Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
08 Jan 2003 fer hang yourself from a tree
08 Jan 2003 Michael Mackellar SYMPARANECROMENIAN FAVOURITES. VOL.1 Virgilius the sorcerer had himself hacked to bits and dumped in a caldron to be cooked for 8 days in order by this process to be rejuvenated. He arranged for someone to watch so that no interloper would peer into the caldron. But the watchman could not resist the temptation; it was too soon, and Virgilius, as an infant, disappeared with a scream. i dare say that i also peered too soon into the caldron, into the caldron of life and the historical process, and most likely will never become more than a child... ~Soren~
08 Jan 2003 Michael Mackellar Se Jeter~ i just discovered an unutterably remarkable book; one which may be of some assistance should you find yourself feeling... sinister. `Blank Slate`, by Steven Pinker. This heart-rendered work deals with human nature, from the angle of introducing considerations for conflict resolution and peacemaking that go way deeper than conventional analyses. Also, i should add, the book is rather large... so it may take a touch more effort to grasp. I'm currently sitting in my local hometown library, and 'Blank Slate' is resting safely in its secret cubbyhole. It is necessary for me to hide it away each day because my library card has been suspended, due to enormous late fees, and as a result i find myself effectively restricted from checking anything out. As long as 'Blank Slate' remains tucked away when i am elsewhere, i won't have to lose sleep over worring about some Willy Wanker-Sociology Major getting hold of it, and making me wait entirely too focking long for the return. I suspect this may, perhaps certainly, almost appear to seem a bit selfish... Yet i figure i have more than made up for it with my new years resolution. Yes, you guessed it, my wanking days drew to a close with the new year! You can't get much more selfless than that. Honestly though, i had the same thing planned last year... but the most ridiculously dream-like woman to ever step foot into a surrealist club happened to catch my interest right on new year's eve. We even spoke for a while, and i learned that she was aspiring to become a successful mesmerist. She proved the truth in her aspiration by singing the most beautiful song from 'Les Miserables', in my opinion. On My Own. Even still, it did not take me long to close up... And i soon convinced her that all we had to share, was distance. We returned, arms outstretched, to our separate ways. The club eventually closed, and i sped home in my wagon, cursing myself the whole live-long way for being so possessed by a shyness that is criminally vulgar. As a matter of course, i became frightfully distressed... so, when i arrived home and had crashed into bed, i proceeded to beat the hell out of myself... something like 8 or 9 times over. She was too beautiful. And i became so inhuman. Well, as one can well imagine, my set of unsuspecting sheets was in ruins. My selfless resolution was blown to bits not even 8 hours into the new year. This time around i am ready... i'm not caving in for anything!
Since lately i seem to have a remarkably enlarged amount of time on my hands for some reason that appears unfathomable, i've decided to copy the sleeve notes from 'Blank Slate', so in effect, you may be more readily able to decide whether or not such a book would interest you. I should add that 'A Beautiful Mind', 'I Stand Alone', and 'Shine' are 3 films worth renting. If you have yet to see them, please do so. ...The reason i've decided to include the notes from 'Blank Slate' is not entirely due to the mysteriously enlarged amount of time, i've also become quite happy since 'Common People' came on the radio a little while ago, and it happens to be one of my favorite songs.
I imagine Lucy Cortina as being quite fond of PULP, and i find myself wondering what other music exists as dearly to her... as dearly as she claims to have become to Herself. She claimed to feel so amazingly content... inside. LEGENDARY PINK DOTS, no question. ~the limits of my language define the limits of my world~ Ludwig Wittgenstein ~ ...but surpassing all stupendous inventions, what sublimity of mind was hers who dreamed of finding means to communicate her deepest thoughts to any other person, though distant by mighty intervals of space and time! of talking with those who are in Heaven; of speaking to those who are not yet born- and shall not be born for a thousand or a hundred thousand years. and with what felicity by the varied arrangements of constructs of our minds!! ~Soren
Sleeve Notes....... "Our conceptions of human nature affect every aspect of our lives, from the way we raise our children to the political movements we choose to embrace. Yet just as science is bring us into a golden age of understanding human nature, many people are hostile to the idea. They fear that discoveries about innate patterns of thinking and feeling may be used to justify inequality, to subvert social change, to dissolve personal responsibility, and to strip life of meaning and purpose. In 'Blank Slate', Steven Pinker explores the idea of human nature and its moral, emotional, and political colorings. He shows how many intellectuals have denied the existence of human nature by embracing 3 linked dogmas: the blank slate (the mind has no innate traits), the noble savage (people are born good and corroded by society), and the ghost in the machine (each of us has a soul to make choices free from the restrictions of biology). Each dogma carries a moral burden, so their defenders have engaged in desperate tactics to discredit scientists who are now challenging them. Pinker injects calm and rationality into these 3 debates by showing that equality, progress, responsibility, and purpose have nothing to fear from the discoveries about a rich human nature. He disarms even the most menacing threats with clear thinking, common sense, and pertinent facts from science and history. Despite its popularity among intellectuals during much of the twentieth century, he argues, the doctrine of Blank Slate may have done more harm than good. It denies our common humanity and our individual preferences, replaces hard-headed analyses of social problems with feel-good slogans, and distorts our understanding of government, violence, parenting, and the arts. Pinker shows that an acknowledgement of human nature that is grounded in science and common sense, far from being dangerous, can complement insights about the human condition made by millenia of artists and philosophers. All this is done with unutterably remarkable clarity..."
By the bye, i feel as though Eternity is the place that holds...................Time enough for Love. My Dream is to find each and every one of you there. And then....... [nicedream]
08 Jan 2003 Dead soon I hope I don't know, but you pious lot underneath with your simplistic answers clearly have no idea how a bad a person can feel, yes bad enough to want to kill themselves. How dare you comment on something you do not understand?
06 Jan 2003 burnek queen drink cyanide. put some lemon drops to experience the sour sweet taste of death. remember, you can only die once. and you're a little fly, not a cat.
06 Jan 2003 psycho bitch...... send a post on mouchette for me I cant go on any longer. i feel like my fuckin brain is gonna blow!!!! This site is full of shit!!!! theres good post but the stuff u need to kill urself painlessly is for me unreachable.....What the fuck am i gonna do? but no one gives a shit, i dont even know why the fuck i'm typing. I'm just losin it, and i need to fuckin kill myself, there aint no other way out of this insanity!! Got arrested the other day for attempt its either jail or death. and i want death. i went crazy at this bitch, battered her and left her for dead. i just lost it with her, she nearly died but i should of got done 4 gbh, init? end of the day, it was her fault, she shouldnt of told me, that she was gonna lock me up in a nuthouse for the rest of my life. WELL maybe i do ned to be in a nuthouse but i dont wanna be. ALL i want is 2 die painlessly, is it much 2 fuckin ask?? No it isnt. then everybody will be able to live happily ever after without me around. and i will escape my fate which is to be locked up all my life, drowning in my tears and fuckin misery. SO CAN SOME one please tell me how the fuck i can die painlessly with something that IS assessable 4 most people...PLEASE>>>help me.......Oh by the way, i'm not 13, i'm 14.
06 Jan 2003 sarah OD on anxiety pills, not only do you die, but you get fucked up
05 Jan 2003   .....and so the new year begings... let's see how it goes.
05 Jan 2003 Michael Mackellar i seem to recall reading a quote by some spiritually catapulted, vacant presenced marxist involving the idea that it is the natural course... for all intellectuals to commit suicide. Well now, if that is the case, i wonder if suicide is the unnatural course for those who are something aside from being intellectual. i used to fancy myself as being quite an accomplished intellectual, yet with all the mind-warping anti-reality pills i have been unwittingly prescribed over the years, i feel as though i have been transformed into a fucking blockhead. If only i had taken my life during the intellectual days... i would have been well received by the eyes of nature. And here... if i do such a thing now, i fear that flying in the face of naturality may prove to be morbidly embarrassing. Good Heavens!!!! What an unutterably remarkable dilemma. Perhaps i should just develop a more... elevated passion towards life. Such senselessness is certain to deaden the insightful catastrophe which burdens me so. Okay, we now know that it has become prudent to prove to others, along with oneself, that one is unquestionably an intellectual before one can feel free to dislodge oneself from these godforsaken throes of absurdity ............................... and Here is the perfect place to plead your case. So, who dares to appoint the judge and jury?????????? God, sometimes you just don't come through.....
Sleep well, my friends. 'till anon
05 Jan 2003 Lucy Cortina Eternity... or heaven... would be a night inside me of course. What else?
05 Jan 2003 Michael Mackellar What the hell is that HELLO DOLLY post all about? i thought that was the name the mad scientists gave to the cloned sheep they felt so inclined to subject to heartless redundance... Was it a hint towards having a clone operation performed, and then conditioning your newself in such a manner that he/she becomes perfectly manipulatable?
05 Jan 2003 Michael Mackellar Hell was also having the Woman of your Dreams go fucking symparanecromenial, convincing her to shove a sewing needle through left testicle.
05 Jan 2003 Michael Mackellar How would you define Eternity, Lucy ?
04 Jan 2003 Tina fuck me and you'll find out!
04 Jan 2003 dana slit their wrists or get hit by a car
04 Jan 2003 Lucy Cortina Hell, my dear Michael, is running out of mascara and eye-shadow, and forgetting to put your bra on before going to school. Trust me - I've been there.
04 Jan 2003 Michael Mackellar Should i dare to awake before the aftermath of the impending inevitability, i feel as though i already know just what the most conniving flames of hell have in store for me...................... no recollection of You.
03 Jan 2003 Vivai Find an organs' dealer, (the internet will fit the bill) then tell him/her you want to sell a kidney, then another piece and then all your organs. You're making happy a bunch of sick rich people and the "organization" is likely going to provide the painless dying you're looking for. Tell them your gain must go to some people you like or to your favourite charity. Try threaten if they do not receive the money, some letters you have left to a friend or an attorney with records and evidences about them will be gotten by some papers (playful the Washington Post) or police departments.
03 Jan 2003 Lucy Cortina Ps - I thought Kylie Minogue wasn't very.. er... 'big' in America, Felicia?
I thought the Americans deemed her too sexy and so expelled her from your number? (much like myself, when my affair with Bush gets out, no doubt)

Mind you, America gave the world Britney Spears - Mrs Plastica Titties, of which I am the anti to.
What have we ever done that is so wrong to deserve such torture?
03 Jan 2003 Lucy Cortina I've done the broncho thing, Felicia. It played haddok... or rather havoc with my tights, and gave them ladders. Being sexy - as I have stated many times - is a tough job. It is not for the faint hearted.
I know a woman at my impatient-unit who hurt her back from too much sexual activity. Oh yeah, she's a vegetarian lesbian too. She said the other day to everyone:
"I'm just off to do my bits..."
We gasped in horror as to the implications of that statement. And I almost died in horror on the discovery of her laying on the floor outside the doctor's office "doing her bits" (exercises for her bad back). Ughh! She also has thighs like blocks of concrete from all the bike riding she does.
Anyway, as to PANS, Felicia, I only ever use a pan for one thing.

Frying sausages.

(and the occasional egg - although I am not too qualified in that profession, you understand - so don't get any ideas).

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