Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
21 Sep 2002 billy-jeana sharp kitchen knives, just tell mom that your learning to cook.
14 Sep 2002 billy -pillhead violet!...why are you such a pillhead?
-what do you mean, why am i such a pillhead. come here mother fucker! i'll kill you...
-you don't know...do you? well, i don't know why i slept with you, and get the hell off my one nut.


billy
14 Sep 2002 pillhead Violet Billy when we slept together it was very lovely. although I was a bit disappointed with your 1 ball.
12 Sep 2002 billy don't you hate it when you leave a shirt at a friend's house, and you have no idea were you could have lost it until you see it on your friend's back. you could have your name embroidered on that son of a bitch and they will swear up and down it's not yours. "uh, i got tommy hilfiger on one of my shirts and he isn't trying say it's his shirt." you know what, i am going to get insanely obese friends so there is no fucking question.
11 Sep 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy, it's my breasts of course. Removing them has cursed the world that created me. The world has lost 2 of its 'Great Wonders', or spots of 'natural beauty'. The wonders of surgery.
Makes you wonder though.. did Michael Jackson cause the holocaust?
11 Sep 2002 billy one year ago today a tragic event took place in america... i got drunk and slept with pillhead violet. why do such horrible things happen?
09 Sep 2002 Lucy Cortina Oooh! You cheeky cheeky boy billy! You know what I'm talking about..
I've been thinking, about my breasts. They're too small now. Should I have implants? BUT..I heard that Daniella Westbrook fell over on the pavement and hers exploded or something. They just popped! That scares me. And to have the 2 done at once would cost double, methinks. But, you won't get a man saying "Cor, that's a nice knocker girl!" will you? Men's brains work in a way that only 2 will do.
I don't much understand implants. Do you have to have the air pumped in every so often? Like, if I went to the petrol station do you think they'd allow me to re-pump them?
"Hope you don't mind if I fill the nungas up, mate?" "Sure Luce, that'll be £5.50". And then I could attract all the lorry drivers there as I'm filling 'em up.
Uh, enough of breasts.
I've got some Paroxetime today, I'm hoping that will be good for me.
Tschuss!

PS - Billy, I hope you have aspirations to be the nu Eminem!
07 Sep 2002 Lucy Cortina Oh my.. gosh.. billy! You are really spoiling uz vith zeez chocolates!

I just had a reduction!!!

03 Sep 2002 billy CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD AT A PARTY:

-somebody spiked the punch...
-i thought you spiked it already...
-yeah, i mean i DID, but i'm saying somebody spiked it AGAIN...
-oh...
-hey guys, what's new and exciting?..
-nothing really, this guy just went and spiked the punch after dude here ALREADY spiked it...
-that's funny, i poured a bottle of rum into the punch before i came over here...
-well, you know what this means...
-_
-_--->HAND OUT ROOFIES!!!
-

-hey man, do you think it is wrong to TELL a girl your suicidal to get them to sleep with you?..
-that one makes you sound too pathetic. try telling them you're a virgin, that works for me all the time...

-dude, i had to bring my dad...
-what the hell, why'd ya have to bring your dad!?
-he said i couldn't come unless he came...
-how lame is that? listen to what you are saying man, so what if you get mister willie wet tonight. you can't cum unless your dad cums. how you gonna work that one JUNIOR? where the hell is your suck ass dad anyway?..
-he drove down to the distributor to pick up a keg. he said there isn't enough beer here for him AND everybody else...
-well then... if he needs help bringing that keg in here make sure you come and get me, right...

-hey, can i use your truck? i got to go score some pot...
-yeah, here, wait... do i even know you?...
-no man, you don't know me, but i know one of your sisters' friend's boyfriend, he is on the rugby team with me.
-what! man, do you even have a driver's license?..
-funny thing, i had it suspended last year for getting into a nasty accident. this guy wanted me to drive his girlfriend home. i told him i was drunk. he told me i was nowhere near as drunk as he was. man, was he wrong...
-that isn't funny, what makes you think i'm going to let you use my truck then...
-i'm not drunk now...
-you sound drunk...
-that's just because you're drunk. look at my red lips. i have only been drinking PUNCH.
-well, be quick then...

-girl, what you doing at this party?..
-i heard that lucy girl was going to be here...
-what lucy girl?..
-that lucy cortinez...
-oh i know who you're talking about. the one with the big...
-yeah, and the huge...
-right, i know exactly who you talking about, girl...
31 Aug 2002 billy pittsburgh pa slang: that's what i'm talking about jeanie, that's my girl dog, lighting up the skies babe. yeah! hell yeah!!!

translation: i agree one hundred percent with what jeanie says, and further more wish her the best of luck.
29 Aug 2002 odd_orange Lucy, i applaude you for your Aug. 26 entry.. i agree with you. i only wish kelly, and others like kelly, that they also agree with you.
Billy, don't fret, i thought your story on the old poeple home was excellent, just the same as your other ones are. perk up pookey ;)
29 Aug 2002 billy you know i didn't get the response i wanted from my last entry. why can't i spread my wings and get the same damn feedback. am i destined to write horrible little comedy quips, for the rest of my life? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!
you know lucy, you are absolutely right. no matter what goes on in my life, i always make time to check out mouchette.

this is a shout out to gloria, without you i would never have this thorn in my side
27 Aug 2002 suicidalgirl420 Billy, team death is a website i stumbled upon one day that makes up funny and creative ways to kill yourself. I also wanted to tell you that i loved the story about you and your girlfriend. it's so true what you say, i've seen it happen so many times before. It's amazing how the power of drugs will change someone's mood so quickly.
26 Aug 2002 Lucy Cortina Kelly you lil' puddin'... it's only a bit of fun my dear.
Have you ever fancied streaking in the rain, in one of the most crowded streets of London? Boobs bobbling, bottom wobbling in just your nik-nicks? It's fun, IT IS! It may bring a greater enhancement to your life.. similar to this site. Why do we come back, eh? If not only to try outdo each other..
Like everyone else, after coming here I go sit in the jacuzzi of my big country house in the middle of the English countryside. I might even have a sip of tea from my china cup.. or a french fancy, crumpet or scone. I might even have fish and chips when I'm slumming it. But I always come back here.
Call it a drug if you will. It certainly beats the competition known as chatrooms where they have such silly names, like Fanny's Yang, Auntie Hot, Hotboi 4 u etc. Here we like the simple life, with simple names. And I have my Billy... if not only for a little foreplay before going to the next naughty site.

Stay Kelly. This site is will be fun for you, if you let it.
24 Aug 2002 billy this is a variation of a story my grandmother read to me as a child. i decided to make the story more interesting and detailed so that it may appeal to older people. this is going to be a little different. it is going to be a three part entry and i am actually going to capitalize for some reason.

The Bed by the Window PART I

Elsie, a middle aged nurse for Gails Manor Retirement Home was doing her morning rounds and vitals. (Check the pulse on the wrist, take thier pressure and put it on the list.) Elsie often came up with little rhymes for he own amusement. It was safe to say elsie loved her job. She only had one more room to do on her wing before she was off doing some lengthy task she really didn't mind doing. She opened the door to 25C. Mr. O'riley and Mr. O'leary were eating their breakfast of cornflakes, orange juice, and bran muffins. "Just here to get your pulse and blood pressure." Elsie said with a ring in her voice. O'leary welcomed her with a smile that was quite over sized due to the dentures he was wearing. O'riley just grunted and shoved a piece of bran muffin in his mouth. "Do you think you can take a break from that delectable muffin there Mr. O'leary so that i may get your vitals." O'leary laughed at Elsie because he knew the muffins were nowhere near delectable, but closer to detestable. The walk over to O'leary's bed was considerably long, past O'riley's bed, past certain life supporting machines, and around his bed to his right arm, which was his strong side due to the stroke he had on the left side of his brain. The morning light coming in through the huge plate glass window accented every feature and valley in his face. He looked beautiful to her. She worked quickly and gently so that O'leary could get back to his meal. She then moved over to O'riley's bed. O'riley immediately put up a fuss. "You're not coming over here to squeeze the hell out of my arm devil woman" he said in voice that was old and gruff. Elsie just smiled and said "Okay, have it your way i will just get the head nurse and be on with myself", then started for the door. O'rilley then said in a beseeching manner. "Come on, get it over with." Elsie knew that statement would work, it always did when he wanted to challenge her, because O'rilley knows the head nurse has an attitude to match his and then some. The confrontation didn't make Elsie want to do her job in any way less than par, even though the contrast in attitudes of the two patients made her feel kind of ill, elsie was a good nurse. She finished her job, bid them a good day and moved on.
24 Aug 2002 Lucy Cortina That's ok Billy...so long as the wriggly diddly doesn't make a dirty squirty, it's abso-lutely-fine.
Tune in tomorrow for Lucy's great metaphorical big red bottom! Similar to a baboon, this indicates when the Lucy is 'in the mood'. And sometimes she...

oh, you'll just have to wait my dear!

Did you know that the black-widow spider can have multiple orgasms??
24 Aug 2002 billy lucy honey, having you describe the bigness of your body parts makes me big in certain parts.
suicidalgirl, i am not a member of team death, what the hell is team death?, but thanks for asking.
24 Aug 2002 Lucy Cortina I hate my nose. As it is so big, it means not only do I look like one of those clever people, who, incidentally have no mates, but also that I can smell things more than other people. Well, that's my theory. It's obvious - bigger the nose, greater the sense of smell, right? I wonder if lurker spots enhance or hinder this?
Anyway, I detect lots of smells. I can tell when my teacher has been eating garlic. However, he always stinks of garlic, like most teachers. I bet he's a vampire. The amount of homework he gives us is certainly evil.
Anyway, I always detect whiffs of stuff in my room. I suspect the cat has left a few smelly surprises, known as decomposed mice and birds for me. They say that in a cat's brain, they think giving dead mice to you is like a 'present'.
Anyway, to get rid of the unknown smell I've been spraying frantically deodorant everywhere. Now it stinks of a pine forest (eughh!) and I'm choking and wheezing to death.
That reminds me. What is the point of air freshener for toilets? For example, Pine Forest spray. You do your business in the toilet. Then you spray your little bottle, and voila! It smells of a pine forest. But then it just smells like you did your business in a pine forest!! What's the difference?!

Oh and Billy.. just ohh! You know what seeing you back does to me, don't ya, babe?
23 Aug 2002 billy the bitch would not shut up. i secretly wished larynx cancer on her. i am glad she is not psychic or she would have stabbed me by now. i remembered back to my days as a cub scout and one of the lessons they had tought me. friction... friction causes heat, and heat causes fire, i also remember how hard it it was to start that fire using two little sticks. they assured it could be done. i guess what i'm trying to say is, trying to get a word in now would be like rubbing two sticks together. hard as hell and if i was to succeed it would only start a fire. "i don't think this relationship is working out- blah blah yack yack! you don't even try to make things better- wha wha yack blah! you know it is hard for me to say this but, you know my mom is right!" what!? did she just say she agrees with her mother? the last time they agreed is when her mother said "why don't you run away with that tramp boyfriend". i happen to be that tramp boyfriend. at that time the pain stopped for her parents. the burning cancer like pain started for me... i'm a dope, a dope head, as matter of fact that's how we met, and come to think of it that is the only thing that keeps us together. " you make me sick- yip yip yip! the sight of you makes me want to fucking puke- arf bark growl!" (sounds like you are going through withdrawl bitch). she took a brief moment from her rants to take a breath, or to think of the next insulting thing she was going to say to me. either way i thought was my chance to rub two sticks together. i must have tried to speak too quick because all my words jammed into a ball in the front of my mouth. i spit them out onto the floor. (THUD) " you dumb ass, what the hell, you don't even make sense when you talk- blassy blassy blew blew!" i received my fire starting badge. (thank you scout leader). despite the aching in my arms and legs, i bent over to pick up my twisted jumble of speech. i proceeded to brush them off and stick them in my back pocket next to the stampers of heroin i just bought. i am a man of few words, i would save them for when i bring the bags out then she will be all ears like any smack fiend. "what are you doing you don't even listen when i talk, you son of a bitch- wassy wassy winkly woo! so who did you fuck last night?" okay time to change the subject "bitch! shut the hell up i'm sick of you fucking yelling at me, now do you want to do this dope or what?". her irate face and rigid body melted down to a shaking dirty dope whore. "you really got dope?" she asked in a whole different demeanor, the one i can deal with. "i wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it babe" i replied in the same manner. all of a sudden there was no signs of an argument, or no signs of one sided verbal abuse. i pulled the bags out along with what i was going to say before: "you need to stop yelling at me". however i said it in such a docile manner it didn't mean much, besides she was to busy masturbating the bags with her eyes. "you're going to have to spike me" she said in a tired voice. it was obvious, she trembled like a man on death row. in a series of wordless movements i tied her off and shot her up, after her body blissfully orgasmed she layed her head on my lap and started rubbing my knee. "i love you" she said. i didn't bother to answer untill i was done and feeling the same way. "i know" i replied.
23 Aug 2002 suicidalgirl Billy, I have a question for you. Are you a member of team death? I thought I saw something about you on their site.

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