|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|14 May 2003||just a girl|| ***K-MART SHOPPING LIST***
1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Put some M&M's on lay by.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone??!!"
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose or scratch yourself.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.' (this one's for lucy :P)
11. While handling knives in the kitchen department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. (my personal favourite)
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. (also for lucy)
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud..... "Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"
|14 May 2003||just a girl||"my first smile"
oh could it be? really.. could it be? oh god tell me (not that there is one, sorry to disappoint you!).. could it be possible that i committed such a surreal and absurd act of this demeaning and nauseating vile world that i currently live in (that includes the schizophrenic world i've now created in my head as well).. how is it possible that anything was able to bring about such a miracle but such a sham at the same time.. which merely imitated but a former illusion of myself.. which is so far from reality.. so far from the truth.. and now so far from myself.. that presently exits..
i smiled today :)
And i'll tell u a little secret my humble and gracious fellow readers: I almost fainted!!! no joke.. the tremendous yet synthetic courageous act (or should i say.. crime?) which i committed just moments ago almost knocked me off my feet!! which perhaps might have been a little funny to any viewer near by.. watching my school skirt fly 100 miles over my head.. which would in turn bring about the scrutiny of my sexy black lace underwear, i'm sure (god knows why i still bother to wear sexy underwear.. oh, wait there is no god!) which might actually make someone else smile :)
But oh no.... must i go to jail now??? will some strapping young man in a uniform come use handcuffs on me? hehe memories.. but aww :(
"I dun wana go to da jail Mr.. pwese pwese dun make me!" (no lucy cortina stories in jail!) "it was only one wittle smile!"
Anyway by now i'm guessin you're all wondering what on earth made me commit this horrendous crime in the first place.. well i came here to share it with you all.. perhaps create another to commit the same crime.. enjoy :)
|14 May 2003||the gay punk||to PC me:
you're a bitch.
first of all if you're gonna come out of the closet and you're gonna proclaim the love of your life and then swear to kill yourself. Please do not use the name Derek. please don't. You're getting me in trouble. we have the same.. oh god, these seven year old kids are hanging around behind me to the computer to the right. oh fuck these straight assholes. they should die, with their stupid pokemon.
anyways, DO NOT USE the name Derek. Please for the love of God (who coincidentally is someone I don't believe in). My crush has the same name. He will kill me if he sees this entry of yours. He will kill me. He hates me. I love him. He drives me crazy, blah blah... you know how it is. he will mistake you for me. and again, he will kill me.
second of all, since i'm sort of out here too. I have the experiences you have. i'm a fag. my dad hopes i die of aids. i'm unwanted. but sweetie, you'll live throgh that. you will. you'll find someone who'll complete you (maybe he'll look like the guy you're in love with now). life sucks. i'm 15 but i have probably been in more shit than your normal 21 year old. i'm still alive. so yeah... and you can get over him, you know.
oh shit, more straight people, must leave...
|13 May 2003||PC me||I wana use this website for a dedication to my lovely boyfriend Derek. Like they do on radio when they play a song and dedicate it to some old biddy that is half deaf anyway.
This one is for you, my sweet Derek. From your Phil. I love you today and always.
- - - oh yeh u mite also b able to tell from this that im gay. im a fag. wow! how shocking! its like Lucy Cortina WITHOUT breasts but WITH a bra!
|13 May 2003||david||1 pack of cigarettes, a glass of water, soak and drink|
|12 May 2003||Erica||Well i'm tryin to find out how to kill myself also... i mean sometimes i'm deeply depressed.. but others i'm fine.. but i still want to kill myself b/c i don't think death is a bad thing. For people who are happy they thrive on every breath they take in, but if ur not happy why even continue... there's no point... if ur not happy now... it can't get much worse.. so if someone's got a good way to kill themselves.. email me!|
|12 May 2003||Karen||i know a really good way!! not to kill yourself at all!! no ofense to u but that is really stupid!|
|12 May 2003||Felicia in PMS mode||Hmphf! Snotty celebs on my recent website. No offense to you Lucy. It's these prima donnas have already gotten their boob jobs and I have none. They are fashioning up their Shakira like qualities and shaking their small, small asses. Left and warmed out like a melted crayon. Farted out like a can of pinto beans, thrown in a bleached pool and making my blonde highlights look green. Where's the deodorant?!! GADS!! There is none! I'm out of pads, I ran out of tampons!!!
Help! Help! Someone drank my last can of TAB cola!!!
|11 May 2003||sarah||i don't know about under 13. i'm now 21, i have seriously thought about overdosing, i even tried it, but realised what i was doing was not very clever, and so made myself sick. one of my best friends tried to kill herself yesterday, and believe me, if you're thinking about doing it, especially if u r only under 13, don't. i got teased at school, and thought nothing good would ever happen to me, but it does. but how r u ever gonna know what will happen if u decide to end it, cause if i had of gone through with it, all it would've caused was hurt and regret, and that's not worth it.|
|11 May 2003||just a girl||oh and auntie lucy... you will have to wait till next time to hear my naughty confessions.. ;) (althought im not too sure they will measure up to that of a sexually breast obsessed gal.. like urself)
|11 May 2003||just a girl||"Thank god for television!" is my quote for today.. as i woke to the inevitable and unbearable phenomenon of being, well, me... just a girl..
But of course waking at 3am in the morning does arise a certain feeling and/or thought, in this profound, yet slightly insane head of mine.. what to do? what on earth can i do with myself at an hour like this.. what pessimistic activity must i encounter in order for me to stay alive, for yet another day.. another obnoxious day in which i must find pointless deeds to be done to prevent me from wondering into my kitchen to find that handsomely large glistening knife.. which sits peacefully and patiently in mummy's drawer... waiting for me.
But at 3am?? what activity is present for a 16-year-old lonely, depressed, anorexic and suicidal girl such as myself to take part in.. no computer in site.. no kittens playing with bubble wrap.. no chocie biscutes to digest in the emaciated tummy which lies before me.. no lucy cortina stories to read!.. no noise.. no sound.. only the constant humming of the diluted thoughts running through my head..(oh my!) what to? do what to do?... and suddenly.. as my hand scrambled through my sheets to find an exit, (intending to head to that kitchen draw of mummy's) i came across a long, black mechanism... yes it was.. my tv remote.. "peep".. and to my delight a sudden glow entered my room.. "but wait! there's more..."
And as the sun came up this gloomey sunday morning (mother's day.. o yippee yay..) i had made it through another night watching danoz direct adds talk about the one and only.. 'abb-doer' (is there a boobie-doer too?) as the morning hours passed me by..
"Thank god for television!"
|11 May 2003||Lucy Cortina||Dear just a girl:
This site is wondefrul eh? Like a boobie love parlour. If you want to say anything, I am here :) Any naughty confessions u would like to make to auntie Cortina?
|11 May 2003||April||let's see.. don't do it . It's not worth it. I myself am 22 and I am thinking of it everyday and have tried but didn't accomplish anything. I have a friend who is 14 wanting to kill herself and I can`t find ways to help her.|
|11 May 2003||Harmeet (call me tools) cstrike||A little contribution to the big black book of death... If you have read my earlier suggestion to commiting suicide, you would most likely think im a retard with some huge ass pyschological problems. Well, on the most part you are right, lol. I specifically have no intention of killing myself, even though up to this point in time life has treated me quite harshly, but hey life is never fair and you just have to deal with the problems that pass you by. To me, i'd have to say this whole site is a joke... the one person who has enough time to create a site on how to kill yourself not only needs to see a psychiatrist, but also needs a life, lol. So if you wanna suicide, and no matter what anyone else says you're going to do it anyways, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Don't cause yourself so much pain... Just use Carbon Monoxide and glue a note to your chest saying, "My parents never molested me enough!" Have Fun.|
|11 May 2003||Tatia||hang yourself with cable wire.|
|11 May 2003||shannon||I think most thirteen year olds probaly don't consider suicide. Actually when I was 13 I never thought about it because I used to be religious. But now I'm not and I'm 16 and considering suicide. My pain is too unbearable. People shouldn't talk about things they don't understand. Every morning I wake up and wish I didn't so today, May 10, 2003 I won't have to wake up ever again. I am a hopeless case, others should seek help.|
|10 May 2003||Killerbean||My life sucks .. i juz wanted you to know that .. i have been trying to kill myself since i was 11 i think .. im 13 now .. im having some hard time killing myself .. i keep getting stopped by images of friends and .. well actually not family cause i hate every1 .. .. i need a quick way out .. juz a rope r smthing ... heres a thing for others .. i wont do it .. not yet anyway .. run into the police station .. start talking smthing about the world ending and start drawing a gun ... if they DO shoot you try to stick in there .. there is a 40 % change that you will live .. with the second bullet ... it goes down to 20 % .. 3. bullet 6 % and 4 bullet 2 % .. . any more .. and your dead for sure.. if u want buy a gun and take a couple of fuckers with you|
|10 May 2003||not||Dear gay,
Let me tell you a little story. I had a normal life, what I thought was a kind and loving family. Then I got a medical condition that was difficult to diagnose and caused some strange symptoms. Well, without going into detail, somehow my family got the idea that I might be gay.
I'm a curious person, so I did not tell them I wasn't gay to see how they would react. I was the same person, didn't act gay in any way shape or form (because I am not) and didn't do or say anything that would "upset" a heterosexual person. Well do you know what happened?
In a few days they started to treat me
differently, acting mean. My dad stop referring to me by name and talking to me directly, just referring to me as "him". I had to fight to get someone to talk with me for 10 minutes whereas before I would have to cut conversations short.
So you know what I did. I didn't say anything for another week. You know what the behavior continued and members of my own family said things to me I couldn't believe.
Then you know what I realized? My family are a bunch of freakin BIGOTS. That me as a person is insignificant to what they "perceive" I am.
BIGOTS are the sum of the earth. If you are a bigot you are the slime that covers slime.
So one day I told my mom. Oh yeah, I am
not gay. Well hallelluyah (sp). Suddenly I am worth talking to. My jokes are "funny" again. My opinion matters.
But now I know the truth.
99.99% of the human population are Bigoted moronic fucks.
|10 May 2003||Lucy Cortina||Normally just before 6pm in the evening, my mum says to me:
"Lucy, I'm going to have a bath at six!" so that if I need the loo I could quickly go, before she used the bathroom to sit in her own filth - surrounded by bubbles - for 10 hours.
So it came as a shock yesterday when she said:
"Lucy, I'm going in the shed at six!"
Millions of horrific thoughts raced through my innocent brain at that precise moment. Thoughts like:
"Has she become a Victorian and now takes baths in a cast iron tub with carbolic soap, using the shed to spare her blushes?"
It will be more than my thick skin can stand if we have to start wearing lacy blouses and wearing skirts as long as the Eiffel tower. And have to sit in front of a coal fire sipping mint infused tea, saying "we are not amused" when a newsreader wearing makeup (i.e. - all of them) appears on the TV screen (which incidentally would be black and white, so god knows how we could tell makeup from the fuzz).
She was, infact, going to pot some new plants for her flowerbeds. I have explained to her before that gardening is a hobby for people who get to that stage in life where they.. well... no longer have a life.
My granddad once told me that, as a child, my mum used to sneak off into the shed with her mates for a quick cigarette, and he would see clouds of smoke emitting from the shed. As I know what a naughty woman my mum is, I went outside at 6pm to investigate my suspicions.
Sure enough, clouds of smoke were emitting from the shed! As I got closer, I could smell burning strawberry.
"Oh nooooo! Mum may have finally flipped and is murdering Dad's entire home-grown fruit and veg collection!" I thought.
Mum was annoyed last week because Dad seemed to be spending so much time playing Madonna records to his cabbages and sprouts in the garden, to try and get them to grow and reproduce (or whatever it is that cabbages and sprouts do, apart from make you fart). He had been playing Madonna's "Get Into The Groove" (what a perverted title for a song!) when Mum snapped, and ripped dad's favourite cabbage from the soil. She then proceeded to boil the cabbage in a pan - the screams of the poor cabby could be heard for miles around.
Anyway, back to the present - I feared opening the door to the shed, as I may have discovered my Mum gleefully covered in strawberry flesh, armed with a potato peeler.
Eventually I opened the door... to discover Mum sat in the corner, looking all dopey. She had what looked like a cigarette in her hand. But sticking out form the nub of the cig was... wait for it... a strawberry! It was all black and bubbly.
"Do youshhh wantsshh shuuuum?" 'asked' my mum.
Why, oh why, did I not commit suicide sooner? I ran back to the house screaming, and took out mum's vitamin C tablets, and shoved a load into my mouth.
Which is when I remembered the "cod-liver-oil-tablet-overdose" escapade. Noooo! I was going to end up like an orange! As if I don't already have enough orange-peel skin on my thighs...
|10 May 2003||just a girl||well mouchette.. i am very thankful for ur website.. although i must suggest, u should really change the name... UNDER 13? mmmm at least let the little kiddies have a childhood before we open them up to our hatred of life and love for suicide answers... perhaps change to... for teenagers? as most of ur readers are teenagers, not many under 13.. thank god.. but still i must thank you for ur website.. it has helped me in my dark times.. instead of crying in my room with my music so loud i didn't have to hear the rest of the world, wallowed in my self pity, i come here and read fabulous lucy cortina's wild stories.. so thank you lucy... by the way who are you? how old are you? and how have u managed to stay alive for this long? ... mouchette's website i'm guessing? and your boobies? who knows.. but still write back to me if u feel like a chat... im 16 yr old girl.. and just wanted to join in on ur fun.. oh and who is mouchette? byebye for now...|