Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
09 Dec 2002 jessie Hold your head under water for as long as you can
09 Dec 2002 Deva Light yourself on fire with gasoline to protest the savage inhumanity of our times...
09 Dec 2002 Felicia Well, I know a good way you can kill yourself. Get into some hobby like me.
1.) Take surfing lessons. You have a great chance of hitting a rock or getting eaten by a shark.
2.) Go bungie jumping. Have a nice fall over a bridge somewhere.
3.) Go skydiving and forget your parachute.
4.) Go to East Palo Alto and wear a shirt saying you hate black people.
5.) Listen to Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People" song and head bob till your neck falls off.

If all else fails begin a life as a writer. They are very dramatic people.
08 Dec 2002 huis clos with kindness
08 Dec 2002 georgie First, u have to like pain and sex, then, go and steal as much stuff as u can, then, grab a live chicken, fuck it up the ass, which, to my experience is very painful, and cut off your limbs one by one, when you don't have any limbs left apart from one arm, stab yourself in the heart. that's wot im gunna do on christmas eve, hahaha
08 Dec 2002 Georgie Poison is the best way to kill yourself, it's quick and painless, or, you can always turn to the old fashioned razor, blood! blood! blood! HHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
08 Dec 2002 The dark one This ain't sick, for some kids it is the answer! I tried it when I was 12 and believe me slitting your wrists isn't right, not at 12 yrs old. Suicide is best under 13 when you're out on streets with nothing! I wish i had died.
08 Dec 2002 Lucy Cortina Billy, you and I both know the REAL reason you no longer posess an email address. It was all those half-nudie pictures of me that did it, wasn't it?
If 2 pillow cases cannot contain my womanly goods then no email address can.
Or maybe the email addy just wanted the pics of me all to itself and so banned you from entry.
Or... maybe George Dubya Bush is, as we speak, rifling through images of me with his greasy hands via a Whitehouse PC. They do say that the government have the rights to look through our mail (I always do wonder what happens to my copies of 'Mega Boys').
When Mr Bush decides to invade the UK in search of "weapons of mass destruction", you know what he's after!
America, here I come...
07 Dec 2002 Justin The way I see it, no one really, truly wants to die if they are asking for methods online. One would just do it.

But questions first need answered. Profound questions. Eternal questions. Once you're dead the answers come too late. Is there a God? Is there a heaven? A hell? A soul?

I say yes. Yes to all questions. So why is God not there for me you ask? Because your heart is so bitter that you hate yourself. You deny yourself all pleasures. The One who created you did not intend these painful things for you. You cherish instead things which God detests. You expel yourself further and further from Him each day.

Is this to say you will forget all pain by remembering God? No. However, what you experience here on earth is only a temporal pinprick compared to the everlasting joy God wants you to have in his heavenly kingdom.
07 Dec 2002 Lucy Cortina To reeta - I use mothballs in my bras. Is that a bad thing?
06 Dec 2002 Lucy Cortina *Squeals with delight* Oooh Billy, you naughty boy! I didn't expect a kiss and tell about our affair. I haven't even bought my weekly copy of HEAT magazine yet, I must have a look soon. I expect they put your interview somewhere in between Kylie Minogue's hotpants and Britney's pigtails.
It's almost Christmas. I'm expecting a lot of goodies and things to "unwrap". I wonder what's in santa's "sack" for me?
I hope I don't get one of those crappy prezzies where I have to say "It's the thought that counts...", when secretly I think it's a pile of ****. It's not the THOUGHT that counts - it's the PRESENT!!! I want a present that will mean that the rest of my life after receiving it will be an anti-climax. Not a snuff-box shaped like a banana!
A girl can dream. The best I can hope for this year is a pork pie in my hand, cranberry sauce in my hair and flashing my bottom out of the car-window in the freezing snow.
06 Dec 2002 Samuel Jackson Realize you're absurd, realize they're absurd. Get nuclear weapons. End randomness.
06 Dec 2002 cloud excessive masturbation. include sex toys - really fucked up sex toys.
05 Dec 2002 dead poet buy the kit
04 Dec 2002 reeta eat moth balls. pretend that it's just candies
04 Dec 2002 tony danza open a bank account
03 Dec 2002 ryan walk into a police station and go burt flump. then u get arse raped
the end
03 Dec 2002 billy - after my recent disappearance i was advised to hold a press conference and have an interview with some honest journalist, i don't really remember the name of the journalist, because i was stoned and it don't really matter. anyways, here are some of the questions and my answers.

Q: billy, after you went missing in action alot of talk started running around, so the question is where have you been?
A: when i was younger my mother always said "why don't you join the circus?" so, i wanted to live up to her dream. i got a job shoveling elephant shit for a travelling circus. the job itself was horrible, but the benefits was worth all the shit, free popcorn and all the mountain dew i could drink, plus the ring master's daughter put out, and you know and for mom.
Q: that sounds exciting, so then what happened?
A: well, when they started calling me billy the shit boy i knew it was time to rock and roll, when we got to great britain, i ran seeking refuge with an old friend.
Q: who was this old friend?
A: lucy cortina.
Q: hey, isn't she the one with the big...
A: yeah.
Q: was she suprised to see you?
A: this was the first time we ever met, i guess she didn't expect me to be so handsome, so she threw me under the bed, in attempt to hide me from her snotty british friends. she wanted to keep me all for herself you see.
Q: of course, so billy, how did you feel being under the bed?
A: i felt with my hands, unfortunately i didn't get to feel much of lucy, for when my hand crept from under the bed -WHACK- with the hair brush handle, it was a neat handle because it doubled as a scalp massager, it vibrated. all in all it was good, but i had to go.
Q: why did you have to go?
A: her sister kept sneaking under the bed and insisting i play dolls with her. you see, i am a manly american man i don't play with dolls, unless the have on camo and little plastic guns, it's the american way.
Q: so where did you go from there?
A: first i went to the hard rock cafe in london, then i went home, i was pretty tired by then.
Q: one more question billy, what has happened to your email address?
A: i received a piece of email from afghanistan, and like a dope i opened it. my poor pc got anthrax, he didn't make it.
02 Dec 2002 kelley davis shoelaces, safety pins, bite sized razor bits, a large container of chocolate covered popcorn kernals and a heating blanket to wrap yourself in after consumption, and a LOT of heroin with dirty dirty needles from a Ugandan STD ward
02 Dec 2002 ryan Sell all your belongings (to an arab) then take all your money and spend it on drugs. then get really wasted say when a carnival is on. then put a pole up your arse then jump arse first off of a high building. (for added excitement aim for the carnival queen)
this is the best way of killing urself cos you'll die happy and definitely make the front page.

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