Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
03 Jun 2003 Tabby Lay in the McDonalds play house ball pit, and when your obese mom comes in to get you grab her by the leg which will lead to her falling on you and crushing every bone in your body leaving you either dead or paralyzed and really pissed....
03 Jun 2003 will he he, Just a girl. it's the fact that there are so many of these damn buggies over here in UK. My loft is my safe haven, to hide away from the real world. And what do i do up there, well, i'll leave that to everyone's imagination. Hope you got clean minds like me;) not.... back to the loft.......
02 Jun 2003 Felicia was rescued by Lucy It has been exposed. The #1 killer of the brain is excessive television with numerous amounts of reality shows involving "contests with boobies", The subliminal messages in those shows during commercial breaks are quite harmful. You see skinny attractive youths on cell phones, bandashering their silicone filled boom booms and bare midrift tubbies. Some of the teenage girls say, "Look at me! Look at me! I can flash my cute pertly titties! ( I see Lucy doing the same on the sidelines here.)" Of course the little boys get horny, and here I am feeling, very, very, "without". It so bothersome sometimes as I turn off the set and head of to the market to purchase a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream after a brief commercial. On the way home, I pull out a drawer, peel the ice cream lid and start scooping. Then I start crying.... and then I start scooping, because my boobs aren't big enough. I head up the stairs and look in my drawer of "not nots" and "what nots" then all of a sudden, out of the drawer appeared a set of water boobies that Lucy Cortina bought for me last Christmas. I sniffed it slowly since it still had the scent of plastic, placed it beneath my bra, pushed up my boom booms and shook again to the rap song of "Baby Got Rack!"
As daring as I was, I drove to the record store wearing a tight top and curvy belly midrift pants. The guys did stop and stare... Yes... I saw a set of long, longs, across the way. The cashier at the front of the store rung up my cd and all he stared at was my breasts. I then looked up and found he was handsome and hand a long, long.

It was then that he asked me out for coffee.

Thanks, Lucy Cortina, SS Double Agent 00,
I love you!!!! Thanks for saving my life...

By the way, what's up with Billy the Freak?
02 Jun 2003 Lucy Cortina Just a girl, don't do this to me. You know full well that my dearest passed away more than a week ago. They were my only weapons.
When I was sent to my psychiatric unit, they searched me before I went in. They even removed my bra (big mistake!), so as I couldn't hang myself with it. As soon as they had lifted this dam, my oceana of breast-flesh was released. They seemed unbothered and just carried on with their search.
"What, no weapons of mass destruction?" I said, even though my weapons were clearly in front of me. It's not as if I could use my breasts to slash my arms or anything, though.
"We have to check everyone", said the nurse.
"Well you should check my home then. My sister shits on my bed, my dog eats my bras, my dad is a tranny and got mum pregnant by getting mum to sit on his dick and do the work herself, and my uncle is from a pre-Beatles era. Go on, go on then, check me you bastards!"

I was discharged within the hour.
02 Jun 2003 Bonnie Stop Eating
02 Jun 2003   Make me young!
02 Jun 2003 Emily I've read a lot about suicide, and it seems that the popular ways (slashing wrists, OD) don't, or rarely work. I'm definitely going to commit suicide, but still have not found a good way. I've only told my boyfriend, but promised him I would never really do it. On the outside I have a wonderful life. I'm dating a wonderful guy who is always faithful and loving. i am extremely intelligent, compose music, write poetry, have a few good friends. That shows you how powerful the depression is. I can't tell anyone who might help me, if my parents knew how bad it was, they'd watch me like hawks, which I've had enough of without them knowing. I plan to leave a suicide note in the form of a short book/novel I've spent a few weeks writing on my computer. My boyfriend will be devastated. I feel awful about that.
02 Jun 2003 just a girl ay will baby! haha take a look at lucy's last post!!! do u guys live near each other? perhaps it was the same lit ol' lady on her buggie!!!

ahh well i have to get back to studying.. damn exams! sorry guys no silly stories from me tonight (if anyone actually reads them?).. the telling of my mad life will have to wait till another day.. stay tuned for the next episode.. :)

ps.. will wat is it that you do up in that loft all day ay?!
02 Jun 2003 will hhmmm, i tried to hang myself today, with some washing line ive got. i got scared at the last minute. im just a worthless piece of shit. im just sat here staring at this line. 'Go on do it', i hear everyone say, but im just too scared. perhaps one day. i shall keep the line in my draw......
02 Jun 2003 will phew! thank god youre still here just a girl:) Well, i came down from the loft on Friday, because i had visitors, yes visitors. That is a pretty rare thing. anyway, before they turned up, our neighbours were running everywhere. And then, three police cars, a police van and an ambulance pulled up. I thought, what the fuck. Actually i said it out loud!! I'm not sure, but i wondered if someone had been murdered. Well, it's not unknown in my area. We are also overrun with those damn electric buggy things. I'm forever getting out of their way in the town, or else they run you over. So i reckon someone was murdered by one where i live, or someone murdered a buggy to get their own back! Oh, i'm going back up the loft. I'm talking nonsense.......
01 Jun 2003 just a girl omg! do you know what our shitty governement has gone and done now? i mean its bad enough our governor general (or previous governor general should i say?).. was a child sex abuser.. but this.. this is just NOT COOL!
they have gone and taken all the pro-ana sites off the net! yes thats right! for some reason they think they have the 'right' to take away what is rightfully ours.. you cant just go taking these things away from people when u feel like it!!! what the hell is wrong with these people!!! (its like taking away our air we need to breathe!) what ever happened to being a damn democracy and freedom of speech (or type).. and individual rights!!! and.. and.. what ever the hell else we are!!! oh dear!!! mouchie!!! what if 'they' soon think they can take away your site too? o dear! o dear! what if 'they' think this site is bad too and remove it? o dear! o dear! what on earth would we all do?? (die maybe?) i dunno about you guys.. but this site is beginning to be the only thing i got left!!! so ill be damned if i let 'them' take it away from me!!! grrrrrrrr 'they' will not get away with this so easily... oh no... something must be done.. someone must do something... and that someone is me!!!
'tick' (and a lightbulb switches on in my head) yesssssss that someone is me!!! i will stop them... that government will never know what hit them... muhahahhaha...

ps... lucy i think i need your SSSS intelligence here!!! care to join me in a kill-your-governement-the-fucking-bastards-massacre? this could be a tricky mission... not one for the faint hearted....... :)
01 Jun 2003 dirt knapp i can't tell you how to kill yourself but i'm gonna see if sleeping pills will work... you can buy them anywhere. be careful don't buy them all at once or you'll raise suspicions. believe me, i'm 36 years old and it ends tonight. there's no hope life gets harder as you get older. you're always a slave and there's always someone trying to fuck you over. don't worry it doesn't get better, just a lot of heartache and unimaginable pain. i've realized god is make believe so i don't even have hell to look forward to. were all sheep part of a big experiment. there's no god and humans are evil. kill yourself now i promise to be dead by the night . don't cry for me i will hate you for it. fuck every one and every thing this fucking ball of shit has ever spawned!!!
31 May 2003 Lucy Cortina If only you could die laughing. If only that way of suicide worked.
I have just seen an old lady in one of those old-lady-buggies die a horrible death.
She was whizzing along the pavement in her buggy, when it got out of control. It got faster and faster until the wheels caught on the pavement and it flew into the air, did a summersault over the hedge, and the old lady landed in a field on her back and died.
All the people from the local church were rushing to her rescue, crying, and praying.

I just walked on and started laughing and wheezing once I had got around the corner.
31 May 2003 Samantha I'm now 14 years and my life is a living hell. i cut myself like crazy intil i bleed soo much i cant take the pain. soo i cut myself to help me feel better. i get made fun of bc of the way i dress. people are cruel and unkind. i dont see the point of it. people would be like: then dont dress that way, and im like: i like it but i dont see the point of scream FREAK at my face soo what im gothic... ever since 11 years old i wanted to die bc of what my dad did to me and my mom i was beatin and i felt soo hopeless i always feel betrayed and i.. people look at me and say my life is so much worse and u have it easy its not easy im very depressed i feel theres no reason to go on and whats the point when u die anyways soo why cant i save myself from the pain some of have different probs some the same but it doesnt matter its like all the same when u wake up and just and wanted to sleep forever. my whole family treats me like fuckin shit i dont think its fair that i have to or others have to live this. i feel soo lonely even when some people do care it feels like nothing i just want death and i want it now it feels like there is no other way out of this im soo hopeless on life anymore i look down on everything ....
31 May 2003 Nicole First of all, aren't you at all worried that one of these insane children will "accidentally" actually kill themselves?! You would be responsible, be sent to prison for 10 years per kid and get had by a whole bunch of old ex cons... this is the WORST way to go... so i really hope you start thinking about things. And if this is some sick way of getting ideas to kill yourself (which might just be likely) don't give up on life yet. But if you do, we will miss you and i hear shooting yourself in the temple is quick and only takes about .1 second. We will all miss sick people like you.
31 May 2003 sablo i don't know about being 13, but i do know about being 30... what a long messed up life its been.. if you feel at the age of 13 things are bad.. i wish i could be 13 again.. i was raised by a alcoholic mom, enough said there.. 20 years of torture.. find my way into a jail cell just to be released for 10 more years of madness, thought military would help, now i'm a deserter of my country in a place i know nothing about and can not survive, i want out of this body and off this rock, they'll kill me for sure unless i beat them to it.. first time i tried my knife wasn't sharp enought i hate this world and everyone in it.. if i find a way off this rock i'm coming back to it just to blow it to hell, i say you and be band together and find a way off this rock life can be better somewhere else if we make the rules
31 May 2003 Sabriel I'm 13 and I really just want to end my life... but something stops me everytime... like I'll miss someone or I won't have ever done this or just whatever... I want it to be painless and quick... what is the best way? Oh and how to I get over stopping myself?
30 May 2003 Nikki take every possible cleaning detergent under your sink and bottoms up
30 May 2003 Shelynn i think the best way to kill urself if u r under 13 is by slicing ur wrists or shooting urself, u could always drug urself too
30 May 2003 just a girl “superman”

my dearest lucy do not fear.. i am still here.. (unfortunately).. i have not yet deserted you like your once warm beloved boobies have.. and my boobies have yet to enter that 'great boobie-home in the sky' (as i so vividly remembering you saying once)

and to my dear naomi… I am so sorry I cannot be ‘your master’ just yet.. for the jump was postponed.. and I am also sorry for my ‘go’ at you.. that was just a girl in pms.. intoxicated (with shit life) mood.

but no i am here.. it appears my up-chuck reflexes have yet again prevented me from doing the inevitable and taking the plunge (i must be superman).. instead my head took the plunge.. (into my toilet that is).. as i spent yesterday as one with my insides, yet again.. watching the nothingness disgorge from my empty stomach.. mainly consisting of my stomach lining and anything else left..
due to this i was unable to get my train.. to my 'final destination'.. and was stuck here once again.. with my beautiful friend.. my tv.. and my life flashing before me in the form of a 'the bold and the oh-so beautiful' episode..

this morning when i woke up however, feeling so faint and weak from the previous days upchucking performance.. i asked myself, "how long is this going to go on for?".. and i couldn’t answer.. and it made me so sad.. that i now have no control over myself any more.. i have no control over anything that happens, and every time something does.. it feels like someone is stabbing me in the gut with an extremely large knife.. but this time it doesn’t feel good.. because im not the one doing it..
and the most awful thing happens today.. I got used to it.
I got used to being like this.. it almost seems normal.. all my obsessive behaviour has become ‘normal’ and I can’t snap out of it.. since when did I check how much I weigh everyday? Since when was losing 1kg everyday not enough? Since when did I think I was too fat? But I am too fat.. since when do I write into this suicide website? Since when do I spend my lunchtimes and weekends alone? Cutting myself.. since when do I not speak to the people who mean the world to me everyday? Since when do I break their hearts? Since when did I hate myself so much that it has come to this.. and when I think about it.. i've always been like this.. what can u do when u realise it’s not the people around you that mess you up.. but yourself? How can u get away from your own mind? Oh god.. when is this ever going to stop.. sometimes I wish there was a god so I could ask that question.. but there isn’t.. and there is no hope…

And as i sat in a psychology lecture today i listened so intently to the man at the front of the room (despite my need for hell's cocktail & my friendly friend.. prozac), dressed ever-so neatly speaking the best he could.. about hypnosis, psychosis, schizophrenics, depression, anxiety problems and just about anything else that covered myself and could fall under my name.. and he said something that kinda struck me.. (like a lightening bolt from above).. and it was that our subconscious mind already knows the moment we are born, who we are, what is in stall for us, and what we are to become.. now from as far back as I can remember, the topic-at-hand here has always been in my mind.. even during the most of happiest times in my life it was still there.. lingering in the back of my mind like a scratch that never got itched.. i even remember back to my days in year seven.. when I would play ‘chicken’ with the ongoing cars that passed me by.. or stand with my arms out preparing to jump from the top of my roof.. however.. with this theory in place.. I thought.. shouldn’t I already be dead by now? For my subconscious and conscious has not only thought of suicide, but.. considered.. contemplated.. dreamt of and even, attempted.. so I don’t understand.. shouldn’t I be dead by now? If that is what my subconscious mind is always thinking about, doesn’t that mean that it is what should happen?

And I came to the conclusion..

I must be some kind of superman…

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