Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
26 Oct 2002 Kev Drink until you nearly pass out, with 'Electric Storm' on by U2 and then, with a bottle of paracetamol in your hands, realise that life has a lot more to offer than killing yourself.
25 Oct 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy flew to me on a plane because of a general lust for a breasted sex goddess. There was no way I was letting him come near me with his huge bishop, and so with my tongue I sliced it clean in two.
He now resides underneath my bed. When feeling generous I allow him a crust or two of bread.

The lesson to be learnt here is this -
do not fall in love with a Cortina.
25 Oct 2002 Niki I hate myself i want to die, in the words of Kurt.
When others hate you and you can't find the reason all you can conclude from it is that you're a horrible person.. and you believe it and you hate yourself too... kill me now... i agree with the vengeful suicide note, but as you're not there to enjoy your revenge there's no point. I LOVED YOU AND I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU BETRAYED ME, BROKE ME, AND TREATED IT AS A JOKE. That's what mine would say. YOU NEVER REALISED, DID YOU? THAT ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND NOT SAY THE WORDS AND I WOULD STILL BE HERE, I'D STILL BE ALIVE. People say intelligence is a blessing. To me it's a fucking curse. How do you feel when you're the brain of a 19-year-old trapped in a six-year old's body? Bored shitless i can tell you. So when i tried to kill myself they all said, she's just a little girl, she doesn't know what she's doing. YES I FUCKING DID! And now at 12 i guess i'm going through what would be my midlife crisis and i want to die, i still do, and goddammit! Grant i will, just you see, and live with the 'joke' for the rest of the life knowing it killed me you bastard.
25 Oct 2002 life is good funny site btw, if this site was run by the government, that post would never have made it. most of you are just plain sick though
25 Oct 2002 annette yes yes ive been here soo many times writing how this is the time im gonna end it. well that thing that seomone wrote that u should slit your wrists then sit in a hot bath. i never tried that. maybe that is why it never worked when i slit my wrists. and also when someone wrte to OD on an empty stomach. DUH im so stupid no wonder why every time that i did OD all i did was throwup the food with the pills. well anywayz yea life sucks ass and i feel like such a worthess piece of shit. well i think im gonna try the wrist thing after school tomorrow and since its winter i can cover it up by wearing long sleeve shirts:) ok cya
25 Oct 2002 Mmmm pie lo Bob, want some pie? mmm pie, pie is good for the artery, but too much pie make you bloated and artery go pop, then no more Bob to eat pie yeeeees

Since history began, man has asked the eternal question: What... is the best pie. Tonight we answer that question.. .lets call assistant *pop* who the fuck are you?? 'I am the mysterious chicken' eer want some pie? 'no it's ok thank you.... i am here to kill you all' you sure you dont want pie... its beef pie 'beef hmm..ok...mmmm pie' pie good? 'pie kicks ass mmmm' so why are you mysterious chicken?? 'mmm pie.. err because i can dance' is that all? 'eeer i can... hide.. things.. too..' i can eat pie, more pie?? 'is it beef pie??' No... it's chicken pie you mother fucker now eat pie till you die so i can eat you in a pie

The moral of the story: Aint life so damn ironic

25 Oct 2002 josh guess this falls under offering help:

if anyone wants to talk they can just email me because there are reasons to live
most of you i guess have nothing better to do with your time than post on this site. some may call it sick, but what is sick, our own morality decides what is sick. this morality is flawed.
24 Oct 2002 I am the great cornholyo I keep noticing that the more I come... the more people seem to stop coming. I guess some people actually serious about this suicide stuff... eeek. Scary though... nice to know most of you people just talk about religion and poopie... he he. And where the hell did Billy go?
24 Oct 2002 dawn I think that no matter what, everyone deep down doesn't want to kill themself
23 Oct 2002 Doris hey i've got a message from cary peppermint. he says HEY WHAT'S UP!
23 Oct 2002 deadorc breathe. it just takes a while.
23 Oct 2002 Fuck this Goddam Shit!!! Lucy your post on poop was very interesting. What do suicide and poop and religon have in common? Actually this topic has been researched extensively and the results compiled in the Ideology and Religion Shit List:

Agnosticism- What is this shit?

Atheism- I do not believe in this shit?

Baptisim- You are shitting wrong, therefore will be punished

Buddhism- If shit happens it really isn't shit

Calvinism- Man is nothing but shit

Catholicism- Shit happens to you because you are bad

Communism- Everyone's shit is everyone else's shit

Evolution- Shit is getting better all the time

Feminism-Men are shit

Hinduism- This shit is not a religion. It is a way of life.

Islam- If shit happens, it is the will of Allah

Judaism- Why does shit always happen to us?

Lutheranism- Catholicism is shit

Materialism- whoever dies with the most shit wins.

Mormonisim- God sent us this shit

Utilitarianism- Lets make the best of this shit
23 Oct 2002 Wizman Se recouvrir d'une fine couche de béton et laisser un mot dans ce genre à côté : "Voici la statue que je veut sur ma tombe. Ca change des pierres tombales à la con. " Tant qu'à faire, mieux vaut prendre une position héroïque/grotesque/obscène ?/débile ? (au choix). On peut même envisager d'engager un tailleur de pierre pour paufiner la statue si les traits sont un peu grossiers. Au moins avec un suicide aussi "stylish", on se souviendra de vous...

Pour les plus fortunés, une version à la "Goldfinger" peut aussi être interressante, tant que la durabilité du monument funéraire est assurée.
22 Oct 2002   hmm. swim around in your miserable boredom. either u will get sick of the boredom and then do something different and productive, or u will go the other way (like i have often gone, hehe) and stay in the misery, each and every time getting more and more detailed as the hole of boredom gets longer deeper, and more detailed with thoughts that many would call 'bad' or 'negative' thoughts. (chuckle) hehehehe ooh, this is how i keep myself afloat, in this stransitional spot in the hole, not quite at the bottom or end of it, but for sure miles away from productive/positiveness (well, at least what others would call postive, i call what i am doing now positive, in the way i see it) >:)
22 Oct 2002 SP knowing you're gay in this kind of world
22 Oct 2002 Kyle Do something with a girl... tell everybody you know... then get the livin shit kicked outa ya until ur lungs fill with blood and eventually die from internal bleeding.
21 Oct 2002 HYDRO That's nice to hear Lucy... take care
21 Oct 2002 Katie Jones overdose on pills around the house or take a knife throught the heart. Also there is the stove, the gas from a stove will work. Not to mention suffocation. Oh or lay something heavy on your chest to stop you from breathing. And there is always drowning in the bath tub.
21 Oct 2002 Vanessa hmm... intersting interesting answers here... yes yes good answers indeed... yet only the dead know the TRUE answers to being dead, seeing as they are dead! myself, i am not new to this site... i have been checking back every other week or so, and Lucy Cortina's and Mouchette's and Billy's dialogues and conversations seem to be getting more amusing every time... you three seem to have great lives.... anyway, on we go, i live in Texas in the U.S., but are we really united? i think not... actually i think that christianity is a cult, and the government is after me, and yes life seems to always be in shambles... by the way i'm being totally serious... but here's a question for the people who ARE thinking of "offing yourself"... what is there to look forward to when gone? no, i'm not any kind of savior, i promise this, seeing as i have a bad sort of behiavor, but really is Death actually THAT exciting to look forward to? unless you believe in reincarnation (in that case i would love to come back as a guy) then what really is to come in dying? it will be pitch black, incredibly boring, nothing to do, nowhere to go, nobody to see... i would rather duke it out in the tough life than be bored for the rest of eternity. think about it, and please feel free to email me with your thoughts, i'll respond personally

20 Oct 2002 Lucy Cortina Ahh I think I understand what you meant now. A.D.D as in Attention Defficiant Disorder (or something along that line)? My darling, if Lucy wanted attention then she would simply remove her bra.

Seriously though, I am not offended or anything :)

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