|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|16 Jan 2003||Felicia||Est-ce que vous m' ecrirez, Mademoiselle Lucy Cortina? Je parle un peu le francais. Comprenez-vous? S'il vous plait comprends, Je suis American. Comment dit-on "fake boobs" en francais? Je ne peux rien manger de cuisine au pickled durs l'oeuf.|
|15 Jan 2003||Felica - The Guardian Angel||Though I've pointed out that committing suicide is stupid and tried convincing others that they would be missed would not apply to everybody, but I know for sure that killing oneself is a pseudo-solution and the effect of this action on others is a stark reality, as well as a fact.
As far as being different, whether it is a sexual preference, a lifestyle choice, or you committed a heinous crime, we all know that it is simply not right to be judged at all. Nevertheless, we have to think of the consequences, whether it'd be good or bad, and how it would effect whatever happens in the present. Since individuals like you take the time to look into this website for relief, you definitely know the difference between good and bad. We are old enough and intelligent to realize that whatever we choose or chose to do, we are held accountable and are indeed responsible for our own actions. Mostly, we can blame our parents for our downfalls and take it out on the injustices of this society by "doing away" with ourselves. But realize that being born into this "world of woes and the fear of the unknown" is not our fault. We are born and put in this world for a purpose, and whether or not you do not believe so, ACCEPT IT! You have every right to be here like everybody else!!!
In taking responsibility for the caring of others, whether it be sibling, parent, friend, relative, spouse, loved one, or even foe, it may seem that those who need us and who are supposedly "hanging from a thread , need our help. We cannot help those who are clinging to us for dear life if we are not emotionally healed ourselves. Our burdens on ourselves are way too big to handle and it is emotionally draining... especially, ESPECIALLY, if we live with unsupportive parents or families.
Before you decide in attempting your destiny and finding pseudo-solutions to kill yourself, stop first... On a clear night, go outside, don't forget to take a jacket, look up at the sky and stars, take a gulp of fresh air and exhale slowly. Remind yourself that you count just as much as those stars above you and again that you have every right to be here whether you believe it or not. If you are confined in a cell with no outlet of the sky whatesoever, think of the night sky and stars because they are still there. Even if you took a life of another or attempted murder, though I don't condone it (that's my opinion) you still matter. Though you feel as though you need to be punished for the injustices that you done, you still matter. Even if you chose a different mode of living and have a different lifestyle, you still matter. If anybody, friend, parent, foe, sibling, or loved one, thinks otherwise, and they verbally and physically abuse you, tune them out, BECAUSE, that's not what you are and that is their opinion, not yours. If you are entrapped by these people under violent conditions, take refuge immediately because that is not love. Report this to the authorities and ask to seek shelter in a safe place. I am not convincing you to be a runaway either, but if you are being verbally or physically abused and entrapped or confined, this is not a form of love, it is an act of manipulation and violent behavior. You shouldn't be harmed in any way or form and you shouldn't have to live in that hell hole. Don't have people tell you that you're hopeless and be subjective to hurtful words. Again, don't believe it, and understand it is not true. You are who you are, believe in you. Take that first step, rather than killing yourself. Save yourself first... Please!!! You only have one body in this lifetime and think of the opportunities and memories you would jeopardize if you do such an act. Your reaction is "Don't REACT so suddenly!" Think first! Ask yourself a question in why you are doing this, write or type it down, and again, think! Exhale, enhale... BREATH. Write or type down a list of "pros" and "cons". Find ways to resolve the "cons". Don't hyperventilate and dwell only on negativity. Get busy! Occupy your mind with other things that make you happy (I do not require drugs or booze, okay?!) rather than committing a selfish act.
And remember, whether you believe it or not... you are loved.
-Read below under Felicia - The Guardian Angel for more input.
|14 Jan 2003||Felicia||There I was sitting amongst a gang of angry mimes doing sign language in French. They were arguing on who ever misplaced their black and white make-up. Poor me, sitting in the back by the break room feeling over worked and underpaid. Break was over and I went to the nearest merchandising booth to sell magic potions, t-shirts, and voo doo paraphernalia. There was Lucy standing in the middle of the pebbled street in sarong garb dancing to the tune of "The Girl From Ipanema". There she was just shaking her wonderful tasseled casabas to the incoming crowd. She began to attract the hairy furry hobbits, enchanting them with her two wondrous gifts. Then in came Elijah Frodo Baggins with his mysterious blue eyes. For an instant, I feel deeply in love with him. Until I turned to look and my backpack full of juicy apples and bread were gone. I scorned and murmured, Why that dirty rotten scoundrel! But I found it was not he and that my burlap backpack had a gaping hole in the bottom. I followed the tracks of the crumbs from my missing food back to the break room in the tent. I opened the curtain and found the mimes were quietly chewing on my bread and savoring the apples to their delight. Maybe they were hungry and it appeared that they were not doing angry sign language in French anymore. Then I got really hungry.|
|03 Jan 2003||Lucy Cortina||Ps - I thought Kylie Minogue wasn't very.. er... 'big' in America, Felicia?
I thought the Americans deemed her too sexy and so expelled her from your number? (much like myself, when my affair with Bush gets out, no doubt)
Mind you, America gave the world Britney Spears - Mrs Plastica Titties, of which I am the anti to.
What have we ever done that is so wrong to deserve such torture?
|03 Jan 2003||Lucy Cortina||I've done the broncho thing, Felicia. It played haddok... or rather havoc with my tights, and gave them ladders. Being sexy - as I have stated many times - is a tough job. It is not for the faint hearted.
I know a woman at my impatient-unit who hurt her back from too much sexual activity. Oh yeah, she's a vegetarian lesbian too. She said the other day to everyone:
"I'm just off to do my bits..."
We gasped in horror as to the implications of that statement. And I almost died in horror on the discovery of her laying on the floor outside the doctor's office "doing her bits" (exercises for her bad back). Ughh! She also has thighs like blocks of concrete from all the bike riding she does.
Anyway, as to PANS, Felicia, I only ever use a pan for one thing.
(and the occasional egg - although I am not too qualified in that profession, you understand - so don't get any ideas).
|02 Jan 2003||Felicia||Lucy, I'm surprised you left so early to catch the Pan Am 3:13 pm flight to LAX airport from San Francisco and took the Pan Am first class at 9:00p.m. to New York and an adjacent flight to London, a day before Christmas Eve. Hope the jet lag isn't ruining your beauty sleep. A check for $161.07 USD? You can send it in attention to Mr. Frank Abagnale J.R's trust fund. If you can catch him if you can. Besides, you should save it for an affair to remember in Paris or for those Agent Provocateur lingerie modeling assignment photoshoots. Be sure to do a side shot like Kylie Minogue on a bucking, mechanical bronco. Just don't let the Margaret Thatcher look-alike intimidate you because of your nice swinging nuggas. Before you reach for the box of diet sugar-free bonbons tonight dear, Happy New Years for 2003. Please don't feed any chocolates to George. You may need a lead and pulley to deter his addiction to Toblerone chocolates. Steer him far away ...far, far away from the Belgian chocolates. You know George cannot eat "just one".|
|31 Dec 2002||Lucy Cortina||I'll be there, shaking my bonbons, Felicia. Actually I will be in Leicester Square (in our beloved capital London) drenched in champagne and draped over a ford cortina. Yeah, they had the decency to name a car after me! I think the advert reads "The drive of your life - guaranteed to leave the competition lingering on the hard shoulder of the A1!"
Although, Felicia my darling, I do hope you are on no hard shoulders - you deserve a lot better. I gave you that bra in an understanding that it would bag you the best of the blessed (I'm not talking about vicars, you dirty people!)
But Felicia, my darling, I urge you to invest in some Bold Ultra (that's washing powder to Americans) and get out those chip-fat stains. It may be useful if you've bust a tyre, and park up in a greasy spoon cafe. But when you're invited to one of my dinner parties with my husband George W. Cortina, it will mean zilch. It's time to get out the old cheque book again...
say, I forget the bra toll in America these days... would £100 cover it?
|31 Dec 2002||Felicia||We were at Union Square in San Francisco, Lucy Cortina and I. She saw my downtrodden face as I gazed upon my small bosoms. She was truly blessed. We went into Victoria's Secret and saw laying upon a shelf...Low and behold...a box of fake rubber boobies (fakies shall we say?) They were displayed in two colors: porcelain shade and tan. I took the tan beauties out of the box, slowly, like...like, they were "My precious". I felt the texture of the fakies and had wishful thoughts of wearing them, forever. The rubber was so pliable and there among the tips of each one was a fake nipple. I told Lucy that I would be in the fitting room trying them on. In the fitting room under the incandescent lighting, I slipped each fake boobie under an underwire bra. They stuck out all right, like a twenty-one gun salute. Then, I shook them and became ecstatic because they looked so real. So I decided I'll take it. At the register, I took out my wallet to pay for the fakies and black underwire bra, but to my horrific horror, a piece of hair lint and a moth came out of my wallet. The cashier was very impatient and looked unimpressed. Out of pure embarrassment I said, "Omigawd!!" and hollered "I forgot the eighty dollars that Billy left on my dresser!! Augh!!" Well, I remembered that one day, Billy took in an old friend that was down in his luck to my apartment. The next thing you know, the old man was gone, well anyways, Lucy felt really bad for me, so she purchased the fakies and the black underwire bra. I said, "No Lucy! You shouldn't have!" She stared at me as if I were crazy, so I gave her a big hug. To this day I am still wearing my fakies and the black underwire bra. They are the best Christmas presents I ever had! Thank you dear Lucy, my Angel of Mercy! Should I wear them tonight for the Exotic Erotic Ball at San Francisco? Am I going to meet the Prince of my dreams?
Where are you?!!
|30 Dec 2002||Lucy Cortina||I wouldn't allow anyone aboard my boobies, Felicia, they are protected by the Wildlife Trust.
That and a super strong metallic bra.
Suddenly Austin Powers comes to mind -"You have the right to remain sexy".
Which indeed I do. And that could not happen with things dangling from the end of my bosoms.
But feel free to scale the heights of Billy's tower. There may be a Rapunzel at the very top of it.
|30 Dec 2002||Felicia - Your Guardian Angel||What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? What is the best way to kill yourself when you are 25, 35, or 59 years of age? My advice, don't try. I myself have tried to commit suicide with Geritol pills at age 14, but something was holding me back. In a span of five minutes, my parents knocked on the door to check up on me. Feeling foolish, I spat the pills out. Down the road of life, which was soon extended after I spat out the pills, I've seen people kill themselves for pure enjoyment to get back at the world, to die because life was an unjust cause and they rather not live in it. To be brutally honest, there was some people that I knew who were convinced to do themselves in, and I didn't care. I labeled them as messed up, drugged out, or "demonically possessed" to some degree, but after they attempted it, I felt lost. For some reason, these people did matter to me. The cause of them killing themselves was usually over the main reason, rejection over a guy or a girl, an abusive parent or sibling, drug usage, a lost loved one, or the worst enemy, money. In talking about this, lately I felt like doing myself almost a week ago over the rejection of two men. But I ask myself, "Why?" I keep telling myself this that no guy or girl is worth your time if they treat you like crap or never give you the time of day. Does it hurt them that they left you? Sometimes, but who cares what they think? We're focusing on you and me. Let's continue. I went back in time I witnessed my best friend's brother kill himself slowly with alcohol or distilled spirits over his ex-wife. I saw him lying on the hospital bed with his eyes open, laying dormant and stiff in a vegetative state. Surrounding him were his family and friends. My best friend told me "if only" she could have spent more time with her brother and shared her drawings of Palm Trees with him again. I'm not joking. They both loved Palm Trees and paintings of them, but unfortunately it was too late. I sat in the lobby seeing all the relatives cry and friends, true friends of him. Did I burst out in tears with the rest of them? No. I hardly knew the guy. But underneath, I felt the sufferring, the harshness of someone killing themself slowly. What was worst was seeing everybody, especially my best friend crying incessantly, and singing songs my best friend's brother wrote. Everybody was anticipating the outcome of this musician. There were incidences that I heard from the doctor that my best friend's brother was bleeding from the lungs and losing his liver. His inner organs were damaged. Did it bring satisfaction? No. It hurt knowing that someone I hardly knew was clinging on for dear life and I couldn't do anything about it. That's when I began to care. My best friend's brother died seven days later. That was a week after Thanksgiving in 1999. It didn't make me feel good. It haunts me to this day. Just last year again, my best friend's second brother committed suicide by hanging self by a noose over a girl. What's this? Another escape? No it's not. It leaves others like myself and my best friend wreathing in pain after a death was unnecessarily committed. While you sit there with that knife, that noose, or those pills, or even a razor blade, you're not only killing yourself. You are also killing everybody that you love or those that love you. That's why you and I need to think! Just think first! As we lay on our beds and start breathing, even though the pain in our chest and our body aches from the deep hurt we must live. Before you decide to take your life, come back to this website and send an email before contemplating your own destiny. The mouchette.org/suicide people will try their best to respond or give a few words. Or give someone you love a hug. If no one is around you to give you a hug, hug your lap top or computer, because the other person behind the wire that wrote this is me. I am real and I am not phony. If I feel a sudden force of warmnest, I know it is you. Just know that you are loved at this very moment.|
|29 Dec 2002||Felicia||The ocean recedes, the motley of people stare... oh... the horror! High on a hill top, I flail like helpless bird with a broken wing and seeing the waves come crashing in. The valleys get filled with water. Wait. The mountain tops are soft. Oh my gosh! I am standing on Lucy Cortina's right boobie! (Suddenly silent) I see ole' one eyed Billy, grasping on the left mountain top for dear life. Then... I hear a loud voice, like thunder. "GET OFF!" The voice roared and the right mountain top hit me, like a large loaf of San Francisco Parmesan Bread. Rendered unconscious, I float to the bottom of the ocean. Out of nowhere, as if the fish were getting seanced, radar ripples become apparent in the water. It's... it's Aqua Man! He comes to rescue me. Holding me close and arms surrounding my 38C sized boobies, Aqua Man brings me to the ocean surface and lays me against a rock. Then he gives me the kiss of life, just like the girl in Dr. No's dream, except he is a guy. I awoke and found later that I was in love with a fish and laying on a rock out of nowhere.|
|28 Dec 2002||Felicia||The best way to kill yourself when you are under 13 years old is not to utter a word and hold in your feelings. Then you wait another 22 years, undergoing tons of therapy, and experience jerk off boyfriends, that look like Nicolas Cage who are 9 years younger than you or one year older, who only want you for a one night stand, a Corona beer with lime, and fondling your 38C bosoms, and later down the road you figure out that they are a punk ass free loader with suicidal tendencies, a long rap sheet, and a so called Tupac Shakur mentality. (Sounds like a Jerry Springer candidate runner up.) Then you realized that 21 years ago, it was a stupid phase you went through when you tried to swallow a bottle of Geritol at age 14, because some high school freshman Tom Cruise wannabe asked if you were a slut, and you later spit them out because you didn't want to get caught by Dad and Mum. Twenty-two years down the road,you look up websites finding some solace when you feel like killing yourself again, remaining still single, eating chinese food, writing sad make believe stories in emails to friends, sending nude emails to ex-boyfriends, and writing in journals.... and you happen to stumble upon european people with bigger boobs than yours, like Lucy Cortina, while she chats to a guy that says "How now brown cow" once in a blue moon, till you laugh your pants off (Thank you Billy the freak) and realize that tragedy can build character out of humility. Thank the Wonderful Gods above for you both. You are simply Marvelous! Absolutely Marvelous! You have saved my life once again by keeping my mind occupied by your off the wall humor. Laughter... is indeed the best medicine.|
|09 Dec 2002||Felicia||Well, I know a good way you can kill yourself. Get into some hobby like me.
1.) Take surfing lessons. You have a great chance of hitting a rock or getting eaten by a shark.
2.) Go bungie jumping. Have a nice fall over a bridge somewhere.
3.) Go skydiving and forget your parachute.
4.) Go to East Palo Alto and wear a shirt saying you hate black people.
5.) Listen to Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People" song and head bob till your neck falls off.
If all else fails begin a life as a writer. They are very dramatic people.