2002 Francine I bet that 95% of you in here are all from the US, right? It's not hard to see that. Who else would whitter on and on about 'society this... society that...' bla bla... and it's obviously easy to get yr hands on a gun in america. so why don't u try live in the Uk, Australia, France, Germany.. and so on? That'd be a better solution i reckon. now i'm not sayin that life in the Uk (where i live) is a box of chocolates cos it ain't. but i think the pace of life over here is slower, which may be the reason why our suicide rate is considerably lower than the US. don't get me wrong - i'm no racist, but obviously there's a difference.
02 Feb 2002 The Real Mouchette Just to let you know who the Real Boss Here is, I even publish some crap from people pretending to be me (see below). No, I'm not closing down my site. Not in the near future.
And as long as Lucy Cortina writes her daily story, I shall want to live one more day to know what she will write next.

I want to remind every reader of the Suicide Kit board that everything here is published by hand by someone who reads it, occasionally corrects some typos and puts it online (or not). Ok?
And this person is Me: The Real Mouchette.
02 Feb 2002 The boss here Just to let you all know, I will be closing down my site within the next 2 months. What do you think of that, Lucy Cortina? I would like to say I am very pleased with the success of my website these past few years, but the time has come for me to move on. THANKYOU ALL!!!
02 Feb 2002 Miss vagina Be the angry man that shouted at Britney spears, claiming that she says "baby, dont u wanna have sex with me?" in 'slave 4 u'. only to find out that she just says "baby, dont you wanna dance upon me?". Too late, you attacked her and got squashed by that great big oaf she has for a security guard. Death is instant.

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