Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
06 Dec 2002 Lucy Cortina *Squeals with delight* Oooh Billy, you naughty boy! I didn't expect a kiss and tell about our affair. I haven't even bought my weekly copy of HEAT magazine yet, I must have a look soon. I expect they put your interview somewhere in between Kylie Minogue's hotpants and Britney's pigtails.
It's almost Christmas. I'm expecting a lot of goodies and things to "unwrap". I wonder what's in santa's "sack" for me?
I hope I don't get one of those crappy prezzies where I have to say "It's the thought that counts...", when secretly I think it's a pile of ****. It's not the THOUGHT that counts - it's the PRESENT!!! I want a present that will mean that the rest of my life after receiving it will be an anti-climax. Not a snuff-box shaped like a banana!
A girl can dream. The best I can hope for this year is a pork pie in my hand, cranberry sauce in my hair and flashing my bottom out of the car-window in the freezing snow.
06 Dec 2002 Samuel Jackson Realize you're absurd, realize they're absurd. Get nuclear weapons. End randomness.
06 Dec 2002 cloud excessive masturbation. include sex toys - really fucked up sex toys.
05 Dec 2002 dead poet buy the kit
04 Dec 2002 reeta eat moth balls. pretend that it's just candies
04 Dec 2002 tony danza open a bank account
03 Dec 2002 ryan walk into a police station and go burt flump. then u get arse raped
the end
03 Dec 2002 billy - after my recent disappearance i was advised to hold a press conference and have an interview with some honest journalist, i don't really remember the name of the journalist, because i was stoned and it don't really matter. anyways, here are some of the questions and my answers.

Q: billy, after you went missing in action alot of talk started running around, so the question is where have you been?
A: when i was younger my mother always said "why don't you join the circus?" so, i wanted to live up to her dream. i got a job shoveling elephant shit for a travelling circus. the job itself was horrible, but the benefits was worth all the shit, free popcorn and all the mountain dew i could drink, plus the ring master's daughter put out, and you know and for mom.
Q: that sounds exciting, so then what happened?
A: well, when they started calling me billy the shit boy i knew it was time to rock and roll, when we got to great britain, i ran seeking refuge with an old friend.
Q: who was this old friend?
A: lucy cortina.
Q: hey, isn't she the one with the big...
A: yeah.
Q: was she suprised to see you?
A: this was the first time we ever met, i guess she didn't expect me to be so handsome, so she threw me under the bed, in attempt to hide me from her snotty british friends. she wanted to keep me all for herself you see.
Q: of course, so billy, how did you feel being under the bed?
A: i felt with my hands, unfortunately i didn't get to feel much of lucy, for when my hand crept from under the bed -WHACK- with the hair brush handle, it was a neat handle because it doubled as a scalp massager, it vibrated. all in all it was good, but i had to go.
Q: why did you have to go?
A: her sister kept sneaking under the bed and insisting i play dolls with her. you see, i am a manly american man i don't play with dolls, unless the have on camo and little plastic guns, it's the american way.
Q: so where did you go from there?
A: first i went to the hard rock cafe in london, then i went home, i was pretty tired by then.
Q: one more question billy, what has happened to your email address?
A: i received a piece of email from afghanistan, and like a dope i opened it. my poor pc got anthrax, he didn't make it.
02 Dec 2002 kelley davis shoelaces, safety pins, bite sized razor bits, a large container of chocolate covered popcorn kernals and a heating blanket to wrap yourself in after consumption, and a LOT of heroin with dirty dirty needles from a Ugandan STD ward
02 Dec 2002 ryan Sell all your belongings (to an arab) then take all your money and spend it on drugs. then get really wasted say when a carnival is on. then put a pole up your arse then jump arse first off of a high building. (for added excitement aim for the carnival queen)
this is the best way of killing urself cos you'll die happy and definitely make the front page.
02 Dec 2002 morgan hum.. hey i don't know if this is the right place to be asking all this but ok: i'm on my schools debate team and i'm writing a case on suicide and if anyone has links to websites that have articles saying suicide is good could you please send them to me? i'm having a hard time finding some things... thanks
01 Dec 2002 wonder i know it's a lil off the subject but here i go anyway... i'm 16 years old.. and it's kind of cliche.. but i lost everything i ever thought was too fairytale like to happen to me... for the past 4 months.. i've been contemplating whether or not i should commit suicide or not... these past four months, i have endured all the necessary pain possible as a 16 year old chic.. and also having a broken heart... it's a stupid reason.. yes, i know.. but i've been so suicidal.. i act like i am fine and doing alright in front of other people but that's not me... i've tried so many times.. but whatever i do.. it never works.. i don't know what to do.. i don't know how to heal.. i feel like a completely different person.. my soul was taken away from me.. my innocence stolen... my heart broken... i'm planning to commit suicide on christmas eve...
01 Dec 2002 Lucy Cortina I'm going to see the new Bond movie soon, *ooh!* that Pierce Brosnan is such a hunk! And Halle Berry reminds me of myself, in the bosom department.
I remember seeing in the newspaper a picture of Guy Ritchie and Madonna greeting the Queen at the premiere of the film.
Call me weird, but it seemed as though the Queen was secretly thinking as he looked at Madonna: "You - Mrs Ritchie. Me - Mrs VERY richy!"
Bless her cotton socks.
01 Dec 2002 elena eat candies, chocolate, french fries until your guts explode
01 Dec 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy, I'm more of a kitchen table, garden shed or beach party girl, if you know what I mean.
Anyway glad you're back! Did you enjoy our last rendezvous?
01 Dec 2002 billy in the morning when the sun breaks over appalachia, i am in that limbo between night and day, i like to walk downtown when the streets are empty, i am alone with my thoughts. they seem to echo off the tall buildings then come back to me in whispers, my thoughts. the city agrees with me. the new light from aloft makes everything crisp and clear. i can see for miles. i can walk for miles. just me and my thoughts. so where will my thoughts take me today?
01 Dec 2002 billy lucy, i would never go to a party that i knew had cucumber sandwiches, unless that is, i knew you would be there, then the party would move upstairs.
01 Dec 2002 Anna I'm fourteen, and want to die. I'm thinking of taking sleeping pills. How many do I have to take to ensure death? I don't want to wind up on the hospital, I don't want attention.
30 Nov 2002 kazzz killing yourself. if you want 2 do it , first try to talk to someone who has tried it. in 1 moment it might seem like the only way out, but you need 2 remember there's always light after the darkness.
I tried to kill myself 4 years ago, if it had worked then i would have missed so much.
if you kill yourself, you only take your own chances away of things getting better. and you hurt the people that do care about you.
30 Nov 2002 Adam Dovenitz act mentally retarded so u go to a mental hospital. then grab a dozen drugs and inject them

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