Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
11 Aug 2002 Elephant Masturation In my opinion, you're gay as hell if you commit suicide. Now here's the gay way you should do it! It's like a 12 step program.
Step 1: Strip naked. (You MUST strip naked for suicide to work.)
Step 2: Find several different knives.
Step 3: Throw the knives at an unexpecting mcdonalds employee and steal their uniform.
Step 4: Show up in your new uniform at the circus. And make sure you have some extra knives left over, you'll need them later.
Step 5: Rape a clown. (Don't forget to rape a clown or you won't die. And we know you wanna die, don't u?)
Step 6: When the clown is finished having sex with you, gouge its fucking eyes out.
Step 7: Take your bloody clown eyes and feed them to one of the elephants.
Step 8: Jack off all of the of the elephants.
Step 9: Collect the elephant semen and attempt to drown yourself in it.
Step 10: You will not succeed because elephants moan really loud when they orgasm and the circus trainers will find you and try to kick the crap out of you. That's what the knives are for. Stab them like there's no tomorrow. (which they're won't be if ur commiting suicide)
Step 11: Okay now that you are in a blood/cum soaked McDonalds uniform, you've raped and killed a clown, whacked off elephants, and killed their trainers, you need to do this. Go home, you fag.
Step 12: Slap yourself in the face repeatedly because suicide is for fucking morons who are whiny little bitches.
11 Aug 2002 Jeanie Well, I don't recommend killin yourself because if you fuck up or if you get scared you won't succeed and be in lots of pain on top of that. But if you have no reason left to live (by the way SEX is considered a reasonable reason to stay alive... lol)...

But if you wanna die for sure you need to get someone else to do it:
1) you could get involved with gangs. (get some yummy drugs while you at it :D)
2) run away from home walkin a busy city at night. pay extra close attention to alleys and back roads.
3) if you're just 13 and can't get hold of a gun... get a knife (they're easy to get... just go to the kitchen) and hold someone hostage with the knife to their throat and your back to a wall so nobody could jump you without you getting hurt. And pretend like you're crazy and say your gonna kill her/him. Then right when they think you gonna give up... hold the girl out in front of you (where they have a clear shot) and swing around the blade to where they are forced to shoot you. If you don't die with the first shot keep swinging the knife at him/her and the cops till they are forced to kill you.
3) If you can get a gun bust into a police station shooting (can shoot over peoples heads if you don't want to kill anyone)... the police would be forced to kill you and your parents might get a good setlement out of the deal.
4) Take as many ectasy pills as you can find
5) IF ALL ELSE FAILS... DRINK DRANO (hurts like a bitch, but it would get the job done)

I still don't think killin yaself is all too good... but if ya gonna do it.. you wanna get it right.
11 Aug 2002   Where is billy the freak? I want more entertaining stories!!!!!
10 Aug 2002 An old regular PS - About the only best comment I have seen after re-reading is "Is this a dating site?" Haha.
That is comedy - simple and sharp, and oh so inoccent.
10 Aug 2002 An old regular Mouchette, I fear your site is going down the pan. Coming here was once a joy, now I get bored seeing the first entries. It's bad enough with their illiteracy and net lingo, but puh - leaze!!!
Sort it out.

(Ps - what do you gain from this site? Inspiration? Is it some sort of controlled government survey, to test todays teens? Will it end up on the news in ten years time or something? I'm surprised that no one in high authority has contacted you about this site and taking it down. Just shows what a fucked up world we have these days, dunnit?)
10 Aug 2002 Tha1andonlybitch i say tha best way damn way to go is to make a big scene out of it, do a terrorist act, be like that osama bin laden guy, he was fuckin awsome sending people to crash into a building killing others, n-e who blow something up, or hijack a plane and write a note leaving it somewhere in your house or something saying you did it for osama. shit ima do that. he,he. n-e who make a big scene its kewler.
10 Aug 2002 noah well wen i kill myself im going to go in the freezer of my school and freeze to death and then wen people look in it they will c my dead ass
10 Aug 2002 Middle Finger W Smile On My Face I am a 13 yr old willing to pay someone to come kill me. Please I am desperate and you can do anything you please, or want, with me before, during, or after I'm dead. I'll pay ya 100,000,000.
10 Aug 2002 noah if u want to die u should just put on big rubber boots and fill them with sand and go to the public pool and jump in and then u will drown nice and slow
09 Aug 2002 a+/tok3/antoine me regarder "vivre"
09 Aug 2002 sarah lapierre Dear Mouchette, I wrote what it did because i have tried to kill myself by sliting my wrists and it didn't work otherwise i wouldn't be here typin to you. my family and friends helped me get better and i wrote that if you're not sure about it that you should take a look at your life to see if it's worth killing yourself over. Please write back if i can be of any help other people or if you just want to talk.
08 Aug 2002 Mike For Orgy (with e-mail > but it doesn't work)

Hi Orgy,

I've read your opinion at the site -
and I'd like to "talk" to you, a bit at least althoug it'll be kinda monologue when just e-mailing... ;-))

Simply, I'd rather listen to feelings as for your pain and reason why do you have such suicidal feelings...
It'd be also really good to read this :

By the way I'm not a pastor, not as old as I could be your parents, I'm just Mike from Czechoslovakia and if you'd like to have a talk, just let me know. Mostly I check my e-mail in the evening about 7 or 8 p.m. (Central Europe Time) or in in the morning about 5 a.m. (CET).

And I'd like also to express my opinion to your arguments in the add on that page:
"...No one will come up to you and tell you that you did a good job resisting ..."
From your whole add I can suppose you've met just such people as you described it there but be sure there are also some stupid ones here, in Czechoslovakia - but there are also very fine people too who became my friends as well...
Most best friends I have among buddhists, not only for I like His Holiness Dalai Lama (try to have a look at the film "7 years in Tibet" with that actor - hhm, I can't remember his name but he's married with Ms Atkonson, hmm, I'm sure you'll remember his name ;-)
Also another cool film is "NELL" with Jodie Foster or some of Steven Seagal...

I hope to listen from you yet and soon ;-)

Have faith that you will eventually move past feeling stunned and emotionally wounded. It takes time to heal and reach a place where you can begin to feel whole again. Over time, as difficult as it is to believe, the raging storm and hurricane winds you feel will gradually subside and become the gentle warm summer rain.

With best wishes

08 Aug 2002 Fist Fuckt Hello, I've tried everything I can to kill myself and nothing seems to help. There's always someone there gettin in my way and stoppin me. I've tried everything and anything but I can't seem to die. Shot myself, drugs an drinkin, jumped off a cliff, jumped off a bridge, cut up my arms and everything, fucked somestuff and ppl too. I just aint got a clue in how to kill myself. Could ya offer me some advice on how to instead of how not too . P.S.- I steal, lie, and cheat and I break the rules and all the laws like I'm gonna run off with my papaws car now and see if I can wreck, bye bye until then and if not, Bye Forever.
08 Aug 2002 Sparky I think a gun with an enormous bullet needs to be in the kit, along with a little pamphlet on "The proper way to point the gun" to ensure a quick and unsalvageable death. This way, kids 13 and under can shoot themselves and guarantee that the rest of us have one less stupid ass teen in the world. Hurray!
08 Aug 2002 Fuck You OH FRICKEN MY!!!!! I am so tired of hearing people whine about their attempts. IT IS SO GODDAMN EASY TO KILL YOUR FUCKING SELF!!!!! Only morons can't do it right!!! People who bitch about their attempts are only crying for help...and this is NOT the place to do that. Quit begging for attention by half-ass attempts and do it right, or shut up!!!!! Go out and get help, since you obviously want it.
08 Aug 2002 No Help Neccessary Hi I'm gonna try once again to kill myself with pills and drinkin. Thats all I can think of to do and my head hurts so much from all this bullshit and so much thinkin.
08 Aug 2002 samantha vernon a lot of toothpaste works but i'd take some tylenal pm before. you don't want to throw up, also make sure not to wake up and the toothpaste will eventually put you in a coma
08 Aug 2002 My Blue Arm There's something smelly goin on around here. All I've been smellin is something dead. It stinks real bad and it makes me wanna puke. What could it be?
07 Aug 2002 MiZeSuiCiDaL Homicide suicide. Kill your parents then yourself......
07 Aug 2002 Oh Decapited One 1.Take a deersteak hammer and hold down on your tongue with mouth wide open, Take a machete or ginsu knife and CUT!
2.Cut out your eyeballz with an icepick!
3.Cut off all your fingers and toes with a sword, better yet just vut off your damn head!
Instructions and viewpoints to cut off head:
-Get a blade from the lawnmower(or something big, wide, and sharp.)
-Tie a rope of some sort up on top of a building.
-You hold one end of the rope.
-Make sure the blade is all straight and everything.
-You lay down and configurate that the angle is right.
-Simply and fastly let go of the rope!
Fast, easy and enjoyable way to get it done and over with.

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