Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
02 Nov 2002 fan of Lucy (& Billy) oooh. i'm so sorry to disapoint you, Lucy, but i feel i should (i'm not sure why) reveal to you that i am female. and (unfortunately, in a way), American.. what would you say about that? lol. i like the idea of you and Billy creating a web site together. it would keep me laughing. i'm not sure if he's interested though, maybe you could whack his little tooshy with your wiggly jigglies, maybe will get his attention.
01 Nov 2002 Lucy Cortina What, you mean that Billy and I have fans?
I always did fancy some hunky turkish guy in some wet speedos stood beside me - as I consume grapes and chocolate - fanning me with one of those huge Peacock-ish fans. And then to be rubbed up and down with olive oil...*oooh!*...very sensual...
Or in my case, vegetable oil will do, considering my new college-economy shopping budget.

Back to the point. We have fans? I'm considering setting up and Billy & Lucy fanclub (one years free advertising is of course promised to you, Mouchette).
Actually, I really can't be arsed. But I wouldn't mind a fanclub. Please set one up for me, someone. If there are any rich, handsome, classy (suicidal 13-year-old) millionaires on this website, please do let me know. I have Britney Spears potential. I'm waiting for you baby...............
01 Nov 2002 Andrew vassiliou Sugar/caffeine intake overdose
01 Nov 2002 loser I am almost 30 and have constantly thought of ways to die since I was a teen. I have told myself that life has ups and downs but now I think that is a sorry excuse. What is the purpose of the down period? Why must we suffer? Unlike a few of your other posters I have not used drugs, have not had multiple sexual partners, basically I have tried to live a "good" life and yet I am still "here" after all these years. Slipping back into the hole. The only thing that stops me is the fear of eternal damnation. If I could just close my eyes and never be simply cease to exist as if I never was.....
01 Nov 2002 Martha S. happy halloween, kiddies. i hope your day is filled with gory things and axes and professional samurai swords for someone to cut your head off, lots of ropes and wires to hang yourself with from the ceiling fan, and many, many razors to cut your little withered anorexic, (maybe fat &chunky), wrists. oh, and i hope you go to one of those factories that have those two rolling round heavy things that smash down stuff to a couple inches thick, i hope you get caught in one of those, and i get to witness you screaming as the rollers bring your body in slowly, crushing your feet, your ankles, up to your knees, your thighs, the blood is starting to not just squirt averywhere, but the flow is starting to go backward, flowing back toward your head. and your pelvis, torso is flattened, you start to lose consciousness, but you are still awake enough to feel the pain, you no longer can scream, your lungs and throat are filled with blood. you can't see, the pressure has blinded your eyes, as they bulge outward out form their sockets, bloodshot, looking like they could pop out. and then, u still get pulled farther in, but u are dead now, after it got to ur heart, but now i see it's reaching your your neck, up to your head, it crushes ur jaw, and then Cruch and and Ooze, and your skull cracks open in various places, and the brains start seeping out of any any spot it can from your broken nogen, the brains seeming to be trying to flee from the crusher machine.
mmmm, i feel like having sausage right about now.
31 Oct 2002 ryan i don't know what's the best way... but i've tried more than i can count... i hate my life and always will... no one can tell me there's people who will help, it's fucking bullshit... i've been trying to get help for over 8 years now... it's all lies...
31 Oct 2002 Jason Take a shower, don't dry off... then stick your tongue in an electric socket in the wall..
Damn... man... lol, this is a sick site... but hell, this world is sick.
Power to you!
31 Oct 2002 Ron I had some ideas, but now that I've read some of the previous postings for this question I'm going with something different. All you have to do is send them a transcript of the bizarre comments you've received from people concerning this question and they will instantly believe that life is worthless and futile. I hope you enjoy this self-fulfilling prophecy that you've created. It's nice when so many disturbed people can get together and share ideas.
30 Oct 2002 fan of lucy (& billy) lol. lucy, u have good humor. i wish billy would come around more often and join us in this fabulous breast-fest. his only choice of activies was either this, or watching the britney spears concert.. i guess he picked the concert, eh billy? i know u are lonely, billy boy, come back to us.
29 Oct 2002   You are sick for putting this add up
28 Oct 2002 Lucy Cortina Uh-oh..Lucy again! I HAD to post again, since I just heard on the radio that Courtney Love's dog has died after eating one of her breast implants, which she left on the table! I mean - Ohmygod! Do these women never learn? You'd never catch me leaving my nungas lying around for any old dog to get his hands on.
Why don't she just put them in the fridge like any other self-respecting woman?

Ps - This site is addictive, Mouchette. You have me here every day. If things do not change I will be filing a lawsuit against your company, since it does not say on the package of this medication that it may be addictive. Side-effects I can deal with (aka Billy). But not addiction. I NEED to get a life!
Now..where's my Prozac gone to...?
28 Oct 2002 FTS to N Dear N,
I am sorry you are feeling suicidal. Unfortunately I cannot reveal my email, however if you would like to post why you are feeling suicidal I can respond here.

If you are 13 or under in most circumstances it would be a good idea to wait unitl you are 15 or 16 before making a final decision about suicide. Because we grow quickly mentally and physically during the teenage years your perspective and sense of self can change rapidly during this time. In other words who you are at 17 is close to who you are at 18 or 19 but who you are at 16 can be a lot different than who you are at 13.

Mouchette has provided an entry in the box above the posts (which I didn't notice before) for people offering their help. Here is an impressive list of recent people and emails offering to talk with people feeling suicidal. One (lain M) apparently is an organization which will try to respond to you within 24 hours.

Most problems do have a solution so feel free to post your situation (remember no one will no who you are)
28 Oct 2002 Jeff The funny thing about that is I had the same experience happened to me earlier. I went online seeing if anyone was worth talking to and low and behold there was no one(at least worth talking to0. I had the luxury of spending most of my day watching my roommate's evil disgusting girlfriend drool on herself. I have to call the zoo because I think I have their escaped gorilla here.
27 Oct 2002 Kimberley They're is no best way. I've tried a lot of things: diazepam overdoses, antidepressants, paracetamol, cutting my throat, and wrists, hanging. But i'm still here, in this fuckin hell. i've been trying to kill myself since i was 13, i'm now 16! My advice to anyone out there, who want to die, is to fuck off out of your life, and start a new life, and forget about the old you. Then if you can't and you still wanna die, the best way is heroin overdose... but make sure no one is about to save you.
Hope i've helped, good luck. hope you can live, but if life is too painful, what kinda life is that, init?
SEE YA
27 Oct 2002 Lucy Cortina Don't you just hate it when it's a Sunday - you're all alone, none of your 'online-buddies' are around, and so you begin to realise that your 'online life' never existed and that you are really the lonely bore you tried to imagine you weren't?
I am reduced to finding a Britney Spears concert on channel 4 remotely interesting.

It's a good job that I have Billy to entertain me now... he does have his uses!
27 Oct 2002 ams it is obvious all these 'life is a gift' posts were made by people with privileged lives. you would not understand that life can be SO BAD you are looking forward to the absolutely final end of it. and to the person who said, most people who tried to kill themselves are glad afterwards they failed: why, then, do 78% of people who attempt sucide unsuccessfully attempt again?
26 Oct 2002 Jeanie Ahhh... so billy is under your bed eh? I was wondering where that fucker escaped to. My sexual prowess was too much for him i guess. Decided that he couldn't handle it so he ran away... I have got to change the locks on my closet door.
26 Oct 2002 N oh fuck crap is there n e way to take away your name and email away from your post? i NEED help please please contact me if its possible
26 Oct 2002 Kev Drink until you nearly pass out, with 'Electric Storm' on by U2 and then, with a bottle of paracetamol in your hands, realise that life has a lot more to offer than killing yourself.
25 Oct 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy flew to me on a plane because of a general lust for a breasted sex goddess. There was no way I was letting him come near me with his huge bishop, and so with my tongue I sliced it clean in two.
He now resides underneath my bed. When feeling generous I allow him a crust or two of bread.

The lesson to be learnt here is this -
do not fall in love with a Cortina.

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