|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|07 Feb 2002||jo hill||i posted a couple of days ago, looking for pill information. it's 4 am now and i've been having a very very bad night. i got online to check this site and my mail to see if there were any helpful suggestions about pharmaceutical suicide for me. instead i found the following email from a friend who lives in europe. i haven't heard from him in 2 years. i apologize to him for reprinting this, and advise you that english is not his native tongue, which is what makes his writing style so charming.
first of all: happy birthday! It has been quite a long time that you have been blessing this world with your presence, and this deserves celebration. Reading newspapers I often arrive to the conclusion (and I think you share this point of view) that this, should be the most horrible planet of the Universe, or better said, since the Earth is a beautiful place, after all, the planet inhabited by the most horrible and destructive of the species. In this moments of crisis it is always good to think a bit, and then you arrive to the conclusion that this world is horrible, but we always have Josephina Hill. It may seem little, if you think it like that, but it makes all the difference. You are this little bit of salt that transforms a dish not even acceptable for dogs into a dish of a three stars michelin restaurant; you are the litle candle that changes the darkness of the horrible dungeon into the romantic cavern, or the peace of the chaple. You are the litle water that makes grown flowers in the dryest dessert. Although you will understand better what I mean if I tell you, that for me, and for many in this crazy world, you are the little whisky that makes coca-cola interesting.
In another words, I thank God to have created you (a work so fine and so excellent, that only can be the work of someone not only almighty, but also good to the infinite), that He put you in my way, and that I have had the chance of meeting you, of sharing some whiskys, some interesting discussions, some good moments in some good places, and a whole lot of great letters.
It is just the last one, the pretty Christmas card that you send me (what a difference with myself) that made me remember how nice you are. A real friend. However, once again, I see that you've been suffering for the international situation, for the twin towers atack, for the reaction of your country, the war, the Middle East situation, the new budget, etc.
Well, let me tell you, that, for once, I probably share your point of view on all the subjects. I must add my shame for the humiliating response of the European Union to the situation. So far so bad. What worries me most, however is YOUR suffering. It is true, we are in the middle of a mess, the world is colapsing, nothing is going well. It is difficult to be happy in such conditions, but Jo-see, it is not your fault. You were born in the USA but you are not the president. Your country has done wonderful things as well. If you can do something to change the situation, well. If you can read, think, try to understand it, wonderful. But don't feel think it around, don't feel sad. Look for the good things of your life. You have your family, your friends, and you can even see Oscar Peterson LIFE!!!! (I feel jealous).
I have always asked for your prayers. I'm sure that they have help me a lot during this decade that we have been friends. And I feel thankful to you for them (of course prayers mix well with whisky. One thing does not contradict the other, and I'm also thankful for the whiskies we have taken toghether). But since we have been most of the time separated by 8.000 miles, it is good to ask a Common Friend to look after one another. So I'm going to pray for you now. It is my turn. I'm going to pray the Lord, that you have in you the same peace that the world needs; that He keeps you the big heart that makes you involved in other people problems, but at the same time, that He protects it against anxiety or grief. Of course I pray the Lord that he find a nice guy to you, and not like the two stupid blind fellows that were incapable of realizing the kind of girlfriend that they had just found. If some day they found a diamond in the street they will probably kick it.
Well, Jo-see, just tell you that I will pray for you. I'm sorry this is not one of the good old letters of the past. A computer is not like the good old pen, and it is quite late at the night of a long working day. But I'm determined to write something more digne of your eyes for the next letter. I just wanted to reply anyhow to your postcard with the promise of a normal letter with news from myself and my life in the capital of Europe. But before, please, let me hear from you.
wow. that letter sure stopped me in my tracks. fate, chance, serendipity, God? that i should receive this tonight? (to be cliche), in the moment of my darkest hour? it's potently obvious that i can't kill myself tonight. probably not for a little while yet.
|06 Feb 2002||Marian||I used to feel suicidal but realized the way things go in my life I would only mess it up and either be in more pain than I'm in or be a vegetable for the rest of my life. I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life like that so I got a good religious counsellor and he's been helping me with my problems. It really does help|
|06 Feb 2002||Randall Flippin||I'm up in age but not too old. Life sucks now and nothing matters anymore. Please help me end this painlessly.|
|05 Feb 2002||screw u||By selling your soul to me.... I'll pay a LOT for it.|
|05 Feb 2002||maus haus||Be a naughty boy! A lot of people on this site are very naughty, and need a little spanky.|
|05 Feb 2002||jo hill||i definitely think reading entries here will delay some people and make them really think about what they're planning to do. it also helps relieve the isolation, which is a big HUGE part of the problem. i think the sheer gamut of postings (hysterical, ranting, angry, sad, all ages....) makes one realize that it's a pervasive, complex, far-reaching issue and deserves respect, even from one suicidal person to another. it can validate peoples' feelings of isolation and hopelessness. any dialogue is better than none. that being said, i also respect one's right to commit suicide. if it is a cry for help, it should be botched. if it really is a suicide, it should be done right. it's hard to get good information from an anonymous (ie non-judgmental) source.
also, as a footnote, i think that the actual 'planning ' of the suicide can have a calming effect. the more detailed the better. it gives a person a sense of control over their destiny or future, which of course is absent from any other aspect of life. if one recognizes that one can control one's own death, maybe one has more control over life than previously thought? or two?
|05 Feb 2002||Lucy Cortina||"Lesbian Lust 2"
In line with my resolution to concentrate on school and not boys I went to do yoga in the school gym at lunchtime. My routine is called 'The Sun Salute' and you stretch up to welcome the sun and then bend down as if to say "I am not worthy".
Miss Stamp came in just as I was doing dog pose. "Don't let me disturb you. I'm glad you're taking an interest in yoga, it's very good for the body". Well, I was upside-down with my bottom sticking up in the air. Not something you want to do in front of a lesbian. So I quickly went into cobra but that made it look like I was sticking my breasts out at her. I think she may be growing a beard as well as a moustache. Maybe she's a transexual? Now there's a teribble thought!...
|05 Feb 2002||Lucy Cortina||"Call of the wild"
We have a cat called Angus. He's a scottish wildcat. He often has these 'Call of the wild' episodes. I remember when we found him... I should've guessed all was not well when I picked him up and he started savaging my cardigan. "He'll die here, he has no mummy or daddy" I pleaded so we could keep him. My dad said "He's probably eaten them". Eventually we brought him home. I didn't realise that he would grow to the size of a labrador, only madder. I used to take him for walks on a lead, but as I explained to Mrs next-door, he ate it.
Mrs next-door has complained that Angus stalks her poodle. I explained "He's a wildcat, that's what they do, they stalk their prey". Why doesn't she get a bigger dog? The stupid yappy thing annoys Angus.
|05 Feb 2002||jon D||Hey, nutmeg girl, your e mail address isn't valid. I tried to e mail you but it didn't work. please post here again with info, please.|
|05 Feb 2002||choke on a happy meal toy|
|05 Feb 2002||alli||i think you should be at least 12 before you decide to kill yourself. however, if i was a young person, i would slit my wrists and throat. overdosing would be easier though|
|05 Feb 2002||Mike||The best way to kill (and most fun way to ghost) yourself when you're under 13 would be to go skydiving while sitting on a big trampoline (no parachute)... this way u get the largest amount of free fall time possible and then once you and the trampoline hit the ground you will be bounced a couple stories into the air then splat!
Assuming you don't pass out from the speed, the trampoline doesn't just collapse when it hits the ground and you can stay w/ the trampoline all the way down... you'll have a kick ass time!
have fun w/ this one kid
|04 Feb 2002||Lucy Cortina||"Elvis lives!"
We have a school caretaker who we call Elvis. He has that funny hair, u know. He's also one of the most dull men I've ever set my eyes on. Anyway, today I was leaning near Elvis' hut at breaktime. I saw him put on his coat and get his shopping bag... what a wally he looked. I had nothing else to do so I decided to sit in his hut for a while, and enjoy the life of a caretaker. There was nothing much in the hut - a chair, table, a little fridge and some magazines he'd been reading. I sat down and flicked through them... and my jaw nearly dropped off. Because they were naughty magazines, if u know what I mean. Called 'Fiesta' and 'Bad Girls'. One of them was called 'Down your way', and was full of candid photos of readers and their wives in the privacy of their homes. Some of them were so fat!! I flicked through the pages to the centrefold. And it was ELVIS and MRS ELVIS!!!! NAKED!!!!! I couldn't believe it. Elvis naked. Elvis was standing by the kettle naked, pretending to make a cup of coffee and Mrs Elvis was doing the ironing naked!!!
I took the mag with me and passed it around the whole class. We were laughing all afternoon, someone only had to say "Fancy a cup of coffee my dear?" and we'd be off again!
Elvis knows someone has got his mag but he can't say anything. When he was getting his lunch we all said together "Can I get you a cup of coffee sir?" Hahahahahahaha, ain't life sweet?
|04 Feb 2002||Just a Girl||Dear Everyone:
I am sorry. I don't know why I did it, I was depressed for a long time, I didn't want to tell anyone. I hoped someone would notice, no one did. I thought I wanted to die. Now I realize I didn't want to kill all of me just the part that hurt so bad. It wasn't like I thought it would be. I mean I wanted to see everyone cry and talk about how great I was, get a little boost and then come back and say "Hahaha FUCK ALL OF YOU NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME!" but it wasn't like that. The girls who laughed at me in school... I heard one of them say "Well too bad, so sad, hate to see ya go" then they still laughed, that was the minute I decided they didn't matter at all.... too late. I saw my best friends, who I loved, crying, I still love them but can't let them know. She needed me one day, that's my little sister she needed advise and I wasn't there to give it to her, I still need her too but I'm not here, it's too late. My dog lays on my bed but I can't pet him, I still want to, it's too late. I was on level 9 on my new game and I wanted to beat it, now that doesn't matter, it's too late. My favorite band has a new song out but I can't hear it, it's to late. My Mom made my favorite dinner but I can't eat it now, it's too late. My parents have decided they can't dwell on "it", I have become an "it" to them they are trying to 'forget' me. That's not why I wanted to die, I wanted to make it better not be forgotten. I want to go back and change things. I could have if I was still alive... I didn't believe it then I wish I could have known, it's too late now. Oh well the pain in Death is worse than the pain I felt in life, this is eternal pain without a need for change... there is no God, there is no Heaven or Hell, you are your own God, you decide your own fate, I chose mine.
I want to Live. But it's too late for me... But not for you.
Just a Girl
|04 Feb 2002||jo hill||i think this is a great site. you are wonderful little fly. i love it. only close-minded assholes don't want to face up to reality- and suicide is really real, guys. swallow it. and i love lucy cortina's stories too. i've gotten some good info here, but not enough specifics, which makes sense because those who are sure of the details are gone. i'm not 13 or under, but like many here have spent most of my adult life depressed. i just turned 33, which incidentally was how old jesus was when he was crucified. if i could figure out how to pull that one off, that would be a peach. so for under 13's, i agree with the recent lad who suggested the car exhaust. as an adult, i have access to pharmaceuticals. one helpful guy suggested eating first, so as not to upset the stomach and puke it all up again. i think i may have also heard that you need to pace the intake, but i'm afraid i might pass out before i ingest a lethal dosage. so how fast can you really swallow lots of pills on a full stomach without wasting all your hard effort and puking them up? i'm talking pain and sleeping pills (vicodin, darvocet, ...) thanks to anyone who can provide some helpful info.|
|03 Feb 2002||doktor hans||Pretend to be a witch. Some1 will tie you up & take u to the nearest volcano. they will throw u in and poof! you have your suicide!|
|03 Feb 2002||why was I born?||Be me and live my life.|
|03 Feb 2002||nico||grow up|
|03 Feb 2002||Lucy Cortina||"Oops! She did it again"
Last night I was sat watching TV with my sister on my knee. Mum came in and said "ohh, you look so sweet together.. I remember when you were that age.. blah blah blah..." Oh god, here we go, the 'How did my little girl get so big?' routine. Sure enough, Mum's eyes got all watery and she started stroking my hair (v.annoying!) and started to say "how did my little girl get so big?"
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) my sister let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her. I pushed her off my knee.. Eughhhh!...
Grandad farted once when we were out in the street. Really loudly. There was a posh-looking-woman behind him walking her dachshund dog. You know, those little sausage dog things (*). The woman heard grandad's fart (who didn't?) and she said "Well really!!"
And grandad said "I'm terribly sorry, madam, I seem to have shot the legs off your dog!" (*)
|02 Feb 2002||Lucy Cortina||Well well well... I see there's been a few dog fights here. Deary me. Honestly, this is a civilised website, you should be ashamed of yourselves!
No jokes today Mouchette, sorry. I need to put my thinking cap on and come up with something. Can't have you dying on us now, can I? Something funny I saw on Tv last night though: there was this talkshow about sexual 'experiences'. A man was on, claiming his g/friend chained him to a bed with handcuffs. She then came in with some baby oil, and hit him on the ass, saying "You naughty boy!!" then when he turned around to look, it was his girlfriend's mum! hahaha