|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|13 Jun 2003||will||i wish i was dead.......|
|13 Jun 2003||just a girl||ps... howz that loft going will?
good to see you still around gay punk :)
and luce... you there?
oh! and naomi!!! u still here...? knife up ass and all! you must be bloody tired!
|13 Jun 2003||just a girl||"tomato soup"
A new theory has been born... quite a stupid theory if u ask me (even though it's mine) but it works...
At least to give a moment of 'saneness' in my insane life...
I have a theory I can 'wash' away my pain... oh yeah... Im sure you're thinking it sounds stupid now... but long baths and showers have now become my favourite past time... and I mean really long... (I had a bath for 4 hours the other day... so much for water restrictions)... perhaps this was because I had nothing better to do? Or because I passed out from not eating for so long? Who knows....?
But still... the belief has arisen somehow in this psychotic mind of mine... and it's almost like when I have a shower I can feel everything fade... everything is washed away... everything that makes me feel shit and awful and depressed just gets washed away and eventually ends up down the drain (like most things in my life).. and I get a 'clean-slate'... then again maybe I just like the running water for its now the only thing that can drown out my sobs.. they seem to get louder as each passing day goes by...
This week has been full of exams... exams exams exams which I probably failed at least half if not all... turning up having had no more than an hour's sleep the previous night... and still quite intoxicated (oh well)... but at least it means I only have to be at school for a few hours and get the rest of the day off.. (which, in-turn means I get to join the madness of my nonetheless beloved soap operas... (refer to just a girl post the bold and the oh-so beautiful if u really care enough to read my beliefs on that!) )
Today, I came home early after my psychology exam (fail).. and I had a bath :)
my cries as I entered and slammed my front door, away from the harsh reality of the world outside it, really were too much for me to bear today the sounds needed to be drowned... the feelings needed to be washed away so I headed to my bathroom and turned on the tap.. (trying not to look in the mirror as I undress Ill wait till my ribs are fulling showing to do that)
although it takes quite a while to fill... it is worth it in the end.. the melodies from my blasting stereo to my right and the running water of the tap to my left fill the room and consume me.. bliss...
as I lay head under (lets see how long I can hold my breath shall we?) the water.. I still feel the pain inside... wash wash wash!!! (I tell myself over and over).. I glance at my shower at the other end of my bathroom and see me in there all those days ago.. with him.. and I feel sick.. knowing I let him do the things he did to me....
I get my sponge and start to scrub.. my legs first.. my non-existing (thanks to my new friends at my pro-ana site who introduced me to the gummy bear and water diet.. yummy gummy bears) stomach next... then my arms.. I scrub so hard my arms starts to turn red.. and before I know it... my arms are covered in blood... I scrubbed so hard I re-opened my precious wounds from the night before... and the night before that... and the night before that... and so on and so forth...
What seemed like only moments later... and I was sitting in a blood-red bath..
You know how when youre in water too long.. and your skin wrinkles up like your grandmas face to tell you youve been in way too long? Well soon enough my fingers and toes were mimicking the likings of the roly-poly dog on the toilet paper adds.. (my grandmas dead.. so Im doubting I wasnt quite as wrinkled as her.. yet)... but every crack and wrinkle was filled with a red flowing river...
I swirl the water around with my index finger... slowly.. slowly.. and round and round.. it actually reminded my of my tomato soup dinners I would sometimes make for myself (if I had earned the right to have food that day).. but never actually ate.. just played with... always playing.. playing..
I think I sat numb in the bath for about 3 hours today.. before it actually hit me that my wash clean theory could no longer be in operation.. for I was sitting in a pool of my own blood (how familiar).. But unfortunately I didnt lose enough blood to kill myself (what a shame).. so I pulled the plug.. and I watched as part of me once again.. floated down the drain, and simply disappeared (how I would love to disappear)..
That night, I sat in reflection of my television and thought of my blood-red bath (I should do that more often!)... perhaps next time.. if I start scrubbing the gashes on my legs, then, perhaps I could lose enough.. just enough to finally take that to-do off my to-do-list which sits next to my bed (wonder if mummy has ever read it?)
And so.. as the darkness not only enters my mind, but the dark night sky outside as well.. I watched my friends on the bold and the oh-so beautiful fuck each others fathers and mothers (and brothers) as I made myself a nice bowl of tomato soup :)
After all... Ive earned it.... dont u think?
|13 Jun 2003||christine||what is the best way to kill yourself when your under 13, who gives a fuck! this a ridiculous and stupid thing to ask. The fucking site was made by sick fuckers! absolutely sick!!! who ever you are you have no fucking idea about life. life is never that bad, i have been in that position, thinking its all bad, but i know that no matter what i wouldn't do that to my family.
my god bless anyone who read this
|13 Jun 2003||Jessica||You are all fuckin sick... My boyfriend, best friend, and mother have all killed themselves.. none of you have obviously ever fuckin felt the pain that leads to suicide and to fuckin joke about it like you do is sick. I'm fuckin 15 and I obviously know more about this fuckin shit than any of you.|
|13 Jun 2003||the gay punk||news bulletin: i may never see the love of my life again. FUCK!!! what am i to do? he can't escape it. he can't plead innocent because there's so much fucking evidence against him. fuck. you're an idiot. if i ever see that assface again i'm gonna kick his face and kiss him to make him feel a little better. derek. you're a fucking idiot. why are you leaving me, why? you're the only thing that makes me alive alive alive and now all this shit is on my way.
and you know what's funny about this. this is the LAST DAYS OF SCHOOL. perfect timing, lord, fuck you. yeah call me a satanist i don't give a fuck what you think, really. you're the cause of my misery you asshole. you take away EVERYTHING FROM ME!!! you take me away from my freedom, you take me away from my friend and you give me this punishment-bitchiness-guilt-misery and you don't leave me the fuck alone. yeah, GOD would never ever grant my wish: to leave me and my fairyness in peace. instead of feeding poor people in africa or south america or all those people in the gutter of my beloved city. Don't you, my dear mouchette readers feel the same way? you walk out of bed, prepare coffee and say: i will change my miserable self and join the happy crowd and THEN, you walk out that door and what do you see? everyone hating towards you. only god can do that. fuck you lord..................................... moo................... moo........................... moo............. CHOMP!!!!!!
anna i am so sorry. anna, a good friend of mine, gave me this written statement: "give it up please he's gonna be ok stop overreacting." she also told me that this biching of mine is becoming a bit annoying recently. yes, i am a selfish bastard. i only care for my own self interest but none of you have at the LEAST OF COMPREHENSION of this underlying misery oh fuck do i have to do things in numberform again. guestar you make me sick you pervert, whack off on anna kournikova or tia carrerre or some big titted supermodel/star wouldya
1) the people in my life have been dropping like flies. this thing has been happening since i was in grade five, starting chronologically with benjie, then, nikki, clarisse (you let me get raped by those assholes i forgive you bich), then alex, kiel, andrew. derek was just the last straw anna. i wanna die. my friends are starting to drop like flies and moving away to be happy, then leaving me in hell. when i heard you telling me you might die one of these days i was stunned coz serioulsy, i need you, i need all of you to hold on to, but you're going one by one.
2) he's not gonna be ok, he might (will) fail the classes he has now, bound to repeat it... you know exactly what i'm talking about. as ive try to like you say anna dear, to look positively, that is just so impossible. he might NOT get a job because of this. i am still praying to the god that has enslaved me if he can get the fuck out of this mess but when i....
so i'm just gonna go retreat and shut the fuck up now. this might be my last entry. enjoy folks.
|13 Jun 2003||will||Ive had such a bad day. I wanted to cut myself so badly today. just a bad domestic problem. suicide was on my mind too, but i get too scared to do anything. ummm, i hate myself, and every else hates me, just cos im gay. hmmm, back up the loft to lick my wounds..........|
|13 Jun 2003||Bimmer||I think the best way would be to overdose on hard drugs. like alcohol or heroin or something. I dont' care i'm 17 and sick of this bullshit life. how are people supposed to live like this? Like kids can only take so much especially when nobody you talk to gives a fuck. what else are we supposed to do? cutting my arms got old, now drugs are my best friend. like fuck what next?|
|12 Jun 2003||Talena||Please just don't. Someone, somewhere will love you like you'll never believe. I promise you.|
|12 Jun 2003||chris||hands down, the easiest way to kill yourself is to watch wheel of fortune for two weeks straight. it will drive you to do anything to end it all.|
|11 Jun 2003||KissMyAss||Grow up!|
|11 Jun 2003||k||get old.......|
|11 Jun 2003||Ambrosja||When you are under 13 (or over 13 for that matter) you should consider seeking help from an adult and/or a professional. The need to commit suicide is the result of chemical imbalances in the system and this can be corrected. Sometimes the situation corrects itself as hormones shift and level out... other times the desire to die will not disappear. I started wanting to commit suicide when i was 10 years old, right about the same time that i started my period. I remained suicidal throughout high school, but by my early 20's, the depression began to lessen. Sure, i have my days, but i don't focus on it so much as to actively seek ways to die. The best thing to do when you start to feel depressed is to take action on whatever it is that seems to be troubling you the most. Proactivity is a great remedy for many of life's problems. For those that want to kill themselves out of guilt, please remember that guilt is something that has been manufactured by christian based belief systems. The laws of life are not based on such belief systems. For those that feel suicidal due to disease, don't be ashamed to seek help. Doctors are not put here to judge, but to help. I can see myself in so many of you and i hope you can find a way to reach out for help. hang in there.|
|11 Jun 2003||Karla||Please guys- this really makes me sick when i think of my family and suicide and reading some of these stories out here on this site makes me sick too. Hey i wanna commit suicide but i dont know how to because my family goes crazy if i say i want to be dead. I dont want them to be devastated and never go on with their life thinking about f*ckin me.|
|11 Jun 2003||will||Fancy wanting to kill yourself, cos you are not having sex, or getting a fuck from your girl friend, you sad sad creature. most of us want to kill ourselves for genuine reasons, not for pathetic excuses like that. Sorry, i've said too much. Back up the loft.............|
|10 Jun 2003||the gay punk||i have to reply on two somethings here. first, elizabeth, honey. you are fat (and so is half of the world and you can overpower us skinny people) but you are not ugly. if you are, then everyone is: vin diesel could be ugly, mariah carey is ugly, madonna is ugly (look at her friggin teeth), and britney spears, oh god please or i might puke to death for the thought of her. do not look down on yourself. if you do you won't accomplish the shit you'd wish you did. i know a lot of people in this "forum" that deserve to die, but you're NOT one of them.
and to the guy who wants to kill himself over that girl who won't fuck him. arrgh. he is the kind of guys that make gay people gay. selfish asshole. there are so many reasons you can think of to why she won't get in the sack with you.
1) you are ugly
2) you are a loser
3) your gf is a dyke, or if she isn't, you'll make her into one.
4) she doesn't really love you (why does she have to
5) you, as a lot of guys, don't deserve her
so please, shut up and masturbate with your stolen playboy magazine copy.
|10 Jun 2003||christine||why would you want an under 13year old to kill themself, they are too young|
|10 Jun 2003||the archbishop of hell||run around with a lolly pop in your mouth! if you dont stack it properly you wont die, it will just fuckin hurt, alot. so dont fuck up!|
|10 Jun 2003||dick||so you want to know the ultimate question of all time well after much thinking i have decided that this is the best way: strap a timed explosive device to yourself then fall asleep this will then explode while you sleep so its painless and leaves a hell of a mess. yay!|
|10 Jun 2003||fred||unload an uzi clip at your face.|