|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|15 May 2003||katryne||le silence|
|15 May 2003||Lucy Cortina||It was like in that film. Four weddings and a funeral. Except it was four parties, and my boobie-funeral. The parties were all crap.
But yeh, I decided against a cremation of my boobies. If ghosts do exist, then I'm sure that boobie-ghosts also exist. So I need to retain my boobies - even if they are in a wooden box surrounded by mud and worms - so that my boobie-ghosts may return to their pert, proud, and enormous former selves.
As I was in the big room where they allow you personal time with your departed loved ones, I looked down at the beautiful boobies, and cried. They had been arranged so as to look beautiful and "at peace" by the undertaker. They were even surrounded by little daisy chain necklaces. Now ain't that sweet!
I once heard a rumour that dead people fart. The gas builds up, and then suddenly releases!
As my boobsie-woosie's had learned how to fart just before they so tragically died, they both gave off their last (and loud!) burst of gas. Then it was almost like I could see them, rising up... up to Heaven. Or maybe that was just the cloud of fart-gas, who knows.
My boobies were gone. For eternity. Never to be seen again.
Here's a lesson for you people suicide is so NOT worth it. My breasts were so selfish, and have left Lucy Cortina a broken girl. I may end up like Mariah Carey, thinking that people are plotting against me, and leaving crazy messages on Eminem's answer-machine.
That would be a shame, eh?
Anyway I buried my collection of shopping bags, leather bras and co. with the boobies, so at least they won't have to float around Heaven all naked and exposed, like the angels do, or Adam & Eve... or even Adam & Steve.
Now, won't ya all say a little prayer for me...?
|15 May 2003||Penny||Basically i have cancer. I WILL die. I have no choice. You all have the opportunity to live, I know it's hard sometimes but you have to.
So next time you consider it, think of me. I'm going to die no matter what, in less than a year i should think. I will never have children, never see them grow.
You have the opportunity to do all that I can't and so much more. So grasp it with both hands and next time you feel like ending it all, think of people like me.
|15 May 2003||just a girl||oh and to 'the gay punk'... u think im funny? haha i think thats funny :P but good i guess.. i was just tryin to cheer up all the people who have lost hope.. in this diluated world.. like myself.. but i just tell it like it is.. tell my life like it is.. and my thoughts like they are.. even if they are a little absurd!!!
its all good.. u dont need to be funny.. just be yourself :)
for thats all i do.. for im..
just a girl....
|15 May 2003||just a girl||"My Utopia"
My nirvana.. my ecstasy.. my heaven on earth (more like hell).. which consists of the most simplest simplicities is what keeps me alive now.. since ive become this.. since ive become.. a non-entity.. lost inside my nothingness.. how can one describe this feeling? is there even a word to describe this numbness.. this disease that feeds off my insides.. slowly and excruciatingly eating away at my soul.. at my heart.. and at any feelings of love or hope that formerly existed deep inside me.. that is ripping every reminiscence of me piece by piece.. like parasites on a bit of left over trash.. this dead decaying mass is taking over.. and i soon will be left.. as just a fragment.. a fragment of a memory to some.. soon..
But until that day arrives.. i thought for today's lesson i would share with you.. "my utopia"
My list of things that consist in my utopia..
1) TV!!!!! go television.. as i always say "thank god for television!" where on earth would we be without televison? honestly.. what did that numbskull who created this world think we were going to do with all the bloody time we are given to waste? but luckily he created us smart enough to produce such a mechanism.. such a marvellous invention which successfully works as a diversion from the unfulfilling fruitless (GO BANANAS! WOO YEA!) reality we currently strive to live in.. how much of a miracle is it that we can feel better and escape our own misery by watching someone else's? a little ironic eh? but as good ol' avril says "waking up to another tv guide :)" (in a canadian accent that is.. avril ROX).. which brings me to my next simplicity:
2) MUSIC! oooooh yea.. i swear i could have an orgy over some music i hear.. music is my sweet blissfull release.. for listening to my neurotic thoughts as i doze off is barely a child's lullaby.. i would get no sleep if it wasnt for music.. however listening to some lyrics of music out today does make me wonder.. what horrendous pain and unspeakable (singable tho :P) experiences have these people gone through? for i can relate to a lot of the music i listen to!! ha!!! (no wonder i dont listen to no britney spears!) for all u out there.. somewhat like myself.. i recommend u listen to the melodies of 'Evanescence'- brilliant shit! or perhaps something a little softer.. more tranquil.. a little benny harper did no harm :)
3) Chocolate... it is proven that chocolate actually releases endorphins into the bloodstream.. and and wait for it... IT MAKES U HORNY! :P so they say.. and if u can get some.. (unlike me.. aw.. i miss my sex life.. tear..) why not indulge yourself and put u in da mood with a little sickly sweet taste... ;)
4) SEX!!! like i said.. if u can get some.. great exercise too.. i recommend in da shower.. it used to be my fav place ;)
5) THIS DAMN WEBSITE!!!!!
Well thats enough from me tonight folks.. i hope u might consider to 'spoil' yourself to some of my 'luxuries' (maybe even add to my list?) to perhaps feel a little less empty.. even if it is only for a split second.. it still helps..
|15 May 2003||just a girl||Mouchette! i am shocked! what on earth is a girl like me doing in your 'favourites' list?? oh do tell.. after all i am.. Just a girl :P
(and where has that lucy cortina gal got to? i'm missing those stories i live for.. o dear...)
|14 May 2003||the gay punk||oh yeah i forgot to tell you... there's this thing in our school today that we can go outside coz it's sunny, and the love of my life was pitching baseballs. one time his speed was 96 miles an hour. how romantic, he's strong. i hope he doesn't hit me with anything (or he'll go to jail for doing a hate crime). i love him, fucking prick.
there's this guy named dj shadow and he is so cute and intelligent. i wanna have him. and his music is good too.
and another thing. i lost all my dignity today. i envisioned this perfect guy who looks like this biker from Oz with a big dick and then the guy who looked like him was a BUS DRIVER. i'm in love with a bus driver. shit!!!
|14 May 2003||the gay punk||oh god, just a girl is so funny... why am i not funny, i'm a fag, so i have to be funny, but i'm not, i'm just a stupid queen. but i have tits (sorry lucy)
oh my god canada sucks so much ass. here in canada, yes gay people are freer, but anyways have you heard about this girl Holly from Toronto. she is ten years old, kidnapped and found dead (oh i know all of you wish that was you eh?) poor fucking kid, but hey, she's probably gunna end up as a slut if she was still alive. good luck on your suicide attempts
p.s. i wanna be funny before i die, so tell me all your secrets.
|14 May 2003||PC||fuck the world
I don't care
Life just sucks
I'm in hell
I'ts time to go
so bye bye all
see you up there
in Heaven down the hall.
(I live in a massage parlour).
|14 May 2003||Dirty Jew||Take 20 pills of Coricidin CCC,Then an entire liter of vodka and make sure you're prepared with tons of fun things such as knives,explosives and guns. Now, get dropped off by a very busy road with few places to retreat to, such as houses or stores. If the substances don't polish you off, then the cars or weapondry will.|
|14 May 2003||emilie||pills|
|14 May 2003||nobody||Jesus is the only way out and he will help you. This website should not be here. But may God Bless all you guys.|
|14 May 2003||just a girl|| ***K-MART SHOPPING LIST***
1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Put some M&M's on lay by.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone??!!"
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose or scratch yourself.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.' (this one's for lucy :P)
11. While handling knives in the kitchen department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. (my personal favourite)
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. (also for lucy)
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud..... "Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"
|14 May 2003||just a girl||"my first smile"
oh could it be? really.. could it be? oh god tell me (not that there is one, sorry to disappoint you!).. could it be possible that i committed such a surreal and absurd act of this demeaning and nauseating vile world that i currently live in (that includes the schizophrenic world i've now created in my head as well).. how is it possible that anything was able to bring about such a miracle but such a sham at the same time.. which merely imitated but a former illusion of myself.. which is so far from reality.. so far from the truth.. and now so far from myself.. that presently exits..
i smiled today :)
And i'll tell u a little secret my humble and gracious fellow readers: I almost fainted!!! no joke.. the tremendous yet synthetic courageous act (or should i say.. crime?) which i committed just moments ago almost knocked me off my feet!! which perhaps might have been a little funny to any viewer near by.. watching my school skirt fly 100 miles over my head.. which would in turn bring about the scrutiny of my sexy black lace underwear, i'm sure (god knows why i still bother to wear sexy underwear.. oh, wait there is no god!) which might actually make someone else smile :)
But oh no.... must i go to jail now??? will some strapping young man in a uniform come use handcuffs on me? hehe memories.. but aww :(
"I dun wana go to da jail Mr.. pwese pwese dun make me!" (no lucy cortina stories in jail!) "it was only one wittle smile!"
Anyway by now i'm guessin you're all wondering what on earth made me commit this horrendous crime in the first place.. well i came here to share it with you all.. perhaps create another to commit the same crime.. enjoy :)
|14 May 2003||the gay punk||to PC me:
you're a bitch.
first of all if you're gonna come out of the closet and you're gonna proclaim the love of your life and then swear to kill yourself. Please do not use the name Derek. please don't. You're getting me in trouble. we have the same.. oh god, these seven year old kids are hanging around behind me to the computer to the right. oh fuck these straight assholes. they should die, with their stupid pokemon.
anyways, DO NOT USE the name Derek. Please for the love of God (who coincidentally is someone I don't believe in). My crush has the same name. He will kill me if he sees this entry of yours. He will kill me. He hates me. I love him. He drives me crazy, blah blah... you know how it is. he will mistake you for me. and again, he will kill me.
second of all, since i'm sort of out here too. I have the experiences you have. i'm a fag. my dad hopes i die of aids. i'm unwanted. but sweetie, you'll live throgh that. you will. you'll find someone who'll complete you (maybe he'll look like the guy you're in love with now). life sucks. i'm 15 but i have probably been in more shit than your normal 21 year old. i'm still alive. so yeah... and you can get over him, you know.
oh shit, more straight people, must leave...
|13 May 2003||PC me||I wana use this website for a dedication to my lovely boyfriend Derek. Like they do on radio when they play a song and dedicate it to some old biddy that is half deaf anyway.
This one is for you, my sweet Derek. From your Phil. I love you today and always.
- - - oh yeh u mite also b able to tell from this that im gay. im a fag. wow! how shocking! its like Lucy Cortina WITHOUT breasts but WITH a bra!
|13 May 2003||david||1 pack of cigarettes, a glass of water, soak and drink|
|12 May 2003||Erica||Well i'm tryin to find out how to kill myself also... i mean sometimes i'm deeply depressed.. but others i'm fine.. but i still want to kill myself b/c i don't think death is a bad thing. For people who are happy they thrive on every breath they take in, but if ur not happy why even continue... there's no point... if ur not happy now... it can't get much worse.. so if someone's got a good way to kill themselves.. email me!|
|12 May 2003||Karen||i know a really good way!! not to kill yourself at all!! no ofense to u but that is really stupid!|
|12 May 2003||Felicia in PMS mode||Hmphf! Snotty celebs on my recent website. No offense to you Lucy. It's these prima donnas have already gotten their boob jobs and I have none. They are fashioning up their Shakira like qualities and shaking their small, small asses. Left and warmed out like a melted crayon. Farted out like a can of pinto beans, thrown in a bleached pool and making my blonde highlights look green. Where's the deodorant?!! GADS!! There is none! I'm out of pads, I ran out of tampons!!!
Help! Help! Someone drank my last can of TAB cola!!!